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The Pain Caused By Fear

Summary:

After a night out with the 118, Athena realises she needs to make a change. To move forward, she has to let go of the impossible.

Notes:

I do now own Fox's 9-1-1 and/or characters. I do own any errors.

Chapter 1: Once, Twice, Three times A Fool

Chapter Text

Athena's perspective.

......... ......... .........

1. 

Upon reflection, the answer should have been no.

When Hen extended the invitation to join the 118 for an evening out on the town, Athena didn't really have to think twice about it. For a number of reasons but there were two specifically out of the bunch, that were considered the most important. Two reasons which made the word yes fall from her lips.

Reason number one simply came down to a combination of both work and home. Work had been an absolute nightmare the past week. Calls seemed never-ending, they came through thick and fast, back to back and it felt like she spent all her time on duty bouncing from one scene straight to another to another. It was exhausting and draining, both physically as well as emotionally. So when considering the toll this week at work had taken upon both her mind and body, it would have been so very easy to decline the invitation to instead go home in favour of trying to relax, to unwind and enjoy the quiet there while she has opportunity, especially since the kids are with Michael this week. The entire house she has all to herself; the solitude could give opportunity to curl up in front of the fireplace with a good book and an even better glass of wine. Which to some people would be ideal, the perfect evening and maybe on a different occasion it would be but now to Athena, it's her own definition of hell. Despite the cosy and warm feeling the christmas tree, decorations and fireplace offer, the house feels so incredibly empty and cold without May and Harry in it. Despite the months gone by since the divorce with Michael was finalised, it hasn't grown any easier to not have the children under the same roof as her all the time. It feels wrong even though the spilt custody schedule is right thing for everyone involved. Of course, with time it'll get easier. Athena understands that, of course she does but for now, it isn't easy. It really is harder than she ever expected it to be and rightfully so. There's also the fact being without the kids isn't the only reason why going home was overlooked in favour of accepting Hen's invitation. Going home meant far too much quiet, going home meant too much time to think and dwell. The last thing she wanted was to sit alone in the house missing the kids and allowing chance for her mind running away with itself. There'd been far too much of that as of late. Work had been far too depressing too many times this week, so adding more fuel to the depression fire by staying home alone certainly wasn't her intention. Which leads to the second reason why she didn't hesitate to accept Hen's invitation. 

Bobby. 

By her own logic; if the 118 were heading out for a night on the town to unwind and spend time together after their own rough week, said plans most definitely included Bobby too. Which when subtly questioned, Hen confirmed who else would be there to join them, which much to her concealed delight included the tall, handsome fire Captain. By her own logic, Athena understands it really doesn't make much sense. It's a fact she's very much aware of and owns. She doesn't want to stay at home because it allows for too much quiet and time to think about the man but she's incredibly eager to go out and spend the evening with him... and the rest of his team, of course. The choice is one big contradiction. It's a decision which will only serve to make the whole situation even worse, Athena is very much aware but she can't help herself. 

She's a fool. 

An incredible fool ruled by her heart. Giving emotion so much more power over sense. 

Which is why Athena finds herself at a bar, a bar she's never visited before but a bar which is much more quieter than expected but still busy enough to have drawn quite the crowd. It's a nice bar, all dark wood and low lighting to give the place a somewhat moody, sensual vibe. The atmosphere feels good too, normally her gut can tell if there's something off, shady or seedy about a place but this place is good. There's an easiness about it here that she likes and it's clear Henrietta had been the one to choose the venue where they are to spend their night out. Athena could guarantee if it were up to either Buck or Chimney to pick a place, she'd be walking into an overcrowded sports bar right about now with rowdy karaoke filling the air. Make no mistake there's karaoke here too, just much more tastefully done. Still, Athena most definitely will not be getting up on the stage to sing a song, however tasteful, it's a definite no from her. 

Finding the table she's looking for really doesn't take much effort, because even above the noise of the music and other patrons, the familiar laughter of the 118 can be heard above the noise of the bar. Of course, there's also him. Bobby. Even from a mile away, though she's much closer now obviously, her eyes have developed an unique ability to become laser focused to pinpoint him instantly and now proves no different. As she makes her way through the crowd, her gaze cannot be torn away. He looks good, really good. Very handsome, too handsome if she's honest. For a spilt second as she draws closer, her gaze collides with his and it almost feels as if her lung capacity has been greatly reduced. Just as quick as the connection is made, it's gone again because she's swarmed by the 118 all welcoming her to the table. The crazy thing as Buck hugs her hello, is the loss she feels at the severed eye contact. Pure craziness for sure, eye contact shouldn't feel like that, gripping or intense. Especially not between friends. Focusing attention back on the others, an apology is offered to explain why she ran late in getting here but it's easily brushed away by them all, almost as quick as Hen dashes away to the bar to retrieve a glass of wine for her. 

With everyone else going back to talk amongst themselves carrying on the conversations happening before she arrived, he's the only one left to greet. When he stands up, Athena's eyes flicker upward and again, she loses her breath. Which isn't anything new, lately it feels like she can barely breath around him. His smile really is quite lovely and those coffee coloured pools, which she could quite easily drown in, draw her in further. The dark blue shirt he's wearing clings to him and not for the first time, does Athena wonder what it would be like to peel it away to discover what's beneath. Many a time, she's lost herself in a daydream where fingers have opportunity to explore the hard, toned body hiding beneath his uniform. Such a strong chest, bulging biceps, lovely forearms, large yet gentle hands.... Many a time, she's wondered how it would be to trail her tongue across his skin, lower and lower until her mouth can envelope his length within her mouth. How would he look to her eyes, how would he feel in her hand, how would he taste between her lips... oh god no. No. Her mind grinds to a sudden halt, impossible to venture any further. Hastily, those dangerous thoughts are roughly cast aside. There's a time and place for such thoughts and right here right now, standing before the man in question and their close friends, definitely isn't it. Those thoughts are best kept private, private in her own home, private in her own bedroom when darkness falls to leave her all alone in a bed made for two. In a bed she longs to share with the handsome Captain. 

With the inappropriate thoughts for the time being banished, she offers up a lovely smile whilst stepping into his space. Her arm slides around his waist with ease, so natural, a welcome between them which over time has become standard. "Hello Captain." 

The way his smile deepens as he looks down at her makes her heart ache. The crinkles at his eyes make her heart swoon. She chides herself to get a grip, she isn't a schoolgirl with a crush... no. No, instead she's just a 50 year old woman with a crush. 

"Hello Sergeant." 

Oh, good lord. This man holds such a unique ability to say her title in a way no one ever has and in a way so distinctively him. Bobby says it softly, meaningful yet it holds as much respect as it does flirtation. The way it all wraps around her title to roll slowly off his tongue has become one of her most favourite sounds. There's just something about the way he says it, that she loves, loves so much her mind easily conjures up a multitude of scenarios in all the other ways he could say it. How would it sound as a soft sigh as she kissed him, how would it sound wrapped around a deep groan as she took his cock into her mouth.... oh no. Dear lord, no. Not again. There goes those dangerous thoughts again. Sometimes it doesn't even feel within her control, her mind just goes there. 

The feel of his arm squeezing her against his side draws her back to reality and away from the goddamn naughty thoughts. 

After their embrace hello ends it becomes time to take her seat the table, a seat that just happens to be right next to him, curse her luck. Simply because by right next to, she means right next to him. For the next couple of hours, Athena finds herself incredibly close to Bobby Nash. Not as close as she'd like but by far, the closest they've ever really been for such a length of time. 

It establishes what she already knew to be true. 

She's a fool. 

A goddamn fool for allowing her heart to rule her head. 

A fool to think this to ever be a good idea. She shouldn't be here even if staying home meant dwelling upon her feelings for and lack of action toward this man, yet being her tonight, she's confronted head on with her feelings for the handsome fire Captain. There's no escape and nowhere to hide, from either her feelings or from him. He's right there. Impossible to ignore. Impossible to feel. What with his strong thigh pressed to hers as they sit shoulder to shoulder. Essentially, their pushed up against one another. The heat of his skin burns against her own and the distinct scent she associates with him invades her senses. Bobby smells so good it's sinful. Athena can't help but be extremely hyper aware of the man sitting beside her and everything about him. Her very best is done to keep up and partake in the conversations flying around the table around her but her very best isn't quite cutting it. Many a time a conversation goes completely over her head because her mind is entirely focused upon the good Captain beside her and those dangerous thoughts start to creep back. There are so many things about this man that she loves; little things discovered over time as their friendship blossomed, but there are still so many things beyond friendship that she would love to discover further about him too; like the feel of his lips beneath her own, his bare skin beneath her fingertips as they freely explore each other, the sounds he would make, the solid heat of him within her mouth, the taste of his release as he comes down her throat, the hard press of his cock as he inches inside of her... Athena feels herself grow wet at the thought but it isn't just the thought of such intimacy that she wants to discover. There's also the want to discover how his hand would fit her own, how it would feel to fall asleep in his arms and wake up to start a new day by his side, how it would be to cook dinner or dance with him. His favourite colour, favourite food, favourite place. Everything there is to discover, she wants opportunity to discover. Athena thinks about it all, fantasise about what a life with him could look like. The fantasies are hopes and dreams of a real life, a normal life of grocery shopping and taking the kids to school, a day at the beach; skin kissed by sun as feet wade through waves. To some, the fantasies could be seen as mundane, boring and pathetic but to her, their everything. 

It's exhilarating as much as it is frightening. 

Her fantasies never venture toward the latter, always the former. Fear has no place because there's more than enough in reality to deal with than to add more into her daydreams. Daydreams are safe, safe from outside influence. Daydreams are the one thing free from fear. 

Yet, never one to make things easy for herself, Athena goes ahead and makes the entire situation that little bit more harder. As if it isn't bad enough that she agreed to come out and join them tonight, the entire situation has to be made worse. Why she does what she does next, she doesn't really know. Everyone around her is having a good time, drinks are flowing as is conversation, many songs had been sung though mainly by Chimney. So maybe it's the wine making her feel a little bold even though her heart is completely terrified. Regardless of what makes her do it, she does it. 

Because of course, like the absolute fool she is. 

Bumping her shoulder to his, Athena smiles. "What'd you say Bobby, wanna dance with me?" 

The question seems to take him by surprise and for a very long moment, he doesn't say anything and for an awful moment, Athena thinks he will actually say no. Then he smiles that damn smile and agrees. When he slides out of the booth, he reaches out to offer her a hand. In that moment, everything comes crashing down. Reality hits like a freight train. Simply because her question is answered. Her hand fits ever so perfectly in his, like two pieces slotting together. Almost immediately her mind frantically screams abort, to run away as fast as humanly possible even as he leads the way toward the dancefloor. In very little time, Athena finds herself surrounded by other people on the dancefloor, getting lost with Bobby in a sea of strangers all dancing to the same beat. Then after a few moments the music slows and almost as naturally as it is to draw breath, she finds herself in his arms. 

The worst part is how well they fit together and it answers another of her questions. They fit perfectly. 

The thought of sharing a dance with him was one of her favourite daydreams. When imagining a scene much like this one, her mind always conjured up candles across surfaces, soft music, a roaring fireplace and his arms around her as they swayed. Another scenario had been after a lovely dinner while cleaning up in the kitchen, he would take her into his arms to dance a dance to no music. Just them swaying slowly in silence, nothing and no one in the world but them. And while there may not be a nice dinner or candles or a roaring fireplace, there is soft music and she is in his arms. 

Certainly not a scene of daydreams but certainly one of reality and nothing, no amount of fantasy, could prepare her to feel the way she does right now. 

Athena wondered for so long how they would fit and yet the reality is astounding. With ease. Like they're meant to be. Perfectly perfect. The ease of it all creates such unease, within both her heart and her mind. Her thoughts and emotions tumble violently. For so long, her feelings for Bobby were necessarily locked away because her marriage meant something, even if it had only meant something to herself. From the very first moment in a shady backyard in East LA; the attraction had been instant and stifling. It struck like lightening, a force to be reckoned with. The intrigue to know this man, this handsome man with a maddening smirk and gorgeous coffee coloured eyes, became incredibly great. She felt it then deep down almost to her very bones, even though the weight of a plain gold band rested upon her left hand to hold her back, she felt it. It rocked her entire world to feel the way she had, to feel something so strong. The emotions arrived out of nowhere after feeling nothing for so long trapped within her stagnant and unhappy marriage. But what's more, she feels the emotions now, feels them more so than ever, even more now her finger rests bare and freed from the confines of a gold band and a marriage broken by hurt, lies and betrayal. Yet, it still feels like she's being held back. While this time not by vows made and marriage, but by the experiences of said marriage. As much as her heart longs for this man and as much as she wants to discover everything there is to discover, her heart as well as her mind, is incredibly cautious  and as a result, holds her back for one reason. 

Fear. 

Fear of being hurt. For fourteen years of marriage Michael had lied, withheld truths and cheated. While Athena is certainly not saying the same could ever be said about Bobby, its very hard to allow herself to open up and allow someone in after all she's been through. To hand over the keys to her heart isn't an easy concept to grasp after such experiences. It's even more frightening because of the depth and strength of her feelings. Without even experiencing love with Bobby, Athena knows he would be everything. Everything she could ever hope and dream of. It's a certainty felt to the very depths of her soul. Even as unaware as he is, he holds such power. Her heart recognises him as its other half. The one. The one people spend they're entire life searching for. Yet Athena doesn't have to search. He's right here with his arms around her dancing slow to the music. 

But it certainly isn't simple. The fear is real. She knows how people could and most probably will look at her. A woman unable to keep her man has found another so soon. Even her own mother had choice words for her; while nothing should ever be a surprise where her mother is concerned, the disappointment and shame was crystal clear and it hurt. Hurt more than she anticipated. Many a time her mother's words have cut deep but this time, Beatrice's words served to increase the self-doubt already felt. It hurt that her own mother couldn't see her side or understand her reasoning. To her mother, there was only failure. There was only shame. She was the first in her family to ever divorce, she couldn't keep her man even though no fault ever rested with her and she couldn't keep her family together. She failed. She failed and the fear of failing again holds her back. The self-doubt within is immense. The thought of losing Bobby is horrendous, the fear makes it seem inevitable and so she does nothing. His friendship is enough. It has to be enough because something is better than nothing. Athena cannot make a mistake and risk what they have for something that may never be. 

And yet, a tiny part of her always sparks hope. It fights back to make her feel like she's slowly but surely losing her mind. She feels torn in two. One part screams fear; to rightly remain cautious and afraid to take a chance to have something great. To hide her heart away, to seek safety and avoid heartbreak. The other part screams out to take the chance to discover something great, something life changing, a great love. It's a constant battle and it's quickly become exhausting. 

He doesn't make it easy. Whether on a daily basis or right now. Everything about him distracts her. The way his body feels against her. The strength of his embrace and how it makes her feel. Despite being capable of looking after herself, Athena feels completely safe in his arms. His large hands calloused by hard work handle her gently as they sway slowly. He doesn't make it easier, that's for sure. 

For one dizzying moment that lasts far longer than it should to cloud her mind from fear and sense, Athena wants nothing more than to kiss him. To throw caution to the wind. The thought is maddening, the desire strong. Made stronger as they sway slowly, bodies so close as they move with barely any space between them. She loses herself in the fantasy; how she would slide her hands slowly over his shoulders to his neck, to allow her fingers to slide into his hair at his nape. So lost in the thought of kissing him, it takes Athena half a second to realise she's done exactly that. Not kiss him, no. There's still a fraction of awareness left to stop such drastic action being taken. While she still has some awareness, clearly not enough because while her right is held by his, her left hand had wandered the course imagined within her mind. Anxiety grips her. Almost without permission, fingers slide into his hair and her nails scrape against his skin. She can't breath as result of her own unconscious actions but when his hand drops lower to press her body closer into his, Athena exhales a shaky breath. There's a momentary pause before he pulls back. Her dark brown eyes are drawn to his coffee pools and despite the motion of their bodies continuing to sway, everything stops for Athena. 

Everything falls away around them. Nothing and no one else exists. 

The connection is stifling. Strong in its intensity. Deep, visceral, tangible. It feels more real than anything that ever came before or anything that could come after. Because this is it. This is the exact feeling and connection people spend their entire life searching for. 

Her search is over, her person found. 

The connection lives and breaths between them. 

He must feel it too, right? Right? Because how can he not possibly feel this strength of feeling. Its almost tangible to her, so thick it could be sliced with a knife. 

For one crazy moment with the way he's looking at her, Athena thinks he's about to kiss her. The thought is terrifying as much as it is exhilarating, as scared as she is, Athena desperately wants it. But just as quickly, it's gone. The moment disappears. Her heart screams in despair and it serves to make her own courage wane. For her, it feels like she's losing hold of something she never really had hold of and it scares her as much as doing something terrifies her. Again, such contradiction. Swallowing hard, she looks away. Briefly. Her gaze finds itself pulled back to his, like a magnetic force impossible to fight. The atmosphere again shifts completely, something unknown settles and it sets Athena's fearful heart on edge. Maybe she hasn't lost something. The need to do or say something to ease the tension becomes impossible to ignore. 

"You dance very well, Captain." A million things she wanted to say but the words which leave her mouth came nowhere close. It doesn't escape her notice how they never stop dancing, song after song, they ease together from one to another. It also doesn't escape her notice that this dance isn't at all what a dance between two friends should be. Bodies are so close, the intimacy and softness in the way they touch is immense. 

"Only with the right partner." 

The combination of words and the look in his eyes is deadly. Something about both hints strongly that what she's feeling may be exactly the same as to how he's feeling. To anyone else that may be enough to take the chance necessary but she isn't anyone else. She's Athena Grant, a strong woman worn down both mentally and emotionally. The possibility of Bobby reciprocating isn't enough for her courage to overcome the fear to take the chance. 

With a deep breath, as the third song begins and they continue to sway, Athena clears her mind. Calmness settles. Pushes away every thought and feeling to just concentrate on the here and now. Alone in a room full of people. If asked, that's exactly how she would describe this moment. Like no matter what, it's the two of them together, lost to everyone and everything around them. Despite the multitude of people surrounding them, it's just them. Together. Lost to the world but not to each other. The moment is savoured, savoured because the end feels as though its suddenly and abruptly approaching. Savoured to be remembered later because Athena knows when this song draws to a close, the dance will end and so will this moment too. She'll lose this closeness, the warmth, the safety of his arms. Too soon, the moment of loss she dreaded, arrives. The end but its an end with an unexpected twist. Her eyes flutter shut as his head tilts and delicately, Bobby brushes his lips across her cheek as the final notes of the song fill the air around them.

Oh.

Her breath catches and instinctively, her hands tighten their grip on him. The heat of his lips having seared his kiss into her skin. 

There's something here between them, Athena can feel it. She can feel it in the intimacy of his kiss, the way his hand holds her close at the small of her back, the way they stand still moments after the song ended completely lost in the moment. Athena doesn't know if she's daring him or herself to make the moment last longer, willing both Bobby and herself to further shift position to allow mouths to finally meet. Unable to bring herself to move which leaves her hoping and praying Bobby will, the moment is shattered when a man bumps into them as he stumbles his way toward the bar. It completely decimated the moment. Whatever that was, it's now lost. It's over. Her heart hurts and Athena can feel the harsh sting of tears burning her eyes. She's so disappointed, mainly with herself. Everyday, she patrols these streets and runs toward danger, yet here she is now, protecting herself from the man her heart longs for so desperately. Deep down a man she knows not to be a danger to her heart. The disappointment is immense. Whilst she may be professionally brave, personally she's a coward. An absolute coward. 

The moment is over and he's lost to her. 

Squeezing his hand, Athena drags herself away from him. The walls slam up into place to protect herself, even as her heart weeps behind the defences at her cowardness. "Thank you for the dance, Captain." The look in his eyes makes her weeping heart feel so incredibly worse. The tenderness within his gaze floors her. Why, with a simple look, does this man do this to her? Why does she do this to herself? 

"Anytime Sergeant." 

While the desire to be back in his arms is strong, Athena forces herself to walk away. His gaze is heavy upon her retreating back, she can feel it as she weaves through the crowd. The weight is heavy and it burdens her further. It makes her want to turn around to close the distance so she's able to burrow into his embrace and never leave but of course she doesn't. Feet instead carry on onward away from Bobby back to their table. 

With every step away from him, her heart weeps and feels heavier. 

Deep down, Athena knows she should never have asked him to dance. Deep down, despite the intensity in which she feels, she knows she would do it all over again. After all, she's a fool. A fool who loves so deeping without actually experiencing love with him.  

An absolute fool. 

The thought crosses her mind just how much longer she can stay here tonight. To stay sitting so close beside him and force herself to pretend her heart doesn't belong to him. Pretend among their closest friends that he's only her friend, pretend she isn't in love with their boss. Even though its hard, she retakes her seat beside him in the booth. She tries to ignore the space between them now. Why is there suddenly space? All night they've been pressed against each other. They just shared an incredibly close dance. Why now, is there space? Barely an inch of space but it's enough that she feels the loss of his strength and warmth against her. It feels like such a great divide. Panic surges through her and the space is enough to feel like she's losing something much more profound. The panic can be felt ever increasing within. She's losing something but to those around her, nothing is out of the ordinary but inside, her heart aches terribly. Her heart weeps. 

How ironic that now, she wants to go home. Run away and go home, bury herself in a bed made for two and weep. 

A bold, brave and no nonsense Police Sergeant by day indeed but as a woman by nighy, pathetic and cowardly. A fool. When had this become who she is? When had she become this woman too afraid to take a chance? The answer is rather obvious but this isn't who she wants to be. Yet breaking free of the fear and negativity is harder than it looks. It isn't simple. It has a hold she struggles to free herself from. 

So lost inside her head, despite the fake smile slapped across her face, it takes a minute to register her best friend is talking to her. 

"Hey 'Thena, let's go grab some more drinks. They have a new cocktail I wanna try."

Trepidation fills her chest, a part of her wonders if this is leading where she thinks it is. Lately, there's been too many conversations where she had no answers, just excuses. Despite feeling weary, Athena nods, then glances to the man beside her to murmur quietly, "excuse me." 

Getting to his feet, Bobby allows Athena to slide out of the booth. Almost automatically, his hand rests on her lower back as she steps by. 

His touch particularly burns through her blouse to sorch her skin. She can't bring herself to look at him, cannot allow herself to look into those coffee coloured eyes and see what could be if only she were brave enough to take a chance. So instead she focuses her attention upon Henrietta. Following her friend toward the bar, Athena goes through the motion of ordering herself another glass of wine while Hen orders another round for the others. To be honest, with the opportunity collecting another round of drinks offers, it takes her aback that Henrietta doesn't even broach the subject of Bobby. Her friend is very much aware of her situation, has been quite vocal on the subject and it wouldn't be the first time where she'd have to listen to all the reasons why she's being a complete and utter moron, her words not Hen's of course, because Hen is much more polite in the way she calls her an idiot. Yet to her astonishment, for once, Bobby isn't brought up at all and she's thankful for the small mercy. On top of everything tonight, it's the very last thing needed. She's a fool, that much is very much apparent and Athena doesn't need an outside force in the shape of her best friend to tell her that. Not tonight, maybe tomorrow. So instead she listens absently as Hen chats about Karen and how, slowly, they're doing good work on their relationship to get back to what they were before Hen made the incredibly stupid mistake of stepping out with Eva. Almost as absently as she listens, Athena feels bad for not offering her friend the full attention deserved but her mind is too consumed by the man left behind at the table. The reprieve coming to the bar offers is necessary, though she feels very much as if she's losing what's left of her sanity in the process. The momentary break is soon over and with a steadying breath, Athena follows behind Hen as they weave their way back toward the table. She's bracing herself and yet, when feet slow to a stop beside the table to retake her seat... he's gone. 

He's gone. 

Bobby isn't where she left him. His glass of sparkling water is as empty as the place where he sat only moments ago in the booth. 

Her heart sinks. 

As much as she hates the emotional turmoil his presence brings, she hates it more when the opportunity to spend any amount of time with him regardless of the turmoil it brings, is taken away. 

He's gone. 

Didn't even say goodbye. 

Her night has taken another turn, if it were bad before, it's even worse now. Which is the unique thing about Bobby. It's become both heaven and hell to be around him. She's always happy to see him, always happy to spend time in his vicinity and yet in the same breath, her feelings are a raging sea and he makes it so incredibly hard to breath. She feels suffocated with uncertainty and cowardness. 

None of it matters now anyway, because Bobby's gone. He's gone and taken both the positive and negative emotions with him to leave her behind with a feeling of emptiness.  

"Athena, you okay?" 

"Yeah, sorry." She laughs a little awkwardly, brushing off the fact she'd lost herself in thought. "Hey, where'd Bobby go?" 

"He left whiae you were at the bar with Hen, said he was tired." Buck offers in explanation. 

"Oh, okay." Athena ignores the look on Hen's face. She doesn't need another lecture from her friend, despite the best of intentions, she doesn't need to be told how much of a fool she's being. Maybe she counted herself lucky at the bar too soon if the look on Hen's face is anything to go by. 

With a subtle shake of her head, Athena looks away and by doing so, misses the frown across Hen's face. 

Athena knows very well how much of a fool she is and doesn't need to be told as much. 

Unbeknownst to her, she isn't the only one to feel a fool. 

Bobby does too, for all the same reasons. 

If only she knew, though it probably wouldn't make her feel any better. 

It would just make everything ten times worse, to know they are both fools in love. 

Two fools in love and held back by fear.

......... .......... .........