Work Text:
It’s a relaxing Friday afternoon and Jamie’s getting ready to catch up on the most recent episode on his new favorite ongoing show when a familiar man appears on the screen. Jamie’s used to seeing his boyfriend on TV a lot, whether it be in a sports highlights context or celebrity news. One can imagine how much it catches him off guard when a blurred out face wearing Dani’s clothes in front of Dani’s locker is speaking lovingly to the camera in Dani’s voice.
It’s the damn Bantr advertisement Keeley’s friend had filmed a few months ago, and to be honest Jamie had completely forgotten the team had done these. It’s probably because he personally hasn’t gotten the ads recently, especially considering how he almost never watches cable television (sometimes his favorite channel likes to rerun Love Conquers All and it's too embarrassing to remember). He’s got a mission to complete.
…
“They’re literally still playing them, Dani! There are still fans out there who are developing a parasocial relationship with you right now as I speak!”
“Mi vida, calm down! We still haven’t officially established our relationship with the public.” Jamie can’t see Dani’s face through the phone, but he can most certainly hear a grin in those words.
“Still! It’s not like we’re exactly private about it, either. Must a man always declare who’s house he enjoys staying overnight at? Do you think they’ve taken Colin’s down?” He’s got Dani on speaker now, frantically searching YouTube for it. There’s nothing uploaded under the official Bantr YouTube channel, but some random channels have it posted with titles like COLIN HUGHES DELETED BANTR AD.
“It’s ok. It’s pretty funny that me in a dating app commercial is out there, flirting with potential users.”
“...I guess I can leave it alone if you don’t mind, but I still don’t like it. Can I come over tonight?”
“Of course, Jamie. I was just about to ask.”
…
A few hours later, Dani’s trying to toss the couch blanket over both of them while not dropping the remote. It’s not exactly successful, considering this blanket in particular sacrifices its surface area in favor of thickness.
“Come here.” Jamie scoops Dani into his arms, and pushes Dani into the corner of the couch back and arm. Dani collapses with him, snuggling closer. Jamie pulls the blanket over, and the two are successfully covered. Dani turns to press a light kiss on his boyfriend’s forehead, smiling as he does.
“What do you want to watch?” Dani asks as he turns his TV on.
“I don’t mind anything.”
“Let’s see what cable has to offer.” Eventually, they find Mean Girls, an iconic and timeless film for sure. It’s after Janis is explaining to Cady why Regina sucks fuck when the movie fades to black and soft, romantic music plays.
“I think that the most beautiful parts of a woman… are her flaws.” And then Jamie’s indignant and Dani’s cackling. His laughter bubbles up from his chest, and Jamie can’t help but love the way it sounds despite grumbling about being hit on through the screen.
“But it’s me who’s hitting on you through the screen, so why are you so irritated about it?”
“Imagine I’m not me, yeah? What if I’m some poor lass rewatching this fantastic movie and suddenly a poorly concealed yet beautiful football player is smooth-talking me into downloading this stupid dating app?”
“I’m glad you’re you, then. You’re the only one who can hear me say,” Dani’s voice is suddenly softer, mimicking the ad, “I think the most beautiful part of you, Jamie…”
Jamie buries his face into the crook of Dani’s neck, feeling heat rise to his cheeks.
“...your ass.”
Jamie sits up immediately, mock offended, and playfully flicks Dani in the forehead. They’re both giggling now, and the rest of the commercials play in the background of their antics.
During the ad break that follows Regina getting hit by the bus, the familiar dreamy music starts up again. Jamie’s prepared to pretend-gripe about it again, when a completely different build occupies the locker room instead. He’s confused, until his own voice starts talking back.
He can’t help it. He bursts into snickers, while Dani wears a look that combines shock with disbelief. “We’re calling Keeley about this tomorrow for sure.”
…
“...So basically, we wanna get those ads deleted the way Colin’s did,” Jamie concludes to a slightly sleepy Keeley. Dani nods along vigorously.
“Yeah, I can do that for sure, guys. Was it really necessary to come knocking at my door at 7 am on a Saturday, though?”
“Sorry Keeley, this is just a bit urgent to Jamie and I.” Dani’s hand squeezes Jamie’s the slightest bit at that last part.
“No no, I get it. It’s just, this could’ve been sent in a text.”
“Sorry Keeley,” Jamie mumbles sheepishly. “And thank you. Is there any way we can repay you?”
“Get me a doughnut and some coffee and you’re forgiven.”
“Yes, ma’am.” The two almost stumble over each other rushing out the door, and their PR manager can’t help but smirk.
…
A week later, Dani and Jamie both receive a letter from Bantr. They’re congratulated on their relationship, and profusely apologized to.
“There, no more hopeless romantics falling in love with me now.” Dani announces, slinging his arm around Jamie. “Well, except for you.”
Jamie looks at Dani, scrunching his nose. Dani simply kisses him, and Jamie pulls his boyfriend into a warm embrace.