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"Mama!", a voice called behind Mary. She turned to see her 4 year old son Luca standing in front of his older sister,who was eleven, Livi. Mary smiled at her children,thinking about her own time as a child. Through the door came her husband Marcus,he smiled at her but there was a look on his face that told Mary ´I got news´.
"Why don´t you two go play outside? I´ll make you hot chocalete afterwards.", with that the two kids stormed outside,laughing and joking about stuff Mary will never understand again. She would´ve understand when she was a kid,but now she just didn´t.
"Whats up?", she asked,looking at Marcus. She felt guilty about it,but evrytime she looked at her husband she thought about Lily Evans-Potter,the love of her life. It is a shame that she would never see her again,that they never got to to all these things they dreamed about when they were at hogwarts. They never got to go on that holiday they always talked about,and they never will.
Marcus sighed,he knew exactly what was going on in the mind of his wife. He also knew exactly that no matter how much he loved her,how much she loved him,how often they told eachother that,how happy they were that a little part of Mary would always scream for Lily. And that was her heart.
"She got the letter,to your magic school.",he explained. Mary stared at him,it never occured to her that her kids would go to Hogwarts one day. Marcus was a muggle and even though she told him about magic and everything she never would´ve thought it would play a role in her life again. She did have many good memories to hogwarts and magic,but just more bad ones. The death of most of her friends played a huge part in that. Suddenly Mary wondered what her living friends did now,it was 17 years ago that Sirius betrayed them all and James and Lily died. WAs he out of Azkaban? What about Remus? Ofcourse Mary knew how inlove these two were and how much it must be on Remus,it all. His boyfriend,the love of his life,betraying everyone.
"Hogwarts..", Mary heard herself mumble,the memories to this place were overwhelming her. Then she tought about someone she hadn´t thought about in along time. What had happened to Harry? He must be 18 by now,was he still alive? Did he go to hogwarts? Did he have a good time their? She felt guilty for not taking him in but she just couldn´t,she couldn´t see Lilys eyes everyday and act like there was nothing between them. It was impossible.
And that´s how she found herself walking through shops,buyoing magical supplies for her daughter,just like her mother had done it with her all these years ago.
"I still don´t understand this whole Hogwarts thing,mama. Tell me more about it.", her daughter demanded.
So she did.
"You see,way before me and your father knew each other, I had this friend group,they were the best people alive, I´m sure you will find just as amazing friends. We were three girls and four boys. Marlene and Lily were the names of the girls and Sirius,James,Remus and Peter were the names of the Boys. Me and Lily were best friends and even a little bit more for a time.",it was very important to her to teach her kids that being gay was okay,that they didn´t have to hide.
"But then around 7th year,Lily and James fell in love,they were sweet together,it´s true. They were the dream couple. Remus and Sirius fell in love too,it was cute. Love was in the air. Lily and James even got married and had a kid,harry Potter. We all were happy,before this tragedy happended. Sirius black betrayed us all. It was in the wizarding war where he told Voldemord,that was the enemie,where James and Lily hid and got them killed. he went to Azkaban for that one. Harry lived as far as I know. But all our lives were torn apart. Sirius also killed Peter. So there we were robbed three friends at once,and if that wasn´t enough one of our closest friends was the reason behind it all. I guess the black family will always be in you."
Livi stared at her in shock,then laughed. "Your storys never have an happy end,mama. Whats about that?",she joked. Mary smiled,Oh livi,she thought,no story ever has an happy end. But she wouldnt tell her daughter that. She wouldn´t tell that innocent soul that.
It was the end of the summer holidays today, tommorow she would stand at platform 9 3/4 waving goodbye to her little Livi. Oh how much she would give to relive the feeling of boarding the train for the first time. Mary layed awake that night,thinking. She couldn´t sleep,everytime she closed her eyes she was reminded of all the pain hogwarts caused her,all the pain the war caused her. The feeling of happiness went away,she was to afraid that her daughter would have to go trough the same pain? Who knew,she shut herself off from the wizarding world since the accident,she had now idea what was going on. And she missed Lily. It was nights like these where Lily used to crawl into her bed at night,hugging her,cuddling with her. But now there was no Lily,and there would be no Lily ever again.
"She´ll be fine.",Marcus said beside her. Mary made a ´huh´ sound,turning to look at him. He still had his eyes closed but his head was turned to her.
"You´re thinking about Livi,aren´t you? And I´m telling you that she´ll be fine. She´ll make a lot of friends and will have a great time at this magic school. No need to worry,now sleep."
Mary looked at him a little longer,oh if he just knew that this wasn´t about Livi at all. It would never be.
"You´ll be fine.",she repated the words of her husband to her daughter,hugging her one last time before finally letting her on the train.
After waving goodbye Mary turned, ready to head back home,when she saw a strain of red hair she would have recognised anywhere. So she did the only reasonable thing: She followed his Person.
"Lily.",she breathed. Mary couldn´t say anything other than that,staring at her best friend that should have been dead. They were in a forest,Mary had no idea why she followed her this far,it could have been anyone. And it for sure could not been Lily,Lily was dead.
"Mary!",fake Lily cried out as she flung her arms around the other girl,hugging her thightly. Mary did nothing,she didn´t move,in fact she didn´t even breathe.
"Who are you?",Mary did not intent to ask but she couldn´t help herslf.
"What do you mean?I´m Lily,your best friend."
"No,no you aren´t. Lily is dead."
At that,fake Lily started laughing. It was a sound Mary has missed so so much and she couldn´t belive how much it sounded like the laugh of the real Lily. What Lily drugs did this person take?
"Sorry.. it´s just that- No,I´m not dead and I never was,Mary. I escaped. But I stayed hidden so that Voldemord wouldn´t come after me again. I was the one who dropped Harry off by my sister. It wasn´t Dumbledore,though I have to say it was his idea. You have to believe me,I´m sorry Mary."
Mary still did not move,how could this be? Lily was alive and she didn´t thought to say something? To tell her anything? To come by once in 17 years? But Mary couldn´t bring herself to say anything,not to Lily. Instead she broke all her morals of a healthy marrige and kissed her. And Lily kissed back. For a moment it felt like the world stood still,it felt like there were only Mary und Lily. Lily and Mary. Wich technically was true,considering that they were in a forest.
The kiss was sweet,Lilys lips still tasted like they had all these years ago,sweet, a little bit like honey. They were sweet but they could also be rough,really rough and possive. Mary knew that good,oh how good Mary knew that. The amont of times she got to feel that in the night when Lily crawled into her bed right after some random guy flirted with her,demanding that Mary´s hers. And Mary was. She was Lilys. And she still is,she always will be.
They broke away after a time to catch their breaths but reconnected their lips after a few seconds. Mary almost felt like her breath was cut when her lips weren´t connected Lily´s than the other way around. And at this moment Mary didn´t care how much she did wrong right now,she didn´t care that she cheated at her husband right at this moment. Because it was Lily who she was cheating with.
"I missed you.",Mary said,looking up to meet Lilys green eyes. She allowed herself to get lost in them like she did so many times before. They were a few seconds of silence where only their shaky breaths could be heard,Mary almost thought she had said something wrong.
"I know.",Lily finally answered. Now Mary was sure she had said something wrong. Mary swallowed,looking at Lily.
"I missed you two."
They smiled and hugged,oh how much Mary had missed her.
They decided to catch up,walking together back to Marys home. Mary told Lily all about her family and Marcus and Lily listened It felt just like the old times. But Mary couldn´t help but notice how odd People stared at her the whole way back,what was wrong with two girls talking.
"Marcus!I´m home!",Mary called into the flat,waiting till called came out of the living room to hug her.
"Look who I brought!Lily! I know I thought she was dead but she is actually alive,it´s great!",Mary was so happy und gestured wildly to Lily who smiled politely.Marcus looked at her like she was mental.
"Oh no..not this again. Come on Mary,we got to get you to the-",he made a step towards Mary,reaching out to grab her.
"No!Stay away from me!",Mary screamed. It escalated quickly.
Marcus tried to grab her again und Lily stpped in,shoving him off Mary. But it didn´t work,he dried again. The next events happened so fast Mary could barely remember. All she knew was that Marcus hit Lily and she fell. Then she was gone. Everything infront of Mary went black,she blacked out.
When she opened her eyes again,Mary didn´t know where she was. She looked around. Marcus sat in the corner of a room that looked like a hospital room to Mary. What the fuck?
"What-",Mary started but then a doctor walked in.
"Oh Honey.",a woman said,she looked like she was in her mid 20s, with a drop of sadness in her voice,"You imagined she lived again."
Suddenly Mary knew where she was,she knew this place all to well. The psychiatry.
It was hard on Mary to know she imagined that Lily still lived,but at least now she knew why everyone was looking weird at her. She was talking with the air. She was kissing the air.
Mary looked down. The water of the river looked so inviting and she could´ve sworn she saw Lily down there,screaming at her to get in. So she did,one final step and she was off the cliff, jumping 50 meters down. At least now she and Lily would be together forever,right? They would finally get a happy end.
Mary hid the water and knew that Lily was waiting for her on the other side. She died with a smile.
The other side wasn‘t as romantic.
It was Mary‘s worst nightmare.
There were Lily and James,kissing. Mary closed her eyes again,wishing she would be alive again.
Them she realised: She would never be happy,she wasn‘t made for happy endings.