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Crosshair stayed in the cockpit of the ship while Omega tore out of the room, racing for the ramp. She’d practically been vibrating in her seat from the moment she saw the Marauder in the distance.
He didn’t want to soil her reunion. He wasn’t sure how Hunter and Wrecker would react once they saw him. Omega may have been quick to forgive and forget, but something told him his brothers wouldn’t be as hasty.
He tried not to let his gaze linger on Wrecker’s hulking figure as he ran out to greet Omega. Or the sheer, palpable relief on Hunter’s face when he saw Omega in Wrecker’s arms. He looked away fully when Hunter ran down the steps two at a time to collapse in front of the girl, holding her close.
He quickly squashed the small part of himself that longed for a similar warm welcome.
Instead he took the time to look over his brothers.
Their armor was painted differently than it had been during the war or on Kamino. More colorful, more… custom. Unique. It also looked like it hadn’t been painted or touched up in months, covered in scratches, dents, and chips. Likely they were too focused on searching for Omega to take the time to fix it. Or it could have been that they didn’t have anyone to fix and upkeep their armor like they once did.
He had to fight the urge to look to the top of the ramp to the Marauder . Part of him expected to see another brother come running out, but Crosshair knew he wasn’t there.
I ran into your brothers today. I’m not sure what they were trying to accomplish, but whatever it was, they failed. One of them didn’t make it.
Crosshair should’ve been there. Tech may have been a genius, but he was just as rash, just as wild in his plans as the rest of them. Maybe if Crosshair had been there he would have been able to do something to stop him, to save him.
I’m so sorry, Crosshair. We got your message, and Tech– Tech didn’t feel right leaving you there. None of us did.
Worse, if Crosshair had been there, Tech would never have been in that position in the first place. A misguided rescue attempt when they should have been running, hiding, not trying to save Crosshair from the consequences of his own mistakes. Tech would be alive and Crosshair would–
He should have just gone with them that day on Kamino. All of this could have been avoided if he’d gotten on the ship when Wrecker asked, when Hunter, when Omega asked. If he hadn’t been so stubborn, so prideful, Tech would still be alive and Omega would never have ended up in Hemlock’s grasp.
Even apart from his brothers, all he seemed to do was hurt them.
Walking down the ramp with those thoughts in his head and his heart in his throat, he couldn’t help but feel as though he were walking toward an execution rather than a reunion.
He stopped once he stepped onto the planet, ready to turn and bolt back up the ship if either one of them pulled a weapon. He didn’t think they would, but he wasn’t armed and he wasn’t in the mood to fight them, so if things went south his only choice would be to run.
Hunter and Wrecker frowned at him from across the crater, but there wasn’t a blaster in sight, which Crosshair took as a win. A glance down at Omega had the girl nodding at him in encouragement, her usual kind smile on her lips even.
He walked over slowly, though Omega seemed to be the only one enthused about it. Wrecker was still frowning at him, though his eyes appeared to trail over Crosshair as though Wrecker were trying to memorize every part of him.
Hunter was stiff, frozen behind Omega and face unreadable.
“Crosshair,” Hunter said, resting his hands on Omega’s shoulders as he glared.
Crosshair eyed him, eyes narrowing. He fought the urge to fidget under his brother’s cold stare.
“Hunter,” he said softly, fighting like hell to keep his heart rate steady and not give away his nerves and how much this meant to him. “Wrecker.”
The silence that fell was long, and painfully awkward. Crosshair didn’t know what to do with himself because at least before when he was angry he’d had something to say , something to fill the uncomfortable chasm that had formed between them. Now, he didn’t know what to say. He was barely even angry anymore so much as he was tired , and truly, even after everything they’ve done to each other, after all the hurt they’d all made each other feel, all Crosshair wanted was to go home.
And even though home may not look like what it used to with Tech gone and Echo in the wind fighting the Empire, it was still better than before . Before when he’d had no one, until he’d finally had someone only to lose them too because of his own stupid ego, because all he seemed to be capable of was letting down the people who actually cared about him—
And now, standing here under his brother’s scrutiny, Crosshair couldn’t help but think that maybe he had been right. Maybe he should have ignored Omega and stayed on Tantiss and let himself waste away. It would have been better than getting rejected by his family again and watching them fly off without him—
“Omega says you helped her escape,” Hunter said carefully, his voice and his unmoving glare not giving anything away.
“She didn’t need my help,” Crosshair said without really thinking about it. He smirked down at the kid and Omega smiled back, her eyes soft and happy in a way they hadn’t been in the months he’d spent with her. “She did all the work. I just shot where she told me.”
“Why?”
“Hunter,” Omega said in warning, but Hunter stopped her with a shake of his head.
“You turned on the Empire,” Hunter said, and hearing it said so simply makes it sound like such an easy thing when in reality it was one of the hardest things Crosshair had ever done. “And you helped Omega. I want to know why.”
We were good soldiers. We followed orders. And for what?
He is expendable, as are you .
His hand started to shake again, a throbbing in his fingers that reminded him of the faint beating of Mayday’s heart as it slowed to a stop on that tarmac. He clenched it tight, trying to hide it, but of course Hunter noticed it and frowned.
Crosshair took a deep breath and once he felt like he could speak without it coming out as shaky as his hand, he did.
“I realized some things,” he said, which sounded so cavalier for what he went through, but it was the only way he could bring himself to say it. “You were right. The Empire is wrong. I only wish I had realized it sooner.”
It didn’t feel like enough. It wasn’t enough to convey the heavy weight of guilt on his heart or the dark smear of shame on his soul, but it was all he had to offer. Anything more and Crosshair wasn’t sure he’d make it through saying it without embarrassing himself.
Wrecker’s frown turned to something softer, maybe even concerned if Crosshair was feeling generous.
For a moment Hunter’s expression didn’t change, and the longer Hunter stood without moving, the further Crosshair’s stomach dropped.
He shouldn’t have listened to the girl. Of course Hunter wouldn’t want him here. After everything he’d done, after everything they’d suffered because of him–
Suddenly there are a pair of armored arms wrapped around his shoulders, and dark, curly hair is tickling his nose as Hunter buried his face into Crosshair’s neck.
Crosshair stood frozen for half a second while his brain rebooted, then quickly raised his arms to wrap tightly around his big brother.
“Thank you,” Hunter mumbled into his shoulder. “I’m so happy you’re okay.”
Crosshair couldn’t have spoken around the lump in his throat even if he knew what to say. Instead he nodded, squeezing his brother tighter and inhaling the musky, sweaty scent that was so uniquely Hunter .
After a while Hunter pulled back and Crosshair let him go, only feeling a slight pang at the loss of warmth.
He turned to Wrecker when his brother sniffled loudly, and fought the urge to roll his eyes when he saw the tears gathering in Wrecker’s.
“Good to have you back, Cross,” Wrecker said, punching Crosshair lightly in the shoulder. It was still hard enough to knock him off balance, and without his armor it smarted a little, but he honestly didn’t mind.
He would never say it out loud, but he’d missed the big oaf.
Crosshair and Hunter glanced at each other, both shifting awkwardly after the unusual display of affection. Omega and Wrecker shared a fond, if exasperated, look.
Eventually Hunter cleared his throat, and Crosshair took a deep breath.
“Come on,” Hunter said, looking down at Omega fondly. “Let’s go home.”
They all turned and walked toward the Marauder, and after a brief second of hesitation, Crosshair followed.