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Maybe Sohee should have seen this coming.
Maybe this has always been the natural end of the weird dynamic between him and Seunghan.
The thing is, the years of maybe-flirting and adoration from Seunghan that was slightly exasperating but kinda endearing– it was all covered by the comforting veneer of knowledge that Seunghan was straight.
He was their token ally friend, perfectly supportive but also never without a girlfriend. Which of course would be the case, he was incredibly handsome, obviously, and by all means treated them like the world.
He was straight, and that was okay, that was great. He was just ignorant of the way that sometimes, in his weakest moments, Sohee thought a little too much about his compliments, about his beautiful sharp eyes and warm gaze focused on him, paying him absolute and full attention.
It was only with the firm assurance that he was straight that he managed to not let it get to him, to keep his sanity being friends with Hong Seunghan, who was everything he could want and wonderfully, painfully out of reach.
Except that comfortable balance was melted away with just one party, just one night with too much alcohol on hand, perfect for bad decisions.
And now Seunghan was on his knees, clinging to his legs for some reason, face flushed bright pink and hair falling messily around his face, dumb smile plastered across his face as he rubs his cheek on Sohee's knees.
"Please, please, Sohee," he whines.
Sohee watches with a strange mix of fascination, disgust, and arousal. This is not good for his mental health at all.
"I would... I would do… fucking anything to fuck you, man. No, no, that's not it. It'd be… making love."
What the fuck is Sohee supposed to say to that?
He reaches down and tries to lift Seunghan up by the shoulders, but he just splays his lanky legs out until he's half on the floor, clutching tighter like Sohee is a toy he's trying to take away from him.
Seunghan hazily looks up at him. "Pretty please? I’ve wanted to ask you for... so long..." he drifts off, seemingly lost in thought.
Sohee stares at him, and thinks. Yeah, this really is not the ideal situation to confront the Thing that's done just fine laying unsaid between them. Sure, Seunghan is hot. Yes, he daydreams about him a little too much. And maybe he can't tamp down the curling in his stomach every time he gets a new girlfriend and treats her like any boyfriend should, with all the charisma and chivalry all of them deserved and more.
But as previously stated, Seunghan is straight. He might think Sohee is cute, or whatever, but that just means he has good taste, not that he actually wants him. It's been a while since he broke up with his latest girlfriend, anyway. He doesn't think Seunghan is the kind of person to do this just to get his dick wet, but... he's drunk, and probably confused.
He opens his mouth to very politely reject him.
"Sure, but only if you bottom."
Sohee clamps his hands over his mouth like it’s not far too late. Why the fuck did he say that?
Well, he knows why he wanted to say it. If Seunghan is really straight, just lonely and horny, maybe this would deter him a bit. Sohee himself doesn't really have any specific preference, but come on, there's a bit of a barrier for a straight guy between maybe letting your bro suck you off and letting him fuck you in the ass.
But he certainly didn't mean to say it out loud. Not just because of Seunghan, but for himself, because now he's actually thinking about it and his cheeks are burning bright red. And it's too late to take it back, because Seunghan's eyes have already brightened, crawling up off the floor and staring up at him like he just got told the best news of his life.
He shakily gets to his feet. Sohee hates being reminded of their height difference, ugh. He looks away and tries to ignore the way his face is hot and now Seunghan's hands are pawing aimlessly at his shoulders.
"Really? Fuck yeah, I'd let you. Come on–" He spins around, squinting like he's trying to remember the layout of Sungchan’s apartment and where the spare bedroom is, trying to pull Sohee along and nearly faceplanting when he doesn't budge.
Sohee steadies him, rolling his eyes and smiling fondly. "Not now, idiot, you're wasted. You're not going anywhere but into bed. Alone."
Seunghan grubles comically, slumping like all the light has left his life.
Phew. Problem solved. There's no way Seunghan'll remember this the next morning, and even if he does, it's the perfect opportunity to claim he didn't and forget all about his crazy proposition, Sohee will do his very best to never think about it again.
*
So, he was wrong. He was entirely, drastically wrong. Because when he wakes up, rolls over and checks his phone, there's a message from Seunghan waiting for him.
So when are we meeting up?😏😏
Sohee groans and drags his hand down his face. Ok. so Seunghan remembers. And apparently still wants this. But he can't possibly, right? He just thinks this will be… he doesn't know, something new and fun to try?
He's definitely going to chicken out when it actually gets to the moment of truth, and Sohee will graciously reassure him and they'll put this far behind them, as clear proof to him that it would never work out between them. So he takes another gamble and actually sends a time.
He can't stop thinking about it as the day drags on. After the confirmation, Seunghan just kept on sending him cat tiktoks as usual, not minding that he never replied.
Seunghan does remember exactly what he agreed to, right? Just to be safe, he sends over an article conveniently titled Everything You Need to Know for Your First Time Bottoming! Sure, Seunghan's heard way too many gory details from Wonbin and Anton, but that doesn't mean he's actually mentally or physically prepared.
😳😳😳
Is all that he sends back. Sohee drops his phone and groans. What is he supposed to do with that?
The time has come before he even knows it, too preoccupied trying very hard not to think about it. He starts anxiously tidying up his apartment like Seunghan hasn't been there a million times and seen it at its very worst.
He doesn't know if he expects him to be magically different or something like that, but when he opens the door, Seunghan is standing there looking exactly as he always does, leaning against the doorframe with a shy smile and running his fingers through his hair. "Um... hi?"
Sohee blinks. This is a terrible time to realize that he might be the one that’s not emotionally or mentally prepared for this at all. He should take it back, He should send Seunghan home like he’s been meaning to this whole time. Instead, he reaches out and tugs him inside.
Seunghan's eyebrows rise but he goes willingly, chuckling softly and looking at him way too tenderly. Then he just stands there. Sohee’s about to ask him if he wants a drink when he remembers who he's got in his living room, not some guy he met on tinder, but Seunghan, who practically lives here and knows very well where everything is.
"I'm kinda nervous," Seunghan offers, rubbing his arms up and down.
It shocks Sohee out of his reverie. "It... it's okay, it's just me," he says, trying to keep his voice even.
"Yeah, that's why I'm nervous. It's you." Seunghan laughs.
Sohee doesn't know what to say to that. He hasn't felt this tongue tied around Seunghan in... ever. He thought he knew how to exist around him, but now Seunghan is staring at him and stepping closer. "Are... would it be okay if I kissed you?"
Sohee looks up at him and nods wordlessly, not able to do anything else but stand there like a wooden statue. Seunghan doesn't seem to mind much as he closes the distance between them. His hands come up to reverently touch Sohee's cheeks like he's holding something unbelievably precious, closing his eyes and giving him a good view of his long eyelashes and sharp cheekbones before he closes his own eyes as well and exhales sharply as those lips finally meet his.
There's one moment where they just relax and exist like that, a simple press of the lips, before something that's been pushed down inside Sohee for who knows how long yawns open, gaping and yearning.
They surge together at once, his hands sliding around to the back of Seunghan's shirt as he rises up to fucking devour him. Seunghan makes a surprised noise and gathers him closer to him, supporting his body weight so they meet perfectly right in the middle, bodies pressing together warm and firm as their heads tilt and lick into each other's mouths at just the right angle.
Seunghan isn't sloppy at all, he kisses him with infuriating precision, nothing escaping the seal of their mouths other than their intermittent gasping breaths as they rock back and forth together, nearly losing their balance before they finally separate.
Shit. They just stare at each other with mutually heated eyes for a moment, and Sohee really doesn't know how he could have ever deluded himself that he could have any self-control once they started.
In a blink of an eye they end up on his bed, barely detaching for a couple seconds other than to frantically rip their clothes off and get back together, both inhaling at the rub of skin on skin. Sohee's whole body feels totally diffused with heat, and his hands are nearly fucking itching with the need to have them on Seunghan at all times, to explore and appreciate that gorgeous body he's never even allowed himself to look too closely at before.
He runs them down the line of his spine, sliding them over to greedily feel up the pretty lines of his abs, Seunghan flinching away with a hitched giggle at a ticklish spot, before they mindlessly slide down to his ass.
Seunghan stills in his arms, and Sohee breaks away from him to stare at his face. Oh god, is this going to be the moment where he remembers exactly what he agreed to do and takes it all back?
Seunghan’s face is so pink and flushed, eyes shifting to the side, pretty lips slick and swollen and usually impeccable hair fluffy and messed around his face. Sohee moves closer and peers at him but he still avoids eye contact, so he takes advantage of the handholds he has on his ass and squeezes hard.
Seunghan's eyes flutter closed and his mouth parts delicately and soundlessly, the flush only deepening on his cheekbones. Holy fucking shit. "I-I followed the article you sent me," he offers.
"Yeah? Really?" He thinks about Seunghan peering at it with a furrow in his pretty eyebrows, putting in the effort of learning for him. Did he explore and take the time before he came over? He stares at him, watching for any dissent on his face as his fingers slowly slide down, stealing another squeeze before they meet the familiar tacky wetness of leftover lube, the way his fingertips nearly effortlessly slip in.
His eyebrows rise high and he's so hard in his pants but he can't even think about that right now, not while he's busy staring, trying not to miss any minute expression that shifts over Seunghan's face. He looks thunderstruck, his fingers curling around Sohee's wrist and staring at him with wide eyes and parted lips like he's showing him a revelation. He swallows hard, both of them caught up in their shared madness.
“I-I tried with my fingers earlier, but it didn't feel like much...." he says, obviously self-conscious about not having the kind of experience he’s used to having. Sohee swallows and tries not to think about how fucking hot that image is.
"Yeah, sometimes it takes a while for it to feel good. I mean, you also might not like it all. Just tell me, okay? We don't have to do this."
He's giving him one last out, but Seunghan maintains eye contact and shakes his head firmly. "No, no. I know I'll like it when it's with you."
Oh, god. Sohee scoots closer and breathes in Seunghan's familiar smell. He never really let himself focus on Seunghan's face for this long before, glad for their position facing each other as he drinks up every twitch of his face, grabbing his own lube, one finger slipping in all the way with barely any resistance at all.
Seunghan’s breath hitches softly, cheek rubbing against the pillow, one of his legs draping over Sohee's to open up the angle. The heat of him is insane, tightening up constantly in a way that just makes Sohee imagine what's to come.
On one particular drag Seunghan squeaks, rocking back down on it before he notices what he's doing and fucking giggles, hiding his face under his palms like no one can see him that way. "Um, god, I've never been in this position before, I don't know what to do…"
Oh, Sohee knows all about that, how he treats the girls he brings home like queens and effortlessly taking gentle control, the litany of guiding words falling out of his mouth burned into Sohee’s mind from nights with nothing but a thin wall between them. And here he is, roles flipped, cheeks pink with pleasure.
Sohee has to look away from his gaze, because he might have agreed to this but it’s because he's a very very selfish man, not the kind of person someone like Seunghan should be looking up at in sheer awe. "It's okay, though?" Sohee asks carefully, teasing a second fingertip around his hole. Seunghan inhales sharply and nods, leaning forward to bury his face in the crook of his neck.
God, Sohee has absolutely never felt like this in his life, this new consuming hunger in his gut to see Seunghan's face pushed more and more into distress and pleasure. He simply can't tear his eyes away as the space between the becomes heavy and heated, communicating silently through their eyes as Sohee starts really fucking him with his fingers, still going slow and making him really feel it, see his eyes flutter on the drag out and his breath hitch on the way in.
His whole body shudders on one press, and Sohee exhales, keeping that same angle and relishing the warmth of Seunghan’s long, lanky body, all sharp angles, writhing in his arms. “Feels good?”
Seunghan wrenches his eyes open and stares up at Sohee like he's his whole world, like he's showing him a whole new one. “Ah... didn't feel like this when I did it....” Somehow, the slight awkwardness that always overtakes him when Seunghan talks about him like this has disappeared, replaced by an intense admiration and arousal.
Yeah, he's the one making Seunghan feel so good. Yeah, he's the first person to touch him like this, to show him how his body could feel when it's actually paid attention to. How many of his girlfriends have really focused on him like this, have treated every inch of warm skin with the respect and admiration it deserves? He resists the urge to brag about it, just watching, entranced, as he shoves his fingers in hard and feels the larger man squirm around him.
Fuck, he can't wait anymore, he just needs to get inside Seunghan right now or he'll die. They should probably be checking in with each other more but he's drunk on the way Seunghan looks at him, the way he blooms in every look and touch that’s given to him.
He pushes Seunghan by his firm chest over onto his back, crawling to settle in between his legs. On his back Seunghan looks even better, arms falling back and catlike eyes blinking up at him, cheeks and chest flushed in a way he's never seen before, the long, elegant lines of his neck and collarbone on display.
His thighs have parted naturally around him, so Sohee runs his hands up the insides of them, the muscle fluttering under his light tough, digging his thumbs in and massaging the sensitive dips of his hips, very much purposefully not touching him where he's hard and begging for attention.
Instead he lets his hands trail down lower, spreading him apart and laughing at the shocked noise Seunghan lets out as he hides his face with his hands again, parting two of his fingers to shyly look at what's being done to him as Sohee takes a good look.
Shit, he's glad he got out his condoms and lube just in case even though he didn't think this was actually gonna happen, because he doesn't think he would have made it through the fumbling to find some in this moment. He’s not thinking about how this is going to change things for them, he’s not thinking about anything at all as he rolls a condom on and lines himself up, pausing as some of the reality hits him and he just stares at the image in front of him in awe.
Seunghan's expression is mirroring his, absolutely rapturous like he still believes this is a dream, before he gains a little bit of his usual boldness back and cocks an eyebrow. "What are you waiting for?" he says, trying to sound demanding but coming out just a little bit bratty and desperate instead.
Well, Sohee wasn't planning on waiting, but... “Is that the best you can ask?” God, he never knew he had this sadistic streak he could tap into, but this is the most fun he's ever had during sex.
Seunghan's cheeks puff out, his eyebrows furrow, and even though he's self-proclaimed obsessed with him he still apparently has to mentally prepare for what he's about to do. He's squirming nearly imperceptibly, rubbing like he's subtly trying to get more friction somewhere, anywhere.
“Please...” he starts out, breathy and quiet, and it's like a dam breaking. “Oh my god, Sohee, please fuck me, please please please...”
Sohee shoves himself all the way in in one go and listens in awe to his garbled pleas devolving into slurred gasps and whimpers. He has to stay still and breathe shallowly to try and get himself back under control so he doesn't bust near-immediately at the sheer overwhelming tightness clenching helplessly around him.
He's the only person who's ever been here, he's opening Seunghan up and carving a space for himself there that no one will ever take away... if Seunghan ever loses his fascination with him, this is one thing he'll never be able to give back.
He lets his head hang with the sheer force of the sensation, hair drooping onto Seunghan's heaving chest, the warm contact of their sweaty bodies moving together so unbelievably intimate. He looks up to him and breathlessly smiles, getting a matching one in response. “You gotta loosen up, dude, I can't even move.”
Seunghan flushes again. “I can’t- I can't help it! I've never even had anything up there and then you shove your huge dick in me–”
Sohee's dick is perfectly, painfully average. He still lets the words go to his ego, though, grinning and pulling out nearly all the way with nearly herculean effort, Seunghan's body begging him to stay inside the whole way. “I can pull out and give you a break then–”
“No!” Seunghan grabs his shoulders, fingers helplessly scrabbling at warm skin as his legs cross behind his hips to yank him back in. “Don't you dare. You can't give me this and then take it away. I can take it, watch.” He keeps pushing himself back until he's balls deep again, face scrunching and scrunching, legs shaking but totally determined.
"Shit, okay," comes out of Sohee's mouth in a garbled mess, jaw dropping open at the sudden sensation again. He shakes his head and gets into it, pushing as much as he can with the constriction around him, slowly carving a space for him inside Seunghan's body.
It only takes a couple minutes before Seunghan's body starts to open up for him, greedily sucking him in with every thrust and loosening up just enough to let him drag in and out faster and harder. Seunghan's head is tilted back, eyes slitted, hair sweaty and messy around his face, little hitches in his breath every time Sohee drills back in at a certain angle, and maybe he's seeing him in a new way for the first time, the vulnerability of letting him in like this.
Everything about their movements feel clumsy and new, but it's insanely good anyway, the slightest movement feeling like pure heaven just because of how long they've both been wanting this. He's not going to last long, so Sohee finally reaches for Seunghan's dick, bigger than his and slapping helplessly swollen up against his belly, jacking him off hard and fast to watch the way his body helplessly squirmed forward and back into the pleasure at both ends.
He can't stop staring at the image he paints, the beautiful tilt and lines of his neck and collarbone. A terrible idea springs into his mind, and he can't even filter it through his faltering sense of proprietary before he's reaching out with his spare hand and nestling it right around the base of Seunghan's throat.
He doesn't apply any pressure, just feels out the firm column of it, his fluttering pulse and shaking breaths and the vibrations of his low moans. Seunghan's eyes fly open to his, molten hot, somehow even more adoring, like he's seeing him for the first time as well, or completely validated in all the things he saw before.
Fuck, he wanted to hold out and feel Seunghan cum around him, but he really can't resist anymore. He makes some kind of embarrassing whine as he helplessly kicks forward and buries himself deep as he cums into the condom. Even with the barrier between them Seunghan's eyes roll back in his head at the feeling, humming and rocking his hips back and forth into his loosening grip on his dick and the subconsciously tightening one on his neck.
It actually might be better to be sated and clear-headed so he can watch every detail of Seunghan's orgasm watch over him, the way his pretty flat stomach arches off the bed and is dirtied up by his own release. One of his hands comes up to cover Sohee's hand still on his throat, pushing it further like he's claiming himself for him, his eyebrows drawing together delicately, utterly captivating.
He giggles breathlessly as Sohee flops down next to him, still a bit shocked like he hasn't even realized what's been happening. He curls up against his side, nuzzling against his shoulder like a satisfied cat, cheeks flushed and rosy.
Sohee stares at the ceiling. They're definitely going to need to talk about this, right? They just single handedly collapsed the delicate balance of everything they’ve built between them for years. Seunghan mumbles something into his shoulder that he definitely shouldn't listen to, because it's probably extremely appreciative and sappy and will sway his opinion.
But untangling the mess of his feelings can wait until the morning, especially when Seunghan is falling asleep against his shoulder all sleepy and satisfied.