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Are Magic Potions Real? Let's Talk About That

Summary:

Rhett and Link decide to try some magic potions for fun, never assuming any of them would work. Genital change potion? Pff. It's all a joke, until Link wakes up after a nap and something's different.

Notes:

Hi, this is my first fic! Please be gentle.

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Rhett and Link were chilling at the creative house. They were catching up on some last-minute work, and they were in no rush. Both of their wives and kids were out of town, sort of a mini-vacation without them. They had too much work to do to go, and their families didn’t take it too personally. So, they weren’t in any rush to go home to empty houses. They decided to lounge in the living room instead of their offices, it was more comfy and added a more relaxed vibe to their work.

Rhett looked up from his laptop. “Hey, I think we’re just about done here, right?” Link nodded. “Yeah, pretty much. You wanna eat somethin’?”

“Yeah, but nothin’ too heavy. Whatever snacks we got here is fine.” Rhett said. “Although, I’d like a drink. We got anything?”

“M’not sure. Lemme check.” Link disappeared into the kitchen and came back a few minutes later with arms full of packaged snacks and some beers. “Jackpot! Totally forgot these were at the back of the fridge.” He grinned.

Rhett smiled. Link’s smile was infectious, he couldn’t help but return it when his best friend smiled at him. For what felt like the millionth time in his life, he tried to repress the feelings he felt that weren’t so platonic.

He was his best friend for forty years and meant everything to him, and he wasn’t about to ruin what he had with Link. He was sure that it wasn’t mutual. After all, he would have done or said something before now, right? They had long since gotten over any taboos about sex, Sextember proved that. He and Link talked about sex and what they liked, and no hints ever came up, no signals that his best friend felt anything other than a deep friendship. He sighed.

Link, concerned, asked, “What’s up, Bo?” Rhett forced the smile back onto his face and hoped it didn’t look fake. “Nothing, man. Just a little burned out from working. Toss me some of them snacks.” Link, not quite convinced, tossed him some food and placed the beers on the coffee table. “Alright, man. As long as you’re okay.” “I’m good, I’m good.” Rhett assured him. He took a long swig of his beer. Link followed suit.

“I’m not about to get wasted, though,” Link said before taking another swig. “M’too dang old to handle hangovers anymore. Man, they get brutal the older you get.” Rhett grumbled in agreement. “Mhmm, a good buzz is about all I can stand anymore. Better than nothing, I guess.” “Yeah.” They put on some music and chatted and ate for a while, drank their beers.

“Oh, Link, I know I said we were finished with work, but did you want to talk about some pitches for GMM? I had a few ideas I wanted to bounce off of you before we pitched them to the rest of the crew.” Link, slouched on the couch, leaned his head back and groaned. “Aw, man. I didn’t want to work no more, man. Can we talk about it on Monday?”

“Come on, just a couple of things. I promise we don’t have to do anymore more than talk about ‘em.”

“Alright,” Link conceded, “But I think I deserve another beer if we have to work more.” He got up and came back with a few more. “Hey, man, remember what we said about only getting buzzed.” Rhett warned. “Yeah, well you’re tryna make me work more, I’m gonna get buzzed more,” Link glared and thrust another beer at him. “And as punishment, you’re gonna drink more with me.” Rhett snorted, “Alright, alright. No need to get huffy, Neal.” He grabbed the beer out of Link’s hand and opened his laptop back up.

They talked back and forth for about half an hour about different ideas for the show, then Rhett got to the last one on his list. “I know this is a little early, but for Halloween, I was thinking about trying some magic potions recipes I dredged up. I know we’ve done some slightly similar stuff before, but I think we can just cook up a bunch made of safe-to-ingest ingredients and make a big show of waiting for them to work, etc.”

 Link perked up a little. “Yeah? I like it, sounds a little more old-school, and the Mythical Beasts are always saying they miss some of the old videos, I’m always seeing comments begging us to do more absurd ones again. They’d love that. A nice throwback.”

Rhett said, “Awesome. I already got a few I looked up ready to go, and they’re nothing too complicated or exotic, even. Mostly just stuff you’d already have in the kitchen.” He rattled off a few standard ones. “There’s ones that are supposed to make you smarter, more charismatic, confident, a better athlete-”

 Link guffawed at that one. “Okay, I mean the personality ones I can see how the placebo effect would make them seem like they’re working, but it’d be pretty obvious if it was supposed to do something physical and nothing happened.”

He jumped up and yelled, “Look at me, I’m gonna run an obstacle course!” He tried to jump over the ottoman like a hurdle, and tripped on it and landed on his side. He giggled hysterically. “Ow!” he got out between giggles.

 Rhett couldn’t stop laughing at him. “Looks like we’re a little more buzzed than we intended. Are you okay?” Link climbed to his feet. “Yeah, I’m fine. Go on.” He sat back down.

 Rhett looked at the list, “Wow, speaking of obvious physical changes. I just copy-pasted this list, but I just realized one of these is a genital-change potion.” They both chuckled at that one. “Oh, and this one here is supposed to change your hair color to whatever you want, just add food coloring to match the hair color you want...” Rhett rattled off a few more and Link suddenly said, “Let’s make a bunch! See what happens.” Rhett wanted to say it was a bad idea, but instead he chuckled and said, “Okay, why not?” Probably the buzz-closer-to-actual-drunk feeling talking.

They went into the kitchen and dug out all of the ingredients they could find for the recipes, and had a grand, if sloppy, time, making them. After they were all lined up on the counter, they started drinking them, waiting about ten minutes to see if anything would happen.

“I don’t feel any smarter, I don’t think it’s working.” Rhett chuckled. Link grabbed another glass and threw it back like a shot. “What’s that one, the athletic prowess?” Rhett asked. “Nah, learned m’lesson with that one. I’m gonna dye my hair blue!” He looked at the glasses. “Wait, that one’s blue, too. What was that one?” “The genital one,” Rhett looked at the glass. “Uh oh, which one did you drink?! Blue hair or vagina?” Rhett laughed.  Link cackled. “Better drink both, just in case this is the hair one!” He downed the glass in one gulp again. “Charisma, here I come!” Rhett drank an orange one.

They both waited ten, maybe twenty minutes. “Nothin’. Anything, Rhett?” “Nope, No Charisma. I feel a little more confident, although that might just be the beer talking. Wait, did I drink the confidence one, or did you?” “Hell if I can remember. Screw this, let’s go back to snacks.” Link wandered back to the couch piled with cookies and chips and plopped down. Rhett sat on the loveseat and they resumed chit-chatting and stuffing their faces.

After a while, Link started looking a little pale. “Ugh. I don’t feel too good. Dunno if it was the beer, junk food or potions, but my stomach hurts.”

Rhett, half-amused and half-concerned, said, “It was probably a combo of all three. I’m surprised I don’t feel like puking. I know! It was probably the ‘Link nausea potion’ I gave you.” Link shoved his shoulder. “Shut up, man. I’m serious. I feel like crap right now. I’ma lay down for a bit.” He tipped sideways on the couch into a laying position. Rhett yawned. A nap sounded good right now. Must be late. He checked the time. 6:30? Felt way later. He dozed on the loveseat for a while sitting up.

“Rhett!” Rhett groaned. “Rhett! Rhett, wake up!” Rhett was still about eighty percent asleep. “Mmm!” He groaned grumpily. “What? Whassyer problem?” He vaguely realized his face was planted into the back of the loveseat, hair plastered all over his face. “Rhett, I’m serious. Wake up! Something’s not right!” “Ugh. What’s up? What’d you gotta wake me up for?”

Rhett lifted his head from the loveseat, looking at a panicked Link through bleary eyes and attempted to unstick his long hair from his face. “Okay, you look really freaked out. What’s up?”

Link was panicked almost to the point of tears and could barely get it out. “One of the potions, man. I think...I think...I think it worked.”

 “What? What are you talking about?” Rhett laughed. This has got to be a joke, right? He’s joking. But the panic looked too convincing to be an act. He stood up and walked over to Link. He grabbed Link’s face in his big hands. “Okay, calm down, slow down. Tell me as plain as you can what happened.”

Link sniffed. “Okay. I woke up. Nausea’s gone, but felt a little weird. Couldn't quite tell how. Realized I had to pee. Went to the bathroom and...and...” “And what?” He was shaking, Rhett realized. He held Link’s shoulders firmly. “Just tell me. Do we need to go to the hospital? Is something wrong? Come on, talk to me, man.”

“Yeah. Somethin’s wrong, alright. But I don’t think the hospital could help.” He stepped back from Rhett. He started undoing his fly. Rhett always fantasized about Link undressing in front of him, but not under these circumstances. “Woah, wait, what are you-?” In one swift move, Link pulled down his pants and underwear. “Look!”

 Rhett stared. “Wha-”

“Yeah.”

 “What...what...”

“Yeah, I know. My hair ain’t blue, but this changed.”

Rhett couldn’t help staring. Link had a vagina. The genital potion worked. Vagina, vulva, the whole thing. He was speechless. “I...”

“Yeah.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah. What do we do?”

 Rhett gawked at Link’s new genitals. “I have no idea, man.” Link sighed and pulled his pants back up. He sat down on the couch. Rhett plopped down next him, totally dumbstruck.

He just looked at him. “Link, man...”

“Rhett, I’m freaking out. What do I do?!” He started sobbing. He clung to his best friend. Rhett embraced him. “It’s okay, we’re gonna figure this out, we’re gonna figure it out. Shhh. Take it easy.” He stroked the back of Link’s head.

Link lifted his head from Rhett’s shoulder. “It’s temporary, right? It’s gotta be temporary.” “I’m sure it is. Maybe all we have to do is wait it out. Let’s not jump to any conclusions.” Rhett spoke calmly to Link, even though he was not at all calm.

“This is a disaster,” Link spoke, muffled, into Rhett’s shoulder. “Tonight was going so well, and we were having so much fun, and I had to go ahead and be so dang stupid and start making those potions! It was s’posed to be a laugh, I never in my life thought any of ‘em would work!”

“Well, how could we know man? I thought it was a joke, too. And I was having a nice night, too. I was having a good time with you, too. I always have a good time with you.”

“No, you don’t understand,” Link still sobbing into Rhett’s shoulder, tears wetting Rhett’s shirt. “Tonight was the night I decided I was gonna...I was gonna tell you...”

Rhett stopped breathing. He couldn’t be about to say what he thinks, right? He’s just imagining things. He shook his head. He was being ridiculous, his best friend was in a crisis right now.

“Tell me what, Bo? What do you got to tell me? Come on, tonight can’t get any worse. It’s okay, I promise.”

Link lifted his head from Rhett’s tear-stained shoulder. He sniffed, wiped his face, and fixed his glasses. “I’ve been thinking about this for so long, I thought tonight was the perfect time to tell you. Okay, here goes.” He took a deep breath. He looked into Rhett’s green eyes. “I love you.”

Rhett’s heart stopped. He stared right into the shorter man’s beautiful blue eyes, daring to hope. “You mean...?”

“Yes. I’m in love with you. I have been for a long time, it just took me so long to realize it. It came upon me slowly, the realization, you know? Like waking up from a dream. It just dawned on me that I felt more than just love for a best friend, even for my best friend in the entire world. Like, beyond Frodo and Sam. I’m just hoping you don’t hate me now. I wasn’t sure if you felt that way about me at all, but I couldn’t stand it anymore. You had to know. Wasn’t right to go on pretending. Wasn’t fair to you.”

Tears threatened to well up in Rhett’s eyes. He started laughing.

 “What’s funny, man?!”

 “No, no. It’s not like that. I’m just so relieved. I don’t have to hide it anymore.”

Link sat back. “Hide it? You mean, you-?” Rhett grabbed Link’s shirt, pulled Link towards him and kissed him. It was sweet and romantic. He pulled back, until their foreheads were touching.

“I love you,” Rhett whispered. “I’ve always loved you.”

Link’s eyes welled up. He laughed in relief.

Rhett took a breath, and kissed him again, more passionate, full of need. He poured all the frustration, all the longing, into the kiss. It felt amazing. He could hardly believe this was real. Link ran his hand from Rhett’s shoulder down his arm, gripping his bicep, melting into the kiss, opening his mouth and letting their tongues mingle and explore each other. Rhett heard himself moaning, Link moaned into Rhett’s mouth in return.

Link parted from the kiss just enough to speak. “Rhett, I’ve always dreamed of this, I fantasized about it so many times. I’ve lost count of the times I’ve cum into my hand, saying your name.”

Rhett panted, his jeans getting tighter as his cock got harder. “Me too. I want you, Link. I want you so bad.”

“Wait, even if I have a pussy?”

“Yeah. I don’t care what you have, I want to fuck you either way.” Rhett growled. He attacked Link’s mouth again, Link fell back on the couch, Rhett grinding against him. Link rubbed Rhett’s erection through his pants. “God, Rhett, you’re so hard.” Link panted. “And I’m...I’m wet. That’s so weird to say. I’m so wet...”

Rhett slid his hand down Link’s jeans, feeling his pussy though his briefs. “Yeah, you are. I like it.” Link moaned at the touch. He was surprised at how sensitive his pussy was, even though his underwear. He could feel his own wetness soaking though. It was the most peculiar feeling, being used to having a hard dick most of his life, to having a pussy. Being aroused felt so completely different. In a good way.

“Touch me, Rhett,” Link moaned. “I want to feel your fingers. My pussy is so sensitive, so wet. It needs it, I need it.” He begged, pulling Rhett’s hand up and over to slide under his briefs.

Rhett moaned at the sensation of his hot, wet pussy. He rubbed Link’s clit and slid his fingers up and down his vulva, not even inside yet, and Link was arching up into his touch. “Yes, Rhett. That feels amazing. Take my pants off.”  Rhett quickly undid Link’s jeans and slid them and his briefs off his legs and went to work on his own, reaching back to rub Link’s newly acquired pussy again.

They finally got all of their clothes off and were free to grind against each other. Rhett ran his hands over Link’s still flat chest. “No breasts, huh?” Link laughed, “Thankfully, no. I got enough to deal with.” Rhett played with Link’s nipples, remembering how sensitive they were, and Link moaned lewdly. He found Rhett’s mouth again, tongues dancing. He stroked Rhett’s rock-hard cock, making Rhett moan into his mouth at the touch. He thrust up into Link’s hand.

“I’m gonna make you feel so good, baby.” Rhett promised, his voice husky with arousal. His hand drifted down to Link’s pussy again, rubbing his clit in circles, Link wantonly moaning and writhing under Rhett. Rhett dipped two fingers into Link’s pussy, making Link arch off the couch and say, “Oh, shit, Rhett!” Rhett growled, pumping his fingers, crooking them just right so he could reach his G-spot. “You have a G-spot, right?” He brushed over just the right spot. “Oh, fuck yeah, I do! Oh, God. Rhett! It’s so good. I’ve never felt this before. It’s like a prostate, only different. Keep going!”

 Rhett was delighted to oblige. He was fascinated how he was able to make Link squirm like this, writhing in ecstasy. This was a completely different experience than fucking a woman, and completely different from what he imagined with a man. This was a new experience.

Link was beside himself, writhing, squirming, out of control. He couldn’t believe having a pussy felt like this. And then it occurred to him, he could have multiple orgasms! He didn’t have a refractory period, he could just keep going.

“Keep it up, baby. Keep fucking me with your fingers, Rhett, I’m gonna cum!” Rhett fucked Link’s pussy with his fingers until Link moaned the longest moan he had so far. “Oh. Oh. Oh, oh oh God. I’m gonna-” Then it hit him. He felt it as a whole body sensation, his pussy tightening on Rhett’s fingers, Rhett moaning at the feeling of Link clamping down on his fingers. Link’s hands grabbing onto Rhett’s arms as he rode out his orgasm. He felt Link slowly relax and let go of him, then he yanked Rhett’s face to his and made out with him.

“That feel good, baby?” Rhett purred, squeezing his own cock to manage his arousal.

“Oh my gosh, Rhett. That’s like nothing I’ve ever felt.” Rhett smirked. “Well, how about this?” He dove down between Link’s legs, tasting his pussy. “Oh. Oh, that’s-woah. Oh, yes. Oh, my God.” Link ran his hands through Rhett’s dirty blond curls, hissing at the feel of his warm, wet tongue swiping over his clit. He wrapped his legs around Rhett, trying to draw him even closer. Rhett gladly dove in deeper, nose to Link’s clit, fucking him with his tongue. Rhett moaned, “You taste so good, Link. Your pussy tastes so good, baby.”

Link could hardly believe how good this felt after Rhett’s fingers. Hot, wet, fucking sensational. He was grinding his pussy against Rhett’s face, begging him to keep going. Rhett gladly obliging. Link just remembered them talking about sex on Ear Biscuits and how Rhett talked about eating pussy was his favorite thing to do. Holy shit, did that show. If he was stuck with a pussy the rest of his life, maybe it wasn’t so bad, after all. Rhett clearly was a pro at eating pussy, and before Link knew it, he was about to cum again.

“Rhett, oh god, Rhett, I’m close.” Rhett lifted his head just enough to say, “Go on, baby. Cum in my mouth. I want to feel you. I want to feel you cum on my tongue.” That was all it took to push Link over the edge, and he was cumming explosively for the second time. “Yeeeess, oh god. Yes, Rhett.” He let go of Rhett, panting heavily.

“Rhett, this is better than I ever-I can’t-” Rhett chuckled. “You can’t articulate it, huh?”

 “Yeah, it’s amazing. I wish you could feel this.”

“I like what I’m feeling now, baby.” He stroked his rock-hard cock, Link drinking in the sight. He rolled up to his knees and took Rhett in his mouth.

Rhett let out a long, low moan. He gently placed his hand on the back of Link’s more salt-than-pepper head, and enjoyed the feeling of Link bobbing his head up and down on his cock. Swiping his tongue around the head, then taking him deep. Guess testing that gag reflex on the show so many times worked out in his favor. “Link, Link, stop. It feels so good.” Rhett managed to gasp. “It’s too good. I’m gonna cum.” He pulled Link off of him.

 “What’s wrong with that?” Link grinned, biting his lip with his pointy canines. “Nothing, but I want to save it. You may not have a refractory period anymore, but I do. I want to fuck you.”

Link’s expression seemed to say he hadn’t even thought of that. Voice low, he whispered in Rhett’s ear. “Yes. I’d love that. Please fuck me.”

Rhett laid Link back down on the couch, laying in between his legs. He kissed Link slowly and sensually, caressing his body up and down. He parted his legs and guided his cock slowly into Link, stopping at the head, letting Link get used to the feeling of his pussy being filled.

“Oooh. That’s good.” Link moaned. “And it’s not even all the way in yet.”

“Just you wait, baby.” Rhett purred, sinking slowly into the wet heat of Link’s new pussy, enjoying every blissful inch, as was Link.

“Oh, God. Rhett, you’re so big. I’m so full, it feels amazing.”

“Oh, God, I love this pussy.” Rhett moaned. “You and me both, brother.” Link said.

 He could hardly manage the sensation of being filled. It felt so good, and Rhett hadn’t even started moving yet. “Mmm, you feel so good, baby.” said Rhett. “I’m going to fuck your pussy so good.”

“Your cock’s so big, Rhett, it’s so good. Please,” Link whined. “Get a move on and fuck me!”

“Your wish is my command.” Rhett started thrusting, slow at first, ramping up. He wanted to take his time with Link, as Link was essentially a virgin when it came to experience with this new set of genitals.

He gradually increased his speed, Link begging him, “Come on, faster. Faster, please! Fuck me!”

“I wanted to start out slow,” Rhett said. “Slow, Schmo. Just fuck me, please!” Thrusting his hips up into Rhett. “Come on!” He said, through gritted teeth. “Just fuck me!”

“Okay,” Rhett laughed. “Still Link, always controlling.” “You’re damn right, let’s go!”

“Yes, sir.” Rhett grabbed his hips and went all out, fucking him hard and fast, just like Link asked. “Yes, that’s it, Rhett. Yes!” Rhett pounded Link’s pussy with abandon, reaching down to flick Link’s clit. “Whoo. Yeah, do that.” Link managed, “Keep doing that.”

“Oh fuck, Link. Oh, fuck.” Rhett was getting close, but he was determined to hold back until he could give Link his best orgasm of the night. He concentrated on fucking Link, making him writhe and moan and scream.

Link’s hands were all over Rhett, like he couldn’t focus on anything but the amazing feeling of Rhett fucking him. “Yes, that’s it, Rhett! Yes! Oh god, I’m close. I’m going to cum, I’m so close!” Link shrieked, losing all control.

“Oh, fuck, Link. Please hurry, I can’t last much longer. Your pussy feels so good, I can’t hold back.” Rhett panted.

“Oh, fuck!” Link could feel it coming, that full body sensation again, could feel it coming at him like a train. It was so intense this time, his vision whiting out, he was seeing sparkles. “Oh, God! I’m fucking cumming!” His pussy clenched around Rhett, squeezing so hard. Rhett couldn’t stand it anymore. He let out the longest, loudest moan, and was cumming harder than he’d ever had in his life.

 In the throes of his orgasm, Link could feel Rhett’s cock pulsing inside him, filling him up with hot cum. It felt amazing and made Link cum even harder. Rhett collapsed onto Link, both of them sweating and panting. “You’re too heavy, man.” Link laughed, pushing Rhett to the side. Rhett laughed and they both rolled onto their side, facing each other.

“Oh my gosh, that was. Holy shit.” Link said. He could hardly move. “I know.” Rhett agreed, running his hand gently across Link’s face.

Link said, “You know, if this is permanent, I wouldn’t hate it.” “Me either,” Rhett said. “I mean, that was unlike any other experience I’ve ever had.”

“Same.” Link said, “And if it isn’t, maybe you could take a turn.” Rhett’s eyebrows quirked. “Oh, my. I hadn’t thought of that.”

Link laughed. “Let’s take a shower.” They stood up, and Link had one more sensation to experience. “Oh my goodness.” He looked down. “It hadn’t occurred to me that I’d feel your cum leak out of me. This is really hot, actually.”

 Rhett stared. “Yeah, it is. I love watching your pussy drip with my cum.” Link moaned at that sentence. “Don’t talk like that. You’ll have me ready to go again.”

“Already? Man, having a pussy is great, isn’t it?” Link laughed, “Maybe you’ll get to find out.”

Rhett growled at that idea. He kissed Link, hard, and Link returned the kiss.

“How are we going to handle this situation? I mean, even if this isn’t permanent, and my dick comes back, this is still complicated. All of our relationships, and...”

“Yeah, I know. We’ll figure something out.”