Work Text:
March 22
It was early in the morning when Jolyne woke up, walked to the kitchen, and saw F.F. surrounded by a thousand water bottles.
“What the hell?”
“Happy World Water Day,” said F.F. tossing a bottle at Jolyne.
“What?” Jolyne asked again because it was way too early in the morning for this.
“Well holidays are for important things, then it occurred to me what’s more important than water, it must have a holiday, so I looked it up and it’s today.”
“That’s great, did you use the group credit card for this?”
“Of course, the water is for the family.”
“And how much did you spend?”
“Two hundred dollars.” This would have been less painful had Ermes not ranted about the importance of saving money two nights ago. “There’s more water in the garage.”
Jolyne picked up a couple of bottles, “Do you want to wake up Anasui?”
“Hell yeah!”
April 6
After World Water Day Jolyne assumed that would be the end of any spontaneous holiday. Especially, given the lecture they received from Ermes. Maybe running around the house spraying water at each other was a bad idea. But, Emporio had fun and that means Jolyne was doing her job as a parent. Or at least that was her mental justification right now.
She was not expecting to walk into the living room where Anasui was building a giant tomato plant sculpture out of metal. Meanwhile, F.F. and Emporio were sitting on the couch eating a carton of tomatoes.
“Can I have an explanation?”
“F.F. suggested that I make a tomato plant sculpture, of course, I told them it was a dumb idea but we can sell it.”
“Bullshit, it’s going to sit in our backyard,” said F.F.
Jolyne smiled, Anasui liked to deny having feelings for F.F. but still went out of his way to make them happy.
“Okay, why a tomato plant?”
“It’s Tomato Day,” said Emporio.
“Where are you guys finding these holidays?”
“I look them up,” said F.F.
“So, are we having tomato soup for dinner,” Jolyne joked.
“Yes,” all three of them said at the same time.
April 11
This time Jolyne was fully on board for random holiday shenanigans. Not to say she wasn’t on board previously but this time she actually knew what was up. Of course, she knew she was doing something stupidly impulsive but she also knew F.F. and Anasui would back her up. If Jolyne had to categorize her partners, she would put F.F. Anasui and herself as beings of impulse, Weather as sleepy consideration, and Ermes as someone who actually thought things through.
Point being, there was a really cute fluffy gray kitten. And today is National Pet Day.
Jolyne walked in to see her family chilling in the living room watching Weather play the piano. She didn’t know Weather could play the piano. She honestly thought he only slept in them.
“Hey guys I-”
Ermes immediately walked towards her and took the kitten out of her hands. “Who’s this little sweetheart?”
Jolyne stared in shock as her girlfriend cuddled the kitten.
“Are you sure this is a good idea, cats don’t like water,” said F.F.
“For once I agree with F.F.,” Anasui didn’t want to compete with a cat for Jolyne’s attention.
“Cat’s not liking water is a stereotype some cats really like water, Maine Coons, Turkish Vans, and Norwegian Forest Cats just to name a few examples,” said Emporio.
“Did you buy cat litter?” asked Weather.
“No.”
“Why did you buy Gloria?” asked Ermes.
“Gloria?”
“That’s her name,” said Ermes, “Seriously those, buying a cat is pretty impulsive.”
“Right you see,” Jolyne took a deep breath, “Happy National Pet Day”
May 10
The last person Jolyne expected to celebrate random holidays was Ermes. She just didn’t seem the type. But since Gloria was here Ermes was more supportive of her partners’ chaos. If Jolyne had known this earlier, she would have gotten her a cat a long time ago.
The family was at the dining room eating breakfast Ermes made surprising them.
“This is good, thank you Ermes,” said Weather.
“Of course, it is a national holiday after all,” Ermes smiled way too maliciously for Jolyne’s liking.
“What day is it?” asked F.F.
“National Clean Your Room Day.”
“Oh,” they all said collectively.
“But why stop the fun there, let’s make it National Clean Your House Day.”
“You’re so evil,” Jolyne groaned.
“It’s also National Shrimp Day,” said Emporio, “Can we have shrimp for dinner?”
“Of course, in fact, we can go grocery shopping while everyone cleans.”
“This is for accidentally flooding the house,” said F.F.
“Yes.”
“I shall clean the kitchen,” said Weather already gathering everyone’s plates despite some people still eating.
“You’re so evil,” said Jolyne completely in love with her.
“There better be nothing on fire when I get back.”
May 29
Jolyne walked into a house filled with pictures of snails. Objectively better than dealing with real snails. She knew it was a holiday, the real question was who looked it up. She saw Weather playing a quiet toon on the piano, with a fake snail on his hat.
“Did you do this?” she asked.
Weather nodded, “Snails need to be celebrated.”
“Do you have a personal connection with them or something?”
Weather shrugged.
F.F. walked into the kitchen carrying a hyper-realistic snail cake.
“Who made the cake?” asked Jolyne.
“I ordered it.”
Anasui entered the living room, “Hey Weather, I finished decorating the front yard.”
Jolyne stood up and ran to the front yard. There were three, huge, snail statues and one mushroom statue. One snail was on the roof. She looked to see a banner over the garage saying, ‘Happy Snail Day.’
She walked back inside, “Weather, you really like snails.”
“I find them fascinating.”
“Does Ermes know about this?”
“Of course, I told her two weeks ago.”
Jolyne nodded without a doubt Weather was Ermes’s favorite partner, purely because he told her what he was going to do.
“Hey Jolyne, I got you this,” Anasui handed her a French flag.
“Thanks?”
“Since snails are part of French cuisine, I figure it would be appropriate to burn that flag today.”
“Sweet, let’s wait till Emporio and Ermes come home.” Truthfully she wanted to burn it right there but she was trying something called, Self-Control.
Once everyone was home the family burned a French flag making Jolyne’s British ancestor very proud. They ate dinner, watched a short snail documentary, and ate cake.
“Anasui, about the snails we can’t have them year-round,” said Ermes.
“I’ll take them apart tomorrow.”
“Are you sure?” asked Ermes.
“Of course, that’s the best part of building anyone.”
“Never build a house,” said F.F.
“We are going to celebrate these holidays next year, right?” asked Emporio.
“We can’t buy a pet every year,” said Ermes.
“Can’t we,” said Jolyne.
“No.”
“I see no reason why we can’t celebrate every year,” said Weather, “Will make National Pet Day, a spoil Gloria day. We already have burning the French flag as a Snail Day Tradition. Ermes will naturally make us celebrate Clean Your Room Day, and F.F. will naturally celebrate World Water Day. We’ll figure out the traditions as we go on.”
“I guess we can celebrate this every year,” said Ermes assuming it would be a onetime thing.
“Good, it’s what makes our family special,” said Emporio.