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The first time Jinx kissed Vi, it was a surprise.
Another chase, another brawl, another cat and mouse haul through Piltover and then through Zaun. Vi stumbled. Mistake, she wasn’t watching her feet, she’d forgotten to look for roofs rotting through with only a thin layer of barely-there shingles left. They broke, she fell. She managed to catch an edge with her gauntlet, but the hydraulics were too strong, they were crumbling what was left of the roof. There wasn’t enough leverage to haul herself out. It broke again, she fell again.
Jinx hit her broadside like a human torpedo, knocking her out of a free fall and onto a rotting stair landing inside the house. They landed in a tangle, skidding to a stop with Jinx all but perched on Vi’s chest.
“Gotta be more careful, sis,” Jinx trilled. “Can’t lose you yet.”
Then she kissed Vi, light and playful and square on the lips. Vi startled and Jinx laughed and then she was gone in a flash of blue braids and Vi was left lying there, panting.
—--
The second time Jinx kissed Vi, it was bloody.
Vi was being reckless. Not on purpose. (Right? Not on purpose.) She was angry and cornered. Caitlyn had been transferred to a new precinct by special request. They’d agreed that the breakup wouldn’t change anything, but apparently that wasn’t true at all.
That was fine. Vi could find ways to distract herself, too.
Reckless.
Chasing down dangerous people alone. Sometimes it went the way she planned, with them trussed up and hauled off, but sometimes it didn’t.
Sometimes it wound up with her in an ambush, knocked out cold, waking up tied to a chair in some dank warehouse, her head throbbing and the blood barely dried on her cheek.
(Again.)
(Jinx would laugh.)
Jinx didn’t laugh.
Vi only had to go one round of questions punctuated by fists before Jinx found her. Before Jinx dropped in through the ceiling and tore her way through the people who had hurt Vi like a shimmer hurricane. It was over almost before it had begun. Only one of the men even had the wherewithal to scream before he died. Everyone else was dead before they knew Jinx was there, before they could regret the monumental mistake that had been capturing Jinx’s sister, hurting her.
The blood looked even darker where it slid down Jinx’s skin, contrasted against her glowing eyes. She panted a little, shook out her hands, went to Vi.
She didn’t cut her free right away. She gripped her jaw, hard. Not hard enough to break, but hard enough to hurt. Vi whimpered. She didn’t mean to, but Jinx was holding where Vi had been hit, and it was tender, a warning of a hairline fracture that could get worse in an instant. Jinx’s hold didn’t loosen. She looked angry and confused and dangerous, her eyes wide, her brow furrowed, her nostrils flaring with each unsteady breath.
“I told you to be careful,” she said. “What don’t you understand about be careful ?”
“I’m sorry,” Vi said, and she felt so small, and she hurt so much, and she was sorry.
Jinx leaned in and kissed her, and this time it wasn’t playful and it wasn’t gentle. It was angry, and it pushed at Vi’s cut and bleeding lips, and she let it happen because Jinx had just saved her life and maybe she owed her a little.
Jinx pulled away with a jerk, her movement in sync with the push of her knife, slipping through the ropes that bound Vi’s hands. Even the act of liberation was painful, one last rough drag against the raw skin of her wrists.
She felt the pain and pressure of Jinx’s kiss on her mouth long after Jinx left her alone, after she took herself topside again, after she made her way home and cleaned her wounds and fell into bed and slept and dreamed of blood and glowing eyes.
—--
The third time Jinx kissed Vi, it was different.
Vi wasn’t being reckless. Much as she wanted it. Much as she resented her wounds for closing up and healing and taking the pain with them. She didn’t go looking for trouble. She stayed in Piltover. She went to work. She made sure she kept within protocol, kept her fellow officers at her side as they were assigned to her. She called for backup when the odds stacked up against her. She didn’t fight her way out the way she wanted to.
It itched. It clawed at her. There was a devil on her back that she couldn’t shake off and she couldn’t help but think that maybe if she disobeyed again, maybe if she was a little less careful, she’d see Jinx again. She’d get the punishment she deserved.
But no. She’d broken so many promises already, this one she could keep. Or she could at least try.
So it was an accident when it happened. An honest-to-god accident. Wrong place, wrong time, wrong everything. She wasn’t the person she used to be. She wasn’t the trencher trash, the Zaunite native she’d been in her younger years. She went to Jericho’s to sate at least one craving, and when she was leaving, taking a shortcut through a familiar alley, she got caught.
Other Zaunites who knew an Enforcer when they saw one. Who didn’t know what Vi had already done to protect Zaun, the parts of herself she’d given up to keep it safe. Or maybe they knew, and it didn’t matter, because she was an Enforcer, and that in and of itself was already enough of a betrayal to justify murdering her in a back alley. Probably the latter, she thought as she fought, as she swung blow after blow and missed the weight of her gauntlets. Her wrists ached with each punch she landed, and she hated herself for what she’d turned into. A soft topsider, someone worth murdering in a back alley for standing on the neck of Zaun.
So she couldn’t even really be angry at the man who caught her in the gut with a razor-edged knife. The wound was shallow, but it hurt, it hurt , and it bled like even her blood wanted to abandon her for all the things she’d done wrong. She ran. She still knew how to run. She still remembered how to fly through the streets like she belonged here, how to slip down hidden stairways and fly over gaps and land easy– not so easy, her legs gave out and she collapsed in a rolling heap, but her pursuers had been left behind and she could stagger safely into the dark, clutching her stomach, alone.
She went to the only place she knew to go. One house of hundreds, empty and scattered across Zaun, that were emblazoned with the neon graffiti like a poisonous amphibian warning others away. Not a warning meant for her. Or, she hoped it wasn’t. She hoped she still had a haven here.
The bathroom was dingy but the electricity was still hooked up and the yellowed bulb flickered to life over the cracked mirror, buzzing faintly. Or maybe that was just the blood loss in her ears. She popped the mirror open, pulling out the first aid kit gracelessly. It tumbled from her shaking fingers, cracking open in the sink. She rummaged through it, blinking to try to clear the pain away.
She didn’t notice the presence at the door until Jinx spoke.
“What,” she said, in a voice that simultaneously raised Vi’s hackles and soothed them, “did I tell you?”
“I tried,” Vi said, not stopping her one-handed hunt, but she couldn’t remember what she was looking for. Bandages? Blood coagulant? What was supposed to come first? She couldn’t remember. It hurt so much. Her blood was hot on her fingers.
Her knees trembled and she caught her weight on the edge of the sink with her free hand, feeling distantly defeated.
“I tried,” she said. “I tried to be careful.”
Then Jinx was next to her, turning Vi’s body and not looking at her face but at her wound, where Vi’s bloody hand covered it.
“Is it deep?”
“Not too bad,” Vi said. Advantages of having been stabbed before – she knew what it felt like when her guts were pierced. This wasn’t that, but it still hurt. She still felt a little dizzy.
Jinx took over. She ordered Vi into the great room – “I can’t work in here, there's no room.” – and Vi obeyed.
“Take your shirt off.” Vi obeyed, slowly, painfully, until Jinx had to help her a little to slip it off all the way.
There was a lot of blood. Usually it didn’t bother Vi, but she had to avert her eyes and Jinx was the nearest thing to look at and Vi was in too much pain to pretend she’d rather look elsewhere. Jinx stopped the bleeding and threaded the needle and passed it through Vi’s skin in clean, deft strokes, and Vi did her part by staying as still as she could manage, by keeping her noises of pain locked inside her chest.
When Jinx was done, she clipped the thread and packed the first aid kit away again. Vi moved to pick up her shirt, with a pained slowness, and Jinx said, “Do you promise?”
“Promise what?”
“That you were trying to be careful?”
“Yes.”
Jinx straddled her lap, and Vi’s heart contracted, an animal instinct to run, to fight, but she stayed. She waited. She let Jinx lean in, press a soft, careful kiss to her lips. Then Jinx moved lower, bowing over Vi’s exposed body, and she kissed her wound too. Barely, the ghost of a touch, and Vi could feel Jinx’s hand on her side more presently, but she felt short of breath anyway.
Then Jinx stood, and she looked at Vi one more time, and then she left, walking out of the room, and Vi heard a window slide open, and she knew Jinx was gone.
—--
The fourth time, Jinx didn’t kiss Vi at all.
Vi was angry. She was scared, but she was angry.
It was too close of a call. Much too fucking close. Caitlyn, as much as she had never really understood why Vi always pulled her punches with Jinx – “She’s a terrorist, Vi. A murderer. You know that better than anyone.” – had always stayed her trigger. Had always aimed a little high. Because Vi loved Jinx, and Caitlyn had loved Vi, and that had been enough to keep Jinx safe.
But it was different now, because Caitlyn wasn’t here anymore, and Vi had new partners, new sharpshooters to accompany her brawling style, and they didn’t love Vi, and they didn’t know that she loved Jinx, and even if they had known it wouldn’t have made a difference. And this time, on today’s beat, Jinx had decided to show her face.
Reckless. Stupid. Arrogant.
Playing old games with new players.
Vi had done what she could. She’d shouted her partner down, ordered his finger off the trigger. “I’m taking her on foot.”
Her partner hadn’t listened. He’d said, “I have a clear shot,” and he’d taken it.
Vi saw, even from a hundred feet away, the small, shimmering puff of blood that erupted from Jinx’s body as the bullet found its mark. She’d been knocked off her feet with the force of it, falling against the rooftop. But the sharpshooter was no Caitlyn. His mark wasn’t as precise, but it had still stopped Vi’s breath until she’d seen Jinx clamber upright again and take off running. Smarter now, darting out of sight almost immediately.
Her partner had cursed. “Next time,” he’d said, and Vi had had to clench her jaw and her fists to keep from killing him on the spot.
She went to Zaun the moment her shift was over, and she was angry. Storming. Almost hoping someone tried cornering her in an alley with a knife and a death wish. She was a different person than she’d been those weeks ago.
No one stopped her or flashed a knife or tried to remind her of her mistakes. If anyone even looked twice at her, she didn’t notice.
She followed her instinct, that same thread that had tied her to Jinx her whole life, that had always tugged at her one way or another. It didn’t let her down. She found Jinx in the second story of one of her hideouts, the one with the hammocks, the one that looked the most like their old home.
Jinx was fine, because the shimmer was a better healer than a sister, because Jinx had probably dug the bullet free hours ago and the shimmer had sealed up the skin behind it. She looked surprised to see Vi, her body tensing slightly like an animal preparing to flee, like Vi might be here to finish the job. The thought cut deeper than an alleyway knife, deeper than a shimmer-powered mecha-arm.
“What the fuck was that?” Vi snapped, not bothering with a preamble.
“That guy’s a good shot,” Jinx said, her mouth smiling, her eyes not. “I’m surprised.”
“You shouldn’t be. The rules are different now, you know that. Caitlyn isn’t my partner anymore. You don’t get to be stupid.”
Jinx laughed, and Vi hated when she laughed like this, like she was scared and wanted to pretend she wasn’t. “They won’t kill me. They’re not that good.”
“They are, and they will. I can only do so much to protect you anymore. You have to be more careful.”
Jinx’s eyebrows lifted, her mouth split in a wide, challenging smile. “Oh, using my words against me now, huh?”
Vi felt like erupting. She wanted Jinx to understand. She needed Jinx to understand. Words weren’t working. They weren’t coming out right. Jinx was standing there, smiling, scared, the scar of her bullet wound still visible just beneath her collarbone.
Vi crossed the space between them in a few strides. Jinx only had a moment to look surprised. Then Vi took her face in her hands and kissed her. The tension in Jinx’s body only lasted another moment before she relaxed, melted, pressed against Vi almost as if by accident. Vi kissed her deeply, deeper than she should have, and her heart was racing and she could taste Jinx, really taste her, because this was more than a light press of lips. This was a plea, a promise, and Jinx had to know she meant it.
The kiss broke, just enough for Vi to take a ragged breath, and she waited for herself to take a step back, to let the one be enough. But Jinx was still so close, and Vi didn’t want to let her go and she kissed her again.
Jinx made a small sound, and Vi began to pull away all at once because what if she’d hurt her? What if she’d done something unforgivable? But Jinx didn’t let her go, pulling her deeper into the kiss, wrapping her arms around her neck.
When they finally broke apart, their foreheads still rested together and they were both breathing roughly. It took a long, long moment for Vi to reassemble her thoughts, to remember what she’d done that for in the first place.
“Promise me,” she whispered finally. “Promise you’ll be careful, too.”
Jinx nodded, her eyes still closed. “Okay,” she said. “I’ll be careful. Promise.”
—--
Vi lost count.
The first time she’d kissed Jinx on her own had been a leap, and now she was in freefall.
It didn’t keep the fear away, each time she found Jinx, each time Jinx found her, and they wrapped themselves up in each other.
It was only kissing, always just kissing, but it was more, too. Their bodies tangled, shirts pushed askew and skin marked from hungry mouths and overeager teeth. Vi learned what Jinx’s voice tasted like, muffled in the depths of her own mouth, and every time she heard it, every time she learned something new about the ways Jinx’s body could move against her, her head echoed.
Careful.
She learned how Jinx tasted when she was scared, when she’d had a long day lost in the depths of her head, lost in memories of the past, lost in all the mistakes Vi had made so many years ago and every day since. She learned that on those days Jinx would dig her nails into Vi’s skin, into her scalp, and she couldn’t tell if it was her holding tight or if it was her inflicting the pain that Vi deserved, but she was happy to bear it either way.
Be careful.
She learned how Jinx tasted when she was feeling lazy and boneless and hungry, when their tongues slid together languidly, like neither of them had anywhere to be, like the outside world didn’t even exist at all, like they’d never hurt each other before.
Careful.
She learned how Jinx tasted after the days when they’d chased each other across the sister cities, trading blows that never found their mark, playing a pantomime of enemies, as though they were not the only people in the world who truly loved each other. Those days, Jinx tasted a little angry, and a little frantic, and a little sad, and there was always the ghost of a furious laugh on the back of her tongue, one that slipped out when Vi nipped at her jaw, when she braced the points of her incisors against the tension of Jinx’s throat, reminding them both of the violence she could inflict, too. Reminding them both that Jinx had come by her darkness honestly.
Be careful.
She learned the movement of Jinx’s body, her softness (that showed so rarely) and her tension (that never seemed to go away). She learned how they fit together, how their heaving chests kept in sync with each other, how their arms locked and pulled and circled, how their hands caressed and cradled and tightened, how their legs fit and tangled.
(Careful.)
She learned how Jinx’s body tightened when she needed more, when there was an ache that Vi couldn’t soothe with just a kiss. She learned how to pull herself away, how to recognize and deny her own ache, how to disentangle their bodies (careful) even when it almost hurt more to put space between them when all she wanted was to lose herself in Jinx, to answer Jinx’s ache and need with her mouth, her hands, her body.
Careful, because they both had too much to lose. Careful, because Vi had already hurt Jinx so much, and one wrong move could hurt her again. Careful, because Jinx was the last person in the world who truly knew Vi, who loved her anyway, who had space for her, who wanted to. Careful, because this was Jinx, and Vi loved her, and she loved what they were together, and of all the beautiful things she’d ruined in her life, this wouldn’t be one of them.
Careful, because Jinx was precious. Careful, because this time, Vi could keep her promises.
–--
Caitlyn came back.
Jinx went away.
Caitlyn’s assignment in Piltover was temporary, not meant to last more than a few months. A rotation from her new city as part of a partnership program, and she was helming it as a former Piltover officer. Vi expected it to sting. She expected it to make her feel cornered, like she had in those last months of their relationship together.
It didn’t. She saw Caitlyn across the room at their first meeting, and she felt herself smile, lift her hand in a brief greeting. They chatted over drinks at the precinct dinner that night, and Vi felt at ease. Something had been set free inside her, and the sight of Caitlyn, the sound of her voice, didn’t so much as bring back a whisper of chains.
“You seem…different,” Caitlyn said to her.
“I feel different,” Vi said. “Is different good?”
Caitlyn’s smile was genuine when she nodded. “Yes, different is good.”
Vi wanted to tell Jinx, wanted to let that realization carry her the next time they were together. If it brought them both over a line they hadn’t crossed yet, maybe that was okay. Maybe it was good, too.
But Jinx had disappeared, and Vi couldn’t find her for weeks. She kept an eye on the reports of her peers, sometimes staying late at work to pour over everything, looking for any mention of Jinx. Caitlyn noticed, because Caitlyn always noticed, and she silently kept Vi company, long hours passing between them as they scrubbed daily reports to make sure Jinx hadn’t been captured or deported or hurt.
“She’ll turn up,” Caitlyn would say every few days, with a comforting squeeze to Vi’s shoulder. “She always does.”
Vi wasn’t so sure. She went looking for Jinx when the reports came up empty, sometimes spending all night going from one hideout to another in the underbelly of Zaun. The worst part was knowing that she’d likely crossed Jinx’s path already, that her instincts had led her true, and Jinx was just staying out of sight, insisting on leaving Vi alone.
Then Jinx reappeared all at once one night. Vi had just finished dinner, and she came into her room to find the balcony door slightly ajar, and a dark figure standing just out of the light of the city, nearly blending with the shadows except for the bright purple of her eyes. Vi’s heart leapt, a flood of relief washing over her, and she rushed across the room, pulling Jinx into a tight hug.
“Jinx,” she breathed, pressing a kiss to her temple. “Where have you been?”
“That’s a funny question,” Jinx murmured, her voice rough at the edges.
Before Vi could ask her what she meant, Jinx leaned up and caught her mouth in a furious kiss. The force of it staggered her a little, and she let Jinx push her back into the nearby armchair and straddle her lap and rejoin their mouths again. There was something dangerous, something punishing, in the way Jinx was kissing her. That part didn’t scare Vi. A punishment she could take. But it was the feeling of finality in her sister’s mouth, as though this were an ending of some kind, as though their thousandth kiss would be their last, that sent fear through her whole being like threading tendrils of ice.
She pulled Jinx closer, kissed her deeper, feeling tears inexplicably pricking at her eyes, making her throat feel tight, making desperation well up in her chest. She was going to tell Jinx, I feel free with you. Was going to tell her, I’m not scared anymore. But now something was wrong, and Vi didn’t know how to fix it.
Their mouths broke apart, and Vi kept Jinx from closing the kiss again, holding her face instead, looking into those luminescent eyes.
“Where have you been?” she whispered. “What happened?”
“I don’t want to talk,” Jinx said, and kissed her again.
It was not a war so much as it was a surrender. Where Jinx’s teeth closed over Vi’s lips, jarring bright bolts of pain through her mouth, Vi soothed her tongue against Jinx’s. Placating. Pleading. Answering pain with softness. She’d made a promise, after all, and she wouldn’t break it. Not this time.
When Jinx held her jaw, pushed her head back, bit at Vi’s neck and throat and collarbones with an anger Vi couldn’t translate, she kept her hands gentle at Jinx’s back, at her hips, she leaned her face into Jinx’s hair, she only let free soft noises, sounds that spoke submission and acceptance. No resistance. No fighting back. Only careful, careful, careful.
When Jinx pushed her jacket from her shoulders, Vi helped her. Not because she owed Jinx anything, but because this was what she was going to tell her anyway. That she was ready. That she wasn’t scared. That she was tired of keeping the two of them at a distance. She saw Jinx’s confusion in her brows. Usually Vi would’ve stopped her, kept her from pulling away the layers that separated their bodies, because that was careless and reckless and all the things she’d promised not to be with Jinx. But Vi had seen Caitlyn, had spoken to her, and had only been able to think of Jinx, and that felt like promise. Like something had changed. So Vi helped, and discarded her own jacket on the floor, and kissed Jinx, hoping she’d understand.
Instead of softening, Jinx only seemed to get angrier at that. She pulled up the hem of Vi’s shirt next, putting her hands beneath the fabric, dragging her fingers across the bare skin of her abdomen, her nails scratching. A thrill rushed through Vi’s body and she exhaled, moaning a little. The fear was still there, tied up in the habit of her own carefulness, but she could be brave, too. She lifted her shirt the rest of the way over her head and dropped it on the floor, leaving her only in her bra.
Jinx looked at her, at her exposed body, and she was breathing hard. In the wan moonlight, Vi could see the pulse of her jaw as her teeth clenched and unclenched. Vi waited, waited for a softening in Jinx’s eyes, a realization. None came. Jinx’s expression rippled, like she was holding desperately onto her anger. Her lips curled back, and Vi realized that there were tears welling up in her eyes.
A panic seized her. Was this not what Jinx wanted? Was Vi pushing them too far? Had she misread every signal leading up to now? She stammered, fumbled.
“I’m– I’m so sorry, I’ll get dressed, I didn’t–”
Jinx didn’t shift as she went to get her shirt from the floor, didn’t make any move to allow Vi to dress herself again. A sob broke out of her and she covered her face with both hands.
Vi held her wrists gently, her heart throbbing almost painfully in her chest.
“Jinx,” she begged as quietly as she could. “Please. What did I do?”
Jinx only shook her head, pushed the tears away from her cheeks, kissed Vi with an open mouth. Her arms wrapped around Vi’s neck, and the anger seemed to have faded, though Jinx’s lips and body trembled with barely contained sobs. Vi kissed her earnestly, holding her face in her hands, letting their mouths part enough for Jinx to take her unsteady breaths.
“What do you want?” she whispered.
A short sound, like a broken off cry, thrummed in Jinx’s throat. But she finally answered, and it was a breath that fluttered over Vi’s lips: “You.”
Good. That was something Vi could give. “I’m yours.”
“Don’t lie.”
Vi pulled back, startled. “What?”
“I know Caitlyn is back.” Jinx looked like she was on the verge of shattering. “I knew it was only a matter of time.”
Oh.
Oh.
Vi held Jinx’s face, looked deep into those mournful eyes.
“I,” she said slowly, firmly, “am not going anywhere. Not ever. You hear me? I’m here, and I’m yours, for as long as you want me. I promise.”
She saw the doubt in Jinx’s eyes, the fear, and she knew it was well-earned. She kissed Jinx’s cheek, and felt heartened that Jinx leaned into her, that she reached up to hold Vi close.
“Let me show you,” Vi whispered.
Jinx nodded.
The thousandth time they kissed, it was more than just a kiss.
Vi picked Jinx up effortlessly and walked her to the bed, a bed they’d shared before but never like this. Her heart was thundering in her chest as she laid Jinx down and laid over her and kissed her again, soft and slow and deep. She marveled at how, even after having acquainted herself so intimately with Jinx and her body and the way she moved, this somehow felt new. Because it was. Because whatever else had happened between them, this was different, and it was terrifying, and it was good, somehow.
They lay like that for a long time, kissing slowly, moving slowly, their breaths rising and falling in sync, slipping out across cheeks and necks and foreheads in soft sighs and encouraging moans. When Jinx moved to take her shirt off, Vi sat back to let her, but she was too afraid to look at first, dropping back over her as soon as it was gone and kissing Jinx and closing her eyes, wondering if her heart was beating hard enough for Jinx to feel it through her own chest.
Jinx touched her face and said, “Look at me,” and Vi finally looked. Jinx was beautiful, sinewy and lithe and perfect, her breasts small and softly round and a little flattened against her ribs with gravity. Vi’s fingers drifted over her pale skin, and she felt as though she were touching something sacred. She leaned down then, and pressed her lips to Jinx’s sternum, her stomach fluttering with the way Jinx arched into her a little and sighed high and breathy in her throat. Vi cupped her palms around Jinx’s ribs, distantly marveling at how good it felt to hold her sister like this, safe between her two hands. She kissed her way across Jinx’s ribs, her nose dragging a little as she laved her tongue over the skin, feeling out the lines and edges of her body. Jinx tangled her fingers in Vi’s hair, making small sounds that sent heat directly between Vi’s legs. Her lips found their way down, to where the V of Jinx’s hips met the top of her pants, and she stopped, looked up.
Jinx was watching her, pink eyes bright and heated, lips parted as she panted a little for breath. Her fingers tightened a little in Vi’s hair, a small, acknowledging grip, even as Vi saw an expression flicker over her lips. What was it? Fear? Apprehension?
“I’ll stop,” Vi said, lifting her head.
Jinx’s fingers tightened further, keeping her in place. “I don’t want you to stop.”
The words shot through Vi and she stifled a moan, shutting her eyes for a moment, placing a kiss against Jinx’s hip.
“I’ll be careful,” she murmured.
“I know,” Jinx said.
Vi undid her belt carefully, feeling more steady now, more sure. The rivets clinked against themselves, and the sound was grounding somehow, a little encouraging. She slipped her fingers into the undone trousers, then glanced up at Jinx, just to make sure. Jinx was watching her hungrily, her nostrils flared slightly, her expression rapt. When Vi smiled a little, licking another kiss onto Jinx’s belly, the hunger deepend and Jinx lifted her hips, reaching down to push her pants off. Vi helped her shuck them the rest of the way and dropped them behind her on the floor.
Then she was between Jinx’s legs, and Jinx’s thighs were over her shoulders, and she was breathless all over again because the thatch of dusky blue hair covering Jinx’s cunt was easily one of the most beautiful things she’d ever seen. She pressed a kiss to that first, over the pubic bone, nosing into it a little, her fingertips drifting up Jinx’s happy trail.
“You’re fucking gorgeous,” Vi murmured.
Jinx laughed breathlessly, and her hips lifted, knocking a little against Vi’s chin. “Eat me already,” she huffed.
Vi was nothing if not obedient. She lowered her face to her sister’s cunt and devoured her. A cry broke out of Jinx’s mouth at the first pass of Vi’s tongue, her hands clenching in Vi’s hair. The pull was delicious, stoking the fire in Vi’s belly. She kissed Jinx’s cunt the same way she kissed her mouth – hungry, open-mouthed, her tongue exploring and caressing. Jinx tasted sweetly of rust and acid, the tang of her come sharper and more present than the musk Vi had memorized in all their many makeouts. Her wetness was pooling at her entrance and Vi lapped at it, reveling in the way Jinx’s whine shifted up an octave when she pressed her tongue there. Her clit was already intensely sensitive, her body jolting hard the first time the tip of Vi’s tongue moved against it.
Careful.
Vi tried different approaches – licking the hood in a broad, flat movement; slowly tracing the outer path around the border of the labia; sucking at the clit gently and massaging the base with her tongue. Jinx melted. She went boneless beneath Vi’s mouth, her noises becoming long and low and breathless, her hips rolling like water, her nails gently scratching and relaxing against Vi’s scalp like her own language of pleasure. Vi shut her eyes and lost herself in the bliss of Jinx’s taste, of her movements and sound, of the way it felt to lick against her and feel her wetness grow in response. She held Jinx carefully, one hand gripping a thigh, the other cupping her hip, every so often splaying her fingers and feeling the muscle tension in Jinx’s abdomen as she ground down against Vi’s mouth.
Jinx’s body continued moving, but her hands grew rigid against Vi’s scalp, and her voice dropped away, becoming only soundless, whimpering breaths. Vi was about to lift her head, ask if everything was alright, when Jinx whispered with great effort, “Don’t stop.”
Oh.
Jinx wasn’t quieting because something was wrong. She was quieting because she was close to coming.
Vi kept going, keeping the movement of her mouth steady and rhythmic. She watched Jinx’s body rapturously, memorizing the shapes of her tensing muscles, the line of her upturned jaw, the tension in her gorgeous neck, the way her lips were lightly parted and her eyes were screwed shut and her dark, jagged brows were locked in an expression of concentration.
“Don’t stop,” Jinx whispered again. “Please, please, Vi. Please don’t stop.”
At the sound of her name, Vi felt like she was falling. Her name, said by her sister, who was on the brink of orgasm because of Vi’s careful mouth. She moaned, and pressed her hand up Jinx’s stomach, splaying her fingers, hoping Jinx understood what she meant.
I won’t stop. I promise.
It was another long few moments, and then Jinx folded. Her hands became fists in Vi’s hair, her mouth dropping open, long, hard shudders rolling through her frame. An aching cry drew out of her mouth, and it was the most beautiful thing Vi had ever heard. Then Jinx dropped back, her back arching, hips grinding against Vi’s mouth like she was both desperate for contact and overstimulated by it. Vi stayed steady, letting Jinx use her as she needed, reveling in the ache of Jinx’s grip on her hair, feeling delirious with want as Jinx’s wetness coated her chin.
Then Jinx relaxed, letting go of Vi’s hair and pushing gently at her head instead. Vi pulled away, lifting onto her elbows and placing long, wet-mouthed kisses along Jinx’s thigh and up to the V of her hips. She watched quietly as Jinx panted, her heavy breaths filling the air, her hands on her forehead as she caught her breath.
The first sob that shuddered through Jinx’s chest froze Vi’s heart. She was up on her knees in an instant, leaning over Jinx, feeling at once terrified to touch her and afraid that if she didn’t gather her up in her arms right away she’d lose her forever.
“What happened?” she asked, trying to curb the panic in her voice. “Jinx? What did I do?”
“Nothing, nothing,” Jinx said, and her voice was broken, her mouth trembling where Vi could see it beneath her hands.
Vi felt a terrible fear catch hold of her lungs. She’d done it, she’d finally fucked this up for good. Her first time trying to show Jinx how much she meant to Vi, and now Jinx was sobbing.
“Please,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry. How do I fix this?”
“You can’t tell me that wasn’t goodbye,” Jinx whimpered.
“What?” Vi breathed. Tears pricked her eyes. She felt nauseous. “Jinx, I don’t…please, I don’t want this to be goodbye.”
Jinx lowered her hands, and looked up at Vi with the widest, saddest eyes she’d ever seen. Her tears shimmered as they streaked across her cheeks. “No one has ever made me come like that before. And I don’t know why you would have if it wasn’t because this is the last time we’ll ever…”
Her voice trailed off, but Vi didn’t need her to finish the sentence anyway. She gathered Jinx into her arms in a breathless rush, pulling her against her chest. Jinx didn’t resist, folding against Vi’s body like she belonged there, because she did.
“I told you,” she murmured into Jinx’s hair. “I’m here. I’m yours. I’m not going anywhere. We’ll never have to say goodbye.”
She didn’t know how true it was. A thrill of dread passed through her at the realization that she really had no control over it at all. But as much as she could, she meant it. She would never give Jinx up again, she would never fail her, she would never stop being as careful as she could, careful enough to protect Jinx, to love her, to keep her close.
Her words seemed to comfort Jinx, whose tears slowly began to subside. She nuzzled a little into Vi’s chest, her fingers hooking through her bra strap. They laid there in silence for a long while, Vi memorizing the feeling of Jinx’s breath against her chest.
“Has no one else really made you come like that before?” Vi murmured absently, tracing a line down Jinx’s shoulder blade.
Jinx gave a watery laugh. “I mean, they’ve tried I guess. But I always have to finish myself off.”
A rush of pride and heat ran through Vi’s chest. It seemed right, somehow, that she’d been the one who could do that to Jinx. Jinx kissed her collarbone, and her mouth was slow and heated. If she’d wanted to stop, Vi would’ve been perfectly happy with that – she wasn’t interested in forcing anything if Jinx wasn’t in the right headspace. But her stomach fluttered with the want she felt in Jinx’s body as Jinx turned in her arms, her mouth moving slow and steady from Vi’s chest to her throat, then her jaw.
“You really know what you’re doing,” Jinx murmured. She bit lightly at Vi’s earlobe; Vi whimpered. “I had no idea you could eat pussy like that.”
Vi wanted to respond, she really did, but Jinx’s hand was trailing down her body, grazing her nipple through the bra, then drifting over her stomach to the waistband of her pants. Jinx leaned up and kissed Vi, licking into her mouth a little, and the moan they each let out mingled deliciously between them. Vi could feel Jinx tugging at the fastening, and she reached down with her free hand, their fingers fumbling together until it was undone and then Jinx was slipping her hand in without fanfare, like she couldn’t wait another moment, and her fingers found Vi’s center.
Vi broke the kiss. She didn’t mean to, but Jinx’s fingers slid against her and her head snapped back, her hips rising into the touch, as a high, wanton noise slipped out of her mouth.
“Holy fuck,” Jinx breathed against her throat. “You’re fucking soaking.”
“Not…not surprised,” Vi stammered, trying to get a hold of her composure.
Jinx slid her free hand up into Vi’s hair and pulled her down into another messy kiss. Vi was already panting, her hips lifting in rhythm against Jinx’s hand. It was embarrassing how desperate she was, but she couldn’t bring herself to care.
“You really want it, don’t you, honey?” Jinx crooned against her lips.
“Yes,” Vi panted. “Yes, I want it.”
“You want me?”
“I want you.”
Jinx kissed her again, like she was sealing the promise between them. Vi took her tongue into her mouth willingly, her legs spreading a little wider. Jinx whined, and Vi’s eyes rolled back a little. All she could taste was Jinx, all she could hear was Jinx, all she could feel was just Jinx, Jinx, Jinx. Her fingers sliding over her clit in a steady rhythm, her mouth and body against Vi’s, her sounds humming into her mouth. Her sister, her lover, her enemy, her only friend. Everything, here, between the two of them, all wrapped up in Jinx’s hands and her touch and the way her pink eyes glistened as she watched Vi’s face.
She barely had a spare breath to attempt a whisper. “I’m…Jinx, I’m gonna…”
Then her orgasm flooded over her. Her vision whited out. She felt Jinx kiss her, and she opened herself to it, and her body shuddered and her hips spasmed and she grabbed Jinx’s wrist, hard, as careful as she could, holding her in place so Vi could grind the orgasm out against her hand. And when she couldn’t kiss anymore she felt Jinx’s lips on her neck, gasping a little, and Vi said her name in a blue haze and lost herself.
When it finally passed, she blinked her eyes open at the ceiling above. Jinx was next to her, carefully extracting her hands from her pants, and she was looking down at Vi’s body and her profile was flushed and excited and strangely peaceful. Vi curled into her, hearing the soft, surprised sound Jinx made and putting her cheek to her chest, wrapping her arms around her slender body.
“You okay?” Jinx asked, carding her fingers through Vi’s hair.
“More than okay,” Vi murmured. She felt completely spent and boneless in the best way, her body and her soul satisfied for the first time in what seemed like forever.
“Good,” Jinx murmured.
As Vi lay in her arms, she wondered how many times she’d get to do this, if this were the first of a few, or the first of many. If there were only a few days or hours between now and the end of whatever this was with Jinx. She wondered if she’d be able to keep count on one hand the amount of times she’d lay in Jinx’s arms, in a shared bed, or if the number would bloom so far and wide that she’d lose count.
It didn’t matter just now, she decided, as she shut her eyes and felt Jinx’s body relax into sleep. It was a question for another day, another moment, one less perfect and warm than this.
The years passed.
Vi lost count.