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“James, I’m sorry. I had to take it. They were going to kill me. But you don’t have to remember all this.”
“Reg, what are you doing? I want to have these memories. The memories of us.”
“I’m sorry James, but they will only cause you more pain. When I’m a full-fledged Death Eater, we can’t be together. I love you too much to let you live with this pain.”
“Regulus please…” James begged.
“Obliviate.”
Regulus turned away. He didn’t look back. He didn’t want to see the glassy look in his eyes, the person who no longer knew him, no matter how much he wanted James to know him.
…
“Kreacher. Take the locket and destroy it. Go, leave me here.”
“Master Regulus, Krecher must not allow you to die.”
“Kreacher, I said go.”
Regulus heard a pop and knew that Kreacher had left. He was alone besides the inferni pulling him under the water. He felt their nails scratching against his skin. He knew that they were drawing blood. He didn’t really think about fighting back. He was so tired of life, and if his time had come then he wasn’t going to fight it.
All he could think about was how his friends would react to the news. Dorcas would be so mad at him. She had always told him that being a Death Eater would get him killed. She would be mad that she was right. Evan would be sad but he would do his best to be there for Barty. Pandora would be devastated, but she would probably also feel guilty that she wasn’t here for him. Barty would probably be mad at everyone and everything. Regulus hoped that Evan could be there for him.
He knew that Lily and Remus would be sad but they would get over it rather quickly. They would just try to be there for Sirius.
He was unsure of how Sirius would react. Would he be mad, sad? Sirius would probably just do what he did with Regulus his whole life: ignore him. He would just ignore the fact that Regulus was dead. He would avoid the subject until he got used to it.
He wished he didn’t know how James would react. James would just try and be there for Sirius. He would only know what Sirius had said about him. He didn’t remember Regulus, he didn’t remember their love. He loved James but James would never know. That was Regulus’ last thought as the water filled his lungs and the light in his eyes slowly disappeared.
…
James fell to the ground, clutching his head. He was aware of Sirius and Remus by his side, calling him, but there was nothing they could do. The pain was too much. James felt as though a dam had just broken in his head. The memories were like a flood, destroying everything in their path. He didn’t know why he had these memories, or who was the boy he was with in all of them. As the deluge slowed a single name came to mind.
“Regulus.”
James had said his name out loud. Why he had all these memories with Sirius’ little brother he was still unsure of, but it felt like these memories were filling the gaps from his fifth and sixth year. He tried concentrating on a single memory.
He was in the library sitting next to Regulus. The boy looked stunning with his curly black hair illuminated by the sun’s rays. James was there too. He looked like he was either sixteen or seventeen years old. He was just staring at the younger Black brother who seemed completely immersed in the book he was reading. All of sudden he reached out to hold the boy’s hand. Regulus looked up and gave him a small smile. Even now, when James was older and had no idea why he knew Regulus, he wanted to keep that smile on the boy’s face forever. James switched to a different memory.
It seemed like he and Regulus were arguing. He concentrated more and could make out the words:
“James, I’m sorry. I had to take it. They were going to kill me. But you don’t have to remember all this.” Regulus had tears streaking down his face.
“Reg, what are you doing? I want to have these memories. The memories of us.”
“I’m sorry James, but they will only cause you more pain. When I’m a full-fledged Death Eater, we can’t be together. I love you too much to let you live with this pain.”
“Regulus please…” James begged.
“Obliviate.”
Regulus turned away. He didn’t look back, and James finally understood. He and Regulus had been in a relationship for two years, before Yule of his seventh year when Regulus had been forced to take the Dark Mark. In an attempt to protect him, and make sure that he did not suffer, Regulus had obliviated him. He had retrieved these memories too late. It was pretty obvious to James that the only reason the charm had broken was because Regulus had died.
James cried. He couldn’t do anything else. He knew that deep in his heart, that he would never love somebody else the way he loved Regulus. And now the love of his life was dead. So James cried, until there were no more tears. He never told Sirius, or Remus or any of his other friends. It was a secret that he hid in his heart, in a place that no one would ever find again.
…
“Lily, get Harry and go! I’ll hold him off.” James yelled as he heard the click of the lock.
He and Lily had started dating in 1980 and had Harry. They technically never had gotten married. In some way they had both known that the other's heart did not belong to them. Lily’s heart would always belong to Pandora, but she had disappeared right after the war started. He knew that Lily was not oblivious to the fact that he was hiding a secret but neither of them was willing to open up the box of secrets that stood between them, so it never moved, never grew, never diminished. Lily and he were great friends, they were never meant to be anything more. Maybe they both hoped that they could use the other to heal their broken hearts.
James might not love Lily in that way, but she was still family. He still loved her. And he would protect those he loved until his dying breath. So James Potter fell, like a marionette who’s strings had been cut. As his soul left his body, he saw a young boy, no older than twenty. He looked shocked and sad to see James.
“No, you aren’t supposed to be here. You were supposed to live a long, happy life-” The boy looked like he was going to continue talking but before James could stop himself, a name slipped out of his mouth.
“Reg…” Regulus looked up at him with a shocked stupor.
“Yo-, you remember me?” It seemed more like a question than a statement, even though Regulus obviously knew the answer.
“Since the moment you died.” James answered. The younger boy looked like he was about to start panicking again so James stepped forward and gave him a gentle kiss. It only lasted a second but James felt fireworks between them.
“Reg, I am so glad I remembered you. My only regret is that I remembered you too late.”