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It is later than you would have wished for when you finally shut the door behind you and bar the rest of the world from entering. Immediately you feel exhaustion crash through your body like a tidal wave, filling your limbs with lead and igniting the wish to collapse right here on the ground to just sleep. Preferably forever.
There has been no stopping. Not even once. Not for a single moment. From the balmy heat and colourful flora of Thavnair you went straight to snow covered and hostile to the core Garlemald. You fought imperials, saved people under the influence of mysterious radio waves, lost your body to your self proclaimed nemesis Zenos, reclaimed it and fought former emperor Varis turned primal. You saw way too many dead and dying civilians, people disillusioned from endless war and not daring to hope for a future, much less a better one.
And then. Then you went to the moon.
The moon.
You met an ancient being in a tower, fought Zodiark himself and came out the other end miraculously victorious. Then you met the cuddly beings now known as Loporrits and learned about their quest to build a ship great enough to house the whole of Etheirys. Save it. From the Final Days, as the Forum so unabashedly has proclaimed just mere hours before.
And now you stand here in your room at the Baldesion Annex, truly alone for the first time in days. Or is it weeks already? You don't know. Your sense of time has been warped beyond recognition, days bleeding into each other with fight after fight, nights always too short to find even a semblance of rest.
You are exhausted. Stretched thin as paper and this close to crumbling into tiny little pieces.
But you can't.
Not now.
Not yet with the fate of the world hanging by a thread.
You are the Warrior of Light, you are the beacon in the night, the only hope Etheirys still has to prevent it from falling into certain doom. The fate of the world and its inhabitants weighs heavy on your shoulders and you cannot back down. Cannot break. Cannot give up. Must not.
Steps heavy, you make your way through the room. It's cosy. Inviting. Despite the cold marble lining the floor and walls. There are plush rugs, wooden furniture and a very large, very inviting looking bed. Books and other paraphernalia are cluttered around the room, maps and diagrams on the walls, some plants in the corners. In one of those corners right by the window, a partition separates a big ceramic tub from the rest of the room where a steaming bath is waiting for you.
It all looks lived in, but clean. You walk past everything though, making straight for the large window, ripping open the shutters and a sigh leaves your lips as the cool night air rushes into the room, caressing your heated cheeks.
It's nice.
Quiet.
The calm before the storm.
Your room faces the back of the building with only evergreen trees scattered across the hills the city has been built on. Here and there you can see some of the other buildings peek through, warm light falling through the windows and into the night.
For now, you decide you would enjoy this evening as much as you could. Take that bath. Get some food. Sleep. As long as possible. As long as the world would let you.
Your gaze drifts up into the clear sky where high above the treetops sits the moon. Full and round and proud like a goddess. Hydaelin's legacy. Not actually a moon, but a safe haven for all the peoples of this planet. It still hasn't quite settled that you went there. Fought there. Learned. And that it isn't actually a moon but a giant ship.
Your perception flickers. You blink but it won't go away and suddenly, your head starts pounding. And there it is again. That vision. The sky turns blood red in an instant, the moon a giant ball of flame, like Dalamud reincarnated. Fire rains down from the heavens and you feel fear creeping through every ilm of your body.
It's gone as quick as it has arrived. You blink again and in an instant, everything is back to normal, the sky a velvety midnight blue dotted with sparkling stars surrounding the bright yellow disk that is the moon. Calm. Not even the headache remains.
You try not to dwell on it. Usually your visions connected to the Echo have always been about the past. Never the future. You hope it is the same thing this time around, but you wouldn't bet on it.
A knock at the door rips you out of your spiralling thoughts and for a moment you contemplate not answering. Pretending to already be fast asleep, dead to the world. But still, it could be someone you actually want to see. A certain someone you didn't have any time alone with since that fateful night in Thavnair. Someone you were actually quite desperate to spend some time with.
Warmth creeps into your cheeks and into your chest at the mere thought of what transpired that night. Estinien and his hands and lips and body. His gentle words and soft eyes. Those wonderful sensations he managed to coax out of your body. The memory has kept you sane through this whole ordeal, giving you a reason to continue. Because you know that at the end of it all, he will be waiting for you.
Another knock, this time a bit more persistent. You shake your head, banish the pleasant imagery that has carried you through many nights and days. Estinien would break the door down if he has to. He proved before to have both the skill and mindset.
"Coming!"
Quickly you walk over, your bare feet almost noiseless on the carpeted floor. And when you open the door your heart skips a beat when you find Estinien standing there, hand raised in another attempt to knock.
You can't help yourself. You feel your cheeks lift, a smile slipping over your features, your chest warming at the mere sight of him, standing in the doorway in comfortable clothes and his hair down. He's wearing that beautiful light blue shirt that leaves so much of his smooth chest exposed and those unbearably tight leather pants. You want to stare, you can't help it.
"Hello," you say instead, sounding a little breathless and you would be embarrassed if it were anyone else. But not him.
"Hello," he echoes with a small smile and the fondness in his eyes has your insides melt. His gaze flits into the room behind you for a moment then back to you. "You're alone… Good."
"Of course I'm alone, silly man," you say with a small giggle you just can't suppress and gently pull him into the room, hooking your finger where the deep neckline of his shirt meets. He doesn't resist, steps inside and closes the door behind him.
"You never know," he says, looking just a bit exasperated. "I had to make my escape after the twins barged into my chambers unannounced and started bickering about snacks and plans and… twin-things."
You laugh, splaying your fingers across the exposed expanse of his chest. The skin is warm and smooth and only now you truly notice how much you have missed his presence.
"And you thought to seek refuge with me, I feel honoured," you say even if every cell in your body demands you kiss him senseless right about now. But you wouldn't want to seem desperate. Right? Right.
Gently Estinien takes your hand that is still resting on his chest. He lifts it to his lips, places a soft kiss atop your fingertips and a shiver runs down your spine with how he looks at you. Eyes all soft with words unspoken.
"There is nowhere else I'd rather be right now."
It's an almost subconscious step you take towards him and Estinien immediately wraps his other hand across the small of your back, pulling you close enough to touch but still able to look at you.
"I will not pretend to understand this talk of ancient primals and the Final Days," he says, raising your hand that is still resting on his chest to his cheek, leaning into the touch. "But I trust you and your judgement and choose to believe in your cause. You and Alphinaud have my lance. Now and always. I just wanted you to know this."
His words fill you with a warmth that you have become all too familiar with in his presence. Not that you would ever have doubted Estinien's sentiments. He didn't need to say it, but it is nice that he did. Especially since being at the receiving end of his sincere words was still somewhat new. Something you could get used to, though.
Despite the fact that Estinien always seemed a bit gruff around Alphinaud, it was quite obvious to the trained eye that the older man cared deeply about the young Elezen. Like the brother he lost all those years ago to the wrath of Nidhogg's flames.
"Thank you," you say before you get lost in your own emotions yet again. "That means a lot to me. And to Alphinaud as well if you ever deign to tell him."
Estinien hums, kisses your palm.
"I probably will not," he then says, looking at you with mischief glittering in his piercing blue eyes. "The boy does not need me to encourage him even more to hang onto my coattails." You know he's not bothered by it. Quite the contrary.
"Also there is one thing he does not have that you own entirely." He steps a little closer, his hand wandering from the small of your back a bit further up, long fingers splayed upon the expanse, pulling you even closer.
You swallow. "And what is that?", you ask, even though you already know the answer.
He takes your hand from his cheek and puts it back to his chest, gently presses your palm flat to the exposed expanse of skin right above his heart. You feel its beat fluttering against your hand, fast and hard, just like your own.
"I meant it, when I said I would never let you out of my sight again," he says and you remember. Of course you do. Lying on the bed at the Inn in Yedlihamad, naked limbs tangled together, skin sweat slicked, bedsheets kicked down from the mattress. The fondness, the longing, the love you felt in that very moment.
"I am yours," Estinien says and leans down to drop his forehead against yours. "And I will follow you to the ends of the universe."
You don't know what to say. You couldn't get a word out even if you did. Your whole throat closes up with emotion threatening to burst through the surface and you're glad Estinien is holding you so tightly, because your knees are suddenly so weak you're not sure they would have held you upright.
"I'm glad that you're here," you finally manage to say and through half closed eyes you see the corner of his lips lift into a small smile. Suddenly you feel self conscious under his soft gaze, vulnerable. But safe. Loved.
You clear your throat.
"So…" you say, leaning back a little to properly look at him. "I wanted to take a bath. Would you… like to join me?"
You know he already bathed. You can smell it in the faint notes of soap Estinien uses, that still linger on his skin. And his hair is still a little damp in places. But you're desperate to get away from the door, away from your own heart beating way too fast in your chest. At your words he perks up.
"Of course," he says all too willingly and it has you giggling again. You find yourself doing that a lot whenever Estinien is close and being… well. Estinien.
He releases you from his grip when you take a step back, pointing to the secluded corner of the room where the bath is still waiting to be used. Sharlayan technologies never seemed to cease to amaze you as the water was let in a while ago but it is still pleasantly warm with no small amount of bubbles. And the thought of not having to climb into the tub alone, well, that puts a downright spring in your step.
Confidently you walk across the room towards the tub, Estinien following closeby, the soles of his leather boots barely audible on the marble floor. When you check the temperature of the water with your fingers, you feel his hands on your shoulders.
"It's exhausting, isn't it?", he asks and you pause.
"What do you mean?" You turn just enough to look at him, brows knitted together.
"Carrying the world on your shoulders, always being the person everyone falls back on. Being the only one able to solve the problem." His fingers gently squeeze your shoulders and your head drops forward when you feel his thumbs on your neck, gently massaging the tense muscle there. "The tales of your prowess are being carried across worlds. The people you saved, the countries you liberated. I know how it feels. I know how much of a burden it can be despite all the good you do."
His hands wander, down your arms and waist, untucking your loose tunic. He lifts the hem, slowly pulls the garment up your torso until you lift your arms so he can completely remove it.
"You saved Ishgard, my home." he says as he turns you around and makes you sit on the broad rim of the tub. Estinien doesn't look at you as he kneels down and removes your boots, then your pants until you sit in front of him in your smallclothes. Then his eyes meet yours. "You saved me ."
You open your mouth to protest, but he shakes his head.
"You did," he says, tugs off your socks and then rises up on his knees, inching a little closer. The rim of the tub is just low enough that he meets your eyes kneeling while you are still comfortably seated. "You saved my life. And while I was ready to give it up with the knowledge of having defeated Nidhogg, you were not. You and Alphinaud. You tossed those eyes off that bridge and my life has never been the same ever since."
He smiles again, opens your breastband with a practised flick of his fingers and drops it to the ground. The sincerity in his eyes makes your heart clench in the most beautiful way.
"He really does love you," you say and Estinien chuckles, removing your underpants with a fluid motion.
"I know," he says, warm fondness colouring his voice. He taps your legs and you swing them over the rim of the tub, slowly gliding into the warmth until you are fully engulfed by it. You still look at Estinien when you do, the familiar tightness in your throat back with a vengeance.
"I do, too," you then say, looking at him with eyes wide and a little uncertain. He tilts his head, not having quite understood what you meant. So you swallow around the lump in your throat, cheeks heating up, not only from the warmth of your bath. "Love you, I mean."
You notice the tips of his ears blushing the same beautiful pink as his cheeks and he averts his eyes, silver hair covering the side of his face. Still, you see the small smile on his lips. He doesn't say anything and he doesn't have to. You just know he mirrors the sentiment. You could feel it in the way he undressed you, touched you. Gently. The devotion in his eyes he couldn't put into words.
Estinien has always been a man of actions rather than words anyways.
You watch as he undresses, drops his clothes haphazardly onto the floor and climbs into the tub just moments later, smoothly sliding into the warmth of the water behind you. He immediately pulls you to his chest, arms wrapping around your torso. Your head falls against his shoulder and Estinien bends down to bury his nose into your neck.
You stay like this for what seems like a beautiful eternity. You can feel his heartbeat through his warm skin on your back, the rhythm now steady and powerful. He holds you tightly and you feel safe .
You don't know how long you stay like this, wrapped up in his embrace and so comfortable, you almost doze off. Then he moves. With gentle fingers he scoops up some water and begins washing your hair.
He hesitates for a moment, overwhelmed and confused by the array of products lined up on a wooden sideboard right by the tub. Usually you don't have much time for vanity. Not with the life you lead and not with the task at hand. But this time, you indulge. You point out the correct bottles in their proper order and Estinien dutifully works them into your scalp, the length of your hair, massages, rinses, untangles. Until your hair is soft and you know it will be shiny and beautiful when dry.
Afterwards, Estinien takes a sponge and some soap, lathers everything up and helps you wash up. His long arms reach around you and his hands glide across the skin of your arms and your shoulders, down your stomach and along your thighs. It's nice. It's comfortable. And quite innocent, considering you're naked in a tub, pressed together, skin on skin.
It doesn't really register at first. You feel far too boneless and pliant, far too comfortable and cosy. It's only when Estinien finally puts the sponge aside, his arm sliding around your torso again and his nose and lips nuzzling your neck.
"Let me take care of you tonight," he whispers into your skin, leaving a trail of kisses across the column of your throat. "Let me try and make you forget the world and its problems for just a few hours."
Your head drops back again, eyes closed as you feel his hand cup one of your breasts with clear intent.
"Yes," you whisper, a sigh right at the back of your throat when his palm gently caresses your nipple, hardening instantly under his ministrations. "Yes, please."
Estinien shifts you in his arms, just a little. Just so he can bend down and kiss you properly, his lips soft and warm on yours. One arm is still wrapped around you, holding you tightly in place while his free hand is slowly inching down your ribs, then your belly and your hips. He urges your legs apart just a little and your bent knees fall open to rest against his.
Anticipation builds low in your stomach, a creeping ache between your legs that only he manages to coax out into the open this quickly. You don't have time to marvel and wonder how he manages to do this with just a few kisses, just a few touches. Just him being him. But he does. You feel the familiar throb between your legs, wetness covered by the bathwater.
You also notice him getting hard, his length pressing against your bottom and the lower curve of your back. Still, his focus is on you and solely on you. He whispers your name against your lips in between kisses, fingers sliding lower, massaging the folds between your legs with just the right pressure that has you melt in his arms.
"Is that good?", he asks and his voice is husky and raw. It sends a shiver down your spine and you nod.
"Yes," you say and a small moan slips out from between your lips as his fingers deftly play with the swollen nub right at your core. "Yes, it's perfect."
You feel him smile against your lips and then revel in the feeling of his tongue in your mouth. It is heavenly. Your mind swims and thoughts tumble through your head, incoherent, blurry and absolutely irrelevant. Especially when he pushes two of his delectable fingers inside you, the slick wetness engulfing them immediately.
Again your head drops against Estinien's shoulder as your concentration is broken and you can't possibly focus on kissing him. Not when he's touching you like this, his name spilling over your lips in a pleased sigh when Estinien continues pumping his fingers in an almost painfully slow but perfect rhythm. He holds you tight, peppers the side of your face with kisses, continues down your throat where he leaves little bitemarks in his wake.
"Wait," you say after a while, breathless and you know you're close. But you can feel him against your back, rock hard and you know he must be aching. He immediately stills. You gently take his wrist, pull his fingers out, slowly. You enjoy it, oh yes, you do. Maybe a bit much. It takes all your willpower to not shove them back in and ride his hand until you come.
But there is something else you want to ride first.
You turn around to face him, drop a chaste kiss onto his lips, then make your way along his jaw.
"I want you, Estinien," you say, lips against his earlobe. You know they are sensitive. His beautiful ears are one of his weak spots. When you gently pull the soft flesh with your teeth, he lets out a whimper and by the gods , the sound goes straight between your legs. "Please."
He nods, swallows hard, you can see the bobbing of his throat. "Of course," he says. "Whatever you want."
He climbs out of the tub and picks up a towel, first for himself, then for you. He helps you step out without slipping as if you were something fragile. So at odds with who you really were underneath all the scars and the might. But to him, you were. Precious. It makes your heart swell in your chest.
He wraps you in one of the big and fluffy towels, then, in one fluid motion scoops you up into his arms. You squeal in delight when Estinien sweeps you off your feet and by the twelve, you love this man. You love him so much.
He carries you to the bed and sets you down gently, then takes the towel he had loosely wrapped around his hips and drops it to the ground. You watch him, marvelling.
Gods, what a beautiful man.
With all his scars and marks from battle. Bronze skin both rough and soft, his long hair soft and silver in the low light of the room and his eyes like the sky over Coerthas. His long and elegant limbs corded with lean muscle, giving him the lethal grace of a big feline predator.
"What?", he asks, an amused smile curling the side of his lips. You reach for his hands, tug him down so he can kneel at the side of the bed right where you are sitting. Immediately you reel him in, thighs wrapped around him.
"You're beautiful," you say, cupping his face and dropping soft kisses onto his lips. "You're so beautiful and I love you."
Again he doesn't say anything and again he doesn't have to. What he feels is very clear in the way he looks at you, eyes soft and almost unbearably gentle. He lifts you up again with your legs still wrapped around his hips, just to sit down at the edge of the bed again with you bracketing his hips. Your hands are on his shoulders, giving him a gentle push to lay back onto the mattress. He props himself up on his elbows watching your every move.
You wanted to tease him. Even if it was just a little. But you can't. Not when he's lying there, small droplets of water still dusted over his skin, glistening in the lamplight. You can feel him between your legs, hard and ready and you are too.
Oh, you are so ready.
Slowly you inch forward, dragging his length across your waiting entrance and it catches you both completely off guard. Estinien's eyes droop and he grips your thigh, long fingers digging into the supple flesh and you feel yourself getting impatient. With a few practised movements you line yourself up and push his length inside you in one smooth motion.
That alone manages to make your eyes fall shut and your head drop back. You missed this. His perfect length inside of you, filling you up oh so nicely. You hear him mutter your name under his breath and you manage to look at him with half lidded eyes.
His are clouding over with lust and you realise somewhere in the back of your mind, that he must have craved this just as much as you did. So you begin to move your hips in a steady rhythm, back and forth, back and forth.
Estinien drops back onto the mattress completely, silver hair fanning around his shoulders. His hands grip your hips, supporting your movements, spurring you on. Not that you needed it. Pleasure is building inside you at breakneck speed, already far gone from his ministrations in the tub and you can't stop the string of incoherent praise tumbling over your lips.
Estinien meets you from the bottom, hips gently pushing upwards with well timed thrusts and soon the air is filled with the sound of your gasps.
It doesn't take long and you tumble across the edge with a strangled moan, Estinien following closely behind you, his hips stuttering, fingers digging into the flesh of your thighs. He's not a very vocal one. When he comes, Estinien barely utters a groan. It's still almost unbearably hot when his head drops back, breath ragged with that beautiful throat of his all but exposed.
Something primal stirs in you. Wants to mark him up, show the world that he is yours.
But not now. Not now, when you are coming down from your high, basking in the afterglow.
"Good?" Estinien asks, a little breathless when you let yourself drop down on top of him, wrapping your arms around his neck and shoulders and burying your nose in his soft hair.
You don't say anything, just nod enthusiastically and you feel him chuckle, the motion rumbling through his chest. He wraps his arms around your back, holding you close.
"Do you want to sleep now?"
You find yourself shaking your head no. And it's without embarrassment that you are made aware by your own body that you are more than up for another round. Immediately or so it seems.
"Insatiable woman," Estinien says fondly, dropping a kiss to your temple. "Just allow me a moment. I'm afraid I am not quite as ready for round two as you are. But there is something else I want to do."
"Oh?" You prop yourself up on your elbow to look down at him. "What is it?"
Estinien has the gall to smirk and oh, does it look good on him. That wicked little glint in his eyes has that familiar heat pooling low in your belly yet again.
"If I remember correctly, I promised you something."
"You did?"
He nods. "I did."
Then it dawns on you. And you remember.
It was a jest at first. At least from your side. You remember telling him you had wanted to… sit on his gorgeous face from the moment you met him. Yes. Pretty much just like that. But now, with Estinien looking at you like he was ready to devour you it seemed a lot more like a serious offer. And with only a hint of actual embarrassment, you realise you would very much like that. A lot. Images push themselves to the forefront of your mind and you feel yourself blush.
"Then let me clean up first," you say, ready to get up, fully aware that he just came inside you mere moments ago, the stickiness between your legs the sole witness. But he grabs your hips.
"No need to," he says very close to your ear, voice suddenly a little hoarse, "I want to taste us on my tongue."
It is impossible to put into words how much that turns you on right in this moment. The way his voice drops low with that tiny little tremble that tells you exactly just how much he wants it.
"Oh, you nasty man," you say, both affectionately and unbearably horny. "You deplorable, nasty, impossibly beautiful man."
You kiss him again. And it has nothing of the gentle slowness from before. You want to show him how much you want him, you want to show him that you are his and he is yours. You want to show him that he's your world and you will save it so he can live.
"Come, my love," he whispers between kisses, his hands on your hips urging you upwards. "Time for me to make good on my promise."
Dutifully and with a pounding heart you inch your way upwards. You don't really know what to do with your hands, so you let them rest on your thighs. From your position you can't really see him, his face halfway vanishing between your legs, head bracketed by your thighs. You want to go slow, you want to give him time to adjust so you don't suffocate the man by accident. But Estinien is having none of that. He grips your hips and pulls you down in a fluid motion. You gasp at the sensation and you feel his tongue between your folds in an instant.
It is heavenly.
It is everything you imagined and more.
You're soaking wet again, ready to take him, ready to be pleased by his willing mouth and the thought alone of what he is doing turns your bloodstream into an electric current. With unsteady hands you grip your thighs, trying to not give into the instinct to grind yourself onto his face. It's difficult. It's difficult because it's so good. Because Estinien's tongue is just as skilled as you remember.
And of course it doesn't help that he seems to encourage you to move .
So you do. A pleased muffled moan reaches your ears when your hips begin grinding down and it makes it oh so much better. It takes a little longer this time around, your orgasm building slowly with every thrust and every lick of his tongue. But a quick glance over your shoulder confirms Estinien to be hard and ready again as well.
You wouldn't want to be unfair. Even though you know you are close and that he would probably enjoy it very much if you came while sitting on his face.
Still, you pause in your movements, gently tapping Estinien to the crown of his head. It's difficult to stop, but there is something you want more. Even though your thighs are shaking and you all but clench when you slide off him.
"What?" Estinien asks, quite breathless and it makes your insides tingle with how obvious it is that he enjoys this just as much as you do.
"This is very nice and all," you say, panting, feeling yourself clench again at the loss of friction. "But now it's time for you to come up and fuck me like you mean it."
It was meant to be a lighthearted jab to get Estinien up and chase his own pleasure as well. But at your words, his eyes darken.
"As you wish, my love."
You scuttle back to the head of the bed, watching him while Estinien quickly wipes his face with one of the discarded towels. You chuckle.
"A true gentleman," you say with a wink.
"I would not want this to get messier than necessary," he says while following you, crawling on top until his whole body covers yours. You react almost on instinct, wrapping your legs around his hips and your arms around his neck and shoulders, pressing yourself flush against the hard lines of his body.
This.
It is this that fills your heart with joy, makes your whole existence sing and insides dance. The simple things, the closeness. Just him on top of you.
Sensing the shift in your mood, Estinien slows down just enough. With your head still comfortably on the pillow, his lips find yours again in a slow and languid kiss. He savours it. Every touch of lips, every swipe of tongue. And his hands wander. Up your sides, cupping your breasts, gently massaging, his thumb teasing the little nub at its peak.
You arch into his touch with a content sigh and as if on command, he lines himself up with your entrance and slides in with another fluid motion.
"Estinien-" His name spills over your lips again and again, followed by a litany of praise and words too slurred to understand as his hips set an almost agonisingly slow and thorough rhythm. You feel his ragged breath against that sensitive spot right where your jaw meets your neck, hear him sigh against your skin and it's beautiful .
Without breaking his rhythm, Estinien sits up on his knees, pulling you closer by the hips. A particularly loud moan tumbles over your parted lips when he takes one of your legs, lifts it for better access and angles his hips just right, fuckin deeper and deeper into you until you swear you see stars.
He's still going maddeningly slow, building your climax one thrust at a time and somewhere in the back of your mind you know it will be spectacular. Even though you're impatient and ready and want to feel the world implode.
Suddenly, you feel his hips stutter, his impeccable pace getting uneven and a little sloppy. You open your eyes just a fraction and when you see him, eyes half lidded and clouded over with lust, a faint blush of pink dusted across his cheeks and to the tips of his ears, you feel it deep down in your core. A bead of sweat trickles down the side of his face, his neck, down his toned chest. His lips are parted, glistening red and spit slicked and a little swollen in the low light of the room.
You want to burn the image into your vision forever, try to take a mental image to keep in the forefront of your mind for when the two of you have to be apart again. Seeing him like this, with his defences down and giving his all to you, it fills you with a comfortable warmth you don't quite have words for.
Because calling this love would never ever be enough.
And it is no wonder that it doesn't take much longer until you come, galaxies exploding behind your closed eyelids and the sounds spilling over your lips all but unholy.
You don't care.
The whole world can hear you, let all of Sharlayan know.
While you ride out your orgasm with small gasps still sitting at the back of your throat, Estinien's head drops back and his whole body goes taut. He chokes out a sound when he comes that has your toes curl.
And then it all goes silent.
For a moment, time stands still. No Final Days, no despair. No universe to save, no primals to slay. Just you and him, basking in the afterglow.
"I'm afraid we might need another bath," Estinien says and you barely hear him through the pleasant fog that has spread throughout your mind. You see how your skin is covered with a gentle sheen of sweat. Not to speak of… other fluids in other places.
"Mhm, you might have a point there…"
Again he picks you up from the bed as if you weighed nothing more than a freshly hatched chocobo chick and you wrap his arms around his neck, pressing your nose into his silky hair that still smells so tantalisingly like him .
"You can't spoil me like this, I might get used to it," you sigh and close your eyes when he steps back into the tub that is still warm after all this time. Sharlayans and their technologies…
"I will spoil you as I please for you deserve it," he says firmly when he settles you back into the same position as before. "You deserve everything."
You lean back against his chest while he cleans you again, kisses peppering the wet skin on your arms and shoulders and wherever he can reach. You don't know what to say, don't know what to think as pure bliss seems to seep from the crown of your head and into the tips of your toes. Never in your life have you ever felt so loved and cared for, so adored. So precious.
Not the Warrior of Light or Darkness, not the Eikon Slayer. Not the saviour of worlds. Just you.
Usually there would be nothing left in you to go on. But Estinien has that absolutely magical effect on you where you just cannot get enough. So it doesn't take long for you to turn around again, the aching between your legs back with a vengeance.
"Still not enough?", he asks with an amused little smile that is betrayed by his own already growing erection. You cup his length, then stroke him to full hardness just to watch him unravel under your fingertips with endless delight.
"I can never get enough when it comes to you," you whisper before you kiss him again.
And you ask yourself when you mount him, ride him again, how any berries from faraway lands could ever compare to what you are feeling right now. With just him underneath you, gasping your name onto your lips while you move your hips to the rhythm of his heartbeat.
🌙🌙🌙
You sleep soundly for the first time in weeks. Nothing stirs you, no nightmares chase you. And Estinien holds you tightly against his warm body all through the night. When the first light of the morning trickles through the still open windows, you snuggle a little closer into his arms wrapped around you.
Last time you woke up alone. You remember the tinge of disappointment at finding the other side of the bed cold and empty. But you realised that Estinien might have needed the distance to sort out his feelings. To deal with the change in their dynamic. Their relationship. Having him here now, it is a progress you definitely welcomed.
Seeing him so comfortable with you gives you a special kind of confidence, for you know very well that Estinien cared deeply for the ones around him but was not the best to show it. For him displaying his affection so openly around you, well, it must be the highest kind of honour for you to receive.
His very own way of showing you his love.
You feel him stir after a while when he pulls you close, drops a kiss to the crown of your head.
"Good morning, my love," he says, voice still heavy with sleep and a little hoarse. Your chest aches for him and you don't quite know what to say, what to do or how to act.
"You're here," you mumble, bury your nose in his chest, the relaxed muscle soft and pliant and you can feel him chuckle, the low rumble vibrating beneath you.
"Of course I am. Why would I not be?"
You don't answer, just wrap your arms a little tighter around him.
"I wish we could stay like this forever," you say, eyes still closed while he runs idle fingers through your sleep tousled hair. "I wish the apocalypse would wait just a little longer."
But it doesn't. Especially not for the Warrior of Light.
You would have loved to stay in bed. Possibly for the whole day. Get some food brought up, nap a little more, fuck a little more. Feel his lips on yours and his words on your skin like fervent prayer.
Life has never been a god as merciful as this.
Because just when you are about to fall back asleep, there is a knock on your door. Urgent, this time.
"I'll get it," you say with an almost petulant whine. And it takes all the fight in your body to untangle your limbs from Estinien's, get up and wrap one of the bedsheets around your still very naked body.
"I'm coming," you call when the knocking grows more incessant and finally open the door with a very impatient "What?"
"Good morning to you too, doll." Thancred stands before you, arms crossed in front of his chest, all geared up and with the biggest, most shit eating grin under the sun. His eyes swiftly scan your appearance, the tousled hair, the sheet haphazardly wrapped around you and the very obvious love bites on your exposed shoulder and neck.
"What do you want?", you ask, squinting at him when he looks into the room behind you, seeing Estinien in all his naked glory sitting on the edge of the bed now.
"I want to congratulate you," he says and looks at you again. "It sounded like you had an absolutely fantastic night yet again while the rest of us tried to succumb to blissful slumber."
You groan, push at his shoulders. "Go away, Waters, not again !"
"No, really, I mean, I do not want my room to be next to yours every time we have to stop at an inn, but if this continues, I might have to either join in on the fun or borrow Estinien for myself, because…" He lets out a low and impressed sounding whistle. "The man seems to have skill beyond measure. At least considering the… vocal symphony chiming through my bedroom window."
Again, you groan, both mortified and annoyed at the very smug man in front of you.
"Forget it," you say, shove his shoulder again to get him to leave, but unfortunately, Thancred is a small fortress and pretty much unmovable. "The thought alone turns my loins into a scorching and dry desert…"
Thancred gasps, clutches his chest in feigned shock. "I'm hurt, doll. Have you never heard the tales of my own legendary prowess in bed?"
You snort out a laugh. "Yeah, the ones you yourself are so keen to recollect but never ever seem to be able to find a witness for." Thancred has the gall to laugh, but you only shake your head and pull the sheet around yourself tighter.
"Why are you really here?"
"Ah," Thancred says, sobering up in an instant, "that."
Apparently Krile called for the Scions. Urgent news from Thavnair, they are needed immediately.
"There is always something, isn't there…" you hear yourself mutter, getting ready for another catastrophe waiting at the end of the message.
"No rest for the wicked," Thancred says with a sympathetic smile. "Just be glad I dissuade Alphinaud from summoning you, poor boy might have been traumatised finding his glorious Warrior of Light and his even more glorious Ser Estinien having a good old romp in the sheets, doing ungodly things in the dark of the night."
Alphinaud's horrified face pops up before your inner eye and you have to suppress a laugh at the mere thought while all but beating Thancred out of the room.
"Away with you, fiend!"
You can hear Thancred cackle all the way down to the main hall.
You are a little disappointed when you turn around and find Estinien already dressed, lacing up one of his boots.
"I hate my life," you say without really meaning it while watching him button up his shirt. "I don't want to save the world anymore. They have to find someone else to do it…"
Estinien steps close and grabs your shoulders, then bends down to drop a kiss to your brow.
"You're not alone, love. I will stand by your side with my lance at the ready."
You smile up at him. "I know."
The kiss you share now is bittersweet with a splatter of melancholy and a small tinge of fear on your end. You watch him leave your room through the open window, because why would Estinien Varlineau leave a room like a normal person?
Still. You can't shake the feeling building low in your stomach. Worry.
You know he will put himself into harm's way, just like yourself. Fighting for your cause, side by side. And it scares you. Witless.
Of course, you are always scared for your friends when they are joining the frontlines by your side. You have lost too many people to not be aware of the risks they are all too willing to take to support you save the world yet again.
But this time… this time your heart is right there, wide open.
Estinien is a skilled warrior. A Dragoon like no other. As powerful as Haldtrath himself, maybe even more so. But still. You would face dangers beyond your comprehension. And maybe skill. You would do your damndest to protect him, but what if you couldn't?
You shake your head, get dressed and geared up, trying to shake those feelings of impending doom.
No.
You will not submit to fear. You will not submit to despair.
You are the Warrior of Light. And you will avert the Final Days with all your friends alive and well.
Maybe giving your heart away at the cusp of battle hasn't been the smartest idea. But who said that love was ever smart? Or rational? Or connected to good decisions?
But when you see Estinien a little later, standing in the main hall, leaning against a stack of crates with his arms crossed in front of his chest, dark armour clean and shiny and as spiky as you remember, his trusty lance strapped to his back, you know your heart chose right. Because when he raises his eyes to look at you, you know you can conquer anything .
Possibly even death itself.