Chapter Text
1997
Amid the somber atmosphere, the group walked through the forest, their emotions still raw from the loss of their cabin. The memory of the flames devouring the structure that had been their home filled them with a sense of emptiness and grief. Yet, even in the face of such devastation, Natalie's determination led them forward. Her thoughts drifted back to the conversation she had with Coach Ben. During that talk, he mentioned the hidden cave beneath a tree. That memory sparked her resolve to find a new place for them to shelter and regroup. She recalled seeing Javi near the very tree that supposedly concealed the cave. Javi's presence weighed heavily on her heart, a constant reminder of a past that could never be undone.
But Natalie had to push past her sadness and guilt. She recognized the urgency of their situation. Homeless and in need of shelter, they couldn't afford to hesitate. The decision to search for the hidden cave seemed almost impulsive, a way to cope with the shock of losing their cabin. She suspected that the immediate agreement of her friends was due to the overwhelming sense of loss they were all experiencing.
As they walked through the forest, Natalie led the way with determination. The group was quiet, each member was lost in their thoughts. The journey was made in silence, a reflection of the weight of their collective grief. While they had faced numerous challenges and tragedies in these woods before, the destruction of their cabin felt uniquely devastating. It wasn't just a loss of shelter; it was a loss of the small comforts and routines that had helped them maintain a semblance of normalcy.
Eventually, they reached the tree that Natalie remembered from her conversation with Coach Ben. She surveyed the area, searching for any signs that might lead them to the hidden cave. A mixture of surprise and relief washed over her as she discovered the entrance to the cave beneath the tree, and she couldn't help but feel a glimmer of hope. This discovery represented a new beginning, a chance to rebuild their lives in the face of adversity.
Inside the cave, the atmosphere was a mix of emotions. The small space seemed inadequate to compensate for the enormity of the tragedy they had experienced, but for them who had grown accustomed to surviving with very little, the cave provided a glimmer of happiness. It wasn't the cozy comfort of their now-destroyed cabin; instead, it was damp and somewhat eerie. However, Natalie found solace in the fact that she had managed to find this hidden spot for their new refuge.
Misty's compliment on Natalie's discovery brought a brief smile to the leader´s face, a small moment of validation amidst the chaos. Van, Lottie, Taissa, and the other girls also offered their gratitude and support, acknowledging the effort Natalie had put into leading them to this new shelter.
The absence of Coach Ben and Travis's quiet demeanor was noticeable. Natalie took the opportunity to share the information she had gathered along the way. She informed the group that she believed Javi might have taken shelter in this very cave during his disappearance. She also mentioned that Coach Ben was the one who had discovered the cave's existence. The weight of these revelations hung in the air, a reminder of the interconnectedness of their struggles and the mysteries that surrounded their experiences in the forest.
"I thought Coach Ben would be here," Shauna queried. It was the first time Natalie had heard her voice in hours.
"I thought so too," Natalie affirmed. In truth, she was apprehensive about encountering him. Although no one had explicitly mentioned it, many suspected him of setting the fire. She had considered that possibility briefly before dismissing it. "He was a good person. He wasn't like them. He wasn't like her. He would never do that."
"We should go after him because he burned our cabin,"
"Shauna, we don't know if it´s him," Natalie reasoned.
"Of course it was him! Who else would do that?"
"It might have been an accident. We don't know anything. Maybe the wilderness ignited the fire in response to our actions," Natalie proposed, attempting to ease the tension. Maybe Lottie is right and the forest has magical powers. Maybe the cabin burns down as punishment for letting Javi die. Will I ever forgive myself for not saving Javi?"
Natalie doesn´t believe in the Wilderness, but she recognizes the potential utility of such an explanation. While she didn't personally subscribe to the idea, she saw the value in diverting her friends' suspicions away from Coach Ben. Perhaps just me and Shauna didn't believe in the Wilderness shit, she thought. Natalie recognized that limiting the belief in Coach Ben's guilt to just Shauna would be a more effective approach than having the entire group doubt him. However, as events progressed, Natalie would come to realize that she had underestimated Shauna's capacity for causing harm to the group. Never underestimate a quiet and timid girl.
"You never believed in that bullshit. We should go after him and end him," Shauna glared at Natalie. The tension between them simmered.
"Nobody's going to harm anybody. Our priority should be staying in the cave and focusing on survival, not seeking revenge. Natalie is right. It probably wasn't anyone; it was probably the Wilderness punishing us," Taissa was tired. The last thing she wanted at that moment was to go on a revenge mission in the middle of the snow.
"I can't believe you're saying this, Tai. We all could've burned to death, and you're not interested in going after the responsible?" Shauna's frustration mounted.
"Maybe it was you who set the cabin on fire," Misty accused Shauna, a tactic to dismiss the idea of pursuing Coach Ben. While she didn't genuinely believe Shauna had set the cabin ablaze, Misty wanted to eliminate the prospect of her friends killing Coach Ben. She had saved him multiple times; she wouldn't consent to him being slain by their hands.
Shauna lunged at Misty, but Natalie swiftly intervened, pushing Shauna away. Taissa and Van held their friend. Furious, Shauna struggled against Van and Taissa's restraint.
"It wasn't Shauna who set the cabin on fire, and nobody's going after Coach Ben," Natalie declared firmly, asserting her role as leader.
Shauna wrested herself free from her friends and turned her back on Natalie. The unity among them was fraying. "Let's rest for now. It's been a dreadful night, and we can think about what to do later," Natalie said tired.
"First, let's take stock of what we have," Taissa suggested. She had only managed to grab a blanket and an axe, but she knew other girls had salvaged more from the cabin.
When it was Shauna's turn, Taissa asked about her belongings. Shauna claimed to have only a blanket and her backpack.
"You didn't take the hunting knife?" Taissa's disbelief was evident.
Shauna indeed had the knife, but for some reason, she thought it was better to hide it from her friends. Is this what they call instinct? The knife was secured under her pants at her ankle. "No. I looked for it, but I couldn't find it," she lied. The group exchanged incredulous glances.
Mari grabbed Shauna's backpack and started pulling out the items.
"I can't believe you saved your journals, your flannels, and Jackie's dress, yet you left behind the knife," Mari chastised Shauna, her words edged with disappointment. Shauna reclaimed her belongings, pushing Mari away. "You're sick," Mari accused and distanced herself from Shauna as everyone's gaze shifted between them. "While we had nothing but the clothes on our backs, you found time to save clothes and even Jackie's Doomcoming dress?"
"I was in the attic, so I was able to grab my backpack and you should thank me because I was the one who warned you all about the fire." Shauna defended herself, but the girls were still disappointed with her.
"Thank you, Shauna, for managing to alert us and even save your flannels. It's a shame you couldn't grab the hunting knife, but I'm glad you were able to get Jackie's dress. I hope it warms up soon so you can wear it," Van responded sarcastically, and Shauna shot her an angry look.
"I was able to save a suitcase near the fireplace," one of the juniors, Breanna, stated, displaying the bag. "We can share these clothes."
"That was Jackie's suitcase! No one..." Shauna's voice trailed off as she received a collective stare before she could finish her sentence. She intended to express that no one would wear Jackie's clothes, but she held her tongue.
"Jackie's bag was there because I was searching for something useful and found a belt to make soup. Sharing her clothes won't be an issue, right, Shauna?" Van questioned, glaring at Shauna.
The girls looked at all the things they managed to save from the fire, and it was little compared to what they had. The group's possessions consisted of two buckets, a pan, two kitchen knives, a gun with a box of bullets, an axe, 14 blankets, a few pillows, some personal clothes and things, and Jackie´s clothes.
"Did anyone grab the meat?" Taissa asked urgently and uncomfortably. She looked at Travis, who didn't look back.
"Yes. Misty and I grabbed the meat before we came here," Akilah replied.
"Tomorrow we'll go back to get the tables that were left outside," Taissa suggested.
"And you all don't want to go after Coach Ben. Look at what's left of us," Shauna persisted, pointing at the few things they had.
Natalie grabbed Shauna by the collar.
"I've already said that no one will harm Coach Ben. I'm the leader now, and you'll respect that, Shauna. Your inability to save anything useful from the fire doesn't make your case any stronger. Think twice before we decide to eliminate you." This marked the first time Natalie had asserted such authority. The others didn't intervene; they watched the situation unfold. The tension hung heavily in the air until Shauna lowered her head, in a sign of compliance. Natalie released a deep breath, satisfied with the outcome, and returned her attention to addressing the rest of the group. "I think it's best if we rest for a while, and later we'll decide our next steps."
The next day, Natalie attempted to reconcile with her teammate, but with limited success.
"You were the only one who didn't thank me yesterday, Shauna. Doesn't the cave meet your expectations?"," she said as she approached Shauna, who was engrossed in her journal.
"Actually, I really like it here, Nat. I even prefer this beautiful cave over the cabin. I need to thank Coach Scott for this before I thank you. What do you think?" Shauna maintained her sarcastic tone, and Natalie stared back at her.
"I've already told you, Shauna, that Coach Ben..."
"Don't worry, Natalie. I won't go after Coach Ben. Who am I to disobey the orders of our great leader, Natalie Scatorccio?" The two of them locked eyes. "And I'm sure you'll be just fine without my gratitude. No one thanked me for warning them about the fire and for staying out in the cold while cutting Javi and I´m fine." Shauna spoke, and it was clear she wasn't okay without the recognition of her efforts. She then returned to writing in her journal. Natalie rolled her eyes but persisted. She understood Shauna was emotionally unsteady, but she didn't want their relationship to sour. Though they hadn't been close friends, they were good teammates. While they hadn't openly acknowledged it, they had always held mutual respect. Natalie believed she could count on Shauna. This has changed now that I'm the leader?
"Thanks for warning us about the fire. I bet you were nagging in your journal about something, which is why you were awake. So thank you, Shauna's journal, for existing," Natalie remarked sarcastically. Shauna paused her writing and met Natalie's gaze.
"Thank you, Natalie, for locating this luxurious place for us," Shauna retorted, the tone dripping with sarcasm.
"Also, thank you, Shauna, for enduring the cold to be our skillful butcher. I truly recognize that it's a fuck up job." Natalie genuinely meant those words. She knew that their conversation wasn't friendly, but she tried to soften the tone a bit, but Shauna had other plans.
"Oh, I'm glad my dear leader can recognize my work," Shauna mocked Natalie's words. "But I'm the one who should be thanking you, Nat. Thank you for letting your brother-in-law die in your place so we could have something to eat," Shauna's words were full of bitterness.
"Fuck you, Shauna," Natalie snapped and stood up. There was no point in trying to talk to Shauna. Misty had already positioned herself in front of Natalie.
"Do you need us to do something?" Misty asked, pointing to Shauna. Behind her stood Breanna, Lucy, Dinah, Gen, and Melissa, united in support. Natalie hadn't anticipated this turn of events. When did Misty gain such influence over the other girls? And when did she decide to pledge allegiance to Natalie? Natalie appreciated the moment, but she promised herself she'd be careful. I can trust Misty? She thought.
"You don't need to do anything, Misty. We were just talking," Natalie clarified, gesturing to herself and Shauna. By this point, Shauna had already stood up, grabbed her backpack, and left the cave.
Without much choice, the girls adapted the life within the cave. Adjustments had occurred, but hunger remained a constant companion. Natalie chose not to ration the food as strictly as they had done with the bear meat. The prospect of consuming Javi's remains for weeks turned her stomach. Perhaps it was better to have good meals for a few days than to endure longer periods of scarcity? Consequently, their supply of meat was over by the fifth day. Despite the less-than-ideal circumstances, having a protein source for two or sometimes three meals per day lifted the group's spirits.
Amidst the challenges, Natalie felt surprisingly comfortable in her role as leader. The girls were independent and rarely sought her guidance. It suited her just fine. When clashes occurred, they were primarily with Shauna, and the group typically sided with Natalie. The dynamic worked well. She had also begun seeking assistance from Taissa, Van, and surprisingly, Lottie. They called their meetings "board meetings," with Van playfully comparing the cave to the USS Enterprise from Star Trek. Nat dismissed her when Van referred to her as "Captain Kirk."
"Tai is probably Uhura. She's definitely hot," Van remarked with a grin.
"Find a less nerdy reference, Palmer," Natalie teased.
"I'll come up with something even gayer," Van responded, sparking laughter. Van also joked that there was something romantic between Natalie and Lottie. While they had only convened twice, sharing decision-making responsibilities had eased Natalie's role as leader. She had grown closer to Lottie, which surprised her. She was more lenient toward Lottie's spiritual leadership, a point that Shauna often mocked by labeling Natalie as Lottie's "asslicker" due to Lottie having named her leader.
Perhaps Shauna was right, but Natalie realized that being patient and understanding with her friends was a vital survival strategy. In Natalie's case, it was equally critical for effective leadership. Despite the progress, Natalie was cautious about claiming perfection. The week they had spent in the cave was too brief to make definitive judgments. Nonetheless, it was clear that, apart from the essential struggles of survival, their most pressing challenge was Shauna.
Shauna was increasingly isolating herself from the group, and her behavior made it difficult for any of the other girls, including Taissa, her closest friend, to approach her. She ventured out of the cave before the others awakened and returned only after nightfall. During the second "council meeting", Lottie suggested involving Shauna in the decision-making process. However, her proposal found no support, and it was baffling to the group why Lottie made such a suggestion, especially considering Lottie's limited interactions with Shauna. Natalie couldn't help but roll her eyes at Lottie's inclination to bring up her "Wilderness" rhetoric and suggest that they needed Shauna. She'll be important for our survival and for some other shit that Natalie can't recall.
She didn't understand how Lottie was so understanding with Shauna after what Shauna had done to her. She respected Lottie's choice and the group's decision not to punish Shauna for what happened. Not only did Lottie volunteer to take the beating and possibly die at Shauna's hands, but the whole group allowed it to happen. She understood that it was a turning point in their way of life, but she couldn't accept supporting any violent outburst from Shauna. If they let Shauna, she would attack at least one of the girls every day.
So she doesn't agree to put any of Shauna's outbursts of violence on the Wilderness account. Even though Natalie used the concept of Wilderness to explain some events, such as the cabin's destruction, it didn't mean she believed in it. She thought she was deceiving the other girls, but she didn't intend to deceive Lottie. She had always made it clear to Lottie that she didn't believe in any of that, and she thought it was obvious that using the Wilderness was a way to help guide the girls, much like Lottie had done before.
But despite that, she and Lottie really were close. Lottie choosing her as a leader and still staying by her side helped her a lot in her leadership and she wouldn't be a fool to turn that down.
Van commented that she believed Lottie was avoiding Shauna to prevent any harm to Natalie.
"I think it's a coincidence, because Shauna barely stays at our camp, Van."
"Lottie always had a soft spot for Shauna. Tai is the same thing." Natalie sensed some resentment from Van when she brought that up but decided to let it go. "I thought Lottie would change after the beating, but oh no. We know from our meetings that Lottie really likes Shauna. She says she will be important, or whatever, but we don't see that support, Nat. I don't see them talking and I'm sure it's because she doesn't want to lose the influence she has with the girls and that ends up hurting you. Lottie is smarter than she shows and she knows Shauna is toxic to her image." Natalie was pleased to hear that. "And I suspected Shauna had no idea that Lottie thought so highly of her."
Van also mentioned that she thought there was a romantic tension between Lottie and Natalie, but she chose to ignore that.
And indeed, Shauna's experience within the cave was marked by a stark contrast to the overall group dynamics. While some members found a glimmer of hope and solace in their new shelter, Shauna's time within the cave had been anything but rewarding. Her emotional isolation and growing distrust set her apart from the others.
She was no longer responsible for taking care of the meat; no one had relieved her of the duty, but Shauna gave herself this break. She had already left Javi´s meat ready to use. What a cruel way to put it, but it was true. The less time I spend in the cave with the girls, the better.
She preferred to spend the rest of her time outside the cave and always carried her backpack with her. Shauna's decision to keep her backpack close, especially safeguarding her journals, reflected a deep need for privacy and a desire to retain some sense of control. Her journals contained her innermost thoughts and emotions, a raw record of her experiences, fears, and regrets. The fear of someone stumbling upon her personal writings and gaining insight into her vulnerabilities was a source of anxiety for her.
Despite her isolation, she attempted to contribute. At least that's how she viewed it. She moved the traps closer to their new location and promised if she managed to catch any animal, she would take it to the cave to share with her friends. She also embraced the opportunity to explore the forest, something she hadn't done in months since Jackie found out about her pregnancy.
Pregnancy can be a nerve-wracking experience, especially in a remote environment without access to medical assistance. During the early stages of her pregnancy, when Jackie was still unaware, Shauna found herself exploring the woods to keep herself occupied and to avoid Jackie's company, fearing that she might discover her secret. Jackie wasn't too keen on venturing into the woods herself. She would accompany Shauna if they stayed close, but she would often give up if the journey took them deeper. So for weeks Shauna only took long walks. One day, Jackie accused her of only going on long walks so that she wouldn't come along. She had said it playfully, not expecting it to be true, or perhaps she preferred to pretend. Then she added that she knew Shauna wasn't avoiding her; she just had a more acute survival instinct.
"Someone has to keep us alive here, Shipman. And that person will be you because I don't have that Tarzan spirit you possess; I'm more of a Jane," Shauna chuckled at the reference, at that moment, Jackie couldn't have been more wrong, but she didn't correct her. She let Jackie believe that Jane was a "girl failure" like her when in reality, Jane adapted quite well to jungle life – something Jackie never did. Their fight and the winter prevented Jackie from having more time to truly become the Jane she could have been. Maybe I was a terrible Tarzan.
Then in the following week, Jackie changed her mind and wanted to go for a long walk with Shauna, but she had one purpose: to find the lost bags. Luckily, all the survivors had found their respective suitcases on the day the plane crashed. But they knew that some bags had never been found: Rachel's suitcase, the crew's luggage, and the items from the sponsor that Jackie claimed were in a container, but Shauna was certain would be at most in a box.
Akilah always found it strange that they never found her friend's suitcase. She was superstitious and believed that Rachel's death in the crash was the reason they never found it. Shauna never understood the logic, but she did understand the sentimental value the bag held for Akilah, and of course, it could be useful for all of them.
The disappearance of the crew's luggage wasn't shrouded in mystery like Rachel's suitcase. Lottie had commented at the time that the plane was going to return to New Jersey shortly afterward, so there was no reason for the crew to have suitcases. But the girls still held onto hope because Misty claimed to have seen the flight attendant with a bag.
The sponsor's "container" was also surrounded by mysteries, not just because it was never found, but also due to its contents. Jackie was the one who had secured that sponsor for the team – a local drugstore owned by her family's friends. Only Shauna knew about that. Jackie thought it was irrelevant to tell the others that they were friends of her parents. One day, after they qualified for the National Championship, Jackie revealed the news. She made it seem like the sponsorship was much bigger than it actually was. She mentioned that they would be sending top-notch hygiene products to the best team in the city. She also said that she was negotiating a monetary contribution for personalized materials, but the money never came. Two days later, Lottie shared the news that her father would be renting a private plane to take them to Seattle, and of course, this was more exciting than what Jackie had managed to achieve. Jackie then never brought up the topic of her sponsor again, it couldn't compete with Lottie's private plane. Shauna even thought that they had given up on the sponsorship. It was only the day after the crash that Jackie mentioned a sponsor's container with hygiene products that could help them all. "It might even have items to aid in taking care of Coach Ben's leg." She spoke proudly of those items that were never found. At that moment, Jackie's imaginary container seemed much more popular than Lottie's father's plane.
From the beginning, Shauna knew that searching for the bags would be pointless, but she also knew she owed her best friend more time. However, this terrified her, as spending more time with Jackie meant enduring her incessant talking, which would inevitably lead to questions Shauna didn't want to answer. "Are you hiding something from me? Do you really have to sleep with Taissa in the attic?"
The questions didn't come, at least not on that day. Jackie was speaking less than usual, perhaps because Shauna had mentioned that it would be best to make less noise to avoid attracting wild animals like wolves. They searched around the area where the plane had crashed. Shauna didn't think it was a good idea since the girls had already done that on the second and third days after the crash. However, she didn't say anything as she was hungry, pregnant, tired, and afraid that Jackie might suggest going even further.
She wanted to return to the cabin as quickly as possible, but on that day, luckily, Jackie found a bird on the ground. Shauna remembered that it was the same kind that had fallen from the sky on the day of her baby shower. It was hurt, so couldn't fly. Jackie told Shauna to catch it because she wouldn't be able to do it. Without much difficulty, Shauna caught the bird. It was frightened, but for some reason, Shauna felt like it knew its fate. She looked at Jackie, who was watching her, trying to guess what she would do next. Shauna held the bird's head with one hand and without hesitation, broke its neck. Jackie jumped in surprise and widened her eyes.
"Wow, you are definitely my Tarzan, Shipman!" Jackie said impressed, and Shauna didn't find the compliment strange. She was focused on the bird.
"What should we do? Should we take it back to share with the others?" She asked but knew that the small animal wouldn't be enough for both of them, let alone more people.
"Let's eat this together. This will be our secret," Jackie confidently suggested, and Shauna immediately agreed. Jackie was smiling, but her expression changed when she remembered they didn't have a way to make fire to cook the bird. "Never mind. We didn't bring the lighter," she said, sounding disappointed. Shauna surprised Jackie for the second time that day when she took two twigs and a bundle of dry moss and lit a fire.
"How do you know how to do that, Shauna?!" She was genuinely impressed with her friend.
"Javi taught me. He was a scout and knew how to do it, but he hadn't managed yet, so we tried together and it worked. You need to rub the two pieces of wood, the secret is to use dry foliage to create an ember..." Shauna was about to explain, but Jackie interrupted her.
"You don't need to teach me, Shipman. If I ever need to make a fire, I'll ask you." Jackie couldn't be more wrong about this.
Anyway, now her walks were done alone. Her two previous companions had died and worse yet, had become food for the group. Perhaps I bring bad luck to my hiking friends.
On her first day of walking, she came across a massive tree that reminded her of the entrance to the cave. However, instead of a cave, it had a hole in its trunk that could fit a person – at least a small person like her. "If I ever need a hiding place, I know where to find one," she thought. But it´s too close to their camp. Maybe it's not a good hiding spot after all. She continued walking and before she knew it, she was standing in front of the cabin. Or at least what was left of it. She looked around and saw that the tables were no longer there. I guess the girls came here today, she mused, feeling more at ease knowing she was unlikely to find her friends there. She then headed towards the meat shed. The door of the plane was gone too. What are they going to do with it? Her pillow was also missing. She sat on the ground and tried to start writing in her journal, but she couldn't. It was no longer her safe place. She stood up and left.
On the third day of this routine, she noticed tracks that resembled crutch imprints in the snow. She followed them for approximately 500 meters until she stumbled upon Coach Ben. He was near some old traps that had been set during the fall. Unaware of her presence, Shauna watched as he moved around. Eventually, he began walking, and she shadowed him despite his slower pace due to the crutches. He was carrying an axe. They had three axes in the cabin. Shauna never understood why there were so many. "Perhaps the dead guy in the attic had a family, and each of them had their own axe", Jackie once said. That didn't matter anymore. Coach Ben destroyed everything, she remembered angrily. Suddenly, he stopped in front of a tree. The location wasn't too far from the cabin, maybe about a kilometer away. It seemed to be as far from the cabin as the cave they were in was but on opposite sides. Ben stood before a tree, surveyed his surroundings, and then entered the tree's hollow. More caves, Shauna thought, mentally marking the spot. She returned early the following day and waited for an hour until Coach Ben emerged from the cave, carrying a bucket. He headed towards the lake, and Shauna seized the opportunity to enter the cave.
Inside, she discovered a stash of evidence: matches, another bucket, both axes, ropes, and Ben's personal belongings. Shauna's suspicions were confirmed – he had set the cabin on fire. With tangible proof before her, Shauna left everything untouched and exited the cave before Coach Ben's return.
On her way back, she pondered whether to tell the girls about what she had discovered. Natalie had made it clear that she didn't want to go after Coach Ben, and they still had meat. Maybe they'll change their minds when the meat runs out, which I believe will last at least another week if we keep rationing. She decided not to say anything for now but would continue observing his routine. She had plans to kill him, so she would prepare herself for that.
The next day, she maintained her routine, but this time ventured a bit further and walked another kilometer past Ben's cave. She found a tree similar to the one that marked the entrance of his and their cave. She investigated further and, to her surprise, discovered another cave. How many caves are there in this place? She entered, and although smaller, Shauna liked it more than the cave Natalie had found. She then prepared a fire and spent the rest of the day there. She wrote in her journal, sharpened her knife, and began to think about how to kill Coach Scott. She had a small portion of meat wrapped in a leaf. Every morning before leaving, she would take the portion of meat she thought she needed and wrap it in the leaf. The only meal she had with the girls was dinner.
But to Shauna's surprise, when she returned to the cave that day, she found out that the meat had run out. This ignited another argument between her and the other girls.
"I thought we were rationing the meat! I was just taking what I thought was my fair share in a food rationing situation. Now the meat is gone, and I've ended up eating less than everyone else? This is so damn unfair."
"You took meat every morning and didn't realize it was running out?" Mari asked incredulously.
"I saw it, but I thought you guys were keeping the rest somewhere else. I didn't know you weren't rationing," Shauna replied. "If I had known, I would have taken more."
"You left your job and now you come to complain to us. Maybe the meat ran out because you took more than you should have," Mari accused, and Shauna became even angrier.
"Fuck you, Mari. I took my share, assuming the meat would last two weeks. I'm the one being screwed over here."
"I thought you guys were saving Shauna's share while she was away," Lottie asked.
"No, we weren't, because I knew she was taking meat before leaving. I just didn't know she was being stupid and taking less," Mari taunted, Shauna finally lunged at her, but Van and Taissa held her back.
"You isolated yourself by choice, Shauna. I'm sorry if you think you were eating less, but nobody here is your babysitter." Natalie interjected. "And I decided for us to ration food less. I thought it would be better for us to eat well since we've been starving for months. The weather is improving, and soon Travis and I will be able to hunt something, " Natalie said confidently. She just omitted that the main reason for not rationing the meat was that she didn't want to eat Javi's meat for an extended period.
"And until then, what do we have to eat?"
"Pine soup," Natalie replied to Shauna, and the two locked eyes. Shauna chuckled at her friend's response.
"I must say, I couldn't have asked for a better leader. Lottie, thanks for your exceptional choice. If we ever get out of here, I'm sure you'll be the President of the United States, Natalie," Shauna teased her friend.
"Do you genuinely think you'd be a better leader, Shauna?" Natalie inquired, a hint of skepticism in her voice.
"Yes," Shauna responded hesitantly, which prompted laughter from the other girls.
"Does the person who needs to be restrained every fucking day for everyone's safety, and who's currently being held right now, really believe she'd make a better leader?" Natalie's words dripped with frustration. She had no intention of being gentle with Shauna. "The only thing you seem to excel here is being an asshole. Being an asshole seems to be your primary talent. You didn't help. You are just an asshole. If you don't want the soup, don't eat it, but don't act like an asshole towards the rest of us. Everyone is doing their best, except you."
During the next day's meeting, they will decide to ration the meat for the next time.
"Animal meat," Natalie emphasized. "Not human flesh. We will no longer eat human flesh. I am sure about that, will be just a few more days of pine soup. The weather is changing." She tried to convince herself more than Van, Tai, and Lottie. The other three didn't seem to share the same certainty as Natalie.
However, Shauna had different intentions. She was resolute in her plan to kill Coach Ben and was actively preparing for the act. She had observed his routine and noted that he preferred to leave the cave early in the morning. She speculated that he might be avoiding encountering them deliberately. Shauna watched as he struggled to gather wood and collect snow for water outside. Occasionally, he ventured to the lake to check the traps, but he never seemed to return with any food. She couldn't understand how he managed to survive and why he still wanted to be alive.
After observing him, she would head to her small cave where she spent the day contemplating how she would kill him. She practiced knife movements and tried to execute them as swiftly as possible. "I know he's missing a leg and doesn't seem like a threat," she thought, "but I can't underestimate him; after all, he was an athlete just a few months ago," she reminded herself.
She was truly determined and lost in her thoughts. If only this cave had a window, it would be perfect. She sighed as she realized it was getting dark and she needed to leave. After all, it's a 2km walk through the snow.
When she returned, everyone was in the cave. It seemed like they already had dinner.
"Did you find something for us to eat, Shauna?" Mari asked, and Shauna shook her head. "Sure, as if you were actually looking. Maybe next time I'll make soup out of Jackie's dress since that's the only thing you're capable of hunting," Mari taunted, clearly expressing her frustration with Shauna's lack of cooperation, but mostly with the lack of food. The other girls stood up, ready to intervene in any potential fight, but surprisingly, Shauna didn't retaliate. She ignored Mari and went to sit in a more isolated corner.
Lottie approached and sat down beside Shauna. She handed her a bowl of pine soup. Shauna looked at it hesitantly and accepted the bowl, eating in silence.
The taller girl still had a bruised face. Since that incident, they hadn't exchanged many words. Two days after the beating, Shauna thanked her friend for helping her cope with her grief and promised to do whatever Lottie wanted. She didn't know if Lottie had heard her. Either way, when Misty said that Lottie was satisfied with the Wilderness choice, Shauna didn't hesitate and went to fulfill her role as a butcher with the dead Javi. Perhaps Lottie didn't interpret that as a gesture of gratitude and didn't choose Shauna as the leader. She thought they had a connection, but maybe she had misinterpreted it, just like a cat bringing a dead animal to show its owner, thinking it was pleasing them.
And Shauna knew that Lottie openly supported Natalie, not only by choosing her as the leader but also by spending all their time together. And Natalie had already made it clear that she despised Shauna.
"You've been spending a lot of time outside these days," Lottie remarked, offering Shauna a bowl of soup which she accepted. "It's still quite cold out, and you might end up getting sick," Lottie added in a gentle tone. Lottie's demeanor was surprisingly kind, and Shauna couldn't help but wonder whether Lottie truly held animosity towards her or not. Could she trust her?
"I've been trying to find something for us to eat," Shauna spoke hesitantly. She wasn't lying, as she was indeed doing that, since she intended to serve Coach Ben as their next meal.
"And if you found something, how would you kill it? You left the hunting knife to burn in the cabin," Gen questioned, and Shauna realized that other girls had been eavesdropping on her conversation with Lottie.
"I've been taking care of the traps," Shauna defended herself. "I moved some of them around..."
"As if that would make any difference. There's plenty of work to be done here, Shauna. We brought the tables and the door from your precious meat shed. You could have helped. But no, you're just as useless as Jackie was."
Shauna saw red and stood up, ready to confront Gen, but Lottie held her back this time.
"Gen, you've crossed the line." Taissa defended Shauna. She knew that living with her friend had become difficult, but provoking Shauna and placing all the blame on her wasn't fair. Shauna had become an easy target, and Taissa wasn't comfortable with that.
"She's not helping, and she's even wasting the little food we have." Gen pointed at the bowl that Shauna had dropped on the ground when she was about to fight. "She's indeed being as useless as Jackie, who at least served as food. Something that could happen to you as well, Shauna!" Gen teased, and everyone widened their eyes. "What, are you going to tell me no one thought about it? I can't stand this soup anymore, I'm up for drawing the cards again." Gen spoke confidently, and the younger girls all agreed.
They exchanged glances, their gazes eventually settling on Natalie, who felt a surge of fear at the thought of making such a decision.
"Tomorrow, Travis and I will venture a bit farther away to search for something," Natalie spoke, her voice wavering with uncertainty. She hadn't anticipated having to confront this situation so directly. She glanced around the group, her eyes locking briefly with Lottie's, and at that moment, she regretted being chosen as the leader.
"That's bullshit. There's a reason we haven't been able to find animals to hunt for months," Gen retorted, and the younger girls echoed their agreement. Natalie was taken aback by the collective sentiment. It seemed that the entire group had been affected by desperation and fear. Perhaps Shauna wasn't the only one teetering on the edge of violence and desperation.
"We've endured longer periods without food before. I can't believe you're suggesting this again," Natalie responded, her voice strained with the weight of the situation.
"We can go after Coach Ben," Shauna spoke excitedly, but it didn't receive the reception she expected. To her, it seemed obvious to kill him before any of the others. Misty glared at her angrily.
"I've already told you, Shauna, we're not going after him," Nat retorted firmly.
"It wasn't Coach Ben who set the cabin on fire. It was the Wilderness itself. It punished us for killing someone innocent who hadn't resorted to consuming human flesh. We mustn't repeat that mistake with Coach Ben," Misty explained, her voice carrying a tone of conviction. Shauna found it hard to believe the explanation.
"How convenient to you invoke the Wilderness to save your precious Coach," Shauna snapped back. "He never even liked you. He tried to kill you, he tried to kill all of us. And you're willing to sacrifice one of us for him. I can't believe you're all on board with this, Nat."
"Shauna, I've told you before that he didn't set the cabin on fire. And Misty is right – involving Coach Ben in this situation isn't fair to him. But we can't…" Natalie began to explain but was interrupted by Shauna's angry retort.
"You let Javi die in your place. He was helping you escape, and now you're saying it's not fair to kill Coach Ben. That doesn't make any sense at all," Shauna's accusatory words hung in the air, directed at Natalie with a blend of anger and frustration.
Shauna didn't need to throw it in her face for Natalie to remember her own culpability in Javi's death. This made Natalie reluctant to involve another person she considered innocent. However, Shauna's persistence in wanting to kill Coach Ben and the pressure from the other girls to use the cards again pushed Natalie over the edge. She couldn't hold back anymore and threw a punch, hitting Shauna in the mouth. Maybe I've been wanting to do this for a while, she thought. The girls didn't wait for Shauna to react before holding her back. This showed the respect they had for their leader.
"Let me finish," Natalie said, pointing at Shauna, who was being held back by Van and Gen. "As I was saying, we're not going after Coach Ben, and we're not resorting to killing anyone here. Tomorrow, Travis and I are going to hunt."
"What if you don't find anything?" Mari asked.
"Then we can talk… but we not going after Coach Ben," Natalie addressed the group with a determined tone, her gaze particularly intense as it locked onto Shauna. Among them, Misty appeared quite satisfied with Natalie's decision. Initially, Misty had her doubts when Lottie chose Natalie as the leader, wondering if she would be better suited for the role. However, witnessing Natalie's refusal to entertain the notion of killing Coach Ben shifted Misty's perspective. She recognized that Natalie's compassionate stance was a testament to her leadership abilities. Maybe Natalie truly is the best leader for us, Misty mused.
Eventually, Shauna managed to free herself from their grip. She headed towards the exit of the cave, but before leaving, she locked eyes with Natalie. "Good luck with the hunt tomorrow," she said with a defiant tone. She then spat blood on the ground and walked out of the cave.
Taissa followed her friend, who was kneeling on the ground, putting snow in her mouth to stop the bleeding. Snow was the only remedy the girls had.
"Let me take a look, Shauna," Taissa said, her concern evident in her voice.
"I'm fine, I don't need your damn help," Shauna retorted, attempting to pull away from Taissa's grasp. Despite her resistance, Taissa continued to stare at her friend, clearly still worried about her.
Taissa was aware that her friendship with Shauna had its ups and downs. She knew she hadn't always been the best friend to her, and recent events had strained their relationship even further. The constant need to restrain Shauna to prevent fights had taken a toll on her. It seemed like she had lost count of how many times she had to step in this week alone to prevent Shauna from getting into confrontations.
Van had expressed her frustration too, remarking that it always seemed to fall to them to hold Shauna back. Taissa chuckled at Van's suggestion to include "holding Shauna" as one of their assigned tasks for the day. It was clear that Van's concern for Shauna's safety was minimal, but Taissa's care for her friend's well-being remained. And while their interventions were for Shauna's safety, they also had the safety of the other girls in mind. Taissa remembered that Van had even made Mari promise to help restrain Shauna if she attempted to attack her. It was a challenging situation for everyone involved.
"Mari, I've held Shauna back several times to prevent her from doing to you what she did to Lottie. You have to promise me that you'll restrain this wild animal if she ever comes at me and Tai." Mari promised and even said that she could beat Shauna in a fight. Taissa was skeptical about that. After witnessing Shauna's capabilities, Taissa wasn't sure if anyone could defeat her in a one-on-one fight. She knew the importance of restraining Shauna before she started a fight, as she wasn't sure how much damage could be done if they tried to hold her back after she had already thrown the first punch. She had seen the look on Shauna's face when she hit Lottie. No one held Shauna back on that occasion for several reasons, one of which was the fear of being targeted by her as well.
Taissa reflected on her role as a supportive friend to Shauna, acknowledging that their bond had been stronger when Jackie was still alive. The irony of the situation was not lost on her – We were best friends when her best friend was still alive. Yeah, that's the complexity of being friends with Shauna.
But she didn't want to give up on their friendship. She knows how important she is to Shauna and how Shauna is important to her. I have her back, and I know she has my back too. I can't give up on that. Van disagreed. She believed that Taissa was a better friend to Shauna than Shauna was to Taissa.
"You need to calm down, Shauna. Everyone thinks you've gone crazy."
"Well, aren't we all crazy already? We use cards to decide who we're going to kill to eat. That seems pretty crazy to me already." Tai remained silent. "What I don't understand is that my desire to kill the person who set fire to our cabin is seen as madness, but blaming the fuck Wilderness isn't," Shauna spoke angrily.
"I don't think you're crazy for wanting to kill Coach Ben. Maybe I find it a bit violent and reckless, but you've been acting insane before the cabin caught fire, Shauna. You know that. It's become impossible to reason with you; you're always on the defensive, ready to fight instead of talk." She locked eyes with Shauna, who gazed back with sadness.
"Those damn sad brown eyes you can't resist," Van complained, in one of their arguments, that Taissa was giving more attention to Shauna than to her, her girlfriend. On that day, a week after Jackie's death, Taissa had decided to spend more time with Van, who was still recovering from the wolf attack. Meanwhile, Shauna spent more time with Jackie's body.
Taissa inhaled deeply, the cold air cutting through her lungs.
"Tomorrow, this conversation will seem irrelevant, because Nat and Travis will find something. I feel like it's getting less cold every day. Look at us arguing out here in the night and we're not even freezing." Taissa was indeed freezing.
"We're standing in the damn snow, Tai. It's ridiculous to believe the weather is actually changing, that it's getting less cold. You all are just in denial," Shauna retorted, her words hanging in the frigid air. The two fell silent for a moment. " Do you really prefer to take your chances with the cards instead of going after Coach Ben?"
"If only I had some evidence that he's guilty..."
"Come on, it's obviously him. But even if it wasn't him, even if he denied it, do you really prefer to leave it up to chance with the cards, even knowing that you and Van could be chosen?" Shauna didn't include herself in Taissa's dilemma, as she knows she doesn't have the luck of Natalie, who had Travis to help her escape being killed. She knows Taissa wouldn't do that for her. She was her best friend here, but the person who might have done that for Shauna is dead, and Shauna knew she was the one to blame for Jackie's death. Taissa stared at her friend and slowly nodded. "I can't believe this... Why?"
"It's more fair."
"Fair?" Shauna's frustration was palpable.
"Yes. For starters, Coach Ben never wanted any part in it, he never wanted to eat, you know..."
"Eat human flesh, be a cannibal. You can say those words, Taissa."
"But I don't feel comfortable." Shauna rolled her eyes.
"We've already devoured two people, bones and all, and you can't say we're fucking cannibals. Fuck you, Taissa." Shauna was tired of her friends' hesitation and hypocrisy. She could've sworn that after what they did to Javi, everyone would be more comfortable with the idea, but apparently not.
"See, there's our difference. You seem quite comfortable with that. I'm not. That's why I prefer the cards. It's luck, or the Wilderness's choice. It doesn't matter, but it's not something deliberate."
"Bullshit." Shauna wasn't against the cards. She was actually in favor of it the first time when Taissa and Van suggested it. However, she found it absurd to resort to that method when they had the option to go after Coach Ben.
"You shouldn't think it's bullshit, because if it were a vote, you'd be screwed. At least with the cards, you have a much better chance of not being chosen."
"Do you think they would vote for me?" Shauna asked in surprise, and Taissa was equally surprised.
"Come on, Shauna. You've been insufferable all week, and you think they wouldn't vote for you? I'm just sure that you wouldn't have mine and your vote, but the rest…"
"Would Van vote for me? I never did anything to her."
"You bit her."
"But that's nothing. I can't believe Melissa, Nat, and Lottie would vote for me. I gave them rides several times." Shauna was really serious, and Taissa began to find it amusing.
"I can't believe you think someone would not vote for you because of some damn ride, Shauna." Taissa laughed and so did Shauna.
"But I always helped with things. It would be unfair for them to vote for me."
"That's why I prefer the cards."
"I still can't believe Van would vote for me because I bit her, and the others would vote for me after everything I've done." Shauna was truly saddened by this possibility, and Taissa couldn't fathom that Shauna would think they wouldn't vote for her after everything she had done that week. "I am the butcher. I should be more valued."
"Shauna, a week ago we almost killed our Huntress."
"Which would be really stupid."
"But it would be fair, and you almost did it." And Shauna almost killed Natalie. She hesitated, but she was ready to do it. I hope I don't hesitate when it's Coach Ben's time.
"We are so messed up."
"Yes. That's why you should reconsider your relationship with everyone. If they choose to switch their votes, you'll be screwed, and I won't be able to help." Tai spoke jokingly, but she was serious.
"Tai, Nat wants to talk to you, me, and Lottie," Van called out, interrupting their conversation. Taissa looked back at her younger friend who was still trying to stop the bleeding from her mouth.
"Let's go inside, Shauna, it's cold."
"Go talk to your friends. I know I'm not welcome at your little meeting." Tai looked sadly at Shauna but went into the cave with Van.
Natalie called them to talk in a more secluded part of the cave. The cave wasn't spacious, but it had a corner where the stones formed a sort of alcove, allowing them a bit more privacy for their conversation. This was the corner where Shauna often stayed when she wrote in her journal.
"Is Shauna okay, Tai?" Lottie asked concerned.
"She´s fine. That is nothing compared to what she did to you, Lottie," Van interjected without waiting for Taissa's response. "We have more important things to discuss."
"I don't care about Shauna, I called you all because I need your help to get this idea of cards out of the girls' heads. We've gone longer without food." Natalie spoke impatiently.
"But we're all tired of starving, Nat. It's not absurd what the girls are suggesting," Van spoke, surprising Natalie. "We had three meals a day after Javi's death. And it was good."
Perhaps not rationing the meat was the worst idea Natalie had. Surely some philosopher has some quotes about terrible ideas born from guilt.
"What do you think?" Natalie asked Taissa and Lottie, who were quiet.
"I'd rather believe that you'll manage to hunt something tomorrow," Taissa replied without much confidence. But she had already decided to kill someone a week ago, and she didn't want to do it again. Not while she's just a counselor.
"The Wilderness will help you decide tomorrow. If you and Travis find something, it's because it doesn't want us to continue with this." Lottie spoke enigmatically, which didn't help Natalie.
"I can't believe that's your advice," Natalie said, frustrated with Lottie and Taissa. "Van said something I disagree with, but at least she committed to it. You two didn't! Is this because I punched Shauna?" she asked incredulously.
"No, it's not about that. It's just that it's a tough decision, Natalie, and you've already made your opinion clear. I don't think I can influence your decision." Taissa responded. "But I do believe that Shauna has become an easy target for everyone's frustration, and that bothers me," Van looked incredulously at her girlfriend.
"Tai is right. What you're doing to Shauna is not right." Lottie supported her friend.
"I can't believe that out of all people, you're condemning a little punch I gave to Shauna, Lottie. She almost killed you, and I can't believe we're talking about this when the real problem is the lack of food." Natalie was frustrated with the direction the conversation was taking.
"Nat, you thought it was best not to ration the food, and I understand, but that would have consequences. Maybe tomorrow the Wilderness will recognize your kindness towards Coach Ben and bring us some food." Lottie once again appealed to the Wilderness, and Natalie rolled her eyes.
"If you don't want to go with the cards, you have the option of Coach Ben," Taissa suggested, picking up on Lottie's words.
"Did you spend five minutes with Shauna and she convinced you to go after Coach Ben, Tai?" Van asked, feeling uneasy.
"No, Van. I'm not in favor of that option, since we've determined he's innocent, but it's an option. Natalie is seeking advice, and we're trying to help here. Unfortunately, we can't make food appear out of thin air. It's a tough decision you'll have to make, Natalie. " Taissa added.
"I thought we would make decisions together in the council," Natalie asked frustratedly.
"No, we're here to help you, not to decide for you, Nat. The decision not to ration food was entirely yours. That's the burden of being the leader," Lottie commented, and at that moment, Van felt that the dynamic between them, which had been going well this week, had shifted. Lottie and Taissa looked at Natalie affectionately and left the conversation.
"With great power comes great responsibility," Van said to her friend, who looked at her with doubt. "Spider-Man."
"Van, I need help here, not some stupid geek reference." Natalie was frustrated as a leader for the first time. "Do you think I was too harsh on Shauna?" Natalie asked.
"Nah, Tai and Lottie have a soft spot for her. It's those damn sad brown eyes." Van spoke with resentment. "She's being unbearable; it was about time someone hit her," Van replied, offering support to her friend.
"I think that too, but I don't want to be unfair to anyone."
"Shauna's being stupid, Nat. She has a reputation for being smart because she got good grades, but she's emotionally stupid. Big deal, getting straight A's and then getting pregnant by your best friend's boyfriend. She's isolating herself by choice, when just the other day, we were helping with the pregnancy." Van was really frustrated with Shauna. "We gave her the warmest blanket, then the bed... we let her talk to Jackie's corpse for two months. She doesn't have the right to be an asshole to us," Van continued.
"Maybe you're right," Nat agreed, not wanting to dwell on it. Her main concern was the food.
"And what about Lottie?" Van asked.
"What about her?"
"Did you guys fight?" Van was curious.
"Something like that," Nat replied, but she brushed it off. "I don't want to talk about it. I really have other things to worry about." She was referring to the food dilemma.
"You know my opinion, Nat. I'm not going to tell you what you want to hear, and I also don't think you can change the girls' minds. Everyone here wants to survive. We've been eating this awful soup for 3 days, and no one can take it anymore. It's not with pin soup that we're going to survive. Everybody knows that." Natalie looked concerned at Van. "You don't have to give the order. We can agree that if you don't find anything tomorrow, I'll organize a card ritual. We can make it a group decision." Van tried to ease the situation for her friend.
"I swore we wouldn't eat human meat anymore," Nat spoke with emotion.
"But it seems like the Wilderness didn't hear you." Van provocatively retorted and left the area.
I really need to find something tomorrow.
The next day, Travis and Natalie left the cave early to hunt. It was very windy. The wind howled through the trees, creating a haunting symphony in the forest and Shauna doubted they would be able to catch anything. Shauna had a hard time getting to Ben's cave that day and couldn't stay outside for long waiting for him to come out. "Well, it seems like today is your lucky day, Coach Ben," she thought. She planned to kill him outside the cave, as it would be easier to deal with his body outside. She then returned to the main cave earlier. It was too cold to be wandering around the forest.
All the girls were inside the cave. Some were talking, but the atmosphere was tense. The wind was so strong that Shauna could hear it from inside the cave.
"The weather is really improving, Tai," Shauna tried to provoke her friend, who simply ignored her. Several times, Lottie gathered her acolytes to go outside and listen to the trees. She appeared to be quite concerned about Nat and Travis. "Why don't you listen to the trees from here? And I'm pretty sure the sound of the wind and the trees is the same shit," she suggested, her tone not very pleasant.
"That 'shit' saved your life when you were walking pregnant through the snow, Shauna. Don't forget that," Van retorted, also not in the friendliest manner. She then exited the cave, followed by the other girls and Taissa. Shauna rolled her eyes in response.
She looked around and found herself alone in the cave with the three other girls who, to her knowledge, hardly interacted with anyone besides Misty. They were playing with the cards, and Breanna, the shorter one, was doing some kind of magic.
"I hope we only use those cards today for that," Shauna attempted to initiate a conversation with the girls, who regarded her with odd looks. She recalled Taissa's advice about improving her relationships with others and figured she might as well start with them. "I mean, I wouldn't like us to draw cards today, you know, for that," she clarified, emphasizing her point.
"We're not concerned about that," Lucy, the taller one, replied. "We're not afraid of it."
"Bold," Shauna forced herself to be friendly, although she despised it.
"It's not about bravery, it's about trusting the Wilderness," Dinah chimed in, and the other two burst into laughter. Shauna found herself unable to grasp the joke, which only added to her growing frustration.
"Why aren't you 'all out there listening to the fucking trees?" she snapped.
"Because it's too cold to do that," Breanna responded. Perhaps they're less fanatic in this cult shit, Shauna thought. "But we're also not foolish enough to mock their beliefs," Dinah added. Shauna furrowed her brow and fell silent. The girls returned to playing with the cards, and Shauna picked up her journal. Alright, I'll just continue pretending they don't exist, she decided.
It was late afternoon when Natalie and Travis returned, of course without any successful hunting. Shauna was tense, but she doubted that if they were to decide to draw the cards, it would be that day. "I still have tomorrow to kill Coach Ben," she thought as she continued writing in her journal in her corner, not even noticing when Van had already taken out the cards. Natalie looked at her friend with concern.
"Travis and I just got back, Van. Let's give it a little time before we talk about this. Who knows, maybe we'll do that tomorrow?" Natalie attempted to delay the inevitable. She was disappointed with her friend, but Van had warned her that this might happen, and they needed her to make difficult decisions.
"We're hungry, Nat. It needs to happen now."
"But we've gone longer without eating."
"But we don't want that anymore. Now we know we can eat well every day; we don't want more pine soup." Misty spoke with confidence, and all the girls concurred.
"Do you support this?" Natalie asked Lottie desperately, hoping that if Lottie hesitated, the other girls might change their minds.
"It's no longer my decision to make." Lottie's response was honest. One of the reasons she gave up the leadership was to avoid having to make this kind of decision. Natalie stared at her, frustration evident in her gaze.
"I vote for doing it tomorrow," Shauna suggested confidently, thinking the other girls would agree, unaware of her lack of influence with them. Perhaps Shauna is emotionally stupid. Natalie appreciated the gesture, but having Shauna's support had the same effect as the goalkeeper in the team's attack, zero.
The girls ignored Shauna, obviously, and continued looking at Natalie and in that moment, she realized that whether she liked it or not, the cards were inevitable.
"The weather is too bad for us to do this today." Shauna insisted desperately. She really doubted that they would do it today. Why didn't I kill Coach Ben today?
"It's not anymore. The winds stopped as soon as Van picked the cards. Listen. " Akilah observed.
The winds had indeed stopped.
"The Wilderness seems to approve of our decision," Misty added.
"Let's do this outside," Nat finally conceded, acknowledging her defeat in the face of the group's decision. After the others left the cave, Shauna seized the opportunity. She retrieved the knife she had hidden in her ankle under her pants and concealed it under her shirt, tucked into her waist.
"Are you trying to escape, Shauna??" Mari's voice caught her off guard as Mari pulled her into the circle that had formed outside the cave. Shauna shot Mari an annoyed look.
"Natalie, you should stay out of this. You're our leader," Lottie suggested, and the other girls agreed. However, Shauna protested, but her objections fell on deaf ears once again.
"You should stay out too, Lottie, as you're still recovering and might not be able to run," Nat suggested. The girls seemed puzzled by the mention of running.
"Run?" some of them questioned.
"Yes," Nat confirmed.
"Are we going on a hunt?" Misty asked with excitement in her voice. Nat sighed and nodded.
"Yes, I think it's more fair. The chosen one may have a chance, just like I did," Nat explained, her gaze falling to the ground with a hint of embarrassment. The memory of Javi's death still weighed heavily on her.
"I should have let you hit me harder yesterday, Natalie so I could get away with it like Lottie," Shauna protested, her tone defiant.
"Don't speak as if you had no part in this, Shauna. You were the one who nearly killed her," Natalie retorted, defending Lottie. Lottie touched Natalie's shoulder to calm her down. Shauna rolled her eyes at their interaction.
"How convenient. Why not spare Travis, who conveniently saved you the last time, but inconveniently lost his brother," Shauna shot back, her tone sharp and bitter.
"Enough, Shauna!" Taissa and Lottie both shouted, their frustration evident in their voices.
"You've appeared uneasy about the cards, Shauna. If you prefer, we can switch to a vote instead. I'm sure you'll be thrilled with the outcome," Van taunted, alluding to the possibility that Shauna might receive the most votes, as Tai had hinted the day before. Shauna locked eyes with her but remained silent.
"Let's proceed," urged Taissa, prompting everyone to form a circle, except for Natalie and Lottie, who observed from the outside.
"One final rule: if no one takes the queen of hearts in the first round, we will postpone the hunt for today and come up with a different plan for tomorrow." Some girls contemplated protesting, but they respected Natalie's decision.
Van shuffled the cards, and then she asked if anyone wanted to shuffle again. Breanna volunteered. Earlier, Taissa had noticed Van talking to Misty, Breanna, Lucy, and Dinah. It struck her as odd, since apart from Misty, she hadn't seen anyone interacting with these girls. Later, Van had mentioned that these girls were quite nice, and that was it.
Taissa didn't want to think about it now, because her girlfriend, as in the previous time, would be the first to draw a card. She kept her eyes fixed on Van, who retrieved the cards and confidently drew the first card - a four of diamonds. Taissa let out a sigh of relief. Van exchanged a smile with her girlfriend and then handed the cards to Misty, who seemed quite confident.
Misty drew her card next, revealing 6 of the clubs. The draw continued in the same manner. Taissa was the fourth to draw, and once again, she missed the queen of hearts. Akilah was next and drew 10 of the spades. Tai felt a mixture of relief that she, Van, and Akilah were safe, but there was still Shauna to go, and she had a sinking feeling about it.
Shauna felt a small relief when Taissa didn't draw the queen of hearts, but she wasn't rooting for anyone else there. Whoever drew the queen of hearts, she would hunt them down fiercely. They wanted it this way, they didn't want to listen to me. But she wasn't calm. She was a bundle of nerves. And knowing that she would be the second-to-last to draw a card made her even more uncertain. So when Misty approached, wearing a smile and holding the cards, Shauna didn't reciprocate. Why the hell is she smiling right now? I'll wipe that grin off your face when I take care of your precious Coach Ben, she found herself lost in her thoughts.
"Come on, Shauna," Misty's voice called out to her, and Shauna reluctantly looked down. A sense of unease settled over her. Why do I have a bad feeling about this? She took a deep breath and reached for a card, her hands trembling with anxiety.
And then, it happened. She drew the card, and it was the queen of hearts.
Her heart sank, and despair engulfed her. In a fit of frustration, she threw the queen of hearts into the snow.
"You set me up!" she cried out, her voice laced with desperation. "This is some kind of trick. I saw her manipulating the cards." She pointed an accusing finger at Breanna. However, nobody seemed to pay any attention. All eyes were fixed on Shauna, filled with hunger and anticipation.
She tried to look for Taissa, but Natalie stepped in front of her and grabbed her by the collar of her shirt.
"When it was my turn, I faced it with my head held high. Don't be a coward and do the same, Shauna." Natalie's words pierced through Shauna's turmoil. She gazed at Nat, tears streaming down her face, overwhelmed by a mixture of emotions.
"They set me up, Nat," Shauna persisted, her voice filled with sadness. "It's not fair. Who's going to be the butcher now? You're all just a bunch of bitches who never acknowledge the work I've done." Shauna's desperation was palpable, her anger and fear spilling out.
Then, a tender touch on her neck caught her attention. It was Lottie, placing Jackie's chain around her neck.
"Natalie told me you had done this to her," Lottie whispered in her ear, her voice comforting. "We need to keep up this ritual. I hope it brings you luck and helps you prove your worth to escape this fate."
Shauna felt a mix of emotions flooding over her—resentment, sadness, gratitude, and a flicker of hope. The weight of the chain felt both burdensome and reassuring at the same time.
Was Lottie genuinely supporting her, or was it just some kind of ritualistic gesture from the cult? Shauna didn't stick around to find out. She shoved her friends aside and ran away. The others started to chase after her, but Natalie signaled for them to hold back.
"Let´s wait for 30 seconds, then we can go," Natalie instructed, closing her eyes and counting the time. "Run!"