Chapter Text
Harry hates it when his brain wakes him up before his alarm, and it happens more often than not. He checks the time on his cell, oh right. No work today, which means no alarm to dread. Still, he’s awake so the day should begin anyway. Harry fills his lungs slowly with oxygen before holding it for a few seconds: one, two, three , then exhaling slowly: four, five six . It becomes an ongoing pattern for a few minutes. It’s how he starts his day, every day, before sitting up, and then taking an even deeper breath. Closing his eyes, he meditates. Routines are important to Harry, some days they are everything .
Before really getting out of bed, Harry does one last thing. Browsing through his old voicemails he pauses and clicks on the one left for him on October 27th, 2020. Feeling grounded enough to hear it, he closes his eyes in anticipation.
“Hello, it’s your husband. I just got out of work and wanted to see what you wanted to do for dinner. If I don’t hear back from you I’ll just get us Indian takeout from that one place, ok? Love you.”
Harry’s throat tightens just as he expected it to and so he inhales to clear it up. He’s okay. A smile creeps on his face just picturing Alberto’s smirk as he says “Love you.” He was such a sarcastic asshole.
Has it really been 3 years?
Days like today it feels just like yesterday. Getting that call from the hospital informing Harry that his husband had been in a serious car accident, hit by a drunk driver, rushed to emergency life saving surgery, etc. The whole day plays like a movie montage in Harry’s mind. Once it starts there’s no way of stopping it. Harry still remembers the way he sounded when he screamed. He had never made that sound in his life and hoped he never would again. It was the most gut-wrenching sound he hopes never comes out of anyone ever.
Harry’s bed calls him back to bed. Reminding him of how warm and comforting it is and how he’s off work today anyway so he could just lie in bed all day. It’s why he requested today off nearly a month ago. He always gives himself this day off because he doesn’t know how he’s going to react and doesn’t want to risk having a mental breakdown at work.
No! Harry thinks, standing and sliding his slippers onto his feet. He continues his morning routine: washing his face, and listening to his morning affirmations while doing his skin routine.
No one in his contacts is available to hang out today. It’s a work day and people have lives. Harry would never expect anyone to remember what today is and he’d never want them to take time off work to keep him company.
Instead, he pulls out his Macbook after moisturizing and opens Reddit. Just recently, Niall had informed him how people meet on Reddit the way people used to meet on Craigslist back before Harry even met Alberto. Today’s a perfect day to check it out and see if it is a good way to meet people.
Harry can almost hear Alberto’s voice telling him You’ve spent enough time alone, babe. It’s time to get yourself back out there. Stop pining over me. You already did enough of that when I was alive.
Harry chuckles, rolling his eyes, “Okay, okay, fine,” he grumbles. He contemplates what his post could look like before clicking the appropriate places to create one.
35 [M4R] Looking to hang out with someone today. Doesn’t have to lead to anything.
Hello! I’m new to this so bear with me. I’m off work today and wanted to chill with someone. Doesn’t have to lead to anything, it’s cool if we just hang out and talk. 420 friendly, in fact, I’ll share some of mine! Send me a pic of you flicking me off to know you’re real.
Before hitting post, he scans over his words a few more times to look for typos. He’s almost sure his heart skips a beat when he sees it appear on the page. It’s happening.
Good job baby. I’m proud of you.
Harry closes his eyes. He swears he can almost hear him. And with that, he prepares for the rest of the day. The plants get watered as he sings to them. Niall keeps insisting he gets a pet so he won’t be alone, but eventually compromises for a plant. Five plants later, he’s starting to bring up the pet thing again, but Harry’s been able to successfully evade the conversation for now. It’s nice that Niall and his partner Shawn care about him, and Harry is so grateful for it. However, he feels that his loved ones sometimes care a little too much about his ‘loneliness’.
After years of therapy and healing, Harry has realized that there’s nothing wrong with being alone. Harry has already found the love of his life and got to spend 10 wonderful years with him. That’s more than anyone can get in a lifetime, right? Although he lost it, he experienced what people spend their lives searching for. So, he chooses not to get into relationships. There’s no need or want to take things seriously with any of the people he’s dated since losing Alberto. The ones that don’t seem to understand are Harry’s loved ones. It’s like they won’t leave him alone until he’s happy in another relationship again. That probably won’t happen again. Harry was lucky enough to get it once, twice is probably impossible. He’s accepted it, and his loved ones should as well.
Harry almost forgot about the Reddit post, until he clicked on the app on his phone to look at memes. There are dozens of unread messages waiting for him in the chat section. There’s a slight temptation to just delete everything, forget it ever happened, and go back to bed for the rest of the day, but Harry shakes the feeling off and clicks on the first message.
NSFW pic
Hey baby wyd?
Harry’s nose scrunches. “Ugh, really? That’s the best you can do?” He hits the NSFW image and it reveals a very explicit picture of the guy’s dick. “Hmm,” he tilts his head, “No!” He reprimands himself before deleting the message. This isn’t about finding hookups, it’s about not spending the anniversary of his husband’s death alone. In years past, Harry has wallowed in self pity on this day, and that’s okay too, but he’s just refusing to do that this year.
A handful of messages are nothing but dick pics. Although some are rather impressive, it wasn’t the purpose of Harry’s post and if people aren’t even going to bother reading, he’s not going to give them the time of day. Finally, there are some acceptable responses, and he replies to those that made an effort.
When he’s finally at the bottom of the inbox, the first thing his eyes are drawn to is the ‘8’ tattooed on the guy’s middle finger. It’s not a full-face picture, just showed the bottom half, tongue sticking out. The guy’s wearing a hoodie whose sleeves cutely cover half his hand.
Heyy.
My name is Louis, I’m new to the city and would love to meet new people. Also got weed and I would love to share with a fellow lad. I’ll send a full pic once I verify you’re not trying to scam me with an OF page.
I am from England, but have lived in the US for nearly a year. I like Chicago so far, but isn’t it supposed to snow a lot over here? Anyway, let me know if you want to chat. If you don’t, have a good day anyway.
Harry doesn’t realize there’s a smile on his face until he’s typing his reply. He likes this user’s vibe so far and is curious to see where it goes.
Hi Louis! I’m Harry, nice to meet you. Welcome to Chicago, the city of unpredictable weather. I don’t have an OF page if that helps verify I’m not a scammer. Here is my Instagram where you can verify my identity and we can continue to chat on there if you’d like.
Less than a minute after hitting send, Harry receives a notification that louist91 has sent a follow request. As soon as he clicks on Louis’ profile he feels a wave of warmth that travels to the pit of his stomach as he browses the pictures. This guy is gorgeous, with sparkling blue eyes and rugged facial hair that Harry could just lick. But he won’t. This is about having a buddy to chill with and the making of a potential new friendship.
As soon as Harry accepts the request he receives a video call from Louis, it’s startling and he quickly moves to answer it. There are the captivating blue eyes again accompanied by a charming beautiful smile.
“Hey, sorry I got too excited after seeing your pictures I had to verify you’re real,” Louis admits, his smirk turning bashful.
Harry runs a hand through his hair, he brushed it this morning, right? Oh yeah, he did, good. He chuckles, “No problem. Hi!” He waves awkwardly at the screen displaying one of the most beautiful men he’s ever seen.
Louis responds with his own chuckle. “Hello, nice to meet you,” his accent is the cherry on top of a gorgeous man cake.
Harry glances at the time, it’s early afternoon. Good enough. “You free now?” it comes out of his mouth before he could really think about it.
Louis's eyes widen but recovers almost too quickly for Harry to notice. “Sure, yeah,” he looks off the camera at something, before nodding. “Yep, want to meet for a cuppa first?”
“Yeah, that’s a good idea,” Harry agrees. It is the internet after all.
“Right. Got any favorite spots?”
Harry attempts to think quickly but his mind is drawing a blank all of a sudden. He has to do a quick web search, which annoys him because now he looks like he doesn’t know his own city.
“Are you familiar with Sol Cafe, on Howard?”
Louis's face tells Harry that he has no idea what was just said. Harry laughs. “Okay, then Sol Cafe it is. Meet in an hour?”
At that, Louis flashes that gorgeous set of teeth he’s got. “Sounds like a date,” he confirms before they hang up.
Harry’s chest feels a little tighter than usual, so he breathes deeply. So it’s really happening then. He’s going to meet a stranger from the internet on the three year anniversary of his husband’s death.
Cool.