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Before anything else
The temperature rose too high, and she was trapped in this stupid suit, but safety first, as Scott always says. Rogue moved down the court focused on her goal, which was none other than to prevent a certain swamp rat from dunk. He had been showing off his agility all game and was accused of cheating. But no one was sure where the powers began and the prowess ended with Remy.
"No powers, Gambit," Logan said or rather growled when Remy stole the ball from him.
The cajun grinned as she went to block him, that mischievous grin, and she winked in return, enough of a distraction to steal the ball from him. My poor cajun, how easy you are. The ball began to glow and in less than a second it exploded in her hands, sending her across the court.
She was angry and embarrassed. Remy made her bite the dust. Damn cheater, she was going to kill him, she could hear him laughing, what an asshole, she was going to teach that swamp rat good manners. Remy thinks he's so funny, she was going to... And suddenly she was in his arms. He picked her up off the floor, pulled her close and she forgot her anger. All she could think about was how pretty his eyes were and how inviting his lips were. She didn't barely think about it, Rogue smiled, and placing her hand on his lips, kissed him. Remy's shocked face was worth it, even if it didn't last. But the sweet smile on his face and that look full of tenderness made her fly. She wished she could stay like that forever.
"Come on, lovebirds, we've got a game to play," Jubs said bringing her back to earth.
"Well chêre, shall we keep playing or shall we go somewhere else?" Remy raised an eyebrow, pulling her even closer, and went back for another kiss.
"Don't push your luck, Remy " she replied, laughing as she gave him a little nudge.
***
Long sleepless night
Rogue hadn't slept a wink all night. Erik was here to stay. He was no longer their enemy; he was one of them; he was their boss. Everyone hated the idea, everyone was angry. And she... she knew he wasn't an evil man. What would they think of her if she said it?
He had dreams like the professor. Erik just wanted to make things better. She knows that his path has not always been the right one. But wasn't that house a place for second chances? She was given one. But what if they found out about them? It had taken them so long to trust her. All those looks of mistrust when she defended him. Erik warned her, "They won't like it". She didn't want to lose her new family for the sins of her past. But the weight of the secret was so heavy.
How to tell Remy? What would he think of her? Magneto was our enemy, but she knew he wasn't evil. She knew his dreams. He had taught her so many things... and she could touch him without harming him.
***
Unanswered questions
She walked behind him, as she had done so many times before. Erik was talking about the safety of the venue.
"Remy has told the professor a million times. That we have to improve the security... that anyone could sneak in..." Erik didn't say anything, he just kept walking. He was so focused that she doubted he was listening to her. "It's horrible. I don't even want to imagine what Jean and Scott must be going through now with the baby..."
"Hank will figure it out. Find out who the real Jean Grey is and this will all be over." Erik sentenced with a coldness that made her feel uncomfortable.
"There're feelings involved. It's not that easy. You can't just dismiss someone with whom...”
"Rogue... always thinking of other people's feelings. That's what makes you so special. You can lead, people admire that dedication, and you can do great things," Erik interrupted her.
Rogue felt herself blushing. Erik saw things in her. He stood next to the large weeping willow that adorned the garden and turned to look at her.
"Have you ever thought about us?" he asked as if it didn't matter.
"Sometimes," she replied, though it had been a long time.
" Have you ever thought about taking back what was? I think it would be good, me and you, the X-Men would trust, if you, with your empathy and your kindness, are on my side... They know you wouldn't choose the bad side...”
She didn't know what to say. She had left that behind. His burden was too much for her. She had changed. Besides...
"Erik... Remy and I..."
"Gambit is a child," Erik says before letting her finish the sentence, again. "Youth is not eternal."
"Remy is older than me, Erik," Rogue replied with a chuckle.
"You know what I mean. Your powers and your years with Mystique have made you more mature," Erik responded.
"I guess you're right," she muttered. It's always been that way. She never had a choice. Got kicked out of the house, Mystique, and her training. The whole Ms Marvel thing. She never had time to be a kid.
"Besides, you can't touch him, and we all have needs, don't you dear?" Erik said, taking off his glove and offering her his hand. He looked at her. His blue eyes were full of confidence. He had lived so much; he knew the truth, holding on to what you can't have only caused pain. Erik could offer her that comfort. That normalcy. Still...
"It's not that easy, sugah," she whispered, shoving her hands into her jacket pockets. "I need to think."
"Sure Rogue, I know you're a smart woman. You'll make the right decision," he said with an assured smile.
Magneto walked back to the mansion at a steady pace and she walked behind. She felt uncomfortable in that silence so initiated a silly story she had just remembered. The mansion was in an eerie silence that gave her a bad feeling. Rogue increased her pace, walking past him.
The control room looked like the infirmary of a war camp. Remy was holding an ice pack over his head, but he looked dejected as if he had been hit by a meteorite.
"Remy, I'm sorry, I should have stayed here" He raised his head and gave a tired smile.
"Don't worry chere, Gambit will be fine" Remy replied.
"With that hard head of yours, nothing can hurt you," she teased, running her fingers through his hair, gently caressing where a bump was growing.
***
Coffee and video games
It's been years since she drank coffee with so much sugar, and it still tasted bitter.
***
I want to dance with somebody
She looked at the red lace bodysuit she had bought to wear with the dress. She struggled to find the perfect shade to match the red of the dress. And the stockings too. But she didn't need them anymore. And she felt like crying, but she was doing the right thing. Genosha needed her, and she was old enough to dream about foolish things. Why hold on to what you can't have?
There are more important things... Right?
The makeup barely masked the sadness on her face. Why was she so sad? She was going to do something good and ... she could touch freely, kiss freely ... Dance. Like the others, like any other woman. Like everyone else did.
When she took Erik's hand, she felt nothing. She could sense their skin, their hands, their bodies moving to the rhythm of the song. She could sense it, like the eyes that looked at them. But she could notice it just like when she was wearing gloves. This was skin against skin. There should be a difference, but she couldn't feel it. This wasn't fair. She would have to feel it. Like the couples on the dance floor at the club. Like everyone else. Like when she kissed Cody. Like when Remy smiled. Like when Remy held her hand in the club. Why did this make her feel so sad?
She closed her eyes, the song was ending, and she understood. Silly her. Erik was too close and there were no butterflies like in her stupid romance novels. Still, she kissed him.
Rogue placed her hand on his lips, and smiled, thinking she had done it the other way around and in that moment, it really felt so good.
"Thanks for the dance, sugah, but Remy's right, there are things deeper than skin."
"What?" Erik asked puzzled, grabbing her arm to keep her from pulling away from him.
"I'm sorry, I... I'm in love with him," And saying it, putting it into words made her feel so good, so free. Free at last to admit it... She just wanted to run to tell him, to tell him that he was right, to apologize for being a fool and ...
A green light, an explosion... Is it the end of the world?
It wasn't fair.
***
The sweet taste of revenge
She had to find Trask; she had to destroy him. Her chest hurt with every breath, the wind in her face cut like razors. But she didn't care. She had to tear it all apart. Where was that son of a bitch? Why was the government protecting him? Bullshit excuses. They had been attacked. They'd been hurt. They'd been killed. Don't they see that? You blind hypocrites, you never cared about us.
Rogue ripped off the top of the tank like pulling the wings off a fly. How easy it was, how good it felt, to hit, to break. These miserable ants thought they could stop her. Where were they when Genosha fell? The military was aiming their shitty guns at her. How funny, they couldn't even tickle her. Where is Trask? She was going to show them what real southern rage was all.
***
Walking in her mind
All the doors are open and everyone is yelling at her. Everyone hates her there. She can't blame them. They didn't ask to be there. She stole them. Their memories, their powers. All those voices in her head, reminding her that she's no good. The psyches fight with her for control, there are so many of them, some so powerful... and she has to fight, but… Maybe she should let someone else take over, so she wouldn't feel that pain anymore... She was so tired... She just wanted to stop feeling. Embrace oblivion and rest.
Until a familiar noise, all too familiar and painful, made her open her eyes. The sound of fabric cutting through the wind, cards exploding in the air. His boots against the ground...
"Gambit didn't know he could do that."
She saw him there, standing there with the ghosts of her mind vanishing into thin air. They'll come back, they always do, the doors don't stay closed for long.
"You're not real, sugah," she whispered, unable to look at him without bursting into tears. "This is my head. You're the piece of you I stole when Morph played with us."
"Gambit, it's as real as you want it to be, chere," said that Remy with his unique smile shining on his face.
Rogue broke into tears, she was so sure that she would never hear him call her that way again.
"You don't know what I've done... I... I've let you down,” she sobbed hiding her face with both hands.
"I bet it can't be that bad," he said, moving closer to her.
"Oh, Remy..." she sobbed as he held her in his arms. As she threw her arms around him, to anchor him to the earth with her, to never let him go, she woke up in her room at the mansion.
***
Cold
The mansion was broken, burned down. She left for a party and came back to desolation. The hallways were so quiet. Dark. It didn't make sense.
That house used to be full of life. Now there was nothing but a void. If only it could swallow her up. The peaceful nothingness. Her footsteps led her to his room. Ironically, it was the one that had suffered the least in the attack. Everything was the same as when he was alive. The posters on the walls, the New Orleans Saints flag, some Polaroids pinned to the wall, the old TV, and there folded over the chair was his trench coat.
She reached out her hand, fearful. Someone had brought it back, someone brought him home.
She held it in her hands. It still had his scent. Tears slid down her cheeks. It was so unfair. Remy was full of passion, full of life. He would never again enjoy all the things he loved. He would never again make breakfast for them or spend hours playing pool with Logan and Morph. Nor would he get Scott off his rocker. No one would fight with Jean in the kitchen anymore. No one would make Hank laugh out loud anymore, or tease Jubs. Who was going to take care of 'Ro's plants when she wasn't around?
Who would love her?
She couldn't breathe, tears choked in her throat, and the pain was overwhelming. Remy wasn't here. He wouldn't be here again. She couldn't tell him that she loved him. That she had always loved him.
She sat on the floor, wrapped in his trench coat, but she was still cold. She no longer had the warmth of his presence. Nor the light of his smile. The mansion was all shadows without him.
***
¿This is the end?
Bastion was done. Why didn't she feel better? Now she would have to go back to a house without him.