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Petra Itta is dead.
Suletta didn't see her die. She didn't have the chance.
All Suletta could do was stare at the blood, gaze into cold and lifeless eyes, etch the image of shattered bones and pooling viscera into her mind forever.
The image flashes back into Suletta's mind again, reminded of it as she looks down at her palm, a small cut forming beneath her fingers. It's happened countless times in the few hours since it happened. Her still-bright turquoise eyes turn to look up at the sky, where the simulated sun on the screen has faded behind the facade of greenery on the horizon. So many of the screen panels bear their own marks from the day's horrific events, sparking and showing an unnatural static, or, in the worst cases, wearing open wounds out into the blackness of space. Suletta grits her teeth, and lifts another piece of rubble, leaving a splotch of her blood where her hand touches it. She has her own wounds.
"I definitely...want to be at his side again!"
The words still echo like stones tossed to a pond in rain, leaving ripples on Suletta's mind. In that moment, she saw the similarity between Petra and herself. Petra loved Lauda, Mr. Jeturk's younger brother. He had been so rude to her. So had Petra. He called her "wench," and looked at her with cold hate in his eyes. She understood, though. Guel's position as Holder had been taken, back then. To Lauda, Suletta was nothing more than a roadblock to someone he cared for dearly. That was a feeling she understood, as hard as the feelings of others could be for her to decipher. No, that one was one she knew well, although not with the scorn and anger he showed to her. Suletta faced the ones who stood in the way of her loved ones' dreams with passion and righteous refusal to yield. That was the privilege of someone with the means to fight, she knows, especially now that she has lost that means. Now all that she can do is pick up the debris in the wake of her failure, and memorize the faces of the dead who would haunt her forever.
Another stone. She sees yet more blood, dry and stagnant. It's too late. She's too late. Again.
This is her fault. All of this is her fault. If she had just seen what Ms. Miorine was going to do, then she would have stopped her. She'd still wear the white and gold of the Holder. She'd still have Aerial, and she could have protected all these people. So many innocent lives, lost, because of Suletta's failure. Her bruised fingers clench into shaking fists, and as her eyes fix on the broken hand she sees beneath the rubble, she almost falls to her knees. But she doesn't. Tears well in her eyes, but she wipes them away with a slash of her her sleeve. The Suletta of yesterday would have hidden away, clutching a tear-stained pillow that smelled faintly of perfume, earth, and hope. Not today. Not any longer. She takes a step forward, refusing to turn away from this. Never again would she lean against someone else to bear the weight of her actions. Ms. Miorine could have trusted her if she hadn't leaned against her mother. Aerial would have stayed if she believed in Suletta's inner strength. These are truths that she will no longer shy away from. She is not some innocent child to be shielded from consequence. Not anymore.
Petra's words echo again.
"What about you? What will you do if you survive?"
At that moment, those words bounced off the shield her mind had put up to keep her moving. She couldn't process them. But in the hours that have passed since then, they're one of the only things that has kept Suletta's mind from shutting down completely. What will she do? What can she do? She was lucky enough to make it through the day. Petra's dying wish would never be fulfilled. Her life was cut short, and she would never see Lauda again. Suletta's lips purse. Why did she get to live, and Petra died? Why does it matter what she wants to do? Her, who couldn't even think of a reason to make it through the day. Petra knew why she kept moving forward.
More rubble lies before her. Suletta closes her eyes and braces herself. It's time to face the owner of that hand. Her eyes open. With a grunt of effort, she moves the stone.
A boy lays on the ground beneath the loose bricks and cracked pieces of concrete. His arms are broken in several places, Suletta can tell just with her eyes. From his mouth, a thin trail of blood, and a bruise surrounding his eye. His closed eyes. Suletta's lip quivers as she looks at him. Weak. Don't cry. Don't turn away from this. You're the reason he's here. A tear drops from her eyes, escaping her control, and lands on the boy's face.
And his eyes open.
He coughs and groans in pain, and then his eyes meet Suletta's. She takes a shocked step backward. Her eyes are wide. Without another instant, she bends to her knees, picking up the rest of the wreckage covering the young man. He says nothing, too weak to speak.
"Hold on! I...I'm gonna get you out of there! I'm gonna get you...to safety! You're going to live!" She throws a brick behind her, tosses a huge piece of concrete without effort by the grace of the sudden rush of adrenaline coursing through her veins. Once he's loose, Suletta carefully lifts him off the ground, remembering her training on Mercury for search-and-rescue on how to carry someone who's badly injured without making it worse. The boy moans again, trying to talk.
"Save your strength. I know it hurts, but it'll be okay soon! I'm taking you to the doctors right away, so just hang on a little longer for me, please!" Suletta's voice is desperate and pleading, needing this boy to make it. She turns around, and as quickly as she can without bouncing him, gets moving toward the floodlights by the medical tents. She feels his ragged breath on her back, small, but there. A little smile inexplicably crosses her face. This is why. Suletta lived on today to save as many people as she can, to make a difference in every way she can muster. Petra didn't survive. But Suletta did. And she'll take that gift of life to save everyone who can be saved. For the first time today, she's reminded why she chose to do those search-and-rescue missions for miners on Mercury even when she was just a child: because she could.
"I have a survivor! Someone, please, help this boy!!" Suletta cries out as she approaches the tents. Masked doctors rush past guards armed with long rifles and heavy purple armor marked with the seal of Cathedra to Suletta, who gently hands the boy over to them. The doctors put him on a stretcher and carry him into the tents, but his eyes don't leave Suletta's even once until she can't see them anymore. One of the guards approaches her, shouldering his rifle, and puts a hand on her.
"You saved that boy. You should be proud of yourself. Not many people would have the strength to keep going after what happened to you students today." Suletta smiles a wobbly smile, tears welling in her eyes again.
"Th-thank you. I...I'm just trying to do what I can. I...I should get back. There could be others. More I can save..!" Without another word, she turns around, and sprints back to where she had been and gets back to work with a renewed sense of purpose.
There are others that can be saved. That's why she survived. She remembers now. She had an answer to Petra's question, but didn't speak it then.
"For you, Petra...I'll do it. I'll go...to her side. Whether she wants to see me or no. I swear it. I...I can still save her!"
Somewhere, Miorine Rembran's heart skips a beat.