Chapter Text
Darkness. Emptiness. How much time has Joshua been surrounded with this darkness ? This is strangely... comforting. Nothing matters anymore. Is he dead ? Maybe he is. But there's still this smell, this heat. It's like something is preventing him from truly vanishing. Has he left his body ? There's no more pain, and he just can't forget it. The Night of Flames. Phoenix Gate. He has never wanted to be a Dominant; he has only ever wanted to be at Clive's side. He admires his brother more than anyone else, has even wanted to be him somehow. How could Joshua be chosen as Phoenix's Dominant, while Clive wad right there ? It's something he just could never understand.
He tried, though. Tried to be what the others wanted him to be. He wanted to see that pride in his mother's eyes. Anabella Rosfield. No matter how he was acting, it never seemed to be enough for her.
His father, Elwin Rosfield, on the other hand... He only ever offered Joshua kindness. All these new duties were hard on the poor boy, who was only 10 years old. But Elwin remained patient. He listened to the young prince's concerns and comforted him, always choosing the best possible words to make sure he never felt pressured.
Pressure. Joshua himself has always been very good at this. Anxiety. The fear of never be good enough, strong enough, brave enough. Clive is much more than he will ever be. And that night... it seems to come to him like flashblacks, echoes. Even through this dreamless sleep, it's never totally gone.
You have to keep father safe. I'm counting on you, Joshua. He hears his brother's words so clearly inside his mind, just like he's sitting next to him. Maybe he is... Joshua hopes he is.
But no... he couldn't protect his father. He couldn't keep him safe. It's the opposite. Elwin tried to protect him. His father's last thoughts were all on his son, and he was killed... it's like Joshua still has his father's blood running on his face, stucked to his little face... His hair were so wet, and not because of the water. And the smell... Maybe Joshua was young, but he knew only too well what had happened right in front of him. These soldiers didn't even pity children.
It's from this moment that everything gets confusing in his mind. He became the Phoenix. All he was seeing was fire, fire, fire. Like it was inside him and around him at once. His body was burning. Rosalith was burning. Maybe all of Rosaria was burning.
Maybe... Maybe he fought someone or something. Another Dominant of Fire. Is it even possible ? He was the only Dominant of Fire... was he ?
The pain he felt then... Joshua didn't even think it was possible. Maybe he truly died. Maybe that's why he's surrounded by this darkness. Maybe that's why he's feeling nothing. Almost nothing.
The flames seem to still be running through his veins. They matter just as much as his blood, like Joshua needs both of them to survive. It's not hurting him; it's keeping him alive. He's the Phoenix. Flames of Rebirth. This is who he is. He was always supposed to be this way.
He's not the one healing himself, tnough ? Who are these people ? Are they enemies ? Where is Clive ? Is he safe ? What happened after everything burned because of Joshua himself... because of Clive and him ?
"He's awakening!" exclaims a first voice.
When Joshua slowly opens his eyes, it's like the pain fully hits him back, which means he's truly alive. Some hooded people surround him, though. People he has never met once in his entire life. Why is he not with Clive, his father's men or even his mother herself ? He wishes he could close his eyes again. But on the other hand, he has so many questions...
"Who... Who are you ?", he asks. His voice is even softer than usual; it's obvious how he hasn't talked for days, maybe even weeks.
"My name is Cyril," explains one of them. "Your Grace, Joshua Rosfield. You are the Keeper of the Flame of the Phoenix, and we are the Undying. We will serve you and protect you with our entire beings, just like we did with your grandfather before you. We work in the shadow. This is why you never heard of us before."
Joshua blinks with curiosity. These people... serve him ? They are working for him ? He's not entirely sure of why. There's still so much he needs to learn...
"What... happened to everyone ? Where... is Clive ?"
A glimpse of sadness seems to quickly cross Cyril's features, but it doesn't last.
"You have been sleeping for months, Your Grace. Innocent lives were taken during the Night of Flames. I'm afraid we do not have much information about Lord Rosfield. But with us, you will..."
Maybe Cyril is still talking, but Joshua doesn't listen anymore. Tears are already running on his cheeks and if he could find the strength, he would be back on his feet and would run away from these people. They probably mean well, but Joshua just wants to know what happened to his brother. He needs to find Clive, and quickly.
"You need to know where Clive is or what happened to him. This is... this is my first order," he requests, doing his best to speak with a loud, clear voice, even if it's not entirely working.
"We will start our research, Your Grace. Your order is our command," Cyril assures, smiling briefly. "There is someone else you should meet."
He then designs someone who's been in the room from the beginning; Joshua just didn't pay much attention to her before that. This girl is older than him, but she's definitively not older than Clive. Is she his age ? Joshua hopes she's his age. Maybe it's stupid, but it would reassure him, to have someone who's Clive's age around him. if she's Jill's age, it would be great, too. Jill has always been like a sister to him, one of the best confident. Joshua also wonders where she is; he almost asks instead of focusing on this Undying girl. He decides to have them keep all of their attention on Clive, though.
"I am glad you are finally awake, Your Grace. You can call me Jote," she starts, introducing herself with a voice that doesn't entirely sound like a child or a teenager.
"Okay, Jote... Thank you."
No, that's not really what he wanted to say, but he's still so weak and confused. Is Jote even her real name ? Why has she spoken this way ? He wishes he could find the strength to at least politely tell her he's glad to meet her. Would it entirely be true, though ? He wants Clive at his side. The rest doesn't really matter. He still thinks the Phoenix messed up by choosing him as his Dominant. He's weak; he'll never be strong like Clive. The Undying can't serve someone like him. He will only be a burden. Joshua Rosfield has always been a burden to everyone.
Maybe this is why he should embrace his existence as the Phoenix instead.