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Rafayel insisted he just didn’t really like how his body looked. That it was fine to go shirtless at the beach, but he could never go to bathhouses or anywhere that nudity was commonplace because he didn’t like how he looked when his shorts came off.
This was the explanation he gave Xavier every time they ended up alone together in the nearly full year they’d been dating. Usually at Xavier’s apartment, rutting against each other until Xavier was aching, straining against his pants, and Rafayel would take care of him eagerly, a handjob or a blowjob while insisting that he was fine and didn’t need any help of his own, and besides, he would just feel uncomfortable pulling his pants down.
And considering at times like those, Xavier couldn’t feel any bulge similar to his own from Rafayel, he had to wonder if his self-shame was so strong that he couldn’t even get aroused, or maybe he just wasn’t attracted to Xavier. Based on the way Rafayel rode his hips while they made out, though, Xavier doubted it was the latter. And if it was, Xavier figured they could find a working solution, because he loved his boyfriend, and that was what people did when they loved each other.
So to test the theory that perhaps Rafayel was too ashamed to get hard for him, Xavier decided to approach their next session a little differently. As they sat on Xavier’s bed, kisses turning heated and hands groping each other’s bodies, Xavier backed off a little, reeling in some of his intensity, kissing his boyfriend deeply but not exactly hotly.
Rafayel pulled away a little, looking confused, but Xavier just smiled and kissed him again. “I love you,” he murmured against Rafayel’s mouth. “Let me show you.” His hands slid beneath Rafayel’s shirt and up his back.
Rafayel pulled away again. “Don't...”
“Please,” Xavier insisted, keeping him close. “I won’t... I won’t go too far, you can stop me whenever you want, I just want to... touch you, see you.” He kissed him slowly. “I love all of you, I want you to see that.”
Rafayel was tense in his arms, not looking at him and a concerned expression across his face. His breathing seemed rapid, and his cheeks were red. But finally, he said, “Okay. Okay, but if I say stop...”
“I will.” Xavier almost laughed but chose to grin instead, pressing Rafayel down against the bed. “Of course. Whatever you want.” He kissed him, slow and hard, his hands finding their way beneath Rafayel’s shirt again to skim across his skin. Rafayel’s skin was hot, and he reacted well to the touch, pressing against Xavier’s hands.
Leaning away, Xavier pulled Rafayel’s shirt off, then took a moment to admire his body. His boyfriend wasn't exactly buff, but he had a body worthy of a lot of envy, and Xavier really couldn’t wrap his head around being ashamed of it. He took his own shirt off, then leaned in for another kiss.
Rafayel held him close, kissing back deeply. He rolled his hips up against Xavier’s. But Xavier put a hand on his hip to still him; he wanted to take his time studying every inch of Rafayel and getting too excited too soon would ruin that.
Xavier sat back on his heels and took in the sight of Rafayel sprawled across his bed. He looked a little breathless, but a quick glance down at his pants told Xavier he still hadn’t gotten him hard.
He gently lifted one of Rafayel’s hands to his mouth, pressing soft kisses to his palm. “I love your hands,” he told him quietly. “All the wonderful things they have created and all they do to me.” He kissed down to his wrist, then switched hands, kissing again from his palm to his wrist, then stopping to lick at his pulse point. He heard Rafayel take in a small breath.
“And your arms...” His lips slid up his forearm to the inside of his elbow where he nipped gently. “The way you hold me.” He took his time with his upper arm, his kisses firm and slow up to his shoulder. His hand sprawled across Rafayel’s chest, feeling each line of his body, stopping once to flick lightly at a nipple before moving down to his abs.
“I love the sounds you make when I play with your neck,” Xavier slid his tongue from his shoulder to his neck, then buried his face against his skin, sucking hard. Rafayel moaned quietly, tilting his head and pressing his hips up again despite Xavier’s hold on him. “You really like that huh?” Xavier bit his sensitive skin, pressing his hips down against Rafayel’s when he moaned again. He thought he could feel Rafayel getting slightly aroused, but only half hard at most.
“But your mouth,” Xavier kissed up his neck and chin, then hovered above his lips. “I love your mouth the most, every word you say, every kiss you give me.” He kissed him slowly, his tongue exploring freely. “Every time you’ve pleased me with this mouth. I want to please you, too.”
Rafayel opened his eyes to look up at him in concern, shaking his head.
“Whenever you let me,” Xavier added to soothe him. “I’m not rushing.”
When Rafayel still looked worried, he kissed him again. “Don’t think about that for now,” he suggested. “Just think about this.” His hand slid across Rafayel’s skin just above his waistband.
He kissed down Rafayel’s neck again, hoping to distract him from his thoughts. When he reached his chest he immediately took a nipple into his mouth, grazing his teeth against the sensitive skin. The small, strained sound of enjoyment let Xavier know he’d successfully pulled Rafayel’s mind around to more enjoyable things. He flicked his tongue against his nipple as his hands worked to unbutton Rafayel’s pants. When Rafayel started to shift his hips away, Xavier bit his nipple. Rafayel cried out quietly and didn’t try to stop Xavier again.
“I can’t understand how anyone wouldn’t love every inch of you if they could see you like this,” he said into the skin of his chest. He shifted to his other nipple as he tugged Rafayel’s pants down past his hips. He thought for a moment Rafayel would resist, but the younger man took a breath as though preparing himself and lifted his hips to help Xavier remove the garment.
Xavier could feel his heart racing in excitement. He’d never gotten this far with Rafayel before. But as he moved further down, his chest brushing against the front of Rafayel’s boxers, he stopped in surprise as he realized why. Rafayel was fully hard, and probably had been every time they’d played together, but Xavier could never tell because he was so small. Not that Xavier minded that, he found himself surprised to think. In fact they could have been having a lot more fun a lot sooner if Rafayel had just told him about this before.
He hadn’t realized how long he’d been paused in surprise until Rafayel was pulling away, face flushed. “Stop. I can’t...”
“No,” Xavier insisted, pressing Rafayel’s hips to the bed and lowering himself further to nuzzle the front of his boxers. “Please.”
Rafayel was still up on his elbows, looking down at Xavier with a combination if embarrassment and arousal. But he wasn’t trying to pull away anymore.
“This is why you’re shy?” Xavier asked quietly. He mouthed at the front of his boxers and released a hot breath against the cloth. Rafayel moaned. “Thought I’d... what? Laugh?”
Rafayel was still flushed red. He nodded. “People have before.”
Xavier pulled Rafayel’s boxers down. He had to admit he’d never seen someone so small - maybe a couple inches at most - but he wasn’t laughing. In fact he didn’t think he’d ever been so hard, seeing the effect he’d had on Rafayel, his little cock already leaking. He lapped up his precum with a flick of his tongue, and Rafayel shuddered and hissed out a breath.
“I’m not going to laugh at you, you look delicious,” he told Rafayel seriously. He finished removing Rafayel’s boxers and wrapped a hand around him. His grip completely engulfed him, and he found himself fascinated and aroused by that fact. He watched Rafayel’s face as he stroked him quickly. Rafayel looked like he could hardly believe all of this was happening, and he pressed up into Xavier’s hand with a small sound of want.
He leaned in again to swipe his tongue across Rafayel’s tip. Rafayel moaned out at that, and again louder when Xavier dropped his hand away to slide Rafayel into his mouth. He fit in easily, and Xavier hummed his pleasure at that fact, making Rafayel shudder.
But Xavier wasn’t done loving every part of Rafayel so he pulled away after only a few bobs of his head. Rafayel whimpered slightly in disappointment. Xavier only chuckled softly at the sound.
He kissed down his inner thigh. “I can’t wait for the chance to have these legs wrapped around my waist,” he told him as he moved to his other thigh, lips pressing just above his knee.
“Y-you can,” Rafayel managed out, still obviously shy about everything. Xavier looked up at him in surprise. “Tonight. If you want.”
Xavier’s cock twitched at the suggestion. “I want that,” he assured him. He traveled up his thigh, now biting gently at his skin. “I want to hear you moan,” He licked at the base of his cock. Rafayel gasped. “I want to make you come.” Rafayel whimpered, and the way Xavier’s zipper dug into his cock made him wince. He undid his pants to relieve some pressure.
He pulled Rafayel’s balls into his mouth, sucking lightly. Rafayel slid a hand into his hair and pressed slightly toward his mouth.
He freed his mouth again to ask, “You want me to make you come?”
Rafayel nodded, panting slightly as he waited for more.
Xavier brought a hand down to brush his fingertips against his hole. “Want to find out how it feels for me to fill you up?” He loved the flush across Rafayel’s cheeks as he nodded again, and he moved down to replace his fingertips with his tongue.
Rafayel let out a sound of surprise and pleasure that had Xavier rutting against the bed. He parted his ass cheeks to better access everything he wanted and ran the tip of his tongue in teasing circles around his hole. Rafayel’s hold on his hair tightened as he shifted toward his mouth again. Xavier pressed his tongue flat against Rafayel’s lapping at his sensitive skin eagerly. Rafayel was amazingly responsive, letting out a string of sounds that just served to encourage Xavier further.
He ran the tip of his tongue in a circle again, then pushed it into his body. He maintained that shallow depth for a few quick thrusts, then spread his cheeks further and plunged his tongue in as far as it would go. Rafayel didn’t bother trying to hold back his reactions, moaning and riding Xavier’s tongue hard. Keeping his tongue firm, he drove it into Rafayel over and over. The hand in Xavier’s hair gripped painfully, but Xavier couldn’t bring himself to care.
Rafayel ground his ass down against Xavier’s face almost desperately. “More, more,” he demanded, and Xavier complied, pulling his tongue free and sucking at his skin before licking around his hole again quickly.
“I want...” But Rafayel couldn’t, or wouldn’t, vocalize what it was he wanted. Xavier got the general idea, though, that he wanted something more, so he pulled away - Rafayel was quick to make a sound of displeasure - and settled between his legs again a few moments later holding a bottle of lubricant.
So far Rafayel had no issues with how fast they were moving along, but it occurred to him as he poured lubricant onto one of his fingers to say, “Tell me if you want me to stop, okay?”
Rafayel nodded, but his face said that Xavier wouldn’t have to worry about that.
Xavier ran his wet finger against Rafayel’s spit-slicked hole, then pressed it in as he took Rafayel into his mouth again. He could feel his tiny cock twitch in his mouth at the dual sensation, a choked sound escaping Rafayel. He hollowed out his cheeks and sucked hard as he fingered him, and Rafayel was just as responsive as before, seeming caught between pressing into Xavier’s mouth and pressing down against his finger.
Xavier knew Rafayel wanted more, but he took his time before adding another finger. Rafayel groaned at the stretch but didn’t seem put off. As Xavier pulled his mouth away, he curled his fingers and pressed forward until he found the soft bundle he was looking for. Rafayel obvious didn’t expect him to find it, moaning loudly and pressing down hard. Xavier licked up the side of his cock as he relentlessly stroked the spot. He pushed his fingers in harder, and Rafayel was practically sobbing, clutching the sheets hard.
“You ready for me?” Xavier breathed out, his hand slowing as he kicked his pants off and slid up to kiss Rafayel.
“Yes, please,” Rafayel gasped against his mouth.
Xavier was relieved that his very neglected cock would finally get a chance to join in. He carefully withdrew his fingers, and kissed Rafayel as he filled his palm with lubricant and stroked it onto himself. He exhaled heavily at the sensation of relief.
When he pulled from the kiss, he could see that Rafayel was a little worried, though he tried not to show it. To help ease his mind, he quietly told him, “If you thought all that felt good, wait til you get to feel me.” That seemed to help, and Rafayel offered a crooked smile as he spread his legs further.
Xavier pressed his tip against Rafayel, teasing a bit just to hear him let out a needy sound. Then he eased himself in, grunting lowly and holding still when Rafayel tightened around him. “Relax,” he murmured, brushing kisses along his cheek and chin.
Rafayel took a stuttering breath and made an effort to follow Xavier’s advice. When Xavier felt his muscles begin to loosen, he slowly pressed in further until he was completely buried, his moan matching Rafayel’s. “God you feel good,” he said into his neck, then sucked at his skin. His hope that the sensation would distract Rafayel seemed to work, and Rafayel lifted his legs to hook them behind Xavier’s thighs.
Xavier pulled out and thrust into Rafayel shallowly, meeting less resistance than before. He moaned lowly and Rafayel panted, his arms wrapping around Xavier’s neck. When Xavier thrust into him again, he earned a moan.
Xavier was slow but steady, letting Rafayel become more used to the feeling. But it wasn’t long before Rafayel was pressing impatiently into each thrust. “C’mon, you won’t break me, Xavier,” he managed out in a voice much smaller than the words.
Xavier wasn’t about to argue the point, immediately pulling out and thrusting in deeply. Rafayel moaned aloud and tightened his arms around Xavier. Xavier repeated the action, steadily building up speed as he realized Rafayel was enjoying every thrust. Rafayel tried to press up against Xavier but it didn’t take long for him to realize he couldn’t keep pace, so he held to him tightly and moaned out his pleasure as he let Xavier take complete control.
Having waited so many months for this, Xavier knew he wouldn’t last long. He thrust harder, pressing one of Rafayel’s thighs further back so he could slide in deeper.
Rafayel managed to get a hand between them and wrapped it around himself, stroking fast. Xavier could feel how short each stroke was and he could picture Rafayel’s tiny cock growing redder the closer he drove Rafayel toward his finish. The idea of it had him dragging Rafayel’s hips towards himself with each thrust hoping to push him over the edge.
Without warning, Rafayel arched up against Xavier, coming into his hand and crying out. Xavier grunted as Rafayel’s body gripped him hard. He pressed in faster, moaning loudly, until his own orgasm hit, hips pressing forward erratically.
Before he’d even finished weakly thrusting through his orgasm, Xavier was being pulled in by Rafayel for a kiss.
“You’re amazing,” Rafayel told Xavier between gasps for breath.
Xavier carefully pulled out of him and kissed him again to hide the dumb grin Rafayel’s compliment had spread across his face. “Thank you for trusting me.”
Rafayel just pulled him down beside him on the bed and wrapped their bodies together, glad he’d chosen the right person to trust.