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The plan went smoothly, and Wrench and Marcus collaborated perfectly, completing the hacking operation together, saving the city, or modestly speaking, even saving the world. However, as they were withdrawing, an unexpected incident occurred: an explosion.
That damn explosion, the world collapsed in an instant.
When Wrench regained consciousness, the surroundings had turned into chaotic ruins. He couldn't see the summer sun, only yellow smoke filling the air, and dust made him involuntarily cough, the action stabbing at the ribs where the fracture was. Ignoring the condition of his own blood, Wrench tried to move to free himself from the rubble, but all he felt was heaviness. He immediately realized his legs were buried in debris and wreckage.
At that moment, Wrench heard Marcus swearing, which reassured him. He couldn't help but laugh, but it immediately turned into a grimace of pain, pulling at his wounds.
"I'm now a facedown Vitruvius," Wrench said. He wanted to touch Marcus, but he couldn't see where he was. His hands only found the rigid and rough debris.
"We'll be fine," Wrench heard Marcus say, but his brain couldn't determine Marcus's location based on the sound.
Wrench felt pain and coldness. He'd better think of some comforting words for Marcus or himself.
"We still have a Star Wars marathon to watch..." Wrench tried not to make his voice sound too painful. "...missing one person, it's like..." There should have been a Star Wars joke afterward, but Wrench's brain stalled, and he couldn't think of one.
"Yeah," Marcus said.
"We... is this six feet in the ground?" Wrench said, uncertain whether it was a joke or a description of reality.
It should be a joke, and Marcus should find it funny, not say seriously, "Not yet, don't talk like that."
Wrench would come up with another joke. When things got out of control, and Wrench felt scared, he became talkative. He had to keep saying something, but now, breathing accompanied by all-over pain made speaking more difficult, making thinking difficult.
Maybe he could go straight to the point, like expressing his feelings: he felt terrible and scared. But Wrench thought that if Marcus heard that, he would genuinely start worrying, even if Marcus himself was a mess and trapped in the wreckage, feeling powerless. Marcus would be angry at himself for not being able to help Wrench.
Perhaps Wrench overestimated his position in Marcus's heart, but Marcus was a good guy, always caring, even if not the kind of concern Wrench wanted.
What Wrench could be sure of was that, no matter the situation, he couldn't handle it now.
He was afraid that Marcus would be upset, yet he also feared that Marcus wouldn't be upset to that extent. It was a selfish thought, and an even more selfish thought was that he was actually happy to have Marcus by his side, happy to hear Marcus's voice, not having to leave alone.
Or he could say, "I love you so much, I've always loved you." He wanted to say it, the words were at the tip of his tongue, but he didn't say it, maybe because he was too cold, maybe because he still retained some sanity and hadn't gone mad to that extent. If he said it, Marcus would understand what had happened, Marcus was always so smart and understanding.
Wrench was not good at goodbyes, so maybe this wasn't the best time for him to say it. He had expressed love in his own way, so many times. When they sat together on the roof, shoulder to shoulder, watching the city skyline, when they shared one earphone at the beach, watching the waves crashing on the rocks, and the night they drank beer together until higher than the Empire State Building, these were all moments when Wrench expressed love in his own way.
Although Wrench was not good at goodbyes and expressing emotions, he could be a good liar.
"When this shit is over, let's go to Chicago for pizza," he heard himself say. This statement, is a lie, but could be spoken.
He wanted to ask, "Will you miss me?" So, he added, "You'll like it; actually, after trying it, you won’t forget it and might even want to go to eat it again."
"Maybe not, some things are easily forgotten." Wrench didn't know if he said this sentence, maybe he did, but it sounded like an indistinguishable moan to Marcus.
Wrench's brain couldn't focus; he couldn't be sure if he had said anything. So, he decided to shut up. He thought of the beach, remembered the sea breeze blowing off Marcus's hat, and remembered he said something, making Marcus burst into laughter. The sunlight was on Marcus, in his warm brown eyes, making Wrench want to kiss, wanting to swallow down Marcus's laughter. But for some reason, in the end, love and impulse only turned into a harmless pat on the shoulder. Was this their experience, or just another daydream? If it did happen, would Marcus still remember it many years later? Would he remember that there was a person who used all his self-control to suppress the impulse to kiss him? These questions had no answers, but they didn't matter.
Wrench had a to-do list, recording things he wanted to do with Marcus but hadn't done yet. Now thinking about it, maybe Marcus didn't want to do them together, or maybe he did. Fortunately, in the future, Marcus could find someone else to continue. Star Wars marathon, pizza place, the sea, without Wrench, Marcus could handle it.