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His job has never been the easiest. While it may seem trivial, it really wasn't. The life of an idol, contrary to appearances, did not always mean only benefits. Sure, there are plenty of benefits among them, but outsiders tend to focus only on them. Felix has seen on more than one occasion how demanding the job is. Constant stress, accompanying insomnia and lack of appetite were his daily routine. Not to mention the rigid restrictions imposed by the label that practically deprived him of his social life. Felix couldn't remember the last time he had been in a real relationship with another person.
Still, he loved his job. He felt that being on stage made him happy. This was his place.
He loved interacting with fans and seeing their support. He thought he was incredibly lucky to have people around him who admired and respected him.
What he didn't realize was that there is a very fine line between love and obsession.
***
"What is this?" his manager asked, pointing to the letter Felix held in his hand.
"It's nothing..." said the blonde, obviously flustered.
"Tell me the truth. Is this another one of those letters?" the man pressed.
Felix nervously shook his head. His hands trembled as they clenched the piece of paper.
“Give it to me,” said the manager firmly, approaching the boy.
At the same time, Felix hid the letter behind his back, not wanting to worry his manager with trivial matters. It wasn't the first time he'd received a threatening letter. He got used to them.
However, despite the boy's stubbornness, the man was able to snatch the letter from his hand. He read it silently, his face getting more and more contorted with each sentence.
After a moment he looked at Felix, but he avoided eye contact.
“Felix…” the man began very slowly, not knowing what to say in this situation. “Do not believe a single word contained in this letter. It's a load of crap."
In one moment he wanted to tear up this piece of paper and get rid of it, but he had come to his senses. This letter may come in handy later. Maybe the police won't be able to trace the culprit by handwriting, because the letter was written by a computer, but there is a chance that they will find it through fingerprints…
“We have to do something about it. This cannot happen again.”
“W-wait…what are you going to do?” Felix asked, clearly stressed.
“I will contact management and together we will decide what to do next,” the man said. "Don’t worry, everything will be fine. We'll deal with it somehow."
Felix nodded, but not very convincingly. It was obvious he was struggling with his thoughts. He knew that the person who wrote the letter most likely had no good intentions, but nevertheless admitted that he was once his fan… What if other fans find out about this situation and they get scared that they won't be able to write to him anymore? Felix wouldn't take it.
Suddenly, he was pulled out of his raging thoughts by the voice of the manager, who had already gone outside and was currently talking on the phone. Felix, bewildered and still concerned, walked quietly to the door and put his ear to it.
“I'm telling you, this wasn't your typical threatening letter. This time there's really something going on."
Felix didn't know who his manager was talking to.
“It was disgusting”
At these words, Felix involuntarily shuddered. He had never heard his manager speak in such a tone.
“Yeah, okay,” the man said after a moment of silence. "We can do that. It's probably the best solution in this situation."
Another moment of silence.
“Mmm, sure. I'll come over later to discuss the details with you. See you"
When Felix realized that the conversation was over, he quickly moved to the other end of the room and pretended to be busy. Moments later, the door to the room opened and the manager walked in.
“Felix?” the man began, letting out a deep sigh. It was obvious he was tired of talking on the phone.
"Yes?" the boy asked, not betraying that he had heard part of the conversation.
"We've decided to give you protection," the man said.
“How is it? I already have bodyguards...
“Yes, but their job is to protect you during various events. We need someone to keep an eye on you even outside of working hours, you understand?”
Felix nodded silently. He wasn't convinced by the idea, but if the manager believed it would help, Felix decided to trust him.
"I'm glad you agree. It really makes things easier. After all, it's about your safety..."
"I get it, don't worry," replied the boy. “When will I meet him?”
“If all goes well during the interview, then today”
"So quickly?"
“I know it's quite unexpected, but it turned out that a relative of my friend works as a private security guard. It was recommended to me, so I think it's worth a try”
"Okay," Felix nodded again.
The manager approached the boy and put his hand on his shoulder, trying to reassure him.
"That's all for today, you can go home now. I'll take care of the rest"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, for sure. Rest. It was a hard day"
Felix hesitated no longer. He was really tired and right now all he wanted to do was go home and go to sleep.
“Till tomorrow then!”
Felix said goodbye to his manager, then left the room and made his way back to his home.
***
When Felix reached the house, he noticed that the garden gate was slightly ajar. This worried him, but he decided not to become paranoid just because he had received a strange letter today. He must have pressed the door too tight when leaving the house, so it didn't close properly. It could have happened to anyone and was completely normal. The usual carelessness and haste, that's all.
As he entered the property, he made sure he locked the gate securely this time. When he heard the typical "click", he breathed a sigh of relief. The lock was working, which meant that Felix was at fault through his inattention.
Even so, when he entered his home, he felt a strange uneasiness. It was as if someone was watching him.
"I'm really starting to imagine things that aren't there..." Felix said to himself.
He sighed softly and went inside. Felix felt a little calmer as the hallway light came on automatically. He felt much better when it was light.
Even though the manager allowed him to come home early, he still didn't get to him until the evening. The drive from the recording studio usually took him a little over an hour, but today there was exceptional traffic and Felix was back later than usual.
Felix walked into his kitchen, dispassionately opened the fridge, then realized he didn't really have an appetite. He just reached for a bottle of orange juice and drank directly from it, not bothering to pour the drink into the glass. After all, he lived here alone anyway.
He left the rest of the juice on the kitchen counter, telling himself he would hide it later. He used to do that all the time and then completely forgot about it. He lacked more organization in his life.
He was really tired. He didn't have the strength to do anything else, so he quickly made his way to the bathroom and decided to wash himself. He threw his dirty clothes on the floor and jumped into the shower himself. Normally he preferred long baths in the tub, but this time he didn't trust himself and was afraid he might fall asleep, so he chose a shower.
He let the warm water wash over his body. He could feel how tense his muscles were, and the water helped him loosen them up a bit. It's very hard to massage yourself, maybe he should think about going for a Thai massage? It might help him.
Felix let his dreams take over so he didn't hear the sound of the door opening.
At the same time, a dark eye carefully watched the boy through the crack in the door. He watched as the blonde slowly massaged the lotion into his body, not missing any area.
When Felix finished applying the lotion, he reached for the bottle of conditioner. His hands were a bit greasy after the lotion, and the small bottle slipped out of his hands.
“Oh.” Felix let out a soft sigh before bending down to reach for the bottle.
He was unaware that a voracious eye was watching him, ready to devour him at any moment.
"You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?" the man thought.
"You're deliberately provoking me and testing my limits," the man licked his lips, fighting his predatory instinct. “It's not time yet…”
"But do not worry. We will meet soon. And I promise that then I will grant your every wish"
The bathroom door was gently closed, not making a sound this time. Thus, the gluttonous eye disappeared.
However, it was known that he would reappear.
***
When Felix came out of the bathroom wrapped only in a fluffy towel, he shivered in the cold. Still, he spent more time in the shower than he had anticipated. But he felt it was something he needed. But the hot water made him drowsier. He couldn't wait to jump into his warm bed and cover himself with a blanket.
He was heading towards his bedroom when he suddenly remembered something. So he quickly turned around and went to the kitchen.
"Wait..." he said quietly to himself.
At first glance, his kitchen looked the same as usual. Everything looked the same as always. Until Felix realized something was missing.
There was no orange juice on the counter.
“When did I hide it?” thought the boy, still sleepy. “I must have been so tired that I don't remember when I did it…”
With that in mind, Felix shrugged and decided not to worry about it. When he finally gets a good night's sleep, everything will be back to normal. Or so he hoped.
Once in his bedroom, he automatically threw himself on the bed. He rarely slept naked, but this time he really didn't have the strength to get dressed. He could feel his own bed sucking him in and not letting him out. It was far too comfortable. So comfortable that Felix didn't even notice when he fell asleep.
***
In the morning, he woke up to the sun shining through the blue curtains. He could feel the sunlight streaming through the window and gently warming his cheeks. He hadn't slept so well in a long time. It felt like yesterday's exhaustion had accumulated into a week, and he was finally able to get a good night's sleep. It was his day off, so he was going to sleep a little longer. He was about to turn over when he suddenly heard his phone ring. He sighed in frustration, then reluctantly reached for his phone. When he opened his sleepy eyes and saw the number of missed calls on the screen, he was terrified. He picked up the phone immediately.
“Mr. Kim? What happened?" Felix asked, probing the ground.
“Felix! Finally…” his manager said with obvious relief. “You don't even know how hard it is to reach you”
“I'm sorry about that…” Felix began. “After yesterday, I fell asleep almost as soon as I got home and didn't know you had called”
"...It's okay," but his tone didn't sound like it was okay at all. “It doesn't matter anymore. I figured you were asleep, so I moved the meeting to today."
“What meeting?” Felix asked.
"You don’t remember? Yesterday we talked about assigning you a bodyguard."
"Ah," said the boy. “I remember now”
“So,” continued Kim's manager. “We managed to complete all the formalities. You'll meet him today, he's a very decent man."
“How do you know that?”
“Well, I had a chance to talk to him. I wouldn't assign you someone I don't trust myself."
“I understand… I appreciate your concern and thank you.”
"You're welcome, Felix. It's my job," he said with obvious satisfaction in his voice.
After a moment of silence, the manager spoke up.
“Well, details such as the place and time of the meeting will be sent to you via SMS. Have a nice day Felix"
“Thanks again, see you on Monday, Mr. Kim”
When the conversation was over, Felix finally allowed himself a deep sigh. And he was enjoying his day off so much… In the meantime, he would have to meet someone directly related to his job. He wasn't happy about it, but if it was going to help…
After a while, he heard a notification of a new message. As promised, Mr. Kim sent him the location and other details of the meeting. He also briefly described the bodyguard's appearance, in case he hadn't noticed him.
Felix was feeling really weird about all this… it was like going to a blind date. Just thinking about it made him laugh bitterly, which he couldn't suppress.
“When was the last time I had a real date?”
Felix realized that would have to wait. Maybe he will be able to meet someone with whom he will be really happy. In the meantime, he should start getting ready, because there was an hour left until the meeting. Well, that's it for his weekend.
***
Felix looked completely different every day than on stage or on television. At work, he had to dress a certain way, and basically the stylists dressed him a certain way. In his profession, appearance was very important, no matter how vain it might seem. Therefore, days off were for him a kind of escape from all this artificial shell. He could then afford looser clothes and no makeup. Therefore, he was heading to the meeting in his most natural form; in a simple-cut sweatshirt in a shade of bottle green and plain fabric trousers. It was his favorite outfit: comfortable and very practical. He still had a baseball cap on his head, and dark glasses rested on his face. Felix wore them for fear of being recognized by fans.
He was supposed to meet his new bodyguard in a public place, so he decided to protect himself in this way just in case. After all, he didn't want to draw unnecessary attention to himself.
The weather was extremely lousy today. At first it was sunny, but as soon as Felix left the house, the sky was covered with black clouds. It was going to rain. However, the boy hoped it wouldn't come to that, because as usual he forgot his umbrella.
When Felix arrived at the place, it turned out that someone was already waiting for him. Someone, or (as he guessed) the new bodyguard. At first, the boy was afraid that he wouldn't be able to recognize him after a short description from the manager, but as soon as he saw him, he immediately changed his mind. The man himself looked like a celebrity. He had an aura of inaccessibility around him. Plus, his body… well, you could tell he'd put a lot of work into it.
Shit, thought Felix.
The boy approached the man hesitantly. Even though he had to deal with various celebrities in his job, he had never felt so… intimidated. It's been a long time since he'd seen someone who looked like he could kill someone with just a look. This impression, however, passed very quickly as soon as the man noticed Felix.
“Felix?” the man asked, smiling slightly.
Felix took off his glasses and nodded.
"Well, apparently my disguise wasn't good enough," the boy jokes.
The man's smile only widened.
“It's not the disguise's fault,” said the slightly curly-haired man. “You just have a celebrity aura around you”
"And who says that?" thought Felix.
"I'm Bangchan," he introduced himself, extending his hand to the boy. Felix grabbed it and instantly felt how strong and hard it was.
"And I'm Felix, as you probably already know," the boy smiled back.
Felix felt the man's grip tighten.
"I've heard a lot about you, Felix"
Felix let out a sound of surprise. Bangchan continued to hold his hand.
"Really? From who?"
“From your manager, of course. Before taking the job, I had to find out who I was dealing with,” the man replied, finally letting go of the boy's hand. “Shall we sit down?”
Felix agreed with a nod, and the two sat down at one of the tables. When Bangchan grabbed the menu card, he saw the blond man doing the same out of the corner of his eye.
"Well, I'd rather meet someone in person than learn from others," Felix said suddenly. “I don't like gossip”
The corner of Bangchan's mouth barely twitched.
"That's understandable," the man agreed. “You see, Felix… I'd like to meet you in person too. I'm glad it's reciprocated."
Just as the boy opened his mouth to answer, a young waitress appeared at their table, wanting to take their order.
“Are you ready to order?” she asked with a warm smile on her lips.
“You first,” Bangchan pointed at the boy.
"Gentleman found..." Felix mentally rolled his eyes, but he wasn't about to argue.
“Lemonade and a piece of cheesecake, please,” replied the boy.
“And for you?” This time she addressed Bangchan directly.
“A cup of espresso for me”
After the waitress took down the entire order, she thanked them and asked for patience before leaving the table.
“You don’t like desserts?” Felix asked, not realizing until the very end that he had said the question aloud.
“And you don't like coffee?”
"Not really. It's too bitter for me"
“Well, desserts are too sweet for me,” as he uttered these words, an involuntary smile appeared on the man's face.
Felix couldn't figure it out. But he'll succeed eventually. He won't give up that easily.
***
“I knew this would happen,” Felix said with a heavy sigh.
The weather really pissed him off. Just as he was about to go home, it must have fallen apart. If only it was a simple, light rain… it was a real downpour.
"You don't happen to have an umbrella?" Felix asked, addressing the man standing next to him directly.
“Unfortunately not,” said Bangchan.
Felix let out another, this time disappointed, sigh. Why did he have to be so unlucky? He really hated the rain...
He didn't want to come home in such a downpour. Just as he considered hailing a taxi, he heard Bangchan's voice.
“But I have a car” Felix immediately looked at the man with hope in his eyes. “It happens to be quite nearby”
"Really?!" Felix couldn't hide his enthusiasm.
Bangchan smiled at the boy's reaction.
“We just need to go through one intersection and we'll be there,” the man announced.
“Alright, let's go”
But as soon as Felix said those words, he instantly regretted them. As soon as they left the covered restaurant, the rain immediately took its toll. Despite the fact that they walked with a quick and energetic step, the rain did not give up.
“You know what, I changed my mind,” Felix suddenly said, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk, surprising Bangchan.
The man also stopped and looked questioningly at the boy.
"Let's run"
With those words, Felix really started to run. Bangchan was running right behind him, not believing his eyes. For some reason, seeing the boy running around made him laugh out loud.
When they ran through the intersection, they had to enter one alley where the parking lot began. Felix was still running, too focused on looking down, so he didn't notice the person coming from the other side. At the last moment, the boy realized that someone was coming towards him and he prepared himself for the collision, but it did not come. Felix slowly opened his eyes, which he had closed instinctively in fear of the impact of the fall.
“B-Bangchan?”
The man, not knowing when, managed to push the boy aside, protecting him from falling. However, one person fell to the ground. It was a hooded man walking straight at Felix.
“Um…are you okay?” Felix wanted to go over to the man to help him up. However, the moment he did, Bangchan blocked his way without saying a word.
Felix looked at the man in surprise and was about to ask him what he was doing, but at the last moment Bangchan's expression stopped him. A shiver ran down Felix's spine.
“I advise you to leave here right now,” Bangchan said coldly. Felix bristled even more, but after a moment he realized that these words were not directed at him, but at the man in the hood. “I might not be so nice later”
At these words, the hooded figure snorted softly and stood up, brushing off the ground. It didn't help much, however, because the man was covered in mud.
"For now…"
Felix was sure he had heard wrong. He was unable to verify it, because a moment later the figure disappeared from their sight, moving away at a fast pace. The man never looked back. It was as if he didn't want them to see his face.
It wasn't until the figure was far enough away and the emotions subsided that Felix realized he was soaked to the skin. He instantly shivered from the cold. He must have looked really pitiful because when Bangchan just looked at him, he let out a sigh before taking off his jacket and covering the boy with it. Felix involuntarily blushed at this strangely protective gesture. Bangchan could be terrifying one moment and act like a first-class gentleman the next. Felix really didn't understand him, but he wasn't going to question that. At least not now, when he really needed that warm jacket.
"Let's go on," said the man suddenly. “It's still a long way to the car and you're already shaking like jelly”
Felix couldn't argue with that, though he wanted to. Therefore, he nodded silently and this time followed where Bangchan led him.
When they got to the car, Bangchan immediately turned on the heating. Felix was surprised at how generous the man could be. He really appreciated it.
“Why did you react like that to that hooded dude?” Felix finally asked. It had been bothering him for a long time, so as soon as they started on their way, he decided to ask about it.
Bangchan was silent for a long time. His face showed no emotion, so Felix couldn't tell what he was thinking.
When the man finally decided to speak, Felix was more than surprised.
“The boy was suspicious,” the man said surprisingly quietly. He spoke the next words even more quietly, so that Felix had to lean in close to hear him. “You can't trust everyone you meet on the street, Felix”
Felix didn't understand what the man meant. After all, he only wanted to help him up, since he himself was (almost) the cause of his fall... Was there anything wrong with wanting to help?
Seeing that the boy is conflicted and fighting with his own thoughts, Bangchan decided to continue his argument.
“You might not have noticed because you weren't looking ahead, but I was watching him from the beginning. He didn't walk ahead of us all the time. It looked like he purposely popped out of the alley at the last moment to run into you,” Bangchan said. “I have seen such situations many times. He may have had a knife in his pocket, Felix"
Those words sent shivers down the boy's body. He had never considered that someone might actually want to hurt him before. Maybe this time the letter wasn't just a threat… Felix felt his entire body go rigid, too much air gathered in his lungs, and his hands began to shake. He couldn't catch his breath. He was scared. What if he comes back? What if he really gets his way this time?
When Bangchan noticed Felix's spiral, he stopped the car abruptly to the side of the road. There weren't many vehicles in the area where they were now. Therefore, the sound of rain hitting the roof of the car could be heard very clearly. For some reason, the sound was soothing to the boy.
"Felix, breathe" when Bangchan gave him the command, Felix almost laughed.
“You say it like it's that simple!”
“Look at me”
When Felix still didn't react, Bangchan unbuckled his belt in an instant, and then quickly grabbed the boy's chin, thus forcing him to look at him.
“Look. at. Me,” the man repeated clearly. “Breathe. Slowly"
The shock reaction, to the boy's surprise, really worked. With Felix so focused on staring into Bangchan's dark irises, he couldn't think of anything else. So he slowly followed the man's instructions.
"Inhale. Exhale” the men were so close now that Bangchan practically whispered the words in Felix's ear. "Very good"
Felix felt the man's warm breath on his cheek and instantly felt dizzy. What's going on with him? It's not his style. Was it Bangchan that had that effect on him…?
Just as Felix was about to reach out with his trembling hands to the man and pull him close, the man stepped back and buckled his belt back on. This instantly made Felix come to his senses. What got into him?!
Felix, feeling a red blush rise to his cheeks, ears and probably the whole neck, turned quickly towards the window and pulled the man's jacket more tightly around him. That didn't really help as Bangchan's jacket smelled heavenly. But at least now he didn't have to look at the man.
However, if he did, he would surely notice that the corner of Bangchan's mouth turned up.
"Well, now that you've calmed down, I assume I can drive you home?" the man asked after a moment, without a hint of mockery in his voice.
"..." Felix couldn't get the words out. He was still embarrassed by the whole situation.
“I didn't hear you,” the man urged.
Felix collected himself and answered in a stiff voice:
“Let's go now”
At that moment, the car started moving again.
The way back on rainy days took a little longer than usual. Because of the dangerously slippery surface, it was not worth rushing at breakneck speed. Anyway, they were in no rush. Felix felt really comfortable in the man's car. So comfortable that he didn't even notice as he fell asleep, wrapped in Bangchan's jacket, listening to the rain patter against the window.
***
He woke up only when he felt someone putting him to bed. For a good moment he didn't know what was going on, too tired to react. He forced his eyes open, but the room was too dark. He couldn't see the man's face.
"What's going on…?" Felix asked unconsciously.
"Shh" only when he heard the man's soothing voice did he calm down.
“Bangchan?”
“You were so tired that I had to carry you in my arms. I hope you don't mind," the man explained quietly.
"Thank you..." Felix whispered softly, still on the verge of dreaming and waking.
"Go on sleeping, I won't disturb you. See you tomorrow, Felix," the man said, straightening up to leave the room.
“W-wait… where are you going?” Felix asked, grabbing the man's wrist at the last second.
Bangchan stopped with his back to the boy. The only light that entered the bedroom was moonlight. Therefore, even if Bangchan turned to face the boy, he wouldn't see his expression.
"I'm going home, Felix," he said with a strange calmness in his voice.
"Can't you stay with me?" Felix asked, a little too pathetic by his standards, but he really didn't want to be left alone. "Please…"
Bangchan looked like he was fighting with his thoughts, but after a while he agreed to the boy's request.
"All right. If that's what you want..." he whispered, walking over to the boy's bed.
"Wait!" the boy suddenly woke up. "Not what I meant"
Felix pressed his hands against the man's chest with all his strength, trying to push him away. The boy felt powerless in the man's presence, because when he put all his strength to push him away, Bangchan seemed to do nothing.
When Felix was starting to get seriously stressed, Bangchan unexpectedly moved away from him, laughing under his breath.
"I know that's not what you meant," the man said, placing his hand on the boy's head as if he were an unruly child who needed discipline. “I was just teasing you”
“?!” Felix was too shocked to say anything.
"I'll sleep on the couch in the living room," he announced, then added "Good night, Felix."
And without waiting for an answer, he disappeared from the bedroom.
Felix had a strange feeling that he wouldn't sleep tonight after all.
***
When he woke up, it was already 12 o'clock. He slept an unusually long time today, but it was because he was unable to fall asleep during the night and kept tossing and turning. He was extremely thirsty right now. So he decided to go to the kitchen. What he saw left him stunned. He would hardly have screamed.
He completely forgot he let Bangchan stay the night. It's actually…he asked for it. He might have sunk to the ground in shame if not for the sight before him.
Bangchan was standing in his kitchen, probably preparing… breakfast? Lunch?
"Oh, you're finally up," the man said, sensing the boy's presence in the room. He didn't even have to turn around, he just continued what he was doing.
Felix, unable to contain his curiosity, approached the man and examined what he was currently preparing. It turned out to be an exceptionally good looking scrambled egg.
Felix savored the smell of the food, and couldn't wait to taste it.
“Mm, it smells delicious. I didn't know you could cook," said the boy approvingly.
"Well, there's a lot you don't know about me yet"
Was Felix imagining it, or did Bangchan really wink at him?
As they sat down together at the table, they both began to eat in silence. Felix was surprised by Bangchan's culinary talent. Yes, the scrambled eggs were not too difficult to make, but the man decided to show off and add spices to it, which created a completely different, sophisticated dish. Perhaps Felix was exaggerating, but he was a pretty bad cook himself, so he appreciated when someone decided to make food for him.
His satisfaction must have been evident to Bangchan as he said:
"I'm glad it tastes good"
“Mm, definitely!” Felix nodded.
“Remember not to skip meals”
"Hm?" These words caught the boy off guard. "How do you know I'm doing this? Did the manager tell you?"
Bangchan rested his chin on his hand, not hiding a smile.
"He didn't have to," was all he said. "It shows. You’re just skin and bones."
Felix blushed with embarrassment at these direct words. He hadn't expected to hear them.
"You don't have to tease me about it..." he said under his breath.
"Am I teasing you?” he asked, feigning surprise. "Never in my life. I'm just worried, that's all."
“Mhm.” Felix, still offended, avoided eye contact with the man and slowly chewed his food.
"But now I won't have to worry. I can finally cook for you every day"
Felix nearly spat out the piece of toast he was chewing.
“Could you really?”
"Of course," he replied with a smile. “It will be a good opportunity to get to know each other better”
Felix agreed with the man, glad to finally have some company in this big house. He used to think about a cat, but because of his busy life he was afraid that he wouldn't have enough time for him, which would make him unhappy. That's why Bangchan actually fell on him like a bolt from the blue. He couldn't believe his luck. Maybe this strange letter did him good after all? After all, if he hadn't got it, he wouldn't have met Bangchan...
No, he shouldn't think that. That letter was mean and nothing will change that.
Still, in a fit of sudden courage, Felix said:
“I'm really glad to meet you, Bangchan”
Before he could realize what he had just said, a man's pleasant, soothing voice reached his ears.
"I’m glad too, Felix"
Dazed by what he just heard and happy to finally find a friend, he didn't hear the second part of the sentence Bangchan whispered.
“You don't even know how much…”
***
The following weeks passed remarkably peacefully. During this time, Bangchan did not leave Felix's side. It made the boy feel safe. He didn't want to admit it, but by then he had grown attached to the man. He dared to say that he really knew him well. Bangchan was really good at his job and took it seriously. However, when they were alone, his personality changed completely from firm and sullen to kind and caring.
Since the man had started working for Felix, no other letter had appeared. Felix took that as a good sign. Maybe Bangchan's energy worked that way? Maybe he kept all the bad guys away, so Felix got that protective shield too?
“I have to leave you for a few hours today,” Bangchan said one day. "Can you do it?"
Felix nodded without hesitation, because right now he had nothing to fear. He felt the threat was over.
“No problem,” he replied. “But where are you going?”
Bangchan didn't answer right away.
Only when Felix was about to repeat the question, thinking that the man simply didn't hear him, Bangchan suddenly spoke up.
"I have to take care of some business in my hometown," he replied curtly, approaching the boy. “It won't take too long. I will try to come back as soon as possible”
Felix suddenly looked sad.
“Family Affair?” He asked. "Everything's all right?"
Bangchan couldn't resist the temptation and placed his hand on Felix's head.
"Don't worry about it, it's nothing serious" he assured him with a smile on his lips while ruffling his hair.
Felix decided not to push any further. If Bangchan didn't want to tell him exactly what it was, he must have had a reason. What if his mother was seriously ill? Felix didn't want to open the wound in Bangchan's heart...
“See you tonight then!” Felix said enthusiastically, trying to reassure him.
"See you soon, Felix" at this point, Bangchan leaned in slightly, making his lips brush the boy's ear gently.
By the time Felix realized what had happened, Bangchan was gone.
***
Bangchan was late. Plus, he wasn't answering the phone. Felix didn't want to admit it to himself, but he was beginning to worry. After all, Bangchan promised that he would be back soon. Something must have stopped him.
Felix didn't want to be nervous, so he decided to go out for a walk. The fresh evening air will do him good.
Without hesitating any longer, he put on a warm jacket, put on his shoes, and left the house.
It was already autumn, so even at 7 pm it was dark. Its neighborhood was quiet, few people lived here. Felix deliberately sought a home away from the hustle and bustle of the city. Admittedly, he had quite a long way to go to work, but overall he was happy with this solution.
Lost in his own thoughts, he turned toward the park. He was about to put on his headphones to listen to his favorite music, when suddenly he heard rustling behind him. He turned nervously, but saw nothing.
Maybe it was a squirrel…?
And that's when he heard it again. This time his reaction was instantaneous. He jumped aside, preparing to retreat.
"Wait!"
It's him again. The hooded man was standing right in front of him. Felix felt his legs buckle under him.
“What do you want from me?!” he asked, trying to keep his voice steady. It didn't work out too well for him though.
"I'm trying to warn you..."
The words shocked the boy.
"What are you talking about? Warn me?” he asked, almost snorting a bitter laugh. "You are the dangerous one here!"
The hooded man shook his head, completely resigned.
“You don't understand anything…”
"I'm not going to listen to you. Get out of here before I call the police!" the boy threatened.
Hearing the word "police", the mystery man flinched.
“Police…” he whispered, barely audible. “They didn't believe me either. Why is that? Just because I have medical records and a not-so-colorful past?!”
The more aggressive the hooded man became, the more afraid Felix became. With every word the man said, Felix backed up more and more, ready to run.
“Life has never been fair to me. I thought it couldn't get any worse until I met this psychopath," said the man, coming dangerously close to Felix.
"What are you talking about?!"
“He did this to me”
The man said as he took off his hood. Felix was shocked. The man in front of him had one eye missing, and there was a livid-red mark on his neck, as if he had been tied with a rope.
“Don't trust him under any circumstances”
However, before the mysterious man could explain anything, he fell to the ground with a thud. Felix looked shocked at the man in front of him. He didn't know what to do. Too preoccupied, he didn't notice who was standing in front of him.
Only when he heard a familiar voice did he understand.
“Felix”
Bangchan was standing in front of him. His clothes were dirty. Felix didn't know what kind of dirt it was. Or maybe he didn't want to know.
“Come to me,” Bangchan said in an extremely warm voice.
“What… what did you do to him?” the boy choked out, pointing to the man in front of him. Blood was oozing from his head.
"Nothing special. I… hit him lightly,” he announced calmly.
“N-no, he… he's not moving!”
Bangchan let out a deep sigh as if completely disappointed.
“See, Felix, it could have been so beautiful…”
Those were the last words Felix heard before he fainted from an unexpected blow to the back of the head.
***
When he woke up, he was in his bedroom, on his bed. Or so he thought. His eyes were closed, so everything around him was dark. He was naked. His hands and feet were tied to the bed. Felix was terrified.
“Is… is anyone here?” Felix decided to give it a try. His voice was hoarse, after all, he hadn't had a drink in a long time.
Felix waited for an answer. But when it didn't come, he decided he was alone in the room and could try his best to free himself. He fidgeted desperately, trying to loosen the ropes. His efforts had no effect. His limbs were tightly bound, as was the blindfold. Just when Felix was about to give up, he felt the touch of someone's hand on his body. Felix shuddered momentarily.
"I see you're awake," a familiar voice said, still touching the boy's body. His finger traced all the way from the navel, hooking over the ribs, to the nipples sticking out from the cold.
"Why..." Felix said softly, trying not to cry. "Why are you doing this to me? Have I angered you in some way?"
“Oh, Felix…” Bangchan cooed.
"Please, I can change," said the boy. “I will be better. Just let me out, I'm begging you"
“Shh,” the man whispered, putting a finger to the boy's lips. "You did nothing bad. It just had to be."
"I-I don't understand..." Felix couldn't keep his voice from shaking anymore.
Suddenly, he felt the blindfold slip from his eyes and then be taken away. Felix was used to the dark, so now it took him a while to get used to the light. When he finally opened his eyes, he saw before him the face he once loved so much and now hated.
“You're so beautiful when you cry,” Bangchan whispered, leaning into the boy's mouth. “I love it when you do this”
Then he kissed him. Felix never expected their first kiss to be like this. This was not how he had imagined it. He didn't want it. He tried to break away from the man, but the man was stronger and for nothing in the world did not want to let him go. Until finally Felix bit his tongue.
This surprised Bangchan. He immediately pulled away from the boy. He wasn't angry though. There was a smile on his face.
He touched his fingertips to his lips, then licked the blood off them.
“I knew you had something feisty about you. I like this side of you,” the man announced.
As soon as one tear on Felix's face had time to dry, more appeared. The boy felt his eyes burning.
"Why are you..." the blonde didn't know how to formulate the question. He didn't want to accept the reality he found himself in. He could not.
“Do you really want to know?”
The thing is, Felix didn't want to know.
“See, if it wasn't for that silly Hyunjin, things would have turned out completely differently,” the man suddenly started. “I wouldn't have to do this to you”
“You still don't have to!” Felix said quickly. "I won't tell anyone about this, I swear I-"
"Oh, Felix, honey," he sang in his ear in his sweetest voice. "If words were ever enough, I wouldn't be here"
Felix felt defeated. He was at Bangchan's mercy. He couldn't reach him.
"And since we're going to be together forever..." the man started, playing with the boy's basket of blond hair. “I can tell you something”
At this point, Bangchan straightened up and cleared his throat.
“A long time ago, me and Hyunjin were a couple. We had a bit of a disagreement, so we decided to split up,” the man began halfheartedly. “Well, maybe it wasn't quite like that. But who can verify it now? Certainly not Hyunjin." He laughed. Bangchan really laughed.
Felix shivered.
“You see, it just so happened that I met you in the meantime. As soon as I saw you, I fell in love. I then decided to keep Hyunjin alive by leaving him a little memento, that's nice of me, isn't it?" he smiled fondly at the memory. "Too bad he was stupid enough not to appreciate it..."
There was a short silence before Bangchan continued.
“If only he had decided not to interfere, he could have gone on living. But he was stubborn. When he found out I had you, he decided to destroy our happiness," he said with hostility in his voice. "That's why he had to die"
“How… did you meet me? Did manager Kim really recommend you? I will never believe it!” Felix finally dared to ask the questions that bothered him the most.
“Hm.” Bangchan looked like he was pondering his answer.
“Remember how I told you not to trust every person you meet on the street?”
A cold shiver ran down Felix's back.
“I happen to not be a real Bangchan”
Felix was close to breaking down.
NO. This can not be true!
"You must know that I've been watching you for a long time, my dear Felix," Bangchan said, smiling warmly at him. Felix couldn't take that smile any longer. “I know practically everything about you. No. I really know everything about you"
“I knew you'd be looking for a bodyguard,” the man explained. “Therefore, I took care of the real Bangchan accordingly, thus taking his place unhindered. Manager Kim suspected nothing."
“What… what happened to the real Bangchan?” Felix asked, his head trembling.
"He? He's dead," he announced calmly, as if it were a completely normal thing. “That was the thing I had to deal with today. You see, up until now I've only held him because I felt bad about killing him. But now is the time to do it. This allowed me to really take over his identity. You don't have to worry about anything now. I am the real and only Bangchan"
“Ahh, if only he didn't resist, I could go home faster and then you wouldn't meet Hyunjin…” he said with obvious disappointment and bitterness in his voice. “The world really is against us, isn't it, Felix?”
“You're sick!”
At these words, Bangchan laughed cheerfully. He obviously took it all as a joke.
"If you really loved me, you wouldn't be doing all this..."
"I'm doing all this just because I love you, silly"
Bangchan was already raising his hand to ruffle Felix's hair when suddenly the boy said:
"You're a liar"
Bangchan's hand froze in the air.
As soon as Felix saw the change in the man's attitude, he knew he had made a huge mistake.
“Never,” Bangchan began in a tone that made his blood run cold "ever call me a liar"
***
Felix didn't know how many days had passed. Bangchan never told him that. Instead, he came to see him regularly. He fed him, talked to him and dressed him. Felix couldn't do anything alone anymore. His career was in ruins. Bangchan made sure that the boy would never perform on stage again.
Felix felt like a doll with no will of its own.
If only he could get his legs back...