Work Text:
In a small apartment in Shanghai, lies a mousy-looking man reading something very intently on his laptop. He’s lying on his bed, hunched over in a way that surely isn’t good for his back with only the light from the screen to illuminate him. There’s a manic smile on his face that only grows when he laughs enthusiastically at the image on his screen.
—————
PeerlessCucumber:
This is quite possibly the worst piece of literature I've ever laid my eyes upon after seeing this ending I actually wish that you would get thrown in a garbage disposal and get chopped into tiny little pieces to send to all the readers of this horrible stain you have inflicted upon the world. There are plot holes in this horrid collection of characters large enough to rival the Mariana Trench. Binghe’s outrageously extensive harem literally has unnamed characters. What’s the name of wife #467? Who knows! If there is a God above he will not forgive you for this disgrace to the Chinese language and you shou… Read More
luobinghesleftfoot69:
dude chill
—————
The man wastes no time after skimming the harsh dissertation, immediately typing his response. He’s come to love this part of his day. Almost more than payday, really. Moments after posting the latest chapter, he knows his most avid supporter is working on a novel in his comment section and he anticipates it every time. His most favorite reader had been there since the start. His comments had been less wordy back then, but still just as scathing. At first, he'd felt a bit offended at this, so naturally he did what any rational person would do; He flirted with him. He sorta just started to respond to every critique from him like that. His responses were just so cute ok? If flirting with prettyboys was illegal then sue him. Maybe this author has a psychological defect because he feels strangely giddy when he reads it. The amount of care put into tearing apart his life's work is kind of titillating? In a way? He hasn't been able to afford his meds after insurance stopped covering them, so maybe that's why.
Anyway, for all this internal monologuing, his response was actually quite short.
—————
AirplaneShootingTowardstheSky:
you wanna kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid
—————
He can already hear the clacking of his most precious reader's keys as he angrily responds. He wonders how he feels whenever he reads his replies. His pretty face probably scrunches up in a cute way. The author imagines him to have an unapproachable beauty like an ice king. Someone who would gladly crush you under their heel. He imagines his face contorting with fiery anger when he reads his reviews.
Maybe if they'd met in person he could actually see it. Maybe he'd let him complain about the novel over dinner. Maybe he'd let him come back to his room and-
He stops daydreaming for a moment to realize it's been a couple of minutes and no reply. No biggie. He's probably just busy. Maybe he decided to stop fully dedicating his life to exacting revenge on him.
He uses this reprieve to make a cup of lamian. His little Binghe noodle stopper sits very badassly on his cup. After a while, he digs in, not failing to notice his conversation partner had still been silent. He was a little worried. Not too much though, after all, he doesn't know this guy. His reply is probably just really long this time.
He sets his cup next to his shitty laptop, and in what can only be described as a series of comically unfortunate and idiotic events, ends up spilling his cup lamian on his shitty laptop and electrocuting himself.
—————
Shang Qinghua is a normal, well-adjusted guy. Well, as well as you can be after reincarnating into your own novel as a character who's going to die. But, that's beside the point.
The point being even though he occasionally thinks of his fantasy prettyboy who reads his novels and degrades him sometimes, he thinks he has fairly good romantic tastes.
He's had his fair share of crushes here and there. Hell, he'd even gone on a couple dates before. He didn't click with anyone though. Despite the numerous pretty faces around him, no one seemed to catch his eye. At least, no one in his league.
Which is why it surprised him when Shen Qingqiu, Xiu Ya sword, Peak lord of Qing Jing, hands down the prettiest man he’d ever seen, started to take an interest in him. It started with occasional suspicious glances, which then escalated to full-on Shen Qingqiu glares. This surprised him because 1. He's pretty sure Shen Qingqiu didn't even know his name considering he'd only spoken at most two words with him prior and 2. He didn't do anything wrong?? Well, he is colluding with demons, but how would Shen Qingqiu know! He's barely spoken to the man! It doesn't help that every time he glares at him he gets flustered and in turn looks MORE suspicious.
Why is the scum villain looking at him like that?! Why is it kind of sexy?!
Shang Qinghua decides the best course of action is to ignore it.
Shang Qinghua receives a request to have dinner with the Peak lord of Qing Jing. He is not prepared for this. Sure the ruthless cold beauty type definitely does something to him but he’s not ready to die again!
He calms himself out of at least three panic attacks before arriving at Qing Jing, hoping that somehow, Shen Qingqiu is just gonna ask for more calligraphy pens or something.
—————
Shen Yuan is a twenty two year old currently living in an apartment paid for by his parents. He’s unemployed and spends most of his time reading fantasy web novels and subsequently trashing them on forums.
His latest unemployed endeavor is Proud Immortal Demon Way, a horrible xianxia male power fantasy novel so bad it threatens to give him stress ulcers every time it updates. His degree in Literature is put to good use when he writes multiple pages worth of dissertations in the comment section under the update. They’re fairly mean but Shen Yuan thinks his criticisms are valid and should be taken into consideration (They never will). The most he gets is sarcastic responses from that bastard of an author usually with some flirty remark. It brings him endless rage that the author acknowledges his efforts yet refuses to improve.
He feels a strange sort of pride that he is the only person the author is seen publicly interacting with. Their strange relationship has garnered some attention and Shen Yuan has even seen some… risque fanfiction written about them. Shen Yuan, of course, thoroughly graced these works with his literary prowess.
Shen Yuan is a devoted PIDW anti. To a fault, really. He has notifications on and diligently reads everything the author puts out. Even his flirting replies. It’s for academic integrity ok? What if he replies with something other than shameless flirting someday?
True to his status as a disciple of PIDW haterism, Shen Yuan is engaged in another heated battle between himself and the cursed author. After having just finished his thesis on why Binghe reviving wife #613 through ghost sex is unscientific and insulting to his eyes, he leans back in his limited edition Luo Binghe gaming chair and reaches for a pork bun that had been lying on his desk for some time. He unwraps it and starts eating, soon after he gets the notification that someone replied to his comment. After reading the author's reply, Shen Yuan turns red with what can only be righteous anger and starts hurriedly composing his reply. Unfortunately, in his haste, Shen Yuan ends up choking on the pork bun he forgot to swallow.
—————
Shen Qingqiu is a forty-something year old who is the Peak Lord of Qing Jing. Not much about his backstory is stated in PIDW, but that doesn’t matter since Shen Yuan is now Shen Qingqiu.
Shen Yuan curses whatever God bestowed this fate upon him because clearly, they have some sort of vendetta against this jobless NEET. Well, whatever. Shen Yuan has already died once, who cares if he’s gonna die again, at least he has a couple years of living in luxury and being a powerful cultivator! Plus, maybe he can change his fate by clinging on to the protagonist's thighs. Shen Yuan quickly befriends the cute little protagonist and begins his life as the scum villain.
Shen Qingqiu thinks he’s sort of getting the hang of this. He’s doing pretty well for a guy who randomly got dropped into the peak lord right after dying. Sure he still gets weird looks sometimes, but give him a break! He’s still adjusting! The other peak lords at least don’t seem like they’re going to kill him for being a fake any time soon, so that's good. Overall, things are going pretty well!
That is until one day on a visit to An Ding peak to humbly request (i.e. beg) the peak lord for more wooden swords after the latest batch had already been demolished in yet another fight with Bai Zhan disciples. He’d already chewed Liu Qingge out once more, so he headed to the peak lord’s office impromptu. Just before entering, he heard a muffled voice. Not wanting to interrupt, he waited a few moments. The muffled voice became more clear, and Shen Yuan recognized it as a pop song he used to hear on the radio. The An Ding Peak lord was singing an English song??
“I never wanna hear you sayyy I want it that way~.”
Shen Qingqiu took a moment to process this before calmly entering and requesting the wooden swords. This mousy man who he doesn’t remember speaking to before slightly cowered at him. Is Shang Qinghua, the Cang Qiong traitor, a transmigrator?
Shen Qingqiu has taken to investigating. Most of this involved observing the man and seeing if he can catch any more slips. He’s a pretty good investigator if you ask him. No one suspects a thing.
Eventually, he just decides to invite the man over and subtly probe him to confirm. He has Binghe prepare them something, because who wouldn’t want the protagonists cooking, and sends Ming Fan off to deliver the message.
—————
“So you’re a fan of my work?”
Shang Qinghua asks nervously. Shen Qingqiu raises an eyebrow, very in character might he add.
“A fan of your work? You’re the author of this trash fire?”
Shang Qinghua shrivels a bit more.
“An anti-fan then?”
Shen Qingqiu looks a bit offended to be referred to as an anti-fan.
“Your novel is easily the worst thing I’ve ever read. Binghe is put into wife plot after wife plot with the stupidest justifications! Why did Qin Wanrong jump into the volcano ‘just to see if Binghe would catch her’ that’s absurd!! And another thing!”
Shang Qinghua kinda stops listening after this point. He does keep staring at Shen Qingqiu though, who can blame him? He’ll take this chance to stare at this once-in-a-lifetime beauty thank you very much. Speaking of bitchy prettyboys this transmigrator kind of reminds him of someone.
“Peerless cucumber!”
Shang Qinghua points at him. Shen Qingqiu stops his rant looking awestruck.
“You’re PeerlessCucumber! I remember you! No one else is so detailed in their rants! Your replies were always so cute!”
Shen Qingqiu looks affronted.
“C-cute?! You remember me?”
He says that last part a little quieter.
“You were always my favorite reader! No one notices details like you do. You must’ve written more than I have haha.”
Shang Qinghua looks a little smug.
“You deny it but I know I’m your favorite author too~. You wouldn’t have read all of PIDW if I wasn't.”
Shen Qingqiu reignites his long-held anger and continues his verbal dress down until their protagonist brings in their heavenly meal. Shen Qingqiu thanks him warmly and Luo Binghe beams at him. Shen Qingqiu doesn’t catch Binghe’s startling glare at his shishu. Shang Qinghua feels a shiver down his spine.
“Hey Cucumber bro, how did you tame the protagonist?”
“Tame? He’s a sweet little white lotus, all I did was stop bullying him.”
Shen Qingqiu’s starry eyes when gushing about his protagonist doesn’t stop Shang Qinghua’s look of pity. He’s only that way toward you Cucumber bro…
—————
Shang Qinghua has been coming over to the bamboo house more often. It’s nice to have another transmigrator around, he’d never think he’d get to talk about Transformers lore again. They've become pretty close recently, enough that even the protagonist noticed and made a vaguely threatening remark that went over Cucumber bro's head. Shen Qingqiu is also just really fun to tease.
"Ironic that you ended up as Shen Qingqiu. I actually based his later scenes off of you."
While what Shang Qinghua was saying was true, he purposely said this to incite him. His angry face was very cute now that he knows he was not going to murder him. In the traditional sense at least.
As predicted Shen Qingqiu does not take this well.
"Me the scum villain?! I gave you well-needed critique. I didn't murder your entire family!"
"Ahh don't be so mad Cucumber bro!"
He pats him on the shoulder in the way he knows he hates.
"Shen Qingqiu was always my favorite. His cold beauty and tragic backstory made him so compelling. I wrote him as one of the most handsome men in PIDW, second to the stallion protagonist, of course. His chiseled cheekbones and sharp eyes made him the perfect sexy villain! I had so many plans for him! Really you should be honored. Your comments inspired my favorite character~."
Shang Qinghua strategically left out how he would fantasize about the peak lord scolding him like Peerless Cucumber did.
Shen Qingqiu carefully avoided thinking about how he was now the "cold beauty" Shang Qinghua mentioned and the implications.
"You never wrote about his tragic backstory! He never gets any development beyond being a one-dimensional villain who tortures children for fun! You hack author! I can't believe you based him off me!"
Shen Qingqiu moved over to him just so he'd be within smacking distance. Shang Qinghua raised his hands in defense. Shen Qingqiu brandished his chosen weapon: a fan.
"How could I not base my beloved villain off my most devoted nemesis? And to be fair your comments do kind of sound like villain monologues."
He earns a couple more fan smacks for that one. Shang Qinghua slaps the fan out of his grasp and Cucumber bro's face scrunches up in that way when he rants about another sex pollen chapter.
Shang Qinghua's wrists end up pinned to the floor by Shen Qingqiu.
"At least take me out to dinner first."
Luo Binghe chose the worst possible moment to intervene and entered the room with some tea and a strained smile on his face.
"Shizun, I brought you and... Shang-shishu some refreshments. Is everything okay?"
Shen Qingqiu took a break from cosplaying a tomato and trying to physically slap the smugness off his face to look a bit ashamed of himself. He disentangled himself from Shang Qinghua.
"Ah, yes Binghe we're alright. This master is sorry for disturbing you."
Luo Binghe set the tea down on the table and leveled Shang Qinghua with another glare. It kinda loses its sting after his basically his default expression around him. It still hurts to be rejected by his own son though.
—————
Shang Qinghua decided his son’s food wasn't worth gaining the protagonists’ ire, so his meetings with Shen Qingqiu were usually done when Binghe wasn’t there or at his peak.
“Do you really live like this?”
Shen Qingqiu looked around his messy office with thinly veiled disgust. Shang Qinghua rolled his eyes.
“Not everyone gets to sit around playing the guqin and looking pretty.”
Shen Qingqiu grumbles at that and Shang Qinghua can see his embarrassment written on his face.
"It wouldn't kill you to organize. Do you actually sleep here?"
Shang Qinghua ignores the snide comment.
“What, do you want me to invite you too?”
Shang Qinghua does that stupid thing where he wiggles his eyebrows. Shen Qingqiu ignores him.
“You should really stop working so hard.”
Shang Qinghua cooes at him.
“Aww bro you care about me-”
He aborts his sentence due to the cushion that just hit him square in the face.
—————
The next time Shen Qingqiu convinced him to come over to the bamboo house, they end up talking for way longer than expected so he invites him to stay over. This, of course, is against the protests of the protagonist, but what's he gonna do? He's like fifteen.
Surprisingly, Cucumber bro doesn’t make him sleep on the floor or something and actually invites him into his bed. He decides to be respectful and only makes one innuendo that night.
“Inviting me to your bed like this, so improper, Peak Lord Shen!”
Shen Qingqiu doesn’t have his fan so he just swats at him like a kitten.
“Shut up. You’d never get any sleep if I didn’t drag you here anyways.”
Shang Qinghua smiles, looking pleased.
“My favorite fan is worried about me~!”
Shen Qingqiu looks away like a grumpy kitten.
“You always say that, but am I actually your favorite fan?”
His ears are adorable red as he says this, but unfortunately, Shang Qinghua can’t see his face as he’s facing away from him. He decides to reward him with a real answer this time.
“Yea pretty much. No one was as dedicated as you were. I sort of looked forward to your rants because I knew you’d read my chapter as soon as it came out. I felt like I mattered kinda. Like there was always someone waiting for me.”
Shen Qingqiu stays silent for a moment. Shang Qinghua feels a bit vulnerable. Please say something Cucumber bro! He’s feeling self-conscious!
“For a while, PIDW was all I had, y’know? It’s kind of dumb, but the days where I could barely get out of bed, I’d just sit there reading the latest chapter.”
Shang Qinghua loves this man. If every word he wrote was read by Shen Qingqiu, he’d write a million more. He tears up a little, so he turns away from him to salvage his pride.
“Thank you. For always being there, I mean.”
When Shen Qingqiu wraps his arms around him, Shang Qinghua lays his head on his shoulder and only cries a little bit. A manly amount, for sure. Shen Qingqiu has the softest look on his face right now.
“Let’s head to bed, okay?”
He leads them to his bed later and they both get under the covers. It’s soft and warm and smells like Shen Qingqiu. He tentatively lays an arm around him, and when he receives no protest, proceeds to shuffle a bit closer to him.
“Cucumber bro?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m glad you’re here.”
“Me too.”
—————
Luo Binghe had been secretly eavesdropping on his shizun and shishu outside their door, but only to protect shizun’s naivete from any lecherous advances! He wanted to make sure Shang-shishu was an honorable man if he was going to court his shizun!
He feels a bit bad for spying on such an intimate moment between them, but he had to be sure! Any potential marriage candidate had to be vetted by him so no one takes advantage of his pure shizun! He even got Ning Yingying to try and dig up dirt on the man, but even she found nothing, other than him being a little strange.
“Shang-shishu!”
Luo Binghe approaches his shishu in one of the rare moments when he’s not working or with his shizun. Shang Qinghua looks a little put off by this. The protagonist? Coming to see him? His son is always glaring at him so this cant be anything good.
“Ah, yes Luo-shizhi?”
Luo Binghe looks a bit guilty. He resolutely looks at the ground.
“You better treat shizun right, okay?! I won't forgive you if you don’t!”
Shang Qinghua is shocked by this. Is this the protagonist’s way of shovel-talking him? It’s a little funny for this kid to be telling him this, a little less funny when it's the demon lord protagonist. This is kind of awkward...
“I will, Luo-shizhi…”
Shang Qinghua feels like he’s meeting the in-laws right now.
“Good! Don’t forget that shizun likes his tea with a lot of sugar. And only steep it for four minutes! And he likes to read bad romance novels that he keeps secret! He likes the sun but he doesn’t like the rain, and his favorite color is green. He likes meat buns but not the ones with pork! And make sure he’s eating properly because he won’t if no one asks him and-”
It’s a long time before Shang Qinghua feels like he’s allowed to leave.
—————
Peak Lord Shen and Peak Lord Shang are seen walking together around Cang Qiong, immersed in what must be an intellectually riveting discussion.
"I'm telling you wife #567 wouldn't have been willing to die for Luo Binghe just by holding his hand! No matter how handsome he is!"
Shang Qinghua looks way too smug holding his hand out.
"Wanna test that theory?"
Shen Qingqiu angrily huffs but takes his hand anyway. It’s for research purposes!
“I’m not feeling any compulsion to take a bullet for you bro.”
Shen Qingqiu looks like he just won a petty argument on some forum. He doesn’t let go of his hand until they reach his peak.
“You wound me Cucumber bro~.”
Shang Qinghua grasps his chest for dramatic effect. This earns a snicker from Shen Qingqiu, one that he savors as one of the few moments he’s seen the man’s mask slip in public.
—————
"Why do we have to wear like seven layers? It's too hot out for this shit. Fuck xianxia modesty standards."
Shen Qingqiu begins taking off his outermost robes in annoyance once they are within the safety of his office. They both settle at the table they usually use for their hangouts.
Shang Qinghua was technically raised with these modesty standards and is unused to seeing people with less than at least three robes. He's not complaining, though Cucumber bro is right and he's hot so win-win.
After a bit of heated conversation and flirty remarks, Shang Qinghua suggests bringing out the bottles of baijiu he has saved.
"Don't you have classes tomorrow?"
"For the record, I don't. Is big strong Cucumber bro afraid of a little booze?"
Shang Qinghua, expert Cucumber agitator, goads Shen Qingqiu into drinking with him. As expected, they get absolutely smashed.
“Look look- describing Mobei-jun's abs was important for the plot!”
Shang Qinghua is slurring his words, basically falling over Shen Qingqiu right now. Shen Qingqiu barely minds, of course, he’s in the same situation. He cups Shang Qinghua’s face on either side with what looks like a childish pout on his face.
“Why didn’t you stick with the original outline? It could’ve been so good.”
He says that last part whining and pouts even more.
“Bro I was living off like. Ramen packets. For breakfast lunch and dinner.”
Shen Qingqiu hums disapprovingly at that.
“I would’ve bought a gazillion Luo Binghe bodypillows if it meant you could write what you wanted to. I liked it when you did that.”
He mumbles a bit on that last part. His face is only six inches away from his, so he hears it regardless. Shang Qinghua looks up at him with wonder in his hazy eyes.
“Bro..”
Shen Qingqiu is already passed out on his shoulder, and Shang Qinghua follows shortly after.
—————
The An Ding Peak disciples have an unspoken rule amongst them: Don’t speak about Shen-shishu’s frequent visits to shizun. They are obviously in a secret relationship and don't want anyone to know about their affair. This, of course, doesn’t stop them from gossiping.
Peak Lord Shang Qinghua has a secret dual cultivation partner. His illicit lover is said to be fellow Peak Lord Shen Qingqiu. They have private rendezvous where they engage in shameless activities. How scandalous! At least, that’s what the rumors say.
These rumors started when an An Ding disciple, Yang Haoyu, entered his shizun’s office to deliver some reports late. What greeted him was his shizun and shishu passed out in a compromising position with empty bottles of baijiu surrounding them.
The disciple quickly left the room with a red face and told his fellow disciples what he saw. This led to rumors about their apparent illicit relationship which spiraled into winding dramatic tales of their forbidden love which made its way to other peaks. Some disciples have even taken to writing erotic material about the two and spreading it amongst each other. Peak Lords Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua’s tryst had become hot gossip in Cang Qiong. These rumors are only bolstered by sightings of them holding hands and how often Peak Lord Shang is seen visiting Peak Lord Shen.
"Yang Haoyu? Where are those reports I asked you for?"
The An Ding disciple faces his shizun with a red face and says he will have them soon. Shang Qinghua has been in a better mood lately, so he doesn't scold him like he usually would.
—————
Shen Qingqiu is sitting peacefully in his home, unaware of the rumors surrounding him when he hears a knock at his door.
“Shen-shidi?”
Shen Qingqiu heard Yue Qingyuan’s voice outside the bamboo house and let him in, surprised at his visit. Shen Qingqiu has Binghe prepare some tea while they get settled.
"Xiao Ji-"
Shen Qingqiu cringes at the nickname visibly, which seems to reach Yue Qingyuan as he abruptly stops speaking. He looks serious as he tries to gently confront the issue.
"There are some, ah.. rumors being spread recently."
Shen Qingqiu looks suspicious and narrows his eyes at him. That never means anything good.
“Rumors?”
Yue Qingyuan looks a bit hurt.
“Shen-shidi knows he can tell me anything, yes?”
Shen Qingqiu is even more suspicious now. What is this? An intervention??
“Get to the point Shixiong.”
Shen Qingqiu looks deadpan.
“Some of my disciples have informed me of some of your, activities, with Shang-shidi.”
Does he know about Mobei-jun? Shang Qinghua better not get him kicked out of the sect for this! He’s sweating bullets over here!
“What do you mean Zhangmen-shixiong?”
“I’ve discussed this with the other peak lords, and we approve of your relationship with Shang shidi.”
No. Fucking. Way. Dating?? Shang Qinghua???
Shen Qingqiu is a totally straight man! Sure Shang Qinghua is a charming funny guy, and he would certainly be interested if he was a woman, but he’s a man! He and Shang Qinghua are just very close bros ok! Nothing is stronger than the friendship between two straight men!
"We're not… together, Zhangmen-shixiong.”
Yue Qingyuan clearly thinks he’s lying, but he knows if he presses the issue, Shen Qingqiu will just get mad. He leaves shortly after some awkward conversation, and Shen Qingqiu is left dumbfounded at what just happened.
—————
Shen Qingqiu enters Shang Qinghua’s office like he normally does, with the exception of his flustered face and frazzled appearance.
“People think we’re together.”
Shang Qinghua stares at him in silence.
…
“Aren’t we?”
Shen Qingqiu looks more frazzled than he did when he entered.
“Wh- no?? We’re not!”
Shang Qinghua looks at him in disbelief. Is this guy serious right now?
“You’re not even gay! I’m not even gay!”
Shang Qinghua looks outright befuddled.
“Okay. Number one, I am gay. Number two, you cannot own that many Luo Binghe shirtless figures and legally be straight.”
Shen Qingqiu splutters for a moment before regaining his wits.
“I’m just a fan of the protagonist! That doesn’t make me gay!”
Shang Qinghua looks incredulous. Straight people don’t obsessively defend their blorbos honor on forums all day, Cucumber bro! They don’t have an actual shirtless bodypillow of them either! Straight people don’t gaze longingly into their best friends' eyes!
“Have you ever been attracted to a woman?” Before he can say anything he adds, “To a real woman?”
Shen Qingqiu has no response.
“Do you like it when we hold hands and cuddle?”
Shen Qingqiu has no response.
“Holy shit. Am I gay?!”
Shand Qinghua only levels a stare at him. Shen Qingqiu has to be the most closeted man on Earth.
“Y-you really think we’re dating?”
“Me and everyone else on Cang Qiong, bro.”
“I just thought we were really close friends! Just guys being dudes! Bromance!”
Shang Qinghua’s last threads of sanity fade away. He can’t believe he’s being friend zoned by his sort-of-I-guess-not-really-boyfriend right now.
“I love you.”
Shen Qingqiu pauses.
“I love you and I want to be with you. Not as friends or bros. I want to be your boyfriend. My favorite reader, most dedicated hater, my best friend, please go on a date with me.”
Shang Qinghua never thought he’d make a corny dramatic love confession, but here he is.
“I would be willing to try that… with you.”
Shen Qingqiu finds it impossible to look at his face right now. Shang Qinghua takes this opportunity to tilt his head towards him and look into his eyes. He’s beaming at him, one of the most genuine smiles Shen Qingqiu has seen on his face. Shen Qingqiu really wants to kiss this mousy man, so he does.
—————
Luo Binghe later approaches them in the evening with a determined look on his face.
"Shizun, I'll allow Shang shishu to have your hand in marriage!"
…
There is a long bout of silence between the three with Luo Binghe still looking resolute, Shen Qingqiu flabbergasted, and Shang Qinghua trying really, really hard not to laugh.
"Marriage??!"
Shang Qinghua looks highly amused. He doesn’t have enough self-control to not release a couple giggles.
“Oh Cucumber bro, the love of my life, will you be my wife until death do us part?”
Shen Qingqiu freezes up with what can only be described as a mix of embarrassment, bashfulness, and exasperation before he realizes something.
“Why am I the wife?!”
Shen Qingqiu smacks him a couple times with his fan. Shang Qinghua only laughs harder.