Chapter Text
Mario and Peach’s honeymoon had been awesome. They’d managed to get away from the Mushroom Kingdom for a whole month to do whatever they wanted – well, for the most part. It started off as a normal honeymoon: They’d gone to the beach, enjoyed a spa and hot springs, and took in the local (for the area) theater. However, things took a dramatic turn halfway through the honeymoon as they’d gotten caught up in a cross-Kingdom-wide adventure that resulted in the arrests of multiple individuals!
It was such a fantastical story that it could have been the plot of a video game! Or even a movie!
And the best part: Bowser didn’t bother them the entire time!
Mario was feeling so rejuvenated following his and Peach’s return to the Mushroom Kingdom, that the first he did upon setting his feet down from the bus was run to check in on his little brother and tell him everything.
Once he made it to Luigi’s home, Mario joyfully hopped up the short steps to the front door and tapped out a series of knocks.
He was caught off guard when he wasn’t immediately greeted, but the new prince of the Mushroom Kingdom took it in stride and simply knocked again a little harder.
No answer.
“Hello?” Mario called.
Still no answer.
Suspicious, Mario decided to peak through the windows. There were curtains covering each window of the humble home but, overall, Mario could still see through the thin material enough to make out if there was any movement. He looked through for a few moments – taking a second to wave off a passing toad who gave him strange looks – before he came to the conclusion that his brother just wasn’t home.
It was early enough in the morning that Luigi would usually only just now be getting his daily cup of coffee and sitting down to read the newspaper.
As Mario wearily eyed the newspaper still sitting on Luigi’s lawn, the overalled prince sighed in defeat. He figured that his brother must have left home early that morning for some reason or another, so he’d just have to tell Luigi all about his fantastic honeymoon some other time.
Maybe his little bro was out finally making some friends?
As he was turning to leave, Mario noticed Luigi’s neighbor exit his own home. Mario waved, but the toad only yawned sleepily and took a sip of his coffee.
Poor guy looked like he’d slept on the wrong side of the bed. Droopy eyes and looking absolutely exhausted, the toad was most likely not a morning person. Still, Mario watched as the toad stumbled his way out the door and down the sidewalk. Mario would have left, but he noticed that the neighbor toad was heading toward Luigi’s house. The toad walked right up to Luigi’s newspaper, grimaced, and snatched the paper up from the ground.
“Hey!” Mario called, startling the toad into spilling his coffee. “Why’re you stealing Luigi’s paper?!”
The toad fumbled between embarrassment at having been caught and irritation at having spilled coffee all over his morning robe, “I-I was just h-holding it for him!”
“A likely story. How long have you been doing this? Does Luigi know why he hasn’t been getting his paper lately?”
Mario figured that Luigi probably did know who was stealing his paper, but he probably also didn’t want to confront his neighbor about it. Luigi had always been too kindhearted for his own good.
Luckily, Mario was there to put an end to this paper thief’s tirade!
Surprisingly, the toad’s tone took a turn for the defensive. He actually sounded offended that he’d been outed as a papernapper, “I don’t think he’d care since he hasn’t been here for a month!”
Huh?
“What do you mean he hasn’t been here for a month?” Mario asked.
Neighbor toad took an unsatisfying swig of what little remained of his coffee, “I noticed Luigi’s newspapers were piling up on his lawn a few weeks ago. He’s usually good at getting it every morning, so I thought he might be sick or something. Knocked on his door and everything, but it didn’t look like he was home! I figured that I would hold his newspapers for him for when he gets back – I don’t want his lawn junking up the neighborhood, after all.”
Huh.
“He’s been gone for a whole month?!”
Mario rushed back to Luigi’s front door.
“Luigi! Luigi, you in there!?”
He checked the doormat and used the spare key underneath to open to door.
Had Luigi been desperately waiting for someone to check on him the entire time Mario had been on his honeymoon?!
“Bro, you in here?!”
He checked every room, under every chair, and behind every door, but there was no sign of his brother.
Strangely, there was a thin film of dust on the kitchen table, and in the bedroom, Mario also noticed that one of Luigi’s dresser drawers was slightly ajar and oddly devoid of any of his brother’s usual overalls and green shirts.
Had he gone on a trip?
Mario didn’t see a note anywhere, but Luigi would have definitely told him if he was going on vacation.
So where was he?
Mario was startled from his thoughts at the loud, repetitive calling of his name from outside the home.
“Mario! Mario! MARIO!! MARIO!!!”
Mario ran to the front door, but had to stop to avoid smacking into the neighbor toad. The neighbor toad was out of breath but wildly waving the morning newspaper in the air as though it was the starting flag to a championship kart race. “Why didn’t you tell anyone?!” the toad accused in a panicked tone of voice.
The former-plumber had to grab his cap to prevent it from falling to the floor as the toad thwacked the bill upwards with the paper. The guy was seriously acting like he had lost his mind! Quickly so as to prevent anymore assault to his headwear, Mario snatched the offending newspaper out of the toad’s hands, “What are you talking about?”
Instead of giving Mario a straight answer, neighbor toad took the loss of newspaper as a sign to finally catch his breath and ramble about something Mario was having a hard time understanding.
“Hey!” Mario exclaimed, grabbing the toad’s attention upon hearing him mention something about ‘his neighbor,’ “What about Luigi!?”
“The headline!” toad gasped, “READ THE HEADLINE!”
One look at the headline nearly made Mario fling the newspaper in the air.
There in his clenching hands, was the headline:
“TOP SECRET! GREEN MARIO BRO TO MARRY KING BOWSER”