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Another year of Hogwarts had just begun. You were settling into your dorm again, reuniting with past acquaintances and teachers. The time flew right by you, and after many had finished their feast for the night they turned themselves into their quarters. You decided to bid those you chatted and dined with goodnight and decided to head to bed, as classes begin early.
Waking up had always been a hassle, you were never really a morning person. Nevertheless, you fixed yourself up, grabbed your supplies, and headed for your first class. Potions class was one you had mixed feelings about. You were interested in the subject, but the teacher was extremely harsh and too strict for your liking.
You entered and sat in your designated seat. While waiting for class to officially start, you decided to draw. You'd gotten quite far in your work, so far that you hadn't taken notice of all of the now-present students next to you giving their professor their utmost attention.
Professor Snape had noticed you hunched in your seat, focused on making intricate and fine lines on the paper in front of you. He hadn't expected to get so fed up this early from a student's ignorance.
“Diffindo!”
Was the last thing you heard before your precious artwork had been torn in two right before your very eyes. You snap out of your trance, looking up at your potion master who in return shoots you a scornful glance. He continues where he left off, as embarrassment and anger pool in your thoughts. Though upset, you still manage to get through the period. You were just about to collect your belongings when suddenly your professor asked you to stay after class. You simply sunk back into your seat, getting more agitated at the situation you were in.
When all of the students had left he spoke;“Regarding your behavior, I urge you to begin paying more attention,” he says in his usual monotonous, yet sharp tone. He had lectured you on your sudden down spiraling mood and behavior in his class before. He takes notice of every single student that's attended Hogwarts, hell he's memorized all’s first and last names, as well as their houses. He would notice if something was fairly off about a student, especially when it concerns their performance in his class.
"If all else fails, I urgently suggest that you pay a visit to the school’s guidance counselor, dismissed.” With that, you finally got your things and left just in time for lunch.
During your lunch period, you reflected on your professor's words. You talked to the guidance counselor regarding your mental health in the past. The result of your bottled-up emotions led you to begin some rather unhealthy coping mechanisms. Most conversations noted your depression, and your inability to pick up pieces that you didn't shatter yourself. This will all pass in due time, you think to yourself. In reality, you don't know when these feelings will subside, and you're certainly sure it's not anytime soon.
You returned to your small quarters which were surprisingly empty. A feeling of numbness overcame you. W.I.P
You then proceeded to grab your blade, the one you oh so adored during times of hurt. The many times it's pierced, and sliced through your soft and delicate skin. It
created beautiful red lines along your flesh, watching the crimson blood that spotted above the slit before dripping down your arms. The color of your skin and the bright redness of the blood contrasted nicely in a way that entranced you. You repeated this process, against old scars that hadn't even had time to heal yet. This is how you'd cope, it's the only way you could cope. After your time of self-loathing, you decided to start the cleanup process. You applied pressure to stop the excessive bleeding and used a healing cream from the muggle world before returning to your next-period class.
This repetitive cycle went on for months, getting worse during the colder months when wearing warmer clothing was expected. You fell deeper into your depression refusing most help offered, your grades even slipped dramatically making many raise an eyebrow considering how passionate and dedicated you were with your classes.
Suicidal ideation had started plaguing your thoughts too. And your destructive behavior had worsened along with it. Unbeknownst to you, your keen professor had been monitoring your behavior with everything else he noticed about your demeanor. He was no stranger to these struggles, so he thought he'd talk to you about it. After all, you were one of his top students, and when your mood and performance had dipped drastically low, and relatively quickly of course he became concerned.
So again, he asked you to stay after class. He was a bit angry considering he doesn't take lightly to those who fail to do well in his class, yet he decides to take a more tame approach to the situation at hand.
He sat directly in front of you, having turned a seat around to face your desk as he began to speak. “I understand you've been struggling with your health, and I notice you seem extremely different regarding these past few months.” He says in a still tone that has a hint of care, yet he remains his old self, very unmoving regardless of the circumstances. “I want you to talk to someone, you know I don't accept failure. If you just need someone who can listen I'll be here in the morning after breakfast as I prepare for class if you just need a place to calm yourself.”
You were honestly stunned, definitely not expecting that. It seemed a little out of character, but you supposed you could try it. Afterward, you took it upon yourself and began your mornings in Snape's class. You brought your breakfast there when you felt motivated to eat and tried not to make a mess which wouldn't matter considering you could use a simple spell to clean up after yourself.
You’d talked to him, sometimes, getting more comfortable each passing day through meaningful exchanges and interesting conversations. Sometimes you vented to him about how your day had gone or any issues that'd happened that day. He was a great listener, usually being patient with you and even offering advice. You swore these talks with him made him calmer during the day. Your talks proved beneficial to you both, as you felt that you had every resource you needed. An outlet, to finally reach out to, and communicate with.