Work Text:
💫
Mark wasn't quite sure of his feelings. He's never been good with them but now he really wished he was.
Mark wasn't quite sure of much, really.
Mark always tried his best to do his best. He really thought that would be enough. Turns out there's a lot more involved.
He just got too into his head and overthought every little thing he did, which is what he was currently doing.
"Mark. Dude."
Mark blinked a few times, looking up at Jaehyun. Mark fixed his expression, smiling a little. "What's up?"
"You've been completely zoned out for like twenty minutes." Jaehyun sat on the floor next to Mark, bumping his shoulder, "You okay?"
Mark nodded, looking at the floor. "I'm good. Tired, I guess."
Jaehyun gave him a look that Mark couldn't quite decipher. Jaehyun just gave a small nod. "Okay."
Mark let his eyes wander the practice room. His eyes landed on Johnny laughing with Doyoung. Mark smiled a little. He liked Johnny's laugh.
Johnny must have felt eyes on him because he slowly turned his head to Mark, smiling wider when he caught his eyes. Johnny winked at him before turning back to Doyoung. Mark looked over at Jaehyun who was laying on the floor with his eyes closed.
Mark pushed himself off the floor, excusing himself to the bathroom. He hurried down the hall, going to the bathroom he knew no one else used.
He checked to make sure no one was inside before locking himself in the stall at the end. He leaned on the wall, pulling his glasses off his face. He pressed the palms of his hands to his eyes, inhaling a slow breath.
The door opened and Mark froze. He put his glasses back on, looking in the direction of the door.
"It's just me."
Mark let out a breath, unlocking the stall door. He peaked his head out, smiling at Johnny. Johnny grinned right back, setting a hand on Mark's chest, pushing him back into the stall. Johnny locked the door, keeping his eyes on Mark's.
Mark crossed his arms over his chest. "You're going to get us caught."
Johnny gasped in fake offense, resting a hand over his chest. "Me? I would never."
Mark rolled his eyes, reaching up to cup Johnny's cheeks. Johnny smiled down at him, eyes wrinkling at the corners. Johnny bent down at little, wrapping his arms around Mark's waist, holding him tight.
"You couldn't wait until we got home?" Johnny raised his eyebrows, slipping a hand under Mark's crew neck.
"Me? You're the one who followed me." Mark slung his arms around Johnny's neck, playing with the hair at his nape.
"Can't help myself." Johnny grinned, leaning down to finally connect their lips. Mark let out a quiet hum, tilting his head up a little, easily becoming putty in Johnny's hold.
Mark pulled away, leaning back in Johnny's hold. His eyes roamed Johnny's face, pulling the collar of Johnny's t-shirt down. Mark couldn't hold back the smirk on his face, pressing a finger to the fading bruise.
Johnny watched Mark, pinching his hip. "Stop it. You're lucky it's low enough."
"Can't help myself."
Johnny huffed out a little laugh, hands slipping down to Mark's ass. He gave a small squeeze, pulling Mark closer.
"Johnny!" Mark whisper yelled, pushing Johnny off of him.
"What? You have a nice ass, sue me." Johnny held his hands up in defense, taking a small step backwards.
Mark grabbed Johnny's shoulder, stepping on his tiptoes to press a quick kiss to Johnny's lips. "Come over when we get home?"
"Of course."
Mark smiled, slipping out of the stall. He went back to the practice room.
Mark was sure of one thing, he was absolutely down bad for Johnny Suh.
💫
Johnny waited, very impatiently, in his room until Mark texted him.
"Hyung. Chill out? Why're you so wired up?" Haechan threw a crumpled receipt at him.
"I'm not," Johnny mumbled, picking his phone up for the third time in a minute. Still no text.
"Yes, you are. I'm getting like secondhand anxiety right now and I'm trying to sleep." Haechan rolled over, lifting his head to look at Johnny. "You okay?"
"I'm fine." Johnny ran a hand through his hair, leaning back against his headboard.
Haechan groaned, sitting up. He climbed off his bed, tripping over his blanket, climbing into Johnny's. He slung an arm over Johnny's waist. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
Johnny felt bad for lying, especially to Haechan. Saying anything else would force Johnny to admit things to himself that he wasn't quite ready to admit.
Haechan looked up at Johnny, eyebrows pinched together. Haechan could easily read his members. Haechan sat up, facing Johnny. "You can talk to me. You know I'll listen and keep it to myself."
Johnny looked down at his lap, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. "I- I like guys. I think."
"You're gay?"
"No." Johnny gently shook his head.
"Bisexual?"
Johnny shrugged. "Probably."
"Hyung," Haechan whined, pulling Johnny in for a hug. "You have my full support. Always."
"Thanks Hyuckie." Johnny hugged him back, pushing him away when Haechan landed a fat kiss on his cheek. "Dude."
"What? I'm showing support, be appreciative." Haechan rolled his eyes, going back to his own bed. "Now stop with the identity crisis. I'm trying to sleep."
Johnny rolled his eyes, getting out of bed when his phone dinged. "Whatever."
Johnny grabbed his phone, slipping out of the room. He slipped some shoes on, leaving as quietly as he could.
He felt relived. He felt a little of the weight fall off his shoulders when he told Haechan.
He took the stairs to the tenth floor, texting Mark that he was at the door when he got there.
The door slowly opened, Mark smiling up at him. Mark pulled him in, immediately pulling Johnny to his room. He closed the door behind him, pushing Johnny into the door. Johnny raised his eyebrows, grabbing Mark's waist. "No hi, hello, how are you?"
Mark laughed, cupping Johnny's neck. "Hi, hello, how are you?"
"I'm really good, you?"
"Shut up and kiss me already you idiot."
Johnny grinned, leaning down to press his lips to Mark's. Mark leaned into Johnny, pressing their chests together. Mark leaned up, tilting his head. Johnny swiped his tongue over Mark's lips. Mark parted his lips, tangling his fingers in Johnny's hair. Johnny squeezed Mark's waist as he licked into his mouth. Mark whined, pulling Johnny closer.
Mark pulled back, gasping in breaths. Johnny slid a hand up Mark's front and up to the side of his neck. Johnny ran his thumb over Mark's adams apple as he connected his lips to Mark's neck. Mark let out a quiet moan, tugging on Johnny's hair.
"Johnny-"
"I know baby." Johnny pressed one last kiss to Mark's lips before pulling away.
"No, that's not what I meant." Mark pulled Johnny back to him.
"What?" Johnny leaned back against the door, eyebrows furrowed.
Mark looked up at him, pressing a soft kiss to his jaw. He didn't respond instead leaning up to connect their lips. Mark pulled Johnny away from the door, leading him to his bed. He pushed Johnny down, crawling into his lap. Johnny looked up at Mark, fondness being the only thing in his eyes. Mark smiled before leaning down to kiss him again.
It was slow and lazy and everything Mark wanted. Johnny grabbed Mark's legs, giving them a small squeeze. Mark pulled back, leaning his head on Johnny's shoulder. "Stay?"
"I shouldn't."
Mark slouched against Johnny, cupping the side of his neck. He sat up, pecking Johnny's lips. "Okay."
Johnny held Mark into place when the younger tried to get up. Johnny let out a small sigh, rolling them over. Mark gasped, grabbing Johnny's shoulders. Johnny brushed Mark's hair from his face. "I'll stay until you fall asleep. Okay?"
Mark nodded, a smile quickly taking over his lips. "Deal."
Johnny laid down, holding his arms open for Mark. Mark wrapped his arms around Johnny, resting his head on Johnny's chest. Johnny held Mark close, pulling the blankets over them. He pressed a kiss to the top of Mark's head. "Get some sleep Mark."
Mark nodded, nuzzling into Johnny's chest, inhaling the comforting smell of Johnny's cologne.
"Thank you."
💫
Johnny woke up far too early for his liking. It was a little after four in the morning and he, for once, didn't wake up absolutely freezing. In fact, he was sweating balls. For once he was a little upset Haechan forgot to turn the fan on.
Johnny kicked the blanket off of him, freezing when there was a groan that didn't come from him. He turned his head to see Mark clinging to him. He gulped, looking away. He moved to get up, Mark just tightening his arms around Johnny. Johnny grabbed Mark's arm, removing it from his person. He got up, covering Mark back up.
He smiled a little at how content Mark looked. He leaned down kissing Mark's cheek. He grabbed his phone before quietly leaving the room.
"What are you doing here?"
Johnny jumped, turning to Yuta. "What?"
"Why're you here?"
"Uh-"
"Whatever. I'm going back to sleep." Yuta waved him off, going back to his room.
Johnny went back down to the apartment he actually lived in. He went to his room, trying to navigate through it in the dark.
He sat on his bed before laying back, just staring up at the ceiling.
It's been almost five months of whatever he and Mark had.
They had been alone, the other members going home for a break. Yuta even flew home. Mark and Johnny were just binge watching a tv show, sitting too close together on the couch.
Johnny wasn't really confident in himself yet. He had barely just come to terms with his sexuality. He knew that he liked Mark though. That's the one thing he was sure of.
Mark came out to him that night, knowing Johnny was best person to choose to be the first member to tell. Johnny had only ever been accepting of everyone he met and Mark knew he could trust him.
Mark had paused the show they were watching, Johnny turning to him all confused before quickly turning to concern when he saw the look on Mark's face.
"What's wrong?" Johnny asked, grabbing Mark's wrist.
"I'm gay."
Johnny's eyes had widened, eyebrows shooting up to his hairline. "Really?"
Mark gave a slow nod, looking down at his lap.
"Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me." Johnny smiled, patting Mark's head all while ignoring the immediate jump in his heartbeat.
It had been the day before the members were supposed to start coming back that Mark had kissed Johnny. They had both been a little inebriated, Mark a little more than Johnny. Johnny froze, hand wrapping around Mark's wrist.
Mark pulled back, going straight into panicking. He shot up from the couch, apologizing furiously. Johnny just pulled him back down, connecting their lips again.
Johnny came out to Mark even if he didn't really know what he was coming out as. Mark was ever so supportive though.
That continued going on for awhile. Just kissing and more kissing.
Mark was the one who said he didn't want to label it and although Johnny felt his heart crack a little, he agreed. He'd agree to anything if it meant Mark would keep looking at him like that.
Johnny wasn't quite sure when he felt his feelings grow. He only realized when Mark had dozed off in the practice room, head falling to Johnny's shoulder. Johnny felt like his world collapsed. Dramatic or not, Johnny felt awful.
He knew it was gonna fuck things but he ignored it, pushing it as deep as he could inside himself.
Johnny was overthinking again and when he started doing that, getting all in his head, he created bad ideas in his head.
Which he was currently doing. He thought about what would happen if he confessed to Mark that he was in love with him. How Mark would react. Johnny would like to think that Mark would feel the same but he also knows that's probably not going to happen.
Johnny knew that, to Mark, he was just someone easy to fuck around with, without getting caught. As much as Johnny liked to pretend that it wasn't true, deep down he knew it was.
Johnny liked to think that Mark loved him as much as Johnny loved Mark.
In a way, Johnny did feel a little icky. He's four and a half years, give or take, older than Mark. He's known Mark since he was like in grade seven. To anyone else, that may looks a little suspicious.
Even though Johnny knew that Mark initiated everything and was the one calling the shots, other people may not see that. Not that anyone would ever see that.
There was no way in hell Johnny was ever gonna spill his guts to Mark, let alone anyone else. Other than Haechan of course. He somehow managed to get everything out of Johnny even if he wasn't trying.
Johnny let out a soft sigh, climbing up his bed. He cuddled a stuffed animal to his chest, hiding his face in it. He had about an hour before he actually had to be up and he knew there was no way in hell he was getting anymore sleep.
Johnny froze a little when his bed dipped down. He turned his head to see Haechan. Haechan gave him a sleepy smile, wrapping his arms around Johnny. "I can feel your anxiety."
"Don't worry about it." Johnny faced back to the wall.
"I always worry."
Johnny didn't have any capacity to even try to decipher what that meant. "You don't have to."
"Too bad."
Johnny gave up, knowing better than to argue with Haechan. Johnny just tried to relax before they had to leave to rehearsal for the Link, again.
"Where did you go last night?"
And just like that, Johnny's body was no longer relaxed. "What?"
"You left last night. Where did you go?" Haechan leaned up on his elbow, looking at Johnny's face.
"Nowhere."
Haechan rolled his eyes, laying back down. "I know you were with Mark."
"What?"
"You smell like his shampoo," Haechan mumbled, pinching Johnny's stomach. "I don't care. Just be safe."
"Shut up."
Haechan huffed out a laugh, tightening his arms around Johnny. "Never."
"Go to sleep."
Haechan just nodded, burying his face in Johnny's back.
Johnny was going to tell Mark. He had to.
💫
Johnny absolutely wasn't going to tell Mark.
He decided the second he saw Mark in the van that he wasn't going to utter a single word of his thoughts to him.
Johnny just couldn't risk losing Mark, in any capacity.
Mark had been very clear with what he did and did not want from Johnny and as much as it was eating Johnny up, he wouldn't go against that.
"Hyung?"
Johnny turned to Mark, blinking a few times to refocus. "What's up?"
"You okay?" Mark's eyebrows were furrowed and Johnny just wanted to kiss him for like ever preferably.
"Tired." Johnny looked away, grabbing his coffee.
"Tell me about it," Mark groaned, leaning on the wall.
"Did you sleep okay?"
"Until you left." Mark smiled up at Johnny.
Johnny felt his heart flutter a little, eyes leaving Mark's. "Is that so?"
Mark hummed, glancing around the room before looking back at Johnny. He linked his pinky with Johnny's. "Wanna come over later?"
Johnny hesitated, looking away from Mark. His eyes locked with Haechan's. He pulled his hand from Mark's. "Sure."
Mark furrowed his brows, eyes flitting over Johnny's face. "Cool."
The rest of rehearsal, Johnny was on edge. He was stiff and it was pointed out to him every five minutes.
"Johnny. Loosen up."
Johnny looked at the floor, running a hand through his hair. "Sorry."
"Go take a walk." Their choreographer waved him off, nodding at the door.
Johnny let out a breath, closing his eyes. He ignored the tension in the room as he turned and walked out. He walked down the hall, hands resting on his head. He reached the end, leaning on the wall. He closed his eyes, inhaling and exhaling slow breaths.
He rolled his shoulders, hanging his head.
He let out a shaky breath, shaking his hands out. He hurried into the bathroom, locking himself in the stall. He spun in a circle, pressing his hands to his eyes.
He let the silent tears fall for about five minutes before he forced himself to stop. He cleared his throat, splashing some cold water on his face. He rubbed his eyes, making the slow walk back to the practice room.
He needed to tell someone. He needed to talk to someone, anyone, before he exploded.
He gently pushed the door open, slipping in. He walked to his bag, grabbing his mask. He put it on before turning back to the group.
All eyes were on him and it made him want to cry again. He dropped his gaze to the floor, unable to look any of them in the eye.
"In your place John."
Johnny hurried to his spot, looking at their teacher. He ignored any and all looks of concern he was getting through the mirror.
Especially Mark. Him especially.
About an hour later they had a break so their choreographer could take a phone call.
Johnny sat against the wall, leaning his head back against it. He brought his knees to his chest, hugging them tight. He rested his head on his knees, closing his eyes.
"What's wrong?"
Johnny was getting sick of that question. He glanced at Taeyong before closing his eyes again. "Tired."
"You don't cry because you're just tired," Taeyong sighed.
"Babies do."
"You're twenty seven."
"So?"
"You're not a baby."
Johnny shrugged. "I'm just tired."
Taeyong gave Johnny's shoulder a small squeeze before getting up.
Johnny was tired.
💫
Johnny was getting increasingly more and more frustrated with himself.
He just kept fucking up.
Never anything big, just small little things that were pissing him off.
"Johnny what the hell is going on with you?"
Johnny flinched, trying to maintain eye contact. He just messed up another step in the choreography for Sticker, for the third time in a row.
"Sorry."
"I don't care. Again. One more and you're taking a lap."
Johnny nodded, pushing his hair back. They all moved to their starting positions for the fourth time.
He almost did it that time, almost made it through. It was the last chorus and there was probably thirty seconds left of the song when Johnny stumbled. He didn't even try to play it off, he was at the front of the formation. He closed his eyes, clenching his fists at his sides.
"Go. Out. Just- just go home dude. Be back tomorrow with a clear head."
Johnny turned, grabbing his stuff on the way to the door. He felt tears burn the back of his eyes as he pulled the door open. He hurried down the hall and to the stairs.
He just really needed to get out there.
💫
Johnny hid for the rest of the day. He stayed in his room, ignoring every single pry from Haechan and every text from Mark.
Haechan silently comforted him though, latching onto him on his twin sized bed as silent tears fell down his cheeks. Haechan didn't ask questions, just offered comfort.
The next time he left his room was for practice.
He changed into fresh clothes, pulling a hat on. He made himself look presentable as much as he could with swollen eyes and a puffy face.
He climbed into the van, leaning on the window.
None of the members said anything and he hoped it would stay that way.
Practice went smoother than it did the day before.
Johnny only messed up once but was able to play it off. He was relived.
Johnny sat by himself during their lunch break. He wasn't really hungry but knew he had to eat.
He could feel eyes on him but he tried to ignore it as he pushed the food around, settling on the coffee sitting next to him.
Mark sat across from him.
Johnny jumped, looking up at Mark with wide eyes.
"I was waiting for you last night."
"I just needed a minute."
"I know." Mark smiled. "Wanna talk about it?"
Johnny gently shook his head. "Not really."
"That's okay. Wanna watch a movie tonight? Just relax?"
"Sure."
"You should eat."
"Not hungry."
Mark hesitated, glancing behind him before switching to English. "You know you can talk to me. I'll listen."
"I know."
Mark let out a little sigh. "Johnny, I'm worried about you."
"Don't be."
Mark rolled his eyes. "That's the dumbest thing you've said, probably ever. If you need a break, take a break. No one will judge you. You need to take care of yourself."
"I know, Mark. Okay?" Johnny closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. "I'm working on it."
Mark waited for a second before getting up to leave Johnny alone.
Johnny swallowed, pushing his food away from him. He felt like he was going to vom and he didn't need another fuck up to add to the list.
He just wanted to sleep, preferably for an extended amount of time.
💫
Johnny stuck to his word, going up to Mark's room when they got home.
Mark smiled when he opened the door for Johnny, pulling him to his room. He grabbed his laptop, opening netflix.
Johnny hesitated by the door before walking over to Mark.
Now or never.
Johnny knew that no matter if Mark felt the same way, the only way he was gonna chill the fuck out was to tell him. As much as he didn't want to, he had to or he might lose his mind. Even if that mean risking Mark.
The thing about Johnny is that he always assumed the worst. He tried and succeeded in perceiving himself as a confident and laidback guy when in reality he was the opposite.
He knew confessing to Mark would most likely blow up in his face but a small part of him was hoping Mark changed his mind.
All Johnny knew was that if he kept this inside his silly brain that he might go crazy and slash or have a mini stroke. It's all he could think about and he was sick of it. He couldn't focus and he needed it to stop.
"Can we talk?" Johnny sat on the side of Mark's bed, facing slightly away from him. "About like us?"
Mark set his phone down, eyebrows furrowed. "What's wrong? Do you wanna stop? I won't like-"
"No, no, the opposite actually." Johnny didn't dare look at Mark. "If I asked, would you go out with me? Like officially?"
"I told you I didn't want that." Mark pushed himself off of the bed, pacing a little.
"I know." Johnny kept his eyes focused on his legs.
"So why would you say that? Why would you even bring it up?" Mark turned back to Johnny, arms crossed over his chest. "We are good the way we are."
Johnny shrugged, glancing up at Mark for barely a millisecond. "I love you."
Mark scoffed, shaking his head. "No, you don't."
"Yes I do." Johnny bit at his nail, eyebrows furrowing.
"No you don't. You love the idea of this." Mark gestured between them, shoulders going rigid. "I'm the first guy you've been with. That's what you love."
"Okay." Johnny swallowed, willing his voice and expression to stay even. He reached around, looking for his phone.
Mark watched him for a moment before sighing. "Don't do that."
Johnny let out an exasperated sigh, finally looking up at Mark. "Do what, Mark?"
"You're being dismissive."
"I'm being dismissive?" Johnny stood up, walking over to Mark, getting a bit in his space, looking down at him. "I am not the one being dismissive. I just told you that I was in love with you and you tried to tell me how I feel. You don't get to do that. You don't get to tell me what I'm feeling. Do you understand how hard that even was for me? It took me twenty-six years, twenty six years, Mark! For me to even admit to myself that I'm into guys. We don't all get the luxury of coming to terms with that as easily as you did. You, of all people, don't get to tell me that I'm being dismissive." Johnny sucked in a breath, closing his eyes. He was gonna cry and he wasn't going to do that in front of Mark.
Mark took a step back, getting Johnny out of his personal space. "That's not fair."
"It's not fair? What part of this isn't fair, Mark? What the fuck are you even saying?" Johnny voice broke. He pushed his hair back, looking up at the ceiling, closing his eyes.
"I told you-"
"Yeah, I know. Thank you." Johnny pressed the heels of his palms to his eyes. "Why?"
"What?"
"Why didn't you want to label it, us?" Johnny looked back down at Mark, blinking away the slight possibility of tears.
Mark opened his mouth only to immediately close it, tearing his eyes away from Johnny's.
"That's what I thought." Johnny took a few steps back, shoving his shaking hands into his pockets. "This is exactly why I didn't want to do this, whatever this thing we had was."
"Johnny-"
"Don't." Johnny turned to grab his jacket. "Fuck you, Mark. Seriously."
"Johnny, please just-"
"Can you just stop! Please?" Johnny turned back to Mark, voice cracking. "I need you to- just- just stop. I can't talk about this anymore. It's already embarrassing enough. I'm sorry for bringing it up."
Mark's shoulders fell, eyes falling to the floor.
Johnny opened the door, flinching at the herd of men outside the door, stomach turning. Johnny felt his heart start racing, getting a pain in the side of his neck at the sudden spike in his blood pressure. He harshly wiped at his eyes, pushing through his members. He hurried to the front door, shoving his shoes on, standing on the heels of them. He flung the door open, running to the stairs.
He needed to get out of there.
That is not the way he wanted to come out to his members. He didn't want to do that at all.
He hurried back to the fifth floor, imputing the stupid door code with shaky hands. He locked the door behind him, hurrying to his room. He slammed the door behind him, locking it. He'd worry about Haechan later.
Johnny pulled his hoodie off, feeling like he was burning up. He paced around the room, hands resting on his head. He inhaled a slow breath, letting it out even slower. His mom always used to make him do that when he needed to calm down.
Ultimately, he failed, a sob ripping from his chest as he sat at on the floor. He leaned back against the foot of his bed, squeezing his eyes shut. He pressed his hands to his eyes as sobs poured straight from his lungs.
Johnny buried his head in his knees, hugging them to his chest. He couldn't breathe. He felt like someone was sitting on his chest.
He ruined everything. The group. The dynamic. Everything. Because of him.
The realization that he just fucked up only made him cry harder, shoulders shaking as he tried so hard to stop.
"Johnny!"
Johnny covered his mouth, leaning forward. He tangled his free hand through his hair, gently tugging on it.
He was embarrassed, like unbelievably embarrassed. He honestly, truly, thought that Mark felt the same, or at least liked him back. He felt ridiculous, like he should have known better. Now, because of his stupid mouth and brain combination, he was fucked.
"Johnny, open the door." Frantic knocking followed. Johnny hated it. He hated being the cause of so many problems and he didn't know how to fix any of them. He pressed his hands to his ears, choking out a sob. He curled in on himself, dropping his head between his knees. He clasped his hands at the back of his neck, willing them to stop shaking for even just a second.
The door flung open, bouncing off the wall behind it. Johnny flinched, sob tumbling from his throat. He squeezed his arms around his head, curling up in hopes he'd become smaller, unnoticeable.
"Hyung-" Haechan set a hand on Johnny's arm, sitting in front of him.
"Get the hell away from me." Johnny pushed his hand away, raking his hands through his hair.
"Johnny, let me help. You're gonna make yourself sick." Haechan hesitated before grabbing Johnny's hands, pulling them away from his hair.
"Please go away," Johnny whispered, voice cracking.
Haechan shook his head, grabbing Johnny's cheeks. He tilted Johnny's head up, wiping his tears as they fell. Haechan offered him a small smile. "I'm staying right here until you're breathing normally again."
Johnny's eyebrows furrowed, a little confused by the kindness. He slowly reached up, grabbing Haechan's wrist.
Taeyong stepped into the room. "Johnny-"
Johnny pulled Haechan into a hug, letting out a small sigh. He wrapped his arms around Haechan's waist, clasping his arms. Haechan wrapped his around Johnny's shoulders, gently running his fingertips over Johnny's shoulder blade. Johnny hid his face in Haechan's neck, squeezing his eyes shut tight. "Thank you."
"Anytime."
💫
It had been about a week since their fight and Johnny honestly and truly felt like shit. He already hadn't been sleeping well and now his heart was a little shattered.
He wished he had kept his mouth shut. If he would've just kept everything to himself, he'd still have Mark. Maybe not in the way he wanted but he could live with it.
"Johnny? We're here?"
Johnny jumped a little, looking over at Taeil. He gave a small nod before climbing out of the van. He followed everyone inside.
They were outside the practice room when their manager pulled him to the side. Johnny glanced back at the group before looking at Jihoon. "What's up?"
"I think you should take a break."
Johnny felt his heart race, quickly shaking his head. "No. No, I'm okay. I just- I'll be okay in time for tour. I'm working on it."
"Are you sure?"
Johnny nodded again. "Yes. If not, I'll come to you."
"Good. You better."
They went into the practice room, Johnny stopping dead in his tracks. He looked away from Mark's gaze, setting his stuff on the floor in the corner. He took his jacket off, sitting on the floor.
It was only Johnny, Taeil, Yuta, Doyoung, and Johnny in the practice room. It was a little later in the day but Mark had a dream schedule in the morning.
They were just practicing their individual things for the tour. Taeil was just tagging along because he was bored but they were also figuring out the order of everyone.
Doyoung went first and Johnny really liked it. He already knew Doyoung was insanely talented but he still got shocked by his members talent on the daily.
Johnny really tried to hold back the fond smile when Mark was doing his. He didn't even realize it until Taeil nudged him with a stupid smile on his face. Johnny fixed his face, eliminating all fondness from his face.
Johnny was the last one to go.
"Johnny! Your turn buddy."
Johnny raised his eyebrows, holding back a laugh. He got off the couch, unbuttoning his shirt. A staff member got all the shit out for him. He thanked them, shrugging his shirt off. He pushed his hair back, pulling a hat on.
Johnny got in his place, waiting for the music. He was confident in this. He knew he looked good and the fans would enjoy it.
Johnny ran through it the best he could without his little glass box.
"You're not actually going to get naked are you?" Doyoung walked over, hand over his heart.
"I am." Johnny pulled his hat off, shaking his hair out. "And I'm not naked, just no shirt."
"You're insane." Doyoung's eyes widened as he walked away from Johnny.
"So sexy." Taeil raised his eyebrows, leaning back into the couch.
"We wanted to go for maximum sexiness." Johnny grabbed his shirt, pulling it on.
"Mission accomplished." Yuta stood up, going to the bar Johnny was using. He climbed on top, looking at their manager. "Me too. Give me the music."
Johnny laughed, like a full bellied laugh and he felt great.
He felt loose and relaxed for the first time in weeks. Until he made eye contact with Mark. Mark's expression was unreadable. Johnny kept his gaze on Mark for a second longer before looking away.
He could get over Mark. He could. It would be super easy.
💫
Mark was fucked. He was so fucked.
The second he saw tears in Johnny's eyes he felt his world crumble. He was so terrified of getting his heart broken that he broke Johnny's. That's what was soul crushing to Mark.
He liked Johnny, he really did but it was so hard to get over the scariness of getting hurt. He knew Johnny wasn't like that. He knew Johnny would treat him perfectly but the sliver of possibility that it could happen is why he told Johnny no labels in the first place.
The realization that Johnny's confession was the reason he was acting so weird and off beforehand made Mark want to go back in time and take back that silly little rule he made for them.
Mark wanted to apologize but Haechan told him to wait. Haechan told him everything and it made Mark want to crawl in a hole and die. Johnny crying because of him was the last thing he wanted.
Johnny just looked so tired and Mark wanted to take everything back. Wanted to go back and make himself not be so defensive, tell Johnny that he thought he felt the same.
He couldn't though. Not after the way Johnny looked at him. In all the years he's known Johnny, he'd never seen him look that hurt before.
Mark wasn't going to add any more.
💫
Johnny was excited for tour.
It's only been under a month since everything with Mark and Johnny has not said more than six words to him in that time. On camera didn't count.
They were getting out of the vans at the airport, in front of way too many cameras. Mark bumped into him, muttering an apology, taking a few steps backwards. Johnny just waved him off.
Inside the airport filled with way too many people following them and crowding their space, Mark was shoved into Johnny, grabbing his arm. Johnny grabbed Mark's arm, holding him close without second thought. Johnny knew Mark got anxious during their airport trips, Johnny wasn't just going to push him away. Johnny steadied Mark, pulling him close.
He stuck with Mark throughout all of security, not saying a word the whole time.
Once they were through and to their gate, Mark stopped, grabbing Johnny's arm. "Thank you."
"Of course." Johnny gave a small smile.
Mark opened his mouth to say more but instead just smiled, walking over to Jungwoo. Johnny stood there, frozen, for a second before sitting down.
That tiny little interaction somehow undid everything Johnny did to get over Mark. He had been doing so good. He no longer opened their messages to reread all their old texts or look at all the selfies Mark sent to just him. Johnny realized that he got so many mixed signals from Mark.
Johnny didn't like how much of pull he had to Mark.
Even after Johnny abruptly ended things, Johnny still felt himself wanting to be by Mark, be in his company, but he couldn't. He didn't get that anymore.
The quiet english conversations they had together late in Mark's room or when Mark would text him while they were in the same practice room or the looks they would share.
Johnny missed all of it. He missed Mark.
Mark could utter the first syllable of the word sorry in any language and Johnny feared he would forgive him.
Johnny just wanted his Mark back. The Mark only he was allowed to see.
Johnny fell asleep on the plane, like a baby in a car.
He woke up as they were landing, getting off barely awake. They got there a couple days before, having to quarantine before the show.
Johnny stood at the back of the group. He saw Haechan whispering in their managers ear before smiling and walking away.
Jihoon handed out room keys telling everyone to go take a nap. Johnny followed the group to the elevators, letting them go first.
He waited with a few others while it went up and down before he was able to get on. He pushed the button for the sixth floor where most of them were staying.
Johnny checked the keycard for the room number before going down to the end of the hallway. He opened the door, eyes basically shut.
He pushed his stuff away from him. He leaned on the wall, letting out a soft breath. He was exhausted. He was always super tired after a flight.
"What the fuck?"
Johnny jumped, spinning around. "No."
Mark immediately went to his bag, grabbing his phone. He called their manager. "Jihoon hyung- no- well that's- fine."
Johnny already felt stiff from the plane but now he felt like a piece of birch wood. He didn't know so many muscles could all be tense at once.
Mark tossed his phone on the bed with a groan. "He said the hotel made a mistake but he figured this would be a good opportunity for us to work out our 'problems'."
Johnny just nodded, pulling his hat off. He took his jacket off, setting it on the chair. He felt Mark watching him as he dug through his suitcase to find pants that weren't the jeans he was currently wearing. "I'm gonna take a quick shower."
"Yeah, of course."
Johnny went to the bathroom, setting all his shit on the counter. He started the shower, undressing as it warmed up. He stepped into the scalding water, letting out a sigh. He washed up before getting out. He got dressed, forgoing a shirt as he was now sweating a bit from the shower.
He cleaned up his mess before going back out to the main room. He put everything away, keeping his back to Mark.
Mark watched his every move, eyes trained on Johnny's back as he put all his shit into his suitcase before shoving it under the desk.
"Maybe we should talk." Mark sat up, hands fidgeting nervously in his lap.
Johnny sighed, "later, Mark. I'm exhausted."
"Yeah of course. I can- I'll sit on the couch. You can have the bed. You're taller." Mark got up, snatching his phone off the blanket.
Johnny turned to Mark, eyes blank. "We've shared a bed before, Mark."
Mark looked at the floor. "I know but-"
"It's fine." Johnny walked over, standing next to Mark. "What side do you want?"
"Don't care."
Johnny glanced at him before climbing onto the bed. He let out a sigh, body relaxing. He laid on his back, eyes closed. He rolled over, hugging a pillow.
Mark just watched him, again. He sat on the couch, too wired up to take a nap. He grabbed his headphones from his backpack.
Johnny was out in seconds, soft puffs of air leaving his mouth. Mark watched him and it might have been a little creepy but can you blame the guy?
Johnny just looked so at peace and content when he was sleeping. Mark looked away, laying on the couch.
Mark just fucked around on his phone for awhile. He wasn't sure how long it was before he got hungry. He got up, going to the rooms phone. He ordered dinner for both him and Johnny.
"Johnny?" Mark crouched next to the bed. He gently shook Johnny's shoulder. "Johnny. Hyung."
Johnny groaned, hiding his head in the pillow. "What?"
Mark flinched, shocked at Johnny's morning voice. "Uh- I ordered dinner. Should be here soon."
Johnny gave a small nod, stretching his body. Mark's eyes trailed down Johnny's body before he hastily looked away, not wanting to get any bad ideas.
Dinner came and they ate in awkward silence, Johnny at the desk and Mark on the couch. It was painfully quiet. Johnny sat with his headphones on and Mark pretended to do the same.
Mark tried, he really tried, to keep his eyes from straying over to Johnny.
Mark was tired though. He grabbed all his shit before going to the bathroom to shower. He decided to take an extra long one, hoping that Johnny would already be sleeping by the time he got out.
He unfortunately must have used all of his luck.
He left the bathroom to Johnny already in bed on his phone. Mark shoved his shit into the corner, fiddling around with his stuff.
"Mark."
Mark jumped, turning around. "Yeah?"
"Lay down dude."
Mark pursed his lips before grabbing his phone. He laid down, staring up at the ceiling. He rolled over, facing the wall.
Johnny eventually put his phone down, turning the lamp off on his side. "Want me to keep a light on?"
"No that's okay." Mark wasn't scared of the dark per day but he certainly didn't like it. That being said, he knew Johnny needed complete darkness to sleep.
Johnny waited for a second before getting up. He turned the light on in the bathroom, leaving the door cracked open. He got back in bed, reaching over Mark to turn the lamp off. Mark froze, closing his eyes nice and tight.
Johnny laid back down, closing his eyes. "Goodnight Mark."
"Night."
💫
Mark was going a little stir crazy.
He would've thought that a forced break would be nice but he was going a little insane. Johnny being forced to be in his proximity also wasn't helping.
It had been less than two full days and Mark was getting agitated.
"Dude? Chill out?"
Mark looked over at Johnny who was looking at him with raised eyebrows. Mark looked away mumbling a quick sorry. Mark grabbed his laptop, sitting on the bed.
Mark's eyes once again drifted to Johnny who was now thankfully wearing a shirt.
"Mark."
"Sorry."
Mark looked away, looking back at his laptop screen. He kinda just got in his head again, staring at the black screen.
He zoned out for quite awhile only snapping out of it when Johnny sat next to him. Johnny ordered them lunch, already knowing what Mark would want.
Johnny went back to his laptop. Mark forced himself to keep his eyes on the blank screen. He grabbed his headphones from the table next to the bed. He started a new drama hoping that it would keep him distracted for the foreseeable future.
Lunch came and went.
Mark stayed focused on his drama. He faced away from Johnny, hoping it would be like he wasn't there.
Mark ordered dinner, the unspoken rule of them going back and forth for meals.
They went to bed the same way as the night before and Mark just hoped the next day wouldn't be as awkward.
💫
Mark was wrong. The next day was worse.
Mark woke up late, forgetting to set an alarm. He pulled the blanket tighter around him. He dug his head into his pillow as he always did when he woke up only to realize that it wasn't his pillow. He shot up, nearly falling off the bed. He stumbled to his feet, staring at Johnny with wide eyes.
"I am so sorry. I- uh- I didn't-"
"It's fine." Johnny set his phone down, getting up. "I ordered breakfast but I have to pee so bad so you're on door duty."
Mark just nodded. He sat on the bed, burying his head in his hands. He rubbed his cheeks, trying to erase his embarrassment.
"There's no shot I just did that." Mark flopped back on the bed, throwing the pillow over his head. He wanted that mattress to swallow him up.
Mark groaned when there was a knock on the door. He slapped a smile on his face, pulling a beanie on. He waited until they walked away before grabbing the food. He set it on the desk, going to grab his glasses.
"Hyung?"
"Yeah?"
"What's for you?"
"Uhh one sec."
Johnny came out a second layer, drying his hands on a towel. He looked over the food before separating it. "That's yours."
"Thank you."
Johnny hummed in response, avoiding Mark's eyes.
Mark sat at the table in the corner. "Did you wanna film your vlog first or did you want me to do it?"
"Whatever you want." Johnny glanced over at him.
"I'll let you go first. I'll hide in the bathroom."
Johnny let out a small laugh. "Let me shave and stuff first."
Mark nodded. Johnny grabbed the camera he was given and went to the bathroom. Mark stayed quiet as he heard Johnny talking. He may have been eaves dropping but hearing Johnny talk made him happy.
He kinda just listened, gathering all his stuff to hide out in the bathroom for awhile until Johnny was done.
Johnny came back out a bit later, glancing up at Mark. Johnny sat at the end of the bed. Mark slipped passed him, going into the bathroom. He laid in the bathtub, once again listening to Johnny.
He wasn't sure how long he sat there listening to Johnny talk in his ridiculous morning voice. Mark pretended to be doing something when he heard Johnny say bye to the camera.
Johnny knocked at the bathroom door, peaking his head in. "I'm all done."
Mark nodded, getting out to the tub. He switched places with Mark as Mark sat in his spot at the table. Mark set the camera up.
He fixed his hair before he started filming.
Johnny sat on the bathroom counter, leaning on the wall next to him. He stared at the floor as he listened to Mark, unable to hold back a smile.
He'd be lying if he said he didn't miss Mark. When he woke up this morning to Mark sleeping comfortably on his chest he nearly fell into the deep hole of his thoughts again. He knew Mark didn't do it on purpose but Johnny could pretend.
He knew it was probably a little selfish but he just let Mark sleep.
He had so many things he wanted to say to Mark but he wasn't going to embarrass himself further so he kept them to himself. He couldn't help but think about how different things would he right now if things went differently when he confessed.
How they wouldn't be consumed by complete and utterly awkward silence all day. How they wouldn't be ignoring each other. How they'd be making fun of the hotels mistake.
Johnny imagined it. How they'd spend their free alone time together.
Johnny wished it was real. He could pretend though.
Mark came into the bathroom a bit later. "Johnny?"
Johnny's head snapped up. "Yeah?"
"You okay?"
Johnny got off the counter, nodding. "Yeah just zoned out."
Mark followed Johnny back into the room. Johnny ran his hands over his face, slumping in the chair. Mark stood there, looking at Johnny with worry in his eyes.
"Johnny, I-"
"Please don't," Johnny whispered. He got up, eyes trained on the floor. He cleared his throat. "I'm gonna take a shower."
Johnny pushed passed Mark, going into the bathroom. The shower started seconds later. Mark flinched when he heard Johnny crying.
Johnny wasn't quite sure why he was crying. He did know that he was starting to feel overwhelmed again so he just blamed it on that.
Johnny climbed into the shower, leaning on the wall. He wrapped his arms around himself, squeezing his eyes shut. He sealed his mouth shut, biting his lower lip. He just let the hot water roll over his tense muscles. He's been on edge since he stepped foot in the hotel room.
Johnny stayed in there for awhile, thankful the hotels water never got cold. He did eventually get out though. He got dressed, fiddling around in the bathroom for way longer than necessary.
He frowned when he saw himself in the mirror. He splashed some cold water on his face. He didn't bother drying his hair as he gathered his stuff. He went back to the room, sitting on the floor in front of his suitcase. He kept his back to Mark, feeling Mark's eyes on him.
Johnny hunched over, leaning on the desk chair. He just wanted to hide.
"Johnny."
"Mark." Johnny's voice was hoarse, grainy.
"I'm sorry. I- I didn't-"
"You don't have to apologize. It's my fault. I knew you didn't want that and I still asked." Johnny shrugged, standing up.
"But I-"
"Just drop it. We don't need to talk about it. I'll get over it." Johnny ran his hands through his damp hair. "You don't need to apologize for something I said. Just give me a little time okay?"
"Please just let me-"
"Mark. Leave it alone."
"Can you just let me fucking talk?" Mark stood up, voice raising, frustrated hands running through his hair. He turned around, taking a breath.
Johnny flinched a little, staying quiet.
"If you would just- just let me talk." Mark kept his back to Johnny. "It's- you didn't let me talk."
"So talk." Johnny swallowed, leaning on the desk.
Mark turned around, mouth opening and closing. He felt frustrated tears burn the back of his eyes. He's never been the most eloquent person but in this moment he wished he was. He watched Johnny's eyes fill with tears, looking down as they fell down his cheeks. Mark so badly wanted to say what he knew Johnny was hoping he'd say but he couldn't. He couldn't make any words come out that would express how he felt about Johnny and their relationship.
Johnny's leg shook as he stared at the floor. He felt a little dumb, hoping Mark would say those silly little eight letters back.
"I'm sorry," Mark whispered, barely heard.
Johnny let out a watery laugh, pressing his hands into his eyes. "You're sorry? Thanks Mark."
Mark's shoulders fell. "I- I don't know what you want me to say."
"Nothing. You don't need to say anything. I'm aware of how you feel, Mark. I know what I did was dumb-"
"I didn't say that."
"You didn't have to." Johnny sniffled, wiping his eyes. "All of this, this is my problem, not yours. So stop worrying about it. Please? Just- I don't want to talk about this again."
"You know I can't do that."
"Mark!"
"Fucking Christ Johnny! What the hell is your problem? Can you stop trying to fix everything by yourself?" Mark knew he was getting upset over something so small. He knew he shouldn't yell but he was letting his frustration with himself seep into the conversation.
"My problem? My problem is you at the moment. This isn't- just forget about it." Johnny stood up, pacing the small hallway.
"No."
"I can't- I can't fucking get over you if you don't stop bringing it up! Being stuck in this room with you is hard enough. It- all of it was a mistake. We should've never- never- holy shit Mark-" Johnny dropped to the floor, leaning on the wall next to the bathroom. "Why can't you just- just let it go? I get it, you feel bad but it's embarrassing. It's really fucking embarrassing that I fell for one of my members dude. I accept your apology or whatever now are we done?"
"No."
"Why the hell not Mark!"
"Holy shit Johnny! I love you. Okay! I love you and it's really fucking terrifying."
Both of their phones started ringing but they both ignored it.
Johnny's shoulders fell, bottom lip trembling. "Don't- don't do that."
"I'm in love with you dude."
Johnny shook his head, covering his face. "Mark, I-"
Mark hurried over to Johnny, pulling him into a hug. Johnny choked out a sob, resting his head on Mark's chest. Mark laced a hand through Johnny's hair, the other rubbing up and down his spine. "I don't know why it took me losing you to figure it out but I am down so incredibly down for you."
Johnny let out a small laugh, wrapping an arm around Mark. "Yeah?"
Mark nodded, resting his cheek on Johnny's head. "Like so far gone for you dude. I'm sorry I'm bad with words."
"Not your fault."
"Kinda is but that's okay."
"I need a nap." Johnny leaned into Mark, hiding his face in his neck.
"Can I ask you out first? Or is it like too soon?" Mark gently pat Johnny's head.
"Depends how you ask."
"Johnny Suh. Will you-"
"I'll say no if you keep going like that."
Mark laughed. "Fine. Will you be my boyfriend? Officially? With so many labels. All the labels."
"You're such an idiot."
"Is that a yes?"
"Of course. Why would I say no?"
"I was mean." Mark shrugged, sitting down in front of Johnny.
Johnny shook his head, letting Mark wipe away the leftover tears. "You were scared."
"I was. I am."
"We can go slow." Johnny smiled, grabbing Mark's hand.
"Thank you." Mark gave Johnny's hand a small squeeze. "Can you kiss me? Can I kiss you? How does this work now?"
Johnny rolled his eyes, pulling Mark to him by his hand. Mark yelped, catching himself on Johnny's shoulders. Johnny cupped the side of Mark's neck, pulling him down until their lips met. Mark let out a small sigh, slowly climbing into Johnny's lap. Johnny kept the kiss slow, tilting his head up. Mark slipped his tongue into Johnny's mouth, resting his hands on Johnny's ribs. Mark leaned into Johnny, keeping him close.
Johnny pulled back, grinning when Mark chased his lips. Johnny leaned his head back against the wall, hands dropping to Mark's thighs. "I love you."
Mark flushed, dropping his head to Johnny's shoulder. "I love you too."
Johnny laughed, wrapping his arms around Mark. "This is fucking crazy."
"Yeah?"
Johnny pressed a kiss to Mark's jaw. "You're fishing."
"Hyung," Mark whined, pinching Johnny's side.
Johnny just grinned, easily standing up with Mark in his arms. Mark wrapped his legs around Johnny's waist. "What are you doing?"
Johnny gently set Mark down on the bed, climbing over him. He pecked Mark's lips before laying down. "Nap time."
"You're impossible."
"Who called?"
Mark grabbed his phone. "Jihoon."
"He's next to us isn't he?"
"Probably heard us."
Johnny turned to Mark, leaning up on his elbow. "Can we like, keep this between us for now? I accidentally came out and I need a moment before-"
"Of course. Whatever you're comfortable with."
"Thank you." Johnny let out a small sigh, laying back down.
Mark rolled over onto Johnny, latching onto him. "Love you."
"Love you too Markie."
💫
"We're gonna be late."
"Dude, chill." Mark hurried around the room, grabbing his stuff.
Johnny leaned on the wall next to the door, arms crossed over his chest.
Mark zipped his bag, going over to Johnny. He leaned up to press a quick kiss to his lips before hauling the door open. Mark pulled Johnny out of the room and down the hall to the stairs.
They ran down the stairs and to the group waiting in the lobby. Johnny moved away from Mark, shoving his hands in his pockets. Mark ran a hand through his messy hair, thanks to Johnny, taking a deep breath. "I overslept a little, sorry."
Their manager herded them out of the hotel and to the cars waiting.
Mark looked at Johnny before getting into the car in front of the one Johnny was getting in to.
Johnny got into the car, Haechan sitting next to him. Haechan turned to him. "So?"
"What?" Johnny raised his eyebrows.
"Did you guys work it out?"
"Work what out?" Johnny put his seatbelt on, pulling his phone out of his pocket.
"Don't play dumb," Haechan groaned.
"There was nothing to 'work out'." Johnny shrugged.
"Fine. Be difficult."
Johnny smiled, fixing his mask.
Mark texted him a finger heart with a little "ily" attached. Johnny held back a grin, chewing on his lower lip.
God, he was so gone.
💫
Rehearsal was exhausting but Johnny wasn't quite as tired as he thought he would be.
Mark tried really hard to keep his eyes from drifting towards Johnny but he couldn't help it. He constantly had to make himself avert his gaze to anything other than Johnny. Don't even get him started on the actual concert. He could not take his eyes off of Johnny. Why the hell did he look so fine?
It was mid concert and the beginning for Focus was playing and the second Mark looked over and saw Johnny in that fucking glass box he knew he was done for. Mark tried to pay attention to the task at hand but Johnny was unbuttoning his shirt so he was a little bit distracted.
When Johnny's solo actually started, Mark had to cross his legs and try and think of unsexy thoughts all while Johnny looked like that. His boyfriend looked like that and he was supposed to stay calm and composed. He looked back at the screen, shifting ever so slightly in his seat. Why did Johnny have to look like that. Mark sat on his hands, taking a deep breath.
He looked at the floor, focusing on anything else. When he finally looked up again, Johnny was rebuttoning his shirt. Mark let out a breath of relief, focusing back on the song.
Love on the Floor. Love on the fuckin Floor.
Mark looked at Johnny right before he had to lean over on him. Lean really was probably the worst descriptor Mark could use but he couldn't handle anything more descriptive.
It was going as planned and the second Mark was leaning over Johnny, Johnny cupped the back of his head, pulling him closer. Mark's eyes widened as he laid back down and Johnny rolled over to Jungwoo.
Mark thought about that the rest of the night and on the way back to the hotel. His leg was bouncing the whole car ride and at least two people in the car had told him to chill. He basically ran up to their room, ignoring all and any judging looks from other hotel guests and his members. He unlocked the door, shoving it open. He threw his bag onto the table, pacing the room a little.
Johnny came into the room, a look of worry on his face. "Mark, what's wrong?"
"You- holy shit! What the fuck was that?" Mark walked over to Johnny, grabbing his face, and pulling him into a kiss. He walked Johnny back, pressing him into the door. Johnny let out a noise of surprise, grabbing Mark's hips. Johnny pulled Mark closer, licking into his mouth. Mark leaned up, parting his lips for Johnny.
Johnny pulled away, Mark chasing his lips. Johnny ran his hands up and down Mark's sides. "What is going on?"
"You- you're- Johnny your solo. What the fuck?"
Johnny laughed, squeezing Mark's waist. "Did you like it?"
"'Did I like it?', that's such a silly question. You looked so good. What the hell?" Mark leaned back, cupping the sides of Johnny's neck.
"Yeah? Tell me more."
Mark swatted Johnny's chest, rolling his eyes. "You're insufferable."
"You love me." Johnny raised his eyebrows, pulling Mark flush against him.
"I do." Mark grinned, leaning into Johnny. "What was that during Love on the Floor by the way?"
"You liked it." Johnny leaned down, lips brushing over Mark's.
Mark swallowed, dragging his hands down to Johnny's waist, slipping his hands under the shirt. "You should let me blow you."
Johnny's eyes widened, cheeks flushing. "What happened to slow?"
"Things changed when you looked like that on stage." Mark leaned up, slotting their lips together. Johnny kissed back, hands roaming Mark's body. He grabbed Mark's ass, nudging his knee between Mark's legs. Mark gasped into Johnny's mouth, Johnny's tongue brushing against his.
Mark pulled back, leaning his head on Johnny's chest. "Please? Let me suck you off. I'll be so good for you."
"Okay, baby, okay." Johnny rubbed Mark's back. Mark let out a breath, rutting against Johnny's leg. Johnny pressed a quick kiss to Mark's mouth. "Gonna be good for me?"
Mark frantically nodded, dropping to his knees. He looked up at Johnny with wide eyes. Johnny groaned, running a hand through Mark's hair, resting it on the side of his face. Mark leaned into his touch, eyes fluttering closed.
Mark sat back up, hands going to the waistband of Johnny's sweatpants. He looked up at Johnny, eyebrows raised. "Can I?"
Johnny smiled down at him. "Go ahead honey."
Mark flushed, tugging the pants down Johnny's legs. Johnny may not have shown it but his heart was racing and he was most certainly nervous. He's never been with a guy before and most certainly hasn't been with a woman in a while.
Johnny brushed Mark's hair back so he could see his face better. Mark hooked his fingers through the waistband of Johnny's briefs, pulling them down. Mark's eyes widened a bit before he composed himself. "Jesus-"
Mark spit in his hand before wrapping it around Johnny's cock. Johnny sucked in a breath as Mark slowly started pumping his hand. Mark ran his thumb over the head, dragging his hand back down. Mark wrapped his lips around the tip, swirling his tongue around it.
Johnny let out a quiet groan, tangling his fingers in Mark's hair. Mark slowly took more of Johnny in his mouth. Johnny let out a low curse, his hand slipping down to Mark's cheek, running his thumb under his eye. "Doing so good for me baby."
Mark shuddered, the praise shooting down his spine. He hollowed his cheeks before bobbing his head. Mark opened his eyes, looking up at Mark. Johnny moaned, head falling back into the door.
Mark pulled back, taking a quick breath. He reached back up, wrapping his hand around Johnny. He leaned back down, mouthing down the side of Johnny's cock. He licked a strip up the underside before taking Johnny in his mouth as far as he could. He bobbed his head, looking up at Johnny.
Johnny let out a breathy moan, head banging against the door, mouth falling open. Mark felt Johnny's thigh flex under his hand. He pulled back, keeping the head in his mouth. He pressed his tongue flat over the tip before taking Johnny down his throat.
"Mark- off- fuck, baby, off," Johnny gasped, tugging on Mark's hair. Mark shook his head the best he could with Johnny's dick in his mouth, humming softly. Johnny glanced down at Mark before tipping his head back. "Fuck- Mark-"
Mark squeezed his eyes closed, digging his nails into Johnny's leg. Mark whined as Johnny came down his throat, Johnny's hand tightening ever so slightly in his hair. Mark worked him through it before pulling off and swallowing. He leaned his head on Johnny's leg, mouth falling open with small gasps.
"Thank you. You're fuckin incredible." Johnny looked down at Mark, doing a quick double take. "Are you-"
Mark quickly nodded, eyebrows furrowing. "Close-"
"Come 'ere." Johnny hauled Mark to his feet. "Can I?"
Mark wrapped his arms around Johnny's neck, hiding his face in his neck. "Please- I-"
"You're okay. I got you." Johnny shoved Mark's pants down below his hips. Johnny wrapped a hand around Mark, giving a few quick tugs before Mark was spilling over his hand. Mark whined into Johnny's shoulder, biting down. Mark slumped against Johnny before pulling away. Mark puckered his lips, looking up at Johnny. Johnny smiled, leaning down to kiss Mark.
"I need a shower." Mark cringed a little. Johnny fixed Mark's pants, the younger fake gagging when he did. "That was awful."
Johnny laughed, head going back. He slipped his own pants all the way off, wiping his hand on them like a man, going to his suitcase to grab new ones. "Go shower. I'll wait for you."
"Come with me." Mark looked up at him with that stupid look in his eyes that got Johnny to do anything he asked.
Johnny squinted his eyes. "Fine but keep your hands to yourself."
"Lame."
💫
Johnny was once again sneaking off to Mark's room. They got back from Singapore two days ago and finally had a day they didn't have to do anything.
Johnny waited outside the door, waiting for Mark to let him in. It was like five minutes later when the door slowly opened. Mark grinned, pulling him inside. They went to Mark's room. It was mid day so Mark locked the door as no one respected privacy.
The second the door was closed, Mark was pulling Johnny into a hug. Johnny albeit a little surprised, hugged Mark back. Johnny pressed a soft kiss to the top of Mark's head. "Everything okay?"
"Yeah, just missed this, you."
Johnny's cheeks flushed as he held Mark tighter, resting his cheek on Mark's head. "You flatterer."
Mark looked up at Johnny, eyes twinkling. Johnny cupped Mark's cheek, leaning down to kiss him. Mark slipped his hands under Johnny's hoodie, running his hands up his back. Johnny smiled against Mark's lips, tilting the boys head up. Mark let out a soft sigh, pulling Johnny closer.
Mark pushed Johnny's hoodie up, pulling back. "Off? Please?"
Johnny raised his eyebrows but pulled it off anyway. Mark looked him up and down and Johnny poorly held back the smirk. "Better?"
Mark nodded, pulling Johnny to his bed. He gently pressed on Johnny's chest. Johnny sat down, leaning against the headboard. Mark climbed into his lap, grabbing his shoulders. Johnny grabbed Mark's legs, leaning up to reconnect their lips. Johnny swiped his tongue over Mark's bottom lip, Mark parted his lips for him. Mark grabbed Johnny's hands, moving them to his ass. Johnny gave a good squeeze, sucking Mark's lip into his mouth. Mark whined, breaking the kiss. He leaned up, pulling his shirt off.
Mark leaned back down, connecting his lips to Johnny's neck. Johnny sucked in a breath, tilting his head to the side. Mark smiled against his skin, kissing down his neck. He nipped below Johnny's collarbone, gently sucking on the skin there. Johnny let out a soft moan, gripping Mark's ass. Mark rolled his hips down against Johnny's, pressing kisses over Johnny's tattoos. He left a plethora of marks behind, he sat back up to look at them. He looked up at Johnny's face, nearly crumbling at the look in Johnny's eyes.
Johnny's eyes were dark as he looked at Mark with lidded eyes. He had a small smirk on his face and it drove Mark just a little crazy. Johnny dipped his hands under the waistband on Mark's shorts, rolling his hips down. Mark let out a broken moan, dropping his head to Johnny's shoulder.
Johnny bit at Mark's shoulder, grabbing a handful of ass. Mark hid his face in Johnny's shoulder. Mark bit his lip, grabbing at Johnny's shoulder. "Fuck-"
"You okay sugar?" Johnny used his grip on Mark's ass to steadily roll Mark's hips down into his.
Mark nodded against Johnny's skin. His knees tightened around Johnny's hips, eyebrows furrowing. "I'm- holy shit dude."
Johnny hummed into Mark's neck, letting out a low groan. "Sound so pretty."
Mark whined, biting down on Johnny's neck. "Want you to- oh fuck-"
"Want me to what baby?" Johnny gently scraped his nails over Mark's skin, pulling him closer, pressing their bodies together.
"Want you to fuck me."
Johnny let out a soft groan, fingers digging into Mark's skin. "God, Mark."
"Want you so bad." Mark rut his hips into Johnny's, leaning back. He cupped the sides of Johnny's neck, leaning down to slot their lips together. Mark tilted his head, pressing his chest into Johnny's. Johnny pushed his tongue passed Mark's lips, licking behind his teeth.
Mark broke the kiss, keeping their faces close. Mark brushed his lips over Johnny's. He was close and he could tell Johnny was too, the older's thighs flexing under him. Mark reached between them, grabbing Johnny's waist, squeezing at the muscle there.
"Hey Markie! Can you still- oh my god what the hell?" Taeyong threw the door open, immediately stopping in his tracks in the doorway. He stood there with a slack jaw and wide eyes, frozen in his spot.
Mark scrambled off of Johnny, nearly eating shit. He grabbed his shirt, well actually Johnny's, quickly pulling it on. "Out. Hyung. Out." He hurried over to Taeyong, gently pushing him out.
Johnny sat there, eyes closed tight, hands clasped in his lap. Mark pulled an oversized hoodie from his closet, going back over to Johnny. He set a hand on the side of Johnny's face, caressing right under his eye. "You okay?"
Johnny gently shook his head. Mark frowned, helping Johnny into the hoodie. Mark knew Johnny wasn't fully confident in himself and his sexuality so being walked in on probably didn't help. Mark wrapped his arms around Johnny, pulling him into a tight hug. Johnny wrapped his arms around Mark's waist, burying his head in his neck, taking a deep breath.
Mark ran a hand through Johnny's hair. "You're okay. I'm sorry. I swear I locked it."
"I watched you lock it." Johnny let out a shaky sigh, pulling Mark into his lap.
"I'll get it fixed."
"'S okay."
"No it's not. You're upset baby, and you're allowed to be."
Johnny just nodded. "You look good in my clothes."
Mark choked out a laugh. "Yeah?"
Johnny hummed, pressing a light kiss to Mark's neck. "Yeah."
Mark leaned back, quickly kissing Johnny's lips. "I love you."
Johnny smiled, eyes whiskering. "I love you too."
"Do you have any schedules this weekend?"
Johnny thought for a moment before shaking his head. "All clear."
"Good." Mark reached over, grabbing his phone. He did some clicking, hiding the screen from Johnny who pouted. He paused before handing the phone to Johnny. "There."
"What's this?" Johnny scrolled before looking up at Mark.
"An AirBnB just for us, Friday through Sunday."
Johnny couldn't help the smile. "Really?"
Mark nodded, grabbing his phone back. "I need you alone to myself for longer than ten minutes."
Johnny laughed, laying down, pulling Mark with him. "I see."
"First I need to get that fucking lock fixed."
💫
Johnny waited at the door for Mark as usual. They were leaving to go an hour away where they wouldn't be bothered by their members. Johnny leaned on the wall next to the door.
The door swung open and Johnny was pulled in. Johnny yelped, nearly falling. He pulled back on the person pulling him.
"Yuta!"
"Come on." Yuta continued pulling him to the living room, Johnny barely putting up a fight.
Johnny was pushed down on to the couch next to Mark. Johnny looked over at his boyfriend who was sporting a bright pink flush. Johnny furrowed his eyebrows, looking away. His eyes widened as he looked around the room, all of 127 and even a few dream members were there.
"What is-"
"Ah. No talking." Taeyong held up a hand effectively shutting Johnny up.
Johnny looked back over at Mark who was biting on his nail. Johnny gently grabbed Mark's wrist, pulling his hand away from his mouth. Mark glanced over at him, sitting on his hands.
"First, ah how do I say this without being a douchebag? Uh... hm." Taeyong paused, looking at the other group members. "We're super glad that you two made up but-"
Yuta butt in, moving in front of Taeyong. "We just want to make fully sure that the dynamic in this relationship is equal. Johnny is pushing thirty- shush- and Mark is twenty-two. That's like me dating Renjun not that, that's a thing. No offense. Mark is kinda oblivious and a little naive. Taeyong, Taeil hyung, and I talked and after what Taeyong unfortunately walked in on, we wanted to make sure that both parties are being treated well and no one is being taken advantage of." Yuta took a breath, looking back at Taeyong who just shrugged.
Mark was on his feet in seconds, eyebrows furrowed. "Why- why would you think that? What could possibly make you think that Johnny hyung would do that? You're acting like he's over forty. He's twenty seven and I'm fully capable of making my own decisions and choices that aren't fucking stupid!"
"We never said-"
"No, but it was implied. I may have kissed him first but he's the one who confessed first. I- I really don't appreciate you saying, implying, that Johnny would just use me like that. He's barely, and I mean barely, come to terms with his sexuality and identity and this shitty excuse of an interrogation, definitely isn't helping." Mark ran a hand through his hair, a look of frustration on his face. He glanced down at Johnny and he felt his heart crack a little.
Johnny's shoulders were tense, shifted up towards his ears. His eyes were trained on his lap, his leg bouncing. His hands were fidgeting on his lap, shaking like a leaf.
"Why- why would I-" Johnny cut himself off, voice trembling.
"Johnny and I are really happy and I've already fucked this relationship up once so I'd really appreciate it if you didn't do it too." Mark grabbed Johnny's arm, pulling him to his feet. Johnny covered his eyes as he let Mark pull him to his room.
He shut the door, pushing his chair in front of it. He turned to Johnny, pulling him into a hug. "I'm sorry."
"Not your fault," Johnny whispered, barely audible. He gripped Mark's hoodie, pulling him closer.
"I was coming to meet you and they ambushed me." Mark leaned back, pressing soft kisses all over Johnny's face. Johnny choked out a laugh, covering Mark's mouth. Mark grinned, cupping Johnny's cheeks. "There. Needed your smile. You know it's not true right? What they were saying?"
Johnny gave a small nod, smiling down at Mark. "I know. Just got a little overwhelmed."
"Good." Mark leaned up to peck Johnny's lips. "I love you."
"Love you too."
"I'm not naive, am I?"
Johnny hesitated making Mark gasp. Mark gently pushed at Johnny's chest. Johnny grabbed Mark's hands. "Just a little! It's not like it's a bad thing. You just want everything to be good."
"I am not naive."
Johnny just hummed, pulling Mark back to him.
"I'm not."
"Okay, baby." Johnny grabbed Mark's face, kissing the top of his head.
"I love you."
Johnny let out a soft laugh, wrapping Mark in a tight hug. "I love you too Mark."
"Can we go now? I'm starving and it's like a two hour drive." Mark looked up at Johnny resting his chin on his chest.
"Yeah. You're on GPS duty though since I'm driving." Johnny leaned down, pressing a quick kiss to Mark's lips. Johnny rented a car for the weekend so it could be fully private.
"Deal." Mark grabbed his bag, pushing the chair away from his door. He opened it to see their members eaves dropping again. "Really?"
"What?"
Mark raised his eyebrows. "It's weird. You're being weird."
"Whatever."
Mark grabbed Johnny's arm, sliding his hand down into his boyfriends. Mark linked their fingers, pulling Johnny out of the room. Johnny's cheeks flushed as he followed Mark.
"Where you going?"
"None of your business." Mark smiled, slipping his shoes on. "We'll be back Sunday."
"Wait!"
Johnny froze, turning to face Taeyong. Johnny squeezed Mark's hand, pulling it in front of him. "Yeah?"
"We wanna apologize. We don't think of you like that. We just wanted to make sure you guys were treating each other well after the fight." Taeyong gave a small smile. "That being said, we have rules. No being weird in the practice or waiting rooms. No banging while we are in the premises, especially what I walked in on. It was giving porn and I don't need anything be giving that while I'm here."
"We wouldn't-"
"We haven't-"
Johnny and Mark looked at each other, their cheeks turning bright pink.
Taeyong smiled. "Good. Now have fun."
"We will."
"Use protection! Or don't. Mark made me go with him to get tested so you're all clear." Haechan sat on the sofa, immediately bugging Doyoung."Not that he gets any but yeah."
"Oh my god. I'm going to kill him. I'm actually going to murder Lee Donghyuck. I'll apologize to his mother and then I'm going to kill him." Mark glared at the back of Haechan's head.
"Okay! Bye bye!" Johnny pulled Mark out of the apartment and to the elevator.
Johnny dropped Mark's hand, grabbing the bag from him. Mark pouted for a second before quickly getting over it when Johnny asked where he wanted to get lunch.
Johnny opened the passenger side for Mark who smiled up at him. Johnny put Mark's stuff into the trunk before getting into the drivers seat.
"Ready?"
"Can we get McDonald's?"
💫
"Mark. What the hell?" Johnny got out of the car, running over to Mark's side. He opened the door, looking at Mark like he was insane.
"What? You don't like it?" Mark got out of the car, looking up at Johnny with those big brown eyes and Johnny nearly melted into a puddle.
"No, I do. Its just that like, I don't know." Johnny shrugged, going to the back to grab their stuff. He knew Mark made more money than him but he still didn't like it when he spent that much on him. He knew it wasn't just for him and it was for Mark too but still.
"Hyung. I'm allowed to spend my money on my boyfriend however I please." Mark pouted, walking over to Johnny.
"I know." Johnny grabbed their stuff from the back, smiling down at Mark.
"And you better get used to it."
Johnny raised his eyebrows. "Yes sir."
Mark smiled, grabbing Johnny's arm. He pulled him to the front door, putting in the passcode to get the keys. He got them and unlocked the door, holding it open for Johnny.
Johnny set their stuff down, looking around. "Mark."
"Remember what I just said." Mark closed and locked the door, wrapping Johnny in a back hug.
"You're insane."
"Thanks."
Johnny laughed, turning around in Mark's hold. Johnny picked Mark up, setting him on the kitchen counter. "I love you."
"Love you more."
Johnny grinned, grabbing Mark's hands. He pressed soft kisses to each of them. "How are we going to spend our weekend alone?"
"Bangin'."
Johnny raised his eyebrows, leaning back. He crossed his arms over his chest. "Is that so?"
"Yeah. But, I want your first time with a guy to be special so it has to wait. I've put in an order for dinner because I'm a shit cook." Mark cupped Johnny's cheeks, leaning down to press a soft kiss to the tip of Johnny's nose.
Johnny smiled, eyes crinkling. "How thoughtful."
"I do my best." Mark shrugged, pulling Johnny into a kiss. Johnny stepped between Mark's legs, grabbing his hips. Mark pulled back, squishing Johnny's cheeks. "Can we cuddle and watch Criminal Minds?"
Johnny laughed, picking Mark up. "Of course. I get to be little spoon though."
"So not fair."
💫
"Johnny."
Johnny set his phone down, sitting up. "Mark-"
"Cute." Mark took a not so subtle picture of Johnny, Johnny stuck a hand out, trying to cover his face. Mark looked at the picture, a small smile on his lips. Johnny's hair was all messed up due to him playing with it and he was shirtless as the AirBnB was hot as balls and neither of them were able to locate the thermostat.
"You suck." Johnny turned around so his head was now in Mark's lap.
"Uh actually you love me, like a lot." Mark carded his hand through Johnny's hair, grinning down at him.
"You're annoying." Johnny smiled, snaking his hand around Mark's neck. Johnny gently tugged Mark down as he leaned up, connecting their lips. Mark grabbed the back of Johnny's head, lacing his fingers through his hair.
Johnny slowly sat up, moving into Mark's lap. Johnny cupped Mark's face, Mark's hands falling to Johnny's legs. Mark broke the kiss, trailing his lips down Johnny's neck and to his chest. Johnny let out a soft sigh, tipping his head back. Mark gently sucked on the skin below Johnny's collarbone.
Johnny looked back down at Mark before looking up again. He furrowed his eyebrows, looking at the wall across them. "What?"
"What? What's wrong?" Mark gave Johnny's legs a gentle squeeze, looking up at him.
Johnny climbed out of Mark's lap, ignoring the groan from Mark. Johnny walked over, moving a piece of artwork on the table, to the side. "Found the thermostat. I thought you checked here?"
"I did." Mark pouted, turning back to look at Johnny.
Johnny turned the temperature down before looking back at Mark. "What?"
"I thought I'd get to ogle you for the next two days." Mark shrugged, leaning on the back of the couch.
Johnny raised his eyebrows, crossing his arms over his chest. "You get to ogle me all the time. I'm shirtless quite often at home."
"Not privately."
"You're insane."
"And you're hot. Sue me." Mark rolled his eyes, sitting back on the couch. "Now come make out with me again."
Johnny laughed, standing behind the couch. Johnny wrapped his arms around Mark, resting his chin on his shoulder. "You're such a man, Mark Lee."
"A man with a ridiculously hot boyfriend."
Johnny grinned, pressing his lips to Mark's neck. "Yeah?"
"Stop fishing- oh."
Johnny ran a hand down Mark's front, slipping it under Mark's t-shirt. He brushed his fingers under the waistband of Mark's shorts before bringing it up to his chest. "Not fishing."
"I see." Mark leaned his head back on Johnny's shoulder, eyes fluttering shut as Johnny's hand roamed his body. "I think you should- oh wow."
Johnny ran his fingers over Mark's nipple, kissing his jaw. "Use your words baby."
"Johnny, you, oh my god."
Johnny smiled against Mark's skin, brushing his fingers over the bulge forming in Mark's pants. He used his free hand to turn Mark's face towards his. He brushed his lips over Mark's, tilting his head. He dipped his fingers into the waistband of Mark's shorts, thumb running over the skin above his briefs.
Mark leaned up, bringing a hand to the back of Johnny's head. Johnny pulled back a little, smiling at the whine he got in return. Mark laced his fingers through Johnny's hair, gently tugging on it. Johnny inhaled sharply, leaning his head on Mark's.
Johnny shoved his hand into Mark's pants, wrapping a hand around him. Johnny finally pressed his lips to Mark's, swallowing down his moan. Johnny slowly jerked Mark off, slipping his tongue into his mouth.
Mark pulled back, head falling to Johnny's shoulder. He gasped in some breaths, eyes fluttering open. "Johnny-"
"Yes baby?"
"Please." Mark grabbed Johnny's arm, digging his fingers into the skin.
"Please what?"
"Can we- can you- oh my god." Mark squeezed his eyes shut, head falling to his chest.
Johnny wrapped his non-busy hand around the base of Mark's neck, lifting his head back up. Johnny pressed soft kisses to his jaw. "Want me to fuck you?"
"So bad."
"Go to the bedroom sugar." Johnny pressed a kiss into Mark's cheek before he pulled his hands off of him, standing up. He crossed his arms over his chest. Mark looked back at Johnny before getting up, grabbing his bag on the way.
Johnny let the bedroom door close before he let minor panic mode sink in. He looked around the room, running his hands through his hair. He leaned on the back of the couch and took a couple of breaths. He needed to gather himself before he followed Mark.
To say he was nervous would he quite the understatement. He just wanted everything to go well. He may not have been with a guy before but he wasn't stupid. He knew what he needed to do. Also he may have googled a few things just to be sure. Incognito mode just to be safe.
"I can hear you overthinking." Mark peeked his head out before walking over to Johnny. He grabbed Johnny's hands, pulling him to the bedroom. "You don't need to."
Johnny let Mark pull him into the room, shrugging. "It's my thing."
"Yeah, well, you need a new thing." Mark raised his eyebrows.
"I'll work on it." Johnny cupped Mark's cheeks, pulling him close.
"You don't need to be nervous." Mark grabbed Johnny's waist, giving it a light squeeze.
"I'm not-" Johnny paused at the look Mark gave him. Johnny rolled his eyes. "Fine. I'm a little nervous."
"Don't be." Mark smiled up at Johnny. "I trust you."
"Yeah?" Johnny brushed a hand through Mark's hair, resting it on the nape of his neck.
Mark hummed, running his hands up Johnny's back. "Gonna make me feel so good baby. Aren't you? Gonna fuck me so good."
Johnny leaned down, burying his face in Mark's neck. "Yeah, yeah I can do that."
"Good. Now prove it." Mark kissed Johnny's neck.
Johnny grabbed the back of Mark's legs, easily lifting him up. Mark grinned, wrapping his legs around Johnny's waist. Mark wrapped an arm around Johnny's neck, the other cupping his face. Johnny's hands grabbed Mark's ass, his new favorite thing.
Mark leaned down, pressing his lips to Johnny's. Johnny walked over to the bed, gently setting Mark down. Johnny looked down at Mark, running his hand up Mark's leg, dipping his fingers under his shorts. Mark grabbed Johnny's hand, lacing their fingers. Johnny climbed onto the bed, moving between Mark's legs. Johnny glanced up at Mark's face, smiling at him. "Pretty."
"You flirt." Mark rolled his eyes, pulling Johnny down by his hand. "Kiss me."
"You're kind of a brat." Johnny raised his eyebrows, dropping down to his elbows.
Mark grabbed Johnny's waist, pulling him flush to his own body. "I think you enjoy it."
"Yeah?" Johnny leaned on one arm, using the other to push Mark's shirt up to his chest. Johnny sat up pulling Mark's shirt off of him. Mark sat up a little, lacing a hand through the hair at the back of Johnny's head. Johnny leaned back down, pressing his lips to Mark's neck, right below his ear. "I think you should be good for me and listen."
Mark sucked in a breath, tipping his head to the side. "I can do that. I can so do that."
"Good." Johnny dropped back down to his elbows, brushing Mark's hair from his face. "You're beautiful. All mine."
"Possessive much?" Mark flushed, cupping Johnny's cheek.
"Can't help it. Look at you." Johnny sat up, running his hands up Mark's sides, looking him up and down. "You're perfect."
"Johnny-"
"I know." Johnny glanced up at Mark's face, reaching over to the small toiletries bag Mark set down. Johnny leaned back down, connecting his lips with Mark's. Mark let out a soft sigh, hand slipping under Johnny's sweatpants. Johnny trailed his lips down Mark's neck and to his chest. Mark laced his fingers through Johnny's hair. Johnny smiled against Mark's skin, sucking on the skin right below his collarbone.
Mark tugged on Johnny's hair, pulling him back. "That's not fair."
"Why?" Johnny hooked his fingers in the waistband of Mark's shorts.
"I can't do it back." Mark pouted, eyebrows pinching. "You take your shirt off all the time."
Johnny laughed. "There's plenty of skin that I don't show."
Mark raised his eyebrows. "I feel like that's a challenge."
"Go crazy baby."
Mark smiled. "I like that."
"I know you do." Johnny gently tugged on Mark's shorts. "Can I?"
"Dude, I need your dick in me like ten minutes ago."
"Do not call me dude right now," Johnny huffed, pulling Mark's pants off. He threw them to the floor.
"I think you like it."
Johnny raised his eyebrows, grabbing the lube. "You're mouthy."
Mark grinned, brushing Johnny's hair from his face. "Just for you my love."
Johnny rolled his eyes, pouring lube on his fingers. Johnny pushed Mark's legs apart, holding one on the bed. "Mhm."
"You want me to like call you honey or some- Johnny."
Johnny slowly pushed his middle finger into Mark, looking back up at his face. "What was that?"
"You suck- oh."
Johnny slowly moved his finger in and out of Mark, leaning over him. "You okay?"
"You have nice hands. You're good with your hands. Holy shit." Mark grabbed Johnny's arm, eyes closing.
"Thanks baby." Johnny kept his eyes trained on Mark's face, waiting for him to relax a little before adding another finger. Johnny twisted his fingers before curling them up. Johnny adjusted his hand, squeezing Mark's leg.
Mark choked out a moan, fingers digging into Johnny's bicep. "Oh fuck-"
Johnny smirked, just a little, moving his fingers. Johnny licked his lips, leaning down. He nipped at the skin of Mark's inner thigh. "Feel good?"
"You've never done this before? Even with a girl?"
"No."
"That's crazy. Your fingers are crazy."
Johnny laughed, biting Mark's thigh. Johnny pulled his fingers out, adding more lube. He pressed his fingers back in, spreading them. Johnny sat up, wrapping his free hand around Mark's cock.
Mark moaned, legs squeezed around Johnny. Mark's free hand scrambled to grab something, landing on Johnny's shoulder. Mark dug his fingers in, gasping. "I think you need to stop. I'm gonna- holy shit- Johnny-"
"Yes, sugar?"
"Gonna cum. Want you."
Johnny pulled his fingers from Mark, grabbing a tissue from the nightstand. "You okay like this?"
"This is perfect. Wanna see you." Mark ran his hands up Johnny's tummy, grabbing at his ribs.
Johnny climbed off the bed, tugging his pants down his legs. He climbed back on the bed, slotting himself back between Mark's legs. Mark reached up, pulling Johnny's lips down to his own. Johnny pushed his tongue into Mark's mouth, grabbing his hips.
"Are you clean?" Mark pulled back, running his thumb over Johnny's cheekbone.
"Yeah. Taeyong thought he had the clap so he had me go get tested with him. He didn't by the way." Johnny sat up a little. "Why?"
"Means you can fuck me raw." Mark reached for the lube, holding it out for Johnny.
Johnny sucked in a breath, grabbing the bottle from Mark. Johnny sat up, pouring some into his hand. "You sure?"
"If I didn't like it, I wouldn't have asked."
"You're so-"
"Ah."
Johnny lubed himself up, wiping his hand off. Johnny grabbed Mark's hips, pulling him closer. Johnny kept one hand on Mark's hip and the other on his thigh. "Ready?"
"Please just fuck-"
Mark cut himself off with a gasp. Johnny slowly pressed into Mark, running his hand over Mark's leg. "Relax sugar."
"Trying," Mark gasped, eyes squeezed shut.
"Breathe." Johnny stilled as he ran his hands up Mark's sides.
Mark grabbed Johnny's hand, lacing their fingers. He sucked in a breath, blinking his eyes open. "You can move."
Johnny pressed the rest of the way, stilling when his hips met Mark's. He ran his hand over Mark's legs, giving his inner thigh a light squeeze. Johnny leaned down, pressing his lips to Mark's neck. Mark gasped at the movement, hips twitching. Mark let out a small whine, rolling his hips up. He laced his fingers through Johnny's hair.
"Please move? Need it. Need you." Mark tugged on Johnny's hair, freezing when it pulled a moan from the man on top of him. Mark's eyes widened a little, looking down at Johnny. Mark gave another pull, happy to hear another choked moan. "You like that?"
"I guess."
Mark hummed, tugging Johnny's head up. "Fuck me."
"Mark-"
Johnny grabbed Mark's hips, slowly pulling out before pressing out. He slowly worked up a comfortable pace, angling his hips up. A moan ripped from Mark's throat, head going back. Mark grabbed Johnny's shoulders, dragging his fingers down his back. Johnny groaned, squeezing Mark's hips.
"Johnny, baby, fuck- so good, so full-" Mark's breath stuttered, eyes fluttering shut. The drag of Johnny's cock in him made Mark feel like he was floating.
Johnny reached between them, wrapping a hand around Mark's cock. Mark's back lifted from the bed, jaw falling open. Johnny leaned down, attaching his lips to Mark's neck. Mark's hand found Johnny's hair, pulling on the dark strands. Johnny groaned into Mark's skin, sitting back up.
He pulled back out before snapping his hips back up into Mark's. He sped up, gripping Mark's waist. Mark mewled, head digging into the pillows.
Johnny's cock brushed over that sweet little spot inside of Mark every single time he fucked back into him. Mark sobbed out a moan, tears pooling at the corners of his eyes. Mark grabbed at Johnny, nails digging into his abs.
"Close- so close- please," Mark sobbed, dragging his hands down Johnny's skin.
Johnny grabbed Mark's legs hard enough to bruise. Mark hoped it would. Johnny held Mark nice and tight, pounding into him. Mark cried out, gripping the sheets.
"Please, please, oh god-"
"I got you baby." Johnny wrapped his hand around Mark, stroking him in time with his thrusts. Mark moaned, hand finding Johnny's hair. Johnny groaned, slamming his hips back up into Mark.
"I'm gonna- fuck baby- I'm coming-" Mark's back lifted off the bed, chest pressing into Johnny's. His knees tightened around Johnny's hips, hands tugging on Johnny's hair. His body tense before letting go. His body shook with his orgasm, spilling over Johnny's hand. "Johnny!"
Johnny's hips stuttered, hand working Mark through it. Johnny let out a low curse as Mark clenched around him. Johnny's jaw tightened, hair falling in his eyes. "Fuck- Mark."
"Inside. Johnny please, need it." Mark sobbed, hand wrapping around Johnny's wrist.
Johnny moaned, burying his face in Mark's neck. Mark's hike fluttered around him and his hand gently tugging on his hair, ripped Johnny over the edge. Johnny buried himself deep in the boy, hips stuttering as he came. "Mark."
Mark gasped, head going back. "Fuck- thank you."
Johnny draped himself over Mark, catching his breath. Mark cupped Johnny's cheeks, turning his face so their lips met. Johnny rested a hand on Mark's neck, slowly moving his lips in time with Mark. Mark pulled back, resting his head on Johnny's cheek. "I love you."
"I love you."
Mark smiled, pulling Johnny on top of him. Johnny held himself ever so slightly, kissing Mark's shoulder. Johnny pushed himself up. "Pulling out."
Mark dropped his arms, closing his eyes.
Johnny grabbed Mark's hips, gently pulling out. Johnny climbed off the bed, walking to the bathroom. He started the shower, setting everything they needed on the counter. He went back to the room, pulling Mark into his arms. Mark held on, letting Johnny care for him.
Johnny set Mark in the shower, climbing in behind him. Johnny's washed them both up, making sure Mark was squeaky clean.
Johnny dried them off, helping Mark into a pair of shorts and a hoodie that most certainly was Johnny's. Johnny sat Mark on the closed toilet seat, pulling a pair of sweatpants on.
"Johnny?"
Johnny turned to Mark, smiling at him. "Yeah?"
"You had absolutely nothing to be nervous about."
Johnny laughed, head going back, eyes whiskering. "Thanks baby."
"Anytime."
Johnny grabbed Mark's hand, leading him back to the bathroom. He made sure the bed was clean before pulling the blankets back. Mark climbed in, pulling Johnny on top of him.
"Mark."
"Shut up and let me cuddle you."
"Fine."
It was quiet for a few moments before Mark let out a sigh.
"You okay?" Johnny lifted his head, eyebrows ever so slightly furrowed.
"You know what would slap so hard right now?"
"What?"
"Ice cream."
"You're literally lactose intolerant." Johnny let out a little laugh.
"You like to have your hair pulled."
"There is zero correlation." Johnny dropped his head back to Mark's neck.
"Can we order ice cream."
"You'd literally shit your pants," Johnny mumbled, wrapping his arms around Mark.
"You're so lame. My boyfriend is so lame."
💫
"When I said to go crazy, I didn't actually mean be absolutely fucking insane." Johnny looked in the mirror next to the front door. He turned to Mark who was leaning on the wall next to him with a grin on his face.
"Fair is fair my love." Mark grinned, grabbing Johnny's arm.
"Our stylist is gonna kill me." Johnny pulled the collar of his hoodie up, pulling the hood up. "You never get to be on top again."
"That's so not fair." Mark pouted, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Then behave." Johnny grabbed their bags, giving Mark a look.
"Fine."
Johnny brought their stuff out to the car while Mark made sure they weren't leaving anything behind. Mark put the keys back before walking over to Johnny.
"How're you feeling?" Johnny grabbed Mark's wrist.
"Good. My legs are still a little shaky from this morning but, not like hurting or anything." Mark grinned under his mask.
Johnny rolled his eyes, gently pushing Mark away tom him. Mark could tell he was smiling though. Johnny opened the car door for Mark, standing to the side. "You're insufferable."
"You love me." Mark smiled up at Johnny.
"That is not the point right now."
💫
"I can carry my own shit." Mark trailed behind Johnny.
"I do not care." Johnny unlocked the door to his dorm, letting Mark in first. He left Mark's stuff by the door as he carried his own to his room. He gave a soft knock before pushing the door open.
Johnny set his suitcase at the end of his bed, turning back to Mark. Mark leaned on the door frame, eyes glued to Johnny's neck. Johnny slapped a hand over his neck. Mark pouted, walking over to Johnny. "It's not even that bad. It'll fade really fast."
"And what about the one on my chest. Or the gazillion on my stomach?" Johnny raised his eyebrows, pulling Mark into a hug.
"Couldn't help myself."
"Clearly." Johnny pressed a kiss to the top of Mark's head. "I love you."
"I love you more." Mark looked up at Johnny, cheeks flushing. "Do not look at me like that."
"Like what?"
"That."
Mark looked away from Johnny, the olders eyes full of nothing but fondness.
"Let's go to yours." Johnny pulled away from Mark, grabbing his hand. "Wanna cuddle and I fear Haechan."
"You adore him."
"I can do both." Johnny pulled Mark out of the apartment, grabbing his stuff on the way.
They went up to the tenth floor, Mark unlocking the door. Mark pulled Johnny inside. "Pause."
"What?" Johnny stopped behind Mark, grabbing his waist.
"They're here. All of them," Mark whispered, setting his hand over Johnny's.
Johnny sighed, leaning down to rest his head on Mark's. "I just want to take a nap."
"We still can." Mark turned in Johnny's arms, cupping his neck.
Johnny smiled, leaning down to press a quick kiss to Mark's lips. "Let's go then."
Mark grabbed Johnny's arm, pulling him down the hallway.
"They're back!"
"Yuta, dude, I swear to god." Johnny grumbled, walking towards Mark's room.
"You're so boring. I want details." Yuta pouted.
"I promise you, you do not." Johnny raised his eyebrows, hand sliding down Mark's back and to his ass.
"Ew."
Mark jumped when Johnny grabbed a handful of ass, grabbing his wrist. "You're the worst. Like you suck so bad."
Johnny grinned, pulling Mark to his room.
"Did you use protection?"
"No!"
"Johnny!"
Johnny shut the door behind them, locking it. He turned to Mark who was glaring at him. Johnny walked over to Mark, cupping his cheeks. "What?"
"You're not being very nice." Mark grabbed Johnny's wrists, pulling his hands off his face. Mark grabbed his stuff, putting some of it away. Johnny leaned on the door, arms crossed over his chest. Mark glanced back at him, nearly crumbling. "Don't look at me like that."
"Markie, baby, come on."
"No. I'm mad at you."
"If I blow you, would you forgive me?"
"Johnny- you've never-"
"Everyone has to start somewhere."
Johnny jumped at the frantic knocking on the door.
"You absolutely will not be doing that!" Taeyong's voice was muffled but the panic was evident.
Mark rolled his eyes. "Lame."
💫