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Cole is starting to feel sick. This is weird because Cole isn't even technically alive right now. He can feel his stomach turn as The Bounty drifts through the sky.
It's not too late, but it's late enough that Cole's sure everyone is in bed. So, like he usually does on nights like this, he decides to go haunt the halls.
Forcing his feet to stay on the wood flooring, he walks out of his room. It's hard to make his lighter-than-air translucent body have the same sort of heft it used to, but putting effort into that keeps his mind off of… other things.
When Cole first became a ghost, it was very disorienting how light he was. Before, he was very heavy- he was made of thick muscle with a healthy lining of fat, he took pride in how heavy he was. So when he realized he lost that, he felt even worse about being a ghost.
Cole shakes his head at these thoughts- he's not supposed to actually haunt the halls, that was a joke! Taking these nightly walks were a means to take his mind off of it, not bring more attention to it.
Sighing, with an unnecessary breath, he keeps walking. He'd like to go to the deck of the ship, but he can hear the tell-tale tapping of rain pattering down, so it's not really an option. Maybe he should invest in an umbrella- but with how if-y his corporeality is, he's not sure the risk is worth it.
So he decides instead, to just walk through the halls.
Then, The Bounty lurches, and with it, Cole's heart. This spike of fear as he stumbles cuts through his concentration of keeping himself physical. He holds back a scream as he hurtles through the floor, hands first.
A surprised Zane is waiting directly in his path. With Cole's momentum, he goes right through the nindroid. Desperate not to fall through the whole ship- Cole claws for purchase on his friend.
And it… works. He stops falling- and oddly enough, he's… sitting. He looks around for Zane, worried he hurt his friend.
"Zane?" He asks, then he covers his mouth, because that's not what he sounds like.
Then he notices how… heavy he feels. Yes, he has to put effort into raising his arm. He never imagined it would feel so good to be able to feel that again.
"Cole, I believe you have…" Cole hears Zane say- but he also feels his own mouth move. Cole's heart lurches again, and he looks down at his- at Zane's hands.
Yes, the hands are silver and smooth- and the sleeves are white as snow.
Cole detaches himself quickly, practically ripping himself out of Zane. If he felt sick earlier- now he feels down right feverish. Knowing he had possessed his friend- and he had felt good about it- it makes him feel disgusting.
"Zane- I'm so sorry- I-" Cole chokes out- There's nothing he can say to excuse this.
He covers his mouth, like there's anything to hold back. Zane pulls himself back to his feet- Cole must've knocked him down by the sheer force he possessed him with. Cole wants to empty his stomach, but it hasn't been filled in months.
"It's alright. I just wasn't expecting it. Are you okay?" Zane asks, his voice level and unbothered. How could he possibly be unbothered?! Cole had just- he had just-
"I- What? Y-You're asking if I'm okay?" Cole voices, his voice doing the ghostly reverb he had tried so hard to stop. Guess fear and worry brings it back out- that's good to know. "I-I- First Spinjitsu Master- Zane, I just possessed you!"
"Yes, it was rather odd. But you didn't overtake any of my major functions, so it wasn't so bad." Zane offers, sounding concerned for Cole. It's only making Cole feel worse.
"Okay- but I, Zane, I-" Cole tries, disgust at himself lacing through his voice. It takes a bit more effort- less than it used to- and he vanishes.
"Cole, it's okay. I know you didn't mean to. Compared to what I've heard about possession, it really wasn't that bad." Zane says to seemingly open air. Saying that it wasn't that bad implies that it was at least a little bad, so Cole just frowns harder.
"I'm really sorry, Zane…" Cole apologizes again. The words echo supernaturally, giving Cole another surge of self-discomfort.
"It's okay…" Zane repeats, a little unsure. He's caught on that Cole isn't being comforted by saying that- but it's all Zane knows to say. He's never really been one to comfort others.
Cole doesn't respond again, so Zane can only assume that he left. Zane follows suit, leaving as well- he was on his way to bed, so he continues this venture.
Cole stays there for a long time, remaining invisible.
__—__—__—__—__—__
"Hey, have either of you seen Cole?" Lloyd asks, entering the kitchen the next afternoon. Kai sits on the counter, despite Zane repeatedly telling him not to. Zane is preparing dinner.
"Nope." Kai replies simply, leaning back casually against the backsplash. Zane glares at this openly.
"Not today." Zane answers, thinking about last night. Lloyd frowns, clearly worried.
"He wasn't at training this morning, either…" Lloyd says, his eyebrows furrowing from concern. "Do either of you know if he had plans to go out today?"
"Well, if he did have plans, it rained last night, so it's way too humid for him to actually do anything." Kai responds, glancing at the window that still somehow has precipitation on it.
"I guess so… Why would he be hiding though? I even checked his room, and he wasn't there. Why wouldn't he be there?" Lloyd wonders aloud, crossing his arms and leaning against the fridge.
"Oh. Well, last night, Cole possessed me." Zane offers, hoping it would be helpful. Kai blinks and Lloyd's jaw drops.
"What?! He possessed you?!" Lloyd questions, straightening up and unintentionally making his disgust obvious. Zane nods, oblivious to this.
"Yes. He fell through the floor above me and did it by accident. I believe it was from fear of falling through the whole ship." Zane elaborates, continuing chopping his vegetables.
"Right…" Lloyd nods, his frown twisting as he thinks about his time possessed.
"What'd it feel like?" Kai asks, conversationally- but he looks a bit too interested. Zane considers this, thinking back.
"It was… odd. It felt a bit like an extended consciousness. He could move my arms, but I didn't feel out of control. We were able to talk separately, and I could feel what he was feeling. His feelings made me feel… human." Zane explains, his hands pausing as he realizes this himself. It's quite the revelation- that Zane's feelings alone feel… artificial.
"Wow, sounds like you enjoyed it." Kai states, surprised. Zane nods, because however short the interaction was, it was enjoyable.
"I-I don't know. I don't want to doubt Cole… but… For a ghost to possess someone without being told they can…?" Lloyd trails off, feeling a bit gross. Zane nods at this as well.
"Typically, yes, it would be concerning. But when Cole realized what happened, he stopped possessing me immediately." Zane continues, eager to defend his friend. Lloyd does look soothed at this.
"Oh, that's good." He says, finally giving another smile.
"Yes. I believe he took it worse than I did." Zane replies, continuing in his chopping once more.
"Pff, like you took it poorly at all- you just admitted you liked it." Kai laughs, already teasing.
"I am simply implying that it could be the reason Cole is absent." Zane argues, feeling a bit warm- his coolant rushes through him to cool him off.
"Oh." Kai says, sobering from worry for his friend. Lloyd also looks worried, so Kai tries to comfort. "Hey, don't worry, he'll be back before you know it. He's just gotta get the angst out of his system."
"Right." Lloyd nods, smiling, reassured.
"What did you need him for?" Zane asks, wanting to change the subject a bit. Lloyd perks right up.
"Oh, right!" And then he tells them about how he was planning on challenging the Earth ninja's high score, and how he was eager to do it right in the ghost's face.
__—__—__—__—__—__
"Whoa, Cole, what's wrong?" Jay asks immediately at the sight of his curled up friend. Cole's looking wispy at the edges, and his usual bright appearance is significantly faded.
"Go away, Jay…" Cole replies, burying his face into his forearms. Jay settles beside him instead of taking that suggestion.
"Don't be like that- what happened?" Jay questions, attempting to set a comforting hand on Cole's back. The ghost jolts and quickly slides away from him.
"Don't touch me!" Cole shouts, fear obvious in his voice and expression. Jay, surprised, stays frozen where he was, arm still up to where Cole had been sitting.
"O-Okay, sorry," Jay says, feeling even more worried as he brings his hand down. Cole turns to face Jay, like he was an enemy to be watched carefully. This only makes Jay even more worried.
"First master, I'm a monster…" Cole swears, his face twisting with despair. Then his eyes start steaming and he hisses, quickly rubbing them. Jay's jaw drops- he didn't know ghosts could cry- that seems rather counter-productive.
"Hey, no, that's not true. Don't say that." Jay tries to soothe, keeping his distance out of respect. "What happened? It can't be that bad." Right? Nothing Cole did would make Jay think he's a monster, so Jay's at least confident about that.
"I… I possessed Zane…" Cole admits, burying his face once more, giving up on stopping the burning tears in favor of hiding his face into his arms. Jay's jaw drops once again- that's not… really what he was expecting.
"Wow…" Jay says before he can think better not to. Cole's shoulder's shake, and Jay quickly backtracks. "Th-That's not so bad! You stopped doing it, at least, right?"
"But I-" Cole chokes, and he looks up. Jay's never seen his friend so devastated. "I didn't want to…" He whispers out, like he was expressing his deepest secret as well as his worst sin. Jay considers that maybe he is.
"Wow…" Jay repeats- he's being surprised at every corner! Trying to keep an open mind, he decides maybe he should get his friend to elaborate. "Why not?"
"I…" Cole takes an unneeded breath to continue. "Jay, I've been a ghost for so long…" It comes out heavy and full of sorrow. It's all he manages for a moment.
Jay gives an encouraging nod, frowning in sympathy.
"When I… When I possessed Zane, I… I felt… alive again. I was heavy for the first time in months." Cole explained to Jay, keeping his voice low as he admits his deepest shame. "I-I can't even look at him anymore…" He admits, thinking about when he saw Zane early this morning and he could barely bring himself to look away. He ran as soon as he could.
"Aw, no- Listen, I'm sure he's already forgiven you. Zane's the most understanding one out of all of us!" Jay offers, trying to give a smile as well, but Cole doesn't brighten up.
"Not because I'm embarrassed or ashamed, Jay," Cole replies, swallowing. Well, a little from embarrassment and shame, but it's mostly- "Because I want to do it again." With that admittance, Cole chokes out a sob, so thoroughly disgusted with himself.
" Wow… W-Well I'm sure Zane wouldn't hold it against you! If you just told him-" Jay is cut off by Cole's head shooting up.
"I'm not telling him anything! I-If I told him any of this, he'd- he'll never want to see me again…" Cole fears, his mind wandering as he thinks about how that would even begin to go down.
"Cole," Jay says, sliding over. Cole tenses, but doesn't move. Jay even sets a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Listen to me. You're my best friend, and I consider Zane another one of my best friends. I know you guys- You're really overthinking this, I honestly think Zane will understand."
"But… what if he doesn't?" Cole asks, obviously worried. Jay rolls his eyes- he doesn't mean to disregard Cole's anxieties, but he really doesn't think it's that deep.
"All I know is that you don't feel alive right now. Zane makes you feel alive. So, maybe don't force yourself to suffer, go to Zane, and let yourself feel like you're living again."
"Wh- I-It wasn't like that!" Cole blushes at the wording, his tears stopping from surprise. Jay gives a smile, and pats his shoulder.
"Cole, I know you. You wouldn't be this scared to lose the respect or whatever from someone you only feel friendship towards." Jay offers, snorting a laugh. Cole wonders when exactly along their friendship Jay managed to figure that out.
Before he could even think to ask, though, Jay is standing up and giving him a gentle good luck. Then, his friend leaves him alone again.
Cole thinks about this conversation for a few hours.
__—__—__—__—__—__
"Zane." Cole says, rather stiffly from the living room doorway. Zane, surprised, looks up from his book and turns his sitting position on the couch to properly face his friend.
"Cole. Lloyd was asking for you." Zane informs immediately, though he's mainly happy to see his friend again- actually, maybe he should make that known. "I was worried."
"You… were worried about me? I-I mean… What did Lloyd want?" Cole asks, eager to keep the topic far away from himself, at least for now.
"He wanted to beat your high score for one of the games- I didn't think to ask which one." Zane answers, closing the book in his hands and setting it on the coffee table. "And of course I was worried about you. I haven't seen you since last night, and I was afraid it wasn't sitting well with you."
"Right…" Cole winces at the bluntness of Zane's second statement. "I-I just wanted to give you some room, I didn't think you'd want to see me." He says, a bit weakly. Zane nods, and Cole only takes a breath as his thoughts are proven right.
"After seeing Lloyd's reaction, I can see why you'd think that-" Zane is cut off by Cole's reaction to this. Cole's jaw is dropped as a new fear is introduced to him- Lloyd finding out.
"You told Lloyd?" Cole questions, devastation clear in his voice as he brings his hands to his hair. Zane frowns, concern and confusion lacing through his system at Cole's obvious stress.
"Yes- and Kai. They asked about you and I supplied why I believed you were missing." Zane supplies, tilting his head at Cole's rising distress.
"A-And how did he feel? Oh, First Master, he must hate me…" Cole frowns, feeling just as bad as he did before his talk with Jay.
"Well, at first he expressed discomfort and surprise. But once I told him how I felt about it, and that you stopped as soon as you realized, he moved on easily." Zane replies honestly, interlacing his fingers and placing his hands on his lap. Cole lowers his hands at this confirmation, using them to hold his biceps instead.
"And… how do you feel about it?" Cole asks, bracing himself. Zane considers this for a second- he had already decided how he felt about it, but he didn't decide how to voice it.
"Well, I… I think I… liked it." Zane answers, feeling a little embarrassed. Cole nearly falls through the floor with how hard his surprise hits him.
"What?" Cole breathes out, shocked to see his own feelings mirrored.
"Yes, I did like it." Zane repeats, sounding much more sure. "I know that it made you rather uncomfortable, but it made me… feel things I've never felt."
"I-I thought you would be uncomfortable! I-" Cole stops, almost admitting - but well, Zane had already confessed- it would only be fair if Cole did too… "I… liked it, too…" He commits quietly. Zane perks up at this.
"Oh? I had no idea. What did you like about it?" Zane asks, eager to know. Cole takes a deep breath and steps over to sit next to his friend.
"I-I liked… being heavy again." Cole admits, noticing all too well how he doesn't sink into the couch cushion. Glancing over at Zane, he sees his friend give an affirming nod and an encouraging smile. "And having edges." Cole adds, unsure if that even makes sense.
"I see. I'm a bit of the opposite- when you possessed me, I felt lighter almost. My edges felt… softer." Zane replies, looking down at his hand. He rubs his thumb and index finger together, and nearly cringes at how his sharp sensors report to his Hud.
"I get it…" Cole nods, doing the same with his hand- but he feels nothing at all and the edges of his fingers fuse together until he puts effort into separating them again. "When I became a ghost, I… lost a lot of things." He continues, feeling a little desperate to keep the conversation alive. "Some stuff, I didn't even know I was missing. But when I… possessed you… I felt complete for the first time in a… while." Cole chuckles nervously as he finishes. Zane nods in full understanding, and Cole doesn't know why he ever doubted his friend.
" Stuff you didn't know was missing… Yes, that is a sufficient explanation for me as well. I have never lost the things I had felt, however- That was the first time I've felt them. I didn't know there was such a large gap between what and how you humans feel, to what and how we nindroids feel." Zane responds with his own experience. Cole hadn't even considered there being a difference between them at all- Zane has always just been Zane to him, so this actually has Cole thinking.
"Man, I haven't thought about that either…" Cole says weakly, feeling a bit bad for his friend.
"Yes. So I think I should actually thank you for possessing me. It was rather nice." Zane replies, smiling at his friend. Cole would blush if he had blood, but instead he can see his green glow brighten, which is embarrassing enough to just make him glow brighter.
"Yeah, it was…" Cole smiles back, reminiscing about the feeling, now that his shame has become miniscule.
"We should do it again." Zane states, cutting Cole's thoughts extremely short.
"What?!" Cole shouts, surprised- but then he quiets down. "What?" He asks again, quieter.
"It only seems like a nice course of action after finding out we were both fine with it." Zane answers with a shrug. Cole gives a slow nod as he considers this.
It's not that Cole was uncomfortable with the idea- in fact, he was rather ecstatic that Zane was the one to suggest it- it's just that… it feels like such an… intimate thing to be asked. Zane wants Cole to possess him- There's plenty of inappropriate innuendos that Cole's mind immediately flies to.
"Okay, if you're… sure." Cole shifts over, not certain on how to go about this. Last time it was an accident. Doing it on purpose feels… different.
He lets his hands phase through Zane's titanium. Zane gives a shiver at the feeling.
Leaning in closer, Cole and Zane make eye contact that- makes it just that much more intimate. Cole takes a deep breath and lets himself sink into his friend.
When he opens his eyes again, he's heavy once more. Instantly, his mind is relaxed, and he looks down at himself.
No not himself- Zane. Right. It's weird how disorienting it is, and yet still so calming.
Zane's shiny hands flex under his control. The soft whirring under the titanium is surprisingly soothing as well. It's not quite the same as how he used to feel when he was alive, but it was close enough that Cole could feel his eyes tear up with it.
"Cole?" Zane asks, moving his hand to his eyes, feeling the tears as well. "This is… you?" Then the nindroid feels himself nod.
"Y-Yeah, sorry." Cole apologizes with Zane's voice, taking the hand back to wipe a fallen tear.
"I was not aware I could…" Zane tapers off, feeling the liquid on his fingers. Cole blinks, accidently causing more to spill over.
"You've never cried?" Cole asks, not sure if that's what Zane was going to say.
"I haven't… I didn't know I was able to." Zane replies, blinking more tears out. The foreign feeling of cold tears on his face was… welcome.
"S-Sorry, I don't even know why I-" Cole's apology is cut off.
"No, it's nice. Please keep going." Zane suggests, gesturing for Cole to continue.
"Oh, okay," Cole nods. It takes a bit of effort, but he tries to welcome his emotions whole-heartedly.
As a ghost, he was sort of numb. He didn't even notice that- his emotions were dulled down. But here, in Zane, he can feel again, so he lets himself feel.
Taking a shaking breath, and using Zane, Cole cries comfortably for the first time in months. His tears don't sting, and that just makes him cry harder.
"Hey, Zane, have you seen my-" Kai comes into the room, then halts at the sight of his friend. Cole and Zane freeze. "Hey, what's wrong? What happened?" He immediately sits next to his friend(s), his voice soft and concerned.
"Nothing, I'm okay!" Cole answers for them, quickly panicking and wiping their eyes. Of course, since Zane isn't the one to say it, it doesn't come out sounding honest.
"Zane, you don't need to lie to me, I mean, we're friends- you can tell me anything!" Kai explains, comfortingly. While Zane does appreciate this sentiment, he doesn't really need comforting.
"Really, Kai, I'm alright. I've just discovered I have the ability to cry and I was experimenting with ways to achieve it." Zane responds, honestly. Kai leans back, squinting suspiciously at the change of inflection in the nindroid's voice.
"...You're sure?" Kai asks, sounding unsure, but more convinced than before. Zane nods, and Cole is happy to sit back and let him take care of this- he already caused enough trouble.
"Of course. I would let you know if something was truly wrong." Zane offers. Cole gives an instinctual sniffle, even if Zane doesn't have any snot functions to go with the tears. The furrow in Kai's eyebrows shows that he's probably not going to drop it forever, but he does do it for now.
"Okay… Well- have you seen my mask? I can't remember where I last put it." Kai continues his original question, giving a short and bashful chuckle.
"Oh, I remember seeing it on a barbell in the workout room." Cole answers, perking up, happy that he knows the answer. Kai sighs in relief.
"Great, I was afraid I left it up on the deck while it was raining yesterday. Thanks, Zane!" Then Kai takes his leave, giving Cole and Zane their solitude back.
"Perhaps we should go somewhere more private…" Zane says. Cole sniffles again and nods. Zane goes to stand, but then they stumble.
Blinking at the unexpected challenge, Cole takes a step forward. Zane allows this, pausing. Cole takes a moment to grab the book Zane was reading, and Zane smiles at the thoughtfulness.
Then, when they manage to get to the hallway containing their rooms, Cole goes to step towards his room, while Zane does the same towards his. This causes them to fall to the ground loudly. Cole gasps, fear of falling through the ground all too familiar. Zane blinks at the fear, feeling it as if it were his.
"Your room, or mine?" Zane asks, pushing himself back up. Cole gives a chuckle.
"I'd hate to intrude even more, but I don't want to force you to be in my room." He replies, giving a shrug. Zane wants to say that he doesn't mind either way, but Cole takes him by surprise and takes control to walk to Zane's room.
Together, they sit on Zane's bed. Cole looks down at the book, appreciating that it's still clutched in their hand. He takes a moment to read the title before setting it on Zane's bedside table.
"So… you wanna keep crying, or…?" Cole asks, feeling a bit awkward. While outside in the open, it wasn't so bad, but weirdly enough, being secluded in Zane's room, it feels even more personal.
"No, though I was enjoying it. I think I just want to keep enjoying your company." Zane states, sliding back into his bed and getting comfortable under the covers. Then Zane feels a few of his inner systems overheat a bit- that was not from him. "That's odd…" He mutters, placing a hand over his chest plate.
"What is it?" Cole asks, feeling the warmth as well, and knowing it was because of him. He can only hope that's not what Zane's talking about
"I was feeling flustered, but there was no reason for- Or was that… you?" Zane questions, surprised. Cole's embarrassment at the call-out just makes more systems overheat.
"Y-Yeah, but it's not my fault- you said you've been enjoying my company!" Cole says, reaching up to cover their face like there's a blush to hide.
"But I do. Why would that make you flustered?" Zane asks, frowning, lowering the hands for a second to keep his voice from being muffled, but he lets Cole continue after he's done.
"Zane, you can't just say stuff like that…" Cole replies, then lowering their hands on his accord. Zane nods consideringly.
"Because you don't believe I am being truthful?" Zane tries to understand, but he's not sure what else it could be.
"Yeah, right- we all know you can't lie to save your life, Zane." Cole laughs, taking a hand to appreciate the fabric of Zane's blanket. It's been a while since he could feel specific textures, and the fluffy blanket Zane has provides a pleasant sensory experience.
"So, what is it?" Zane asks, watching Cole pet his blanket. Cole pauses and causes a few more heat warnings to flash over their Hud.
"Well… it's just a bit overwhelming… 'cause it means a lot coming from you, alright?" Cole finally answers honestly, nervous and petting the blanket even more. Zane widens their eyes, and Cole can feel his surprise.
"Oh." Zane states, finally realizing what that feeling that came with Cole- one that was so similar to a feeling of his own, just slightly different- he finally realizes what it is. "You love me." Zane continues, tilting his head. Cole makes their power source go off like crazy at Zane saying it aloud.
"...Yeah… I'm sorry, I'll-" Cole moves to separate them, but Zane stops him.
"Cole." Zane interrupts, not really knowing how he manages it, but desperate to get Cole to stay. Then, he pushes forward his similar feeling, letting Cole feel it.
It's weird- to feel feelings for yourself. Cole is thrown aback- it's probably the oddest sort of self-love he's ever experienced.
" Oh." Cole breathes out, closing their eyes and places a hand on their chest. " You love me."
"Yes." Zane agrees under their breath.
"Okay, hang on-" And then Cole really does separate them, leaving Zane to feel more alone than ever. It's not like Cole leave leaves though, still sitting half inside of Zane.
Zane appreciates seeing Cole again, at least. Giving a smile at Cole's lovestruck and shocked face.
"You mean it?" Cole asks, putting his hands on Zane's shoulders. Zane gives a nod.
"You felt it. Would telling you really matter?" Zane asks, tilting his head. Cole chuckles and shakes his head, but then he nods.
"It matters a lot, so, c'mon, just say it." Cole encourages, patting one of Zane's shoulders. Zane gives a soft laugh.
"I love you, Cole." Zane gives in easily. Then, a hand on Zane's shoulder transfers to his face, and Cole's lips are on his.
"I love you, too." Cole replies, just a bit breathless as he pulls away. Then he leans back in and settles back into his friend, more comfortable than he's ever been in his afterlife. "So… do you… want to label our relationship, or m-maybe we could wait…?" Cole continues, holding one of Zane's hands with his other hand.
"Well, I do like being… this. Us. Is that enough?" Zane asks, not quite sure what labels Cole is referring to. Zane feels Cole smile, and a warm fluttery feeling flies around in their chest.
"Yeah, I think that's perfect." Cole accepts, using their arms to wrap around their chest- a sort-of self hug that he dedicates to the other half of himself. They sit on Zane's bed, sharing a mutual warmth that has them smiling twice as much as they would alone.
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