Chapter Text
“Dear Ben,
It’s been too long since I last wrote to you, and for that, I apologize. Over the past few days, I’ve found myself increasingly lost in my own thoughts, faced with a decision I knew I had to make. Now, I’ve made that choice.
Ben, I’m leaving.
I’m sure you’ll view this as a dangerous, perhaps even suicidal mission. You've always been the cautious one, while I was always diving into trouble. Remember when we were kids and you would cling on to me whenever a storm approached? We would huddle under the blankets, and I’d come up with silly stories, just to distract you from the thunder’s roar.
I miss those moments deeply.
I recognize that the odds are not in my favor. To be honest, I don’t know if I’ll make it. But I’m certain of one thing: I can’t bear another day in this forsaken place.
I hope to see you soon, Ben.
With all my love, ”
* * *
You had no idea how much time had passed since you took refuge beneath the branches of that tree. Half-asleep, your dreams blurred with reality, likely a side effect of a severe fever. Every inch of your body ached, making movement nearly impossible. In that moment, you had given up all hope of survival. It seemed inevitable that some giant beast would soon emerge and bite your head off, as if it were an appetizing treat. Given your weakened state, resistance would be futile. So why should you even try to stand up?
“Girl?”
The voice awakened you from your slumber. Trying to open your eyes, a harsh sunbeam made you squint. As you struggled to regain consciousness, you felt a gentle squeeze on your calf—the man's way of checking if you were responsive. “We have a survivor over here!” he shouted to a colleague.
“Really?! Who is it?” a female voice echoed from a distance, her tone laden with excitement.
“I don’t know,” the blonde man mumbled, eyeing you with a hint of suspicion. “Who are you?”
You gathered enough strength to sit up, bracing yourself with your arms. You gave out your name, quickly examining your surroundings, only half-aware of the man standing over you. A few trees shielded the ground from the intensity of the morning sun. In the distance, you saw oversized skeleton parts strewn across the ground, evaporating. The grass was stained with blood—a ghastly scene.
You shifted your focus to the man before you. His blonde hair was neatly tied in a bun, and he sported a subtle beard. Your eyes quickly caught the green cloak he wore, and beneath its folds, you glimpsed a familiar symbol: the Wings of Freedom emblem. Without a shadow of a doubt, this man belonged to the Survey Corps. “I’m Eld, Eld Jinn,” he told you, even though you hadn’t asked.
“Where are we, Eld Jinn?”
“South Wall Maria,” he replied plainly.
“Dammit,” you thought to yourself, exhaling through your nose in frustration. This meant you hadn’t even made it half the way. Even if you never truly expected to succeed, you had at least hoped to surpass Wall Maria. Worse yet, you now faced the task of explaining to these soldiers why a young woman was wandering alone on the outskirts of Wall Maria, the area overrun with Titans.
As you racked your brain for a convincing story to offer Eld Jinn and his companions, a woman rode in on horseback. While she appeared just as baffled by your presence, she didn’t hesitate to approach and attend to your injuries. “I’m Petra,” she introduced herself, gently resting your arm on her lap. You offered your name in return. She delved into her pockets, retrieving what appeared to be medical supplies. "That's quite a deep cut you have there," she remarked, motioning to the open wound on your right arm, roughly the size of a pencil.
"I'll alert the others," Eld announced, his voice tinged with uncertainty, as he sent a smoke signal skyward. "Captain Levi needs to know about this."
* * *
Before long, you found yourself caught in the scrutinizing gaze of five Survey Corps soldiers. Mere minutes after Eld had sent out the smoke signal, three other men appeared on horseback. They were all draped in the iconic green cape, its back emblazoned with the emblem of wings—half white and half blue.
The first man was of a medium build with a slightly tanned complexion. Though he was wary, there was a hint of empathy in his expression. The second appeared older than his companions, wrinkles marking his features. However, he gave out a relaxed demeanor, a timid smile resting on his lips. The third man was radically different. He was noticeably shorter than the other soldiers, with black hair styled into a sharp undercut. His youthful features stood in opposition to his piercing gray eyes and the stony expression they held. Those eyes, you felt, could cut deeper than the blades the soldiers wore at their waists.
“I assure you, I mean no harm,” you began, directing your plea to the older-looking man, whom you deduced to be Captain Levi. Taking a deep breath, you then proceeded to tell the story you had invented to appease the apprehensive soldiers. “My father insisted we should go hunting in the forests south of Wall Maria. I tried to tell him it was prohibited and, of course, awfully dangerous, but he was set on it. He feared hunger more than the Titans,” you said, pausing to assess their reactions. “At first, everything seemed quiet, no sight of Titans anywhere. But then…” you trailed off, letting their imaginations fill in the gaps.
You could sense your words had made an impact on them. Although they didn't seem entirely convinced by your tale, you observed a notable change in their postures, shifting from the rigid alertness they had initially displayed. Well, most of them did. The shorter man with the piercing eyes remained an enigma. He continued to study you, his unwavering gaze sending shivers down your spine. What a strange little man.
“Captain, what should we do with her?” inquired the tan-skinned man, whom you'd later come to know as Gunther Schultz, directing his question to the shorter figure beside him. So that was Captain Levi. A flush of embarrassment colored your cheeks, realizing you had been addressing the wrong man as the Captain all along.
"She’s coming with us," Captain Levi responded tersely, his penetrating gaze never straying from you. "Eld, she's your responsibility. Keep an eye on her," he instructed before making his way to his horse.
“Understood, Captain” Eld replied, guiding you towards his mount. As the soldiers mounted their horses, Eld extended a hand to help you onto the saddle. Noticing the confused look on your face, he quickly added “We're a horse short.”
“It’s fine,” you assured him, offering a smile in return.
The squad spurred their horses, heading swiftly towards the Wall. You clung to Eld, your arms wrapped securely around his waist, ensuring you wouldn't be thrown off the horse. After a few hours of travel, the lingering silence amongst the group began to bother you. And you knew you were unable to keep your mouth shut.
“So, where exactly are we headed?” you asked Eld, eager to start a conversation.
"There's an inn just as we make it inside Wall Rose,” he replied. You could still feel the wariness in his voice. “We could all use a warm bed.”
“And a big cup of mead,” you teased, attempting to get a smile out of the man who had saved your life.
“That sounds good,” he chuckled. It was a start.
* * *
The inn was bustling despite its isolated location. Burly farmers quarreled in one corner, their voices slurred from the mead they had consumed. At another table, a couple sat close, hands intertwined, whispering sweet nothings to each other. Meanwhile, a group of women stationed themselves by the bar, casting flirtatious glances at the inebriated men. No other scene could capture life inside the Walls as well as this one.
As the Squad entered the inn, hushed whispers began to circulate among the customers.
“Is that Captain Levi?”
“I heard he has slain over one hundred Titans!”
“What's the big deal? No one was there to save us when those monsters broke through the Wall.”
Suddenly, it came to you. Today wasn't the first time Captain Levi’s name had reached your ears. Though you hadn't paid much attention to the affairs within the Walls, you had occasionally overheard the villagers discuss the feats of the Survey Corps. You had even heard stories about Captain Levi and how he was supposedly the strongest of the soldiers. In fact, people even called him a silly nickname. “Humanity’s Strongest Soldier”, you believed it was.
Your thoughts were interrupted by the welcoming voice of the innkeeper. “Soldiers, welcome!” she declared, her tone infused with genuine warmth. “It's been a while, Captain Levi. Might I offer you a hearty supper?”
The innkeeper was a stout woman, her muscular arms contrasting starkly with her gentle demeanor. Her blonde curls framed her face, and a kind, maternal smile graced her lips. You found yourself warming up to her almost instantly.
“Margaret,” Levi acknowledged, his voice devoid of any intonation, his face as inscrutable as ever. “We’ll take whatever we can get.”
Margaret escorted your group to a large, round table adjacent to the bar, quickly outlining the limited lodging options. With only two rooms free, it was a given: you'd bunk with Petra, while the four men claimed the other space. You couldn’t complain.
As you settled into your seat, the weight of the day's events pressed upon you. A sudden realization hit you: in the midst of everything, you hadn't taken a moment to thank the soldiers for saving your life.
You had never truly made an effort to bond with the people who lived within the Walls. In your village near Jinae, you had built a life based on courtesy rather than real connections. You always nodded to the Garrison men and shared light-hearted exchanges with the stable boy. You also had moments where you watched over the bookstore owner's children, and in return, they repaid you with books. But genuine friendships? Those were absent. It wasn't out of disdain or some hidden grudge against the Wall's citizens. You simply didn’t see the point in forming relationships destined to end the moment you left Paradis. Saying goodbye was painful, a truth you knew all too well.
However, as your eyes roamed over the faces of your saviors, a profound sense of gratitude swept over you. Without the timely intervention of these soldiers, a Titan would surely have made a meal out of you, crushing your dream of ever returning home. They deserved your acknowledgement, if not more.
“I need to thank you all,” you broke the silence, offering the soldiers a sincere smile. “If Eld hadn’t found me, I don’t know what might've happened.”
“You’d be dead.” Levi responded, his expression inscrutable.
You took a deep breath, striving to maintain your composure. “Yes, I gathered that, Captain. Thank you for the insight." His attitude was starting to irritate you.
“We’re glad to have been of help,” Gunther said, sidestepping the tension between you and Levi. “But I’m curious—how did you and your father make it so far out of Shiganshina? Didn’t you run into any Titans before he…?” he paused, self-aware. “Even the district's heart had its share."
Levi's eyes, sharp as ever, turned to you, anticipating an answer.
Just as you were bracing yourself to answer, Oluo Bozado, the man you'd previously mistaken for Levi, intervened, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. Feeling a mix of relief and annoyance, you were spared from answering Gunther’s questions.
“Give the lady a break, Gunther,” Oluo chided, his arm a bit too snug against your shoulder for your liking. “Can’t you see she's trying to enjoy the company of her charming rescuer?” He sent a mischievous wink your way.
“I’m quite sure she doesn't want that sort of company, especially not from you, Oluo,” Petra remarked, arms crossed, clearly not impressed with his flirty antics.
“Nobody does.” Levi’s voice cut through, monotone as ever.
Brushing Oluo's arm away while suppressing a giggle, you teased, “Honestly, Mr. Bozado, given the choice between you and a Titan?” You motioned towards the bandage on your arm that Petra had applied earlier, “I might just pick the Titan.”
This prompted an eruption of laughter from Petra, Eld, and Gunther. You joined in, the shared joy lightening the room. The laughter was to be interrupted only by Margaret’s arrival, bringing your food to your table. “Here you go ladies and gentlemen. Enjoy it.”
* * *
As the night progressed, you began to appreciate the company of the people seated beside you. Always lost in your own thoughts and preoccupied with your unyielding plan to return home, you struggled to recall the last time you genuinely enjoyed someone else's company. Nevertheless, this had been an enjoyable evening. Each of these soldiers exuded their unique charm. Gunther was level-headed and observant. Oluo's unmatched cockiness and his attempts to mimic Levi added humor to the mix. Eld, with his blunt honesty, took pleasure in teasing his mates. Petra, with her caring nature, served as the glue holding the group together. And then there was Levi.
Levi mostly kept to himself. But when he did speak, his words were so cutting they often verged on outright rudeness. With an ever-impassive face, discerning his thoughts was nearly impossible. His clear lack of charisma made you wonder how he had ever been chosen as their leader.
“You sure know how to choose these places, Captain,” Gunther said as the waitress poured him another generous cup of mead. “Another one, please,” he told the waitress, pointing to his empty bowl of stew. She smiled in response, clearly eager to please the soldier.
“Captain Levi always ensures we stay at places where the Survey Corps is welcome,” Petra noted, her voice filled with admiration for the odd little man.
“Are there places where the Survey Corps isn’t welcome?” you inquired, surprised. It seemed odd that soldiers would be unwelcome anywhere, especially after the Walls had been breached.
“Not everyone appreciates the work we do for humanity,” Eld replied sternly, the subject evidently a sore point for him. “Some even consider us a waste of their taxes.” He clenched his fist on the table.
“I see,” you bit your lip, contemplatively. Though you would never say it out loud, those critics might have a point. Certainly, the Survey Corps was indispensable in defending the people inside the Walls from the Titans, more so after the fall of Shiganshina. But constantly venturing outside the Walls only to return empty-handed and at a devastating human cost? Why would anyone willingly embrace such danger? What was there to gain from it? The logic escaped you. Yet, perhaps your perspective was skewed, given that you knew far more about this world than they ever would.
Petra swiftly shifted the conversation to the plans for the following day. “We’re heading back to Trost tomorrow to monitor the progress of our recruits,” she remarked, her voice tinged with excitement. “It seems a good number of them are pondering a future with the Survey Corps.”
“When we reach Trost, you’ll be able to travel safely to Jinae,” Eld chimed in, relaying what were clearly Captain Levi’s instructions.
You nodded, absorbing their words. What would you do then? Go back to Jinae, to your same old boring routine? Or would you consider another risky bid to return home? Neither seemed like a feasible choice. A sigh escaped your lips; you had so much to think about.
Standing up, you rested your hands on the table’s edge. “It’s been a long day,” you offered the group a tired smile, “I believe it’s time I retire for the night. Goodnight, everyone.”
As you turned to leave, you noticed Levi pushing back from the table, rising to his feet. “I’ll walk you to your room,” he said, leaving no room for protest.
You were taken aback by his gesture. Could it be that Captain Levi was more than just a collection of cold stares and snarky remarks? Based on the day's events, it seemed unlikely. However, escorting a lady to her room was indeed a chivalrous gesture. Maybe you and the Captain had just started off on the wrong feet. You decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.
The inn spanned two floors. The tavern, where you had shared a meal with the Squad, occupied the bottom floor. Large wooden stairs connected it to the rooms on the second floor, where you would sleep next to Petra. Although several hours had elapsed since your arrival, the atmosphere in the tavern remained lively, filled with drunken laughter.
With Levi trailing closely behind, you made your way through the tavern, extremely aware of his intense gaze burning into the back of your neck. As you climbed the stairs, the noises from the busy tavern dwindled until, upon reaching the corridor leading to your room, silence enveloped the space.
Pausing at the door, you felt compelled to shatter the awkward silence. “Captain, perhaps we got off on the wrong foot,” you began, trying to sound amiable. Given your past experiences, few things could faze you. However, the inscrutable expression on Levi’s face was unnerving. The man was unreadable. “I just wanted to express my gratitude for-”
Levi’s unexpectedly deep voice cut through your words. “Why did you make up that story?” he questioned, his eyes locked onto yours.
“Pardon?” you responded, clearly taken aback.
“The sob story about you and your dad,” he elaborated, seemingly immune to your startled response. “It doesn’t add up.”
“And why would I make up something like that?!” The surprise in your voice was evident. His unexpected show of courtesy had made you a bit suspicious, but an interrogation outside your bedroom door was the last thing you had anticipated.
“That’s what I want to know,” he shot back.
Gathering yourself, you replied, “It’s insulting that you'd even imply I-”
Levi interrupted you. Again. “You aren’t denying it.”
You took a breath. Though the Captain had taken you by surprise, you had to keep your composure. Lying wasn't something you took lightly, but circumstances in Paradis had forced your hand. “What I told you was exactly what happened. I shared the truth. Nothing more,” you asserted.
Levi remained silent.
Feeling a surge of defiance, you raised your eyebrows. “Happy now, Captain? Because I’m going to rest.” Reaching for the door knob, you intended to end this standoff.
Suddenly, Levi’s hand seized your wrist, stopping you. He drew closer, his face uncomfortably near to yours. The surprising scent of soap and earl grey tea assaulted your senses. “Why did you make up that story?” he insisted, squeezing tighter.
“Let go of me.” you rebuked, your eyes darting to your wrist. Though his grasp wasn't painful, it effectively trapped you. Suddenly self-aware, you wondered if he could sense the racing pulse beneath your skin.
Levi held firm. “Just answer the question,” he persisted, a hint of irritation in his tone. “Why?”
“I didn’t make anything up,” you felt compelled to meet his gaze again. If he wanted to play games, so be it. You were an excellent player. “But if you're so convinced, by all means, investigate,” you challenged.
Releasing your wrist, he stepped back. “Perhaps I will,” he declared, the words carrying an ominous undertone. Without another word, Levi turned on his heel, the soles of his boots echoing hauntingly in the dim corridor as he disappeared down the staircase.
Rubbing the faint mark on your wrist, you called out, sarcasm dripping from every word, “Sleep well, Captain.”
His only response was the lingering scent of soap and earl grey in the now quiet corridor.