Chapter Text
Attempted Murder
knife wife, kazzle dazzle capitalist, van sunshine, bi wife energy, thing 1, thing 2
Aug 11, 10:29 am
thing 2
happy move in day!
knife wife
Our lease doesn’t start until the 13th
thing 2
happy two days to move in day!
thing 1
yesss two days until you get the best roommate ever!
*whispering* that’s me 🤭
kazzle dazzle capitalist
we’ll see about that.
thing 1
stfu ur not allowed to talk
kazzle dazzle capitalist
*you’re
also:
🖕
van sunshine
what did i miss
thing 2
OMG HI WYLAN
LOML
BEST BF
GINGER PRINCE
knife wife
…
ginger prince?
bi wife energy
What
thing 2
dont question me ok 😤
van sunshine
no i have questions too
thing 2
ANYWAYS
basically kaz and nina are still acting like they’re in the enemies part of their enemies-to-besties arc
van sunshine
ok cool continue
kazzle dazzle capitalist
asshole.
thing 1
bitch baby
kazzle dazzle capitalist
have I ever told you that you remind me of jake gyllenhaal?
because you do.
thing 1
WHAT
knife wife
The red stans are fighting 👀
thing 2
lemme just grab popcorn real quick
thing 1
ISTG BREKKER IF YOU DONT TAKE THAT BACK ILL MAKE MATTHIAS FIGHT YOU
van sunshine
would he even do that?
bi wife energy
Yes I would.
thing 2
oop-
kazzle dazzle capitalist
lets go outside then.
did I tell you my cane is perfectly weighted for breaking bones?
van sunshine
im sorry
w h a t
thing 2
has been since high school
knife wife
remind me why it’s a good idea for us all to live together?
thing 1
bc we’re all platonic soulmates, AND we have three sets of the other kind too! If we don’t live together it’s like fighting fate!
we can’t ignore mother! don’t deny the invisible string inej!
knife wife
…
there’s only two couples out of the six of us
thing 1
lmao my b
typo
thing 2
wylan and me call dibs on whatever bedroom has an ensuite bathroom
kazzle dazzle capitalist
there isn’t one.
there’s one full bathroom and one half.
thing 1
so you’re saying I have to share a bathroom.
with everyone else.
kazzle dazzle capitalist
yes.
bi wife energy
Oh no
thing 2
how do u even know that we haven’t been there yet
kazzle dazzle capitalist
Inej told me.
thing 2
ok then hpw do you know
knife wife
zillow is a wonderful place
thing 1
…do we want to know how much you’ve used it to stalk ppl
knife wife
no 💛
kanej nation
stan 1, stan 2, stan 3, stan 4
Aug 11, 10:37 am
stan 2
neens going in for the kill!
stan 1
thank you, thank you, please hold your applause!
stan 3
it was kinda undermined by your immediate retreat tho
stan 1
wylan, how could you betray your own mother like this?
stan 3
not another disappointed parent!
stan 2
😳
stan 1
i-
stan 2
babe-
stan 4
Don’t worry Wylan, I’m actually your real father and I’m always proud of you
stan 3
thanks dad!
stan 4
:)
stan 1
like I was ABOUT to say before wylan gagged the chat, we can’t just throw them into the deep end
if they get overwhelmed then they’ll never talk about their feelings, and then they’ll never get together, and then I’ll be sad bc they’ll be sad, and then the three of you’ll be sad and it’ll all be over 😭
stan 4
Alright then love
stan 2
they’re going to be living together for an entire year
if theyre gonna get together at any point it’s gonna be this year!
actual criminals
Kaz & Inej
Aug 11, 9:17 pm
Inej
are you going to be ok on the second floor?
Kaz
I should be fine as long as I don’t have to climb a ton of stairs.
thanks!
Inej
ok great! just wanted to check
Kaz
cool.
:)
Inej
:)
Gn kaz!
Kaz
good night