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Ceroba had become quite the mess after Clover's death.
She had grown close to the child when the two of them travelled through Steamworks to get to the Lab, and although she had fought them for Chujin's legacy, she found that she never really wanted to hurt them. When they spared her, ending the fight peacefully, she cried and was willing to do whatever it took to protect them from then on. Though, when they looked at her after declaring what they wanted to do with their soul, she knew.
She could tell there would be nothing and no monster who would get in their way—their plan firm, their mind made up, and the way paved for justice. There was nothing anyone could've said to dissuade them from getting justice, even if it meant that their life would end as a result of that justice. So, hesitantly, she let them go. Though, she never truly let them go.
They reminded her too much of Kanako, their fiery passion and happy-go-lucky nature—their compassion. If their soul wasn't made of justice, it would've been made out of kindness instead. They were a ray of sunshine, sunshine that had just been smothered right before Ceroba's own eyes, similarly to Kanako—Ceroba's bright ray of sunshine.
Suffice to say Ceroba's depression had only worsened after Clover's death—after their sacrifice.
Luckily, she wasn't alone. She was never alone, because Starlo was there for her—like he had always been since they were kids. He stayed by her side when everyone else hadn't—couldn't. He cared for her, even when she didn't want him to. He stayed, even when she felt like a burden to him. He remained, even when all she could do was lay in bed and stare off into space. He'd sit beside her, telling her stories and tall tales no one, not even himself, believed.
She was grateful for him, even if she felt like she was weighing him down because he knew exactly how to cheer her up. He knew exactly how to distract her when she needed it the most. And even when nothing he did worked, he'd still reside himself to sit by her and share the silence, huddled in each other's embrace. Holding each other close, as if letting go meant losing the other forever.
Which is exactly what they're doing now.
Ceroba, tucked away in Starlo's hold as they stargaze—well, rock-gaze, but it was the closest thing they'd get down here. Neither had spoken in a while, the two of them only having shared a few words before they sat down in the patch of flowers—their previous words echoing quietly around them as they sat in a comfortable silence. Ceroba pressed her face closer to Starlo's chest and he squeezed her in closer.
Suddenly, the four-pointed star at the end of Starlo's tail lightly slapped the ground behind them—signalling to Ceroba that he had thought of something to say. "Oh, I think I just saw a shooting star! Make a wish, Ceroba!!"
She laughed, not pulling away from his hold as she teased, "You know there aren't any real stars up there, right?"
She could practically feel him pout against her as he whined, "C'mon, Ceroba, won't ya just play along?! Just—please? Just one wish!!"
She hummed, trying to think of something that wouldn't ruin the moment but came up empty, "I don't have a wish, Star. Why don't you make one?"
He paused, letting the flowers echo around them for a moment, then softly said, "Hmmm, if I say my wish... You promise you won't laugh at me?"
"Of course, I won't laugh!" She said, smiling up at him, even though she knew he couldn't see her from where she was pressed into his chest.
Starlo sighed, once again letting the area fall silent—aside from the echoing flowers. After a moment, he added, "Someday, I'd like to climb this mountain we're all buried under."
Ceroba's expression softened as he added, "Standing under the sky, looking at the world all around... That's my wish..."
Despite her promise, she found herself laughing softly. It wasn't a cruel laugh, but a quiet, reverent one, thought Starlo still playfully groaned and whined, "Hey, you said you wouldn't laugh!!"
Ceroba thought of Clover, their desire to bring justice to monsterkind and their sacrifice. A soft, sad smile spread across her face as she pulled away and looked up at Starlo. Then she replied, "Sorry, it's just funny... That's my wish, too..."
He smiled down at her and wordlessly they stood up and began to walk back to the Wild East. Neither needed to say anything else, they both knew why that was the wish they both wanted—what every monster wanted. Every monster who had once lived under this mountain and every monster who will come to live under this mountain wants the same thing, all of monsterkind's hearts beating at once with the same desire.
Maybe one day it would come true. Ceroba hoped it would at least. She hoped she'd be around to see it someday, but she knew that was a lofty dream—a fantasy that would never play out in the real world. Though, it didn't matter, because as long as she had Starlo by her side, things would be okay. Someday, she'd be okay. She just had to believe that, believe what Starlo told her all the time.
Because he believed it, believed in her. Maybe she could too.
"And here we are! See I told ya! Ya didn't need to worry at all miss! I brought ya home safe 'n sound!" Starlo playfully added once the two got to Ceroba's place.
She laughed, rolling her eyes as she added, "Oh, why thank you, kind gentlemonster. I don't know what I'd do without you!"
It was only partially sarcasm because she truly didn't know what she'd do without him. He still laughed, smiling up at her as she held the door to her place open. Glancing inside, she took note of how quiet and lonely the place was and hoped it wouldn't be so bad once she got inside. She glanced back to Starlo and smiled.
"Alright, well I should get going. See ya 'round, 'Roba!!" He said as he turned around.
She called out for him before she could stop herself, "Wait! Star?"
He stopped and turned to face her with a curious expression, "Yeah, Ceroba?"
She hesitated for a moment before blurting out, "Can you... Can you stay?"
He blinked, surprised, but softened a moment later, not giving Ceroba time to retract her question, "Of course, Ceroba..." His gentle but knowing smile made her embarrassed, so she said nothing more as she held the door open for him.
Once the two were inside, Ceroba felt better. Her home had felt rather lonely in the months since Chujin's death and it only got worse after everything that happened with Kanako and Clover. Seeing Starlo in a space that once held a family, felt right. He was always meant to be surrounded by others—not alone. Seeing him standing in her family's home as if there were still monsters living in it—as if she wasn't hopelessly alone every, single night—it just felt right.
Starlo turned to her and smiled, "So, where should I sleep? Because I don't mind sleeping on the couch if need be..."
Ceroba blinked. Right... That's what she had forgotten to think about—sleeping arrangements. She looked at the couch. It wasn't the softest thing. Chujin had always wanted to buy a new one, but since he died she hadn't had the strength to go out and replace it. It still held memories of Chujin and Kanako that Ceroba didn't—couldn't part with. Still, it wasn't the best thing to sit on, let alone sleep on.
"Uh, no. There's no need for that. Uh, you can sleep in my bed. I'll sleep here!" She said as she met Starlo's gaze once again.
Starlo, having just glanced at the couch, eyed her with a guilty expression. "Are ya sure? I don't wanna kick ya outta yer bed... Really, I don't mind sleeping here, 'Roba!!"
She couldn't bear to have him sleep there, it just didn't feel right to take her nice comfortable bed and have him sleep on the hard, unused couch. Though, she didn't really want to sleep on it either. She thought for a moment and hummed as a thought came to her mind. "How about we both sleep in my bed? I have enough room, and I'd hate to make you sleep there. You know how uncomfortable that thing is..."
Her face grew red with embarrassment at the thought of Starlo sleeping in the same bed as her. She shook the thought away. They had shared a bed many times before as kids. Sure, it felt a little strange to do that as adults, but it wasn't that weird.
Right? Right.
Then, why did she feel so strange about it?
Looking up, she saw Starlo. His face was a little hard to make out in the darkness of the house, but it seemed like he was just as red as she was. He coughed and muttered, "A-Are ya sure? I really don't mind..."
She nodded and added, "I don't mind. We've shared a bed as kids, so it's not that weird... Right? I mean, if it makes you uncomfortable then you don't—"
Starlo laughed a little, "Nah, it's all good. As long as you're okay with it, then I don't mind sharing a bed with ya, 'Roba!"
She could tell he was putting his North Star persona on to mask his nervousness, but after a moment she nodded. "Alright, I'm gonna get changed. I'll call you in when I'm done... Do you want something more comfortable to sleep in...?"
Starlo shook his head, "Nah, it's al'ight!"
She smiled at him and said, "Okay..." Then she left him standing alone in the living room to get ready for bed. After changing into a loose grey shirt—that used to be Chujin's—and a pair of fox-patterned pajamas pants, she made the okay for Starlo to come in. A few moments later he stepped hesitantly into the room and smiled awkwardly at her.
She had turned a lamp on when she was changing, and she could see him better now. It was obvious that he felt awkward—probably because he was going to be sleeping where Chujin had so soon after his death, next to his still grieving widow. Ceroba almost felt bad, but the part of her that was just happy to see someone in her house again overtook that guilt.
Neither of them spoke as Ceroba walked into the on-suite bathroom to brush her teeth while Starlo took his hat, poncho and cowboy accessories off. Under his poncho, he had a white t-shirt with stars on it that reminded Ceroba of his past obsession with space. She smiled as she remembered all the times he would rant about space to her, all while wearing something similar to what he was wearing now.
After brushing her teeth, she made her way to the bed and sat down. She turned the bedside lamp off and huffed with amusement at Starlo, who was standing awkwardly beside the bed opposite her. Starlo glanced at her, and she smiled as she teased, "It's not gonna bite you, ya know."
He flushed with embarrassment and eventually sat down, shooting a playful glare at her. She got under the covers and sighed peacefully as she relaxed into the bed. After a few awkward moments, Starlo copied her—though he wasn't as relaxed as she was. As they began to fall asleep, Starlo was just about to close his eyes when he felt her tail brush against his leg.
Ceroba fell asleep quickly and thought she had trouble with frequently waking up in the night and not being able to fall asleep again. Starlo didn't have that issue but he did struggle to fall asleep, probably having something to do with his constant anxiety about everything, especially about Ceroba's depressed condition. As Starlo blinked his eyes in the darkness of the room he knew that Ceroba was already asleep. He also knew that he wouldn't be getting to sleep anytime soon if her tail kept startling him awake.
He spared a glance in Ceroba's direction. She was on her side, facing away from him. She usually slept on her side, because it didn't feel good having her tail squished underneath her. Starlo usually slept on his back because his tail was thinner than hers and he didn't mind the slight discomfort laying on it brought—also because it was far more uncomfortable to sleep on his side due to the points on his face. Because of the way she was lying, her tail would occasionally brush against him as she slept, keeping him awake.
Starlo closed his eyes and tried to ignore it. However, he couldn't ignore that he was sleeping in the same bed as Ceroba when she suddenly turned over and nuzzled her face into his shoulder. He opened his eyes in surprise and glanced down at her as she grabbed his arm in her sleep. She was so peaceful like this, uncaring about her inability to initiate touch from those she cared about. It was bittersweet because Starlo knew she'd never be this carefree if she were awake.
He felt himself relax as he stared down at her. She always calmed him down—soothed his anxiety, making the buzz in his head a distant, quiet drum instead of the loud, ever-present haze it usually was. He knew she'd never feel the same way he did, but if living with the heartbreaking reality of that fact was all he had to endure to keep her by his side, then he'd endure it. She meant everything to him.
Sure, he loved attention—craved it actually—and sure he needed the constant reassurance being the sheriff of the Wild East brought him, but it was different with her. He didn't have to put his guard up, he didn't have to mask his real self with his North Star persona. He was allowed to be himself around her and she was free to do the same. She'd been there for him since they were kids, and he'd been there for her as well.
He'd do anything to protect her more than anything else—even if protecting her meant losing his friends or his role as sheriff.
Though, it's not like Ceroba needed his protection. She was independent and strong, both physically and mentally. She could take the issues that life threw at her with ease. Starlo, on the other hand, couldn't. He cracked under pressure. He had to actively look away from the training dummy when he was doing target practice and pretend like he was a better shot than he actually was. If it came down to needing to protect Ceroba for real, he wouldn't be able to.
It was cowardly, but what was Starlo if not a coward?
Ceroba shifted slightly, startling Starlo out of his head and he blinked down at her before glancing at the clock—they were the only things monsters had that could tell them what time it was on the surface—to see that he'd spent a few hours laying there, not sleeping. He sighed softly. This was almost always the case. No matter how tired he was, he could never actually fall asleep at a reasonable hour—especially not when he was sleeping at the Feisty Five's hideout.
The Feisty Four made a ton of noise when they slept, no one could blame him for not getting a healthy amount of sleep in those conditions.
Though, he didn't have an excuse in this situation, did he? It was dead silent in Ceroba's house—okay maybe that was a bad expression, now that Starlo thinks about it. Still, you could almost hear the crickets from the surface from here—that's how quiet it was. Ceroba was pressed into his side and she was completely silent beside him, aside from the occasional sound of her tail rising and falling under the covers as she slept.
Starlo's arm was starting to hurt from the awkward position it was in and from Ceroba's sharp fox-like nails digging into it as dreams plagued her head. He, slowly and carefully, removed his arm from her hold and wrapped it around Ceroba. Hesitantly, his fingers relaxed somewhere between her side and the small of her back. He waited to see if she'd wake up but ultimately relaxed after a few minutes when she stayed silent and asleep beside him.
Although the situation of him being in Ceroba's bed was a bit awkward, nerve-wracking and bittersweet, this simple moment here made up for it. Laying here beside Ceroba in the darkness of the night was a serene kind of intimacy that he'd rarely had. Laying there with Ceroba meant more than anything to him and he wasn't going to let his racing thoughts ruin it.
He eventually fell asleep with that idea settled into his mind.
Starlo usually woke up before Ceroba, getting up bright and early and coming over to wake her up—especially when her hypersomnia and depression got worse. Which was why she was surprised when she found herself staring up at Starlo and not the other way around—wait, staring up at Starlo? Why was she—
Ceroba blinked as her face flushed red. She was pressed into Starlo's side, his arm lying behind her. Carefully, she shuffled out of his hold and sat up, staring down at him while he slept. She must have cuddled into him in her sleep. She looked away as her face burned with embarrassment, not certain as to why she was feeling so embarrassed about something she did while unconscious.
It was just Starlo. They had cuddled before as children. It wasn't weird. They were best friends. Best friends cuddled each other from time to time... So, it wasn't something to be embarrassed about... Right? Right.
She shook herself and shifted over to the edge of the bed. Then she kicked her legs off the bed and stood up. She sighed as she stretched and yawned before shuffling over to the bathroom to brush her teeth and comb her hair. She had forgotten to put her hair up last night, so now her hair was a mess of knots. Eventually, her hair smoothed out and she began to braid it, her clawed fingers occasionally getting caught and messing up her progress.
Annoyed, she growled as she repeatedly started over before eventually giving up. She stared at herself in the mirror for a moment, her angry expression fading away after a moment. Her ears pinned down against her head as her face flushed in embarrassment before she glanced towards the bed where Starlo was sleeping. She debated waking him up to ask him to braid her hair but quickly shot that thought down and huffed with embarrassment.
She wasn't sure why she felt embarrassed about asking Starlo to braid her hair, or why she was embarrassed about the situation in general. Maybe somewhere deep down in her knew. Maybe it was because Chujin used to braid her hair after they got together. Maybe it was because Starlo was sleeping where Chujin used to sleep when he was alive. Maybe she was in denial about her feelings about the situation. Or about her feelings about Star—
No. No, that wasn't right. She was just embarrassed because they hadn't been this close since they were kids. Yeah, that's it! She just wanted to be close to Starlo like she used to be, and there was nothing else to psychoanalyze. There especially wasn't anything to analyze about her feelings about Starlo—they were best friends and that's all they were.
As she was absent-mindedly watching Starlo sleep, she was startled when he began to stir and wake up. Ceroba quickly looked away, attempting once again to braid her hair and refusing to look herself in the eyes as her face ran hot with a mix of shame, guilt and embarrassment. Her hands fumbled through her hair, causing her to lose grip on parts of her hair and making the braid fall apart again. She growled again and pulled her hands out of her hair, slamming them against the sink in rage.
"'Roba? You good?" Starlo suddenly said from her side.
She yelped in surprise and turned to glare at him before sighing and saying, "No... I-I apparently can't braid my own hair still."
Starlo laughed and rested his head against the door frame, "Ya want some help?"
Despite her embarrassment, she nods slowly and says, "Yeah, go sit on the bed. I'll sit on the ground so we both don't have to stand."
Starlo nodded, walked over to the bed, and sat down. With a sigh, Ceroba grabbed her comb and a hair tie before following him. She then sat on the floor with her back to Starlo and inched closer until her back was touching the bed. She handed him the comb and hair tie, which he took and sat beside him on the bed. He gathered up all of her hair, pushed it behind her and grabbed the comb, running in through her hair for a moment before starting to braid her hair.
As braided her hair, she slowly started to relax. His hands running through her hair felt nice and for a moment she could pretend that all of her thoughts meant nothing, that everything was fine and nothing had ever gone wrong in her life. The feeling of someone braiding her hair brought back many memories—memories of Chujin and Kanako but also memories of a younger Starlo and Ceroba. Memories that subconsciously made Ceroba smile.
Memories were all she had left, along with Starlo. After all the tragedy that had occurred in her life, nothing mattered more than these happy memories, these happy times she could no longer have—times that only existed in her head. Starlo bringing these memories back to her meant more than anything, even if that wasn't his intention. She was just glad he was still there with her, even after everything she put him through.
She had all but forgotten about her previous embarrassment as Starlo finished braiding her hair. He handed her comb back as he said, "There ya go, 'Roba! All done! I think I did pretty good, for someone who hasn't braided hair in a few years!"
Ceroba laughed, "Yeah, I'm surprised you still remembered how to. Thanks, Star..."
She wasn't really thanking him for braiding her hair—there was something softer in her tone that suggested something else, something more important that he'd given her—but he smiled all the same and went on some rant about being the best at remembering things. As she turned around and smiled softly at him—a hint of nostalgia glimmering in her eye—he smiled back, ignoring the thought that she wasn't thinking about him but about someone else.
Because she was happy, and that meant more than anything to him.