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It was just past 5am. Only the occasional call of an owl and the rustle of branches in a sea-bound breeze signalled the presence of life outside the apartment. Had Hiori not been pulling an all-nighter to play video games in his office, he’d have been fast asleep, curled in the protective embrace of Rin’s arms. Instead here he was, eyelids heavy with long-denied slumber and wearing a onesie so comfortable he could’ve fallen asleep in his chair.
In stark contrast, the ungodly hour seemed to matter little to Rin, who was out in the hallway, fully dressed and pulling on his shoes. His silhouette was barely distinguishable from the surrounding darkness. Still, the noise he’d made while leaving the bedroom had been enough to alert Hiori away from his computer.
It was nice having a shared apartment these days — it made the inherent loneliness that came with spending a lot of time to oneself less of a burden. Hiori had Rin and Rin had Hiori. In this shared living space, it was just the two of them. The rest of the world disappeared. It also meant that any bump in the night didn’t instantly send a spike of fear through Hiori. Knowing that Rin was here too definitely eased his nighttime nerves.
He leaned against the doorframe, the light from within his office casting a strip of neon pink and blue across the hallway’s floorboards. He watched as Rin shoved his phone into the pocket of a long, black overcoat.
“Everythin’ alright?” he asked.
Rin took a while to reply. “Couldn’t sleep,” he eventually said. “Going for a walk.” It was near impossible to see what expression he bore but it was a dower one from the sound of his voice.
Hiori sighed. He pushed away from the doorframe. The darkness swallowed him but he nevertheless wandered over to his boyfriend. “Somethin’ botherin’ ya?”
Rin didn’t try to back away. He sometimes did when he was stressed. Other times though, he silently sought after physical closeness. This, it appeared, was one of those times. He let Hiori trace a hand down his arm, rubbing in soothing up and down motions, closing the gap between them all the more. “It doesn’t matter,” he muttered, wrapping his arms around Hiori’s torso and waist, sinking his face into the crook of Hiori’s neck. “You should get some sleep.”
“You’re one to talk,” Hiori hugged him back, burying his face into Rin’s shoulder. “Gimme a few minutes. I’ll come with ya.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I wanna.”
Rin was like this a lot, saying he wanted nothing more than to be alone when really he needed someone to fall into when he was stumbling. There was no doubt that Rin was strong, to the point that Hiori couldn’t help but be in awe. That awe didn’t cloud Hiori’s judgement though. He knew when it was time to get involved and when to keep his distance.
He planted a chaste peck on Rin’s cheek, pulling back. “I’ll be ready in five.”
He wasn’t going to question further what it was that had Rin so worked up. If Rin wanted to elaborate, he was welcome to. It was an agreement the two of them held for each other, appreciated in wordless glances and the occasional thankful kiss. No one overstepped the other’s boundaries, they simply knew when to be there and when to back off.
Throwing on a simple but warm outfit to combat the mid-spring chill that clung to the streets of Kamakura, Hiori was back and ready. A thick, checkered scarf wound around his neck, complimenting Rin’s own plain black one. He slipped his hand into Rin’s, a small piece of his mind relieved that Rin was waiting. It wasn’t like Rin would’ve walked out on his own, at least not with Hiori, but he had a habit of doing it with their mutual acquaintances like Isagi. In fairness though, Rin couldn’t stand Isagi at the best of times, meanwhile Hiori was here sharing his food, couch, bed and affections.
They headed out and away from their apartment complex, treading the lamplit streets of Kamakura like two phantoms drifting through the twilight. They walked in silence. Words were something they both agreed were nowhere near as necessary as most people made them out to be. Instead, they never once let their hands fall away from each other’s, fingers intertwined like moonflower vines. That was their lifeline, their connection.
The cold air was enough to slap any lingering tiredness out of Hiori’s system, at least for a little while. No doubt he’d crash the moment they returned home. When that happened, he’d drag Rin back to bed with him whether Rin liked it or not. Becoming a life-sized hot water bottle with a calming pulse and safe embrace was the least he could do.
Because that’s what Rin was for Hiori. A safety. A haven.
“Hio…” Rin’s voice suddenly split the quiet.
“Hmm?”
Rin didn’t say anything more. He looked as though he was about to, but the words evaded him. There was no need to speak though. He leaned his body in closer until his shoulder met Hiori’s.
The message was obvious enough — ‘thank you for being here’.
Hiori responded by resting his head on Rins shoulder. “I didn’t want’cha gettin’ all stuck in yer own head.”
It didn’t take long to reach the beach. With Rin subtly guiding the way, Hiori had expected this was where they’d end up. This place was unrecognisable compared to how it was during the day, overrun with locals, beach towels and parasols. In summer, it was impossible to see the sand for all the tourists.
Tonight though, it was just the two of them here. The tide was on its way out, just past the turn. The breeze was thick with the scent of salt. Dark waves rippled against the sand. Over the horizon, the sky was just about beginning to lighten. The sun would come up soon. It was going to be a clear morning, not a cloud in sight.
Rin helped Hiori get from the pier down to the sand. After that, they walked along where the waves rolled against the shore, tracing the curve of the beach. Every now and again the sea foam dared to reach up towards their shoes. It never quite reached them.
Hiori took in a deep breath. Up above, the stars still clung to their last claim of the heavens. “Did ya used to do this often?” he asked, “before I moved in?” It had been a few months since they’d started living together but this was the first time anything like this had happened.
Rin was gazing out at the inky horizon. Along the nexus where the sky skimmed the sea, a faded lilac hue glowed with the first premature signs of the morning, at last giving up the darkness in place of the dawn. “I did a few times,” he said.
“It’s nice.”
“I’ve never done it with someone else though…”
Hiori squeezed his hand. “Did ya wanna come here on yer own?”
For another moment, only the soft lapping of waves filled his ears.
“At first, I did,” Rin admitted.
He then stopped walking.
Hiori stumbled in the sand, his hand still interlocked with Rin’s. Looking back, he was met with an expression that any normal person would register as angry or disinterested. Indeed, it was almost impossible for Rin to show any emotion without scowling. It was all about the details of his scowls though. There were angry ones. Upset ones. Even humoured ones.
This one sparked the corners of Hiori’s mouth to curl into a soft smile.
At last, Rin untangled his fingers from Hiori’s. Raising his hand, he cupped Hiori’s face, lightly brushing his thumb over Hiori’s cheek. “I’d wanted to come here alone,” he said, “but now…”
There was a faint sparkle in Rin’s eyes when he spoke, one that undoubtably he was unaware of himself. His eyes were beautiful; it was such a shame that he couldn’t think of them in such a way himself. He avoided looking in mirrors whenever he could and called them the ugliest things in the world.
To Hiori, they were among the most perfect.
Upon seeing that grateful glimmer in those teal irises, Hiori’s cheek burned under Rin’s touch. He placed his own hand on top of Rin’s, leaning his body in until they were chest to chest, warmth blooming between them. “Since when were you a sappy romantic?” his eyelids fluttered shut.
“Since never. I’m just saying things as they are.”
Their faces were mere millimetres apart. In the chill of the night’s swan-song, the warmth of their breaths sighed with welcome compassion. Before Hiori knew it, lips brushed against his own and he was melting.
Rin was his warmth. His home. His guard against bitter winds. Rin was the pillar that stood fast amidst the swell of cold, harsh waves, strong and unmoving. The way he cradled Hiori was all the confirmation needed that this love was more than reciprocated. Hands found their way back to each other, clasping together, and their lips refused to part for more than a second at a time. Again and again, they dipped back for more, drinking up intoxicating adoration.
“Hio…” Rin finally pulled back, resting their foreheads together.
“Rin,” Hiori echoed, his mouth brushing against Rin’s once more.
He couldn’t resist. Again, he helped himself to those lips he knew only parted like this for him. Rin held him close, not daring to let go. His grip was controlled, never too tight but never loose enough to let Hiori slip away. Not that Hiori would slip away. He’d be here until the very end.
When they parted again, he sank into Rin’s arms, revelling in the heat. “I love you,” he whispered.
A moment of tension spiked through Rin; Hiori felt it. It lasted no longer than a second before Rin himself was melting into Hiori, stroking the back of his head. “I love you, too,” he murmured. “So, so much.”
A streak of white light pierced the horizon. The glimmer of the sun’s first rays danced across the waves. Indigo crests shimmered like thousands of glass crystals reflecting the sunbeams. Its warmth wouldn’t reach the land for a few hours yet. There was still a long way to go before daytime was truly upon them.
Hiori and Rin stood on the beach, watching the dawn. Seagulls screeched overhead, the wind unable to drown them out.
“Have you ever woken from a dream,” Rin suddenly said, “and it was like you couldn’t tell what was real?”
Hiori hummed. “A few times.”
“It was that.”
‘What?”
Rin swallowed. It looked as though it was taking every ounce of willpower to admit this. A comforting nudge seemed to help though. “I woke up,” he said slowly, “and it was like I’d been talking to- to…” he trailed off.
Hiori nodded. The sentence didn’t need finishing. “Well, whatever that guy said to ya in yer dream, you’ve proven him wrong. National team captain, a true football star. How many more titles has the press given ya again? I think you’ve made it.”
“It’s stupid, I know. You didn’t have to come out here because of it.”
Hiori shook his head. “Nah.” He linked his arm through Rin’s, gluing himself to Rin’s side. “I’m glad I’m here.” He then looked out at the ocean, following the rolling waves across the gleaming deep. “I’ve never seen a sunrise like this before. All the ones in Kyoto came up over the hills.”
“You’ll get used to it,” Rin shrugged.
“Gonna need to see a whole lot more of ‘em before that happens.”
Hiori then let out a long, deep yawn. At last, this all-nighter was catching up to him.
Rin tugged gently at their linked arms. “Let’s go home.”
The trip back was slow. Serene. In this part of town, most of the residences were taken up by families and elderly retirees, so barely anyone was up and about yet. As usual, Hiori and Rin spoke little, instead finding comfort in each other’s closeness. They practically stumbled back into their apartment, fatigue finally grasping for them after its unappreciated absence.
They fell asleep in each other’s arms almost as soon as they crashed down into their bed. It was late enough in the morning now that sunlight filtered through a gap in their curtains, casting golden rays over the bedsheets. As it continued to rise over the rooftops outside, the two of them drifted off to sleep in the softness of each other’s presences, lulled by the distant lapping of waves against the sea shore.