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Shelby Goodkind was a normal 17 year old girl from Texas. She had competed in beauty pageants since she was able to walk, she was a member of her local youth church and set to be the Head of her high school cheer squad in her senior year. Shelby had 2 siblings, Melody, age 10 and Spencer, age 13. Her father, Dave, was a pastor at their local church and her mother, Jobeth, was a stay at home mom. In the Goodkind household whatever Dave said went. Dave Goodkind ran a tight ship, he always knew everything about his children and expected nothing but perfection in everything they did.
Shelby was getting ready to apply to college next year so she had decided to volunteer at her local youth centre for the summer. She knew that she wanted to work with children when she was older so she thought this would be a great addition to her application. Her father had told her that she could go to Texas A&M when the time came. Shelby wished that she could have had more of a choice of which school she would attend but she knew that this would be her way out of Dave's strict household. She was also waiting for her 18th birthday but with her birthday being in March she had a while to wait. The reason she was so excited was not because of the progression to adulthood but because on your 18th birthday the name of your soulmate will appear written somewhere on your body. She knew that the name that would appear is going to affirm all of the thoughts she had been having. Shelby Goodkind was gay. She had known for some time and had had time to come to terms with this. She had not told anyone though. Her dad would not react well to this information. He believed that being gay was a sin and had helped to send some teenagers to church camp to help them to 'reaffirm their faith'. Even with soulmate tattoos there were some people that believed that everyone still had a choice to make. This choice only applied to those that had the name of someone the same sex as them. So Shelby was not planning to come out until she was no longer dependant on her father's money.
Today was her first day at the youth centre. She would be working with underprivileged teenagers in the next town over. She introduced herself to the youth leader, Callum, on her arrival. And was shown around their facilities. They had a gym with a basketball hoop and one ball, a rec area with some art supplies and games and a small kitchen with snacks and juice.
“Well, there you go. That's everything you need to know. Just remember that some of the children who come to us here don't have a great home life so this is their escape from that. School and here are the only constants that they have so we make sure that we provide a nurturing environment for them, to teach them things that they don't get to learn at home” Callum explained.
“Understood” said Shelby 'I hope that I can be a good role model for the children here'.
“I'm sure you will be. Well off you go, the children should be here soon”. With that Callum left her stood in the gym.
Shelby walked over to the lone basketball sitting in the corner of the room, she would often play with Spencer on weekends in their driveway. She bounced the ball a few times and lined up her shot. The ball bounced off the rim and back towards her.
“Not enough height” a voice from behind her said. Shelby, startled, turned around and saw a short brunette standing in the doorway. She was wearing large basketball shorts that made her little legs looks even shorter and an oversized hoody with wnba printed on the front. She had long dark hair that was pulled back into a low ponytail.
“Oh, goodness you made me jump” Shelby smiled. “I'm sure you're much better than I am" she bounced the ball towards the girl.
This was the first time that Shelby met Toni Shalifoe. She was a feisty little 13 year old who had a great talent for basketball. She learned that the young girl had been in the foster system for some years and bounced around from home to home. She would often get into trouble at school due to her strong temper but it seemed that sports is what would calm the girl down. So after school Shelby would come to the youth centre and shoot hoops with the young girl.
“Y'know I have a younger brother your age. He also likes basketball, maybe I can bring him to play with you as well”
“You don't like playing with me?”
“Of course I do Toni, I just thought it might be nice for you to play with someone your age. I could bring him after school tomorrow.”
'”Okay, is he better than you?”
“Yes, much better than me” Shelby giggled at the young girl's cheek.
Shelby stood by her word and the next day she picked Spencer up from school and brought him to the youth centre with her.
Thus began their inevitable friendship. The two hit it off straight away and become fast friends. Toni began spending time around the Goodkind house, especially over the summer break. The two best friends were both starting high school in September and were very happy they would be attending the same one.
Shelby would often take Toni home after the two had spent the day running around playing basketball in their driveway.
“So how do you feel about starting high school tomorrow, Toni?” Shelby asked as she drove the young girl home.
“Excited, but a little nervous.” Toni said in a quiet voice.
“It'll be great, Toni. And I'll be there to look after you.” Shelby gave Toni one of her winning smiles and a quick wink.
“You'll be too busy with all your senior friends to be bothered with a freshman”
“I'll never be too busy for you! I'll be leading the cheer squad in chanting for you when you're on the court.”
“I probably won't even make the team”
“Are you kidding me? You're awesome, Toni! You're way better than the boys I've seen play at our school.” Shelby could see the light blush that settled on the brunette's cheeks.
Shelby walked through the doors of the high school ready for her first day of her senior year. She was getting closer to escaping this small town and starting her own life. She knew she had to do well this year if she had a shot at getting into Texas A&M.
As she walked to her locker she was greeted with smiles and small waves from her classmates. Shelby was popular, she couldn't deny that, but it wasn't something bragged about either. She gathered her things and headed for her homeroom.
“Hi, Shelby!” her brother greeted her as she walked into the cafeteria.
“Hey, Spencer! How’s your first day going?”
“It's great” he said excitedly.
“and you, Toni?” she questioned the young girl stood behind her brother.
“Okay” she responded, not meeting Shelby’s eye.
“She got detention” Spencer said.
“What? Already?” Shelby looked between the two. “What happened?” She questioned.
Toni was looking down at her shoes again, a look of shame across her features.
“Spence, why don't you go and get your lunch, yeah?” Shelby prompted. The young boy nodded and made his way over to a group of boys on the other side of the cafeteria.
“I know a good spot, wanna come?” Shelby watched the young girl's shoulder shrug but her gaze didn't move from the floor at her feet.
Shelby bumped their shoulders and gave her a genuine smile. “Come on, you can't say no to me, can you?”
Toni’s gaze finally lifted and upon meeting Shelby’s, a small smile graced her features. “okay” she said quietly.
Shelby led them to a patch of land on the far side of the school that was shaded by a group of large trees.
Shelby sat down at the foot of one of the trees and pulled a sandwich from her bag. She offered half of the sandwich to Toni who was still standing. Toni took the offering and sat herself down next to the older girl.
They sat in silence eating what Mrs Goodkind had packed for Shelby's lunch. Shelby didn't want to force the young girl to tell her what had happened that morning, she knew that she would tell her when she was ready to. Shelby closed her eyes and allowed the early September sun to wash over her. She loved this time of year, the heat of the summer was slowly disappearing as fall set in.
“He was talking about my mom” a quiet voice next to her spoke.
Shelby opened her eyes and turned her head to look at Toni. She didn't say anything and waited for her to continue.
“He used to live near us and he was saying things about her and I just got so angry” Toni's fingers had curled into a fist and her body had become tense. Shelby reached out and placed her hand over the fist. Toni took a deep breath and her body relaxed slightly.
“So I hit him”
The incident from the first day of school was not isolated and Toni would frequently get detention for fighting in the halls. Shelby tried her best to help Toni to control her outbursts, never judging her for her actions. They spent many lunchtimes sitting under the trees at the far end of the school, sharing Shelby's lunch because Toni's foster parents hadn't given her anything. Shelby loved to make the girl smile, they would talk about basketball. Toni would tell her about how much better she was getting and how she would beat all the boys in gym class. She wanted to join the varsity team and she began to channel her pent up energy into the sport.
Toni and Spencer would spend weekends at the local park shooting hoops. Shelby would drive them to the park, mostly leaving them to it and meeting her friends at the mall. Occasionally, Shelby would stay and attempt to play too. They would both laugh at her poor attempts though.
It was March 12th and a letter had just arrived in the mail. Shelby had high hopes when she pulled the letter from the mailbox. It was a thick envelope so she had a feeling that it wasn't a rejection. She ripped the letter open, while standing on the driveway, scanned the letter quickly and ran inside.
“I got in!” Shelby announced as she entered the kitchen with a huge smile on her face and the letter clutched in her hand.
“We knew you would, dear” said Jobeth, who rounded the island and pulled her daughter into a tight hug.
“Very good, Shelby. A good early birthday present as well.” Said Dave matter of factly. This was about the most praise that Dave would give his children, so Shelby took it.
Shelby drove Spencer and Toni home from school that same day.
"Toni, I forgot to tell you. Shelby got into Texas!" Spencer said, he was very proud of his sister.
"You did?" Toni questioned. Shelby looked over and gave her a smile and a short nod. "Well done, that's awesome. Can we come and visit you when you go?"
"Of course, you can! But I'm not going until September." Shelby let out a short laugh.
"What are you doing for your birthday tomorrow? Are you excited to get your tattoo?" Toni asked inquisitively.
"Well birthdays are always family days for us Goodkinds so we'll probably be at home. We could all play some basketball? And I'm not sure excited is the word I'd use but I am looking forward to it"
"Are you sure it's okay that I'm here for your birthday?" Toni asked
"Of course it is! You're part of the family and plus I want you there." Shelby could see the small smile that settled on the young girl's face.
Shelby had a plan for her tattoo. She had a name that would appear is going to be female so she set her alarm to wake her before anyone else. That way she can read it, cover it up and tell them it's in an intimate area so they won't look. Then she can tell them it's a boys name, she had decided upon Thomas French.
So that is exactly what she did, she set her alarm for 5am. A person's tattoo can arrive at any point the morning of their birthday so it was no use waiting up for it to appear.
Her alarm went off at 5am and Shelby jumped out of bed. She could feel the nervousness settle in her stomach as she stood in front of the mirror.
She took a deep breath and began to inspect her body to find the name that should have appeared. It wasn't on her arms or her legs, so she began to remove her clothes to search further. It was once she removed her t-shirt that she found the small black letters etched into her skin. They were located just under her left breast. Which at least meant that she wouldn't have to go through the trouble of covering it up everyday.
She stepped closer to the mirror so that she could read the name so eloquently etched into her skin. She let out a sigh of relief as she read the first name, it was definitely female. It was the surname that made her stomach jump. She couldn't believe what she was reading or her luck. Of all the names it could be, why did it have to be this one.
The name etched onto her skin was Antonia Shalifoe.
Shelby let her thoughts drift to the young girl that was currently sleeping in their guest room. She had always felt like they had a different bond, she felt quite protective over the younger girl and had tried her best to help her with her transition to high school. Even breaking up a few fights she had been having with one of the boys.
She knew that she couldn't tell Toni that she was destined to be her soulmate. This complicated the whole situation. She didn't want to lie to the younger girl but if she did tell her then her father could find out and it wouldn't end well for either of them.
Shelby followed through with her plan. She told her family a fake name and faked excitement when she was asked. Shelby had spent years perfecting the act she played to her parents so this was just the same. She felt guilty for lying to the younger girl but she couldn't risk her father finding out. She also didn't think it would be fair to tell Toni. There was a significant age gap between the two and Shelby would never do anything until the younger girl turned 18 anyway. She didn't want to take those years away from Toni. She could experience so much in those four years.
She found it hard at first to be around Toni, the guilt of the secret she kept was eating at her. But she knew it was for the best and they began to fall back into normality and the letters etched into her skin sat in the far corners of her mind.
The day had come. They were on their way to Texas A&M to drop Shelby off to college. It was a day of mixed emotions, she was happy that she would finally be away from the clutches of her father but the thought of being away from her siblings and Toni was one that made her sad.
She met her roommate, Leah, who was fairly quiet and would mostly read books at her desk.
Shelby settled in easily, enjoying her classes and embracing the freedom of college life. She went to a few parties and experimented with alcohol and girls. It never really felt right though and the letters on her chest ached. Ached for her to reunite with her soulmate. Being away from the younger girl was hard, she saw her when she came home for the holidays and got frequent updates on how her basketball career was going.
When Toni made the varsity team, Shelby attended her first match. Surprising the young girl and sitting on the front row with Spencer. Toni beamed when she spotted her and Shelby let out a loud cheer as her name was announced.
Toni had grown so much in the time he had been away and Shelby was so proud of how far the girl had come. She had much fewer outbursts and was successfully chasing her dream. But Shelby still felt the pang of guilt wash over her at the secret she was keeping from her. It was better this way, she would tell herself.
Shelby was in her 3rd year when Spencer had learnt to drive and drove himself and Toni to visit her. It was lunchtime when the pair arrived and loudly entered Shelby's apartment. She had found herself an apartment at the start of that school year after finding studying in halls hard.
“Hey, sis” Spencer greeted, the boy had grown so much and now towered over his older sister. He gave her a short hug, throwing his bag down at the door and slumped on the couch.
Toni was now in the doorway that Spencer had just filled. She was much shorter than him but much more athletic. Her long brown hair was pulled into a ponytail and the tank top she was wearing showed off her muscular frame.
Shelby held out her arms and the younger girl beamed at her, falling into her arms. The hug was much longer than the one she had with her brother. Shelby felt complete with the smaller girl, like a piece of her had been missing and now she felt whole again.
Spencer’s deep voice was what finally broke them apart, “what's for lunch? I’m starving”
After Shelby had fed the two teenagers, Shelby had shown them around town. Showing them her favourite spots around her university, all of the beautiful places she had found.
Later that evening Shelby found herself on her couch with the younger girl pressed against her side. Her couch was only small and wasn't really big enough for the three of them.
“So, Toni, how is basketball?” Shelby questioned.
“They're set to go to the championship finals this season” Spencer spoke up, he stood from the couch. “I'm going to shower. Toni tell her about that 3 pointer you made last week”
Toni's face lit up and she took Shelby on a detailed journey of the full match which ended with Toni demonstrating how she took the shot and collapsing onto the couch. Shelby beamed at her, she loved seeing her so happy and free.
“I'm so proud of you, Toni” Shelby turned her head to the side to look at the girl next to her. Their faces were closer than she had expected. She let her eyes flit around the younger girl's face, taking in her features. She had missed seeing Toni, they hadn't seen much of each other since she left for college and Shelby had found it hard to be around her and not tell her the secret that was burning on her chest. She could have sworn she saw Toni's eyes flicker down to her own lips and lean slighting closer.
“Toni, I…” Shelby whispered, “I want to…”
She was interrupted by the bathroom door swinging open and Spencer walking through the doorway in a towel. The pair turned at the noise and shifted apart slightly.
“Toni, have you told her about Regan yet?” Spencer said, running a towel over his wet hair.
“Regan? Who’s Regan?” Shelby looked between the two teens.
“I can't believe you haven't mentioned her yet. All you ever do is talk about her.” He threw the now damp towel at Toni.
“Shut up, Spence” Toni caught the towel and threw it back at him, harder than he had.
“She’s so pretty, Spencer. I think I love her, Spencer” Spencer badly imitated the brunette. “Toni’s got a girlfriend” he directed at Shelby.
Shelby felt her heart sink into her gut. She looked over at Toni, the young girl was blushing. Shelby put her signature fake smile onto her lips and pressed the girl for details. Toni gushed about how perfect she was, she told her about their first date. How they had sat in the bed of the other girl's truck and watched the stars. The younger girl seemed so happy, so at peace and Shelby was happy for her. She really was, but she couldn't lie and say that it didn't hurt. She knew that part of that was her own doing, of course someone was going to snatch her up.
Since the two teenagers had been to visit Shelby at college, Shelby had returned to Fort Travis less. She sent fewer messages to the young brunette. This was how she found herself, over 6 months later having barely spoken to, much less seen the girl who’s name scarred her chest.
It was April 5th, the day that Shelby had been scared of for 4 years; Toni's 18th birthday. She had come home for spring break, she had always come home and made sure to never miss Toni's birthday. Toni was always so happy to see her, although she doubts that she will be this time.
It's a Saturday so she knows that Toni will be at home in the morning, she heads out early so as to not disturb her family.
Shelby reaches the front door of the foster home that Toni is currently living in. She had made sure that her foster parents were out before making her way towards the house. She took a deep breath and raised her hand to knock gently on the door. It took what felt like an eternity for the door to swing open, although it was not Toni that answered the door. It was another young girl that Shelby only recognised from pictures on instagram, Toni's friend, Martha.
Martha looked at Shelby with a disappointed expression and made no attempt to allow Shelby over the threshold.
“She doesn't want to speak to you right now.”
Her words hit Shelby square in the chest, the consequences of her secret finally hitting her. She held back the tears that welled in her eyes.
“Please. If I could just…” her voice cracked.
“She needs some space.” Martha moved to close the door. Shelby put her hand out to stop it from shutting.
“Can you at least give her this?” She held out the neatly wrapped present and card. “Please”
Martha took them and closed the door. The sob that had been threatening to break out finally did and Shelby sank to her knees on the doorstep.
Spencer had been over to see Toni later in the day, he had tried to convince Shelby to go with him but she declined. When he came back that evening he was his normal self, Shelby assumed that Toni hadn't yet told him about her tattoo. She ached to know how the young girl was, what she was feeling.
Spring break came to a close and she had heard nothing from the younger girl. All of her phone calls and text messages had gone unanswered. It was the morning that she was heading back to college, her siblings were at school, her dad at work and her mom was out shopping for groceries. She was gathering the last of her things to load into her car when the doorbell rang.
With hands still laden with miscellaneous items, not yet packed into her bag, she struggled to pull the door open and stopped dead at the face that was revealed on the other side.
“Toni…I…” she stuttered, struggling to hold onto the items in her hands. She unceremoniously placed them on the table beside the door and gestured for Toni to come inside. She was taken wholly by surprise. She did not expect Toni to come to see her.
“Shouldn't you be at school?” Shelby questioned as she closed the door behind them.
“Are you seriously going to lecture me about my attendance right now?” Toni span around to face her, anger and hurt displayed across her features.
“I'm sorry, I…”
“I only came here to give you this” Toni’s voice was cold. She reached into her bag and thrust a package into Shelby's hands. She looked down to see the sealed birthday gift that she had left with Martha 2 weeks ago. It was slightly battered, probably from being in Toni's bag but there had been no attempt made to open the gift.
Shelby opened her mouth to speak but no words emerged, tears pricked at the corners of her eyes and she felt as if she had been punched in the gut. Toni turned and reached for the door.
“Wait. Please” Shelby managed to get out. “Just let me explain”
“You lied to me!” Toni shouted as she span round, her face was red and her hands curled into fists. Shelby flinched at the anger in her voice, Toni had never shouted at her before and Shelby had never before given her a reason to.
“You lied to me for four years. I thought I could trust you but you're just like everyone else.”
“I was scared” Shelby squeaked, tears now rolling down her cheeks.
Toni scoffed “You were scared. You left and said nothing. Just like everyone else always does because I'm not worth it. I'm never worth it”
“No, Toni, that's not true. You are worth everything.” Shelby stepped closer to her. “My dad was going to send me to a camp if he found out, to force me to change and I can't change. I can't change the way I feel about you.” Shelby reached for the younger girl's hand, it was no longer clenched in a fist. Her shoulders were slumber and she looked defeated. “I'm sorry that I never told you but I was trying to protect you too. You were 13, Toni. You were so young, how was I supposed to tell you that I'm your soulmate? I would have been taking so much away from you, it wasn't fair.”
Toni pulled her hand from Shelby's grasp. “You could have told me later, you've known for four years and you never thought to mention it. You had to wait for me to find out when it was permanently written into my fucking skin. Do you know how much it hurt to know that I wasn't enough for you? That the love I've felt all these years finally made sense but that you didn't feel it too, because if you did how could you not tell me. I should have known that it wouldn't matter that I had a soulmate because no-one stays, no-one really loves me. I'm not worth it.”
“Toni, that's not true. You are worth it. I thought about telling you so many times, I almost did when you visited last year but then Spencer said you had a girlfriend and you looked so happy. It hurt to see someone else bring you the happiness that I couldn't but I was glad that you had found some peace.” Shelby was blinking away the tears now. “I'm sorry I made you feel this way, I never meant to hurt you like this.”
“You betrayed my trust, Shelby. You know how hard it is for me to trust anyone and I thought you were the one person that would never lie to me. I was wrong. You just like everyone else. A liar.” Toni retreated through the front door of the Goodkind's house, leaving it open in her wake.
Shelby called after her but the younger girl was gone. For the second time over spring break Shelby found herself on her knees, tears streaming down her face and her heart breaking a little more.
Shelby returned to her apartment that day, she felt alone, ashamed and defeated. She didn't know what she could do to make it up to the brunette. She threw herself into her studies, determined to do well and not waste the last four years of her life. She sent messages to Toni, almost everyday, all of which were left unanswered.
It was graduation day, Shelby found herself looking in the mirror, standing in a beautiful yellow summer dress, her cap and gown in place as well. She was graduating at the top of her class, she had her dream job lined up for September and she still felt sad. Her heart ached and the smile she had on her lips was well practised. Her parents were proud of her and had come with her siblings to celebrate her achievements.
“So Spencer, are you ready to follow in your sister's footsteps?” Dave questioned his son as the family sat at a local restaurant for a celebratory dinner.
Spencer shifted under his father's gaze and nodded slowly. Spencer was graduating the following weekend and then attending Texas A&M to study business. Dave always had high expectations of his children and failure was not a word that was ever uttered in the Goodkind household.
“Are you looking forward to graduation, Spence?” Shelby tried to divert the attention away from her father.
“ Yeah everyone's so excited, I can't wait to show off my diploma.” Spencer beamed.
“Hey, how is Toni? Did she get in where she wanted to?” Shelby questioned
“Did she not tell you? She got into UCLA but got a full ride to Duke for basketball. I think she's still deciding. I can't believe she didn't tell you. She found out over spring break.”
Toni could be going to North Carolina. She had always dreamed of going to UCLA but Duke is one of the best universities for sports. Shelby's new job was also in North Carolina, she wondered if Spencer had told her this. Shelby had only applied to positions out of state, this was finally her chance to be fully independent, break free from her family and start her life the way she wanted to. Her father would never approve of her lifestyle if he knew, leaving Texas was the only way to escape his grasp. She had felt some freedom at university but her parents would visit frequently and expect her to visit also. This way she would be far enough that anyone visiting would have to organise it with her first as it was not a short trip.
Shelby had settled into her new position well, her coworkers were really nice and the kids in her class loved her. She had found a lovely little 2 bedroom apartment on the edge of town, her balcony overlooked a beautiful field surrounded by large trees.
It was Sunday evening and Shelby had finished her planning for the morning and was reading a book on the balcony when there was a knock at the door. Shelby didn't tend to have too many visitors, the old lady from downstairs would sometimes come up for a chat, but she had seen her earlier that day. She put her book down and rose from her cosy spot. She had a blanket over her lap and a mug of hot chocolate at her side. She made her way to the front door and twisted the doorknob. Her heart skipped a beat as her eyes connected with the beautiful brown eyes she had been missing.
“Toni, how did you…?” Shelby didn't know how Toni had ended up at her front door, she hadn't spoken to her since she left the Goodkind house 6 months ago.
“Hi, can I come in?” Toni said sheepishly.
Shelby could only nod as she pushed the door open wider and allowed the younger girl into her home.
Toni looked around the apartment as she removed her coat and shoes at the door. There was a hint of a smile playing on her lips as she took in her surroundings.
“It's very you” Toni said as she turned towards Shelby who was closing the door. “I like it”
“Thank you” Shelby said, still a little shocked to be seeing the younger girl in her apartment. Toni looked well, she hadn't grown since she had last watched her walk across her high school stage for graduation but looked as if she had grown more muscular. Shelby couldn't help but admire how attractive she was, how her clothing was fitting her and how beautiful she looked.
“I got a full ride to Duke” Toni began to explain, Shelby nodded. “Spencer told me you had gotten a job out here and it took me a while to decide between here and UCLA. I didn't know if I needed to be further away.” Shelby felt the guilt bounce around her chest but she allowed Toni to carry on.
“I realised I should make the decision based on what I wanted not on where you were so I said yes to UCLA” Shelby raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Clearly I changed my mind though, I couldn't stand the thought of being so far away from you, despite all the hurt I was feeling. So I changed my mind. I've been trying to pluck up the courage to come here for weeks. Spencer gave me your address before he left for A&M.” Toni stepped closer to her and reached for her hand. They were still standing near the doorway, Shelby was afraid if she moved or spoke that none of this would be real and Toni would disappear.
Toni was close to her now, she could smell her cologne and could examine the small features on her face. Her eyes flitted between Toni's own, which kept darting down towards Shelby’s lips.
Toni came ever closer and whispered “I've missed you” before bringing their lips together in the softest of kisses. Shelby's chest exploded, kisses someone had never felt so right. She had only kissed a few people in her life but she knew she could kiss Toni forever. Toni sighed into her as Shelby brought her hand to caress her jaw.
Toni was the first to pull away, she rested her forehead against the older blonde's.
“I've wanted to do that for as long as I can remember” Toni said with a grin. She walked over to Shelby's couch and looked over at the blonde who was still standing in the same spot, too afraid to move.
“I actually came here to talk to you, if you'd like to?” Toni gestured to the couch between them. Shelby nodded and made her way across the living room and sat down next to Toni.
“Toni, I'm…” Shelby began but Toni cut her off.
“How's the new job going?” Shelby cooked an eyebrow at her “Just, please. We'll get to all that in a minute.”
They talked about Shelby's job and the children in her class. Toni talked about college and her new team. She was enjoying her classes and basketball was going well so far but they had yet to play their first game. They talked for what felt like forever, just like they used to, like nothing had changed. But the elephant in the room felt as if it was getting larger the longer they chose not to talk about it.
“Toni” Shelby turned her body so that she was fully facing Toni. “I'm sorry that I hurt you, Toni. I never meant to lie to you.”
“Then why did you?” Toni turned and matched Shelby's position on the sofa.
“At first it was because I was scared that my dad would find out and send me away and then I think I just didn't know how to tell you and I was scared to lose you. And then I did anyway”
“You didn't lose me Shelby, I'm here aren't I” Toni reached for Shelby's hand. “I just needed some space to understand why and to stop hurting a bit”
“I just wish I'd had the courage to tell you when you visited with Spencer that weekend. I almost did” Shelby ducked her head in embarrassment. Toni placed a finger under the blonde's chin and met her gaze.
“Shelby, we can't change what happened. I'm not saying that I can forget what you did but we have to try, right? We shouldn't be scared about something that could be good.” Toni leant forwards and brought their lips together once again.