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“Wooyoung, sit still.”
The boy in question just whines, kicking the back of Seonghwa’s seat. Seonghwa turns around to give him a warning glance, raising his eyebrows as if to say, are you really going to test me? Wooyoung pouts but drops his feet to the floor of the van.
“If you need something,” Seonghwa says softly, “use your words. You can, you're a big boy.”
Yunho stifles a laugh from the back of the minivan. “He's not a big boy, he's like, three.”
“I’m four!” Wooyoung complains, huffing and crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m such a big boy. Bigger than Jjongie, at least. He’s two and still uses a paci.”
Jongho glances over at the mention of his nickname, but is overall pretty disinterested, content to suck on his pacifier and shuffle around in his carseat. After a moment he focuses his eyes back on the DVD player attached to the back of Hongjoong’s seat, the sounds of Moana barely heard in the overall chaos of the van, but Jongho doesn't seem to care.
“Jongho uses a pacifier because it helps him stay calm and comfortable, Young-ah.” Seonghwa’s voice is kind and sweet, despite his inner frustrations at the kids' behavior. “It's like your blanket, or your stuffed animals. And you don't make fun of Mingi for his pacifier, even though he's older than you, do you?”
Wooyoung frowns. “Yeah, but Mingi needs it—”
“And Jongho doesn't?” Seonghwa interrupts, raising an eyebrow. He looks at Mingi, who’s sitting in the row behind Wooyoung and Jongho’s, next to San. “Mingi, honey,” Seonghwa calls out, earning the boy’s attention. “Do you have an extra paci in your bag?”
Mingi fishes through his bag before procuring a purple one and passing it up to Seonghwa, who thanks him and turns his attention back to Wooyoung. “Take this,” Seonghwa says, offering the pacifier to him.
Wooyoung stares at it for a moment, frowning. “But I’m—”
“It doesn't matter how old you are,” Seonghwa says, firm but gentle. “It doesn't matter if you need it, it matters if you want it. If you don't want it, you don't have to take it. I won't let the other kids tease you, okay?”
Wooyoung looks around, peeking at his brothers to see if they’re watching. Jongho is still engrossed in the movie on the screen. Mingi is also focused on his DVD player, humming along to the movie’s songs as they play. San is fast asleep, as is Yeosang. Yunho’s got his face buried in his iPad, furiously tapping along to whatever game he's playing. Wooyoung turns back to Seonghwa with wide eyes before hesitantly taking the pacifier and putting it in his mouth, his pudgy little fingers clutching the button of it.
He's out like a light within three minutes. Seonghwa exhales a breath and leans back against his seat. “How much longer until we're there?”
Hongjoong glances at the GPS and winces. “Two and a half hours, if we're lucky.”
“By the gods,” Seonghwa mumbles.
“By the gods!” Mingi parrots.
Seonghwa nearly slams his head into the dashboard.
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
If someone were to tell a teenage Seonghwa that he'd be taking care of six kids under the age of ten before he was thirty, he’d have laughed and moved on with his day. But sometimes, shit happens, and kids have nowhere else to go, and it's not like Seonghwa can just leave them when he's perfectly capable and willing to take them in. Screw his overly empathetic personality, really.
And sometimes shit happens and you end up marrying your best friend because of it. But that's a whole other thing.
Yunho was the first. A friend of a friend had a relative who passed suddenly, leaving behind a two-year-old boy with nobody else willing to take him and an inevitable future stuck in the system. Seonghwa, twenty-two and freshly graduated with a Bachelor’s in Childhood Development, scrambled to buy as many supplies as he could and applied to become a foster parent, and took Yunho in as soon as he was accepted.
Immediately, Seonghwa fell in love.
It was like a switch flipped in his brain, unearthing some sort of deep-rooted motherly instinct that he had been fully unaware of until Yunho stared up at him with his big sparkling eyes, his round cheeks, his lips stuck in a permanent pout; and made grabby hands. Seonghwa held him in his arms and accepted the fact that the trajectory of his life was forever changed.
Yeosang and San came as a package deal. When Yunho was five, the three-year-old half siblings stumbled into Seonghwa’s life similarly to Yunho. Yeosang was shy and rarely spoke in public; and San was the complete opposite, rambunctious and somewhat clueless about his surroundings, but still sweet and well-behaved. Despite being so different, they were inseparable.
But that's when things got difficult.
Seonghwa was having trouble juggling three foster kids with working from home and finding time to relax and take a break. He only slept a couple hours a night because he worked when the kids slept and watched the kids when they were awake. He had zero time for himself and it was starting to get to him, and his friends could all tell.
And so one night, Hongjoong called him.
“You need help,” Hongjoong said bluntly, his voice playing through Seonghwa’s earphones. “You're burning out, Hwa, I can't keep watching you dig yourself deeper.”
“I know,” Seonghwa said tiredly, his eyes shut as he leaned back against his desk chair. “But all of my family members are busy. I love these kids to pieces though, I don't want to move them back into some facility until someone else can care for them. Yet it feels like I don't have any other choice—”
“I can help,” Hongjoong interrupted. “I choose my own work hours and I can easily work from home. I’ve babysat my nieces and nephews, like, hundreds of times, and I loved every second of it. I’d be so willing to help you.”
Seonghwa was stunned into silence for a moment. He never expected anything like this, even from his best friend. The offer was so tempting, and raising the kids with Hongjoong seemed like a total dream, but…
“It's complicated,” Seonghwa said with a sigh. “It's not easy for friends to get involved with fostering. There's certain requirements that have to be met, and I don't even know if it's possible for you to help foster them if we're not, like, married. I’m sure there's ways around it, but I’m so drained, I don't think I can handle doing research and filling out endless forms when I barely have time to even do my job.”
“Then let's get married,” Hongjoong suggested, like it was a totally normal thing to just drop in a conversation.
Seonghwa couldn’t help the disbelieving laugh that escaped his throat at the offer. “Don't joke about that.”
“I’m not joking,” Hongjoong said, his voice completely serious. “If that's what it takes, I’ll marry the fuck out of you, Seonghwa.”
Again, Seonghwa found himself lost for words, a weird emotion swelling in his chest as he processed what he'd just been told. It's not like either of them had been dating around or looking for relationships. Not to mention they'd known each other for over a decade, Seonghwa trusted him with his life and if he had to marry a friend, it would be Hongjoong.
“I want to make sure you know what you're getting into,” Seonghwa said, trying to keep his voice level. “Your chance for dating is gone. You're going to be taking care of three toddlers who aren't school age yet and need to be watched constantly. You're going to lose sleep. There's so many things you have to consider.”
“I know,” Hongjoong said softly. “And I'll still do it all in a heartbeat.”
Seonghwa swallowed the lump in his throat, taking a shuddery breath. “Okay,” Seonghwa said. “Let's get married, Joong.”
They don't have a wedding. It’s a quiet affair with the court and suddenly, Seonghwa’s legally bound to his best friend. That fact doesn't scare him as much as he thinks it should. Seonghwa updates all of his foster paperwork with Hongjoong by his side and suddenly life is a lot easier.
And then when Yeosang and San start kindergarten, and Yunho starts year one, Hongjoong finds out about Mingi.
He's four years old, just a year younger than Yeosang and San. He's been stuck hopping between group homes, adoption centers, and other facilities for pretty much his entire life; since his parents put him up for adoption as soon as they found out he was somewhere on the autism spectrum. After a long discussion and lots of research on the disorder, Seonghwa and Hongjoong take him in with open arms.
A year later, when Seonghwa quits his job to take care of the kids entirely full-time, Wooyoung comes along, three years old with a fresh ADHD diagnosis and tons of misunderstandings from adults because of it. Seonghwa heard about him from an old coworker, and the rest was history.
Jongho is the most recent, and Hongjoong and Seonghwa agree he's the last. He comes along six months after Wooyoung, only one year old, quiet and stubborn compared to most other babies his age. Seonghwa falls in love for a sixth time, as soon as Hongjoong brings him up at the dinner table.
Now; Yunho’s nine, Yeosang and San are seven, Mingi is six, Wooyoung is four, and Jongho is two. And maybe Seonghwa gets exhausted and frustrated sometimes, but he's happier and more fulfilled than he ever thought he would be.
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
Seonghwa doesn't remember falling asleep, but when he wakes up, the car is stopped in their driveway and Hongjoong is no longer in the driver’s seat. He can hear Hongjoong gently waking Yeosang and San; with some help from Yunho. Wooyoung is still asleep, and Jongho must've passed out at some point as well, but Mingi is awake and seems fairly entertained giggling to himself. Once the four oldest are out of the car and heading up the path to their house, Seonghwa stretches and gets out of the car. He slides open the passenger door on his side and carefully scoops Wooyoung into his arms, as he watches Hongjoong do the same with Jongho.
“How were they when I was sleeping?” Seonghwa asks quietly, grabbing his bag from between the seats before shutting the door and starting the walk up to where the rest of the kids are waiting.
“Good, for the most part,” Hongjoong says, balancing Jongho with one arm as he fishes for the house keys in his pocket with the other. “Yunho and Mingi were trying to see how loudly they could talk to each other without waking the others, it seems. But they're all used to the noise enough to sleep through, like, everything.”
Seonghwa laughs to himself before ushering the kids into the house, reminding them to take their shoes off at the doorway as Hongjoong goes around turning the lights on.
“I’ll take Wooyoung so you can put the other kiddos to bed,” Hongjoong offers, reaching out his free arm so Seonghwa can pass the sleeping toddler over. “I'll meet you in our room after, unless you want to chill in the living room for a bit?”
“If I don't sleep as soon as possible, I’m going to lose my mind,” Seonghwa says, before feeling a tug on his shirt. When he looks down, Yeosang is staring up at him, San close behind him. “Hey, Sangie.”
“Can me and Sannie watch Cars before bed?” Yeosang asks softly, using the puppy eyes Yunho taught him when they were all a bit younger. Seonghwa wishes he could say that he's immune after all this time, but he's not. Still, he powers through.
“It's way past your bedtime, and we had an early morning, angel,” Seonghwa says, petting Yeosang’s hair when the boy inevitably starts to pout. “How about tomorrow, we all watch all three movies together? And I'll let you sleep in as late as you want, since there's no school this week.”
Yeosang and San’s eyes light up at the idea, and they look at each other, having some sort of silent conversation with their facial expressions before Yeosang turns back to Seonghwa and smiles. “Okay! Thank you, Appa Hwa!” The two of them run off to their shared room after, but not before Seonghwa reminds them to brush their teeth first.
Seonghwa told the kids early on to call him by his name, or just Hwa, because he didn't know how long he'd be fostering them and it would save him the emotional repercussions of a tiny child referring to him as their dad. Alas, in true little kid fashion, none of them listened to him and just started calling him appa anyway, and when Hongjoong came into the picture, they became appa Hwa and appa Joongie.
It's something that used to bother him a bit, because he wasn't actually their dad, even if he was that sort of figure for them. Except nowadays, he just accepts it, glad that the kids are comfortable enough with him to call him such a thing.
After about ten minutes, which Seonghwa deems enough time for the kids to have brushed their teeth and changed into pajamas, Seonghwa heads to Yunho and Mingi’s room first. The house has four bedrooms, each big enough to fit two, which works out for the eight of them and none of them have ever minded sharing.
He pokes his head in, seeing Yunho and Mingi in their respective beds on opposite sides of the room, both of them still awake. “Do you want me to tuck you guys in?” Seonghwa asks, already anticipating Yunho’s answer, mostly directing the question at Mingi.
Mingi hums his affirmation, reaching out for Seonghwa, who walks over to help him with his blankets. They quietly exchange good nights, and Seonghwa makes sure to tuck the blankets in extra tight since he knows Mingi likes the added pressure.
Just as Seonghwa steps towards the door, Yunho’s uncharacteristically quiet and soft voice fills the room. “Appa Hwa? Can you come tuck me in?”
Seonghwa turns to look at Yunho, shocked. Over the past year Yunho has taken to refusing to be tucked in, claiming that he's too big and can do it himself. Seonghwa cried the first night after it happened, because he's an emotional wreck when it comes to the kids and their milestones no matter how small they are, but he eventually got over himself. So Seonghwa’s first thought is that something is wrong, but Yunho doesn't look upset, so he just stops overthinking and approaches the boy.
“Of course, sunshine, I’ll tuck you in,” Seonghwa says, making sure to bundle him in the bed just how he likes, tucking the blanket right up to his chin while still making it breathable. “Everything okay?”
Yunho slightly pouts, and proceeds to tell Seonghwa exactly why he's upset.
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
When Seonghwa walks into his and Hongjoong's room after checking on the rest of the kids, he's holding back tears and his anger is evident. As soon as Hongjoong sees him, his eyes widen, and he shoots into a sitting position. “What’s wrong?” Hongjoong asks, concern seeping into his tone. “Are all the kids okay?”
“Yes,” Seonghwa says, wiping at his eyes as he walks towards the bed. “They're fine. Yunho said something, though. And I can easily say we're not visiting that side of my family again. At least, I’m not letting them play with my aunt’s kids.”
Hongjoong furrows his eyebrows in worry. “What did Yunho say? Did they tell him something?”
“Apparently,” Seonghwa says, taking a shaky breath, “before we left today, they told Yunho that since we’re only his foster parents, one day we’re going to give him and the other kids away, and that once he's older he's never going to see us again.”
Hongjoong’s expression changes so many times within a matter of seconds that Seonghwa would find it funny if he weren't on the verge of a total breakdown. “I knew something was off. He looked so upset when we were getting in the car, I asked him what was wrong and he just shrugged me off. I left it be and figured he was just sad to be leaving your family.”
“That's what I thought too,” Seonghwa says, finally sitting down on the bed next to Hongjoong and leaning into his side, turning his face into Hongjoong’s shoulder. “I don't think he believed them, but he still seemed pretty shaken up. I reassured him a lot and he calmed down after that. I just can’t believe they'd say that to him. Imagine if they had told the other kids? Mingi, especially.”
“Yunho’s tenth birthday is coming up,” Hongjoong says, running his hand up and down Seonghwa’s arm to comfort him. “You haven't changed your mind, right?”
“Not at all,” Seonghwa says. “I could never change my mind. All the paperwork is already filled out, we just need to sign and date it. You're still going through with this too, right?”
“Nothing in the world could change my mind.”
“Okay,” Seonghwa says softly, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, reveling in the comfort of his best-friend-turned-husband. “Good.”
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
On the morning of March 23rd, Seonghwa lets the school-aged kids have a day home from school for multiple reasons. Mainly because he knows they'll need a day to process what they're about to be told, but also because Seonghwa usually lets them stay home for all family birthdays since they're usually very good about attendance and grades.
Yunho requests to not have a birthday party, which is something he's always been weirdly particular about, but Seonghwa abides by his wishes without question. The kids have homemade pancakes and waffles for breakfast, and Hongjoong is subsequently banned from the kitchen for the rest of the day—and foreseeable future—after nearly mistaking salt for sugar. Seonghwa cannot believe he's married a fool, but he really wouldn't have it any other way.
But when it comes time to open gifts, Seonghwa is an anxious wreck.
“Are you sure they’ll all be happy?” Seonghwa asks, pacing back and forth as he chews on his thumbnail. “What if they’ll hate me?”
“They won't,” Hongjoong says firmly, gently grabbing Seonghwa’s hand and bringing it away from his mouth, instead lacing their fingers together. “You raised these boys, Hwa, they love you more than anything. This has been an inevitable outcome for us. We've worked so hard for this.”
“I know,” Seonghwa says, staring at the space between himself and Hongjoong. “I know. But still, I just can't help but think, are we sure this is what they want? Is this decision a selfish one? What if they resent us for this? What if—”
Seonghwa is cut off by a pair of lips pressing to his cheek, and his eyes widen almost comically when he realizes what Hongjoong just did. Casual affection such as small lingering touches is common between them, but a kiss on the cheek is basically unheard of.
“I get that you're worried,” Hongjoong says, as if he didn't just completely turn Seonghwa's world on its head, “and you have every right to be. This is a stressful situation. But we'll deal with it together, and anything that happens, you won't be alone in it. Take a deep breath, in and out.”
Shakily, Seonghwa inhales, breathing through his anxieties as Hongjoong guides him through it. After a while, he steels himself, grabbing an envelope off the kitchen table and squeezing Hongjoong’s hand in his. “Okay, I’m ready.”
The living room is decorated with streamers and balloons in various shades of pink, because Yunho’s been enamored with the color recently and Seonghwa would never deny him that joy. Yeosang is showing Wooyoung how to fold stars out of pieces of confetti, Mingi is watching them with interest, San and Yunho are scribbling on discarded wrapping paper, and Jongho is fully sat on the floor pushing around a light-up tennis ball that he got from somewhere. Seonghwa won't ask.
“Hey, kiddos, before we start on gifts, let's all sit in front of me and Joongie, okay?” Seonghwa says, slowly directing them into a sort of half-circle. He sits down with Hongjoong by his side, before gesturing to the envelope in his hands.
“This is a really, really special paper,” Seonghwa explains, handing it over to Yunho but not yet opening it. “And there's one for each of you, but the one in there is just Yunho’s. I can show you the ones that are yours after, if you want. But first, Yunho, sunshine, will you open it? Be careful not to rip it.”
Yunho takes great care in unsealing the envelope and taking out the paper inside, slowly unfolding it until he notices the words on the top of the page. He looks at Seonghwa and Hongjoong with hope and disbelief, unable to speak, eyes shimmering with unshed tears. “Appas…” he trails off, making no move to wipe his tears, instead looking over the paper again and clutching onto it tightly. “Is it real?”
“One hundred percent,” Hongjoong says. “Hwa and I did lots of work and spent lots of time making sure that paper could become a reality. And now it is.”
Yunho hugs the paper to his chest, chest hiccuping with little sobs. “Hey, hey, come here,” Seonghwa says, reaching out for the boy, who immediately rushes into Seonghwa’s arms and hugs him tight. “Are you sad?”
“No,” Yunho says right away, sniffling into Seonghwa’s shirt and holding onto the fabric for dear life. The paper has somehow ended up in Hongjoong’s hands. “‘m happy. So so happy, Appa Hwa, I love you.”
Seonghwa would've cried right then and there if it weren't for Wooyoung’s little voice speaking up the next second. “We didn't see, what's the paper?” Wooyoung asks, head tilted curiously like a puppy.
“Certificate of adoption,” Seonghwa says with a proud smile. “Which means we're not just a maybe home, anymore. We're your legal parents.”
There's a split-second moment of silence before the kids who understand break out into large and bright smiles. Seonghwa makes a note to explain things to Jongho in way more simplified terms what it means later, but for now—
He's not prepared at all when he's attacked into a hug by five little bodies, six including Yunho still clutching onto his shirt. A seventh pair of arms wraps around his middle, and a kiss on his temple helps ease him. Seonghwa turns to look at Hongjoong with a warm heart and a dazed mind. “I love you,” Seonghwa murmurs, loud enough for all of them to hear.
He gets a chorus of responses back, but his favorite is Hongjoong’s voice right against his temple whispering, I love you, too. A fluttery feeling settles in his stomach, but he pays it no mind. At least, not until San pulls back curiously. “Appa Hwa, Appa Joongie, I heard Appa Hwa’s auntie say something yesterday,” he says quietly, in an almost conspiratorial voice.
Seonghwa freezes. “What did she say, sweetheart?”
San shrugs. “Can't remember except for one word. Do you know what 'gay’ means? She said you two are gay, is that good or bad?”
Seonghwa is rendered speechless, not having ever expected such a question to be asked. Hongjoong simply cackles next to him, his arms looped around Seonghwa's waist, and says like the cringey dad he is, “Being gay means happy, I guess. And I’m so happy. It's good.”
“It means happy?” Yeosang asks, perking up. “Well, in that case, I’m super gay!” Yeosang yells.
“Super gay!” Mingi echoes.
If there was a dashboard in front of Seonghwa right now, he'd be smashing his forehead into it.