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It's been how long...?
One week or maybe two, since the day that Aerith's healing rain poured down and healed everyone in Edge who was affected by Geostigma, including Cloud and Denzel.
Even though that rain can heal those unknown disasters as if they never existed, it seems it can't mend the wounds within her heart.
She should be glad, right? He came back safe and sound.
Everything has gone back to normal – her bar, her daily life, her home, and her family.
She tries to act like she used to before: greeting him in the morning with a cup of black coffee before he goes for delivery , asking him if he will be back for dinner, even staying up late after closing the bar, waiting for him to come home so she can say 'goodnight'.
Yet, still, her heart doesn't feel the same way as it used to.It hurts... every time she looks at Cloud , Her Cloud.
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"Tifa...?"
His voice called her back from her deepest thoughts to reality. He sat on the bar stool at the corner of the bar, his blue eyes staring at her with a mixed feeling – curious and concerned, perhaps?
"Huh?" she almost dropped a wine glass in her hand, wiping it with a towel while lost in her thoughts. Taking a deep breath, she placed it on the shelf behind and turned back to face him.
"You seem... lost in your thoughts. Is it about me?"
Now, she started to think about her teasing words, about SOLDIER being able to read minds.
"No, of course not" Lies,all lies.
"You're lying, I can tell." He frowned , standing up from a bar stool and took a few steps to stand next to her behind the bar counter.
Those azure eyes reflected in her carmine, as if he were trying to read her mind through her eyes, seeking the truths within.
Then she lost again, never having a chance to win, and not wanting to win either.
Maybe this is the perfect time to talk. Running two businesses and raising two kids after saving the world for the second time from Sephiroth and Jenova didn't give them a chance, but now... The bar is already closed, and the kids are out on a trip to the Gold Saucer with Barret.
Maybe this time, she will get the answer that she needs.
"Promise me you won't runaway after we have this conversation"
"Tifa..." His eyes shook for a bit; perhaps he was hurt that she assumed he would run away? Before he closed his eyes, trying to hide that pain, he simply answered "I promise."
"Okay"
Maybe her voice is shaking? She's not sure and doesn't even care.
"Cloud... you took a step back from me, from our family for months, and then you left home for weeks without answering my calls. Do you have any idea how worried I am? How can I tell the kids when they ask me 'where is Cloud'?"
Trembling, tears starting to fall from her eyes, no matter how hard she tried to fight it back.Cloud's hand now holding her shoulder, and his other hand lingers under her eyes, gently brushing away those tears.
"Tifa... I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for failing you again, for abandoning our family, for hurting you, for making you cry. It's all my fault. I should have told you, should have figured it out together with you, with Marlene, with Denzel , with our family"
He pulls her into his warm embrace, the embrace that felt like she shared with him two or three months ago when things between them were okay.
Suddenly, her heart starts to feel something different; it doesn't hurt as much anymore.
"Silly..." She steps back, takes a look at his face, and now she understands; he truly feels guilty about this, his eyes filled with hurt and fear. Tears are still streaming down her cheek, before she starts to giggle and gives him a reassuring smile, which, after living with her for almost two years, she thinks he can understand the meaning behind.
"I'm here. You don't have to bear all the burden alone anymore. That's the reason why I'm here, why our family is here. So if something like this happens, please talk to us because we are a real family, right?"
"Of course, we are." He tightens his embrace, buries his face in the crook of her neck, and murmurs, "Tifa, I don't deserve you."And he truly means what he said, after everything she's done for him—saving his life more times than he can count, piecing him back to himself, fighting beside him, being his light and his strength. Even after how many times he hurt her, she's still here, giving him those reassuring smiles.
"Cloud... don't say that," she gives him a gentle scold, wrapping her arms around him and resting her face on his firm chest, listening to his heartbeat.
And now, like a gentle rain pouring into her heart, soothing , healing those wounds that hurts her before.
"Do you love me?" The question that has been stuck in her mind for a month slips out so easily, too easily this time.
Because she's not afraid anymore, deep down she knew the answer.
"Of course, I love you," Cloud said out loud without any hesitation. His hand caught her cheek,gently brushing it,lovingly.
Her carmine eyes meet his again, without any tears falling down.She gives him a big smile, her beautiful smile that makes his heart swell, and he can't help but smile too.
"Then it's enough." Rising on her feet, she leaned forward and wrapped her arm around his neck, pressing her lips to his.
Her heart is beating so fast, not because of pain or insecurity, not because of the things left unsaid like before, but because it's beating with joy, happiness, and excitement.
And right now, from this day forward, she thinks he can finally live his life. They can finally live their life together, without any guilt, burden, or the ghost of the past.
They finally healed.
And even if those nightmares come back someday, they will be fine.
Because they will face it together.
Because I have you this time.
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