Chapter Text
Go ahead, honey, you'll do fine. I trust you.
That was what her mother had told her in her usual morning call. While Gerri was making her coffee, getting dressed, combing her hair and fixing up her one-room apartment at the top of an old New York building, her mother was on the phone talking about the weekly happenings in her hometown of no more than a thousand people. Nothing particularly relevant ever happened, except a lost sheep, a broken-down truck or a lack of supplies at the local store, but for Petunia Howard it was the most exciting thing that could happen in her day-to-day life and she passed it on to her youngest daughter with unbridled excitement while she just nodded and thought about the myriad of legal problems to be solved in the cases she had been assigned to practice, to see if she could come up with the right solutions and, therefore, if she would be a good lawyer.
Geraldine Howard, Gerri as everyone had called her since she was a child, was the youngest of three siblings, David and Elizabeth, and the only one who had the courage to leave the town and go to university to study law. Not that law was one of her first choices. In fact, it wasn't even in the top five, but she was admitted to a good university and everything turned around.
Moving to the city was not complicated for her; she had always wanted it. Unlike her brother David, who had set up a mechanic shop, and her sister Elizabeth, who since she was a child had pursued the idea of getting married and becoming a mother, she always knew she would get out of that hole to find a better life.
And she was succeeding. More or less. She didn't have hot water and sometimes her apartment door would jam and she'd have to climb out the fire escape, but now she was facing the revolving doors of the Waystar Royco office building and all that seemed like minutiae compared to what she was poised to accomplish.
It hadn't been easy to get the internship at one of the fastest growing media companies in the last year, but she had fought hard enough to get it. That didn't exempt her from being a mere trainee intern for some probably stale and haughty lawyer that Gerri was already used to, but it would be worth it if she could later embellish her resume with an internship at the company.
It was a sacrifice for the greater good. And it would be worth it.
She often walked past the Waystar building. Not that it was close to anything she was a regular, she had only once moved through that financial district when some colleagues invited her for a drink at a nearby bar. But from the moment she crossed the sidewalk and saw the building, with lights on at ten o'clock at night, emitting an almost intoxicating work atmosphere, she knew she had to go in there, that this would be her unexpected ticket to a still uncertain success.
Because even if she could get in, she had long since ruled out the option of working in a law firm, where there was cruel and merciless competition for cases that weren't even that valuable. But being the lawyer for a firm like Waystar meant working without any competition once she reached the top.
And now, at last, her hand was pushing lightly on the revolving door, crossing in front of her several men in suits who didn't disguise their analytical and lascivious glances at all when they saw her enter with confidence, wearing her Armani suit jacket in which she had sacrificed a month's rent and a month's food to be able to buy it. But Gerri knew that among lawyers image was everything, because she could be the best at her job but the handicap of having been born with a vagina and a pair of tits detracted from her credibility in the face of bouffant hair and a broad back, even if their opinions were wrong.
She approached the front desk, where a girl about her age was expertly managing a couple of telephones and writing down all the information in a notebook. Gerri smiled politely, waiting to be attended.
“Geraldine Howard?” A voice called at her back. As she turned around, she ran into another woman, tall, leggy, blonde and slender, a prototypical secretary Barbie. "I've been waiting for you."
"Oh, nice to meet you." She held out her hand by way of greeting, which was well received by the other party.
"I'm Anne. Come with me. You have a meeting with human resources now."
"I thought that was clear. That from the university they'd managed it." Although she was struggling to keep up with the other pair of legs, Gerri walked the path to the elevator, bumping into about five men in suits who smelled of alcohol and tobacco.
"Anne, you look good." One of them commented with clear ulterior motives by the tone of his voice and the curvature of his lips. She just smiled with a certain contempt. In Anne's presence, Gerri seemed to suddenly disappear.
Sometimes she was grateful to be small, chubby despite the endless diets she had tried during adolescence, with hazelnut-brown and curly hair and big glasses. She managed to disappear and that sometimes gave her an advantage over the opposite sex. It had its drawbacks, of course . Her voice was not always heard as it should be, but she was also learning to play it to her advantage.
“You're getting older every day, Patrick." That was all Anne said as she stepped out of the elevator on the fifth floor. "You see, about the human resources thing, it's just a formality. They want to meet you, they want you to explain your resume, nothing more. Nothing serious." Anne stopped in front of one of the doors in an empty hallway and pointed to it with her hand.
Gerri just nodded. What else was she supposed to do?
"I have to leave you now. There's an important meeting on the seventh. But, good luck. I hope to see you around."
Gerri took a deep breath as her hand brushed against the cold handle. She wanted to do this. Despite her doubts she wanted it. She had become very convinced of it and she wasn't going to let her mind tell her otherwise. Sometimes she doubted that she had chosen the right path and not chosen the art career as she had wanted to a few years before. She had weighed the pros and cons countless times, even in college, but she wanted to convince herself that she had gotten it right. She was too much of a perfectionist and too square-jawed to assume to herself that she might have been wrong. That was not in the Gerri Howard plans she was building.
She opened the door calmly but stopped when she heard a conversation in that tiny office. She could just barely glimpse a tall, broad-backed, somewhat gray-haired man talking to another much smaller in height and build. Perhaps the man sitting at the table was of normal size and the other simply enormous.
"Excuse me." She made mention of closing the door again.
"Miss Howard? Come in! I've been expecting you." The small man intercepted her in time, before she closed the door all the way, while the other turned to watch her as she entered with some embarrassment and waited glued to the wooden door. "Baird, we have to leave this here but as soon as I get the papers I'll have someone bring them up to you."
He, Baird , smiled as he hid his hands in his pockets, causing his blazer to open and exposing his vest. "Good." He broke away from the desk and took a step forward, standing directly in front of Gerri, who had to raise her face slightly to watch him as he locked his eyes on her. "Does she work for us?" He asked to an undetermined addressee though Gerri knew he meant her. "Have her bring them up to me."
Gerri frowned, somewhat annoyed but said nothing. She was to mark with a green check her first encounter with a haughty and unpleasant man in a suit. "Will you let me out, honey?" Gerri realized she was completely blocking the only door to the office. Baird smiled disdainfully and she simply stepped aside, letting him pass, but not before she perceived an analytical glance at her person that she took it upon herself to repeat over him, looking him up and down.
“Excuse him, things upstairs . On each floor things work differently but you'll see it little by little. I'm Alex, by the way. Have a seat."
"Who is he? I've done a little digging around the company and he's definitely not Logan Roy." Gerri muttered as she sat down in the only empty chair in front of the desk and arranged her folders with all her references on the table. If she was going to take on human resources she had to bring out the big guns.
"Oh, no, it's not the boss although it sometimes looks like it. It's Baird Kellman, Waystar's financial advisor. He's Logan's right-hand man."
“I see..." At least she had identified the cocky fellow as the company's second-in-command, whom of course she was to keep in her sights and in consideration as soon as she started working there.
"Well, Geraldine, tell me-"
"Gerri, if possible. No one calls me Geraldine." It was true. No one had ever recognized her by that name, only her mother, who used to blurt out her full name when she was angry with her. No one in her new life knew her name, even some were strangers to her real name.
“Good, Gerri. Then I'll change the name in your file. No problem. I've gone over your academic record a bit, the university has provided it to us, and I must say it's impressive. I don't think in the last two years we've had anyone so brilliant in this company." Gerri smiled shyly at that compliment. She was not at all used to it, no one usually complimented her on her successes and if they did it was always from disdain and envy. "You have solved complex practical cases and that is admirable. Here at the firm you'll find that the cases you have to deal with will have a different flavor ."
"What do you mean?" Gerri had to ask although she could imagine where he was going with it. Alex gave her a grimace that Gerri didn't quite know how to interpret. Maybe he wanted to confess something she wasn't ready for yet.
“You will see. For the moment I can tell you that it will be more...economic issues..." Gerri could imagine perfectly well what kind of economic issues were dealt with in companies of that style and they were always delays or evasions in the payment of taxes that the lawyers had to camouflage under some stupid pretext just in order not to be denounced to pay a higher sum. There also used to be other types of scandals such as unfair dismissals, unfair competition, manipulation of information or patent theft. It always used to be the same and she doubted it would be any different at Waystar.
"I see...well, I'm good at those things..."
“Better then. For the time being, I can tell you that you will be working in the seventh. There are a total of thirty lawyers in this firm although spread over different locations. You're in luck, you get the main building." Alex stood up without even glancing at the stack of papers with all the information Gerri had brought as a reference. It was as if he simply trusted her or that the company needed a rookie to carry their coffees and the occasional dead body. "If you follow me, I'll show you where you'll be working."
Gerri smiled kindly and followed him toward the elevator. It was silent, not uncomfortable but not a situation she particularly enjoyed either. As soon as the doors opened, she could see the layout of Waystar's famous seventh floor. Crammed with cubicles, printers and closed offices in every corner. People moved with speed, some at a frenetic pace for what Gerri had assumed was being done there. A few workers gathered over coffee, but not many.
When Alex stopped to put down some papers on one of the tables, her eyes came across him again. Leaning on one of the tables, with his arms crossed, showing all his musculature even under his suit, he was chatting with a woman who undoubtedly looked like a secretary. Seeing her standing there, hesitating about where exactly to wait or stand, he stopped his conversation, addressing her directly.
"Oh, my documents are ready." He tucked his hands back into his trouser pockets, opening his jacket, showing Gerri his broad, strong, upright chest.
"I...I don't know what documents..."
"Here you go!" Alex's voice appeared from behind, holding out a brown folder to him but Baird didn't shift his position to take them, he simply looked at Gerri, raising his eyebrows.
"Take them and come to my office. I'll handle it, Brown." Baird insisted again, staring fixedly at the documents still in the HR rep's hands. Gerri sighed but did as she was asked. She reached for the documents and followed Baird into his office.
Gerri entered the huge office, with large windows that overlooked much of the city, a desk in the center filled with papers, and bookshelves on either side. She stood there until Baird closed the door, walked past her and around the desk until he dropped into his office chair.
“You can leave the folder on top there." He pointed to a stack of papers somewhat lower than the rest. "So you're the new thing?"
" Thing? You're even more rude than I had assumed." Baird laughed at that, it was a short, intense laugh that Gerri was offended by but to him it seemed to be a most usual gesture. "You find that funny?"
"Maybe. But let me tell you, it's perhaps the mildest and kindest thing you're going to hear here for the next six months. All the while you'll be surrounded by nasty men, who will look down on you with contempt and lewdness, who will see you as inferior and take absolutely no notice of you at all. You're in luck though, you'll be working for me. Directly."
“If that's lucky..." Gerri mumbled thinking he wouldn't be able to hear her but he did and smiled again, this time in a friendlier way, standing up and leaning against the end of the desk, acquiring a closer position that Gerri felt a little nervous about.
"Miss Howard, are you willing to earn the vacancy that will come up in this company? One more lawyer in here, do you want that? Because if that's what you want, I'll help you. I'm not as nasty as you think I am, but you have to eat here to keep from getting eaten. Do you want it? Although if that's not what you want and this is just a formality for you, then I'll let you sink without any trouble, finish your internship here and leave through the same door you came in."
“Yes..." That was the short answer to get out of the situation. To allude or make any comment to such a patronizing speech would have cost her a position she didn't even have yet. "I guess I do want this..."
"Good. In that case, welcome, Miss Howard." He held out his hand, huge with its open palm, his fingers strong but refined, and Gerri returned the gesture. Her thin, small hand seemed to disappear into his as he wrapped it around her and held it for a few seconds. He wasn't even exerting a modicum of force and yet Gerri could feel the tension pulling her to him. She looked up, meeting his light brown eyes, small and slanted as he smiled, marking a few wrinkles on the sides that showed his age.
“Thank you...what am I supposed to do now?" Gerri let go of his hand, standing upright again, just far enough away from him.
"We'll find you a table out there and my secretary, Patricia, will fill you in on everything."
The first week and a half was hell. A real hell on earth.
Gerri was assigned to sort through all types of old cases in dusty files, cases that were either past the statute of limitations or that someone had taken it upon themselves to bury because it didn't suit the company's image at all. She had destroyed a lot of papers, shredded them and disposed of them as if nothing similar had ever existed there, and she had taken calls, lots of them, practically all addressed to Mr. Kellman . She had been more of a secretary than a lawyer, but she was not ready to give up.
She had met Logan Roy, the owner, the CEO, the tycoon, the brilliant mind behind the company, and he hadn't seemed like that big deal to her either. Not that running into him in the hallway and hearing him tell everyone to go fuck themselves was a very good synonym for getting to know him, but you could say she had.
And she had worked minimally for Baird. Despite what he'd promised at the start, he hadn't kept his word. She had been ignored by most of the workers on the seventh floor, she had indeed been scrutinized by critical and desirous glances the day she wore a skirt that showed her knees, and not a single day had she set foot in Mr. Kellman's huge, book-filled office even though he used to let himself be seen among the cubicles from time to time.
If one quality had stood out in Gerri since she was a child, it was that she was a keen observer, and in her analysis of the staff, she had a sneaking suspicion that Baird Kellman had some sort of relationship with his secretary. Regular visits to her desk, where he would lean his whole body, and smile as he gave the occasional order, were a regular occurrence. Only once did Baird's gaze meet hers, in a smile intermingled with friendliness and annoyance, but nothing more. She was just that, an observer.
On Friday night, Gerri stayed late in her cubicle. She had to finish some sort of deadline report that she found totally unnecessary but which she had to get out of the way as soon as possible if she wanted to have a quiet weekend and as up to date a start to the week as possible.
When she looked up from the papers she realized she was alone. The lights had faded, the sounds of the fax machine and printer had been muted, and the sound of footsteps in the hallway was nonexistent.
"Shit..." She picked up her papers with some speed, though trying to leave them as tidy as possible. Her coworkers had mentioned staying late to her. It was, in Frank Vernon's words : a fuck-up . If they closed the building and she was still there she would have to notify the security company to release her, or, failing that, spend the whole weekend there. She turned off the yellowish light on her desk and reached for her purse on the fly, making her way to the elevator at a brisk pace.
But her heart began to beat a little slower when she realized that Baird's office still had the light on. She approached carefully, though clicking her heels in warning, and knocked on the wooden door with her knuckles.
"Mr. Kellman?" She peeked cautiously inside, taking advantage of the fact that the door was already ajar. Baird was there, standing behind his desk, without his blazer, just his white shirt with the collar buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up to the elbow, smoking a cigarette as he stared out the window. "Mr. Kellman...I'm leaving...good night..." She reached for the door handle, ready to close but Baird's gesture stopped her. He stubbed out his cigarette in his ashtray on the table and fixed his gaze on her.
“Wait, Miss Howard, do you have a minute? Come in." As usual, Baird hid his hands in his trouser pockets, marking the muscles in his arms and chest. Gerri had tried to conceal it but had failed in her multiple attempts. Despite being averse to the person of Baird Kellman, she could not deny his attractiveness. She was aware that he knew the power he wielded over women, a big, strong guy with an advantageous position in business, he was the perfect guy. And despite that, Gerri just made sure she saw him as just another man in a suit.
"Do you need anything?"
"Are you aware of the Morgan Stanley situation?" Baird rounded the desk, sitting on the edge as he lit another cigarette. “Do you mind?" He gestured at her as Gerri sat down in one of the empty chairs across from him.
"You can smoke, I don't mind. I think in the last few years the Morgan Stanley situation has been pretty good..."
"But..."
"But I don't see it reliable to buy stock or access any loans if that's what you're thinking. The numbers aren't doing too well for the bank and some people are predicting a nationwide bankruptcy before long."
"I know, I'm a financial advisor. My job is to get ahead of it." Gerri frowned, not quite understanding what he intended then. "I want your opinion as a lawyer, not as an economist. I have plenty of those and I'm the best you're going to find here." Again, another self-centered and haughty reference that Gerri had grown tired of hearing.
"Well...excuse me Mr. Kellman but I don't quite understand what you want..."
"Call me Baird, please. Mr. Kellman was my father and that makes me feel older than I already am." He smiled in spite of everything.
"You don't look that old to me..." She blurted it out without thinking too much although when he analyzed her with his gaze and laughed halfway through his puff on his cigarette, she felt her cheeks burn. Baird Kellman could easily be fifteen or twenty years older than her and he was her boss and second in command of the company. What the fuck was she thinking? Just, maybe, in his hard, sculpted face, chiseled jawline and biceps that could lift her off the ground as if she was floating effortlessly. Not that it would be very complicated to lift her off the ground either.
"Oh, don't be so polite to me. I am, dear. But here the point is that for these past two weeks I've been watching you." What? Had she been being analyzed in detail by Baird when she thought he had completely ignored her? Baird moved around the office, still with his hand in his pocket. "I know you're smart, you work well, you're obedient and disciplined, and that's all fine and dandy but you're not going to eat shit like that. At least if you want to work here. Come here."
With his gaze, he guided her to the window and Gerri stood beside him, watching New York City at dusk from a more than privileged vantage point. Few expensive restaurants in the city had the view he had from his office. "You've made it here, don't blow it. The city is full of people like you, efficient, disciplined workers who will never move up a damn rung. If you want to be the best lawyer, the goddamn general counsel of this company, if you ever want to make it to CEO you have to have two things, initiative and a total of zero scruples as harsh as that sounds."
"What will happen if I ever rise above you here?" Gerri joked and Baird looked at her with a certain fondness.
“Well, it's something I wouldn't have a complaint about. It's much better to have such a pretty face as a boss, much better than Logan's, who looks like he’s smelling shit constantly." Baird let out a laugh at his own quip and although Gerri tried to laugh she couldn't help but feel a twinge inside her towards the fact that Baird had referred to her as a pretty face .
Gerri was quick in her reflection and analysis of the moment though. She always was. Maybe this was her chance to prove herself to him and maybe he had done it with that intention and expected the right reaction from her.
“Excuse me Baird, but if I ever get to be your boss it will be on my merits and not because of my pretty face." Baird's eyes lit up when he saw her talk like that. It was definitely what he had hoped for, the guts she had lacked the first two weeks.
"There she is! Good!" He was perhaps a little too excited by her sharp reply. "Sharp, concise, perfect. Another in your place would have smiled stupidly at the compliment, which is depressing. But not you. I wasn't wrong about you, Miss Howard." Gerri smiled. Baird had been watching her, and a lot. Enough to decipher her manner after only a couple of shared sentences and a few not unstressed glances between them.
“You can call me Gerri. I guess it's fair."
"All right, Gerri." Baird glanced at his wristwatch out of the corner of his eye and stubbed out his cigarette at full speed. "Oh, shit! It's nearly ten o'clock. Either we get out now or we get locked in here."
"Right." Gerri loaded up her things again, ready to leave the office as Baird turned off the lights and put on his blazer and coat. All he needed was a hat to complete the fifties movie star outfit and Gerri couldn't like the idea any better. Although she only allowed herself to think about it for a second and would never admit that such a thing had crossed her mind.
"Want me to give you a lift somewhere, Gerri?" He offered as they walked calmly down the hallway toward the elevator. "My car must be downstairs."
"Don't worry. I'll go for a walk, I don't live far from here." She lied and lied very badly but she couldn't be oblivious to the fact how extremely strange it would be to carpool with the boss when she hardly knew him.
If anyone found out about it they might assume and throw in her face that her merits were being given not exactly within the walls of the office but rather outside of them and she was never going to let that happen.
"So...good night then, Gerri." Was what he said to her as he smiled and opened the back door of a huge, shiny, black Mercedes that fit him perfectly.
“Good night, Baird. Happy weekend." She waited there on the sidewalk for a few seconds, waving goodbye to him with the stupid, almost adolescent smile she had earlier masterfully hidden when Baird had called her a pretty face .