Work Text:
They both come back from the international break refreshed.
Whenever Heungmin returns from Korea he glows. He’s a big deal here in England. But he’s an even bigger deal back in his native country and all of that adoration, all of that adulation makes his cheeks rosier, his eyes sharper. Harry notices it instantly when the older man hauls in his suitcase through the doorway and they kiss quietly in lieu of a greeting.
‘’Missed you,’’ Harry mutters. Heungmin runs a hand across his beard and scratches it intimately and Harry feels his eyes flicker. ‘’Has this grown?’’ He teases. ‘’You’re like a caveman now.’’
‘’It isn’t even that bad,’’ Harry responds.
Heungmin laughs softly and then leans forward so their lips meet again. ‘’And I missed you more, by the way,’’ he whispers.
They order takeout - some Thai food that they share in a pot between them, sat on the carpet. Sometimes they like to act like this. Fancy dining tables get in the way. But when they eat on the floor, they can touch in whatever way they like. Like, for instance, how Sonny’s leg casually drapes over his own.
‘’England’s top goal scorer, huh?’’ Heungmin intones, shaking his head fondly.
Harry smiles quietly. ‘’It honestly feels like a dream.’’
‘’You deserve it, H.’’ he tells him honestly. ‘’All of this. The kid from Walthamstow. Look at the crown he wears now.’’ The pride is evident in his voice and Harry feels so lucky that he has someone that looks at him like this. Because for all the praise Heungmin receives - he gives it to him ten-fold. He loves him easily.
They have been together since late 2018. And even though they are both older now - in many ways, they are still the same. Even though Sonny does a lot more Calvin-Klein ads, he’s still the bashful 26-year-old Harry fell for. Even if everything around them changes- players that have left, managers that have gone, a new stadium, a changing world - they remain still. This remains constant.
‘’Thanks, Sonny.’’ He says and he brings the spoon of rice to his mouth. ‘’How was Ulsan?’’
‘’Crazy but fun.’’ He said. ‘’Cuti sent me pictures of the ceremony they did in Argentina. Pretty monumental stuff. I really like international breaks. I like that we can all go away and then fall back together so easily. A bit of escapism, every now and then.’’
‘’Yeah, Italy was fun too. The hooligans were out but it was alright in the end.’’
‘’That’s great. I did some shopping for you by the way.’’
‘’Really?’’ Harry raised an eyebrow. It wouldn’t be the first time Sonny had bought him gifts but it still excited him each time.
‘’Mhmm.’’ Heungmin took another bite. ‘’A sundial compass.’’
‘’A sun-’’ Harry cut himself off as he contemplated this. ‘’You’re such a nerd.’’ he laughed.
‘’You know why, right?’’
‘’You’re so corny -’’
‘’So you can keep track of me.’’ Heungmin finishes trying not to laugh at Harry’s reaction. Harry throws his head back laughing, a hand covering his mouth and Son climbs onto his lap whilst he’s distracted and grins at him. I love you - Harry thinks loudly. I love you, you goofball.
‘’It’s clever, right?’’
‘’Sonny,’’ Harry attempts and then he laughs again. ‘’I called you sunshine once and you’ll never forget it. You bought me a sundial to keep track of the physical sun in the sky which you are projecting to be yourself.’’
‘’Not projecting,’’ Sonny says, kissing his neck. ‘’If you say it then it must be true.’’
Harry hummed in approval as Sonny’s soft lips found the nape of his neck. He brought his hands to his boyfriend’s arse and squeezed it. ‘’Thank you, baby.’’ He says, tone shifting to something more serious. ‘’I like when you spoil me.’’
‘’I’ll always spoil you, H.’’ and their lips met again - the taste of their takeout present too.
Harry pulled him closer on his lap and then rolled them over so Heung-min was underneath him on the thick carpet, his dark hair splayed out behind him. Harry pushed his hair back further and Heungmin’s eyes flickered. ‘’You always come back to me,’’ he says. '
‘’Of course - and I always will.’’ Heungmin pulled him down by the nape of his neck and their kiss gradually became more heated and Harry subconsciously began grinding down onto him. They were both in long shorts but the places where their skin met caused a spark.
‘’Take off my clothes,’’ Heungmin instructs against his lips. And Harry does.
++
He’s driving to training and has the radio on. Even though Sonny lives with him, they still arrive at Hotspur Way separately. It’s good to have a little morning to think to himself, with the windows rolled down and the slight breeze that drifts in. The radio is switched on to TalkSport - the country’s most infamous football station.
The next caller comes on and the host switches the topic to Harry Kane breaking Rooney’s goal-scoring record for England. Harry sits up. He remembers the pride with which Sonny had looked at him yesterday and it makes him feel taller. He’s always admired the admiration Sonny gets in South Korea. Hopefully, English fans would respect him more. However, the caller on the radio has a different idea.
‘’If I’m completely honest - the guy is a bit of a bottler. I mean - what’s he won in his career? Absolutely nothing. All those individual records and not a damn piece of silverware to show for it.’’
‘’Do you really think that?’’ the host prompts.
‘’Yes.’’ the caller says indignantly. ‘’He bottles it for Spurs and he bottles it for England.’’
‘’Oh come on mate - he’s our all-time top goal scorer!’’
‘’But he ain’t won nothing.’’
‘’What did Rooney win with England? Absolutely nothing.’’
‘’But at least he won something with his club-’’
Harry adjusts the volume of the radio and dials it down so it isn’t so loud. The pattern of that conversation isn’t anything new to him. Or any other Spurs player for that matter. As Chiellini had famously proclaimed it did seem to be ‘the history of the Tottenham.’ It was inscribed in their DNA that they could not - no matter how hard they try - win a trophy.
Still, it annoys him that despite him breaking a record that some thought would never be beaten - all they can focus on is his trophy cabinet. The piece of metal. The pieces of silver. This rhetoric attempts to diminish anything else he’s ever done. It takes away from his individual achievements. Of course - he would love to win at this club. It’s his boyhood club, and he adores it- but it’s almost like they are cursed in finals. They can never get over the line.
Training is tense. Antonio Conte is still their manager - but it’s hanging by a thread. His explosive comments after the Southampton away game sit in the air between them like an undeniable elephant in the room. The players in the squad that don’t like him keep their distance or whisper behind his back. Harry has always been fairly neutral about the Italian. He tries to perform under every manager no matter what was said. Even if Conte had come out and called all of them selfish. Harry always tries to be professional about these things and he can tell it’s this attitude that makes him one of Conte’s least disliked players.
Heungmin shoots him a smile from across the field and Harry finds himself momentarily distracted. When their eyes meet he remembers yesterday and their bodies entangled - a thorough homecoming after spending more than a week apart. Cuti pulls the hat Heungmin wears over his eyes and the Korean man laughs - white teeth, lips stretched. Harry is so lucky.
When the hardcore training drills are over, all the lads make to go back to the dressing room. And Harry is ready to follow them but then Conte calls his name clearly. The Italian man folds his arms as Harry walks back to him.
‘’Gaffer?’’ he says, curiously.
‘’You know I have issues with the squad. But you - I do like.’’
‘’Ah,’’ Harry says, running a hand through his hair. He doesn’t want to take sides on this. With Hugo still out, he’s the captain of this team and he’s trying to be the middle ground between the rest of the players and the manager.
‘’I’m not trying to cause a wedge. I just wanted to give you a chance - I feel you deserve to know what it could be like.’’
‘’What it could be like?’’ Harry asks.
‘’What it could be like to win. I’m a serial winner, Harry. Everywhere I’ve gone - I win. Except for this cursed place. But I see your mentality - surely you want more than just nothing? I know you do.’’
‘’I -’’
The Italian brought out a red book from underneath his jacket. It would more accurately be described as a vermillion red coloured one with no title visible on the front, it was plain and it was dull looking. What a random thing to do. Harry looked up at his manager with his eyebrow raised.
‘’Three wishes. Just write them down. Anything you want - it will happen. Play it as you like it.’’
Harry furrowed his eyebrows. He waited for the Italian to let out some sort of laugh - that it was prematurely April the 1st or that this was a scene secretly being filmed on yet another Amazon documentary. But Conte’s expression was very serious. Harry accepted the book with a slight laugh to lighten the atmosphere. ‘’Is this some sort of joke?’’ he asked.
‘’No.’’ Conte said. ‘’And if you really want to become a serial winner. You’ll do what’s right. I’m handing it to you because I see something in you.’’
‘’No offense, Antonio. But you’re not doing the stereotype of Italian crazy guy any favours-’’
‘’You’re free to go.’’ Antonio dismissed him, already walking away to bark something at Ryan Mason.
Harry blinked at the back of his head and then glanced at the new weight in his hands. What the fuck. In the changing room, he dumped it into the bottom of his bag and then joined in the banter with Ben Davies who was teasing Eric Dier. Even if things were tense at the moment - there was a core group of them here that had been at the club for ages; had lived through Poch, Mourinho, Nuno’s short stint and, now Conte. It often felt like congregating with a group of brothers.
And of course, there was Sonny. The chemistry between them had resulted in becoming the all-time premier league goal-scoring duo. These were records that meant as much to him as trophies could.
++
The sundial compass Sonny had bought for him was on top of the drawer next to their bed. It turned out that the Korean man had even managed to bag an authentic model - one that looked like it belonged in a museum. It didn’t actually work that well - and England wasn’t renowned for being a sunny country. But what was significant was what it represented. That he would always find Heungmin. Whether that was on the pitch, or in their bed, on the training field, or in a crowd.
It was night time and Sonny had fallen asleep, his head buried into the pillow, the sheets cool against his skin. Harry had kissed him until he had drifted off - the older man was still feeling the aftermath of jet lag.
Harry couldn’t find sleep as easily that night. Conte’s weird gesture earlier in the day had bothered him. Did he really think Harry thought that his stupid book would grant him wishes - like some sort of genie? How ridiculous. In fact - it was so ludicrous that Harry had to test his own theory.
He snuck out of bed and pulled on his shorts that were on the floor. He turned the lamp on, glancing back at Sonny who was still sleeping soundly. The book had been at the rock bottom of his bag but now he brought it out and stared at it with a scoff. ‘’Some sort of Genie, yeah?’’ he rubbed the front cover with his hand as if some stardust would sprinkle off it. Nothing happened.
Just write them down. Anything you want. It will happen.
He grabbed a pen off his desk and wrote the first off-handed thing that came to his head.
A reverse result of the 2015 League Cup final.
It was one where they had lost 2-0 to Chelsea. He waited for the universe to shift, for the ground to shake, for the walls to shatter. But nothing of the sort happened. As he had thought earlier - ridiculous. Conte had truly lost his marbles. He abandoned the book and crawled back into bed, seeking warmth from Sonny.
++
‘’H, Get up - what are you doing napping? ’’
‘’Maybe he’s nervous. It’s his first-ever final, after all.’’
A light slap to his face. ‘’Get up, kid.’’
Harry blinks open his eyes and is shocked to find Danny Rose staring back at him. A young Danny Rose. His eyes contain that optimism of youth.
‘’Oi.’’
He glances to his left. Eric Dier. But he looks like a baby. He hasn’t even got a beard yet.
‘’Why does he look so confused?’’ Kyle fucking Walker. ‘’This better be some sort of new pre-match routine.’’
‘’What -’’ Harry swallows. His voice sounds different. Less mature. He’s in a dressing room and he’s surrounded by Danny, Eric, and Kyle who are examining him like he’s a science project.
‘’Oh, he’ll be fine.’’ Ryan Mason. Harry’s eyes widened. No head injury. And he’s in a player's kit rather than what the staff wore. ‘’He doesn’t want to waste energy talking to you lot. He’s got some goals to score soon.’’
‘’Poch is ready to make his speech,’’ Hugo announces. And Poch arrives like some sort of phoenix and begins saying some words that Harry realises he has heard before.
It’s 2015. They are about to play a final against Chelsea. He’s 21 years old. He hasn’t met Heung-min at this point. Ryan Mason’s career-ending injury hasn’t happened yet. Pochettino is new to the club.
He doesn’t have too much time to think - he’s being ushered into the tunnel where the Chelsea team who were top of the league are lining up. He remembers how it had gone before; John Terry scores at the end of the first half. And then Diego Costa scores in the 56th.
But this does not happen. Instead at the end of the first half, the ball finds its way to Harry when he’s near the goal and he strikes it first time. The half of Wembley stadium that’s drenched in white goes ballistic and they go into the halftime break with a lead. He’s reliving this final. That book - that red book. It - it seems to be working. In the 56th minute instead of Costa’s dagger, Walker crosses the ball into the box and Harry is there to head it in. 2-0. That’s how the game ends.
The first trophy in his career. The first. The first. He has never won anything so he doesn’t know how to react but the lads jump on top of him and the fans are calling his name so strongly that it reverberates. Harry is not used to winning. But he closes his eyes and embraces this moment. He’s won a trophy. Him.
When it’s his turn to lift the cup he holds onto it extra tightly, and grips it the way he usually grips Heung-min’s hips. He lifts it above his head and feels overwhelmed. He sees Pochettino’s warm smile and Danny’s grin. Eric’s wry smile. This was how it was supposed to go. That 2015 team - they were supposed to take over the world.
The BBC commentator tells him that the future of Spurs must be bright - that Kane is the future of England and the country has everything to look forward to.
When they get back to the hotel, Harry instinctively scrolls for Sonny’s contact on his phone but it never shows up. Because they haven’t met yet at this point. It feels weird when he celebrates with the boys - like there’s a part of him missing.
He looks up Heungmin on Google. It confirms that he’s at Bayern Leverkusen but there are rumours that he might be leaving in the summer.
‘’Oi, what’s he doing?’’ Kyle breathes down the back of his neck, the tinge of alcohol apparent. ‘’Oh yeah that Son guy. Heard he’s pretty good.’’
Danny Rose nods. ‘’Levy should be all over him.’’
Later once he’s escaped the party he goes back to his room and finds the red book on the floor. Now that it actually works. There’s one wrong that must be rectified. That champions league final. He feels delirious as he picks up his pen. That feeling of winning - he wants it again. But he wants it with Sonny.
++
He wakes up in another hotel room ; this time in Madrid. Dele pulls open the curtains and seeing him Harry grins, rushes out of bed, and ambushes him with a hug. His Del. Still slightly snarky but secretly soft. ‘’Erm - what are you doing?’’ Dele wrinkles his nose. ‘’Here I am being nice enough to wake you up and you’re -’’
‘’I have an amazing feeling about today.’, he tells him. ‘’We’re going to do it.’’
‘’Be careful.’, Dele says. ‘’You’re just coming back from injury, remember? And Liverpool - they hammered us in the league.’’
‘’It doesn’t matter. I’m telling you. We’re winning today.’’ Harry tells him confidently.
Dele stares at him curiously, like he might allow himself to believe it.
‘’We are - now where’s Sonny?’’
‘’In his room probably.’’
‘’Which number?’’
‘’17.’’ Dele says. ‘Wait - I wake you up and you’re looking for Sonny. What’s the correlation?’’
Harry rushes past the younger midfielder, into the hallway. He’s still in his pyjamas but he doesn’t care. He’s embracing the madness. He can’t wait to tell Sonny about everything.
He knocks three times on the door and there is a moment before Heungmin opens the door. He’s got bed hair and he’s shirtless with some pyjamas slung low on his waist. Harry instantly is distracted by the toned physique. Heungmin seems a little sleepy and his eyes widen when it seems that his brain comprehends Harry is at his door.
‘’Shit.’’ Sonny says, pulling the door shut behind him. He doesn’t swear often and it’s weird to hear it. ‘’Morning H. What are you doing here?’’
Harry tries a smile. Why is Sonny trying to act hard to get? So nonchalant. ‘’I was hoping we could talk before the final. Before everything gets hectic later - you know?’’
‘’Oh.’’ Sonny says.
And something is - off. Sonny looks at him fondly but there’s something deeper missing from his dark eyes when he stares at the younger man.
‘’So you’re not going to let me in?’’ Harry says lightly.
The Korean’s hand seemed pretty set on that door handle.
‘’Look, this is embarrassing - I’m not the only one who does this but even so.’’ he leans forward. ‘’I’ve got someone in my room. So maybe - a later time?’’
Harry blinked at him. What? ‘’Someone in ...’’ he couldn’t even make himself complete the sentence.
Sonny nodded shyly. ‘’Yeah, Danny and I picked up some girls last night. Stupid thing to do - I know. But we were sort of nervous about today and - I’ll get her out as soon as I can. It’s embarrassing that I -’’
‘’You slept with her?’’ Harry asked sharply.
Heungmin stared at him. ‘’What, do you want me to spell it out?’’
Something in this universe was off. There was no hint of guilt on Sonny’s face. And Sonny was not a cruel person so it must have meant -
‘’H.’’ Sonny said, softer this time. He placed a hand on his cheek. ‘’ Are you okay? Why are you looking at me like that?’’
Harry felt his chest constrict. It was hard to breathe. This universe had thrown up the cruellest of curveballs.
‘’H?’’
Harry took a step back and shook his head. ‘’I’m good. Just - be ready for later.’’ he said hurriedly. Sonny was blinking at him, trying to read him. But then Harry was off down the hallway.
He and Heungmin had gotten together in 2018. They’d always enjoyed a close bond. They had always toed the line. But then Heung-min had crossed it. After his 26th birthday party, after everyone else had gone home he had told Harry to stay. And he had told him that he liked him. Since he was in 2019 they were supposed to be together by now. They were together when they lost the champions league final. After the heartbreak on the pitch, Sonny had shown up to his hotel room and they had secretly cried together - knowing they would probably never be in a champions league final ever again.
So what the heck was going on? Why was Heungmin acting like he was single? He didn’t even seem to know that they were supposed to be together. He had slept with someone else.
‘’Did you find Sonny?’’ Dele asked once he had gotten back to his own room, And then he frowned once he saw Harry’s face. ‘’H?’’
‘’Del, mate. I just need a moment.’’
‘’Sure.’’ Dele said immediately, standing up. ‘’And let me know so I can update Poch about anything.’’
He laid in bed in silence for another two hours. He replayed that look in Heungmin’s eyes over and over. Heungmin didn’t even know that they were supposed to be together. In this universe, they didn’t seem to know what each other’s love was like. And knowing what he knew about Sonny in 2023 - that was a fucking shame.
They all get called out for breakfast and tactics get spoken about over their plates. Sonny keeps looking over at him but Harry avoids his gaze. It’s awkward. His reaction was far too emotional and he knows Sonny had picked up on that even if he didn’t know what the reason was. The guy was an empath and had always been able to read Harry well.
Luckily, the rest of the day becomes consumed by the thoughts of the final later and they all get swept up in the preparations. There’s barely any time for anything else. He tries to get excited at the fact that he will be a champions league winner by the end of today. A serial winner, as Conte put it. But there’s something tainted about it.
The first time he’d stood in this tunnel, Sonny had glanced back at him with a smile - even though Harry knew he had been nervous.
This time, Sonny does turn back to look at him but it’s another curious glance. ‘’What is it? You’re acting weird,’’ he whispers.
The Liverpool players are laughing amongst themselves.
‘’Well, it’s the biggest final of our lives,’’ Harry replies, swallowing hard.
‘’It’s not that. I mean you’re acting weird to me. ’’
‘’Sonny…’’
The stadium announcer begins speaking loudly and even though they are still looking at each other this part of the conversation ends.
‘’Good luck,’’ Heungmin eventually tells him and then he takes the hand of the little kid beside him and they walk out onto the pitch.
Harry is nervous even though he knows the outcome. He should feel profound joy, unrivalled elation. It should be the greatest day but all he can think about is how Sonny does not know that they are supposed to be in love. In this universe, Sonny doesn’t know that the sex they have together is life-changing and that they have a secret apartment in Seoul for whenever Harry is in Korea. He doesn’t know that in 4 years time, he buys Harry a sundial compass because they’ve been in love for 5 years and are starting to become cheesy. He doesn’t know how well they work together off the field, how they balance each other in the midst of their fame, how they comfort the other. How even though Sonny’s father is picky with who his son hangs out with, he has embraced Harry so easily. Even if he is about to win this champions league final; the fact that Sonny does not know all of these things makes him feel like he has already lost.
Instead of the infamous early Moussa Sissoko handball - Trent gives a penalty away first. Harry takes it and scores and the team surrounds him in a hug. Sonny reaches for his neck but it’s friendly ;it’s not a you’re mine sort of grip that he was used to experiencing. It’s something tamer. Dele scores the second goal in the second half to make it 2-0 and the younger man raises his hands up to the heavens. ‘’H - you were right.’’ he whispers when Harry pulls him into a hug. ‘’You were right.’’
At the end of the 90 - Tottenham Hotspur are crowned 2019 Champions League Winners and it is Salah who walks past the trophy to collect the losers' medal instead. Yet there is a fire missing from Harry when he lifts this trophy. Is it worth it getting to the top of the mountain if the person you want there the most isn’t with you in the way you want them to be?
++
I don’t want any of this. Take me back to the moment Conte hands this dumb book to me.
The third and final wish.
++
He was at Hotspur Way, staring at his manager. The red book in his hand, the edges of it sharp against his palms.
‘’- No.’’ Conte was replying. ‘’But if you really want to become a serial winner. You’ll do what’s right. I’m handing it to you because I see something in you.’’
‘’H, are you coming?’’
It was Sonny. He was still in his training kit, black wisps of his hair falling across his face underneath his hat. And from the way Heung-min was looking at him he instantly knew he was back. That feeling of safety and security whenever their eyes met had returned.
Harry glanced back at Antonio. ‘’Listen, mate. Everything happens for a reason. Maybe I don’t want to be a serial winner. Winning doesn’t just mean trophies, you know.’’ he pushed the book back into the older man’s hands. ‘’But I’m sure someone else would appreciate it.’’ Antonio gawked at him.
Harry spun on his heels and jogged up to the man who had him hooked, placed an arm around his shoulder, and, pulled him closer. Sonny glanced at him with a smile. ‘’What were you discussing?’’
‘’Well, uh-’’
‘’Fine, walk away!’’ Conte yelled. ‘’Tottenham Hotspur you will always be a loser club! 20 years of failure!’’
‘’What’s he going on about?’’ Heungmin asked quietly.
‘’Nothing important. He’ll be sacked soon anyway.’’
Heungmin covered his mouth and laughed. ‘’H, that was a shady thing of you to say.’’
‘’He just doesn’t get it, though. Everything is all about trophies to him. But here at Tottenham, it’s about more than just that. It’s about the journey too. The people you meet along the way.’’
Sonny nodded easily. ‘’I wouldn’t choose to lose finals with anyone else by my side.’, he said, hooking their arms together.
‘’Me neither,’’ Harry said, pulling him into the changing room.
++
Sonny made slight noises of pleasure as he rode him. The blankets were around his bare shoulders and were large enough to drape over Harry too. He focused on nothing else but the feeling of connection - the purest form of being. Bare skin and open hearts. Harry kept him close, one hand on his thigh and the other on his waist.
Sure, he should have won a trophy by now - he could have. But he doesn’t want to have to manipulate time to do it. He wants to do it the right way. With this Sonny who thinks the world of him. And that was enough to keep him going.
Because the callers on the radio will change their minds next week, and time will fly, the trophies will eventually begin to rust but to Harry - what he has with Heungmin will last a lifetime.