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Jungkook takes another sip of his whiskey and the warmth courses through his blood, electric and alive and somehow soothing all at once. The heat of it adds to the slightly too warm feeling of the room around him, the skin under his collar.
Surrounding him there are people on all sides, pressed too close in the dim, familiar bar -- the same people he sees here every weekend, the same people he comes here with every weekend.
It's all so rote and familiar.
He loves it.
Maybe another person would be bored, but for Jungkook, this is the best. He lives for these nights, every Friday when he gets together with his friends, just like they did when they were in school together.
He loves his friends, he loves coming to their favorite bar, he loves laughing and joking with them about who's going to find someone to take home, and he loves often being the first one out the door with his mission accomplished.
After a hard week at work climbing social ladders and corporate ladders, he loves to let off a little steam, shed his clothes and his personas all at once -- just go a little primal for a while.
"You're quiet, Jungkook," Namjoon says, pulling Jungkook out of his thoughts, gently leading as comes so naturally to him.
Namjoon is like the alpha of alphas. It isn't that other alphas don't feel threatened by him -- many do -- but while leading comes naturally to him and he's strong and powerful and all that, there's also a quality to him that's so calming.
A lot of alphas don't get that, how being quietly in control can be even more powerful than throwing your weight around and speaking in a loud voice. Namjoon is the de facto leader of their little group and always has been, without ever needing to discuss it, because it just makes sense.
He is completely nonjudgmental, and for some reason, that's always felt to Jungkook like something that he needs in his life, something he just has to be around.
Jungkook is the youngest of their little group, and he feels so grateful every day that they'd taken him on, especially when he'd been a bumbling asshole so unsure of himself that he was as likely to get into a fight with someone new -- especially another alpha -- as he was to make friends with them.
"Everything okay?" Yoongi asks.
Yoongi, the other alpha in their group, is in some ways more the stereotypical type, and in others, the exact opposite of what someone would expect. He's quiet in a way that seems brooding until you get to know him and realize that, actually, he's just a bit grumpy and predisposed to falling deep into his own thoughts.
The reality is that he's one of the most caring people Jungkook has ever met -- caring and accepting, and when he loves you, he loves you unconditionally, which also means he isn't afraid to tell you when you're full of shit.
"I'm good," Jungkook says, giving his friends a carefully masculine nod, hiding his sappy thoughts less because it isn't the alpha way and more because he's always been shy about sharing his feelings, even when they are being bolstered by whiskey.
Yoongi nods, accepting his answer, and Jungkook tries to pay closer attention to what his friends are actually saying.
Hobi, a beta who has all the best qualities of both alphas and omegas and none of the hang-ups of either, is telling an animated story about something that happened to him at work during the week. Jungkook hasn't been paying enough attention to know what the story is about, but it must be good because Jin, another beta, is laughing his infectious laughter about it, occasionally even clapping as Hobi recounts the event.
It's only then that Jungkook realizes someone is missing. He looks around for Jimin, wondering if his best friend is off trying to get laid already -- preparing what he's going to say about how Jimin is cheating by sneaking off early -- when he spots the smaller man picking his way through the Friday night crowd with six shots clutched in his hands.
He slaps them all down on the table with a degree of enthusiasm that has some of the clear liquid sloshing out of the tiny glasses and onto the lacquered tabletop, but everyone is too excited to see free booze to care.
"Courtesy of the bartender," Jimin says with a lewd grin.
Jungkook rolls his eyes, but it's all in good humor. He takes his free shot anyway.
Jimin slides in next to him, his hand coming down on Jungkook's shoulder in an easy gesture of camaraderie that's heavier and stronger than seems likely given the size of the hand itself. He downs his own shot in one and slaps the empty glass back onto the table with a big smile.
Jimin is an omega, but it's only really obvious in the ways that he always wants to take care of the people he loves. He's a natural at nurturing, which is how Jungkook had gotten close with him in the first place.
When he'd arrived at university, years ago now, he'd been so obviously terrified that Jimin had swooped in like a superhero and taken him under his wing.
He'd introduced Jungkook to his friends, these people he's now closer to than anyone in the world, encouraged him to pursue his passions, and helped him break out of his shell.
In many ways, it had been Jimin who helped Jungkook find himself, helped him become the man and the alpha that he wants to be. Jimin had helped him pick out the good parts of what society wants from him, find the parts that match up with his own values, and have the confidence to leave the rest behind.
He doesn't know who he would be today if it weren't for Jimin, and he's grateful every day that Jimin had the strength and confidence in himself to be willing to waste his time on a bumbling baby Jungkook all those years ago.
In the time it's taken everyone to down their shots, Hobi has finished his story and the conversation, no doubt thanks to Jimin's implication about the bartender, has turned in the direction that it always inevitably turns.
Not that Jungkook minds. The version of himself he had been when Jimin met him in college would have minded everyone openly discussing their sex lives, the experiences they've racked up over the last week or two, but that was because that version of him had been a painfully shy barely-not-a-virgin who, more often than not, wouldn't have had anything to contribute.
The fact of the matter is that he, along with most of his friends, is more or less perpetually single. Probably that should tell them all something about themselves, but most of them just accept it as a fact of being busy with their jobs and having high standards as a direct result of how good they already have things with each other.
None of them feel the pressure to throw themselves into a relationship with someone who "completes" them, as the common messaging insists, because they already know they've got a whole group of people who will be there for them, supporting them, calling them out when they need to be called out and loving them when they need a bit of affection.
Honestly, a lot of the time Jungkook feels bad for other alphas, always chasing around omegas, begging for mates because they're so wrapped up in their toxic alpha hang-ups that it's the only way they can find to get a little bit of tenderness and affection in their lives.
It isn't that Jungkook doesn't want that eventually -- someone to share his life with. Actually he's pretty traditional in that respect. He's always dreamed of having that someday, a partner, a mate who he can wake up with in the morning and fall asleep with at night, maybe even someone to raise a family with eventually.
And he knows he's just as likely as anyone to fall into the stereotypes of alpha behavior. It's not like he isn't hot-tempered or brash or likely to step up into a leadership role when he feels like the situation calls for it (and he's very likely to feel that a situation calls for it). He knows his baser feelings get the better of him sometimes, just like they do with anyone.
It's just that he doesn't feel the same need to chase those things. He's fortunate to have the comfort and security of a strong, affectionate group around him. He knows he can count on them the way that most people can only count on their mate, so he's willing to take his time finding the right person to go there with. His friends seem to feel the same way.
So, in the meantime, while they all take their time, they also take advantage of the single lifestyle.
Which means that one of the most frequent topics of conversation on these Friday nights out is the hookups they've all had recently.
It had taken Jungkook a little while to feel genuinely comfortable sharing details like that, even with his best friends, but after enough nights spent listening to Hobi talking about taking someone home who he'd thought was another beta but turned out to be an omega wearing scent blockers, and Yoongi going into surprising detail about his hookups with a different omega every night, and Jimin telling them all in sometimes painful detail about what it's like to sleep with alphas, as the only omega in the group, Jungkook had eventually learned to loosen up a bit.
Now he brags about his exploits with the best of them, and in a lot of ways, these little Friday night gossip sessions have been great for his ego.
Namjoon is in the middle of talking about the omega he'd hooked up with the previous Saturday night -- Jungkook is hazy on the details because he's only half listening as his eyes roam around the room, picking out the regulars and the people he doesn't recognize -- when Jimin sighs and then groans when no one stops the conversation as a result of his sighing.
"What is it, Jimin-ah?" Namjoon asks.
"Every weekend I have to listen to all of you talk about banging omegas and how sweet they are and how good and blah blah blah. It's just boring. If you guys are happy, I'm happy for you, but I'd kill for a little variety in the storytelling."
Namjoon's brow furrows.
"We listen to you talk about your hookups too," Namjoon says. "But if there's anything else we can do to make things more --"
"If you say the word 'inclusive,' Namjoon-hyung, I swear on this tequila that I will walk straight out of this bar."
Jungkook doesn't bother to stifle his laugh.
Namjoon has the good grace to look sheepish and appropriately cowed, which is just another thing that's so cool about Namjoon. Not many alphas would be able to take getting scolded by an omega, in front of a bunch of friends and in a public place, without at least needing to tamp down their natural reaction to it, but none of that even seems to register for Namjoon.
"I don't want you to change how you talk," Jimin says. "I do the same thing. I love talking about this shit with you guys. I just want you to change..." he trails off, thinking, and it makes Jungkook wonder how long he's been thinking these thoughts, feeling this way, and not telling them about it.
"Change the way you hook up," Jimin says slowly, like he's thinking through the words as he's speaking them, "and then your stories will be more interesting."
"Jimin-ah," Yoongi says, and it's only not a whine because it's Yoongi saying it. "We've all had to listen to you describe what getting knotted feels like, I think you can handle us talking about our hookups."
The table collectively groans at the reminder of what it's like to sit through Jimin's hookup stories -- especially after he comes back from a couple days spent as someone's rut partner, which he does pretty often because, as he puts it, someday he'll only be one person's rut partner, forever, so he should enjoy himself and get around while he has the chance.
Privately, Jungkook doesn't mind those stories. It's no stranger to him to think of Jimin in those situations as it is to think of any of his other friends in a sexual context, and he'd be lying if he tried to claim that he doesn't sort of enjoy getting to hear what sex is like from the perspective of an omega.
In some ways, there's a lot of crossover in their experiences, but in others, they're completely different. He knows his friends don't always love hearing those details, but Jungkook finds it interesting, compelling -- even, if he's honest with himself, exciting.
Not that he'd ever admit it out loud. He's sure his friends wouldn't judge him, they may not even be surprised -- Jimin, he's sure, has his suspicions already, because it's hard for Jungkook to hide anything from Jimin -- but still.
He doesn't exactly talk about it, the way his heart rate picks up speed when Jimin talks about going home with some alpha, being pressed against the wall, tossed onto a bed, the way it feels to be shoved down into the mattress with an alpha pressed close behind him.
Usually by that point in the story, all their friends are groaning and playfully covering their ears, and Jungkook plays along, acts like he isn't waiting with bated breath to hear the rest.
It isn't that he's thinking of Jimin in those scenarios, Jimin himself all but disappears when Jungkook finds himself picturing what he describes.
It's something about the idea of being in that position that makes his heart pound that much harder. He figures it's something to do with it being a fundamentally different experience than his own, something to do with knowing what it feels like for the people he sleeps with, the way he makes them feel, though he thinks he's a little gentler than the alphas it sounds like Jimin prefers to go off with.
Still, he doesn't draw attention to how much he enjoys Jimin's retellings, since that seems to be the odd reaction in the group.
He notices that after what he'd last said, Jimin is watching him out of the corner of his eye, but Jungkook carefully doesn't look back at him, and neither of them is the next to speak.
"What do you want us to do," Jin says, "hook up with alphas?"
As a beta, it would be perfectly reasonable for Jin to do just that. Betas have the unique privilege of being able to sleep with anyone and no one would really bat an eye.
In general, they're sort of assumed to go for other betas, but that's more because of the presumed preferences of alphas and omegas than because anyone would be bothered by betas crossing into one pool or the other.
Jin and Hobi do tend to go for other betas and the occasional omega more than alphas though. Jungkook isn't entirely sure why, though he can guess.
As much as he hates to admit it, alphas do tend to be more stuck in their ways, more the type to cling to what they see as "traditional" dynamics -- in other words, more likely to insist on omegas for their own desires, whether because of their own preference or because they expect betas to be more likely to challenge them. It's gross, in Jungkook's opinion, but he would rather his friends be safe than sleep with people like that anyway.
All that said, though, there is an undeniable shift in the atmosphere around the table as Jin's words sink in and everyone begins to register what that would mean.
It would be one thing for Hobi and Jin to find alphas to hook up with, but it would be quite another for the rest of them. It isn't that it's never done, an alpha hooking up with another alpha, but it's definitely taboo. It raises eyebrows if anyone notices, and it's very rare for it to go beyond just sex anyway -- and even then, only for a one-off thing, usually as an experiment.
Just like this would be. It's the kind of thing people do just to try, just because it can be exciting to so thoroughly break out of the roles and expectations society has set for you.
Plus, if it's difficult for a beta to find a decent alpha to take home, it's exponentially more so for an alpha to find one.
But that's what would make it a challenge. And Jungkook -- Jungkook loves a challenge.
"Yeah," he hears himself saying, answering the question even before Jimin has a chance, before he himself has really thought it through. "Why not?"
" Yes !" Jimin says, with a suspicious degree of enthusiasm. "Everyone tries to hook up with an alpha in the next week, and we'll report back next Friday. Obviously don't force it, but give it a real effort. I'll know if you cop out."
No one questions how Jimin will know. It seems they all have trouble hiding things from him, especially when he really wants to know.
"First one wins," Jungkook adds, once again speaking without thinking, letting his more primal brain run away with him.
It works as well on the other alphas in the group as the idea works on him. Suddenly this isn't just an experiment or a personal challenge, it's a competition, and both Namjoon's and Yoongi's eyes flash over to him as the idea registers, lodging itself in their minds as an opportunity to win . It doesn't matter that there's nothing on the line, no prize on the table to claim -- the concept of winning is enough to immediately have them more invested.
Jimin understands immediately and snickers, but that draws everyone's attention back to him.
"Hang on," Yoongi says. "What's the point if Jimin's doing the same thing? It's not like he's going to have any trouble finding an alpha to fuck."
"Fine," Jimin says with a smirk and an unconcerned shrug of his shoulder. "I'll hook up with an omega then. Alphas for the rest of you."
It isn't entirely a fair trade, and everyone at the table knows it. There are, of course, some very particular omegas out there -- omegas who won't hook up with anyone but alphas, just like there are alphas who won't sleep with anyone other than an omega -- but generally speaking, they're more willing to think outside the box with these things.
Jimin has slept with omegas before, and right out the gate, his chances of success are a lot better, but there isn't really a way to make it any more fair than this, so they all accept his offer, if grudgingly.
There's no doubt about it: the alphas in the group are the ones who really have their work cut out for them. And Jungkook isn't exactly confident, for all that he had jumped on the idea immediately -- had been its one true champion really, even more than Jimin.
The thing is, he doesn't know what his chances are of success, but he already has someone in mind.
He carefully waits for the conversation to move on from their new challenge, and then he lets his eyes roam around the room again. They find the person he's looking for almost immediately, effortlessly, because they're so used to seeking him out.
Every weekend for the last several months, Jungkook's eyes have been drawn, again and again, to the same man on the other side of the bar: Kim Taehyung, easily the most beautiful person Jungkook has ever seen with his own eyes.
His features are bold but elegant, and he moves in a way that's confident but graceful. His mannerisms are at times strong and mannish, at others soft and feminine in a way that makes Jungkook's blood sing in his veins.
Just looking at him is enough to see the complexities beneath the surface, the many ways he seems to contradict himself from one moment to the next, making Jungkook want nothing more than to learn the nuances of him, understand what exactly makes him tick, what he's like beneath the surface he projects to all the patrons of the bar.
Jungkook remembers the first time he'd seen Taehyung. He'd known he must be new because Jungkook was sure he would have noticed him immediately if he had ever been in the bar before.
It proved true when none of the other regulars could tell him anything about the man, whether he was visiting or if he'd just moved to the neighborhood -- not even his name. Jungkook had only found that out later, after Taehyung had been around for a couple weeks and people were starting to know him.
He had thought, immediately, that Taehyung must be an omega, because Jungkook had such a visceral response to him that he'd assumed it was caused by some invisible force, some hormonal reaction.
Then as some time passed and he observed Taehyung more, always from a distance as he worked up his nerve to approach him, he became less sure.
He still thought -- hoped, he knows now -- that Taehyung might be an omega. There was that softness to him, a delicate way about him that made him seem almost fragile at times.
Then he thought that maybe he was a beta, and that was why he seemed to have such conflicting traits. Well, Jungkook wasn't going to let that stop him, and he had finally been about ready to make his move when he'd learned the truth.
Someone who had spoken with Taehyung before and knew Jungkook had been asking about him eventually mentioned it.
To say Jungkook had been gutted would be an understatement. He had actually felt the prick of frustrated tears, not that he would ever admit it to anyone. He wouldn't even let himself accept it at first, not until he happened to pass Taehyung closely while ordering a round at the bar, and for the first time he'd been close enough to smell him.
The elegantly woodsy scent of him, all subtle fog and bold pine, had been devastating and perfect and unavoidably alpha .
He'd known that it meant he couldn't go for Taehyung. There was no question in his mind, even as the weeks turned into months, and he still couldn't tear his eyes away, and Taehyung still radiated all of those sweet, perfect traits that made him seem so soft and pretty and tempting.
Alphas were just off-limits to other alphas, even if he could practically hear Jimin's voice in his head trying to goad him into going for it.
He'd never told Jimin, he'd never told anyone, at first because he had been so invested that the fear of rejection kept him from ever admitting his instant attraction aloud, and then because he knew the truth. Still, he felt like he knew exactly what Jimin would say.
If you want him, just go for it. What's the worst that could happen?
But the worst had always seemed like too much of a risk. The worst had always meant putting himself, the vulnerable heart he's spent his whole life trying to hide and protect, on the line.
Until now. Now there's a reason beyond his own infatuation. Now there's something compelling him beyond just the fact that he's never wanted anyone the way he's spent the last several months wanting Kim Taehyung. Now there's an incentive outside his own traitorous chemistry.
Now there's an excuse.
#
It takes all of the willpower Jungkook possesses to make himself stay at the table with his friends for the rest of the night. Knowing that he has the excuse he needs to finally push him through his inhibitions and talk to Taehyung makes him want to get up from the table, leave his friends behind, and throw himself into the task at hand.
He feels as though his friends have let him off a leash none of them even knew he'd been on.
Still, though, he doesn't want to let anyone know just how excited he is about this. He doesn't need them knowing that he's got someone in mind already, that he's been thinking about another alpha for months.
He sits at the table and he drinks his whiskey, and if his eyes find their way back to Taehyung even more often than usual, it's okay, no one notices, he's just one quiet voice in the constant ebb and flow of raucous laughter and exuberant storytelling. He doesn't talk as much as the others most of the time anyway, so no one notices that he's a bit distracted.
The truth is, now that he knows he's going to make a move, he can hardly tear his eyes away. It's easy now to see the things about Taehyung that are so alpha it's hard to imagine how he ever missed it.
He comes to the bar almost every weekend -- Jungkook finds himself embarrassingly disappointed when Taehyung doesn't show up -- sometimes alone and sometimes with groups of people. Jungkook has seen some of his friends enough to recognize them, but Taehyung has a lot of friends and he shows up with different groups all the time.
Jungkook doesn't know much about most of them, but from what he's been able to tell, they're even more mixed than his own group of friends.
Taehyung hangs out with everyone, it seems, no matter their status, and his role in every group seems to morph and change depending on who he's with. Sometimes he's like the baby, coddled and adored and doted on, and seeing that makes Jungkook feel a soft, pillowy sort of longing at the same time that he bristles with entirely unearned jealousy.
Other times Taehyung falls easily into a leadership role, and Jungkook will watch from across the room as he calmly doles out orders that the people around him willingly obey, or he'll hear snatches of a deep voice explaining something, with all the confidence of someone born to be sure of themselves.
In those moments, Jungkook feels a chill shiver race down his spine that he can't, or won't, explain to himself and he puts it out of his mind.
The conversation moves on quickly once the terms of the challenge are set, but Jungkook doesn't move on. He wants to get up right away and go straight to Taehyung now, but on top of not wanting to seem overeager in front of his friends, he doesn't know what to say.
He makes himself sit and have a normal Friday night, but the next night he's back at the bar.
He does this sometimes, returns to the familiarity and comfort of this particular place on Saturday nights by himself, even though he's there every Friday. It's comfortable and homey, but always busy enough that he can find people to talk to if he wants to talk and to go home with if he wants to go home.
Plus he knows that this is where Taehyung is, more often than not.
Jungkook spots him right away and is overcome with a wave of nerves that reminds him of being young and new, not just to the city but to the whole world, it had felt like.
He hadn't known anything then, and despite the years' worth of experience he has under his belt now, he feels just as unsure and small and scared, knowing that he's about to approach an alpha -- and not just any alpha, but Kim Taehyung, who he's been unable to tear his eyes away from for months.
It feels like more than just a hookup and he hasn't even said hello yet.
But he has to start somewhere, and he knows that there will never be a better opportunity than this one. Taehyung doesn't seem like an asshole at least.
Even if he has no interest in alphas, which he probably doesn't, Jungkook doesn't think he'll be a dick about it. He clearly hangs out and is good friends with all sorts of people, which means that he must be at least fairly open-minded.
Besides, at the end of the day, Jungkook knows he can't pass up the chance to have Taehyung in his home, in his bed, pressed down into his mattress or against his wall -- no matter how slim that chance may be.
If he's learned anything over the past few years, it's how to fake confidence even in the moments when he doesn't feel it, so he walks up to the bar, orders himself a shot and a whiskey on the rocks, knocks back the shot, and then goes in search of Taehyung with the whiskey held in his hand, offering him some liquid courage. He just hopes Taehyung isn't surrounded by friends tonight.
Getting rejected is bad enough under the best circumstances. Getting rejected in front of a whole bunch of people he doesn't know -- in his favorite bar, no less, where everyone will talk about it -- is a whole different story.
Unfortunately for him, when he spots Taehyung he's surrounded by perhaps the largest group Jungkook has seen clinging to him yet. He's in a booth, but it's quickly clear that his party is actually his own booth and the one beside it.
It also only takes Jungkook a moment to realize that, while Taehyung effortlessly draws attention, he isn't actually the focus of the group tonight. It seems to be someone's birthday or some sort of celebration.
So, he lingers. He gets himself a drink from the bar, finds a quiet table where he can keep Taehyung in sight, and then chats with the people who happen to be near him so that he doesn't look too much like a creep as he does his best to keep his eye on Taehyung.
Taehyung looks so handsome tonight, it's clear that he's put in effort to look good for his friend. He's dressed in his usual simple but elegant, timeless style, with well-fitted slacks and a buttoned shirt that has no right looking as soft as it does. The sleeves are rolled up to his elbows and the first couple of buttons are undone.
It's a masculine style, like his features are strong and masculine, and yet somehow it looks soft and pretty on him. It draws attention to the fine bones of his wrists and hands, the graceful sweep and movement of his long fingers, the lovely shapes that make up his face.
At one point, he excuses himself from the table, and Jungkook feels his entire body tense. This is his chance. He squeezes his glass a little tighter and is about to stand up to follow when Taehyung turns to head toward the bathroom.
Jungkook stops before he even starts. He doesn't know exactly why he stops, but he does. He's not above hitting on someone in or near the bathroom. Sometimes, especially at a bar or club, it's the only place quiet enough.
But this is Taehyung -- and beyond just being another alpha, Taehyung is special. Taehyung is someone Jungkook has had his eye on for a long time. Taehyung is someone Jungkook just doesn't want to come onto in the bathroom.
So he settles back into his seat and he goes on waiting. Taehyung reappears before long and everyone shuffles again to let him back into his space. Jungkook thinks he does a good job of keeping an eye on him, staying aware, without coming across like he's just staring at him from across the room.
He chats with the people who approach him, sees a couple of acquaintances he knows from being at the bar every week and makes conversation with them.
As the night wears on, he becomes increasingly worried that he won't be able to get Taehyung alone at all, and then he doesn't know what he'll do. He can try his luck another night, and while it's true that he's sometimes seen Taehyung hanging around during the week, the only times he can be counted upon to appear are the weekends.
If he waits, he might not get another chance before the following Friday when he'll have to report his failure to his friends and, more importantly, their little challenge will be over.
The thought that he might try it with someone else is out of the question. If he's going to go for another alpha, he's doing it with Taehyung.
It's Taehyung or no one.
But it gets later and later and Taehyung doesn't move again, and his party shows no signs of slowing down or breaking up. Jungkook is starting to lose hope, weighing the chances of being able to snag Taehyung as he heads out the door, or if he might be able to get his attention outside without making it obvious to everyone else exactly what he's doing.
And then, finally, after he doesn't even know how long, Taehyung moves again, by himself. Jungkook isn't sure how late it is, but he knows it's late -- later than he usually lingers. By now he would have found someone to go home with, or to bring back to his place, or he would have decided to leave alone if he wasn't feeling up to it.
This time, Jungkook holds still for a moment longer, waiting to see where Taehyung is heading. If he's going to the bathroom again, maybe Jungkook should just take the chance anyway. But if he's heading to someone who caught his eye, Jungkook would rather die than face the embarrassment of interrupting.
He doesn't head toward the bathroom though, and he isn't looking at anyone as he picks his way through the now-dwindling but still significant Saturday night crowd. Jungkook is out of his seat before he even finishes putting together that Taehyung is heading for the bar.
Suddenly Jungkook's heart is racing. He can't believe he's actually going to do this, but the thought of having this opportunity and letting it pass him by -- it's just not something he can do. He wouldn't be able to live with himself. He knows the chances are good that he's about to be rejected, and it will probably be the worst rejection he's ever faced even though it's also the most obvious, but he just can't resist.
So he goes for it.
He has to sidestep multiple people on his way to the bar, and at one point he almost crashes into someone busing tables, but he makes it. He slides in next to Taehyung at the bar and immediately realizes he has no idea what to say.
He's close enough that he can smell Taehyung, the mist-in-the-woods scent of him, which means that Taehyung can smell him too.
Jungkook has never been especially concerned with his own scent, not since he'd been a teenager and everyone was worried about that sort of thing.
Once he'd had it confirmed often enough that his scent was pleasant to people -- a smoky, campfire kind of scent, from what he's been told (his friends always joke that he'll end up with an omega who smells like marshmallows someday -- a joke he never finds particularly amusing for some reason) -- he hasn't thought much about it.
Now, though, he finds himself hoping that Taehyung doesn't mind it, that it won't immediately turn him off. Some alphas won't even talk to other alphas in contexts like this, out at a bar. If they're not interested in company outside of their friends or hookups, what reason would they have?
But Taehyung looks up when Jungkook's proximity is obvious, and his momentary confused expression melts into a smile, boxy and sweet.
"It's Jungkook, right?" he asks.
His voice is smooth and deep. It makes Jungkook think of decadent things, like rich chocolate and velvet. He thinks he might be losing his mind a bit, standing here, working up the nerve to say something, anything that will give him the chance to take Taehyung home with him. He has no idea what to say, so he answers Taehyung's question, and as he does, it occurs to him to wonder why Taehyung already knows his name.
"That's me," he says.
He does his best to put on a veneer of the charm and confidence he's learned over the years. He can do this -- he does it all the time. The only difference now is that he's talking to an alpha -- to Taehyung. Everything else is the same.
"And you're Taehyung," he adds.
Taehyung meets his eyes. He bites his lip and the gesture sends an unexpected bolt of heat shooting like an arrow down through Jungkook's body. He's never wanted anyone this badly, and it scares him, but he also can't fight it. Not anymore.
"I was wondering if you were ever going to talk to me," Taehyung says.
Jungkook doesn't know if he means that he's been wondering for a long time, or just tonight. He isn't sure which would be worse. He feels his face warming and knows his cheeks are turning pink.
He does his best to wrap bravado around him like a jacket. If he's been caught, that's fine. He'll own it. If he's learned anything, it's that confidence is key.
"I'm talking to you now," he says.
Taehyung turns, leans his elbow against the bar to face Jungkook head-on. He looks Jungkook over in a way that's definitely assessing but only potentially in a suggestive way. He could just be wondering why another alpha is approaching him like this, even though Jungkook hasn't yet gone far enough that he can't take it back.
"You are," Taehyung says once he's completed his slow looking-over.
Jungkook tries not to let his body temperature rise in the wake of Taehyung's heavy gaze, but he can't help himself. He's past wondering what it says about him that he wants another alpha. He's lived with his undeniable attraction to Taehyung for months, since well beyond the point that he found out he was an alpha. If he hasn't necessarily made peace with it, he has at least accepted it as a fact.
"Why?" Taehyung asks him.
Jungkook doesn't know if Taehyung is asking why he's talking to him, or why now. He doesn't know how to answer either of those questions.
Normally he would say something charming, try to be distracting, get things headed in the direction he wants them to go in. For some reason, it feels important to tell the truth this time. Not that he's in the habit of lying, but leaving out the details in this particular case would make him feel -- dirty. That isn't a way he wants to feel right now.
"Honestly," he says, "my friend -- Jimin?"
Taehyung nods, which isn't surprising. Everyone knows Jimin, and especially with Taehyung being an alpha, Jimin an omega, it makes sense that they would have caught each other's attention.
Actually now that Jungkook is thinking of it, it strikes him as strange that the two have never hooked up themselves, but he's sure he would have heard about it from Jimin if they had.
"He sort of called us all out for being interested in the same types of people all the time."
Jungkook figures that's a good way of putting it -- it introduces the idea that he's doing this partly because of his friends, so he doesn't feel like he's hitting on Taehyung under false pretenses, while also not completely throwing them all under the bus.
He sees that Taehyung understands. He smiles and nods like he gets it, and maybe he does -- he's an alpha too, after all. He must have his own ways, and his own feelings, whatever they are, about the things that people expect from him.
"But you're not always interested in the same types of people," Taehyung says after a moment. "Are you, Jungkook-ah?"
Jungkook is taken aback by the familiarity, but also by the tone of Taehyung's voice, lower now, and confident, like nothing about this situation has thrown him off at all. Jungkook meets his eyes and knows that his own are wide with surprise.
So Taehyung has noticed him staring, beyond just tonight. He's noticed and he hasn't said anything, hasn't stopped him, hasn't confronted him. Does that mean it doesn't bother him?
"No," Jungkook agrees. Suddenly he feels much less in control of the situation, despite the fact that this is objectively a good sign in terms of his goal.
Taehyung doesn't respond, but he doesn't leave either, doesn't shut Jungkook down even though at this point, it's clear that they're on the same page about Jungkook's interest. Taehyung also hasn't given any sign that Jungkook can read that he's interested in return.
It's like he's waiting for Jungkook to make a move, doesn't want to put himself on the line first maybe. Jungkook can't blame him. He's bigger than Taehyung, technically a threat even though he has no desire to harm him.
Maybe he's afraid that it's a set-up? Or maybe it is a set-up, only Taehyung is the one doing it, and as soon as Jungkook says something, implies anything, Taehyung will be after him with all his friends.
But -- no. He can't say he necessarily knows Taehyung, but he has spent months observing him from the sidelines. He would know if Taehyung or any of his friends were the type to get aggressive. It's much more likely for Taehyung to be worried that Jungkook could be the type, and suddenly what Jungkook wants more than anything is to make it clear that he isn't.
If he wants this, he has to be the one taking the risk. It's only fair. And when he looks at Taehyung, watching him closely, letting him work through these thoughts on his own, he doesn't see aggression or even wariness in Taehyung's expression.
What he does see is curiosity, warm and unguarded. It isn't quite the interest he's looking for, the interest he's used to seeing, unabashed, on the faces of the people he picks up, but he thinks it could be masking interest, or that it might be there, below the surface, waiting to see what Jungkook will do. So he screws up his courage, and he takes the plunge.
"Would you --" he starts, and immediately fumbles, more nervous than he's ever been in this situation, not just because Taehyung is an alpha, but because he's Taehyung.
But Taehyung himself only smiles at him, gently encouraging, and waits. In fact, he's been waiting, Jungkook sees now.
At some point while Jungkook has been waffling, trying to find the nerve to say what he desperately wants to say, the bartender has placed a whole tray of shots down in front of Taehyung, presumably for him to bring back to his table of friends.
Taehyung is ignoring the tray and his friends, instead standing here waiting for Jungkook to get his shit together.
It gives Jungkook the push he needs. This time when he speaks, he forces the words to come out sounding much more confident than he feels.
"Would you want to get out of here?" he asks. "With me?"
Taehyung's expression melts into a wide grin. Jungkook's heart stops for a moment, at first because Taehyung is so breathtaking it's absurd, and then because he worries that Taehyung has just been waiting for him to ask for his own amusement after all.
But then Taehyung says, "I thought you'd never ask. I just have to go bring these to my friends and say goodbye. It's my friend's birthday and these are the last shots of the night. Meet you outside in ten minutes?"
Jungkook feels his eyes widen again, probably looks a bit ridiculous, but now that he's really here he kind of can't believe that Taehyung is saying yes. He wants to ask him, to double-check, to make sure Taehyung understands what it is that he wants, but he knows that if he starts allowing himself to flounder now, he won't stop.
So instead he does his best to gather his composure, straighten his shoulders, broaden himself a bit in the way that always makes him feel like he's more in control of whatever situation he finds himself (or gets himself) in. He gives Taehyung a stoic nod, refusing to allow him to see the way he melts in response to Taehyung's answering bitten-lip smile.
Then Taehyung takes the tray of shots in his hands and turns away and Jungkook feels like he can finally breathe properly again.
He goes outside to try to cool down and wait. He needs to get himself together, though he has no idea how to do it.
Part of him doesn't want to let Taehyung out of his sight, afraid he'll disappear even though he'd seemed happy enough to agree, but he doesn't want to immediately come off as domineering, and anyway he needs to get his head on straight.
As it happens, though, he does not get his head on straight.
The entire time he waits outside for Taehyung to appear, he replays their brief conversation in his mind, analyzing it from every angle, pacing back and forth a few steps away from the front door of the bar.
He plays with his hair, pushing it back behind his ear, and then realizes what he's doing and stuffs his hands in his pockets, only to find himself fiddling with his hair or his lip ring again a moment later. He still can't get over the worry that Taehyung is just messing with him, that he'll disappear out the back and leave Jungkook waiting, or that he'll send someone after him for daring to hit on him in the first place.
None of his fear is enough to send him away though. It would be easy. He could just ditch Taehyung and pretend it had all been a joke if Taehyung ever confronted him about it.
He doesn't. He doesn't even genuinely consider it, which tells him just how far gone for Taehyung he really is. He's alone, he doesn't even have his friends to bolster or cajole him. He's motivated entirely by how much he wants this.
Taehyung steps out of the bar, alone, exactly ten minutes after he'd left Jungkook at the bar. Jungkook's heart jumps up to his throat as soon as he appears, and the last shreds of doubt that Taehyung doesn't want this finally leave him. Taehyung looks like he's barely strapping down his own excitement, now that they're without an audience.
If Jungkook hadn't been watching him, he may not have recognized it, but he does. He sees it in the way Taehyung pulls his plush bottom lip between his teeth, just for a moment before releasing it, and in the way his long, pretty fingers fold over his mouth to hide his smile as he approaches.
Jungkook pointedly ignores the way his body reacts to that, feeling jumpy and giddy the way he imagines a little girl with a crush might feel. He tries not to think about all the ways that comparison is embarrassingly accurate when it comes to his own feelings about Taehyung.
"Did you walk here?" he asks, hoping that being the one to initiate this, will make him feel more in charge of where it's heading.
Taehyung nods.
"Good," Jungkook says. He's only had one drink, which he'd taken forever to finish and has nevertheless been done with for ages, since he'd known how he hoped this night would go. He heads to his bike, trusting that Taehyung will follow him, which he does.
Jungkook hands him the extra helmet, which he wonders if Taehyung will protest using. He doesn't argue, slips it down over his head and flips the visor down, blocking his face almost entirely from view and effectively breaking Jungkook out of staring at him.
He almost wants to make Taehyung get on the bike first, so he can just look at him, see him straddling the seat of Jungkook's motorcycle because something about that idea already has his body warming. He quickly gets on and Taehyung climbs onto the seat gracefully behind him, tucking in close.
It's probably too much to hope that Taehyung can't smell his rapidly rising arousal from being this close. Alphas aren't as attuned to each other's scents, or the subtle changes in them due to mood or hormonal shifts, but in this situation, it must be obvious.
Taehyung doesn't seem bothered by being so close to Jungkook either though. He wraps his arms easily around Jungkook's waist, as though they've done this together a thousand times, when in truth before this moment, the closest Jungkook had ever been to Taehyung had been just a few minutes earlier at the bar.
He wishes he could smell Taehyung better too, to get a sense of whether he had any matching excitement mounting in him, but he doesn't linger, and as soon as the bike is on and racing through the night streets, the wind whips their scents away and he can't smell anything but the cool air.
Jungkook lives in the neighborhood, one of the reasons the bar is his favorite, so it doesn't take them long to get there. He gets off the bike first and, out of habit more than anything else, he holds out his hand for Taehyung to take.
As soon as he does it, he thinks it's probably a mistake. Taehyung isn't some omega who will blush at being fawned over. But he's already done it and he feels like it will make him look stupid to back down now, so he lets his hand hang there in the air between them, waiting for Taehyung to either take it or scoff at it.
There’s a pause where he doesn't do either, but then he sets his own elegant hand into Jungkook's bulkier one and lets Jungkook help him stand from the bike. He hasn't removed his helmet so Jungkook can't read his expression. He doesn't know if that's a blessing or a curse.
He puts his own helmet under his arm to carry up to his apartment, so Taehyung does the same and follows him into the building.
Neither of them speak, and the moment feels somehow both awkward and heated. They both know what's happening here, but at the same time, Jungkook feels like he has no idea what he's doing.
Taehyung follows him up the stairs to Jungkook's humble but private apartment. He'd given up roommates for good when he'd (finally) moved out of Jimin's apartment. Living with an omega had been surprisingly easy and comfortable, at least given that the omega in question had been Jimin.
Even being around for heats hadn't been bad, on the occasions when he hadn't been able to make other plans in time, when he and Jimin had known each other for long enough and well enough that they were both comfortable with it.
What had been less comfortable had been constantly dealing with each other bringing people home, and the petty spats their hookups would get into with each other when they happened to run into one another in the kitchen or the hallway, purely because so many people weren't used to mixed living arrangements and couldn't get their primal brains back in order around other alphas or omegas who were near a partner of theirs, even if that partner was only for a night.
It’s far easier and more comfortable to live alone, and Jungkook has never been more grateful for it than he is right now. Jimin would be nothing worse than ruthlessly teasing about Jungkook bringing home an alpha, but Jungkook doesn't want to know how any other random stranger might take it.
Inside, Jungkook is even more nervous than he'd been at the bar. He had been so wrapped up in his thoughts and anxieties regarding asking Taehyung to leave with him that he hadn't even considered what he would do or how he would feel if Taehyung actually said yes.
That he's beyond turned on by the knowledge that Taehyung did say yes, and is here in his apartment with him now, is undeniable, but what to actually do with himself, he has no idea.
He decides the safest bet is just to act like he would normally act -- at least, more or less. He doesn't want to accidentally offend Taehyung by treating him exactly the way he would treat an omega or anything, but at the same time, this is going to go more or less the same way, right?
His palms are sweaty. He doesn't know if his palms have ever been sweaty before. He tries to discreetly wipe them on his jeans.
"Want anything to drink?" he asks, because that seems both familiar and safe.
"No thanks," Taehyung says, which isn't what Jungkook had been hoping to hear. If Taehyung had wanted a drink, that would have given him something to do with his hands, even if he'd only asked for water.
Taehyung's voice is even, the way it had sounded when they were standing so close at the bar, and even though part of Jungkook feels too nervous to dare to look directly at him, he's drawn to do so at the same time.
His eyes find Taehyung with a will of their own, as they have so often over the last several months. Taehyung is wandering around his open apartment, peeking around corners and poking at little details he sees.
Jungkook had been hoping for this outcome, so he'd tidied the place up even more than usual earlier, and he's glad that he hasn't left anything embarrassing where Taehyung's wandering eyes and hands would find them.
Taehyung looks up then, as though he could feel Jungkook's eyes on him, and even though it's impossible for Jungkook to read his expression, he feels a flash of heat through that gaze as though he had been struck by it.
He feels so wildly out of his depth, desperate to know what he should do, how he should act, but just as desperate to have Taehyung close to him.
He takes a step toward him without even realizing he's going to do it, and Taehyung's heavy-lidded expression shifts into another smile, something almost dangerous hovering in it, though still he seems to wait, playing his hand close to his chest, letting Jungkook make the first move.
That's exactly what it is, Jungkook realizes. Taehyung is playing with him. Gently, and without malice, and very clearly with a good deal of interest of his own now, but definitely playing. The realization makes Jungkook feel -- well, he doesn't know quite what it makes him feel, but it might be something similar to anger, or annoyance.
Jungkook may be an alpha interested in another alpha, but that doesn't mean Taehyung can laugh at him. Besides, it's not like Taehyung isn't into it himself.
Whatever is simmering under his skin finally pushes him definitively in a direction, and in a moment he finds that he's suddenly much closer to Taehyung than he had been before, stalking across the room to crowd him against a wall. It's more aggressive than he would normally be, but he doesn't normally bring people home if they're set on rankling him either.
As soon as Taehyung's back is to the wall, the situation seems suddenly drastically different. The uncertainty Jungkook had been grappling with falls easily away from him, because if there's one thing he's certain of, it's that he can trust his body, and if there's one thing his body is certain of in this moment, it's that it wants Taehyung.
Taehyung, though, looks more amused than ever, and Jungkook can't shake the feeling that his amusement is at Jungkook's expense. He's torn between confronting Taehyung about it and distracting him thoroughly enough that he forgets about it.
In the end, he can't resist asking. It bothers him too much, but also he just wants to know what Taehyung is thinking.
"What?" he asks, hoping he sounds dangerous enough that Taehyung will drop the notion of poking fun at him.
It doesn't work though. Taehyung's smile only grows when he hears the tone of Jungkook's voice.
"Nothing," he says. "It's just that you're so cute."
Jungkook feels his eyes narrow. He's so close to Taehyung now that even though they aren't technically touching, he can feel him, the heat of his body, hotter even than Jungkook is used to because that's just how alphas are.
It serves as an inescapable reminder that this is exactly what Taehyung is: not just some pretty guy Jungkook spotted at the bar and took home, but another alpha -- an alpha who is letting him crowd him up against the wall, bullying his way into Taehyung's personal space.
Taehyung should, at the very least, be bristling by now, if not outright angry with Jungkook for being so assertive, even aggressive. His hackles should be rising, uncontrolled in his frustration, and instead, he's cool as can be.
It makes Jungkook feel even more annoyed and frustrated, because it gives him the sense that Taehyung doesn't even care -- that Jungkook's threatening body language, the low timber of his voice, don't even register to Taehyung as being threatening at all. It's like Taehyung is so far above him that he's not even bothered. It's infuriating.
"Cute," he says, has to push the word out because he doesn't want to say it, would rather Taehyung not know how effectively he's getting to him.
Taehyung giggles , and somehow it does nothing to assuage the unmoored feeling Jungkook is contending with at all.
The world seems to shift, which may sound dramatic, but before Jungkook even realizes that Taehyung's hands are on him, he's been swung around, and it's disorienting in more ways than one.
Now it's his back that's pressed to the wall, and while Taehyung is still maintaining the barest breath of space between them, somehow he feels even closer now than he had a second before.
They're almost the exact same height, but now Jungkook feels like he has to look up to meet Taehyung's eyes. His face feels hot and he can only hope that the light in this corner is dim enough that Taehyung can't see the flush in his cheeks. Based on the self-satisfied expression on his face, Jungkook is guessing he can see it after all.
"Cute," Taehyung reiterates. He cocks an eyebrow like he's daring Jungkook to say something about it, but Jungkook can't.
He doesn't know what to say. Actually it feels like, for the moment, all power of speech has left him. He's probably just stunned that Taehyung had been able to manhandle him so easily. Most people couldn't, even other alphas, and even those who could probably wouldn't dare to try. Taehyung had done it like it was nothing.
"Wanna know why?" Taehyung asks, whispering.
He's being downright cocky, and Jungkook doesn't know what to do with it. It's -- not what he had expected from Taehyung, that's for sure, and it throws him off, forces him to remember that Taehyung is an alpha talking this way, teasing him.
It stokes the feeling in his belly, which is hot and bright like anger but just slightly off center from it at the same time. Before he manages to regain the power of speech, he regains control over his body, so he uses it to flip them again, though this time he keeps a small distance of a couple inches between their bodies.
"Why?" he asks, challenging, hoping he's not coming across as too aggressive but not entirely able to act like he isn't bothered by Taehyung pushing him around.
"'Cause," Taehyung says, still with that sweet little smile on his face, looking practically demure despite the fact that he's the one who's teasing. "You're acting all tough, but I know that's not really what you want."
He speaks so low that if Jungkook hadn't been right in his space, he isn't sure he'd even have been able to hear the words. As it is, though, they hit him hard, punching him as surely as a physical strike right below the ribs: a dirty shot.
His mind heightens to overdrive, the gears turning so fast he thinks of several things he could say and discards them all almost as quickly. He should argue, he knows that, but if he argues, will he just make himself seem more obvious? And what does Taehyung mean anyway?
It's just too much for him, and before he can so much as narrow his eyes at Taehyung again, Taehyung is meeting them, unafraid of Jungkook's superior stature.
His eyes are heavy-lidded, showing that despite his evident amusement at Jungkook's expense, he is also still turned on. Maybe that's why he is, and the thought of that makes Jungkook's belly flip in a way that's not as unpleasant as it probably should be.
"Jungkookie," Taehyung says, once more being far too familiar, and yet Jungkook feels a shiver race down his spine at the sound of the nickname in Taehyung's deep voice. "Step back," he says.
And Jungkook steps back.
He doesn't even think about it, just does it like following an order from another alpha is the most natural thing in the world to him. He supposes that he does make friends of other alphas pretty often, and that within that group of friends, there are alphas he's used to deferring to.
Namjoon and Yoongi are both older than him, and so it makes sense that he listens when they want him to do something, even if it does grate on him sometimes.
It grates now too, like an itch under his skin when he does what Taehyung says purely because Taehyung is the one who says it. There's resistance, and yet the thought of refusing him doesn't even occur to Jungkook.
"Good," Taehyung says in that same voice now.
It makes Jungkook shiver. He can't look away from Taehyung's face, showing a sort of concentration that had been missing before, like he's been playing this whole time and now he's finished with that. Now he has Jungkook where he wants him. Now he's in the game.
They haven't even kissed, but Jungkook feels hot all over. He's acutely aware of the fact that he's still standing half a step away, holding the distance between them because Taehyung had told him to. He has no idea what he's feeling, and he's starting to wonder whether Taehyung really knows what he's doing either, or if they're both just unsure how to handle themselves in this situation.
It's not like Jungkook has ever hooked up with another alpha before. He swallows, aware of the way Taehyung's eyes dip down to his throat before lifting to his face again, snagging on his lip ring before landing back on his eyes.
The contact of their gaze is heavy and warm and crackles like fire down through Jungkook's chest. It makes him brave, the idea that Taehyung feels just as lost as he does. Maybe, he thinks, it means he can still get this back on track, back in the direction that makes sense to him, the one that, he's realizing, he's been imagining all along.
He takes a step forward, undoing the step back that Taehyung had demanded of him. As soon as he does it, Taehyung's chin lifts a little.
"No," he says, and Jungkook stops.
He nearly huffs in frustration, as annoyed with himself for listening to Taehyung so instinctively as he is with Taehyung for ordering him around. Part of him wants to snap, What do you want then? But he worries that it will seem like an invitation for Taehyung to keep telling him what to do.
Plus he can't deny, if only to himself, that doing what Taehyung tells him to do is making him feel -- something. What exactly that something is, he isn't quite sure, but that it's affecting him is undeniable, and it's undercutting his instinct to resist or fight back.
Taehyung studies him for a long, drawn-out moment, as though he could read the expression on Jungkook's face more clearly than Jungkook can read his own internal reactions. His own expression gives nothing away.
Then he reaches out with one hand and hooks the tip of his long, elegant finger, so graceful, under Jungkook's chin. He barely exerts any pressure, and yet Jungkook feels himself tugged forward, as though the mere suggestion of what Taehyung wants from him is as powerful as a magnet, or a hook in his belly.
He pulls Jungkook right back into the space he had, a mere moment earlier, told him to make in the first place, as though just to prove that he can. He keeps pulling until Jungkook is barely a breath away.
"Do you want to kiss me, Jungkook-ah?" Taehyung asks. He doesn't whisper, but his voice is so deep and soft that it's almost like a whisper.
Jungkook thinks that's obvious, that it's been obvious for hours if not months, and he wants to argue, make some snarky remark. He wants to make Taehyung understand that while he does want it, of course he wants it, he isn't about to beg for it. It's not in his nature.
Taehyung must understand that, and he's just toying with Jungkook because he feels like he can. Jungkook has given too much of himself, his wanting, away. Taehyung feels like he has power over him because he knows how much Jungkook has been wanting him.
The realization hardens something in Jungkook. He doesn't feel angry exactly, maybe he's too turned on still to feel angry, but he does feel resistant.
Taehyung sees it, or feels it, a change in the tension between them. The misty scent of him seems to swell, like Jungkook is walking through a fog, and he softens in direct proportion to Jungkook's shift toward a harder mood.
He sags against the wall, becomes more pliant than he had been a moment before, his body in conversation with Jungkook's already, even though they've barely touched.
"Look at me," Taehyung says, even though Jungkook is already looking at him.
Despite the confusion roiling in him, making him just on the edge of too uncomfortable to keep going, he can't seem to look away from Taehyung. Still, he understands that Taehyung means he wants Jungkook to meet his eyes, and he hears in the tone of his voice that it's less a demand than a request.
That little bit of give is enough for him to be able to answer it, respond the way Taehyung wants him to, and he meets his heavy gaze.
"I'm not trying to push you or play with you, Jungkook-ah," Taehyung says. "Not more than you want me to. I'm just -- trying to find you."
Jungkook gets the impression that he's seeing a part of Taehyung that he doesn't show often by speaking so seriously to him. It helps him relax a little more, the idea that they're both maybe a little out of their depth here, and that he isn't the only one giving things away.
It makes it feel a little bit easier, a little more like they're on even footing with each other after all.
It makes it a little easier to nod when Taehyung says, "You want to kiss me, right?"
There's a moment in between Jungkook's nod and Taehyung speaking again in which neither of them moves. Neither of them seems to even breathe. They're only a few inches apart from each other. What little space that remains between them is warm.
Jungkook marvels at the idea that he'd ever not known what Taehyung is. This close, it seems obvious. He's so confident, so sure of himself. His body is soft but his gaze is implacable. Jungkook has the sense that Taehyung knows exactly what he wants and understands intuitively how to get it, that he can be pliable in the sense that he can mold himself around the needs of others in order to get what he wants from them.
It's disconcerting, it draws even more attention to how out of step with himself Jungkook already feels, and at the same time, it's comforting to know that Taehyung, at least, seems to know how to handle this situation. That thought terrifies him almost as much as it excites him.
"Then kiss me," Taehyung says.
Jungkook understands that Taehyung is allowing him to take the lead, helping him to feel more comfortable, and despite the fact that he's aware of it, it works. He lets his body move naturally, even if he feels like he has to rely on muscle memory. He lifts his tattooed hand to Taehyung's face and slowly, tentatively sets his fingertips on the other alpha's cheek.
He immediately notices how warm it is, all but burning against the pads of his fingers. It sends a bolt of lightning through his body from the point of contact, no part of either of them allowing them to forget what exactly it is that they're doing. Jungkook isn't even sure he wants to forget.
Still, he moves slowly, and with his gratitude to Taehyung for letting him take charge of this (he won't think too deeply about the implications of that) comes a new surge of arousal, which had barely been dampened by his increasing discomfort anyway.
Unable to face the warmth of Taehyung's face and the beauty of it at the same time, he trails his hand back until his fingers are brushing into Taehyung's hair, which is as soft and lovely as the rest of him.
As he leans in, just a little bit, he experiences a disorienting moment, and he realizes it's because he's never done this with someone almost the same size, nearly the same exact height, as him.
He's not looking down at Taehyung, but right at him, head-on. Taehyung's eyes are fixed on his through the whole drawn-out moment as he wills his body equally to move forward and to hold back, wanting nothing more than to kiss Taehyung like he asked, and almost equally wanting to fight the pull, the demand in his eyes.
His posture isn't demanding though. Taehyung is loose against the wall. He hasn't even lifted his hands to touch, instead leaving them hanging limp at his sides. But Jungkook wants him to touch, wants to feel those big, warm hands on his body, wherever he wants to put them -- and at the same time he's afraid of it. He's so afraid he feels almost sick, and he's relieved when Taehyung seems to sense that too and lets his eyes slip shut, patiently waiting.
Jungkook knows that it's actually a sign of how in control Taehyung is -- in control of himself, the most important kind, maybe the only kind that really matters -- that he's able to remain loose and pliant and patient while Jungkook screws up the courage to make this real. He feels envious, that Taehyung is so much in possession of himself, and he feels impressed, appreciative, just as much.
It also has the added benefit of allowing Jungkook to look at him, completely free. Taehyung is so handsome, his features defined and strong and yet soft in unexpected places. He can look cute and cuddly or serious and firm or imperious and sexy all with just the slightest shifts of expression.
Right now he looks lovely, his lashes long against his cheeks, so sure that Jungkook will do exactly what he wants, as long as he pushes just the right amount.
And he's right. Jungkook will.
His own eyes slip shut just as he's drawing the last breath of space between them closed, and he has the self-satisfaction of knowing that he isn't doing it because he's scared, but only because he wants to feel the moment their lips finally brush with utter, perfect clarity. And he does.
His lips touch Taehyung's, and he feels a cool sweep of breath across his cheek, as though Taehyung is surprised by the contact and has inhaled sharply.
That's the only sign he gives that he's at all thrown off. Otherwise he remains perfectly still, letting Jungkook control the pace of the kiss, which at first is painfully slow. Jungkook holds almost perfectly still, kissing Taehyung more lightly than he's probably ever kissed anyone.
Despite the stillness, despite the quiet, despite the fact that he feels an undeniable need to move as slowly and carefully as possible as they cross this line, there's no ignoring the way his body responds to the kiss, as chaste as it is.
Their lips are soft, even timid, on each other, and yet Jungkook's stomach roils with heat and nerves, he feels his body reacting from his head, which feels light on his shoulders, all the way down to his toes. He's tense despite the loose posture Taehyung is still adopting, but under his skin, he's all liquid warmth and temptation. He wants more, even as he has to urge his body into it, like stepping into a bath that's enticing but just a little too hot.
Without seeming to move at all, Taehyung only just pulls away, hovering so close that when he whispers, Jungkook feels their lips brush all over again.
"How was that?" he asks. "Easy, right?"
Jungkook isn't quite sure that "easy" is the right word, and he isn't sure he's up for speech just yet. His entire body seems to pulse, or race like he's moving fast even though he's standing still, but he nods.
"Jungkook-ah," Taehyung says, his voice soft and low and soothing. It's easy to trust that voice, so easy to believe that Taehyung knows what he's doing, what he wants, that he's confident it will all be okay, and so it really will. "Look at me," he says.
Jungkook hadn't even realized that he hadn’t opened his eyes again, but he opens them now to find that Taehyung's own warm gaze is already on him. He feels embarrassed by how tense he is, how difficult he’s finding it, even after months of wishing for exactly this to happen.
At the same time, even being embarrassed feels strangely safe with Taehyung. Maybe it's not despite the fact that he's another alpha, but because of it.
Taehyung's expression is serious when he says, "I'll be the one, if you want. I'd be happy to, if that's really what you want. I'm not sure it is what you want though."
There's no mistaking his meaning. He's offering to be the one between them to give up control, to take on the less stereotypical alpha role, and the offer stills Jungkook's heart in his chest for a moment, he's almost sure.
It takes him completely by surprise, because Taehyung offers it so easily, like it doesn't bother him, like it doesn't cost him anything. But it isn't an easy thing at all.
"Don't you --" Jungkook starts, and his voice comes out sounding small and unsure, so he tries again. "Don't you want -- power?" he asks, faltering at the end because that isn't quite the right word, but it's as close as he can get.
"I have power," Taehyung says, so confident -- confident in a way that Jungkook never can be. Confident enough to give it up freely. "I have whatever power you'll give me," he says, so simple.
Suddenly it makes a new kind of sense, what Taehyung is asking him for, and why there's a part of him -- a part he's naturally inclined to resist and fight against, but still, it's there, persistent -- that wants to give it to him.
He isn't asking Jungkook to deny what he is. He isn't asking Jungkook to pretend to be anything else or even to pretend that this is easy for him, that it doesn't take a lot out of him to fight his nature this way. He's only asking Jungkook to hand it all over for a little while, to give it all to Taehyung and let Taehyung take care of it, take care of him. And there's something that sounds painfully tempting about that idea.
"Take your time to think about it," Taehyung says. He's leaning so close still, and he leans closer now while he speaks, almost as though he's as tempted by Jungkook as Jungkook is by him, like he can't stay away.
His lips just barely touch Jungkook's, and it feels like he doesn't want to distract him by kissing him but he can't stay away either.
Suddenly Jungkook finds that he doesn't have to think about it anymore. He knows what he wants, and while it might be difficult to let himself have it, somehow he thinks that once the decision is made, Taehyung will help to hold him steady.
It's a heavy, final sound when he drops to his knees on the floor. There's nothing graceful about it, because he doesn't have it in him to move with any sort of determined purpose. All he can do is make his choice and let it fall like a hammer, and that's exactly what it sounds like.
Taehyung doesn't startle though, he just follows the movement so he's looking down at Jungkook with those dark, heavy-lidded eyes.
Jungkook looks up to meet them and realizes with a jolt that feels like a physical blow that he's literally never been on his knees for someone before, not like this, on the floor and looking up, waiting for some sort of guidance.
Taehyung doesn't ask him if he's sure. Maybe he knows instinctively that Jungkook would never have made it this far if he wasn't.
For a long moment they just look at each other. Maybe Taehyung is searching for something in Jungkook's face, and maybe he finds it, because eventually he lets out a slow, even breath, and he says, "Good," and Jungkook can feel the praise in it.
"I want you to touch me," Taehyung says. His voice is nothing short of intoxicating, and Jungkook can feel himself sinking into it without even registering what that means, that already he's relinquishing control by allowing Taehyung's voice and words to soothe him.
"Can you do that?" Taehyung asks.
The question makes Jungkook realize that this is a test, literally Taehyung testing the water to see whether Jungkook will be able to follow through on what he's promised by kneeling in front of him.
The thing about Jungkook, though, is that once he's decided to do a thing, he does it. Now that he's here, he's committed to seeing it through, no matter how challenging it might be.
When he reaches for Taehyung, though, to touch him like he said he wanted, Taehyung stops him.
"No," he says, and Jungkook's hands pause mid-air. "Not with your hands."
He looks down at Jungkook and doesn't give him any more information than that. His gaze is steady, like he's daring Jungkook to ask what he means, what he wants, or maybe like he's daring him to guess.
Jungkook slowly drops his hands to rest on his thighs. It sends a shiver down his spine to think about what he might look like right now. His mind races for a second as he considers what Taehyung might want from him, but then he gets it -- he gets it because if it were him up there, he knows exactly what he would have meant.
He swallows thickly, already wondering if he can do this -- but no, he said he would, so he will. He wants to.
So he does. He keeps his hands where they sit on his thighs, and he shuffles forward a little bit closer. He can't quite bring himself to look up at Taehyung again now that they're here, but he finds that it isn't difficult, either, to lean in close to him.
He can smell his scent even better now. There's a note to it that he hadn't noticed before, something almost sweet -- not in the cloying way of omega scents, which are all sugar and spice, things you might expect to find in a kitchen. This is softer, more subtle, something almost floral, or like fresh fruit on a vine. The scent of strawberries still growing, stumbled upon in the woods in early morning when the dew still clings to the grass.
All together, it's complex and pretty and intoxicating, and it makes it that much easier for Jungkook to close the small remaining distance between them and nuzzle his face against Taehyung through his soft trousers.
Overhead, he hears Taehyung's breath stutter. Maybe he hadn't really believed that Jungkook would make it this far, that he would be able to set his misgivings aside, but something about Taehyung just makes it -- not easy, but easier. Doable. Pleasurable.
Taehyung recovers quickly, but he doesn't do anything or say anything. Jungkook just hears his breathing even again, senses that he's calm and still in front of him. For his own part, Jungkook tries to stay calm too, but against his cheek, he can feel Taehyung, and it makes his heart feel like it's stopping in his chest. He doesn't know if he feels excited or terrified, and decides it's probably a mix of both.
Jungkook does his best to follow Taehyung's instructions, rubbing his cheek against him, unable to tell how hard he might be hidden away in his pants and wanting desperately to know. Somehow despite his struggle against his nature, his own arousal is impossible to ignore.
Hard or not, though, Taehyung is obviously feeling it too, because he doesn't make Jungkook stay on his knees for long even though it's clearly a win for him.
"Jungkook-ah," he says. "Will you show me to your bedroom please?"
Jungkook's cheeks warm when he realizes that everything that's happened (which isn't much, really, now that he thinks about it, but it feels momentous) has happened right beside the door.
He gets to his feet and does his best to hide how shaky his legs are. Already he feels an urge to reach out, to touch Taehyung and establish contact again, but he resists it. He tells himself it's because he doesn't want to appear needy, but the truth is that Taehyung still hasn't told him it's okay to touch him with his hands.
Taehyung follows him through the apartment and into his bedroom. It's simple but comfortable, if he says so himself. The room is all done in grays and whites, neat and tidy but home-like -- not exactly cozy, maybe, but not so stark or bare that it looks like it could be home to a serial killer or anything. At least he hopes not.
Nervously, he glances back at Taehyung and sees him looking around, taking it in.
He nods to himself a little bit, and Jungkook expects him to say something about it -- somehow he seems like the type -- but he doesn't.
It's like he takes in the information he needs -- there's the bed, comfortable and large and well-made, and there's the door to the bathroom, there's the bedside table with a drawer that probably has in it anything he'll want or need -- and then his attention swings fully back onto Jungkook, where it stays.
Considering the fact that he's spent months staring at Taehyung at every opportunity, when Taehyung is actually looking back at him, Jungkook finds it difficult to meet his eyes.
Instead, his gaze shifts over and down, eventually landing on the floor and only slowly crawling back up Taehyung's leg until it rests finally on one of his pretty hands, hanging loose and easy at his side.
He stares and decides that, if he's given the control over to Taehyung, then it's up to Taehyung to determine what happens next. He doesn't have to worry about it. He tells himself that. He worries about it anyway.
Taehyung seems to notice. In fact, Jungkook suspects, when he glances up at Taehyung's face and finds him watching him with a slightly smug expression on his face, that Taehyung is enjoying it. That probably shouldn't make him feel as warm as it does.
"Take off your clothes," Taehyung says after he lets the moment drag quietly on for a little while.
Jungkook suspects that he's still being tested, or maybe Taehyung is simply trying to lower him gently into these unfamiliar waters.
This time he finds that he does resist. It's too much, too big an ask, it would leave him too vulnerable, and even though there's still that part of him that simply wants to do what Taehyung says, the part that wants to maintain control is still right there too, holding the rest of him back. His hands lift and then fall, at a loss.
The end of Taehyung's eyebrow flicks up for a second.
"No?" he says. "Do you need me to tell you to take off one thing at a time?"
He says it like a taunt, teasing and yet somehow still gentle. It makes Jungkook feel foolish for not being able to do what he's told, but also like he'll be looked after anyway. It's a heady mix that he doesn't quite know how to process. Taehyung makes a brief movement with his mouth that seems to say if you insist .
"Take off your shirt then," he says.
Taehyung's assessment is accurate. This is immediately easier. Jungkook's hands come up again, catching on the hem of his shirt and lifting it over his head.
Usually he would toss it into his hamper or, if he thought he might put it back on, fold it and set it down somewhere, but before he even has a chance to think about it, Taehyung's own hands are there, taking it away from him.
He holds it for a moment behind his own back, like he thinks Jungkook might try to snatch it away from him, and then he drops it into a small, untidy heap on the floor. Jungkook feels his brow furrow, but he thinks he understands. It's one little thing for him not to be in control of, one little detail he can stand here and let Taehyung have the power to decide.
He could say something if he was moved to. He could bend down and pick up the shirt and put it wherever he wants. He doesn't. He lets it lie where Taehyung left it, and Taehyung seems pleased.
Jungkook waits -- for further instruction, for some sort of praise, for his own body to rebel and break out of the tentative hold his curiosity has on him.
While he waits, he looks at Taehyung, who seems to have settled into his new role easily. It suits him, the calm, strangely warm air of power, almost like he’s wearing it draped around him, a garment, but it isn't that really.
It comes from inside him. There's nothing cold about it, the way some men wear their power. Instead it's like a glow, coming off of his very skin, reflected in his pretty features. It doesn't seem at all out of place.
Taehyung makes him wait for a long moment, watching him. His eyes flick down over Jungkook's exposed chest once, as though he can't resist the temptation to look, but otherwise he keeps them fixed on Jungkook's face, maybe watching for any sign that he might be about to snap, that his composure and willingness to follow Taehyung's lead will crack and Taehyung will end up with an angry alpha on his hands -- an angry alpha who's bigger than him.
The thought makes Jungkook shiver, but not because the idea is appealing to him. He wants to do this, wants to succeed in overcoming his own baser instincts. What gets to him is the thought that Taehyung is so confident in himself that he's willing to take the risk, especially when he doesn't really know Jungkook at all.
Jungkook knows that he won't snap, or that even if he does, he would never do anything to hurt Taehyung. But Taehyung doesn't know that. He's either confident enough in his own abilities or good enough at faking it that Jungkook believes he is, and either way, it's hot as hell.
When another instruction does come, Taehyung doesn't even speak to give it to him. He tilts his head back a little bit, like he wants to be able to see all of Jungkook but doesn't want to move any further away from him, and looks pointedly down at his jeans.
Jungkook feels heat rise to his face and is embarrassed all over again at the notion that he's blushing like a schoolgirl, but he can't help himself.
Something about the idea that Taehyung won't even talk to tell him what to do, that he expects Jungkook to understand and obey his whims and gestures as much as his direct orders, makes him feel a whole new level of shame to fight against.
He understands though. Taehyung isn't just testing him, he's helping him. Giving one slightly more difficult task after the other in order to help him ease his way in. And just like when he told him to take off his shirt, he finds it easier to meet this new challenge now that it's only a baby step in the right direction.
He feels like he can barely breathe, air caught between his throat and his lungs, as he lifts his hands, his near-trembling fingers, to the jeans he'd worn out and slips the button from its fastening. He doesn't remember keeping the heat on so high, but it's sweltering in his room. Somehow he feels warmer and warmer the more clothing he takes off.
As he slips the jeans down over his hips and kicks them off, he's acutely aware of how exposed he is while Taehyung remains fully clothed.
It isn't even something that would normally stand out to him as any kind of disadvantage. He knows he looks good, for one thing, and for another, he's bigger, stronger -- if it came down to some sort of physical struggle between them for some reason, he would have the upper hand, and being undressed is only proof of that.
None of that matters.
"Good boy," Taehyung says once Jungkook is standing in nothing but black briefs, and Jungkook feels those words like a grip inside him, pulling him deeper and deeper into something he doesn't even really understand, but that equally, he's unable to deny.
What now? he wants to ask, but his tongue is heavy in his mouth. He has no idea how he's made it this far and at the same time doesn't know how much more he can take.
Taehyung surveys him, his gaze hooded and hot, heavy where it splays across Jungkook's bare skin with as much sensation as if it were his hands trailing over him rather than his eyes.
Finally, for the first time in several long moments, Taehyung reaches out to him. He trails the tip of one finger, barely brushing his skin, down his chest until it plucks at the waistband of his briefs before running back up again, finally stopping with a flick under his chin that makes Jungkook feel so small.
Taehyung takes his time looking him over, and Jungkook tries to maintain a sense of dignity beneath his attention. He uses the time to let his own eyes trail over Taehyung too, but he feels none of the same power in himself that he sees plainly in Taehyung as he does it.
It really does feel like he's handed it all over and now he has none left. It's a feeling that is completely foreign to him, but the effect it has on his body is familiar. He feels it pooling low in his belly, a heat that's as heavy and arresting as Taehyung's eyes on him.
Then Taehyung is reaching for him again, one hand coming to rest on the cut of his hip before trailing around to his front. He tucks the tips of his fingers into the waistband of Jungkook's sole remaining article of clothing and uses it to tug him forward.
Jungkook nearly trips over his own feet because it takes him by surprise, but he steps into Taehyung's space.
It strikes him as so strange in that moment that Taehyung is nearly the exact same height as he is, because over the last few minutes, he's begun to feel so much smaller than him. But when Taehyung leans in to brush their lips together again, they're on a level, perfectly matched.
When Taehyung kisses him, he feels caught, snared. His body is just that: a body, animal. It feels and it reacts, his breath stalling as his attention shifts from performing basic functions to Taehyung Taehyung Taehyung , his temperature rising all across his skin as Taehyung lights him up from the inside out. He's barely even touched him yet.
"You're doing well," Taehyung says against his lips, like somehow he knows exactly how much Jungkook loves those words, and exactly how much he needs to hear them.
Jungkook knows he's probably been here before, that this isn't a first for Taehyung like it is for him, but it doesn't bother him. Whatever possessive instinct he has -- and he does have it -- rests beneath the calm competence of Taehyung's quiet control over the situation.
Taehyung's fingers haven't left the waistband of his briefs, and now they grip more firmly.
"Is this okay?" he asks, in the same low simmer of a voice right there against Jungkook's mouth.
Jungkook knows what he's asking and even though a part of him insists that he should resist it, he nods. It's only the barest hint of a movement because he doesn't want to be the one to break contact, to end the kiss that's only barely a kiss in the first place.
Taehyung feels it. His fingers curl against Jungkook's belly and then the briefs are tugged down over his hips and thighs until Taehyung lets them drop to the floor. Jungkook steps out of them with a shaky exhale.
He feels so lost already, but somehow he trusts that Taehyung knows exactly where they are, where they're going, and how to get them home again. He finds that he doesn't mind letting Taehyung lead the way.
"Get on the bed," Taehyung says once Jungkook is completely undressed.
The simple phrase could almost be considered dismissive, except that Jungkook can hear, and see, and feel how affected Taehyung is. Knowing that Jungkook is having any kind of impact on him gives him the will he needs to step back, but he quickly finds that the instruction is too simple.
He isn't sure whether he should sit or lie down, face Taehyung or look away from him. He hesitates and looks back at Taehyung for more information, but once again, Taehyung seems to want to test him, to wait and see what he'll do on his own, or maybe he's enjoying watching Jungkook fumble, unsure.
In the end, he sits on the bed and then, after another second's pause, he carefully lies back against the mattress, instinctively looking to Taehyung for approval.
He finds it there, reads it easily in his expression, but when Taehyung speaks again, it's to correct him.
"No," he says, exactly like he had out by the door, and already it's like Jungkook's body recognizes the command of it, some small, hidden part of him leaping to try to correct himself even before he knows what it is that Taehyung wants from him. He notices that Taehyung hasn't let his eyes leave his face once since he'd stepped out of his briefs.
When Taehyung's voice comes next, it's somehow sharp and soft at the same time: "Present."
The single word makes Jungkook feel as though his blood has frozen still in his veins, and at the same time, a sudden wave of heat sparks all over him. For several seconds, he doesn't breathe at all. He can't. His lungs are useless in his chest and they won't obey him when he tries to draw in air.
Even just the thought of doing what Taehyung has asked of him makes his face warm and he knows he's flushed, visibly taken aback. He feels embarrassed and angry and deeply, desperately turned on in a way that's entirely new and unfamiliar to him.
He looks at Taehyung's face and what he sees there is a challenge -- and uncertainty. Taehyung doesn't know whether he'll comply. Taehyung has already made space in his mind for the possibility that this is where Jungkook's acquiescence will end.
It's that which finally allows him to do it. He wants to, needs to, prove himself -- that he has to show them both he's capable of this.
Slowly, with deliberation but also no small amount of difficulty, he pushes himself up onto his elbows and then, just as painstakingly, turns onto his front.
Bringing his knees up underneath him is the hardest part, he has to fight every instinct in his body to do it, but he does. He succeeds, and once he's on his knees, it's easier to sink back down onto his elbows, arching his back.
He's never felt so exposed in his life, but now that he's here, it's almost easier. For the first time, he feels as though he has actually given something up. He no longer needs to actively make the decision to allow Taehyung to have this power over him, or to hold back from reacting against it.
He's here, his own control over the situation well and truly ceded, and that means that whatever happens next is out of his hands. Something about knowing that, about genuinely feeling it for the first time, allows him to finally relax into it.
Taehyung takes a step closer to the bed, and then another, until Jungkook feels him reach out with one of those warm, pretty hands. He feels the heat from the touch before the touch itself comes, but then Taehyung's palm is resting against the small of his back, a reassuring weight as it hovers there and then runs up the length of his spine and into his hair.
He threads his fingers into it, almost patting him as though to soothe him, and strangely it works.
"Good," he says. "That's good, Jungkook-ah. How are you feeling?"
Jungkook takes a moment to think about it. Mostly what he feels is overwhelmed. He's painfully turned on, and he would be lying if he tried to claim that being in this position with Taehyung hovering over him doesn't have him absolutely out of his mind, and it's true that the more he gives away, the deeper into this part of himself that he goes, the easier it is to sink further, the closer to the surface the pleasure feels.
At the same time, that instinct to fight and to maintain control runs deeper in him than almost anything, and while it may be getting quieter as time goes on, it's still there, a current that pulls at him and makes him want to spring up, resist, fight back against Taehyung, put him in his place.
Except that it isn't really Taehyung that this part of him is rebelling against, and he knows it. It's fighting against this other, secret part of him that loves this, that craves it -- the part that Taehyung can, somehow, see and speak to.
Taehyung, who's an alpha too, and who knows exactly what Jungkook must be straining against even just to stay still in this position. Which is why he finds that he can give an honest answer, despite not knowing Taehyung well, because he knows that Taehyung will understand.
"It feels," he says, and his own voice comes out low and almost rasping too, "good, but --"
"It's hard," Taehyung says.
Where Jungkook's head is pillowed on his arms, he nods. His eyes have drifted closed, which makes it easier to focus on how he feels, rather than letting himself get distracted by looking around the familiar room, with Taehyung's unfamiliar presence inside it.
"You're doing well," Taehyung tells him.
It doesn't sound patronizing. He simply recognizes that this would be a challenge for Jungkook, and he graciously wants to encourage him. It helps. It helps a lot, maybe more than it should, but even the part of him clamoring that this is wrong, that he shouldn't be doing this, is soothed by the simple acknowledgment that it's difficult, and that he's doing it anyway, and that he's doing a good job.
He feels Taehyung climb up onto the bed behind him, feels him settle into place between his legs. The hand in his hair soothes back down his spine and settles on his hip, and then Taehyung's other hand is on him too, still touching him only with comforting, calming gestures.
"You know we can stop any time you want," Taehyung says, his voice as soothing as his touch.
And Jungkook does know. If he wanted to stop, if he wanted to do anything, Taehyung wouldn't be able to stop him. He knows that. But he also knows that he won't want to. Taehyung knows it too.
"But it's okay to want this," Taehyung says. "And I think you do. Am I right, Jungkookie?"
Jungkook nods. It's easier this time to admit it, maybe because he's finally mastering himself, or maybe just because it would be hard to deny at this point.
"Right. Then, Jungkookie," he says, the cutesy version of his name rolling off his tongue so easily, as though they've been here a thousand times before, "we're going to have some fun."
Something about the sudden lightening of his tone makes Jungkook tense all over again, though he can't say that it's an unpleasant feeling.
For the first time, Taehyung lets his focus stray from Jungkook's mental state to his physical one.
Jungkook hadn't been aware that Taehyung was holding back, but now that he isn't anymore, it's obvious that every moment since they first kissed by the door -- probably even before then -- Taehyung has been completely dedicated to helping him get here, without a thought to anything beyond making sure that he wants this and that he'll be able to handle it.
Now that the proof is splayed out in front of him, Taehyung is ready to play, and the shift is obvious.
He hums to himself and Jungkook feels him sit back, his hands moving from Jungkook's hips to travel instead down his sides. If he'd felt exposed before, it's nothing to the way he feels now, with Taehyung settled in behind him and taking him in for the first time.
He swears that the feeling of Taehyung looking at him is so intense it's like a physical sensation. Not to mention the feeling of his hands, sweeping slowly over Jungkook's body like he wants to feel every inch of him, pausing occasionally to squeeze at the muscle.
If he feels any sort of inferiority, anything that bothers him at all, about the fact that Jungkook is a bigger, stronger alpha than him, he doesn't give any indication.
In fact the only thing he does seem to indicate is appreciation. He radiates with it, making low, sweet little humming sounds whenever he sees or feels something he likes. He doesn't immediately pay attention to where Jungkook is hard between his legs, and Jungkook is simultaneously impressed and offended by his self-control.
It’s so hard to remain still, but he fights himself so that he doesn't have to fight Taehyung, and knowing that Taehyung understands is somehow enough to hold him there, pinned beneath his attention on the bed.
Taehyung trails his hands all the way down Jungkook's legs slowly, feeling every part of them, until he wraps his long fingers around Jungkook's ankles and squeezes briefly before brushing down over the backs of his feet.
It isn't a lingering touch, and it tickles more than anything else, but the fact that it's Taehyung touching him there adds a sensuality to the contact that he wouldn't have anticipated. It's warm and it makes him shiver, and then Taehyung's touching his thighs again, and smoothing his palms over Jungkook's ass like he wants to take in all of him at once.
Does he know, somehow, that Jungkook has never been touched like this? He must, or maybe he only guesses. Anyone hooking up with an alpha typically expects that alpha to take charge.
Lying still and taking whatever is given to him, even when that's only gentle, warming touches, is not usually on the agenda. It stokes the slow, gummy heat inside him into something that he recognizes as frenzied desperation, except that it's kept in check by the pace Taehyung is determining for them.
And then, finally, his attention shifts. Jungkook would swear he can feel the moment that Taehyung finally really looks at his cock.
Maybe there's some barely there, nearly imperceptible shift that gives him away: a change in his scent, or a slight tightening of his grip on Jungkook's body. Whatever it is, Jungkook's hunch is quickly proven correct when Taehyung makes another one of those low, pretty sounds, and one of his hands leaves Jungkook's ass to instead brush the tip of his finger lightly down the full length of his cock where it's hanging heavy between his legs.
He flicks lightly at the head and Jungkook's hips jerk in response, making Taehyung let out a sound that doesn't immediately register in Jungkook's mind. When it does occur to him that it was a short laugh, he feels his face flush.
"Look at you," Taehyung says.
His voice is admiring and it soothes the sting of embarrassment, though the feeling itself doesn't quite go away. Instead it simply melts into the rest of what he's feeling, becomes a part of it.
Jungkook has the sense that Taehyung is referring to all of him, laid out in front of him to do with as he pleases, or maybe even he's referring to that fact itself, that Jungkook is his for the taking. He shivers again.
Taehyung wraps his fingers around the head of Jungkook's cock and squeezes -- gently enough that it doesn't hurt, but hard enough to let him know that it could hurt, if Taehyung wanted it to.
Then he releases it and instead taps lightly at the little bit of slick precome he's coaxed from it. Jungkook has the distinct impression that Taehyung is playing with him, and he has no idea why that thought makes him as hot as it does.
"Such a big cock, Jungkookie," Taehyung says.
His tone is something like playful and mocking and sweet and appreciative all at once. Jungkook has never felt prouder or more embarrassed by his own cock before.
"I bet you know how to use it too, hmm?"
Jungkook's breath is so ragged that he hears it loud in his own ears when he breathes in, trying to hold himself together, to keep from shaking completely apart. He has no idea what's happening to him, and a part of him wonders whether he's even enjoying it, but at the same time, he knows he doesn't want it to stop. He never wants Taehyung to stop touching him, or looking at him, or saying whatever comes into his head when he does it.
It doesn't even occur to Jungkook to answer Taehyung's question. It doesn't occur to him that Taehyung really wants an answer.
Except then Taehyung surprises him with a short, sharp pinch to his thigh, a brief reprimand that's more surprising than painful and that makes him twitch back toward him, subconsciously angling for more contact.
"Tell me," Taehyung says. "When you fuck people with this big, pretty cock, do you make them feel good?"
Jungkook's breath is suddenly not coming so easily, and he feels the way that Taehyung shifts closer to him, feels the heat coming off of him despite the fact that he's still fully clothed.
There's an edge to his voice that Jungkook has never heard in it before, and it takes him a moment to understand what it is. It isn't anger, it isn't even alpha-typical emotionless aggression.
It's possessiveness -- just a hint of it. Taehyung knows that Jungkook must have done this with other people, albeit under very different circumstances -- and even if he knows he has no real claim to Jungkook now (more of one than he realizes, Jungkook admits to himself), he can't help wanting to stake one. It's part of him, a part that he can't quite entirely stamp out.
Something about that, the fact that Taehyung too is affected by his nature, that even he can't quite control all of it and erase it from his thoughts or feelings or words, excites Jungkook more than he can understand.
Behind him, hovering so close, Taehyung says, "Do you make the omegas you fuck come on your cock, Jungkook-ah?"
He's insistent that he'll push Jungkook to give him an answer, and it's an easy one to give, even though he knows he's likely setting himself up for further teasing.
Inside him, his emotions and instincts are all twisted up. He isn't sure if he's prideful or embarrassed when he manages a choked out, " Yes ."
Taehyung hums, a nearly dark sound from deep in his chest.
"Good," he says, although it's hard to tell whether he really does think it's a good thing, that innate possessiveness coming through in his voice, his touch, even his scent in a way that's completely intoxicating.
"That's how I'm going to make you feel," he says. "You just have to let me."
I am letting you , Jungkook almost says -- partly because it's such a revelation to him that he really is, that he's allowing this; Taehyung had been more confident in his ability to get here than Jungkook ever had -- but then before he even has the chance, all thought of speech is stopped before it begins.
Despite the growing anticipation, Taehyung still makes sure to take things slowly. His weight shifts and Jungkook feels him, the heaviness and heat of him, settle between his spread legs, so close now that he can feel Taehyung's breath against this part of him that no one has ever been so close to, warm and unnerving, but equally pleasant.
"Has anyone ever done this to you before?" Taehyung asks. His proximity makes his meaning clear even though he hasn't actually done anything yet.
Unfortunately, Jungkook still feels too stunned to reach for language. Instead he breathes out a shaky breath and shakes his head. He can't tell whether Taehyung moves to see him or if he just assumes the answer is no.
"Tell me if you don't like it," he says. "You might not."
It's true that Jungkook has never had this done to him before, but he's done it to plenty of other people and never had any complaints. Then again, all of those people had been omegas, with the occasional beta here and there. Never an alpha. Naturally never an alpha.
So maybe it makes sense for Taehyung to warn him, because as raw and vulnerable as he already feels, it's easy to imagine that pushing too far past this point could end up being too much.
That thought does nothing to prepare him for how it actually feels when Taehyung finally touches him though. When Taehyung's tongue first brushes against him, his body's natural response is to tense up, startled by the strange feeling.
But Taehyung puts his hands on Jungkook's open thighs and squeezes gently, and the sensation is so strangely reassuring, comforting, that he immediately relaxes a little bit, and then more when Taehyung licks at him again.
The feeling isn't exactly what he would have expected. It's hot and soft and while it does stir the heat pooled low in his belly, it doesn't stoke it, instead keeping him right where he is, more turned on than he's ever been in his life and at a complete loss.
His hands grip into the bedding as Taehyung tongues him open, which is a completely debilitating thought all by itself.
All too soon, Taehyung pulls back, not far, just enough to speak a few words.
"How does that feel?" he asks.
Jungkook feels Taehyung’s breath ghost over his skin where it's wet from his mouth, and he barely -- barely -- bites back a whine. He doesn't know what is happening to him or how it can be that he doesn't want it to stop happening at all. He feels out of his mind, almost like he's a completely different person when he's in Taehyung's hands.
"Good," he manages to say, though it comes out shaky and unsure. He does feel sure though, so he tries again. "Feels good."
Taehyung accepts this and starts again, working his tongue over a place no one else has ever touched before. Eventually Jungkook's mind seems to realize that there will be no making sense of this, and that if nothing else -- even if it tears at what feel in some ways to be the very fibers of his life and personality, so many instinctive thoughts and feelings that it's never even occurred to him to question -- it feels fucking amazing, so maybe he would be better off simply letting go and allowing it to happen.
He relaxes deeper and deeper into the feeling of it, worrying less and less, and as his mind relaxes, so does his body. He sinks more fully against the mattress, his hips canted up almost like it comes naturally to him to hold this position, even though it's one that he can honestly say he has never been in before.
As he relaxes, he's rewarded with an increasingly responsive Taehyung. Maybe Taehyung feels more comfortable letting loose now that he knows Jungkook isn't going to suddenly snap and attack him on instinct, or maybe the fact that he's having such an obvious effect on Jungkook is doing something for him, but whatever the case, he keeps making those sounds of appreciation, as though eating Jungkook out is somehow the hottest thing in the world to him.
His hands squeeze at Jungkook, his ass, his thighs, his hips, like they don't want to let him go, but at the same time, can't stand to stop touching different parts of him, whichever parts he can reach.
The one exception is that he never touches Jungkook's cock, not after those first teasing brushes. Jungkook thinks it's probably for the best, even though he's been so hard for so long now that it's starting to ache between his legs, because he isn't sure he'd be able to last with Taehyung's tongue on his hole and his hand on his cock.
Taehyung groans and Jungkook feels it, deep and rough and heady, almost like a growl, and that thought goes straight to his cock, making him rock back against Taehyung's face in the way that he has so far been able to resist doing. Taehyung doesn't seem to mind, and this time when his hands tighten on Jungkook's hips, he pulls at him, urging him to do it again.
So he does, and suddenly this isn't just something that's being done to him, but something he's participating in. Somehow that doesn't make it feel any less like submission. He muffles a choked sound against the mattress.
Taehyung is patient and thorough. If he's working toward any specific goal, Jungkook doesn't know what it is, and with a little thrill in his belly, he realizes that he doesn't care to know.
He simply lets Taehyung have him, any way he likes, and for a long time that seems to be just like this. There can be no ignoring the fact that Taehyung is enjoying himself too, because his little reactions to Jungkook are constant now.
Finally, he pulls away, and Jungkook feels him sit back between his legs, adjusting his grip on Jungkook's hips.
Despite the fact that Jungkook had felt like he was completely relaxed, the sudden absence of Taehyung's mouth on him makes him go limp, all remaining tension in his body falling out of him as though it's been snapped.
His chest falls completely to the mattress, his legs spreading even wider as he sinks against the bedding, low enough now that he feels the head of his cock brush the soft material, making him gasp at the sudden contact.
Taehyung laughs at him, but his voice is so obviously wrecked, telegraphing just how affected he is himself, that it doesn't even register as something Jungkook should be embarrassed by.
When he doesn't correct his posture though, Taehyung moves over him, sliding his hands from Jungkook's hips to his waist and using his grip to lift him back up more properly on his knees.
Jungkook whines, instinctive, and his face flushes for the first time in a while, but this time Taehyung doesn't laugh. Jungkook can hear him breathing hard, and it's gratifying to know that he isn't the only one who feels all of this going to his head.
"Do you have lube?" Taehyung asks in a voice roughened by his efforts, and Jungkook's adrenaline spikes.
For some reason, it's this question that gives Jungkook the sudden, full-body understanding of exactly what it is that they're about to do.
Everything up until now could have ended before this particular barrier got crossed. Until this moment, he could pretend that the switch would flip, and he would be back in the position he's accustomed to. It hadn't mattered that since the moment he'd fallen to his knees by the door, they had both known, at some level, where this was headed.
There had been plausible deniability, and now there's not.
Not that he thinks Taehyung wouldn't stop still, if Jungkook asked him to. If Jungkook were to find that he can't go through with this after all, he has no doubt that Taehyung would stop immediately.
He's seen enough of him, watched him be courteous with his friends, seen him treat anyone who comes across his path in the bar with the same staunch respect, to trust that. Taehyung has said it too, here, with him.
He even believes that, if he wanted to, they would simply change the direction of what they're doing without needing to stop at all, maybe get each other off with their hands, even the ground beneath them so that the clawing, frightened part of him wouldn't have to be so subdued.
But in this moment, with Taehyung close behind him in Jungkook's own bed, asking him whether he has lube on hand, Jungkook doesn't want to put a stop to it.
The thing is, it's a valid, genuine question. Most alphas sleep with omegas, and even those who occasionally sleep with a beta or two would usually not have a particular need to own their own lube, because betas would be used to it, if they wanted such a thing. Omegas don't need lube at all.
"Yeah," Jungkook says. His voice is almost unrecognizable to himself.
Taehyung's hands, still on his waist, squeeze suddenly almost like the sound of Jungkook's voice has made them convulse for a second. It makes Jungkook feel a little kernel of pride glow like a spark in his chest, an emotion he's well used to feeling but one which has been missing from this encounter almost since the start.
"Where?" Taehyung asks.
Jungkook manages to tell him that it's in the drawer, even though he feels like his heart rate has picked up an unhealthy degree of speed over the course of the last few seconds.
Taehyung stands up from the bed, and Jungkook mourns the loss of him. He quickly realizes, though, that this means Jungkook can look at him again.
He does his best to hide his face in his arms so that his staring won't be as obvious (he hopes) but he takes full advantage.
Taehyung is, of course, still fully dressed in his slacks and button down, looking handsome and ethereal in the golden glow of the lamplight. His fingers are mesmerizing as he opens and digs through the drawer in Jungkook's bedside table to find the lube.
When he does find it, he clearly notes that the bottle is half-empty, and he glances at Jungkook with a quirk of an eyebrow, but he doesn't press, doesn't even ask.
He tosses the bottle onto the mattress between Jungkook's legs but doesn't immediately crawl back up.
Instead, his hands move to the top buttons of his shirt, and now Jungkook knows his staring is obvious, but he can no longer bring himself to care. He's waited so long to see more of Taehyung than what he shows at the bar. He's been waiting for this since before he knew Taehyung was an alpha -- since before he knew Taehyung's name . He's not going to miss it now.
Maybe Taehyung knows, because he takes his time with the buttons. It's funny; Jungkook has never had the particular impression that Taehyung is an overly patient person, and frankly it isn't a common attribute of alphas in general. He has a sneaking suspicion that the only reason Taehyung is exhibiting it now is that it serves the additional purpose of teasing Jungkook.
He smirks as he slowly releases each button, revealing more and more skin at a painfully slow pace. Jungkook feels the urge, imbedded and primal, to tell him what to do: to hurry up, not to keep him waiting.
But just as quickly as the feeling swells in his chest, it melts away under the heat of Taehyung's gaze, fixed almost perfectly on his face, only betraying himself occasionally when his eyes dart across Jungkook's body like he just can't quite resist taking him in, again and again.
Once all the buttons have been undone, Taehyung shrugs out of the shirt, dropping it to the floor behind him, and Jungkook's breath literally stops in his throat.
He feels a little ridiculous, but Taehyung's collarbones .
They're as pretty as the rest of him, so pretty they hardly look real. He doesn't understand how anyone, let alone an alpha, can look so naturally, effortlessly beautiful. He's ethereal, like an angel, and Jungkook thinks with finality that he never had a chance of resisting him, not when he looks like that and his voice is so rich and all of this is paired with patience and kindness and good humor, and a sense of innate possessiveness that rivals his own.
It's a cocktail that feels as though it was created for him specifically, only that's not quite right. It's more like finding him, ending up here, had been inevitable from the moment that they had crossed paths.
As though he can somehow hear the thoughts in Jungkook's head, Taehyung smiles.
"What?" he asks.
"Nothing," Jungkook says immediately. He might feel it, but that doesn't mean he wants to spill it all out, especially since he's sure that Taehyung would tease him for it.
But Taehyung doesn't press for more. His smile grows, but softens, almost like he knows what Jungkook is feeling, or at least knows the shape of it. Maybe he can smell it on him.
The thought of Taehyung scenting him jumps into his mind then, and he has to force himself to take a slow, steadying breath. Scenting is something he's never felt strongly about one way or another, the kind of thing he could take or leave depending on what his partner wants, but the thought of having that with Taehyung is exhilarating.
He channels it into speech, says, "Are you just going to stand there?" and is pleased with how snarky and strong it comes out when in reality he feels like a breathy mess.
Taehyung's eyebrows rise like he's surprised, but the expression on his face is still playful, light-hearted. He's amused by Jungkook's talking back, but not in a way that feels condescending.
It's more like they're playing together, and it soothes the part of Jungkook that wants to fight back. He doesn't know how Taehyung is so good at that.
The thought that he's done this many times before, had other alphas under him, begging to be touched, makes something darker curl in Jungkook's belly, but before he has the chance to go too far down that line of thought, Taehyung distracts him by moving his hands to the button of his pants.
Jungkook's mouth goes dry, and he realizes it's because his lips are parted and he's breathing hard. He snaps his mouth shut only to feel it watering as soon as Taehyung pushes the trousers down to the floor and steps out of them.
Even just the impression of his cock through his boxers is a little overwhelming. Or possibly a lot overwhelming. It's hard to tell since Jungkook's mind stalls out completely as soon as his eyes find it.
In general, alphas are big, so it's not exactly a surprise, but even among alphas, Taehyung is impressive. Because of course he is. Jungkook is increasingly sure that the man was hand-designed by the creator of the universe solely to test and tempt Jungkook specifically.
For a brief second, Jungkook's eyes flit up to Taehyung's face. He isn't sure what he expects to see there -- the same soft, playful grin, maybe, or smug self-assuredness -- but Taehyung's expression surprises him.
It is playful, and confident, but there's a softness there too, and almost a vulnerable hesitance, like he thinks that Jungkook might back out finally, like getting this far will snap him back to himself and make him realize what he's doing and send him running.
It does make him realize what he's doing, but it doesn't make him want to run.
He gathers his courage -- and it does feel like courage, for so many reasons -- and he says the one word left in his head.
"Please."
Taehyung's expression melts, becomes all softness, and Jungkook just knows suddenly that all Taehyung wants is to give him everything, everything he wants, everything he asks for, either with words or with his body.
Taehyung undresses the rest of the way, but he moves so quickly now that Jungkook barely gets a glimpse of him before he's back on the bed, behind him, between his legs.
Then Jungkook's blood is rushing, so loud in his ears as his anticipation mounts that he must miss the click of the bottle opening, because all of a sudden there's a cool, slick finger pressing lightly against him, shocking a surprised gasp out of him.
He realizes it must be Taehyung's thumb when he simply rubs it there in small circles, coaxing his body to relax, waking him up and relaxing him all at once.
Jungkook sags down a little lower, spreads his legs a little wilder, trying to let Taehyung know that he's ready without needing to speak. He isn't sure what his voice would sound like now if he tried.
Taehyung takes the hint.
He shifts, and then it isn't his thumb touching Jungkook but one of those long, elegant fingers, gently and slowly pressing against him, urging his body to open for him, which it does. Jungkook calls on the last dregs of his self-control to take a long, deep breath in, and as he releases it, he carefully urges his whole body to relax into the pressure.
Taehyung's free hand settles on his lower back, which helps him to release even more of the tension held in all the long muscle of his body.
"You've done this before," Taehyung says. It is and it isn't a question.
As though in answer to the way Jungkook's body is responding to him, Taehyung doesn't waste time in pressing in with a second finger. Once again, it goes easily, comfortably. There's no pain or even tension except the fact that Jungkook already wants more again.
He isn't sure how he feels about the idea that it's obvious this isn't his first time doing this. There's a part of him that's almost proud to be doing well, and he feels that pride race through him like a shiver as he thinks that Taehyung has probably never had another alpha like this before.
There's another part that feels strongly embarrassed by it, like it should be wrong or shameful. He's past the point where he can care about that though. Instead of hovering at the surface to make him feel anxious or upset, the awareness of the emotion simply sinks into him and becomes just another part of the sensation swimming over and through him.
Taehyung doesn't speak again, so Jungkook figures it must have been a question after all.
"Yes," he answers, but even the single word comes out somehow both eager and weak.
Taehyung hums in response. He presses his fingers as deep as they'll go and gently twists them, coaxing Jungkook's body to spread around them. He has to concentrate to stay still.
"By yourself?" Taehyung asks. "Or with someone else?"
He tries to hide his true emotion when he asks, but Jungkook can hear it. The thought of Jungkook having done this with someone else has stirred jealousy in him, another hint of that possessiveness that Jungkook can't help enjoying.
He considers the idea of trying to coax more of it out of him, and he knows that under different circumstances, he would do it. He could easily play with him a little bit, hint at the idea that this isn't his first time inviting another alpha into his home for just this purpose.
Let Taehyung think that all of his hard-won victories since stepping over the threshold tonight have been, if not a complete ruse, then at least already won by someone else who came before him.
He wonders what Taehyung's response would be, if it would make him angry, if it would bring out more of those instincts he seems to have, for the most part, under such control. He doesn't think he would get rough with him, but he doesn't know how he would react, and not knowing makes him curious.
It isn't fear of Taehyung that stops him. Somehow he knows that, however he might react, Jungkook would be safe with him. He decides to tell him the truth because, in the end, this matters to him, and he wants Taehyung to know that -- and because he's made the decision to give up the role of being in control.
If he were to tease, intentionally play with Taehyung's emotions, it would be a form of dominance, and he's already agreed to turn that over to Taehyung.
"By myself," he says, and he can practically feel Taehyung's reaction.
It's as though he loses his balance almost, or maybe his hips jerk once in response. The hand resting on Jungkook's back slips forward slightly, pressing down higher on his spine, and his breath catches.
"Fuck," he says, almost hard to hear over the sound of Jungkook's own breathing and his heartbeat racing in his ears.
"Yeah?" Taehyung asks him. "Do you use your fingers? Do you have toys? Tell me."
Jungkook would have answered him even without the direct command, but he can't deny the way it lights him up to hear it. Who even is he anymore? He doesn't care. Whoever he is, he's with Taehyung, and somehow that makes anything worth it.
"Toys," he confesses. "I have toys."
As he says it, Taehyung curls his fingers for the first time and Jungkook nearly chokes on his answer. It's impossible to keep still through that and he twists, pushing back against Taehyung's hand.
He feels his face heat up for the thousandth time tonight as he says it. It's not exactly a common thing for an alpha to do. A little more socially acceptable, maybe, than actually hooking up with another alpha, but no one would expect to see an alpha fucking himself either, except in some very niche porn.
"Fuck," Taehyung says again. He laughs a little breathlessly. "That's so hot, Jungkook-ah," he tells him.
Jungkook wants to ask him if he's imagining it, if he's picturing Jungkook in this bed, maybe even in this same position, fucking himself with a bit of silicone and imagining, in some secret, hidden corner of his mind, having the real thing.
He wonders if Taehyung would ask if he ever pictures him, wonders if he would tell the truth or if that, finally, would be too much, past the point of vulnerability that he could bear.
He can't speak anyway. Taehyung pulls back just enough to join his first two fingers with a third and Jungkook only just manages to catch the noise that tries to leave his throat.
"Never would have guessed," Taehyung says as he adds just enough pressure to slowly slip his fingers inside. He stalls out for a moment and then Jungkook feels the strange, cool sensation of more lube. When Taehyung presses again, the slide is easier.
"What?" Jungkook asks, mostly because he wants to keep hearing Taehyung talk.
"How much you like it," Taehyung says easily.
Jungkook moans, he can't help it. Taehyung's fingers are completely overwhelming him, and he knows there's so much more to come, and on top of that, knowing that he's so obvious , that Taehyung knows how he's making him fall apart -- it's all so heavy and hot and crushing, devastating. He feels devastated, and it only gets stronger, takes over him even more, the more Taehyung touches him, talks to him, looks at him and wants him so much that Jungkook can feel it. He's greedy for it. He wants every drop.
"I do," he says. "I like it so much."
"You don't have to tell me," Taehyung says. "I know you do. I can feel it. I can smell it."
Jungkook's hands twist into the sheets, gripping them hard to try to keep himself grounded.
"You're opening for me so nice, Jungkook," Taehyung says, "like a pretty little omega."
Jungkook bites his lip hard, trying to hold back a whine. He doesn't quite manage to keep it in.
"But you're not an omega, are you?" Taehyung goes on.
There's something that's at once teasing and admiring about his tone, and Jungkook melts into it. In this moment, he's pretty sure he would be whatever Taehyung wanted him to be. If he wanted Jungkook to declare himself an omega for him, he would do it. But there's something so much better about this, the reality better than any fantasy or roleplay.
He isn't an omega. He's an alpha, and he's here anyway, on his knees for Taehyung with his legs spread and his ass open, so fucked out already that he can't even beg for the cock he wants so badly. They both know it.
"Are you?" Taehyung presses.
He crooks his fingers so that the pads of all three are pressed right to Jungkook's prostate and massages them there in hard, tight little circles. It isn't something Jungkook can do to himself, a completely new sensation that Taehyung is giving to him, and it fills him with a degree of arousal that he thinks must be entirely new too -- arousal, and a sudden swell of gratitude, like he's so thankful to Taehyung for making him feel this good.
Desperately, ruthlessly, he clings to the dregs of his self-control just to keep himself from babbling incoherently.
"No," he says, in response to Taehyung's question.
"No," Taehyung repeats. "And there's nothing little about you either."
As he says it, he brushes one fingertip of his free hand down the length of Jungkook's cock, where it hangs, neglected, between his legs. It jumps at the sudden contact and Taehyung laughs.
"Not as big as you," Jungkook says in a voice that's so breathless he barely recognizes it as his own. He doesn't even know what he's thinking at this point, only that he wants more , anything and everything that Taehyung will give him, anything he would put in him , Jungkook would take.
It makes Taehyung laugh again.
"You like that, hm?"
Fuck, Jungkook really, really does. Before he can try to collect himself enough to answer, though, Taehyung lifts most of the pressure off of him inside and this time Jungkook is startled enough that he can't even begin to trap the sound he makes behind his teeth.
He's also impossibly aware of the way his cock is leaking between his legs from the stimulation, and his whole body flames when it becomes obvious that Taehyung is aware of it too.
"Hmm," he says, and once again there's the lightest brush of just the tip of one finger at the sensitive head of Jungkook's cock. "Wet," he comments. "Leaking all over the place, Jungkookie. Messy."
He wiggles the fingers in Jungkook's hole in a way that definitely shouldn't feel as good as it does.
"You're all wet in here too," he says. "Wet and hot."
Jungkook can't help the way he clenches down on Taehyung's fingers. He's so ready for more and his body doesn't understand why there isn't more to be had.
"You're going to feel so good on my cock," Taehyung tells him. His voice gives away how affected he is, but his tone is easy, casual, as though it isn't a big deal to him that Jungkook is splayed out for him on the bed, squirming on his fingers.
"Give it to me then," Jungkook says, letting just a little bit of an edge creep into his voice, though it isn't lost on him how it mostly sounds like a demanding whine, rather than a powerful, forceful demand from an alpha.
"Oh?" Taehyung says, clearly amused. "You want it?"
"You know I do," Jungkook bites out.
"Then you should ask nicely, Jungkookie."
How Taehyung manages to sound almost cute talking like that, with that voice, is beyond Jungkook, but he's past the point of trying to make sense of the way Taehyung moves through the world acting like he's got the capacity to be anything and everything another person might want.
"Fuck," Jungkook hisses against the mattress as Taehyung starts massaging his prostate again, coaxing him to give him what he wants.
It isn't that he doesn't feel the resistance to it. He feels it, the way his instinct fights to still his tongue. It's only that the rest of him wants this so badly, and he's come so close to getting it, that nothing is going to stop him now.
"Fuck," he says again, this time at the realization that this is happening, that even he himself isn't strong enough to stop it now. " Please ," he chokes out. Before Taehyung has the chance to tease him further, he says, "Please fuck me. Please give me your cock. Please just -- put that thing in me already."
Taehyung laughs again, but this time it sounds like a veritable giggle and Jungkook feels something that is embarrassingly like a flutter in his chest.
"I'm not sure that was very nice," Taehyung says. "But you did say please."
Jungkook hears the tell-tale crinkle of a condom wrapper being torn open and dimly, he registers an out of place sense of disappointment.
He tells himself he should just be glad, even grateful, that Taehyung had thought of that, because it had been the furthest thing from his mind. He’d been entirely too occupied by the idea of being pumped full of Taehyung's come -- a thought he's suddenly desperately glad to have kept to himself.
He has no idea what's happening to him, can't remember ever thinking something like that before, even in his most helplessly horny moments fucking himself on one of those toys Taehyung had been so interested in earlier.
Taehyung must put the condom on with one hand, because his fingers don't leave Jungkook's ass for more than a second before Jungkook feels the head of his cock right there .
All of his previous attitude abandons him. Taehyung pauses there for just a second too long and Jungkook whines, pushes back against him, tries to get Taehyung's cock to breach his hole on his own, but of course it doesn't work.
Taehyung puts his hands on Jungkook's waist and stills him. He wants this so badly and suddenly it feels like he's been made to wait for so long. It isn't fair. He screws his eyes up tight to try to hold back the wave of emotion that threatens to drown him.
"Aww," Taehyung coos, like the fact that Jungkook is so overwhelmed by how badly he wants to get fucked is just cute to him -- silly, pathetic.
At least it has the effect of making Taehyung finally take pity on him. He nudges forward so slowly that Jungkook almost finds it in himself to snap at him again, to tell him to hurry the fuck up. However, the ability to say anything is snatched away from him almost as quickly as it occurs to him to make such a command.
Even with just the head of Taehyung's cock inside, Jungkook already feels like it's too much. It hurts , more than he's used to, because Taehyung is just bigger than he's used to, and that thought affects him in ways it really probably shouldn't.
He feels his eyes literally roll back and he presses his face more firmly into the mattress to try to preserve what little shreds of dignity he has left.
Taehyung's hands squeeze at his waist and he says, "You have to try to relax." He sounds as strangled as Jungkook feels.
Jungkook tries to snap that he knows, that he's trying, but all that comes out when he opens his mouth is an absolutely wrecked moan.
Taehyung gives him time though, to figure it out, and he does his best. It's hard to think straight -- hard to think at all -- and suddenly he's so sure that if he hadn't done this before, he would be hopeless now.
But he has done it, he loves this, and he's familiar enough with the demands of his own body that he's able to finally drag himself back. He takes a deep breath in and slowly releases it. As he does, he feels his body unlock from his neck to his shoulders, and then down his spine in a slow wave until his hips are sinking even deeper into position.
Behind him, he hears Taehyung sigh and he knows that the grip his body has on his cock has at least loosened somewhat, enough for him to inch forward a little further.
"That's good, Jungkook," Taehyung tells him. "That's really good."
Jungkook forces himself to keep breathing, which unfortunately also means that he can't lock down the constant stream of little sounds spilling from his throat, but he can hear Taehyung now too, his own breathing harsh in the stillness of the room.
Taehyung swears as he presses in a little further, and then Jungkook hears the cap of the lube again. At first he wants to tell Taehyung not to bother, that he can take it, but he isn't really sure that he can. Besides, the thought of being as dripping wet as an omega has his cock leaking even more than it already was, so he bites his tongue.
The addition of even more lube helps Taehyung press the rest of the way inside in one long, smooth glide. As soon as they're held tight together at the hips, Taehyung makes a sound from deep in his chest that has Jungkook glowing with pride.
It isn't just that he clearly feels good , and that Jungkook is the one making him feel that way. It's that he's as stunned by the feeling as Jungkook is. Taehyung hasn't felt anything like this before either, Jungkook knows it -- he can smell it on him, his shocked, sudden pleasure.
Under other circumstances, he would gloat about it, revel in the praise, but speech is completely beyond him now, and that sense of bewildered gratitude is still coursing through his veins in a way that makes him not at all trust his own tongue to speak the words he would want it to say.
He's never felt so full before, so heavy, and he doesn't know what to make of the fact that this alone makes him feel right on the edge. Part of him feels like he could stay right here, just like this, forever. Another part of him is screaming to make Taehyung move immediately, right now, because he's pretty sure he'll die on the spot if he doesn't.
Taehyung's hands are hot and firm and comforting on his body. They hold Jungkook safely down.
"Fuck," Taehyung breathes, getting the point across succinctly.
Jungkook feels the unhinged urge to giggle, except that he's too breathless to make a sound.
They're still for a long moment. It's intense, the feeling that they're locked together but unable to move because if they were to try, they would lose themselves completely.
It's entirely different and yet unavoidably similar to the sensation of being locked into someone's body by his knot, and the inevitable comparison makes Jungkook shake as he tenses all over again.
Taehyung hisses a breath in through his teeth.
"Jungkook," he says in a tone that's nearly scolding, and it raises Jungkook's hackles immediately, but he’s so helpless to do anything about it that the feeling becomes just another part of the experience.
"You have to relax," Taehyung insists.
Jungkook is able to find the will do to as Taehyung tells him both because he doesn't want this to end too early, and because he can hear in Taehyung's voice how much he's struggling too -- struggling to stay in control when Jungkook is so tight around him, struggling to stay calm when all of his instincts are telling him to fuck and claim and bite.
It takes them a moment, but finally they breathe together enough in the stillness of the room to synchronize with one another. Their breathing evens out, and their bodies find a way not to be in opposition to each other, but to meld together.
They don't need to force it, finally; they melt into one another, as though there isn't anything left in them that forces them apart.
Finally, Taehyung is able to move. He still starts slow, letting them both adjust. He keeps his hands firm on Jungkook's waist and uses his grip to move Jungkook too, rocking him back against his body in a way that's slow but not quite careful and Jungkook finds himself using the leverage of being on his knees to push back into it.
When Taehyung picks up the pace for the first time, they both gasp together. Jungkook's knuckles are white where his hands are gripping tight in the bedding.
His whole body feels hot and tight, and there's a river flowing through him that's made of the most enticing ache, an edge of pain that he isn't used to and that he can't help enjoying. It makes the experience sharper, more dynamic, more involved. There's simply more to it, and Jungkook always wants more.
Nothing about this is the soft, taffy feeling of hooking up with an omega. Jungkook isn't melting, he's on fire.
"Fuck, Jungkookie, you feel so good," Taehyung tells him, and he moves a little quicker now, fucking Jungkook just that little bit harder, like he can't resist.
Jungkook wants to tell Taehyung that he feels good too, because he does -- he feels so good that Jungkook can't even form the words to tell him. Instead when he opens his mouth, his tongue is formless and the only sound that comes out is a broken moan that sounds like it's been punched out of him.
Somehow that makes Taehyung laugh again, and even though he's currently buried in Jungkook's ass, he coos at him like Jungkook is the sweetest thing he's ever seen.
"It's okay," he says. His own voice is breathy and the words almost stutter out of his mouth, betraying the calm, cool tone he's aiming for when he says, "You don't have to tell me. I know, baby."
Jungkook doesn't quite get his teeth in his lip fast enough to mask the way the pet name makes his breath catch.
He can hear the grin in Taehyung's voice when he says, "Oh, you like that -- pup ?"
"No," Jungkook manages to grit out by force of will alone, but it doesn't matter because he's not fooling either of them. Taehyung has the grace not to respond, instead simply tightening his grip on Jungkook's waist slightly and then shifting his hips a bit, adjusting the angle, before fucking him even harder than before.
Jungkook chokes on the sudden intensity and distantly he's aware that this new angle must allow Taehyung to better abuse his prostate, but really, the sudden wash of new pleasure over his entire body leaves him unable to think much of anything.
For the first time, his mind drains of all coherent thought, all at once. The only knowledge he possesses is the knowledge held in his body, and his body wants .
If he could say a word, it would be more -- more Taehyung, more everything. But he can't speak, so instinct takes over and his body speaks for him.
He sinks even deeper into the mattress, pressing back further, opening himself up to Taehyung even more. He adjusts his grip on the sheets, moving his hands from being close to him to instead resting nearer to his shoulders.
At the same time, he tips his head to the side, exposing his shoulder, his neck, giving Taehyung his throat like it's the most natural thing in the world, like it doesn't cost him anything, like it doesn't even grate against his instincts to do it, because he doesn't feel any of that.
He only feels a deep-seated, pulsing need low in his body: to have Taehyung everywhere, all over him, to make it last, to make that misty-morning-sweet scent of him a part of Jungkook too.
Taehyung swears again and in a second he's draped over Jungkook's body, face pressed snugly into the juncture of his shoulder, nosing at his scent gland in a way that should make Jungkook want to fight him but instead only makes him breathe that much harder.
Taehyung has to slow down in order to scent him properly, but it doesn't even matter in the wake of the wave of euphoria that races through Jungkook at the sensation.
Without even meaning to, he finds himself releasing his grip on the sheets with one hand to instead thread his fingers into Taehyung's hair, holding him close, holding him in place, until they're both all but trembling.
Taehyung slows down until he's merely grinding against Jungkook, into him, their bodies pressed as tightly to each other as they can get them. His breath is hot against Jungkook's neck, and then his ear as Taehyung stops scenting him to whisper to him instead.
"You're perfect like this, Jungkook-ah," he says. "Spread out and open for me. Be nice to keep you like this."
Jungkook grits his teeth to keep himself from doing something embarrassing, like moaning, or agreeing with him. Taehyung's voice is wrecked by the effort he's putting in, and by how turned on he is, but his tone is almost conversational, and something about that makes Jungkook feel ridiculously hot.
It's only made worse when Taehyung goes on to say, "Bet you'd make a good rut partner, hmm?"
The thought of that -- being holed up with Taehyung for days when everything in him clamors for him to grab and take, when maybe he wouldn't have the presence of mind to be quite so patient and understanding as he has been today -- makes Jungkook see rainbow lights behind his eyes, and he loses the battle to keep the sounds trapped in his throat on lockdown.
And the thing is, he would -- he knows he would.
Who knows better than Jungkook does himself just what makes a rut so challenging? Who better knows all the ways it can be painful or difficult, and so who would be in a better position to help?
Plus he can't deny the way he goes loose and needful under Taehyung when he imagines how he would have to keep himself prepped and ready to use at any moment when the need struck, as wet and open as an omega rut partner would be.
Suddenly he wants that, badly, and he clamps down on his bottom lip to keep himself from babbling broken pleas to be allowed to be Taehyung's pliant little hole for several days.
Fuck, he's a mess.
It doesn't seem to matter that he isn't saying any of it out loud. It's like Taehyung knows exactly what he's thinking. He goes back to nuzzling at Jungkook's scent gland, the slow, steady grind of his hips against Jungkook's ass filling him with lightning sparks of pleasure.
"I bet you'd see it as a challenge," Taehyung says. "I bet you'd like that. I would like it too."
It's true. He sounds breathless as he says it, like the thought of it is getting to him just as much as it's getting to Jungkook.
Between that and the pleasant buzzing feeling spreading through him again with Taehyung tucked against his shoulder, nuzzling at his neck like it's the most important thing in the world – and then at the heart, the heavy feeling of him inside, the slow, restless grinding that makes Jungkook feel like every nerve in his body is awake and burning – the pleasure building in his body starts to coalesce, gathering and reforming itself, until Jungkook only realizes what's happening when it's already too late to stop it.
Instinctively, he tries to close his legs, even just a little bit, to hide it. It's a mistake. Taehyung immediately realizes what he's doing and pulls away from where he's still lazily scenting him to instead look at his face.
Jungkook's eyes are already squeezed shut, as though he can block out his own humiliation if he can't see Taehyung's reaction to it.
It doesn't work, of course, because as soon as Taehyung realizes Jungkook isn't telling him to stop, he starts trying to figure out what else could have Jungkook reacting this way.
It doesn't take him long to figure it out. Jungkook feels Taehyung's hand between his legs, and then he feels the grin Taehyung suppresses against his shoulder.
"Jungkookie," he says, his voice so deep and soft that Jungkook would almost be able to sink into it entirely if he didn't feel so damn embarrassed.
He's definitely laughing though, laughing at Jungkook even if it is in a sweet way, and somehow that makes both the embarrassment worse and the heat in Jungkook's body burn that much brighter and hotter.
"Did you pop a knot for me?" he asks, obviously amused.
There's no point denying it, so with his lip still firmly between his teeth, and his eyes still squeezed so tightly shut that even the brightness of Taehyung's smile can't reach him, he nods.
The thing is, forming a knot is pretty rare outside of a rut already, and not only is it indicative of an alpha being immensely turned on, the idea of someone forming a knot without actually having anywhere to put it is a bit unheard of. Not like, they should stop and go to the emergency room level of unheard of, but definitely get teased for the rest of time unheard of.
For the first time in several minutes, he lifts himself off of Jungkook, pulling away from his exposed neck to get a better view of the rest of him -- and to get a firmer grip on Jungkook's cock. Jungkook peeks at his expression and finds it delighted and fond.
It's the first time since the start that he's actually touched Jungkook’s cock properly, and Jungkook barely manages to keep himself on his knees rather than folding and falling against the mattress.
He's never had a knot without fucking someone before, and it's making him feel a little a wild, almost delirious. He doesn't know what to do with himself, and suddenly the feeling of being too hot is reaching almost rut-level proportions too. He wouldn't be surprised to find that he has an actual fever, and if he hadn't just had a rut a few months earlier, he might be worried that this encounter is sending him hurtling early into his next one.
He's grateful for Taehyung's firm grip back on his waist because without it he thinks he might collapse. He feels dizzy.
It's completely overwhelming. He's subsumed by his own pleasure. He feels on edge, like he's going to fly apart, and there's no way to gather himself back together because his body's needs are taking over.
He's beyond instinct now, into base drives that he can't even make sense of. Everything he would normally do, everything that, under typical circumstances, his body would do all on its own, he can't do now.
There's no one to hold against him, no one and nothing to bury himself inside, there's so much need coursing through his blood and he has nowhere to put it all.
It feels like he's spiraling out of control, almost out of consciousness, and taking over the place of thought or even unspoken will is a swell of emotion: frustrated and impotent.
He needs but he can't take, and his body doesn't know what to do.
He only realizes that he's babbling broken pleas into the mattress when Taehyung shushes him, running the warm palm of his hand down Jungkook's spine and then across his hip. It's enough to bring him back to himself a little bit, and to at least regain some control of his tongue.
"Please," he manages to say, even if he does choke on it. "Please, please, please, alpha ."
The word slips out in a whine before Jungkook has the chance to bite it back. It's simply the right word, the only word, and he doesn't have the wherewithal to think better of it because he isn't able to think much at all.
Taehyung doesn't respond at first.
For half a second, a wild flare of anxiety rises in him: that he's overstepped somehow, that Taehyung will be upset with him, that he won't understand what it is that Jungkook needs so badly, which is a terrifying thought because Jungkook knows he would struggle to find the words, and then struggle even more to speak them aloud.
He doesn't even know what it is exactly that he's asking for, only that he feels so hot he's going to melt into the mattress, and Taehyung feels so good inside him but there's something missing, something wordless that he needs and he doesn't know how to ask for it because he can't even explain what it is.
But he doesn't need to explain. Taehyung knows -- Taehyung knows exactly what it is to feel this good but still need something more, of course he does. He's been in the same place before himself.
"It's okay," he says, in that voice which washes over Jungkook and feels so soothing all of a sudden.
His body is sparking wildly between feeling so good and cared for in a way that's entirely new to him, and then being so turned on and aimless that it actually hurts.
"It's okay," Taehyung says again, "I've got you."
And then he does. The hand on Jungkook's hip skims lightly down between his legs and his long fingers wrap in a firm grip around his knot.
Jungkook's orgasm bursts inside him like sudden sun through a blanket of gray cloud, light and bright and life-affirming. It takes over his entire body, suffusing every inch of him with warm, white, mind-numbing pleasure. It feels like sinking into a hot tub on a cool day, and it tingles across Jungkook's skin, lighting him up from the inside out.
He's only dimly aware of Taehyung still moving inside him, still gripping him in one tight fist, or even of the fact that he's coming across the bed and his own belly and Taehyung's hand without stopping.
All of it simply comes together to create one long, drawn-out tide, ebbing and flowing through him, carrying him away from such unimportant things as time and exhaustion to instead allow him to float and drift on the waves of pleasure buoying him.
It takes a long time to start to come down. A knot will do that to a person, although Jungkook has never experienced it in quite this way before.
As he drifts back to himself, the first thing he realizes is that Taehyung is still pressed tight against him, and that he's trembling slightly.
There's a shiver to his body which is subtle but Jungkook can feel it because of how close they still are. The next thing he notices is that Taehyung still has his fingers wrapped around Jungkook's knot, though he isn't gripping it quite so tightly anymore.
It feels good, a steady pressure that sends warm little sparks of happy pleasure up through his back and into his thighs, radiating all the way down into his fingers and toes.
It's only now that his mind is clearing that he's able to understand that this is what he had needed so badly, and Taehyung had understood it intuitively because he's an alpha too. He had understood, and even when Jungkook hadn't been able to put what he needed into words, Taehyung had been there for him.
And he's still there now, mimicking the sensation of being locked in something by keeping his hand on Jungkook's cock. The overwhelming sense of gratitude sweeps over him again and Jungkook mumbles a quiet thank you against the sheets where his face is unceremoniously mushed.
Taehyung laughs a little, but the sound is strained, and that's when the final piece of crucial information finally occurs to Jungkook, which is that Taehyung is still inside him.
"You said that," Taehyung says, in a voice that's amused and also something close to pained.
Jungkook flushes at the realization that he's apparently been thanking Taehyung right along without even noticing. He finds the strength to turn slightly, looking back over his shoulder to see Taehyung's face.
His eyes are closed and his plush, pink bottom lip is caught between his teeth. He's leaned over at an awkward angle so that he can keep his hand on Jungkook's knot. He's glowing, and even though Jungkook knows it's probably just because there's sweat sparkling at his hairline from exhaustion, he can't find it in himself to argue against his more romantic sensibilities when he still has endorphins coursing through him.
"Tae?" he asks.
He hears the wariness in his own voice, and Taehyung must hear it too because he opens his eyes even though it looks like it's difficult for him. Jungkook realizes that he's been pretty out of it for the last little while.
Suddenly, it occurs to him, horrified, that maybe Taehyung hasn't come yet, that maybe he's been holding on, waiting this whole time, and that's what has him so shaky. He bites his lip and realizes that it's wet. He shifts a little to wipe his mouth with the back of his hand. When he moves, Taehyung sucks in a sharp breath and Jungkook is worried all over again.
"Tae," he says, "did you not...?" but he can't bring himself to say it.
Taehyung understands him. He laughs, but it sounds forced.
"Oh I did," he says. He looks up to meet Jungkook's eyes, and when he does, he smiles.
The smile is the same one Jungkook has been watching from across the bar for months, open and easy and inviting. It's a smile that tells him he's already invited into the joke, even if he doesn't understand what it is yet, and it makes him feel warm in a way that's separate from the heat that's been devouring him all night.
"Just sensitive," Taehyung explains. "I didn't want to pull out until you were ready."
It's so sweet that Jungkook feels like he's losing control of himself all over again. He doesn't even know how long they've been here, Taehyung staying as still as he can with Jungkook's body no doubt tensing and clinging around him.
"It's okay," Jungkook says. "I'm good."
He realizes as he says it that he isn't entirely sure it's true. He's never been in this situation with another person before, and without the haze of arousal over him, he feels a sharp sense of vulnerability that he can't ignore.
"Are you sure?" Taehyung asks.
Jungkook is almost tempted to say no, to keep Taehyung here for a moment longer. This way he doesn't have to face the reality of what they've just done, doesn't have to find out how Taehyung will leave him, open and exposed on the mattress, in more ways than one.
For the first time, it occurs to him that he's given something of himself that he can't get back. He hasn't lost anything, maybe, but will this change the way Taehyung sees him? As a person, as an alpha?
But so far Taehyung has been nothing but patient, and now he's in some pain waiting for Jungkook to release him, so Jungkook decides to do what suddenly seems like the difficult thing and let him go.
"I'm sure," he says.
It turns out that he didn't need to worry. Taehyung pulls out carefully, and as soon as he's done, he doesn't immediately get up from the bed like Jungkook had feared he would. Instead he runs his hands up Jungkook's body until they find his waist again, and gently, he lowers Jungkook down to the bed, away from the considerable mess he'd made of the bedding.
He doesn't break contact, and somehow that feels like exactly what Jungkook needs, even though if anyone had asked him, he would have said he didn't care. He didn't think he would care, until it's happening and that sense of gratitude is in him again, warm as blood.
He doesn't know what's come over him. As much as he'd surprised himself basically every moment since walking through the door with Taehyung at his side, this is something else. He feels tender and sore inside and out, like his heart is too big for the small room of his chest.
His brow furrows in confusion or consternation, he doesn't even know, and then Taehyung's thumb is there, smoothing it again.
"Are you okay?" Taehyung asks.
His eyes are so big where they're trained on Jungkook's face, looking over him before meeting his gaze again. He's so handsome it's almost hard to think straight when Jungkook is looking right at him. He's distracting.
Jungkook nods.
"Are you sure?" Taehyung asks.
He's settled so he's sitting just on the edge of the bed with his hand resting on Jungkook's hip. He still hasn't broken contact a single time.
"I have to get up, but I'll be right back," he says. "Will you be okay for a second?"
Again, Jungkook nods, even though he isn't quite sure, because he doesn't know what else he can do.
It turns out that he is okay, at least mostly. Taehyung nods and gets up, and finally he has to remove his hand from Jungkook's body. Immediately cold starts to creep in, but Taehyung isn't gone for long.
Jungkook watches him, feeling strangely detached from himself, floating somewhere between swimmingly happy and vaguely distressed. He watches Taehyung cross the room, open the door, and disappear around the corner to the bathroom.
Within seconds, he's back in Jungkook's range of sight with a damp washcloth in one hand and a clean towel in the other.
He sits back down on the edge of the bed, and Jungkook lets him wipe the washcloth over his belly and thighs mostly because he feels so unmoored that he doesn't know what else to do.
Some sleepy part of him seems to think that this isn't right, that he should be the one cleaning them up, but since his limbs feel too heavy to move, even that part of him doesn't put up much of a fight.
Besides, it's sort of nice, he thinks, to lie here, sated and still buzzing across all his skin, watching Taehyung's face as he cleans the come from Jungkook's taut belly.
When he nudges Jungkook's thigh, Jungkook's first instinct is to clamp his legs shut and grab Taehyung's wrist to stop him, but he resists it, and then his second instinct is to let his legs fall open, granting Taehyung access -- he's already had it after all. Taehyung cleans him up and Jungkook feels his face go pink again, even though he would have thought himself beyond that by now.
When he's finished, Taehyung's eyes search the room for a laundry hamper, which he gets up to toss the washcloth into before coming back to the bed and laying the towel over the spot where Jungkook had been before. He settles himself on top of it.
"I'll help with your sheets after," he says. "Come here -- if you want."
Jungkook searches himself for any opposition to cuddling and finds none. Usually he can take it or leave it, or it depends on his mood or his current partner. Some people he feels naturally inclined to cuddle up with, while others, even if he likes them, he doesn't necessarily want touching him more than they have to.
With Taehyung, he finds a warm, content desire to be close, like the feeling of not wanting to break contact with him earlier. When he moves in closer though, he naturally falls on his back and reaches for Taehyung, pulling him in.
Taehyung doesn't seem bothered to be cradled up against Jungkook's chest. In fact he grins, and it's the wide, boxy grin Jungkook has seen a thousand times from across the bar, the one that makes him look friendly and approachable and a little goofy, and so, so handsome.
"How do you feel?" Taehyung asks once he's settled.
Jungkook thinks he catches a note of something tentative in his voice, but he isn't sure.
Taehyung traces the tip of one finger across Jungkook's body, drawing shapes against his skin.
Jungkook considers the question. He feels like he owes Taehyung honesty, after all that, and when he first starts to examine his own mental state, he expects to discover in himself a multitude of emotions.
He expects to feel conflicted: pleased, but also disappointed in himself to some extent. It isn't just an alpha's instincts they have to contend with, but pressures from outside themselves too.
Jungkook has spent his whole life being told how alphas are supposed to act, how they're supposed to feel and behave. Letting another alpha fuck him in his own bed definitely does not fit into that mold.
And yet, he doesn't feel any shame. He isn't embarrassed. Even when he had felt embarrassed, it hadn't been because of what he was doing.
Taehyung had never made him feel judged for any of it, only gently teased and assertively admired. The feeling itself had been pleasant in its own way, something he found himself enjoying a lot more than he would have thought.
In fact, nothing about this night has gone the way he'd originally assumed it would, and as he lies in his bed with his arm around Taehyung for the first time after so many months of what had seemed like hopeless pining, he finds that he truly doesn't have any regrets.
Added to the fact that his whole body feels loose and easy, still flowing with endorphins, his answer comes naturally.
"Really fucking good," he says. He feels the goofy grin on his face and he doesn't even care how ridiculous he probably looks right now.
He glances down in time to see Taehyung's matching smile before he ducks his head against Jungkook's chest again.
For a few minutes, they're quiet, and Jungkook basks. After so long, and so much agonizing, he's finally here, naked in bed with Taehyung of all people. That knowledge alone is enough to fill him with a sense of pride and contentment, even beyond the fact that the sex had actually blown his mind.
It's only when he starts to come down from all the chemicals that have been keeping him floating in the clouds that it finally occurs to him that they haven't talked about what this is.
On the surface, this has been nothing more than a hookup, the same thing Jungkook has lived through countless times before, with countless omegas and betas, a long line of single encounters that goes back since well before he'd ever laid eyes on Taehyung.
For the first time in a while, he starts to feel a coldness come over him, and he can't help gripping Taehyung a little tighter, holding him a little closer as though he can keep the world outside these walls, the reality of their lives, at bay.
He doesn't want to go back to fruitlessly staring at Taehyung from across the bar. He doesn't want to go back to hooking up with nameless strangers, not when he knows what this feels like, not when he finally knows what it means to have Taehyung in his arms and in his bed.
As though he can feel Jungkook's mounting anxiety through their physical contact, Taehyung chooses this moment to speak.
He brushes the warm palm of his hand across Jungkook's abs idly, like he hardly even realizes he's doing it, and he says, "You felt so good, Jungkookie, really." He trails his hand down from Jungkook's belly to instead wrap his fingers loosely around Jungkook's cock, lightly enough that it only feels sensitive instead of painful.
"But next time, I want this big, needy cock inside me."
"Next time?" Jungkook can't help asking, perking up immediately even as his cheeks blush at Taehyung's particular word choice.
"Of course!" Taehyung says, looking up at him with his eyes so big and warm Jungkook feels like he could fall right into them. "I'm not giving you up now!"
He's so emphatic about it that it's almost silly, definitely cute, and yet the sudden promise of a next time has Jungkook feeling a little guilt mixed in with his excitement and relief.
Suddenly the situation that had gotten him here -- Jimin's challenge and the bet with his friends -- seems weightier than it had before. It may have just been a dumb game when he'd only been planning on hooking up with Tae, but if this is going to be more than that, he knows he needs to come clean.
"There's something I should tell you," Jungkook says. He tries to sound confident but he knows some of his anxiety is creeping into his voice.
"What," Taehyung says, "you're not going to let me ride that thing now or something? I mean, I know I'm good, Jungkook, but I'm not ‘converted forever’ good."
Jungkook laughs but it doesn't relieve the tension.
"The thing is," he says, “you know how I mentioned my friend made a comment about the kinds of people the rest of us hook up with? It was a bit more than that. I kind of hit on you because of a bet to see who could sleep with another alpha. Not that that's the only reason I did it! But I just figured you should know if, you know, we're going to do this again. And I want to. Do this again, I mean."
He forces himself to stop talking. For a long moment he can't bring himself to look at Taehyung.
"Jungkook," Taehyung says.
Jungkook is suddenly so sure that Taehyung is going to say that he never wants to see him again that he simply doesn't open his eyes. Maybe he'll never open them again so that he never has to see Taehyung leave.
"Jungkook," Taehyung says, a little more insistently, and damn Jungkook can't really say no to him at this point.
He opens his eyes. Taehyung is grinning at him.
"I know about the bet," he says.
"Huh?" Jungkook isn't even surprised. He's just sure he's misheard somehow.
"I know about the bet," Taehyung says again, and this time his smile is so big there's no denying that he looks downright delighted.
"You knew about it?" Jungkook asks.
Taehyung bites his lip, looking suddenly shy, after everything.
"It was my idea," he says. "I told Jimin to say it."
Jungkook gapes at him. He must look as stunned as he feels because Taehyung slaps lightly at his chest.
"It was the only way to get you to stop staring from across the room and make a move!" he says.
Jungkook stares at him for another few seconds before the full weight of what he's saying sinks in, and then all he can do is laugh. He doesn't know if he should be annoyed or offended, but he pulls Taehyung a little closer, and all he can find it in himself to feel is perfectly sated and delightfully endeared.
He flips them suddenly so that he's looming over Taehyung, pressed beneath him on the mattress, and he leans in to playfully nip at the tender flesh just beneath his ear. When he pulls back, Taehyung's eyes are wide and he has the prettiest flush high on his cheeks.
"I'll forgive you," Jungkook says, "as long as we don't have to wait for 'next time.'"
It looks like it takes a moment for Taehyung's mind to clear, but when it does, he grins again.
"I'm down if you are," he says with a quirk of one challenging eyebrow, "alpha."