Chapter Text
The scouts have always been a deadly regime. We knew what we were getting into when we joined, but we didn’t know to the fullest extent. Countless sacrifices just to save the lives of individuals that may or may not be grateful for it was taxing, yet we did it anyway.
We met not too long after entering the scouts. I was originally in the Military Police, but the corruption and toxic masculine arrogance was too overbearing for me to handle. So I left. And if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be in my current predicament.
It originally started when Sasha came to my cottage. I was tending to the greenhouse when I heard glass shatter from the other side. Hastily turning around, I saw the infamous Sasha Blouse, in other words, my partner. You see, our relationship had always been interesting. I’ve never been romantically attracted to people, but Sasha was. Both of us had to get out of our comfort zones for this relationship, but it worked for us till the end.
Anyway, she came for one reason, and one reason only. FOR CUDDLES (〃ω〃). Cuddle sessions were part of our daily routine. It sounds excessive, but when you’re a scout, spending time and feeling the people that you care for grounds you. But this time was different. There was an air of fear in her entire demeanor that threw me into a loop. With the upcoming events, everybody was acting like this, but I could tell that this was different.
“Heyyy Tato”
“….” The silence was deafening. Sasha’s only response was to tackle me, effectively slamming me to the ground.
“WOAH! I missed you too?!?!” Next thing I knew, I was being picked up, thrown on our blanket fort, and stripped to my undergarments.
Only three words fell from Sasha’s plump lips, “I need you…”
WHAT?!?! My mind was racing. We briefly talked about sex a few times, but we never talked about if we were going to or when.
“Th- This is so sudden Sash! I don’t think we’re ready yet e-”
“…To listen to me. I need you to listen to me for just a few minutes,” She said exasperated.
“WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST SAY THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE DUMBASS!! I THOUGHT…” I kept on rambling for who knows how long. Once I stopped, I realized that Sasha had already prepared food and drinks.
“Ya done?”
With a sigh, I nodded. She set the food down and layed down, gently pulling my head to her bare breasts, the soft feeling almost lulling me to sleep.
“I’m only gonna say this once, so listen carefully…
I have a titan form.
My heart dropped. Possible reasons as to why and how she turned racked my brain for what felt like hours. Sasha always talked about the horrors that Armin shared with her about being a titan. The mental strain along with the inherited responsibility to fight for Paradis straying her away from the thought of carrying the lineage. And what happened with Reiner…It strayed her further away from the thought.
“Why?”
The weight of the question made the silence more deafening.
Then, she spoke.
“I had no choice.”
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAD NO CHOICE?! HOW COULD-“
“I don’t even know myself, okay. All I remember is drinking some wine that Niccolo gave me and then I passed out. What happened after was hazy, but I do remember him freaking out about the wine before I lost consciousness,” Sasha said the last part with
apprehension as if she sensed my awakening anger.
“So it’s Niccolo’s fault, but it’s yours as well,” after steadying my frustration, I continued. “You know damn well that you can’t trust people, not even Eldians.”
“I know but…”
“NO ‘BUTS’! With the amount of times that people that you loved and cared for have betrayed you, you should understand how crucial it is to not trust anybody, not even me. Anybody can turn against you, even if they don’t want to,” I said all of this with a heavy heart. After being extremely close to Annie, Bertholdt, and Reiner, I knew firsthand the pain of unwanted betrayal.
“Don’t you think I know this? Don’t you think I understand this?! My clock is ticking okay?!”
“What..”
“There are some things that I want to do. So many things that I haven’t seen yet that I have always wanted to see. But no matter the damn circumstance, I’m gonna die real fucking soon. Whether it’s because of the wine or because I get shot by some little girl… I’M GONNA DIE SOON.”
Sasha was talking so fast that it was hard to comprehend. My mind was reeling with the information presented. She’s gonna get shot? By a child no less?
“Wait… you can see your future?”
“Yeah. I think it’s some sort of weird after effect that shifters get. ‘Cause remember when Armin was telling us about how Eren had flashbacks of his dad’s past.”
“But that isn’t the same thing. Also there’s a shit ton of history with Eren and his father. You’re just shifter because of some wine.
“Now you know I don’t know the answer, so let’s just move on,” she said firmly. While I didn’t want to, I knew that there would just be more confusion on both sides.
“Ok then. What are the things that you were talking about wanting to do?”
“Well…”
…
“Why in the Ymir did you take me all the way out here?”
“You wanted to know what I was talking about.”
“Well yeah but what does this…” Before I could even finish my sentence, Sasha transformed between my very eyes. “Yo WHAT THE FUCK!”
For a second, she looked so graceful and beautiful, even if she’s a titan. That was until I was forcefully being picked up.
“I AIN’T GOIN’ NOWHERE! SO CHILL THE FUCK OUT!” It sort of seemed like she lessened her grip after I yelled at her, as if she understood what I was saying. This wasn’t an extremely uncommon phenomenon. While it was rare, there were multiple recorded cases of this happening, but that was when Erwin was still alive. I remembered hearing multiple discussions between Erwin and Hanji regarding this, but they never found any legitimate way to prove their ideas. The thing is, for a titan to actually be able to undergo cognitive thinking there must be a fully functioning body inside. From what we knew, this has only been seen in Eren, Reiner, Bert, Annie, and Zeke.
So why was Sasha able to experience this?
She should’ve been brainless…right?
“So why’d ya bring me up here Sasha?” I needed to know more about this. This could be a game changer to our understanding of how titans and shifters work.
Suddenly, her jaw snapped wide open. I remember impatiently waiting in anticipation for any sort of word to come out.
“What are you waiti-!!!” Next thing I knew, I was being recklessly thrown into the titans mouth.
Before I could even get my bearings, Sasha’s tongue started moving as if she was trying to swallow me whole.
To be continued…