Chapter Text
1598
The wails of a baby filled the bedroom, Arthur groaned, and Francis whined, kicking his husband a bit before muttering “It’s your turn” tiredly, Matthew was never this fussy when he was a baby.
Arthur sat up, rubbing his face for a moment as he adjusted to the dark. His hands ran through his unkempt hair, then he stood up and walked over to the little cradle that held the infant. He leaned down, looking at the tiny infant, his daughter Amelia. As soon as Amelia saw Arthur she stopped her crying but whined and held up her arms to reach for him.
Arthur lifted her, “Awe, you poor baby,” he whispered, bouncing her in his arms, “did you just miss me?”
Amelia babbled, snuggling into his arms before promptly falling asleep, Arthur chuckled, continuing to hold her for just a few more moments, not wanting to let her go just yet. She looked so peaceful, so content in his arms, he didn’t want to disturb that. So he sat back onto the bed he shared with his lover, gently holding her close to allow her to sleep.
1604
She seemed to grow up fast, but that wasn’t fully true, it was just Arthur being upset that she had left the baby stage behind now. She was little but she was strong and fast. Arthur was alone now, no more Francis in his life, he was only ever around to spend time with Amelia, Francis was a good father after all. Amelia was hyper, talkative, and wild, always right up in Arthurs's space to get his attention, his praise, and his acceptance.
Amelia ran through the house, in search of her father, her little bare feet hitting the hardwood floor, her little lungs working over time. She eventually found him in his library, running up to him.
“Daddy!” she shouted, “Daddy!”
Arthur nearly jumped out of his skin, but smiled once he looked down at his daughter, “Amelia please don’t yell at me,”
“Sorry,” she said, “come play with me outside, please?” She said, “I wanna show you what I can do!”
Arthur sighed, “alright,”
Amelia held his hand and pulled him outside, then she ran to a nearby tree and began to climb, Arthur almost stopped her, “Amelia be careful!”
Amelia’s little hands grabbed onto a branch, she was hanging onto it now, pulling herself up, “s’ ok Daddy! M’ a big boy!”
Arthur sighed, “You are very strong Amelia, but do be careful, I don’t want you to fall,”
Francis’s visits were always Amelia's favorite, at bedtime he would lay with her and tell her stories, help her say words, and so on. Francis and Arthur weren’t on good terms, not at all, but they did their best to never shout at each other whilst Amelia was around, or in any listening distance, Matthew didn’t even want to talk to Arthur, Amelia barely remembered her elder brother.
Francis sat on Amelia's bed, holding her in one of his arms, the other one holding a book as he slowly read to her, teaching her how to read, “Daddy told me you called yourself a big boy today,”
Amelia focused herself on the pictures in the book, “Mhm!” cuz m’ a big boy,”
Francis sighed, she was still young, it was most likely just her not knowing words properly yet, “Amelia, you know Papa loves you right?”
Amelia nodded, “I do papa,”
“I just want you to know that Papa will always love and support you, no matter if you feel like a big boy or a big girl,” he said
“I know,” Amelia said, she was barely able to keep herself awake by now, she yawned after a moment, looking like she was about to fall right asleep
“Are you ready to go to sleep?” he asked her
Amelia whined and snuggled herself up in his arm, Francis smiled and set the book down, and gently placed Amelia in her bed, wrapping her up in the soft blankets she had. She whined, Francis pets her head, and kissed her forehead, soothing her into slumber.
“Goodnight mon bébé,”
1765
The colonial countryside, sometime in the 1760s, Amelia couldn’t remember the exact date at all. She stood out in the field of flowers and long grass, wearing her favorite nightgown with short sleeves, as she was not allowed to wear breeches like the boys her age could now. She felt 13 years old, but her baby face made her look 11. She had golden blonde curly hair, freckles littered her cheeks and the sun just brought them out, her skin was a light bus noticeable brown, and she had lovely two toned lips. Her eyes were a bright blue, and she had a gap in her front teeth and a few more gaps only in the top few teeth as well, bruises along her legs, as well as various other scratches and scars from her reckless playing and exploring.
She was barefoot in the dirt, a wrap on her head to protect her hair as well as she could, lest her guardian throw a fit over it. She was looking around, deciding where she would go to play this morning, then she began to run, her feet patting over the mud and dirt, the green grass staining the bottom of her gown, she was running to the creek, which happened to be her favorite place to play. There were fish and mud and all types of stuff she thought were interesting.
Once she made it there she stopped herself in front of the water, took the wrap off her head, and pulled her nightgown up slightly, just enough so it didn’t get wet at all, she took the wrap and tied it in place around her waist, then she put her feet into the water, feeling all the mud, little rocks, and plants in between her toes and against her feet, making her cringe only slightly, her body shuddering at the texture which she still was never used to. Her hair flowed in the small bits of wind that kept coming up, which rippled the water around her. She walked through the water, watching as fish and all types of little bugs made their way into the water. She crouched slightly, eyeing all the fish which took some interest in her.
She quickly made her hands dive down which scared off most of the fish, but her hands clasped one, her grip tight on the floppy creature. She raised her arms, the water splashing as the fish squirmed and writhed, but Amelia's grip never loosened, as she was very strong for a personification her age, so the poor fish had no real hope of trying to escape. She had a habit of coming to the creek to get fish this way, however her guardian, Mrs.Abigail, always scolded her for it as fish were messy, and Amelia was messy too.
She held tightly onto the fish, stepping out of the creek as the fish wiggled around in her hands, she shook her feet off some of the mud and such before she began to run, the fish now limp. Her breathing was heavy and raspy as she ran back home, her lips dry and gown stained with creek water. Her feet hit the ground hard, she was fast but her lungs were small and her legs were short, she had no sense of proper direction, and could never truly go in a straight line even if she tried, and she never wanted her footing either. She took too hard of a step on her left foot, the foot sinking slightly into the ground, her right foot scraping on the ground and hitting a rock, this put her balance and she tumbled forward, and she landed in the rocky grass with an ‘oof!’
She hissed at the stinging in her foot and knee, using her arms to push herself up, leaving the fish on the ground for a moment as she regained her balance. She reached down to lift it and continued to run on home, although limping slightly, and from where she was now she could hear Mrs.Abigail calling her name.
“Ms.Amelia!” she called out, her hands on her hips, Amelia always had a habit of disappearing outside, it was nearly impossible to keep track of her. Amelia hated it when Abigail addressed her as Ms, it was such an odd title and wasn’t right.
Amelia was eventually available to see now, Abigail sighed as the short girl ran up to her.
“Mrs.Abigail, look at this fish I got-”
“Ms.Amelia! What have I told you about going down to that creek in your nice clothes?” she scolded, “look at you, you’re all filthy-” she then noticed the long trail of blood going down Amelia's leg from her right knee, “you’ve injured yourself, and you don’t have any shoes on!”
“I’m sorry Mrs.Abigal,” Amelia said with a frown
“Come on, let’s fix you up,” Abigail said with a sigh, taking Amelia’s hand
The fish ended up in the kitchen, and Amelia was upstairs being changed. Abigail instructed Amelia to lift her arms, then she pulled the dirty gown off, “You know I don’t understand how you play in these clothes”
Amelia slipped her loose strands of hair behind her ears, “I don’t have proper play clothes for the creek,” she said, “I can’t wear pants or shorts,”
Abigail paused for a moment, “well I’m glad you didn’t go out and play in any of the fancy gowns that your father got for you,” She said, rummaging through the drawers in the girl's bedroom, “what do you mean by you aren’t allowed to wear breeches?”
“Girls can’t wear them, daddy says it’s not ladylike,” Amelia replied, mimicking how Arthur sounded, which made her and Abigail giggle
“Well he is not here is he now?” Abigail asked, turning to face Amelia
“No, he’s not,” Amelia replied
“Well then I will find you some breeches to wear, and you can wear those when you go out to play,” She said
Amelia's eyes lit up and she smiled, “You mean it?”
“Yes I mean it,” Abigail said, pulling out some clothes for the girl to change into,” now put these on and go wash up, it’s lunchtime,” she said before she left the room
Amelia watched as her guardian left before she began to put on her outfit, she ran to the bathroom and washed up her hands, then ran downstairs, having to be careful of course. Once she made it downstairs she joined Abigail for lunch, practically scarfing down her food.
“Slow down Ms.Amelia, it’s not proper to eat messy,” Abigail said, handing Amelia a napkin
“Sorry Mrs.Abigail,” ameAmeliaplied, taking the napkin and wiping her mouth and around it
“All that running around makes you hungry doesn't it?” Abigail smiled, Amelia nodded, making sure not to talk with her mouth full of food, taking a moment to swallow
“You were out playing since early this morning, I think you should stay inside for the rest of the night,” Abigail continued, Amelia looked like protest, “youYou’vely just injured yourself, maybe let your poor legs rest just for one night,”
Amelia pouted, she looked disapproving of the idea, “But my legs heal fast,”
“But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t relax for one night,” Abigail sighed, “you may heal fast but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take a break, plus you can catch up on your reading,”
Amelia groaned, it’s not that she hated reading, she was great at it, but she’s practically read every book in the house hundreds of times,
“Don’t groan at me Ms.Amelia,” Abigail said, giving the girl a look
“But I’ve read like every book here multiple times,” she whined, slouching in her chair
“Well then I’ll just have to get you some more books,” Abigail said, “it’s important we continue your education,”
“But why? I can’t go to any school,” She said
“That’s the main reason, you’re a smart and strong woman,” Abigail smiled “and I want you to stay that way, you’ll be around for a long time,”
Amelia internally cringed at the mention of her being a woman, that word just felt off, like it didn’t fit her exactly, but she held her tongue on that thought.
“I mean I’m strong but I don’t know about, smart,” Amelia chuckled
“Oh you are plenty smart Ms.Amelia, you just express it differently than others” she smiled, “now come along, help me with the dishes please”
“Yes Mrs.Abigail” Amelia spoke, getting up from her chair
In the early evening Amelia began to ready herself for bed, brushing out her hair, and cleansing her face, examining it in the mirror. She didn’t admire herself, too feminine she thought, way too feminine. When she was done she hurried her way to her bedroom, quietly closing the door, she had been trying to get out of the habit of slamming doors. She scanned over her large bookshelf, trying to find some book she liked to read before bed, before just giving up and pulling out a random one, hardcover of course. She plopped herself into bed, messily covering her body with a blanket, the oil lamp at her bedside table lighting up as she made sure it was on so she could properly read, flipping through the pages until where she left off the last time she touched the book, and she read for an hour or so before Abigail knocked at her door, a candle lit in her hand.
“Ms.Amelia, it’s time for bed,” she said, peaking in slightly before entering the room, setting the candle holder on a shelf
“Yes Mrs.Abigail,” Amelia said, bookmarking at her new spot before Abigail gently took the book from her and put it back on the shelf
“Tomorrow I’ll go and buy you some new books to read and some breeches,” Abigail said, sitting in the bed as she tucked Amelia in properly, “but don’t go out and play just yet, I’ll need you to help me with the laundry”
Amelia nodded, laying down properly, Abigail bending down slightly and planting a kiss on Amelia’s forehead, “goodnight Ms.Amelia” she said, standing up and turning the oil lamp off
“Goodnight Mrs.Abigail!” Amelia called once the woman was gone, she lay in bed, surrounded by darkness with only the moonlight from the window shining in
Amelia rolled over, yawning, her eyes growing heavy until they closed and she drifted off into sleep.
The sun slowly began to rise, casting a beautiful light over the countryside, the window blew softly, creating a soothing sound of leaves brushing against each other and the grass flowing, and the birds beginning to wake and sing their songs to one another, which filled the air with a beautiful melody. Amelia whined as she rolled over, the sun beginning to crawl through the curtains and fill the room with its yellow light. She hid her face with her blankets, snuggling into her pillows, attempting to go right back to sleep.
Abigail had already woken up and gotten ready for the day, breakfast already made. She walked up the stairs to Amelia's room, knocking on the door gently, “Ms.Amelia, it’s time to wake up,” she said
Amelia whined, diving into the covers, Abigail walked in and went through Amelia's closet, pulling out clothes for her to wear,
“You must get up Ms.Amelia, we’ve got things to do today,” she spoke, laying the things out on a dresser, before walking over to Amelia's bed and pulling the covers off her, Amelia only curled up, hiding her face, whining loudly. Abigail put her hands on her hips in a small disapproving manner, Comee on, wake up and get dressed, breakfast is waiting for you downstairs,”
Amelia groaned and sat up, her hair messy and frizzy, Abigail chuckled, “Hurry up so we can get you looking presentable,”
Amelia climbed her way out of bed, slouching slightly as she stood, rather tired and doing her best to wake up. Abigail helped her remove her nightgown, then slipped on her undergarments and finished putting her outfit together before having her sit in front of a mirror. Carefully Abigail brushed the little knots and tangles out of Amelia's hair, smiling.
“There we go, all done,” Abigail spoke, “now come on, let’s get you something to eat,”
Abigail lead Amelia downstairs and sat her down, pouring her a cup of morning tea, while Amelia was never a huge fan of the drink, her dad was and she wanted to be just like him when she was younger, and just never got out of the habit of drinking it, even when she didn’t like it.
“Do you know when and will come to visit?” Amelia asked, swallowing a bite of her food
Abigail shook her head no, “I’m afraid not, I never can tell what he’s up to, all the way in England,”
“Do you think he’ll come to visit soon?” Amelia asked, “I haven’t seen him in a while,”
“He will, he always does, I just don’t know when,” Abigail answered
They both fell into silence once more, before Abigail began to speak again, “I need you to do some chores whilst im at the shops,”
“And those are?” Amelia asked, putting her fork down for a moment,
“I just need you to get your laundry done and make sure your room is clean,” Abigail spoke, “that should be easy for you, yes?”
Amelia huffed slightly, chores were so boring, she could be doing much better things with her time than cleaning her room, but she didn’t want to disappoint Mrs.Abigail, “yeah, I can do that,” she answered, “I don’t want to but I can”
“Good, thank you,” Abigail said, “It’s good to get in the habit of doing chores now, that way when you’re day on your own you will be able to take care of yourself without all the help from others,”
“Yeah, but they’re still very boring,” Amelia giggled
Abigail sighed but smiled, “Now run along and go ahead and start on your chores,”
Amelia stood up from her seat, not bothering to push it back in before she ran upstairs, “Yes Mrs.Abigail!”
“No running inside the house Ms.Amelia!” Abigail called out, sighing knowing the girl had already stopped listening to her, this wouldn’t be the last time she told Amelia that either, that was a known fact.
Once Amelia made it to her room, she looked around, she felt much too lazy to properly clean it but she knew either way Abigail would have something to say about it, so she might as well clean it properly. She moved all her dirty laundry into a basket and pushed it to the side, she walked over to her bed and began to make it properly, the covers neatly folded and tucked and her pillows in their respective places, a presentable bed always made a room look clean even if it wasn’t. She picked up the small things she had on the floor, like papers covered in drawings, pencils, and maybe a stray sock she forgot to grab, and she made sure all her hair care was in the right places and that the books were all on their shelves in the order she needed to have them in.
Then she stared at her basket of laundry, she most likely wouldn’t have it finished for some time as they had to soak in boiling water first, she rarely ever saw Abigail with a wrap in her hair, but it was only the times she did laundry did she have one on her head.
Amelia went and rummaged through her drawers in search of her favorite wrap, making sure her hair was completely tucked away and out of her face, she wasn’t in anything fancy, just enough to look decent as Abigail wanted Amelia to get in the habit of putting effort into herself, which she often did not do anyways. She walked back over to her laundry, lifting the basket before exiting her room.
She poured boiling water into a large, empty tub, a few drops hitting her skin, she then carefully put her clothes inside, stirring them a bit, the water would loosen the dirt, and she would have to wait almost an hour for that, this gave her free time. Normally she would go run outside, climb in the trees, play in the creek, and run around but she couldn’t until Abigail came back home, so she was left bored. She walked around the house, just looking at everything, rummaging through things hoping to find some type of entertainment before giving up and flopping on the couch, which wasn’t exactly comfortable by any means. She huffed, staring up at the ceiling for a moment before sitting up.
Once the time finally passed she checked up on the clothes, the water a slight brown-green color, only slightly. She filled another tub with regular warm water and moved the clothes there, rolling up her sleeves and getting some stain soap, and scrubbing to get any stains out which gave her quite the arm exercise, they were sore when she was done. She took a small break, letting her arms rest before she tried everything, then she went upstairs and put them all away, and dumped all the water outside into the grass, then she put the tubs away until they were of use again, which wouldn’t be for some time as the laundry wasn’t done very often.
She now felt accomplished, she had done all the things she was instructed to do and she did them properly, which was something she didn’t typically do. But Abigail wasn’t home yet and now she realized she couldn’t play outside just yet, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t allowed to be outside.
She ran out to the back door and swung the doors open, being able to be out in the sunlight felt good for her, even if she couldn’t immediately go run around. She closed the door behind her and sat on a bench, just admiring the view she had in front of her.
The back door opened and Amelia turned around, greeted by the face of Abigail, who was holding a pair of breeches, and Amelia's smile widened.
Amelia threw her clothing off, messily leaving it on the floor, already dirtying her room, Abigail quickly picked it all up and neatly folded them, “Ms.Amelia let's not dirty up your room already, relax please,” she said, but of course, Amelia ignored her
Amelia slipped on her new pants, which fit snugly and practically perfectly, then the shirt Abigail bought for her, which was slightly baggy but that was fine, she would only really wear these to go out and play in the messy areas she loved so. She admired herself in her mirror for a moment, Abigail watched with a smile.
“Can I go play now Mrs.Abigail?” Amelia asked, turning to face her, jumping up in down slightly in excitement
“Yes you may go play,” She replied
Amelia smiled wide and ran out of the room, “Ms.Amelia! Your shoes!” Abigail called, doing her best to catch up to the rather fast teen, grabbing Amelia's shoulder and pulling her back slightly, Amelia turned her head.
“Put on your shoes Ms.Amelia,” She said, handing Amelia her shoes, Amelia groaned but complied and put them on, a look of discomfort on her face as she did so, “there, now let's get on your wrap,” Abigail said, typing the wrap over Amelia's hair which kept it safe
As soon as Abigail finished Amelia ran off and left out the back door, slamming it behind her, and Abigail sighed at that, going back to Amelia's room to properly put away the new pants and shirts, and put the books onto Amelia's bed so the girl could put them away where she pleased.
Amelia ran down the grass path, the grass had been flattened from how often she ran in this specific direction, she took off her shoes as she ran, her feet hitting the dirty grass, short quick breaths leaving her mouth, drying out her lips. She slowed down a bit as she reached the bottom of a hill, not wanting to immediately fall over. She panted a bit, catching her breath as she looked around a bit, before continuing to run, the sound of leaves and plants crunching and squishing under her feet filled the air, the wind blowing the opposite way of her as the cold air clung to her exposed skin, her speed decreasing steadily as she approached the creek until she came to a stop. The sun lit up the water beautifully, the rocks covered in moss and grasses sticking up above the water. She rolled up her pants to her thighs, before setting her shoes down, her warming feet contrasting with the cold water, she shivered. Her feet once again sunk slightly in the mud as she began to walk, her steps making the water splash out, scaring off all the little fishes around her. She crouched slightly, wanting to avoid getting most of her body wet, she crouched in front of a log, a little turtle on top of it, slowly moving.
She smiled and admired the creature, her hands reaching to touch its shell. The turtle stopped to look at her, its head shrinking back slightly as her hands came towards it but didn’t attempt to bite Amelia as her hand came in contact with its shell. Amelia giggled, the slightly smooth cool feeling against her fingers, the texture was so odd but in such an amazing way, she stood up, her legs dripping with the water, some mud on her knees and stuck between her toes.
A boy named Benjamin and his father, Edward, had taken a walk together, heading to the creek, hoping to catch some fish for supper later that night. Benjamin held onto his father's hand, looking around at all the beautiful scenery around him.
This was his first time going to this place, so he relied on his father to know where to be at all times, scared of ever becoming lost. Once they made it to the creek, Charles let go of his son's hand, looking down at the shorter 14-year-old, “Go out into this water, try to catch some fish, I’ll stay here and grab some,”
Benjamin nodded, slipping his shoes and socks off, his feet making contact with the water, shivering, his father chuckling, “Careful, it’s cold,”
Benjamin began walking, soon out of sight from his father, he looked around at the nature around him, looking down at the water he noticed all the types of fish that swam around him, his hands reaching down to grab them, every so often a few fishes leaving his grasp, his feet splashing the water.
He noticed something in the distance, walking towards what he saw before his eyes finally unblurred the thing, it was a boy, with a wrap-around his hair, standing up from what seemed to be being in contact with a turtle. His eyes widened slightly, his mouth beginning to open as he felt such a feeling in his head, he knew who this was despite never meeting him.
“Colony,” he said
Amelia perked up and turned her head at the voice she heard, freezing slightly
“You're colony!” Benjamin said, now realizing this wasn’t a boy, “You’re the colony!” it was a girl, but she was wearing boy clothes, he felt so confused, “If you’re supposed to be a girl, why are you in breeches? You made me think you were a boy,”
Amelia tensed up, standing there frozen for a moment, who was this person? Why did he call her colony? Her name wasn’t colony, it was Amelia, yes she represented a colony, but that wasn’t her name, why did he ask such a weird question? It was so overwhelming, she turned around and quickly began to run away, Benjamin watched as she left, before beginning to follow her slightly, then watching her completely run off. He ran back to his dad, a fish in his hand.
“Dad! Dad!” he called
Charles looked over at his son, “What is it, boy?”
“I saw the colony!” Benjamin exclaimed
“You saw what?” Charles asked, confused
“The colony! I know, like the person!” Benjamin exclaimed,
“Now how are you sure who you saw was the colony?”
“I don’t know I just, knew that she was the colony,”
Amelia's feet hit the ground hard, panting loudly and roughly as she ran, her shoes in hand, her legs and feet wet, sweat staining her armpits, she was fast, quick and she needed to get home. She learned the hard way to not go and make friends with humans, getting attached to one was already too much for her, she didn’t need another Davie.
She was so tired, running up the hill to home, Mrs.Abigail was outside enjoying the breeze. She tripped over her feet and landed on the ground, finally being able to allow proper air into her lungs.
“Oh my goodness, Ms.Amelia,” Abigail said, rushing over to help Amelia up, “what’s happened? You’re running like you’re going to miss supper time,”
Amelia choked on her breath, wiping the sweat off her forehead, “p-people.” she spat out
“People?” Abigail asked
Amelia nodded, Abigail, helped her stand and brought her inside, “let's get you cleaned up,”
Abigail sat Amelia down, using a wet rag to wipe her face, changing her into a nightgown, she put Amelia's dirty clothes into a basket, and removed the wrap on her head, brushing out her hair.
“He thought I was a boy,” Amelia said quietly
Abigail sighed, “Don’t let that get to you, ok?”
Amelia nodded, Abigail, finished, “There, all better,”
“Thank you, Mrs.Abigail,” Amelia said, she always said not to let those types of thoughts eat at her but she couldn’t help it
Amelia lay awake in her bed, tucked up tight in her blankets, she couldn’t sleep, no matter if stories or lullabies could soothe her into slumber, not this night. Abigail was truly the only other person she ever interacted with, every day. Of course, she had interacted with her father, Arthur, but she hadn’t seen her older brother Matthew in some years either, and she sat and thought about that, how truly lonely she was. She didn’t mind having no friends of course, but one day Abigail would be gone. Arthur was rarely around, and when the day came Amelia realized how alone she would be, and she didn’t want that.
Did she not want to have human friends? Sure she would be sad when they grew old and she was still young, but she wasn’t a little child anymore, she wouldn’t cry her eyes out for years and ask her father why things were so different, why she was so different because she knew why and she knew how things worked. Sure, what happened with David was upsetting, it was something she could never forget, but she’s learned so much now, she would never be hurt like that again. Arthur said she would, Arthur said how she felt and what she would do, and she sat and believed him and took his word to heart, but would she do what Arthur said? Is that how she felt?
That boy, he called her colony, and she knew why, but did he think she was a boy? Or did he just say that because of her clothing? But why did that make her happy? Being called a boy, being told she looked like one, she wanted to, no, she needed to. Arthur would have none of it, he would yell at her till the sun went down and came up again the next morning if she ever so implied she liked being called a boy sometimes, saying that would be wrong, and she was a perfectly normal respectful girl, according to Arthur.
Amelia thought about it, Arthur wasn’t here, he was never here, but it felt like all his views were just, laying on her. She squeezed her eyes shut, she couldn’t think like this, she couldn’t let those thoughts fill her head, what would her family think? She opened her eyes again, rolling over yawning. Whatever these thoughts were, she could deal with them another time, perhaps now it was time to try and rest.
She kept her breeches and hid them deep in her wardrobe for when Arthur ever came to visit. However, she wore them often, out in the grass, the mud, the water, in all of nature. Anytime she did her hair she refused to tame her cowlick, and it stuck out, she always made a note to Abigail to never try and hide it when doing her hair, and Abigail listened. Her feet were stained and bruised, but she could care less, shoes were too constricting, they hurt her feet even when they fit perfectly, they hurt, were uncomfortable and she hated them. She hated the texture of shoes around her feet, so they were exposed to the elements often, much to the dismay of Abigail.
She was tucked up into bed, the blankets however sloppily laid over her, bits of her uncovered by the soft warmth, the sun was shining through the window, muffled by the curtains, the yellow light shining over her and her bedroom, her face scrunched up when the light met her face, burying it in her pillow as a last-ditch effort to be surrounded by darkness. Abigail opened the door, peeking inside and smiling at the sight, Amelia just looked so comfortable and peaceful. She stepped inside, walking over to the bed and gently shaking the girl.
“Ms.Amelia, you need to wake up,” Abigail said
Amelia whined, pulling the blankets up to hide herself. Abigail chuckled and pulled them off, exposing Amelia to the cold air and causing her to scrunch up to find warmth. “You must wake up and start the day Ms.Amelia,”
Amelia whined and sat up, her hair messy and eyes closed, her hands rubbing against them, preparing herself to be met with the brightness of the room when she opened them and prepared she wasn’t as her eyes squinted quickly after she opened them. Abigail smiled, “come on, let's get your hair all fixed up,”
Amelia climbed from her bed, stretching her limbs out. She made her way over to her dresser mirror and sat down in the chair, Abigail picked up a brush and she began to brush out Amelia's hair, attempting to tame the cowlick, and Amelia took notice.
“No, don’t mess with it,” Amelia said, swatting Abigail's hand away only slightly
“I apologize Ms.Amelia, but you do have a visitor downstairs,” Abigail said, finishing up the teens' hair, so now it looked presentable and neat.
Amelia lit up at the mention, a visitor, someone here to see her? It was most likely Arthur, her father, because no one else came to visit, she didn’t know many other people. She stood up and ran out of her room, her feet hitting hard on the cold wood floor a wide smile on her face. Amelia slowed down ever so slightly as she made it to the stairs, wanting to be careful and not tumble down them after all. Once she was at the bottom she sped back up, searching for her father. She looked around for a moment before she spotted him and ran up to him.
“Daddy!” she called, running up to him
Arthur had turned around, a smile forming on his face as her smile was contagious. As Amelia ran forward Arthur put his arms out and lifted her, spinning her slightly and hugging her tightly.
“Oh it’s so nice to see you, Amelia,” Arthur said, kissing her forehead
Amelia giggled, “I missed you a lot,”
“I missed you too poppet,” Arthur replied, “I’m sorry for not coming to see you in so long,”
“It’s ok Daddy,” Amelia said, “I forgive you,”
Arthur smiled and sat her down, “ I’ve brought you a few gifts from back home,” he spoke, kneeling to her height, “would you like to come to see them?”
Amelia’s eyes lit up and a smile formed on her face, “yes please!” she shouted, jumping up and down
“Alright alright settle down,” Arthur sighed, Amelia immediately calming down but fidgeting with excitement, “come alone love,” he said, holding out his hand for Amelia to take.
Amelia took Arthur's hand, and Arthur led her upstairs, to her bedroom. Abigail sat on the bed, next to her were wrapped gifts, and Amelia lit back up again, she quickly let go of her father's hand and ran to her bed, full of energy. Abigail smiled watching how excited the young girl got. Amelia plopped herself onto the bed as Abigail handed her a decorated box. Amelia tore off the paper on it, opening up the box, a smile on her face as she saw books inside, squealing with excitement as she pulled the books out, examining the front and back of each. She turned to her father, smiling wide with joy.
“How did you know I've been needing more books?” She asked whilst Abigail cleaned up the wrapping
“Fatherly instincts darling,” Arthur smiled, “I can sense when you want or need a certain thing, so I make sure to give it to you when I see you next,”
Amelia had stars in her eyes, “is that true?”
“Of course, I would never lie to you,” Arthur said, kissing his daughter on the forehead, Amelia giggled.
Abigail smiled at the scene, picking up the now empty box, she turned to face Amelia, “Amelia why don’t you skim over your new books and put them in their special places while me and your father speak in the hallway?”
Amelia smiled and nodded, grabbing her new books and moving towards where her pillows were, flopping down fully as she opened up the first page of her new book.
“Where have you been?” Abigail asked, both she and Arthur were now in the hallway, “You told me you were coming months earlier, you know how devastated Amelia has been?”
“Look I’m sorry, I wasn’t able to sail over like I had planned, I had important business I needed to complete,” Arthur replied
“The only business you should be attending is your daughter, she’s been devastated about how long you’ve been away from her,” Abigail put her fists on her hips, a disapproving stance that could make any man cower
Arthur swallowed hard, sweat forming on his forehead, he sighed “listen I understand, but I have no final say in the work I have to do and when it needs to be done,” he frowned
Abigail huffed, “Lord Kirkland, you shove yourself into work and politics, you’ve left behind the one child you still have contact with, I can’t navigate her through the world and teach her everything, she needs you to do that.”
“I know,” Arthur frowned, “I know, it’s not as if I’m choosing to be away, I love Amelia with all my heart, I just can’t always be here,”
Abigail sighed, “She loves you more than anything in this world, don’t break her apart, please”
Amelia rambled on and on throughout dinner, she was a talkative one, always having things to say, tripping and stuttering over her words yet never making eye contact. A smile was marked permanently on her face and it was contagious enough to have everyone smiling.
“And while I was there I got to touch a turtle!” She exclaimed loudly
“You did?” Arthur replied, in the same manner, a parent would when their toddler told them anything
Amelia nodded excitedly, “I even met another human,”
Arthur paused for a moment, “oh my, that sounds a bit nerve-wracking,”
“It was!” Amelia said
“Ms.Amelia, quiet down a bit please,” Abigail said
“Sorry Mrs.Abigail,” Amelia replied before picking the conversation back up, “It was scary, he chased me for a little bit I think,” she spoke, “I don’t know if he did I just ran anyway,”
Arthur pat her head, “good job lad, keeping yourself safe,” he smiled
Amelia giggled at the praise she received, shoving a bite of food in her mouth, Arthur began a new conversation with Abigail now that he did have a chance.
“How have all the colonists been Abigail?” He asked her
Amelia was too young to have any type of charge in her colony, Arthur held trust in Abigail to do some of that work for his daughter instead, but since she was a woman they barely let her do much which Arthur disapproved of.
“Well it’s hard to say, they’ve been giving me all types of mixed answers,” Abigail replied, “some are happy and some are, not very content with the tax laws in particular,”
“huh,” Arthur replied, “even back home all I ever hear is taxes, taxes, taxes,”
Amelia constantly listened to the conversation, not making a peep.
“That sounds tiring, hearing all of that all the time,” Abigail said
“It can be, but that’s just life,” Arthur sighed
Abigail was hoping to try and have Amelia get used to not being tucked in every night, she was a teenager after all, and her colony was getting older, and stronger too, however, Arthur would not have it, and Amelia was keen on not changing this routine she’s had. Abigail normally would combat this but she knew she would lose.
Amelia was all dressed for bed, Arthur gently pulled the blankets over her so she would be comfortably warm during the night.
“Daddy?” she asked
“Hm?”
“Why can’t I do any political stuff?”
Arthur paused to think of an answer to the question, “You are just, still too young now Amelia, perhaps when you’re older,” he smiled, “besides, you should enjoy being a free young girl whilst you can,”
Amelia wasn’t fully content with this answer but was much too tired to keep pestering, and Arthur could tell. He leaned down and kissed her forehead, “now just sleep little poppet,”
Arthur made his way to the bedroom door, and Amelia spoke up again, “but what if I don't feel like a girl?” she asked
Arthur paused, he didn’t have a response to that question, it was confusing. He opened his mouth slightly and closed it, thinking of a response, “Don’t be silly Amelia, you’ll always be my little girl,”
Amelia thought that answer was confusing, and she sunk into her bedding, “Goodnight daddy, I love you,”
“I love you too poppet,” and then he left
Amelia lay in bed for a few more moments before she rolled over, snuggling her head into her pillow, closing her eyes, and slowly began to fall right into sleep.
On the rainy days Amelia often sat and colored, or read a book, she enjoyed drawing out her dreams so she wouldn’t forget them, something she did ever since she was a little one. She glided across the paper as she sketched out herself. In her dreams she always looked different from her real self ever since she was young, she was in the body of a boy whose name was Alfred.
She used to talk about this dream version of herself often when she was small but kept it more to herself as she grew in age.
Arthur had come to visit her in her room, peaking the door open, Amelia didn’t look up, however. Arthur walked in and crouched down beside her, studying her art.
“What’re you drawing poppet?” He asked
Amelie looked up a bit, “I’m drawing my dream from last night,” she said
“Oh really?”
“Mhm!” Amelia seemed excited as she pointed at a few figures, “this guy right here is me, and that thing right there is this monster I was fighting,”
Arthur smiled, “how come you were a boy in this dream lad?”
Amelia thought, “I don’t know, I just was,”
“Can you tell me about what you did in your dream?” Arthur asked, however now Amelia wouldn’t be quiet for the next millennia.
1770
Amelia hadn’t seen her father since his last visit 5 years ago. Currently, she felt like 16, she hadn’t aged properly either. However, as she got older and older, the image she built of her father fell apart, into little pieces. She was her person now, she could feel the colonists becoming restless too, and she felt restless.
She wore shirts and breeches nearly all the time now, and wrapped her hair too. She stared at herself in her bedroom mirror, frowning. Her hands were on her face as she examined herself, feminine, too feminine. She hated it.
She sighed, taking off her wrap, her hair was long and curly, but it was, long. Her freckles were prominent, her skin no longer pale, covered in bruises even still now. Arthur had already missed her growing up and he’s missing even more, Amelia felt so alone.
Puberty hurt her, she hated it, she hated how her body developed and changed and how feminine she was, she cried and wailed in Abigail’s arms about how horrible she felt. Abigail held her tight often.
Amelia teared up looking at herself, her lip quivering. She turned away, in search of scissors or anything sharp she could get her hands on, she had nine. She left her bedroom, her feet loud, thumping onto the cold hard floor, in a rush. Abigail heard these steps and thought nothing of it at first until Amelia entered the kitchen.
“Hello Ms. Amelia-“ she said, turning to face the teenager, Amelia was searching for something, tears in her eyes, threatening to fall
“Amelia's, what's wrong? What’s upset you?” Abigail asked, approaching her, “What’re you looking for?”
Amelia grabbed a pair of scissors, ignoring Abigail as she ran off to the nearest mirror, Abigail quickly followed, “Ms.Amelia!”
Amelia stood in front of her mirror, grabbing onto a handful of her hair, the scissors in her hands, ready to snip. Abigail walked over, grabbing Amelia’s arm to stop her.
“Ms.Amelia!” She shouted, “What’re you doing?”
Amelia faced her, tears going down her face, Abigail frowned at the sight. “I hate my hair” Amelia sniffled
“Why do you hate your hair love?” Abigail asked, sitting Amelia down on her bed
Amelia sniffled, the waterworks running again, “I can’t tell you cuz then you’ll- you’ll tell Arthur and he’ll be mad!”
Abigail frowned, pulling Amelia close, “I won’t tell a soul,” she said, “I swear on the lord, I’m a safe space,”
Amelia wiped her face with the palm of her hand, “it’s feminine, it looks wrong, it doesn’t belong on my body”
“Why do you think that?” Abigail held the teen's hand
Amelia sniffled, “I don’t feel like a girl,”
“Why don’t you feel like a girl?”
Amelia sniffled again, “I don’t know, my body it.. it just feels wrong like it’s not mine,” she said, “I feel like.. no I know I’m not supposed to be a girl, and it makes me feel so hurt
Abigail wrapped her arm around Amelia’s shoulder, letting her rest her head on her shoulder while she thought of a way to reply, “Would you like me to cut your hair like a boy’s?” She asked, “If you know you aren’t a girl, then you’re a boy”
Amelia nodded
Abigail smiled, and took the scissors from Amelia’s hand, “Come on love, let’s cut your hair”
Amelia sat patiently whilst the woman did her work, they sat in silence, but a comfortable silence. Abigail spoke up as she did her work.
“Would you feel better if I addressed you like a boy?”
“Mhm,” Amelia replied
“Do you want me to refer to you as a different name?”
“Yes please,”
“Do you have a name you wish to go by?”
Amelia thought for a bit, “Alfred”
“Alfred?”
“Mhm” he replied as Abigail finished up in his hair, it was short, side-parted with his cowlick sticking up perfectly now, but it remained ever so slightly curly as it always had been, Alfred was now smiling ear to ear.
Abigail smiled, “I think it suits you perfectly,” she tucked some of the flyaways in his hair, “Alfred Kirkland,”