Chapter Text
There was so much noise, ringing, breaking and screaming filling the now messy living room.
Hands destroying furniture, breaking glass and throwing things to the wall to dent the wall and break more shit.
His hands were shaking as the young adult gripped at the couch cushions, biting into it and tearing it off with his teeth.
He just wanted to get rid of this anger he feels inside of him. It felt like a forest fire, being contained inside for so long and finally consuming him in flames and smoke.
He clawed at the stupid ugly carpet he never liked, pulling at the curtains and tearing them apart, not giving a shit if the neighbors saw him at this time.
At some point he started yelling and punching the floor, what was he yelling? He doesn’t know nor gives a shit. Probably cussing out the people who hurt him in the past.
After the fire died down in his heart and mind, leaving a forest of ash and the smell of burnt trees. He curled into himself, the tears falling down his face as he bit his lip to contain the hiccups and pained grunts that was coming down at him at full blast.
His knuckles and knees hurt because of the broken glass on the floor. His breath hitched as he uncurled himself to shakily wipe the tears away from his cheeks, only causing him to smear blood on his cheek and feel a burning sensation on his knuckles.
God, this living room was a mess. If he had reacted the way he did while he was-
“Shut up.”
He doesn’t want to hear these thoughts again. He’s tired and in pain. He doesn’t want to deal with that can of worms again.
He winces as he tries to stand up, his bare feet feeling the broken glass poking and digging at the soles of his feet.
His breath hitches as he just pushes through the pain and tries to walk out of the living room until his ears perked up, hearing a voice calling to him.
His blood runs cold as he suddenly remembers that his friend was coming over.
“F..fuck..-“
“Ren! Re-..n?”
Ren’s tail twitches as he looks at the floor in shame, he doesn’t want to look at his friend’s face right now.
He doesn’t want to feel the guilt and disappointment from his friend after he promised his friend he wouldn’t hurt himself.
How…did Ren not even notice he was coming over? The younger boy was a very loud kid so he doesn’t understand how he could miss his voice calling to him…maybe he was too angry to hear or listen to anything properly.
Ren flinched as he felt hands lifting up his own to inspect the damage he’s done to his knuckles.
He can feel himself trying to make himself smaller and his being tail tucked between his legs. He feels pathetic, like when he was nineteen and scared for his life after he had done something wrong that could cause him to go back to that fucking basement ag-
Ren’s let out a quiet gasp as he felt a warm embrace holding onto him in a tight hug.
Why…is he being hugged? He…he fucked up. He fucked up so, so bad.
Why isn’t he being punished for it? He broke a promise and he knows how much promises mean to his friend but he’s…he’s not leaving him for breaking it…
“Why…aren’t you..”
“Ren…please. It’s okay…I’m not mad. It- it happens. I’m not disappointed at you for bottling it for so long and taking it out when you couldn’t contain it anymore.”
Ren’s ears flatten against his head as he shakily hugs his friend back and silently cries onto his shoulder.
Ren doesn’t remember the last time when he felt a comforting embrace when he was upset.
This felt so unfamiliar yet he welcomed it.
After a few more minutes Ren slowly pulled away from the hug
“I..I’m okay now..t..thank you, Kalim-“
Ren hissed in pain again at the burning sensation on his knuckles after trying to wipe his tears away, the other seemed to be even more worried as he looked at the older boy’s knuckles.
“Ahh! Are you hurt?- Wait, shoot- that’s a really stupid question. Of course you’re hurt I ju-“
“Kalim, please calm down.”
Both the two turned towards the dark haired teen who was holding a first aid kit.
Ren glanced away from the other boy. He knew this was Kalim’s other friend but…god they have such a tense atmosphere when near each other.
“Oh! Thank you, Jamil! Now w-“
“Kalim. You know better than to do it yourself. You should let me handle it.”
Ren flexes his hand as his tail sways a bit, he doesn’t really understand why Jamil keeps doing things he doesn’t like doing.
Ren over heard the young teen once, how he hates doing everything for Kalim and how he was so useless with everything.
Has Jamil even considered teaching Kalim shit?
Ren may or may not have taken it upon himself to teach Kalim some things when Jamil didn’t come with Kalim.
“Mister Hana.”
Ren blinks as he stares at Jamil, and mentally cringes at the very formal way he addresses ren, it makes him feel so fucking old when he’s literally only twenty one! It’s so weird!
“Uh…y..yes?”
“Come with me to the kitchen. I’ll patch up your knuckles and knees, then we can clean the living room”
Ren awkwardly nods as he follows after Jamil, feeling Kalim follow after both of them to the kitchen to patch up Ren’s stupid mistake.
[bonus page]
As Ren, Jamil, and Kalim cleaned the living room with brooms and trash cans after Jamil had patched up Ren’s knuckles and knees, Kalim seemed to hesitate on something before slowly shuffling closer to Ren.
“Hey, Ren?”
Ren hummed in acknowledgment while he swept the shattered glass onto the dust pan, Kalim bit his lip for a moment before taking a deep breath.
“Uhm, this. Mess….I know you said it was because you were upset but…the reason you were upset…was it because of...him?”
Ren paused his sweeping and tightened his grip on the handle of the broom before slowly sighing.
There..really is no point in denying it…it’s not like Kalim is a stranger to this topic or anything.
In fact he knows Kalim had gone through something similar, multiple times.
“…Y..yeah.”
“Ah..okay. Was there…something that made you remember him?”
Ren blinks as he takes a deep breath.
“….I saw one of his..’home made’ videos with me in them. And. Yeah. It made me remember…things.”
Ren can still feel the phantom pain of the knife slicing against his skin and the horror he felt if this “stream” would be the last time he’d be seen alive.
The disgust he felt when he’d obey the commands str-…his captor would tell him to do just to keep him alive.
“….Ha. I suppose…I’m…slowly realizing he never…really meant all those things like ‘love’ and ‘protection’. He…was just a kidnapper who manipulated me to stay by his side.”
Ren can feel some water works again, his ears slowly perking up as he felt Kalim rub against his back.
“I know it’s hard, accepting that your kidnapper was just doing things for his own selfish desires. I want you to know it’s okay to feel angry or upset or anything else!”
Ren ponders for a moment before looking at Kalim and tilting his head
“I know you mentioned…you’ve been kidnapped multiple times but..have…you ever been..-?”
“Ah, no. While I am lucky enough to not gone through what you’ve experienced. I…was mostly a target of assassinations. Because of my father being who he is, and me being the eldest. Other family members have tried to take my spot in gaining his place after he’s gone.”
Ren can tell that this is also a very difficult topic for Kalim to come to terms with, Ren knows how much Kalim likes to smile and pretend what he went through was merely nothing, but when the other is being presented with going into detail, Ren guesses that Kalim is also realizing some things about his past trauma.
“….The people paid to kill me would just…leave me in a dark room to starve to death or would try attack me in alleyways. I was…really lucky enough to have survived through those experiences.”
Kalim fiddles with his fingers as he glances at Ren
“I…I also have been. Poisoned before…by family members…hence why…Jamil would taste test your food when he comes with…I-I know you don’t like it when that happens and I’ve told him not to since you don’t really…know my family and all I just-“
Ren pats Kalim on the head and gives him a small smile.
“It’s okay…going through certain things at a young age can…cause a few things in the long run..and…that’s okay. Both me and you are healing through this and..haha, well. I’m really glad that we became friends, Kalim.”
Kalim blinks before smiling happily at the young adult
“Yeah! Me too, ren.”
Jamil sighs as he pushes himself off the wall and walks back to the living room where both Ren and Kalim are at.
“Hey, are you two just going to stand there or continue cleaning?”
“Ah! Right..sorry, Jamil!!”
Ren’s tail twitches as he forces a smile towards the dark haired teen.
“Yeah. Sorry.”
Jamil sighs and all three of them return to clean in slight comfortable silence.