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I had been lost to you, Sunlight

Summary:

Dear Luna,
I wish I were more brave than I feel. I wish I had the amount of strength that I always imagined myself to have. You’re my genius Guinevere and I’m your brave Lancelot. Do you think I’d be a good Knight? I think so. Maybe we were born too late to have a glorious adventure.
Your brave knight,
Ginny

// Luna and Ginny write letters to each other to stave off summer boredom

Notes:

If you've read The Other Side, this fic is in Harry's universe the summer before his sixth year when he was staying at Luna's house. Unlike the first work in this series, this is completely canon.

I took women's history last semester and I learned about Victorian letter writing between women, and often they were very homoerotic. Female friendships are very nuanced and complex, and during the Victorian era they often were sapphic. A lot of women's historians, like Carrol Smith-Rosenberg (I recommend her essays), don't really like to attach modern ideas of sexuality onto people of history, but we can't deny the homoerotic undertones and the acknowledgment that lesbians and sapphic women did exist.

This fic is not set during the Victorian era, but I did want to explore this general vibe for Luna and Ginny, because while they weren't in a structured relationship, they did love each other very much (in my verse, at least lol). Enjoy! I didn't italicize it because I find italics hard to read. Let me know if you want me to change that.

Fic title comes from Sunlight by Hozier

If Harry and Luna's relationship revolves around the stars, Luna and Ginny's revolves around the sun.

Work Text:

18 June 1996

 

Good morrow, Ginevra. I hope you are doing well. Sorry I could not respond to your last letter with haste, my paramour and I were busy helping Daddy with the cover layout. That is also why I am sending this via enchanted rabbit instead of an owl. 

I do have faith that Mr Rabbit-Tail will find you, as I have enclosed a rather yummy looking carrot in his pocket. Please respond, I have to admit I am rather bored. 

Yours most faithfully,

Luna Lovegood.



Luna

What have I told you about the fancy language so early in the morning? It gives me a headache. Also, gross. Don’t call him your paramour, just call him your boyfriend. 

Mr Rabbit-Tail found me. Rather ingenious name, Luna. However did you come up with it? Why is he wearing overalls? Don’t tell me you’ve been sewing again and haven’t finished that bag you promised me. I’ll be very cross with you and I’ve been dying to practice my hexes. Perhaps I’ll just practice on your “paramour.” 

I’m sending this letter back with Pig. Ron’s in a whole thing with Hermione about how to handle Monty so he isn’t sending letters. How is Harry doing? I can’t imagine losing Mum like that. There wasn’t even anybody to bury. Just an empty coffin. I didn’t see you at the funeral two weeks ago. Why didn’t you come? Is it because Harry didn’t go?

Yours,

Ginny

 

Ginny,

Pig is quite an excellent owl. He is currently feasting on Harry’s rice dinner from the night before. Harry’s an amazing cook. I can send you some if you’re hungry, although I can’t promise that Pig won’t eat it all. 

I’ve asked Harry about his mum but he doesn’t respond. He does that a lot. Or he’ll change the subject until I go on about something or other. He thinks he’s quite clever, convincing me to talk about myself. As if I don’t know exactly what he’s doing. Boys can be very odious. 

Daddy and I were in Iceland during the funeral. Harry told me he went, he just arrived late. Something happened… he won’t tell me what, though. Lots of things have happened. I’m very worried about him. 

I’m almost done with your bag, I promise. Although, I just started on a very fetching blouse for Harry. He found my autographed picture of Trevor Tralore, the pirate king from that play we saw for my thirteenth birthday, you remember the one? The one even your mum found handsome? Anyway, he has convinced himself that I’m only attracted to pirates, so I told him I’d make him a pirate get-up.

Harry showed me a book series he enjoyed when he was a little kid that had animals dressed up in muggle attire and I found it so charming I went into a frenzy and sewed dozens of animal clothes! If only Eurydice were still alive, I could have sewn her a very lovely dress.

Also, he is so much more than a boyfriend. He is my paramour. Deal with it.

Yours forever, 

Luna Lovegood

 

Luna,

Oh! Trevor… I still think about him. I have his autograph somewhere up in my room. Harry doesn’t strike me as the pirate type, but whatever works for you, I guess. Is it strange having him stay with just you and your dad? Have you two… done anything yet? Why are you worried about him? Is he practicing dark magic again? If he is, we should tell my dad. He wouldn’t arrest him or anything, I promise. But maybe he could talk to his dad or something.

Have you started your summer homework yet? Mum has been getting on my case about mine, but it’s not even August yet! I still have plenty of time! She doesn’t berate Ron about his, why would she about mine!

She’s still mad at me that I was involved at the Ministry fight. But I couldn’t just stand by and let Mrs Potter get hurt!

Although… that didn’t really do anything, did it? Maybe it was stupid to try and fight. It’s not like we’re strong or anything. We’re just fifteen. But Monty’s only sixteen (almost). Why is he the Chosen One? Is it because he’s a boy?

Do you remember when we’d dress up our dads' clothes and pretend we were boys who ran away from home to fight dragons and vampires? I miss those days. They were so simple. That was still when I believed I could someday have the strength to fight for something other than the last piece of cake. It’s not fair that we were born girls when there are so many boys out in the world. 

You never do hear about any wizards who were burned at the stake. Why must witches bear the burden of every fault?

Also, I’m sorry about Eyr- your snake. I know you loved her very much. How long did you have her again? Maybe on her next birthday we could have a little memorial.

Yours forever and ever,

Ginny

 

Ginny,

I would like a nice memorial. I think Harry would appreciate it as well. Harry found her near the end of third year. His relatives don’t like pets so she always stayed with me during holidays. I understand why you were cautious towards her, but she really was quite lovely. 

He’s not practicing dark magic. He’s never practiced dark magic. Don’t believe everything you hear. I don’t want to have this fight again. We aren’t going to fight over boys, even if one is my paramour.

Harry and I have done lots of things! We went to the muggle market by your house, we’ve gazed the stars, and I’ve helped him with cooking. He’s taught me a lot of new recipes. He’s helping Daddy with groceries right now, that’s why I’m so bored. 

I’m almost finished with my homework. Harry helps me everyday with it. He’s very smart, although he’s not great with potions. I usually have to be the one to help him. But he does the oddest thing, he writes his essays and they’re all great, but then he’ll write a new essay but much worse. I think he’s doing badly on purpose. I have no idea why. When I try to ask him, he gets very defensive about it and changes the subject. 

Maybe if you finish your homework within the week, your mum will stop complaining. That’s what I used to do about my room when Mummy complained about the mess. Daddy doesn’t mind messes though, he seems to thrive in them. It drives Harry up the absolute wall, it’s really funny.

Mummy used to tell me that being a witch is as much a burden as a gift. You are not weak, Ginny. You are strong. Mummy used to believe that, and I know that if she were still alive, she would tell you again and again. You were placed in Gryffindor for a reason, don’t forget that. It’s not just because every Weasley goes into Gryffindor. It’s because you’re brave. 

I don’t know why a boy was prophesied for being the Chosen One. Maybe it’s because Voldemort is sexist. Maybe it’s beyond what we can understand… 

Do you remember when I used to get those dreams when I was younger? The ones about legends and riddles? I’ve been having them again, and while I don’t remember much when I awake, I feel a sense of unease. I think something’s going to happen. Something very bad. Something that can’t be reversed. 

Yours always,

Luna

 

Luna,

Something bad has already happened. Monty’s mum died. A war is going to come. We saw him, Luna. We saw Voldemort. He knows who we are. We fought against him and the other Death Eaters. I know you disagree, but I don’t believe in fate. I think we make our own destinies, and I think we made ours by making ourselves known to him. I’m scared out of my wits, but also… 

I want revenge. I want justice for what happened to me in first year. That was Voldemort’s doing. He used me like I was disposable, and I am NOT disposable. 

I’ll be by your side always, Luna, but I can’t promise to be by Harry’s. Not if he’s practicing dark magic and working with him. I love you, Luna. I just don’t want you to get hurt. Please don’t be mad at me for being protective of you. You were mine first.

Speaking of, Luna, you know that’s not what I meant by “doing” things. Have you? I won’t judge you. Last year I got to bludger status with a boy a year above in Hufflepuff. It was an interesting experience. Not entirely horrible, either. I can’t imagine an entire summer with a boyfriend and not doing anything. 

If I do my homework before August, she wins. You know how I hate it when she wins. 

I miss your mum. She was so cool. Do you remember when she let us eat an entire barrel full of toffee apples and we made ourselves sick? Mum was furious, but your mum said that we would always feel that urge until we tried it ourselves and learned from it. 

I wish I were more brave than I feel. I wish I had the amount of strength that I always imagined myself to have. You’re my genius Guinevere and I’m your brave Lancelot. Do you think I’d be a good Knight? I think so. Maybe we were born too late to have a glorious adventure.

Your brave knight,

Ginny

 

My Illustrious Lancelot,

You’d make a wonderful knight. Do you really think I’d make a good queen? She always was my favorite, I have to admit. For the love of everything, DO NOT call Harry Mordred. I will stab you with your own sword. 

I’d rather not call the upcoming war a glorious adventure. It feels too disrespectful. 

I still haven’t eaten a toffee apple since then. 

No we have not. Besides some small pecks on the lips. Kissing is weird. It’s wet and too soft. I’ve told you this before! Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I don’t want to do things with him, but… well, we’re just not there yet. I’m not sure we ever will be. But that’s all I’m going to say about this. Please don’t ask about it again. 

I could never be mad at you for being protective of me. I’m protective of you, too. I love you as well. You were the first person to ever understand me, other than Mummy and Daddy. But Harry understands me as well. I love him, Ginny. I really do.

Do your homework, Ginny. Staying on top of your schoolwork is not “letting her win.”

Pig is getting restless. I don’t think he’ll ever come back here with the amount we’re using him today! Poor owl. I don’t think he likes the perfume I’m using. 

Your faithful queen,

Luna

 

My Queen,

Prude. 

But okay, I won’t ask you about it again. 

I’m glad you love him. I really am. But also, he’s just a boy. Don’t forget that.

Yes, I would be letting her win. No homework until August. I respect your choices to sew animal clothing that will most likely be a waste of fabric and time, and you will respect my choices to procrastinate in the name of justice!

Pig hates me, he always has. Big baby. But I reckon you’re right. Mum is no doubt going to bug me about chores soon. We’ll get our own place soon, right? Just you and I, gallivanting about without annoying things like chores to bother us. 

… I know you’re going to ask, so fine. Harry can come too. But he’s in charge of the chores. And he’s not allowed to complain about it. 

Of course Pig hates your perfume. All owls do. I don’t know why you do that to them. Hey, how’d you enchant that bunny to send the letter without getting in trouble? If you’ve found a way to do underage magic without alerting the Ministry and haven’t told me how, I’ll be very cross with you!

Could you send me your history of magic essay? I honestly can’t remember anything from last year. 

Yours and not Harry’s, 

Ginny

 

Mine but not only mine because I’m not possessive like you,

I’ve enclosed my essay. I finished it the second day Harry was here. He’s really rather good in this subject. 

I did get in trouble. I got a letter a couple minutes ago. But it was only my second warning. Harry’s going to be livid, and I can’t even hide it because he’ll find it with the amount of cleaning he’s done. 

He’ll be fine with the chores, but we have to pitch in sometimes, Ginny. I like the idea of us three having our own place. I’m going to sew lace curtains in anticipation!

Yours until my last breath,

Luna

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