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Running his hand through his hair, Kaiser huffed at the sweat that clung to his fingers, a familiar wetness that sparked fond memories. His eyes sharpened into a glare as they settled on the man across from him. It was another day after an intense practice, the entire team working towards improving for their next game.
And yet, Ness seemed preoccupied, his gaze drifting aimlessly and his hands restless. The lack of concern for their upcoming match irritated Kaiser beyond all else, the blood in his veins running hot at just the sight of him.
To make matters worse, the asshole hadn't even bothered to remove his gloves once they entered the locker room.
What aggravated the situation further was that Ness hadn't always behaved like this. It was only about a month ago that this strange shift occurred. Initially, Kaiser brushed it off as just another facet of Ness's incompetence, but with each passing day, things only got worse.
The issue wasn't confined to the locker room either, whatever was going on had spilled over into their personal lives, Ness remaining distant even when there was no one else around. To say Kaiser was concerned would be an understatement, but expressing such openly was entirely out of the question.
Instead, Kaiser kept up a facade of normalcy, pretending that everything was okay between them. Ness would eventually come to him, ready to spill whatever was weighing on him with heavy tears in the corner of his eyes, and Kaiser would properly scold him then.
With a rough clearing of his throat, Kaiser interrupted Ness's train of thought, their eyes locking in a moment that left him vulnerable under Kaiser's devouring gaze. Kaiser ignored the slight buckling of Ness's knees, trying not to read too much into it.
"Are you taking care of dinner tonight, or shall we order takeout?" Kaiser stepped closer, consciously softening his expression once he noticed Ness's timid habit of clasping his hands behind his back.
It was a trivial inquiry, one that Kaiser couldn't give less of a shit about the answer to.
He would have eaten a bowl of rocks if it meant Ness would cease his foolish behavior. The question served merely as a means for him to gauge Ness's mental state without being overt with his intentions.
"O-oh, I was just going to…" Ness's voice trailed off, growing too faint for Kaiser to decipher what the full response was.
Not that it mattered.
The lack of urgency in Ness's reply was all the answer he needed.
"Don't worry about it," Kaiser snapped, the words escaping his mouth before he could temper his response. Snatching the towel from the bench below them, he averted his gaze from Ness, fixing his narrowed eyes on the showers in his place.
He couldn't recall the last time he had looked Ness in the eye before a month ago.
This was no different.
As Kaiser passed by, Ness took a swift turn in his direction, his mouth falling open, emitting a low, familiar whine. He was about to speak, and the last thing Kaiser wanted was to listen to whatever it was that he had to say.
"Kaiser, wait-" Ness began, his voice laced with abrupt panic, a tone he usually reserved for accepting harsh insults from Kaiser. Yet, Kaiser interrupted him, his command cutting through the words like a sharp blade: "Drop it."
Ness recoiled at Kaiser's order, his shoulders slowly falling into a slump as he reluctantly obeyed. Leaving him to watch as he walked off, Kaiser maintained a stoic facade until he entered the tiled room, the sound of running water providing a comforting distraction from the mess that was his mind.
Habitually stripping off his sweat-soaked uniform, he stepped under the warm spray of a shower head, letting the water pelt his tense muscles. Steam enveloping him, he allowed his nerves to calm without interruption.
The relief was only temporary, as he knew the unease that lingered in the back of his mind would eat away at him until he found a solution to what was to happen between him and Ness. All he could do for the time being was sigh heavily, shutting his eyes to run through possible explanations.
Was this what he and Ness were now? What did he do wrong?
There was no catalyst, not to his knowledge. Leading up to the change in Ness's behavior was the new year which the two of them had spent together following their usual routine of drinking and fucking the night away.
Soap ran down the lean muscles of his thighs to the dips of his calves as he scrubbed himself vigorously, washing off every touch from those black gloves that he could remember.
He'd do anything to rip them apart and expose the soft, slightly sweaty hands underneath. To feel them run along his back, leaving painful scratches despite repeated warnings in advance.
He'd do anything to have his Ness back.
The door slammed, pulling him from his thoughts as his gaze traveled up to see that he was alone, everyone else had finished up while he was lost in his own head.
It was only a matter of time before Ness would come in to shower, and the thought of facing him alone in that setting was unbearable. Kaiser couldn't predict whether he would be consumed by the heat or if his simmering rage would boil over.
Hurriedly gathering his belongings before anything could happen, Kaiser wrapped a towel around his waist and cautiously peered out the door to scan for Ness. To his luck, Ness seemed to have disappeared somewhere, giving him the chance to slip out unnoticed and hastily dress himself before leaving the locker room with feigned calmness.
As he walked in the parking lot, he wedged his hand into his bag, fingers fumbling for his keys, his mind a whirlwind of conflicting thoughts. He debated for a split second if he should turn around and give Ness a piece of his mind, whatever that would look like, but quickly pushed the thought away. Every attempt he made to find peace was interrupted by intrusive images of Ness, taunting him relentlessly.
“The fuck is wrong with me?” He scoffed quietly, dismissing the wild storm in his heart. Truly, he was behaving no better than a desperate teenage girl in the midst of her first heartbreak, except he and Ness weren’t exclusive, and their relationship wasn’t over. Was it?
During the entire drive home, Kaiser battled against his racing mind. Gripping the steering wheel tightly, he navigated the familiar streets, each turn heightening his sense of unease. For when he got back to his apartment, he knew there would be nothing but emptiness.
No insufferable television shows about magic that he had heard all but eighty times. No chatter over a mediocre dinner. No Ness.
Pushing the door open with a heavy sigh, Kaiser made his way to his bedroom after sliding out of his shoes and into a pair of his cheap slippers, leaving the more expensive pair on the rack where they belonged. Intentionally avoiding his living room, he passed the empty chairs where he and Ness had last sat together, tidying up his haircut and restoring fading blue tips back to their former vibrancy.
It felt like a lifetime ago, yet it had only been a short while since he had been in his own apartment. But without Ness on his heels, filling his ears with rambles about whatever nonsense caught his attention at the moment, everything felt off—as if the entire place had been subtly shifted off-center by just an inch or two.
Most of his time these days was spent at Ness's place, even in their moments of tension, the guest room provided him makeshift residence. It was vastly different from what was before him, an empty bed chilled with a breeze of loneliness designed just for him. Sucking in a sharp breath and sliding underneath the covers, he found himself immediately regretting his decision to return to this place.
Once warm with Ness's presence, the sheets now lay cool against his skin, a stark reminder of the absence that filled the apartment. Stretching out on the bed and closing his eyes, he attempted to fall asleep, putting the day and these thoughts behind him.
The night wore on, Kaiser tussling in bed and groaning as if he were in physical pain. The mental anguish of sleeping without Ness in his arms and the soreness in his muscles from practice combined to suck all of the energy out of him, but every time he closed his eyes he couldn’t will himself to fall asleep.
Everything in Kaiser wanted to reach out for his phone and dial that number he knew by heart. What did he want to say? He didn’t know, but he knew he’d find a way to get to Ness somehow. The distance between them put a strain on his heart that almost broke him.
With a soft sigh, Kaiser rolled over to wedge his pillow between his arms and legs, questioning what the hell he was thinking. “When did I become so needy?” he muttered to himself, the question hanging heavy in the stillness of the lonely night. Glancing at the clock on his nightstand, he noted the time: 3 AM. Closing his eyes softly, he made a silent pact with himself. He would call Ness in the morning, demand he come over, and explain what was wrong with him. Then they’d go back to normal.
Everything would be okay again.
The declaration brought Kaiser some sense of comfort, easing the turmoil in his mind just long enough for him to succumb to sleep. Yet, even as he drifted into slumber, his rest remained troubled, his body tousling about in bed. Ness's presence invaded his dreams. He couldn’t escape him, even in the realm of unconsciousness.
It started with his voice, bubbling with excitement, chanting his name like a sworn mantra. Then, a hand grasping his own, the familiar tight grip sending shivers down his spine. Kaiser could recognize that touch anywhere, vividly recalling moments of intimacy between them—instances where he'd push Ness to his limits only to tenderly bring him back down again.
He had convinced himself that he was beyond delusions, but as Ness’s touch lingered, brushing against his shoulder, it felt undeniably real. The sound of Ness's voice grew louder, calling Kaiser's name with a tinge of panic that jolted him awake.
Startled, Kaiser shot up, his eyes flying open to see Ness jumping back in surprise. Ness reacted instinctively, raising his hands in a defensive stance as if anticipating a blow while quickly pleading his case, "You were sleeping hard! I got worried. It’s almost noon."
It took Kaiser a few more blinks to wake up, his eyes narrowing at Ness once he finally came to his senses. Not only had Ness entered his apartment without permission, but he had also disrupted his slumber—both by waking him up and infiltrating his dreams.
“I hardly got any sleep, Ness—" Kaiser began to scold him, but his words trailed off abruptly as his eyes found Ness’s hands, his mouth snapping shut.
They were laid bare, no gloves in sight.
Kaiser drank up the sight like a starved man, scanning every detail and noting the abundance of callouses and shallow pricks that adorned the tips of Ness’s fingers, particularly on his left hand. Questions stirred within him, eager to rush out, but before he could speak a single one, his attention was drawn to what Ness held in those scarred hands—a knitted bear.
His eyebrow quirked at the sight, his interest piqued but tinged with a hint of skepticism. Ness must have noticed the shift in Kaiser's demeanor because he immediately rushed to explain, his words tumbling out in a flurry: “It’s a gift I made for you, Kaiser. By hand!”
All of the fear in Ness’s voice was gone, replaced with excitement, as he offered the bear up with a slight shove so Kaiser could get a better look at it. The dark magenta wool designed to resemble fur pleasantly contrasted the white accents adorning its paw pads.
Kaiser sighed, glancing up at Ness again, who returned his gaze with a wide smile, radiating a pride that surpassed anything he’d seen during their time on the field together.
Doing a double-take, Kaiser studied the bear once more, noticing that the 'V' shaped smile woven onto its face bore a striking resemblance to Ness's own grin. Heart swelling with a mix of confusion and affection, he reached out to touch the bear, a silent question hanging in the air.
“It’s Valentine’s Day,” Ness answered, gesturing towards the calendar on the wall that was still on the page for January. Kaiser couldn't recall the last time he'd paid attention to it, the days blurring together ever since Ness began growing distant from him.
"Ah, so you wore your gloves and couldn’t talk to me because you were making me a present," he remarked, his voice tinged with a hint of spite as he took the bear in his hands to examine it closely. It was difficult to maintain an attitude when Ness looked so satisfied with his acceptance of the gift.
Ness slid into the bed next to him without hesitation, and Kaiser permitted it just this once, his attention still fixed on the project he held. “Yes,” Ness muttered apologetically, “I didn’t want to spoil the surprise. But I think it was worth it.” Even as he asked Kaiser for forgiveness, he couldn't hide the glee in his expression while watching him inspect his handiwork.
Silently, Kaiser scrutinized the bear one final time, rotating it to examine every angle. The knitting was undeniably well done, with no noticeable mistakes at first glance—an impressive feat considering Ness had only started the project less than a month ago. It was clear that this was something Ness was proud of, and it possessed a peculiar charm that he just couldn’t put into words.
“I suppose,” Kaiser huffed, his gaze finally meeting Ness’s anticipation-filled eyes that lit up after his admission. Ness opened his mouth to say something but closed it, only letting out a soft squeak of joy.
This was the part where Kaiser would usually tell Ness to calm down, chiding him for being foolishly excited over a half-assed compliment so early in the morning. But for some reason, he didn’t have it in him that day.
Rubbing his eyes with the back of his wrists, he further awakened himself and cleared his throat, leaning towards Ness's face as if he intended to kiss him. Ness caught on quickly, his cheeks flushing as his eyelids fluttered shut.
A moment of hesitation struck Kaiser, causing him to pause just before their lips met. His focus was fixated on Ness’s failed attempt at relaxation, the nervous tapping of his fingers against the cover beside them louder than both of their breathing combined.
He considered yielding for a moment, that lonely serving as a reminder of the possible consequences of his actions if he continued down this path. He needed to be more careful with Ness. For even if Ness would never admit it, there were limits to what he could tolerate. Deep down, he knew that if he ever lost control and went too far, Ness would have every right to leave him.
It was a harsh truth that Kaiser had been avoiding, but he couldn't ignore it any longer. The break had also taught him something else—that he was undeniably reliant on Ness. Whether this dependence was a good thing or not, Kaiser wasn't sure. All he could focus on at that moment was Ness's flushed face, eagerly awaiting their first kiss after what felt like an eternity.
“Hmmm,” Kaiser hummed, tilting his head to the side before leaning in.
“Ah!” A yelp ripped through the room as Ness moved to hold his hands over his nose. The bridge of his nose bore the imprint of teeth from a bite, a not-so-gentle reminder of the message that followed.
Kaiser pulled back, snatching the knitted bear before retreating under the covers. “Leave me to sleep alone again, and I’ll draw blood,” he scowled, clutching the bear to his chest as his eyes fell closed.
The official start of being nicer to Ness would have to wait until after he finished his rest.