Chapter Text
Negan felt Rick’s eyes on him from across the loud, crowded room. The irritating, obnoxious jocks were playing beer pong and making a fool of themselves, music from the speakers so loud Negan had a feeling the cops would be showing up any minute.
He flicked his gaze over to Rick’s, who immediately looked away, staring down into the red cup he was holding. Negan smirked, making his way over, dodging the people drunkenly shouting over the music.
Rick glanced up and saw him coming, and he turned his body away, forgetting there was a wall behind him, flushing with embarrassment before sidestepping to his right to the kitchen sink, refilling his water.
“Tryna act busy?” Negan crowded into his personal space. Rick almost dropped his cup. “What?” He croaked.
“You’ve been staring at me, not just at this party, in school too,” Negan smirked. “You think I don’t notice? You’re so fucking obvious about it too, it’s embarrassing.”
Rick’s face burned and he turned to leave, sure that if he stuck around Negan would end up making him cry in front of everyone. Negan caught his arm to stop him, putting on his best apologetic voice. “Hey, I’m sorry, really. I know, I can be an asshole.” He had to raise his voice because one of the drunken fucktards had turned the music up even higher. The cops were definitely about to be called.
Rick’s arm was tense under his hand, and Negan set his beer down to use his other hand to tuck one of Rick’s curls behind a burning ear. Rick’s eyes met his, somewhat reluctantly pleased but distrusting. “It’s so fucking loud, wanna go somewhere to talk?” Negan shouted over the music that seemed to rattle the entire foundation of the house.
He saw Rick nervously look away, mumbling what Negan thought “I’m not sure” yada yada. Ignoring him, Negan slung his arm over Rick’s shoulders and pulled him flush against his side. Rick tried halfheartedly to push him away but Negan starts walking them towards the front of the house.
“Get off me!” Rick does shove him away this time, and Negan holds up his hands in surrender to placate him. “Rick, it’s just so fucking loud down here, we should find a room to talk!” He has to shout over the music that now is even louder since they’re next to one of the speakers.
“Here, c’mon!” He beckons Rick as he starts to ascend the staircase, pausing when he doesn’t notice Rick following. The younger boy was stood at the bottom, looking to be having a debate in his head as he stared up at Negan on the steps, appearing far too stiff for someone who should be enjoying themselves at a party, even if they were just drinking water or not.
Although, Negan’s not sure he’s seen Rick at a party before, or even outside school at all, for that matter.
“Rick! C’mon!” Negan turns and resumes his way up the stairs, smirking when he can see Rick in his peripheral, hesitatingly start to climb after him.
Negan opened the first door to his right, where two people were fucking, not noticing him when he closed the door in annoyance, heading to the next door just as Rick reached the top of the staircase.
Thankfully the next room was free, and he turned to Rick who stood nervously on the landing with his hand still on the bannister, looking as if he were about to bolt at any second. “Hey, Rick, this place is free, c’mon.” Negan didn’t wait for the younger boy, knowing he was too damn fucking polite to leave without saying something.
Negan went over to the bedside dresser and started pulling drawers out to inspect the contents, grinning a shark’s smile when he heard Rick slowly enter the room.
“Could you shut the door, pretty please? That music makes me wanna blow my fucking brains out.” He continued rifling through the drawers as the door slid shut with a click behind him. Finally the music was at least muted, along with the off-putting drunken hollering from downstairs.
Standing by the door, Rick spoke up, fiddling with his hands. “You shouldn’t be— you shouldn’t be going through other people’s stuff.” Negan paused and turned around to regard the other boy. He stared at him for a few seconds, just to watch Rick grow visibly more nervous. He slammed the drawer shut. “You’re right Ricky! We are guests in their home. We best conduct ourselves accordingly.”
He fell back onto the bed with his hands linked behind his head, eyes closed and sighed. “My god, this is comfortable, don’t you think?” He opened one eye to see Rick practically itching to open the door again and make his escape.
“Jesus, Rick, just loosen up for a minute, would it kill you to do that? Is that stick so far up your ass you can’t relax, even at a fucking party?” Negan let out a disappointed huff and closed his eyes again, waiting for Rick to take the bait.
“Loosen up?” Rick seethed. “You bullied me for- for 3 years Negan. And you’re asking me to loosen up?”
Negan could hear the boy’s voice catch in his throat, causing him to sit up, all of his attention on Rick, who became even more anxious, pressing himself back into the wall subtly.
“Rick, I’m sorry. I was stupid and dumb and I didn’t realise just how much of an asshole I was being.” Negan’s eyes bore into Rick’s as he continued. “I mean, I knew I was being an asshole, but I didn’t know it effected you this much.” Negan put on a mask of contrition, and Rick seemed to get a fraction less anxious. Negan had to hold in a smirk.
“Hey, get over here. I wasn’t lying about the softness of this thing.” He closed his eyes, keeping them closed when a few moments later of Rick no doubt warring with himself, very slowly perched on the very edge of the bed.
He opened his eyes, looking over at Rick, whose back was ramrod straight, back of his head angled away from Negan. Compared to what most people at the party were wearing, Rick was dressed as ever the choirboy, a button up light blue shirt tucked into his tan chinos. Negan held in a grin.
“Rick, you gotta lie down to feel it!”
“I’m fine right where I am,” Rick replied primly.
“No, man, lie down! Tell me all the grief that I’ve caused you. Let me know how bad I fucked up, please. I need to hear it. I really am trying to change, so let it all out, everything you ever wanted to say to me when I was putting you through it.”
Negan did want to hear about how he’d damaged Rick, but fuck no he wasn’t going to change. He was 18 years old, it was too late for him and he didn’t want to, either way.
With his eyes closed, he could feel Rick’s movements through the mattress. Rick went to lay himself down, then stopped, then shifted and did actually lie back. There were a few inches of space between them, but Negan would fix that eventually.
He heard Rick’s breathing get heavier as the boy worked up the nerve to spill whatever had been on his mind regarding Negan for the last few years. Negan waited in barely contained excitement.
Rick had been his primary target since the end of middle school up until last year. The boy’s father was sheriff, and Negan just couldn’t believe the son of the man in charge of their local PD was such a wimpy, soft and shy little thing.
When the sheriff had come to their school with a couple deputies to give a talk about safety during Halloween bonfires and fireworks, upon hearing that Rick Grimes of all people was the sheriff’s son, Negan had taken it upon himself to interrogate the boy.
So yeah, maybe he’d done a bit more than interrogation, like cornering him in the bathroom, leaving nasty notes through his locker’s slats or passing them around class and humiliating him in front of the football team. But, really, Negan hadn’t done that much. His ears perked as he heard Rick eventually gather the nerve to speak.
“At- at lunch, you used to always- always pretend to fall and throw your whole- your whole tray onto me and I started to- to bring changes of clothes with me to school because I knew that you would- you would-”
Rick’s breathing kept hitching, and Negan wondered how a sheriff’s son could be such a sensitive coward, but stayed silent as Rick continued next to him.
“My mom would ask me why I needed so much clothes for school. My dad would just shout at me, telling me I-I must be 3 years old if I can’t keep my clothes clean for a day.” Rick’s hitched breaths became wracking sobs, and Negan turned his head towards him.
Rick’s hands covered his eyes, but Negan could see the tear tracks trailing down the side of his face.
“And always, I lied to them, I said it was my fault. Not that this big bully at school was making my life miserable every single day. When you went to high school I cried with relief, then the next year I was here. And I see you in the hallways and I just get so angry at myself. Why didn’t I just fucking do anything about it?”
Negan barely has time to react before Rick climbs atop him with a furious expression, reigning his fists down on Negan’s head as Negan tries to block the punches, one painfully connecting with his temple, jarring him. He tries to wrestle Rick to his back, getting a knee to his kidney and doubling over but still catches the next punch headed for his face.
He rolls Rick off of him, wrangling himself between Rick’s legs as he lashes them out, kicking Negan hard in the shoulder. Still with a grip on Rick’s pants, once he stumbles back he just drags Rick along with him. He grabs Rick’s other leg and forces his way between them.
They grapple at each others arms, Rick clocking Negan in the chin, before Negan has both of Rick’s hands pinned by his head. Two drunk teenagers open the door of the room, causing Rick and Negan to simultaneously shout a loud “Fuck off!” And the door is promptly shut.
“That shit,” Negan pants, “is in the past-”
He’s cut off when Rick under him spits in his face, snarling. Taken aback, Negan leans back for a second before Rick tears his head up and connects with Negan’s, sending the older boy stumbling back into a closet door.
“FUCK you,” Rick spits at him as he walks past Negan trying to get back up in a disoriented state. Rick slams the door behind him, and crumpled against the closet door, Negan thinks he might be in love.