Chapter Text
It was unexpected, of course, but mostly it was confusing.
Nothing particularly unusual had happened that day to hint at it. It had been a long and grueling match at Hydro and by the end of it, everyone had been exhausted but jubilant. They'd eked out a painful and well-deserved victory over BLU, but it was really more that the match was over than anything else.
All of them were high on the adrenaline and relief of their victory, even if physically they were drained. They congratulated and clapped each other on the back, laughing and joking and wordlessly grateful that they'd had their teammates by their side.
Maybe that was it. He and Medic worked together most of the time. Maybe Medic felt the victory was tied more closely to Heavy than the others. He really wasn't sure.
Either way, when they were heading into the base on their way to the rec room to celebrate, Medic had rested a hand on his shoulder. Heavy made a questioning sound, and Medic had just gestured to follow him with an excited smile.
The sweet taste of victory and the heady rush of killing and death was still fresh in their veins, so maybe that was it. He still wasn't sure.
Heavy didn't know what to expect when Medic had brought him to his room. Maybe the doctor wanted to show him something, or tell him something a bit more private, or any number of things. He wasn't really expecting him to shove him back against the door the second it was closed and kiss him.
It wasn't even really that he was stunned by it. He and the doctor had been coworkers, compatriots, companions in murder and a great killing team, but aside from that, there hadn't been a hint of anything else. This came out of nowhere, but he found himself processing it surprisingly calmly.
Sometimes after battle, men liked to have sex. This wasn't unheard of. It was like a bonus for victory, like having a cigarette after a long day. A nice way to celebrate and burn off tension. Just something that happened sometimes, and it seemed to be happening now.
Was it really a problem? It was just sex. If Medic wanted to cap the night off with a private celebration, then why not? It was incredibly easy for an adrenaline high to feed into sexual desire. Why not? No harm to it, even if he hadn't expected it.
Medic moved quickly while Heavy processed what was happening, which didn't surprise him. He was always fast in what he did - he had to be in his field of work. Medic kissed him, fiercely but only for a few seconds, and then his hands were already working down Heavy's zipper.
Really, Heavy barely had to do anything. Feeling slow and still off-balance, he wondered only briefly at how Medic's gloved hands were already slippery before he'd gotten their cocks out and pressed together. Medic let out a breathy moan as he leaned his head against his shoulder, and without thinking about it, Heavy took hold of his sides in case Medic fell over. He could feel his legs already trembling.
Really, it only took about a minute. Heavy still felt like he was trying to register what was happening when Medic tensed in his grip. Medic tended to be a loud person - at times, Heavy had overheard Engineer teasing him about lacking any kind of "indoor voice". Now, Medic was struggling with all his might to be a little quieter. He managed a strained, stuttering sound against Heavy's neck, a high-pitched "ahh" that made his heart jump a little. It sounded similar to when he'd gotten hurt in battle, and whenever Heavy heard that, he knew he had to make sure he was alright.
That little jump was enough to push him over himself, and Heavy shut his eyes and gritted his teeth as it tightened through him in a warm shiver. He heard Medic make a little pained sound, and when he opened his eyes, he realized that he'd clamped his grip down on him hard when he came. He loosened it immediately once he realized, although he kept his hands there just in case Medic seemed unsteady on his feet again.
They breathed heavily in the post-orgasm heat for a few seconds while Heavy tried to gather his scattered thoughts. He should have been feeling something about this or having some kind of questions about it, and his mind was just blank. This is normal, some strangely nonchalant part of him kept saying. Sometimes sex is nice after battle. It happens.
Eventually, Medic pushed himself back to lean away from him, looking up at him with his face flushed. Then he got an apologetic look as he brought his hands up from between them in an inappropriately casual shrug.
"Ah, well..." He was laughing very awkwardly and nervously. "I just thought it'd be fun, aheh..." He looked off to one side, still smiling and gesturing like he'd borrowed something of Heavy's without asking instead of jerked them both off seconds ago. "You know how it is..."
Heavy wasn't really sure what to say, so he just nodded. This kind of thing happened. It wasn't that unusual.
"Oh!" Medic brightened and turned away from him without warning, going to his desk. He handed him a box of tissues like he just had a cold. "You know, before we go back out there." He was still laughing, almost giggling, with nerves like he couldn't stop.
Heavy took the tissues to clean himself up, barely noticing Medic doing the same as he was still stuck in unclear, muddy thoughts. He kept returning to the fact that this wasn't unusual, this kind of thing happened, but still it didn't help clarify the strange blankness where an emotional reaction should be.
Should there be an emotional reaction? There shouldn't be... it was just celebratory sex, as men had done throughout history. It wasn't complicated. He wasn't sure why it felt confusing. Was it that it was with Medic? That Medic wanted to do this with him? That Medic had just sprung this on him without warning?
He didn't know, and he didn't like that. Simple things should stay simple. There wasn't any reason for anything else to be at work here. There wasn't any reason to be this confused, or to not even be sure what it was he was confused about.
"Oh, we should catch up with the others!" Medic said, cheery as ever, and he opened the door and left the room as if nothing had happened. Which was how Heavy should have been reacting. He made a conscious effort to act normal as they joined the others, who met their arrival with a cheer.
"Sorry, Heavy just had a cut on his arm, I took care of it for him," Medic chirped, mostly unnecessarily since no one was really listening, and he settled in with a beer to join the others with ease.
Well, Heavy did like seeing him happy, and his teammates' enthusiasm was infectious. He joined in with a beer of his own, even though he thought American beer was tasteless and weak, and tried to forget the entire matter.
Sex was just sex. Why not cap off a victory with sex? It really made perfect sense. That wasn't confusing. What was it he was confused about? This was really irritating.
For a while though at least he could forget about it. Everyone was drunk and happy to be done with the day, and everyone was talking and telling stories or getting into playful scraps with each other, and with eight different people vying for his attention, it was easy to forget what had happened with just one of them. Scout of course was constantly talking, Soldier and Demoman kept telling outrageous stories, and Pyro insisted that Engineer play them something on his guitar. Even Spy and Sniper were in high spirits, with Sniper telling strange jokes using words Heavy didn't know and Spy doing one of his crab impressions, which sent everyone into hysterics.
One by one, each of them reached their limit and went to go to sleep. Heavy and Medic were the last, both of them having a remarkable alcohol tolerance compared to the others (Demoman, of course, did not count since he had started drinking much earlier). Even Spy eventually had to admit defeat, for all that he enjoyed his wine. He bid them goodnight and stumbled off into the hallways, cloaking midway through in a way that Heavy wasn't sure was entirely intentional.
"Is time for bed, Doctor." Heavy stood and stretched with a grunt. Medic stood up with him and yawned behind one ungloved hand - at some point in the night he'd shed his coat and one of his gloves, although he'd left the other one on. Heavy wasn't entirely sure he knew that he'd done that.
"Yes, it's late. Hoo! What a party!"
They headed for their rooms, and Heavy noticed that Medic didn't stop at his own. He kept following Heavy to his, and Heavy didn't say anything.
He followed Heavy into his room, and he still didn't say anything. Was there really that much to be said? Medic was on him again in an instant.
Sure, this wasn't after a battle, but sex after a party, that also made sense. What could be a better way to end a party? That added up, and as drunk as he was, at least his thoughts weren't as caught up in how he was feeling about this.
With more time now, and with both of them clumsy and tired, it was a less coordinated affair. It reminded him a little of two virgins trying to figure out how sex worked; they pulled awkwardly at each other's clothes, tried a few different positions before one of them would shake their head and want to try another. They kissed and touched without focus, following sensation blindly without thinking clearly enough to keep it going. They explored the other like they were some kind of strange toy they didn't know how to work.
Medic did talk while it was going on, but it was primarily unfocused rambling about anything but what they were doing. When he did talk about sex, it was like it was something he was observing instead of something he was doing. He laughed giddily about it most of the time, like the entire thing was hilariously silly. In a way, Heavy guessed that it was. This wasn't exactly the most graceful or even successful sex he'd ever had.
Eventually, after they'd returned to the mutual jerking-off that had started this (the only act they managed to figure out), they both came and that was the really the limit of their endurance. Medic sat in his lap, breathing hard against his shoulder, and Heavy rested his head on Medic's shoulder in return, his eyes closed.
Things got a bit swimmy and vague for a few seconds, then Heavy snorted when he realized he'd drifted off with a start. Blinking back to awareness, he realized Medic had fallen asleep on his shoulder, snoring quietly.
Heavy was so tired, he could barely think. He pulled Medic off of him and laid him down properly on the bed, then settled down next to him. All he wanted was to fall asleep again, which he did almost instantly.
---
The next morning, Heavy woke up sore more than anything. His hangover was minor - he'd drunk more than this before, and his constitution really was unmatched in this department. He was, after all, a giant man.
Running around all day the day before, that took more of a toll on him. It wasn't something some moving and stretching wouldn't soothe though. The match today would hopefully be shorter.
He hadn't opened his eyes yet, but with a silent snap, he became aware there was someone beside him. Instantly he thought through several ways to kill whoever it was without changing his expression. They probably still thought he was asleep. Fool. He would crush them for thinking they could sneak up on him.
Tensing, he then took a few seconds to think it through. Who would be there? Memories of the previous night filtered back to him.
Right. Medic. He and Medic had had sex after the party. Tension left him in a soothing wave. In its place came a dispassionate curiousity. He turned his head, slowly, and opened his eyes to look.
Medic was still asleep, his eyes closed and his hair mussed, breathing evenly. He wasn't sure he'd ever seen the doctor this relaxed before. He was always filled with intense, sometimes frightening energy. Now he was quiet and, in a way, looked very slow. Heavy felt an odd kinship with him in that.
Having sex with someone, alright. That was simple. You come and you are done. Waking up next to someone after you had sex, that was more complicated. Waking up next to your closest teammate after having sex with them, that was probably the most complicated.
This wasn't something he had a lot of experience with. What exactly was he meant to do here? He still didn't really know why Medic wanted to do this except that it felt good and he was horny. Who could blame him, really? The battle yesterday had been extremely satisfying. If they'd done it and then went to their private rooms, this wouldn't be an issue.
What was the protocol for this aftermath? Medic wasn't a lover, he was just a man he'd had sex with for fun. Well, presumably for fun. He wasn't sure why else Medic would have wanted to do it. He couldn't think of any other reason why he himself had done it.
What a strange man, Heavy thought as he stared at him. He spent an enormous amount of time with Medic and still felt like he'd never understand him. He never really knew what went through his head. Medic being incredibly impulsive and very bad at thinking about the consequences of his actions had a large part in that. Medic just did things, and everyone else had to deal with it.
So, Medic did him, and now he had to deal with it.
What was he supposed to do here? Heavy kept staring at him while he was quiet and calm, trying to memorize the sight. It was strange to see him so peaceful, almost like he was another person entirely. Where were his glasses? Heavy couldn't really remember. Presumably they'd put them somewhere safe the previous night, but he couldn't be sure. Maybe he should find them for him.
And then what? Wake him up? Should he wait? Maybe he should get him breakfast? Make some coffee? Get some cigarettes? Spy would probably let him borrow some.
He shouldn't be thinking this hard about how to handle this. This should be simple, he should just know. Again there was that disconcerted, confused feeling. Something about this wasn't adding up right, and the most frustrating part was that he didn't know what it was or why.
Why didn't he know what to do here?
Maybe he should wake him up? He could touch his face, that would probably wake him up... although maybe Medic needed his sleep. And would that be too... tender? This had just been sex, as far as he knew. Medic hadn't really acted like it was anything more than that, and it probably wasn't a good idea to assume.
Did he want to touch his face because he wanted to, or because he thought that was what he should do? Ugh. This kind of emotional dithering wasn't like him. This was simple. He just wasn't thinking clearly because he was tired and still shaking off the previous night.
How long had he been staring at him? Maybe enough for the weight of his gaze to wake him on its own. Medic took in a long breath, his chest rising under the sheets, and as he let it out he opened his eyes just a crack.
Heavy stared, his mind suddenly blank. Medic stared back at him, his eyes half-open, blinking slowly. It felt like the silence lasted for an eternity.
"Oh," Medic said, quietly, and he gave him a lazy smile. "Hello."
"Hello," Heavy said, trying to match his tone. Medic closed his eyes again, and Heavy wondered if he was just going to go back to sleep. Would that be for the better? Maybe if he did, Heavy would have more time to think about what to do.
Then again, maybe he'd just be stuck thinking in the same loops. Maybe it'd be better if Medic woke up and they could just get this over with.
Heavy shifted, slowly, as his muscles complained at the effort, and he pushed himself up to sit up against the headboard. Medic, at the movement, made a long quiet "nnh" sound under his breath as he stretched under the covers. He trembled at the apex of it, his long legs nearly reaching the end of the bed, before he let it go with a sigh.
With another sigh, he shifted himself up onto his elbows, blinking blearily into the room. Heavy wondered if he realized where he was, then reminded himself that without his glasses, he probably couldn't tell anyway.
With a loud yawn, Medic pushed himself up to sitting as well, although Heavy almost reached out at points to help him without thinking about it.
They sat together, leaning against the headboard, as Heavy stared awkwardly at the wall in front of him and Medic rubbed at his eyes. He ran a hand over his face with a faint "mmph" and then ran it through his hair with another yawn. It seemed like his doctor didn't wake up quickly. Then again, maybe this wasn't the usual situation.
Medic leaned his head back against the wall, and his eyes drifted closed again. Was he going to fall back asleep? Why didn't he say something? This would be much easier if he was the one who started the conversation, then Heavy could just follow his lead. What was he supposed to say? Talking about last night felt extremely awkward. It had been kind of a mess.
He didn't have cigarettes from Spy to offer. Did Medic even smoke? Probably not. Breakfast? Maybe breakfast?
"Does Doctor want coffee?" Heavy said, his voice rougher than usual. Maybe coffee would wake Medic up more so he could start rambling and filling the air again and make everything more normal.
Medic paused, his eyes still closed, like he hadn't heard him, then leaned his head back forward to rub at his eyes again with a yawn.
"Ja, danke, Heavy," he said, still sounding sleepy. Well, that was an easy thing to do and an easy directive to follow, so Heavy got up and got dressed to do so. He noted, with some annoyance, that he was probably going to have to do laundry. They'd made a mess of their clothes. This is what happens when you're drunk.
The others were either still asleep or might as well have been. Demoman was sleeping on the communal couch, and Heavy could see some plates in the kitchen sink. He'd probably made himself something to eat and then passed right out again. He had a blanket half-thrown over his legs; Heavy took a moment to straighten it back out over him. Demoman mumbled something and turned over, resuming his snoring.
Heavy went to the coffeemaker and started it going, again finding his thoughts curiously blank. It was as if he was making coffee any other day. The others would probably want it as they woke up, he thought. He wondered which one of them would wake up first. Usually Scout was the first awake, unable to stay still for long, but he would probably still be knocked out from the party. He thought of Engineer, but he might have started working when he went back to his room, and then he would have worked all night and definitely wouldn't wake up until he had to.
Soldier? If he was awake, he was probably outside running laps, doing push-ups, or talking to his heads. He didn't like staying inside too much. He'd tried for a while to get the rest of them to do his drills, but eventually after several fistfights he had figured out that they were not as into waking up at the crack of dawn as he was. He could sometimes persuade Demoman to join him, but he'd just sit there and watch while Soldier did his thing instead of participating. If Soldier was awake, Heavy probably wasn't going to see him until later.
Spy and Sniper weren't early risers, and Pyro was always a bit of a mystery. If Heavy didn't see them now, then they were probably asleep or doing... something. That just left him, Demoman, and Medic, and he knew where Medic was.
He realized he'd been staring into the distance as he did his mental inventory. When he returned to earth, the coffee pot was nearly full, and he poured a mug for himself and a smaller one for Medic. His mugs were too large for the others to drink from comfortably.
Before he left, he looked over at Demoman again. He was still fast asleep underneath the blanket. He was at least wearing his pajamas and not his normal battle attire, so he'd had enough sense of mind to change.
Heavy walked over to the couch, setting one mug down, and shook Demoman's shoulder. He made an annoyed, incoherent sound in response.
"Demoman should go to normal bed. Couch is not comfortable," Heavy said, without raising his voice. Just as he thought, Demoman vaguely waved a hand at him with another mumbled sound and resumed snoring. He wasn't going to move, but at least Heavy gave it a try.
He adjusted the blanket around him again and headed back to his room with the two mugs. Still, his mind was strangely blank about what had happened the previous night. It didn't seem to be processing for whatever strange reason.
Sex after battle, normal. Sex after party, normal, he thought as he shouldered the door open. It's normal.
Medic had located his glasses in the meantime, although he still looked half-asleep. He jerked his head when Heavy came in - he might have been dozing against the headboard again. He never realized how sleepy the doctor could be. Then again, it wasn't like he'd ever seen him in a situation like this before.
He handed the cup over to him, which Medic took with another tired smile. He held it delicately between his broad hands. "Thank you, Heavy."
He said it with a nice warmth, like he was genuinely very grateful. In this state, he probably was. The coffee would wake him up more thoroughly.
Heavy just nodded, not entirely sure what to do again. Sit on the bed? Lay back down? He was fairly awake now. Maybe he should just sit on the chair nearby. He sat down and took a few sips, and they sat in silence for a while, only broken by the sound of one of them drinking.
Eventually, Medic leaned his head back against the wall with a long sigh, his eyes closed. Heavy had nearly finished his own cup.
"What time is it?" Medic said.
Heavy glanced over at his alarm clock. "Is 10:14."
"Oh, it's a bit late, isn't it." Medic looked back down, and he was laughing in that high, silly way he often did when caught doing some kind of crime against human nature. It was just the way he laughed, really. Oops, I didn't realize that leftover steak was yours! peppered with the same light, awkward laughter as Oops, I cut out your liver instead of your kidney!
Such a strange man. Fascinating, but so strange.
"Do you know if we have a battle today?"
Heavy closed his eyes for a moment in thought. "Yes. 11:20."
"Oh, well, that's still some time then." Medic leaned over to set the mug on the bedside table, and for a moment Heavy tensed, wondering exactly what he meant. Did he want to go again?
Sex in the morning... that was also normal? For a one-night stand, was that normal? He assumed this was a one-night stand. He had no idea what else it could be.
Sex was sex. He was overthinking this. He should be glad to be getting sex at all, frankly. What kind of man wouldn't be? This was looking a gift horse in the mouth. At least, he was relatively sure that was the phrase.
And it wasn't like sex with Medic was a bad thing. It had certainly been awkward the previous night, but it had still ended up well enough. What was the problem? Sex was sex, that was all.
Medic shifted on the bed to swing his legs out from under the sheets, and Heavy let out a disappointed breath. Sex was sex, but it didn't look like it was on the table this morning.
That was fine, he'd already gotten more than he'd anticipated.
Medic reached down and picked up his clothes from the floor like this was completely normal. He got dressed with a rough casualness like Heavy wasn't even there.
"I need to check on my birds," Medic said to himself as he pulled on his boots, then his tone shifted to light and cheery. "Oh, did I tell you about the funny thing Archimedes did yesterday? I left an ear out on a table, I just forgot about it, and then I heard him cooing..."
Heavy listened quietly, frustrated that his brain just refused to think of anything to say or feel about this. He should be doing or saying something about this but nothing was coming.
Medic finished dressing, looked at himself in the mirror to adjust his hair back in place, and then he gave Heavy a bright smile. "Thank you for the coffee, Heavy."
Then he just turned and left, whistling to himself. Heavy was left sitting there, still puzzled and frustrated. Medic was handling this so much more easily than him, what was he missing?
Maybe he should follow his lead...? His morning ritual usually involved cleaning Sasha, and that would certainly clear his head. Sasha, he understood completely.
---
Heavy didn't have to think about it for a while. The next few days didn't go well. Sometimes they were completely routed, sometimes it was just by the tiniest fraction, but every time, they lost. Everyone was frustrated, with a few of them snapping at each other about it (Sniper and Spy, in particular, were getting into scuffles). With how hard he was focused on winning, Heavy didn't spend a lot of time thinking about the whole casual sex thing.
Medic didn't bring it up, which also helped. He acted like everything was normal, although he was just as frustrated with their repeated failures as the others.
Then, finally, they managed to pull off a last-minute victory, and it was like a storm broke. Everyone was cheering, hearts were soaring, all of it had all been worth it. Heavy grabbed his teammates into big bear hugs while they whooped and laughed with joy. Finally, finally!
While they were heading to the rec room for another raucous celebration, Medic put his hand on his shoulder again.
It was just as quick as before; pressed up against the door of Medic's room while he wrapped his slick hand around them both, gasping against his shoulder while Heavy held him upright. He wasn't sure if it was the rush from battle or from sneaking off like this that made it go so quickly, but it felt like no time at all had passed from coming in here to coming in general.
Again Medic made that sound against his shoulder, trying to be quiet, and again he felt that little skip of his heart to it, instinctually thinking where are you, are you hurt, do you need help for those few brief seconds. Again he found himself gripping Medic so tightly that he made that quiet pained grunt.
Again Medic leaned away from him with that flushed, satisfied look on his face, his glasses slightly askew. He was smiling at him, a little like his tired smile from that one morning.
"Hoo!" He lifted his clean hand to pat himself on the cheek. "That one was good, haha." He kept laughing, breathlessly pleased with himself. He was, after all, riding the same high as Heavy was. "Oh, here, before we meet the others..."
Just the same, they cleaned up, just the same, they came to meet the others just a little late as before, and just the same, they didn't suspect a thing. After all, they were only separated from them for a minute or two.
He thought the second time might alleviate some of his confusion, and to an extent, it did. He was more prepared for it, and the pattern of it seemed clear now. When they won, Medic wanted to celebrate in more than one way. That made sense. Why not sweeten their victory? Why not?
Sex was sex, why not? People did this. It made sense.
Again, they were the last to go to sleep after the party lasted into the night. Again, Medic followed him to his room, and again, they stumbled into each other's arms. More familiar with each other this time, it was easier for them to find the other's pleasure points, find the right way to press or rub or touch, and it took less time for them to shudder in each other's arms in climax. It ended much the same way as it had the first night, with Medic in his lap, his head against his shoulder.
He did fit well there. He could get used to this.
They dozed off beside each other rather than on each other this time, although they still didn't say much. Heavy resolved to think only of the physical sensations of it all, the nice warmth and pleasure still lingering through him, instead of why he couldn't figure out how to really feel about all of this.
It was normal and made sense, why was it confusing?
The next morning, he woke to find Medic staring at him instead. His doctor was lying on his stomach, his chin resting on his hands, just staring at him. It was a little disconcerting. Was this how Medic had felt when he'd done the same?
Medic smiled at him in that same tired, warm way. "Hello."
"Hello," Heavy said, and he found he matched that smile without thinking about it.
"I suppose it's my turn, isn't it?" Medic said, still smiling. Heavy blinked at him, still shaking off sleep. "I'll be right back."
He got up and left, and Heavy finally remembered that he was probably going to get coffee, as before.
He waited, quietly thinking, until Medic returned, and he took the mug from him with a nod. It was one of the smaller ones, but he didn't mind. Medic sat on the chair just as Heavy had the other day, his legs crossed and his back straight, as he drank.
There was silence again, and it felt wrong. Something had to be said. Heavy had to say something, this was driving him crazy.
"So..."
Medic raised an eyebrow at him. "Hm?"
Heavy gestured vaguely at the bed. "Why we do this?"
Medic tilted his head like a curious dog. "This?"
"Making sex. Why we do this?"
Medic kept his head cocked at that confused angle. "What, do you not like it?"
Heavy looked down at his coffee cup, frowning without thinking. "No, is good. Just want to know why."
Medic stared at him for a few seconds, still looking puzzled. He held the mug between the fingertips of both hands, his wrists bent in an elegant curve. Heavy rarely saw his hands outside of his gloves, or outside of someone's torso.
"Why not?" Medic said, like it was obvious.
Heavy had asked himself the same thing. Why not? It was normal. It was simple. People did this all the time because it was fun and felt good. Why not?
"Why, do you want to stop?" Medic asked, and he could hear a tinge of fear in his voice.
Heavy found the answer coming to him refreshingly clear and quick. "No, is good." And he saw Medic let out a shaky sigh. "Sex with Doctor is good."
At that Medic waved his hand, looking very pleased. "Oh, you flatter me!" He was giggling again with that same fluttering edge to it - he was more relieved than he wanted to let on. At the sex continuing or just hearing he was good at it, Heavy wasn't sure. As if remembering, Medic held his mug out to him. "And you are quite good at it too, Großer!"
Heavy had heard him use the name a few times before, and he'd always been curious. "What does that word mean? Groh-sa?"
"Oh, aha!" Medic laughed a little awkwardly, looking away with a muffled cough. "It's, ah... it means, well..." He tilted his head back and forth a few times in thought. "Something like, big one? Because you're so big, of course. It's a good thing!" He held up his hand. "You are a very big man, yes?"
Heavy was big, and he was proud of it. After a few seconds, he nodded. "Yes, is good. I like this."
"Oh, good!" Medic laughed again, a little high and shaky. "It just came to me one day, and, you know... I couldn't get it out of my head! You know how it is!"
Heavy nodded again. He was getting increasingly familiar with things he couldn't get out of his head.
Medic glanced at the clock and set the mug down with a clack. "Oh! It's getting late! My birds!" He set about picking his clothes up off the floor with the same nonchalance as the last time. Just as quickly he was dressed and heading out the door.
"Thank you, Heavy," he said in a sing-song tone of voice as he left, and he heard him whistling down the corridor again.
Heavy wished he could get over how simple this was already.
---
It kept happening afterwards, of course. It quickly became rather routine. After each victory, they'd slip away for a few minutes, and then at night after the inevitable celebration, they'd spend it together and head off to their own activities in the morning.
Really, it was very simple.
It might have been the fifth time Medic pressed him against the door when Heavy decided he should do something. Normally Medic moved so quickly that he didn't have time to react, and before he'd been too startled or confused to move, but now he was getting more used to it.
He reached down between them to rest his hand over Medic's and joined him in the few jerks it usually took for them to finish. The noise Medic made when he realized what was happening was different and very nice. He buried his face in Heavy's neck when he realized how loud he was being, which made Heavy feel even more satisfied. He was getting increasingly good at figuring out ways to make his doctor come undone, each one a little private victory.
Heavy didn't drink quite as much later that night, and Medic didn't either, possibly noticing and following his lead. It left them a little more clear-headed when they went to Heavy's room. They stripped and fumbled and touched, and this time it ended slightly differently, with the two of them grinding their bodies against each other until it became too much. More entangled than usual, they lay on their sides during the come-down, just breathing.
In the dark and the faint moonlight coming through the window, Heavy could see that familiar exhaustion on Medic's face, the onset of that peace he only knew when he was asleep. He liked it; it felt like a private thing just between the two of them. He was sure no one else had seen the doctor even close to being asleep. Not like this.
Medic had his eyes closed, and his hair was mussed over his forehead. Heavy reached out and brushed it away, even though it wasn't close to covering his eyes.
"Hmm," Medic sighed, still with his eyes closed. He mumbled, "Thank you."
"Is no problem," Heavy mumbled back. He left his hand there on Medic's face for a second, running one thumb over his cheekbone. Medic sighed again in a way that reminded him a little of a sleeping cat.
It probably wasn't a minute later that Medic was snoring quietly again, and Heavy took his hand away. He kept looking as his blinks grew longer and longer, and he drifted off himself.
He woke up to someone touching his face in return. Again, there was a moment of fierce tension, preparation for killing, before he reminded himself who he was with. He opened his eyes to find Medic tracing the shape of his brow.
"Just thought I'd return the favor." Medic was resting his head on his other arm, staring at him with that growingly familiar lazy smile. "You don't have hair though, Großer."
"No," Heavy said, although it was unnecessary. Medic withdrew his hand so it could join the other beneath his chin. "I should think of name for you, too."
"Hm?" Medic blinked a few times, slowly. "Oh... you don't have to worry about that."
"If you give me name, then I should give you name, too."
"You already call me 'Doctor'." Medic closed his eyes, still smiling.
"That is just what you are," Heavy said. "Is not nickname."
Medic laughed a little under his breath, still looking very content. "It feels like it is, with you."
Heavy wasn't really sure what to say to that, and at the look on his face, Medic chuckled like at some private little secret.
They went about their business the next day as usual, and, as usual, didn't talk about their trysts at all. What was there to say? Sex was sex. That was all there was to it.
They had a spate of bad days after that, BLU getting victory after victory over them despite their best efforts. Trying so hard and getting nowhere was infuriating, and the atmosphere at the base was low and unpleasant.
After a particularly frustrating battle, Heavy was grumbling to himself as he headed back in when Medic touched his shoulder. He turned to look at him, confused and a bit incredulous, and Medic gave him a serious look in response. It was one that didn't broker any argument and, although confused and a little annoyed, Heavy followed him anyway.
When they were in his room, Medic didn't push him with the same fierce heat as he usually did. He pressed him against the door, but looked down instead of kissing him. He looked entirely too serious for something like this.
"Just thought it might make me feel better," he said, his voice low. Heavy considered it; what was the point of sex except to feel good? What could it hurt, really? What else was he even going to do tonight anyway? Sulk and lick his wounds after the day's battle? Anything sounded better than that.
Usually silent, Heavy reached up to take hold of Medic's upper arms. "Da."
He could tell by the slight twitch that that wasn't what Medic was expecting, but it didn't stop him. He kissed Heavy as he usually did, although without that same fire or passion. It was slow enough that he could process it happening, a kind of determination in it to focus only on this.
They hadn't spent too much time kissing before this, mostly too excited or too drunk to focus on much else beside more obvious pleasure. It wasn't exactly a joyous experience - the frustration of the day's loss wasn't that easily dispelled, but it was different. Heavy was able to focus a bit more on it, try a little harder at it, memorize a bit more of it. Medic rested his hand on his front instead of immediately going for his pants, which was different.
He was patient, which was different.
It took longer this time, both of them kissing to try and keep everything else out, their eyes closed. He could feel a slow build now instead of the rapid crest of a high, like their bodies were waking up to each other. There was almost a slowness to it that reminded Heavy of when they just woke up, that languid look on his doctor's face when he was looking at him with that sleepy smile, although he wasn't smiling now.
In the end, Heavy pushed a leg between Medic's, and it didn't take long for them to be grinding up against each other again as they had that one night. He could feel Medic's heart pounding against him, hear faint sounds on each breath as he pressed closer to him. He always liked the sounds he made, and these were new.
The orgasm wasn't like usual, not as explosive or powerful or even quite as pleasant, but it was still good. It lingered with a nice wave of tingles, and afterwards Medic rested his head on his shoulder with a long sigh. It was a satisfied, tired one, which he liked.
He held him up instinctually, even though Medic wasn't trembling as often as he usually did. Medic's breath tickled across his neck.
"Do you feel any better?" Medic mumbled, just loudly enough to be heard. Heavy let out a long breath himself.
"Yes," he said, quieter than usual. It wasn't immediately obvious, but the more he thought about it, it was true. He did feel a little better, although it wasn't in a way he could easily describe. "Is good."
"Hm." He could hear a smile in his voice.
"Does Doctor feel better?"
It took a moment, and then he lifted himself away from Heavy. He looked tired, although part of that was because of the battle today, he was sure. His glasses were askew in that same way they always were when he rested his head on his shoulder.
"Yes, I think so," Medic said, and then he tilted his head and smiled as though at some private joke. "Thank you, Heavy."
Heavy smiled in return without thinking. "Is no problem, Doctor."
"Come on, we should go." Medic pulled away from him, trailing his hands down his arms. Without the thrill of victory, there was something so tiring and quiet about all this. "Maybe there'll be something on TV."
There wasn't. Everything just made Heavy frustrated and annoyed, every thing that'd gone wrong that day playing out in his head as he stared at the screen without watching it. Eventually he had enough and left, and Medic followed behind him, unsurprisingly. He wasn't even sure he wanted to do anything that night, he felt so irritated, but he let Medic into his room anyway.
Once inside, Medic sighed in a long, weary way, and Heavy frowned. His thoughts moved outwards - he didn't like hearing his doctor unhappy.
"It's just so frustrating, Heavy," Medic said, his fists clenched. "If we'd had one more second of the ÜberCharge, then..."
"I know, I know." Heavy didn't like thinking about it either. They'd been so close. Seeing Medic upset here, where they'd only been drunk and happy with victory and lust, felt very wrong. This wasn't the time for this kind of thing.
He turned and took hold of Medic's hand, drawing him towards the bed. Medic gave him a tired stare.
"Might make you feel better," Heavy said, sitting and pulling Medic down onto his lap. Medic settled with another sigh, and then eventually reached up to take Heavy's face in his hands and kiss him.
It was a longer and slower process than usual. Fully awake, they could remember and focus on all of it. Hazier memories were clearer now - he could remember the spots on his doctor that he liked kissed, or bitten, or touched. He could remember how nice it felt when Medic ran his fingers along his back up his spine, how he breathed in his ear, how he moved and how he spoke. Previously Medic had rambled on excitedly about anything and everything that came to mind, but now, it was almost like he was narrating his own actions. He talked like he was just trying to keep his thoughts at bay, which he probably was, and while it was strange, Heavy still liked to hear his voice. It kept his thoughts quiet as well.
Heat between them built, something somewhat muted in the heavy atmosphere of the lost day. He didn't want to think about that helpless anger, he wanted to think about this, just about this and Medic in his arms. Just about finding every way he could to wring every noise he could out of him, draw him out to the brink and push him over. That battle, he knew he could win.
He was on his lap again, the two of them naked and pressed together, Heavy pressing kisses along his neck. Medic was breathing hard, tense and shivering from exertion - they'd been at this for some time. When Heavy reached between them to take them both in one huge hand, Medic pressed his forehead to his shoulder as he always did. He heard him bite back a cry, and felt him put a hand over his mouth.
"Be loud," Heavy mumbled to him, causing him to shudder. "Why not?"
Medic stifled back another cry as Heavy slid his hand over them both and down again, and then he laughed, feebly. "I'm... I'm too loud, Heavy." And there, there was that airy, silly laugh of his. "You know I am."
"Doctor is laughing." Heavy smiled, holding him closer with his other arm. "Was waiting for you to laugh. Always you are laughing when we do this."
That just spurred him on, and he rubbed his head against his shoulder. "Heavy." It was admonishing between the little puffs of breath. "You're ruining it."
"Nyet." He stroked them both again, causing Medic to arch against him with a gasp. "Making it better."
Medic shivered with another stroke, his hand back over his mouth and the other clutching at Heavy's side. His fingers dug deep into his flesh, tiny pricks of pain where his nails were digging in. Hearing Medic laugh again was like light had come back into the room, like this was a normal night instead of one of an agonizing failure. He thought of their previous victories, previous nights, holding Medic in his arms as he almost vibrated with manic excitement at what they were doing.
It didn't take long from that point on. The noises Medic made, even muffled as they were by his hand, were too perfect. Every one of them clear reassurance that even if he couldn't capture the point today, he could have sex with Medic properly, and it was going to make him feel better. It'd make both of them feel better.
Maybe it was that satisfaction that pushed him over first, but Medic followed soon after. They held onto each other tightly through the aftershocks, slowly calming until they were loose in each other's arms. He felt warm and surprisingly relaxed, almost at peace despite what had happened that day. It was an even better feeling than earlier, and he was sure it was because he'd made his doctor laugh. That was his real accomplishment today, if nothing else.
After they'd calmed down, he heard Medic let out a soft tired giggle. "Well, are you feeling better?"
Heavy laughed a little himself, he couldn't help it. It just seemed so silly all of a sudden. "Da. And you, Doctor?"
He laughed harder at that. "Maybe a little." And he leaned back away from him, brushing one hand under his eye with a warm smile in the dim light. "Thank you, Heavy."
Heavy returned the smile. "Is no problem, Doctor."
They settled down to sleep beside each other, as usual, and Heavy found himself thinking about Medic laughing. That moment when it seemed like the tension of it all had broken and things were normal again. He felt extremely proud of himself - HE was the one who'd managed to break Medic out of his bad mood! He was the one who'd brought light, however slight, back into this dark day!
After all, what was the point of sex if no one was having fun? Sex was sex, and it was supposed to be fun. He wasn't sure if how he felt about all this had gotten any simpler, but it felt like he knew what he was doing at least, and he knew what he liked. He liked hearing Medic laugh, he liked seeing him happy, he liked knowing he was enjoying himself and what Heavy was doing to him, he liked hearing him as pleasure swept over him in waves. He liked waking up beside him to his calm face. He liked all of that.
Was that enough? Wasn't that simple enough? Sex was sex. Wasn't this good? What more could he want? They had sex with each other and it was good, it was simple. It was easy to understand. This warmth he felt for him, it was because sex was good, and sex with him was good. Simple. Very simple.
What more could he want? He honestly couldn't think of anything. He looked at Medic's sleeping face in the darkness, and he couldn't think of anything else he wanted. He'd be happy doing this forever.
He couldn't figure out how he felt before, but now as he dozed off, he felt warm and pleased. Simple. Finally.