Chapter Text
Alhaitham often prided himself on his logic and rational thinking, so when Kaveh called him from his job in the desert to talk to him about wine and to apologise for the fight they had a few days ago, (was hardly a fight, more a heated discussion for Alhaitham) an uneasy feeling settled in his chest. He couldn’t but note how breathless Kaveh sounded, like he just finished running and the long pauses between his responses. This combined with the very sudden out-of-character apology set off alarm bells in his head.
"He's a grown man, he can take care of himself." Alhaitham thought. "But what if..."
Despite Kaveh's previous safe trips to the desert, Alhaitham really couldn't shake off the feeling that something was deeply wrong, so soon after the call ended, he made a quick stop to the Mahamantra building and requested to meet with Cyno.
The secretary recognised him instantly and with the leverage of his position, they quickly set up a meeting. “Maybe the title of Acting Grand Sage isn’t too bad…” He thought.
Miraculously, Cyno was free and the pair met and Alhaitham explained how Kaveh just called him from the desert and Alhaitham suspected he was in trouble.
Cyno looked at him with scepticism. His expression was of concern, but also disbelief of his claims at first because of Kaveh's general ability to stay safe and the fact there was no real proof that anything was off, but he agreed to help because "How often do I ask anything of you, Cyno?" Internally, Cyno did agree that if Alhaitham requested his help personally, it really must be serious.
The pair started their search to the location where Kaveh was supposedly working, but was only met with sand and beetles burying themselves in the dirt. "Okay, so he's not here. He couldn't have wandered too far off, you sweep the east, I'll go west. We meet up back here in 15 minutes." Cyno had no time to interject before Alhaitham stalked off, hand shielding his eyes from the sun just setting below the horizon. Cyno sighed and shook his head as he turned the opposite direction and began to walk. Despite his stoic expression, Cyno had never seen the Grand Scribe so anxious, eyes so restless.
Alhaitham scoured the flat expanse of land, desperate to find a structure that Kaveh could've possibly gone to investigate and get stuck like the idiot he is. The feeling of panic rose higher in Alhaitham's chest as more time passed and the sun set lower. What was wrong with him? Of course he worried for his roommate, who else would bring Kaveh home from the tavern when he got shitfaced, or cook him breakfast in the morning because the hangover would chain him to his bed. Who else could Alhaitham manage to have intellectual and insightful conversations with, though often mistaken for arguments. Who would he come home to? Who else would wait at the door with a smile on his face and a new design to show Alhaitham for approval?
These thoughts swirled in his head as he continued to trudge through the sand, kicking up dust as he went until, just over the horizon line, did he spot a small stone structure poking out of the ground. He quickly jogged over, details coming into view as he got closer. A small stone hatch, presumably 100s of years old, but not a single crack or blemish to indicate its age. The top was sealed with a very sturdy mechanism that, despite Alhaitham's best efforts, would not budge open.
He stood back for a moment, eyes scanning the structure for any weakness points until there! He must've missed it the first time he was looking at the thing because a sizable chunk of stone was loose at the back and he definitely could take advantage of that.
Summoning his sword and all the strength in his body, Alhaitham swung and struck the spot as hard as he could until he heard a short sputtering sound and the hatch door sliding open. "Hah..." He chuckled, satisfied. He barely even noticed the hiss sound as air rushed inside once it opened.
He peered down into the hole and after determining he could not see the bottom, decided against immediately jumping in. "If Kaveh is actually down this hole because he jumped in without thinking, I'm making him do all the chores in the house out of his stupidity."
Alhaitham then summoned a rope, and after securely tightening it around a nearby tree stump, began to slowly descend down the hatch, rope wrapped tightly around his hand as his feet made contact with the smooth stone walls. "A death trap if you get caught." He thought grimly.
When his feet finally touched solid ground, Alhaitham tried to scan around the darkness for anything, but couldn't see anything in the abyss. He sighed before summoning a torch and making a quick pass around the room. He caught sight of scratched out runes on the walls and sighed. His foot gets caught on a small box and upon closer inspection, realises it's Mehrak.
Alhaitham's heart jumped into his throat once he realised and lifted his torch. It feels like all his breath was stolen from his lungs when he saw Kaveh laying there, head limp as his body slumped against the wall.
He immediately rushed over, hands desperately grasping at shoulders. "Kaveh. Kaveh!" Alhaitham tried to shake him awake, but to no avail. Kaveh remained motionless, eyes shut as if he were just sleeping and lips blue with lack of circulation. Tears began to prick at Alhaitham's eyes, threatening to spill over at the sight. "N-no..." A hand ghosted over Kaveh's pale cheeks, stopping just short of his lips. Fingers hover over the blond's mouth in a hesitant test.
Air.
It was subtle and barely noticeable, but a weak breath tickled the tips of Alhaitham's fingers, sparking hope in the younger man's heart. He quickly pulled Kaveh into a hug, ear pressed against his open chest shirt and he heard a thump. Weak and on the verge of stopping entirely, but Alhaitham would sacrifice everything before he let that happen.
Alhaitham laid Kaveh on his back on the ground and began compressions on his chest. One two three four five. He paused as his face hovered over Kaveh's, eyes not sure where to look. "I'm sorry, this isn't how I wanted our first time to be like, but I'll make it up to you if you wake up." He whispers. "No not 'if', when."
Alhaitham then leaned forward, pressing his lips to Kaveh's own and breathed out the breath of life.
This cycle continued for a while, one two three four five, breath. One two three four five, breath. One two three four five, breath. One two three four five, breath.
Alhaitham was unsure how long he had been doing chest compressions, but the dull ache in his wrists and shoulders told him enough. But he wouldn't stop. Never stop.
Alhaitham pressed on, his unshed tears clouding his vision of the blond's face. It wasn't until he blinked them away did he notice some colour gradually come back into the other's cheeks and lips. His breathing eventually steadied and evened out and now it truly felt he was just asleep and not on the precipice of death.
Until Kaveh's eyes finally fluttered open, did Alhaitham stop. A feeling of relief and sorrow washed over Kaveh as Alhaitham held him tightly in his arms, finally letting his sobs wracked his body as he clutched Kaveh like a man possessed.
"Kaveh!" Alhaitham cried, still holding Kaveh. "I-I thought...I.. "
"Haitham?" Kaveh murmured, voice hoarse and head still spinning, "Is that you?" Fingers went up to Alhaitham’s head, weakly cupping the grey strands. Alhaitham’s throat bobbed as he nodded, “You’re safe now, Kaveh.” Lethargic eyes blink slowly at the crying figure above him, crimson eyes hooded with exhaustion.
“Ah.”
With that, his eyes shut again.
“-rents used to say that if you didn’t end a conversation with a loved one by telling them that they’re loved, something bad will happen, and you’ll regret not saying it for the rest of your life.”
Kaveh woke to the sound of a familiar voice.
“Maybe that’s why I always ‘wear my heart on my sleeve’, as you liked to put it…”
Memories instantly flood back into Kaveh’s mind, the darkness, the claustrophobia, the shortness of breath as the last of the air was spent. He shuddered at the unpleasant recollection. Kaveh also begins to realise where he is. His hair is untied and left sprawled across a familiar silk pillow, a warm blanket is tucked around him and he recognises the decor that he often remarks as “distasteful”.
“But what I’m saying is that…”
His eyes widened when he realised what’s playing. “Nononono-” He quickly tried to sit up, only to be met with Alhaitham’s back to him. He was looking at Mehrak, but Kaveh couldn’t see his expression as the dreaded message played for anyone to hear:
“I love you, Alhaitham. And I’m sorry for lying to you. I’m sorry to burden you with this sudden confession. I hope you’ll be able to forgive me someday.”
“Mehrak, pause message.”
The briefcase beeped happily as it complied. A silence fell over the room. Kaveh was horrified as he stared at the Acting Grand Sage. His hand was half-outstretched towards the hunched figure. “Alhaitham, I can explain-”
“Kaveh.”
Alhaitham’s voice cut Kaveh off. He didn't say or do anything for a few seconds until he turned to face the appalled man. Kaveh is met with such eyes full of sorrow and grief. Then Alhaitham pulled his expression into one of anger, the kind that shakes the earth and rumbles the skies.
“All this time…” Alhaitham muttered, eyes trained on Kaveh like a hawk, “All this time!” He shouted, voice shaky with emotion.
Having already just gone through one of the worst experiences of his life, hearing his love furious with him tipped Kaveh to his snapping point. Crimson eyes promptly became fuzzy with tears that quickly spilt over onto ruddy cheeks. “I-I’m so so-orry!” Hiccups got caught in his throat as he tripped over his own desperate pleading. “I never w-wanted you to find o-out like this!” Hands flew up his face as Kaveh continued to wail, “I u-understand if you’re n-not comfortable aro-ound me anymore and want me to m-move out…” Kaveh’s voice broke as he trailed off. His heart squeezed so tightly in his chest, he felt like he could barely breathe. “Oh archons-” Kaveh’s arms wrapped around him as he took in shuddering gasps, mind beginning to become fuzzy. Everything was suddenly too loud. Too itchy. Too warm. Too…everything. Every exhale was like something was ripping the air from his lungs. His eyes stung with the salt of his tears and snot ran down his face as he sobbed.
“-aveh! Kaveh! Look at me!” A sharp voice swiftly cut through Kaveh’s screaming thoughts. Suddenly, there’s a warmth surrounding him and there’s a weight on his ears. Kaveh managed to stop weeping just long enough to see Alhaitham put his noise-cancelling headphones on his head, brushing the golden locks out the way of his face. He sat there, stunned, the world now seemed so quiet. So peaceful, so serene.
Kaveh’s eyes were still raw and red as he stared at the man above him, face only mere inches away. He then felt a head bump against his own as Alhaitham leaned forward slightly, pressing his forehead against Kaveh’s. He could see Alhaitham’s lips move as he spoke, but no words ever made it to his ears.
When he pulled away, his hands cupping either side of Kaveh’s face, Alhaitham had an expression that said more than any scholarly essay ever could. His eyes were soft and his lips upturned in a hopefully comforting smile as he ran his thumb gently across Kaveh’s tear-stained cheeks.
Hope flared in Kaveh’s chest as the pair maintained eye contact for a few seconds. He could feel his heart pounding in his head as Alhaitham stared at with never-seen-before longing. Headphones are quickly torn off and tossed to the side, Kaveh’s eyes widened with desperation. “Haitham, what are you doing? I don’t think I can take this anymore!”
Alhaitham didn’t respond immediately, opting to pull the blond man into a hug. “You idiotic senior…” He murmured against his ear. “I’ve liked you since our Akademiya days…”
It’s like the world stopped and a warm red flushed Kaveh’s face and cheeks, the unlikely confession making the man stammer as he tried to form a coherent thought. “W-What are you sayin- Oh dear, so since we were in school- And a-after that- Mmph!”
Kaveh was cut off once again, but this time with soft lips pressed against his own. Hands, unsure what to do, grip Alhaitham’s arms as he pressed further, deeper, only parting for air. The pair gasp as they both lean back slightly, neither seeming to believe what just happened.
“Kaveh…” His name sounded like a sweet melody coming from Haitham, his Haitham. “Is this real?”
It seemed like such a silly question to ask, but behind the answer was layers of longing and years of pining condensed into one simple phrase that rolled off his tongue with such reverence, you’d think he was in a temple of a long-forgotten god.
“Yes, Haitham, this is all real.”