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Ricky wasn’t usually pinned down for being an Omega, he knew that. To be honest, he found himself a bit surprised when he presented as such, but nobody was able to pick their own second gender, so he just rolled with it. Being an omega wouldn’t have affected his personality, his tastes, or the way he was conducting himself, besides the obvious changes connected to his heat and the suppressants he was supposed to take.
Forming the ZB1 pack shifted Ricky’s balance a little: he found himself in need of bonding time with Hao, their Lead Omega, and he caught himself more than once fretting over Yujin like an anxious mom. That was far from his standard so he tried to keep it to a minimum, not wanting for his second gender to dictate his life.
One day, after multiple practice sessions at the company, they were all returning to the dorm. Ricky was feeling extremely uneasy looking at Yujin, who was rubbing his eyes in clear exhaustion. The boy had received a couple of harsh feedback and was on the verge of tears. Ricky patted the space beside him in the car but the boy shook his head and went straight to Hao who welcomed him with open arms: Ricky’s scent soured on the spot. Gunwook, who sat beside him, couldn’t help but notice.
“Ricky-hyung, do you need a cuddle? You don’t seem ok.”
“Are you out of your mind? I’m fine Gunwook, if you need a cuddle be a man enough to ask for it,” the Omega scoffed, grabbing his AirPods and his phone to isolate himself from the others.
Luckily for him, nobody else noticed the exchange because Hanbin was completely enraptured by Hao consoling Yujin, Taerae and Gyuvin were talking about something and Jiwoong was listening attentively to Matthew talking about what he wanted to improve in his performance.
At the dorm Ricky joined Hao in taking care of Yujin, almost pushing Hanbin away.
“He always takes criticism very badly, we know how to deal with him, just leave it to us.”
Hanbin stepped back as a rule of thumb, when an Omega steps in to take care of a pack member it’s hard to change their mind, but Yujin was their maknae and he still wanted to help.
“Let me know if I can do something,” the Alpha offered.
“You cannot.” Ricky deadpanned under Hao’s surprised gaze.
When the two omegas succeeded in calming down Yujin and the boy fell asleep, Hao suggested Ricky apologize to Hanbin.
“You’ve been rude, Ricky. He meant well, your aggression was uncalled for.”
“He’s an Alpha, he won’t die for a rude reply, hyung.”
“He is your Lead Alpha and you will apologize, Ricky. I won’t tolerate any misbehavior in this pack, especially from you and Matthew.”
Ricky could understand Hao’s point: he was the Lead Omega and if he or Matthew seemed to be out of control it might reflect onto Hao. He nodded and sheepishly left the room looking for Hanbin. The living room was empty so he figured that the others must be in the kitchen, so he went there. Even before entering the room, he could hear that the pack was talking about him.
“I don’t know what to do, hyungs! His scent was so sour, I offered to hug him and he didn’t want to…” Gunwok complained
“It doesn’t seem strange to me: he is an Omega as much Taerae is a rapper.” Gyuvin laughed. “Can you see him being the emotional support for other people? He’s going to have trouble in the future for that.”
“Yeah, I wasn’t expecting for him to be an Omega, not in the sightliest. I have pinned him down for an Alpha at the beginning.” Taerae added, “What about you Jiwoong-hyung?”
“He’s not a typical Omega for sure.”
Those words hit Ricky like a punch in the gut: his own pack was thinking he wasn’t cut to be an Omega, that he wasn’t Omega enough. He has sworn that his second gender wouldn’t have changed him, but if everyone’s expectations were for him to behave differently was he still in the right not giving in to his instincts? He wanted to be the emotional support for Yujin, but the boy chose Hao, probably because he was the epitome of the perfect Omega: strong and determined but also caring and sweet. He couldn’t face the pack and rushed to his room, bumping into Hanbin.
“Ricky-yah look where you are going, you might get hurt!”
“I’m sorry, I was actually looking for you, I wanted to apologize for being rude. Now I’m going to my room, I’m really tired.”
Hanbin tried to give him a hug, but the blonde Omega sneaked away. Ricky wasn’t always looking for skinship, but refusing a hug so blatantly was beyond weird.
“Did you guys fight with Ricky?” the Alpha asked once in the kitchen, “Do I have to do any damage control?”
“No, hyung, he wasn’t even here! He must have taken Yujin’s reaction very personally. I get it, I’d like for him to never be scolded, but as an idol, he needs to learn how to receive feedback negative or positive.”
In his room Ricky grabbed Hao’s pillow and curled onto his bed, Gyuvin’s words ringing in his ears. If the pack didn’t like his way of being an Omega he would have risked always being an outsider. He was used to being different but when he was unpresented, at school, he was very popular, and everyone wanted to be friends with him, within the pack things seemed a little different. Hao, as the perfect Omega he was, got himself an Alpha even before the end of the survival show, Matthew had been able to interest such a powerful alpha as Jiwoong while he…he had nobody.
Ricky cursed the tears which were forming in his eyes: there was no need to cry over anyone, he didn’t need an Alpha, he was a capable, strong Omega and he wouldn’t have pleaded to be accepted.
When nobody came to call him for dinner, though, his resolution seemed to vanish. Being alone was a thing, being alone in a pack was another.
When Hanbin opened the door carrying an asleep Hao Ricky reluctantly gave back the pillow and turned to face the wall.
“Sorry for waking you, Ricky” the Alpha whispered “I’ll just put Hao into his bed and I’ll leave.”
Ricky nodded, his heart aching as his Lead Alpha didn’t even try to check on him, he was worried for his precious boyfriend only. A wave of rage encompassed him and forced him to snarl at the Alpha
“Have you left Yujin alone? After all he’s gone through today?”
“No, no! Taerae and Gyuvin are in the same room, in case he needs something. There’s no need to worry about him. Matthew was just bidding goodnight to Jiwoong-hyung he’ll be here soon.”
Still not a word for him, not even to chastise him for his rudeness. It was clear in Ricky’s eyes that nobody in the pack was caring about him, and that was his fault because he wasn’t as lovely as their other two Omegas.
In the following days, Ricky kept on isolating himself as much as possible from the rest of the pack, he didn’t want to be tolerated just because he was a member, and he didn’t want to create any tension due to the fact that he wasn’t the stereotypical Omega and nobody seemed to be able to deal with him, with the exception of Hao who already had his hands full with the rest of the pack.
The two youngest makanes noticed how much Ricky was avoiding spending time with them and pointed this out to Taerae and Gyuvin.
“Ricky-hyung is avoiding us. Have we done something bad? Like I have used his Gucci perfume but it was only one time, and I’m sure not to have messed it up!” Yujin asked with a hint of apprehension in his voice.
“I haven’t asked if he wanted to be hugged ever since. He cannot still be mad at me for that, right?” Gunwook echoed, muttering something else under his breath that none of the Beta could understand.
“Sorry, Gunwook, come again, please?” Taerae pressed gently.
“Having him close help settle me, Matthew-hyung and Hao-hyung smell so much of other Alphas…” he blushed a bit at the confession.
“You don’t have to be shy, Gunwook. We are all still settling, there are new balances we are building, you shouldn’t feel ashamed for finding comfort in Ricky’s scent. It is totally normal.”
The two Betas decided to face Ricky together, taking the maknaes’ complaint into their own hands, not wanting to involve the hyungs in something that at first sight could be easily settled. They cornered the blonde Omega in his room and asked him directly why he wasn’t spending time with the rest of the pack, pointing out that the youngest members were missing him a lot.
“We miss you too, hyung.” Gyuvin added.
“You miss what, Gyuvin? Having to deal with the poor excuse of an Omega that is myself? Don’t pull this shit on me.”
“I’ve never said you were a poor excuse of an Omega, hyung! I would never!” Gyuvin looked at Taerae scandalized.
“Don’t. Just don’t. You were the one saying that I am an Omega as much as Taerae is a rapper, so please.”
Taerae connected the dots in a blink of an eye: Ricky must have overheard their exchange about how they weren’t expecting him to be an Omega and must have misunderstood them.
“It was a joke, hyung! I didn’t mean to disrespect you. If you felt that way you could have said something…”
“And add the label of confrontational Omega to the ones you already have for me. I’ll pass, thank you.” Ricky was biting back mercilessly. “Now can I have a bit of privacy or should I share with you every second of my life? We’ve been in the same practice room together for hours already.”
The two Betas left the room: Gyuvin with guilt written all over his face, Taerae like a man on a mission. It was imperative to get the whole pack together and discuss Ricky’s situation. He sent a message to everyone in the pack except Ricky calling them for an emergency meeting in the kitchen. As expected Hao and Hanbin were already there, waiting for them as soon as the Betas appeared in the room.
“Are you guys hurt? What has happened?” Hao asked, quickly scanning them looking for signs of illness or possible wounds.
“Let’s wait for everyone to be here, hyung and I’ll tell you everything.”
As soon as they were all sitting around the kitchen table Taerae explained that Ricky must have overheard the exchange they had on Ricky subgender the day Yujin had a meltdown due to harsh feedback during practice. He also said that Ricky seems rightfully very offended, but the worst in his eyes was that Ricky was convinced to be a bad Omega.
“Sorry, what?!” Hao roared. “What the fuck did you say to make him think that he is not a good Omega? He didn’t present that long ago, he is still finding his foot, not to mention that he is a wonderful person besides his subgender!”
“You will admit that he is not the stereotypical Omega, Hao.” Jiwoong replied “But I haven’t said that this was a bad trait. I have no behavioral expectations for any Omega in our pack, there is no standard anyone should adhere to, but our instincts are deeply rooted in us. Nothing can stop me from standing up for my pack, I’m an Alpha: to protect and provide are in my blood for as much as I can fight them.”
“What does this even relate to Ricky?” Hao replies, his scent spiked with anger.
“I am worried he is still not accepting himself, fighting instincts that he feels under his skin but he doesn’t want to give in to as they are in contrast with his personality.”
Hao, who had his mouth open to reply, closed it slowly, carefully considering Jiwoong’s words.
“Let me talk to him alone so that I can…” he began, but Hanbin cut him off
“I get that you are the Lead Omega, but this needs the whole pack. Each one of us has to apologize to Ricky for what has been said and for not noticing that he was second-guessing himself. Following that we all have to reassure him that this pack is a safe space for him to explore his instincts and that no one will ever dare to make fun of him if something doesn’t immediately work. We will all find ourselves in uncharted territories as we create new bonds, if we want to give this a real chance we need to be honest and accepting.”
Hao opened the door of the Omegas’ room calling out for Ricky, to give him a bit of a warning, but nothing could prepare the boy to see the whole pack swarming in the room, all the eyes on him.
“What the fuck is this? Is this an intervention? Because I didn’t want to play with the maknaes?” Ricky questioned, anger clear in his voice.
“We want to apologize, Ricky. It has been beyond rude to talk about your subgender behind your back and to make comments. Jiwoong-hyung has reminded us that there are no behavioral expectations connected to everyone’s subgender” Taerea began softly.
“Yeah, that’s rich from the man who was the first one pointing out that I’m not a typical Omega.”
“I apologize too, Ricky. I didn’t mean to offend you, I don’t want for you to believe that I want to enforce stereotypes on any of you.” Jiwoong commented stepping closer to the blonde.
“Don’t touch me.”
“You cannot refuse contact with anyone of us, we are your pack, Ricky! You are going to be touch starved!” Hao reprimanded in an alarmed tone.
“Would any one of you care about it? You all have each other, there are members less awkward than I am. What is the point in me fighting to be accepted by all of you if you guys have already decided that as I don’t fit inside a box I’m not worthy of being called Omega.”
“Nobody has ever said that Ricky. We might have used careless words and I can assure you that we regret each one of them,” Jiwoong interrupted him, talking in a stern tone “I am worried that you are suppressing some of your instincts because they don’t fit with your personality but you shouldn’t do that. Not only because the pack is a safe space for you to be yourself and try new things, but also because, as Hanbin has reminded us all, we all need to learn how to live and coexist in this pack.”
Ricky swallowed a lump of nerves, fighting back the tears which were prickling his eyes before speaking again, this time in a voice way smaller than he would have liked.
“So you are telling me that nobody will make fun of me if I try to take care of the pack even if I’m not as good as Hao-hyung? Nobody will look at me with wide eyes if I drop the act of the cool confident guy and ask for cuddles?”
“I’m actually waiting for you to cuddle with me, hyung” Gunwook intervened bringing a hand to the back of his head “No offense to any other Omega here, but Ricky-hyung’s scent is the only one which settles me when I’m all riled up.”
“You should have told me! I would have helped you…”Ricky began just to freeze a second after hearing his own words, waiting for somebody to laugh at his reaction, but nothing came.
Gunwook just bowed his head while whispering “I’m still learning and it wasn’t clear to me if I could ask… You refused my help when Yujin was upset and went straight to Hao.”
Ricky replayed the mentioned scene in his head and realized that he has acted exactly like he didn’t want the others to act toward him. He had refused Gunwook’s support because he didn’t want to be seen as vulnerable and in need of help from a younger Alpha. He realized that his own head was full of the same misconceptions he was blaming others for.
“I am sorry Gunwook. I acted as a jerk…you made a very gentle offer and it was exactly what I needed but I’ve been too prideful to accept. I promise I’ll try to put my pride aside from now on.”
“This mean I can get the cuddles I’ve refused that day too?” Yujin chimed in, giving Ricky his best puppy eyes.
“I guess…” the blonde replied faking annoyance.
In the space of twenty minutes, they were all piled up on the living floor with duvets, pillows, and blankets watching a movie chosen by Ricky.
Habin has his arm around Hao’s shoulders, Matthew was pressed against Jiwoong’s chest while Gyuvin was using Taerae’s legs as a pillow. Gunwook was sitting with his legs open, in the middle was Ricky who was holding Yujin in his arms.
Hanbin moved his gaze from one member to another, carefully observing them.
“We are getting there, Hanbinie. It will just take time.” Hao whispered in the Alpha’s ear, leaving a soft kiss on his neck.
“Yeah, we’ll get there.”