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It was a typical party at the beach, only a couple minute's walk from the Chateau, and you found yourself sitting on the outskirts, leaning against a tree with a half-empty solo cup in your hand. You could’ve sworn the entire island was here, dancing their hearts out to music that was blasting so loud you could feel it in your throat.
John B was off with Sarah, dancing much closer to the middle of the crowd than you were, embracing all the noise and people and alcohol. Pope was sat on a log beside a couple of tourons, talking very enthusiastically about something you couldn’t hear. Kie was grabbing another drink, getting sidetracked to lecture a passerby about something you were sure they’d done. JJ was stood leaning against a tree, drink in hand with a very pretty girl batting her eyelashes at him.
You always envied how your friends were able to find their places to be at parties. It always ended the same, with you standing alone away from the crowd, watching drunk people trip over themselves until it was socially acceptable to leave.
The noise and crowd was overwhelming, and you set your cup down, glancing around once more before making your way down the beach, trudging towards the Chateau for some much-needed peace and quiet.
When you finally arrived, you beelined to the bathroom to splash some water on your face, taking a deep breath and then staring into the mirror for a minute.
You hadn’t noticed, however, when you snuck off, JJ’s gaze was fixated on you, setting his own cup down when he watched you slip away. He was vaguely aware of the girl in front of him, still telling him a story, leaving her with a half-assed excuse before he followed you.
You were still staring into the mirror, starting to pick apart all of your flaws, not bothering to wipe away the tears that were now streaming down your face.
It wasn’t often that you let your insecurities get such a strong hold on you, but sometimes you got in your own head when you were sitting alone at a party while your friends had the times of their lives. You couldn’t help but wonder if they were happier with you gone.
A knock on the bathroom door startled you out of your thoughts.
“Y/N?” JJ’s voice confused you. “You alright in there?”
Quickly, you wiped the tears from your eyes, frowning when you realized they were so red and puffy that you knew JJ would notice.
You opened the door, giving him a smile. It was futile, as JJ’s face falls the second he takes in your appearance.
“Hey,” Ever so gently, he moved forward, resting his hand on your cheek. “What happened?”
You shook your head, moving back into the bathroom to sit against the wall. “Nothing, just got a little overwhelmed.”
“You should’ve told me,” With furrowed brows, he took a seat opposite you, his back against the bathtub. “I would’ve walked you back.”
You shook your head again. “You were busy, I didn’t wanna bother you.”
“You never bother me,” He insisted, and despite how loud your insecurities were in your brain you could tell he was entirely genuine.
Rolling your eyes playfully, you nodded, conceding your point.
“I’ll stay with you,” JJ said, making himself as comfortable as possible on the bathroom floor.
“You don’t have to-”
“I know.” His voice was firm in a way you didn’t see often. It was a tone he used only with you, and only when you weren’t particularly confident in yourself.
Still, you persisted. “JJ, you should go have fun. I don’t wanna take away from that.” Despite how much it ate at you seeing JJ flirting with random girls, you didn’t want to stop him from the constant flirting, or shotgunning a beer surrounded by his friends instead of sitting on the floor of John B’s dingy bathroom with you.
“Besides,” He sighed almost dramatically, stretching. “It won’t be any fun if you’re not there.”
You didn’t say anything, mind still running wild over how much you doubted his words. Surely your presence didn’t change whether or not JJ or anyone was having a good time.
Looking at the floor, you didn’t see the way JJ’s gaze softened at the sight of you.
“You know, we do like spending time with you.” He very gently nudged your leg with his foot, making you look up at him. It was as if he could peer into the deepest parts of your brain, dissecting exactly what you were worried about.
“I know.” Neither you nor JJ were convinced, with your halfhearted tone. You averted your gaze once more, and JJ’s heart broke at how small and meek you seemed.
He moved from his spot, crawling over to sit next to you, wrapping an arm around you.
“Do you want to watch a movie?” JJ could tell you weren’t gonna open up more, and instead decided to change the subject.
You shook your head once more, fighting the urge to apologize for daring to not want to watch a movie. “I don’t think I could pay attention to anything right now.”
He nodded, standing before holding his hand out for you to grab, helping you up as well.
“Then let’s just go to bed. You look exhausted, sunshine.” The pet name fell easily from his lips, something he’d called you for years. It never failed to make you smile, even on nights like this.
You let him lead you out of the bathroom, towards the guest room that he’d made his own.
The two of you quickly change facing away from each other, with you grabbing an old shirt of his that he kept at the Chateau.
When you were done, you both climbed into the bed under the covers. JJ didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you, pulling you impossibly close. It was an embrace so sweet that you finally felt like you could breathe again, snuggling closer to him and feeling yourself already starting to fall asleep.
The pogues would come back later and find you two in his bed, tangled in each other’s arms. They would surely make a whole scene about it, but that was a problem for future you to sort out.