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It was strange to come back to Camp Half-Blood after a year in New Rome. There was nostalgia about the place, but Percy looked at all the kids and thought, gods, you’re so young. He was only nineteen – twenty at the end of the summer – but that was practically ancient at camp. There were kids that he had never met, and kids that he remembered as little kids who were head counsellors now, and a lot of kids who weren’t there at all. It felt like it had after the war, except he knew – he hoped – that none of those missing people were dead.
Something else that was different was Apollo within their midst.
“Is he always here?” Percy asked Chiron.
They were both standing on the porch of the Big House watching Apollo and the group of his kids surrounding him. There was a little blonde girl, no older than seven, bouncing on her tip-toes until her father picked her up; her hands were gesturing wildly whilst she told her story. Apollo listened with a smile as wide and open and bright as the sun that he commanded above them.
“Not always but quite often,” Chiron answered. “Since his time as Lester, he’s made an effort to come at least once a week to visit. The campers are quite used to seeing him now.”
“And he’s – allowed?” Percy asked, having thought that was against the Ancient Laws.
Chiron flashed him a quick smile. “I don’t think he’s asking permission.”
Huh. Percy himself had managed to repair his relationship with his father in the aftermath of the war. There had been issues that they had to cover, but eventually his father admitted that he felt guilty for everything that Percy had experienced, and he didn’t actually know how he was supposed to approach it. It was a start. Now Percy felt reasonably welcomed in Atlantis and visited when he had the time. But that was out of Zeus’ sight, deep at the bottom of the ocean. Apollo was doing this in clear view.
“Huh,” Percy said aloud.
Apollo laughed. It was a musical sound that carried through the air and sank into Percy’s bones.
***
Apollo stuck around for the rest of the day, far longer than Percy had been expecting. He could see the relationships that the god had with his children, and he was glad for it – how comfortable they were around their dad, the physical and verbal affection he gave, how much effort he was putting in. Percy really was feeling friendly towards Apollo when he headed for the infirmary just after dinner, Chiron having told him that Nico was probably in there with Will when Percy inquired after the son of Hades. It turned out that Nico wasn’t in there with Will, though, only father and son were present.
“Oh, hey, sorry, I was looking for Nico,” Percy said, as two blond heads turned towards him.
“He headed back to his cabin,” Will explained easily enough, though there was something in his eyes.
Percy hesitated to leave. “Is everything okay?”
“Sure.” Will smiled tightly. “Just Nico being Nico.”
That could have meant a world of things.
“You know, walking through the Pit of Tartarus has an impact,” Apollo added in a casual tone.
Percy stiffened. Oh, he was aware.
“Dad –” Will’s voice was alarmed.
No one mentioned Tartarus in front of Percy. It was an unspoken rule for him and Annabeth and Nico. Do not speak its name. Do not give it that power, lest of all in front of them.
Percy saw the exact moment Apollo thought oh shit. He must have forgotten that Percy was part of that little club, as unbelievable as that felt. After all, it had been over a year since they had seen each other. He would be far more used to thinking of Nico in regards to his time in Tartarus than Percy.
“Sorry, Percy, I wasn’t thinking –” Apollo started, sounding genuinely concrete.
“Yeah, clearly,” Percy said sharply. He suddenly felt like the infirmary were too small. “It’s fine.”
“No, Percy –”
Maybe it was because everyone else in his life was pointedly not talking about it. Maybe it was because he was so used to ignoring it. Maybe it was the shock of hearing that name in so long. In any case, Percy’s chest was tight in a way that it only ever got after a nightmare these days.
He knew what was going to happen in the moments before the sink exploded.
Apollo and Will were drenched.
“Sorry,” Percy said into the resounding silence, feeling very ashamed.
He should be over this by now.
Apollo pushed wet hair away from his eyes. “No, I probably deserved that.”
“I, um –” Percy hooked a thumb over his shoulder. “I’ll go get something to fix that.”
Will was already moving things out of the way, experienced with what happened when Percy flooded the infirmary. It had happened more than a few times during the Titan War.
“I’ll get it, if you want,” Apollo offered. “I’m already supposed to be gone, can’t linger too long, but I can get something to stop –” he gestured at the gushing sink “– our swimming pool over there.”
Percy glared at him, suddenly enraged, wishing their powers were reversed for a moment so he could make the god burn. “I’m so sorry that my traumatized life is an inconvenience to you,” he snapped.
Apollo winced. “I didn’t mean –”
Will cleared his throat pointedly, cutting his father off.
That was probably a good choice. Percy was not in the mood to tolerate a god’s insensitive attitude today. Rolling his eyes, he stormed out of the infirmary with the Hephaestus cabin in mind. Hopefully by the time he went back to fix the sink, Apollo would be gone. Maybe camp was better with no gods.
***
“Hey, Percy. Can I talk to you for a minute?”
Picking up his unused armour, Percy glanced over to find Apollo hovering on the edge of the training grounds as everyone filed out of the lesson. One of Apollo’s sons hugged him around the waist, leaving the god smiling fondly after him before focusing on Percy straightening up.
“Yeah,” Percy said neutrally.
Apollo had wisely left before he could see him again the other day. His mood had lightened up in the time since. Still, as much as he had calmed, he hadn’t forgotten the careless remark.
“So, um …” Apollo shuffled onto the training grounds, looking more hesitant than Percy had ever seen him – in godly form anyway. Lester was something else. “I wanted to apologise for the other day. I wasn’t thinking. I’m aware of how much you have given for Olympus, for us –”
“Dude.” Percy shook his head. He didn’t want a grovelling speech. “Stop.”
Apollo barged on. “No, seriously, Percy. I am sorry. I – I was speaking carelessly, and … I’m trying very hard not to be like that. If you would allow me to make it up to you, I would like that very much.”
It wasn’t that big of a deal.
“It’s fine. Really.” Percy sighed. “I can – just be a bit sensitive these days.”
“You have every right to be sensitive about that,” Apollo said, looking him straight in the eye. He was being serious. “You went through an enormous trauma that would likely knock anyone else insane. Mental health is more Dionysus’ domain, but I know a few bits here and there, and I …” He closed his mouth, pursed his lips, started again. “I do feel really bad. I should never have said anything.”
Percy nodded, now wishing to just move on. “Apology accepted.”
“What would you like me to do for you? To make up for it?” Apollo clarified.
For a long moment, Percy thought he was joking. Apology given, apology accepted, end of. But the longer he stared, the more earnest Apollo’s expression became. He had a beautiful face, Percy thought vaguely before dismissing the thought with a sharp shake of his head. Of course he did. He was a god.
“It’s fine, dude. Like I said, apology accepted. I don’t need you to do anything for me.”
“You’re at New Rome University now, right?” Apollo went on like he didn’t even hear him. “I’m sure you’re doing fine, but – if you ever need help, I can assist you. I am the god of education.”
Percy blinked, baffled. “You – you’re the god of education?”
Something like offence flashed over Apollo’s face. “Yes.”
It seemed they were going one step ahead, two steps backwards.
“Sorry, I was, um – it just surprised me. I didn’t know that.” He had just assumed Athena would be the god of education, if there was a god of education. “If you …” Well, he may as well, right? Help freely given. Percy huffed a small laugh. “If you’re sure, yeah, you can help me study.”
Apollo smiled, bright as the sun. “You will passing with flying colours, Percy Jackson.”
Percy found himself smiling back.
***
“Sorry, I got caught up talking to Annabeth,” Percy said as he plopped himself down in his chair.
They were at a café on the corner of New Rome. It had the best muffins that Percy had ever tasted in his life, and Apollo had fallen in love with them as well, despite not needing to eat human food, so it had become a regular meet-up for them. Percy was supposed to be there ten minutes ago. He noted that Apollo had already ordered, set out on the table. His wonderful muffins were waiting for him.
“No worries.” Apollo flashed him a smile, almost blindingly bright. “A few more minutes and I’d have thought I was getting stood up though. Would’ve been embarrassing. That doesn’t happen to me.”
Percy laughed and bit into his muffin. “Oh, of course, you’re far too pretty for that,” he said around his mouthful.
Sarcasm was thick in his tone, but Apollo preened like he’d paid him a compliment.
They were doing flashcards today. Apollo already had them in his hand, shuffling them almost too fast for Percy to keep track of them. He placed the rest of the muffin down on the table, running his finger over his lips to make sure he caught all the crumbs and licking it clean. It really did taste wonderful. When his eyes caught on Apollo, he saw that the god was determinedly staring down at the cards.
“What, uh … happened there?” Apollo asked hesitantly. Percy stared at him blankly. “Annabeth.”
Oh. Their break-up.
“We decided not to be in a romantic relationship, at least for now.”
It wasn’t like he lost Annabeth. She was still his best friend. But they had needed some space from each other after everything. Their trauma had been too entwined. His trauma triggers hers, and her trauma triggered his, and it had been a mess that they needed to take a step back from if they were going to get anywhere. Now it was like a door half-open; maybe one day, maybe, one day.
Apollo nodded like that made sense. “Sometimes it doesn’t work out.”
“We’re still friends,” Percy found himself saying somewhat defensively. “That hasn’t changed.”
“It would be a shame if it had. You were always good friends.” Apollo’s tone wasn’t soothing but there was something in it that had Percy suspicious that he was trying to calm him down somehow. He shuffled the flashcards again, stopped and then leaned back. “Alright, ready?”
Percy spread out his hands; bring it.
Their study session lasted half an hour before they took a well-deserved break, in Percy’s opinion. Two hours later, they were still sitting in the same place, flashcards long forgotten, and Percy’s stomach was cramped from laughing as Apollo showed him the texts he and Hermes had exchanged recently.
***
There came a point when Percy had to admit that he spent more time doing other things with Apollo – just casual things – than they did studying. He was now used to the god popping into his apartment, appearing beside him on the street, sending him memes throughout the night for him to laugh at when he woke up. It had gotten to the point that Percy thought about him when he wasn’t there.
That was dangerous.
“Why do you keep coming around?” he asked when Apollo approached him with a polystyrene cup.
As always, it would be some kind of tea; Apollo knew coffee was not good for his ADHD.
Around them, the citizens of New Rome went about their daily business. Some would take a double glance, but most didn’t. Apollo thankfully shielded his godly aura when he was in New Rome. It would just be assumed that he was a powerful demigod, unless someone made an effort to look too closely.
Apollo arched a brow as he handed over the cup. “And here I was thinking I was starting to be welcomed.”
Percy ignored that. “But why would you want to be? You’ve helped me with my studying so much that I’m actually confident that I might pass.” Which was huge. “You don’t need to be here.”
He didn’t need to help him study either, which was why he still didn’t understand why he did.
“I want to be here,” Apollo said calmly.
Like that made any sense.
They weren’t friends. They didn’t do casual favours for each other with no expectation of something in return. Apollo was a god, no matter how reformed, and he worked with a currency of opportunities all in his favour. He wasn’t trying to hook up with him – or at least, Percy didn’t think so. He doubted Apollo would ever want him like that, and he must know that Percy would never, ever go for a god. Besides, if that was the case, Apollo would have made a move long before now. The size of Cabin 7 and the small age gaps told Percy that the god wasn’t the kind to play the long game.
“But why?” Percy pressed.
Apollo looked at him evenly, his mouth curving. “I like you, Percy. Is that so hard to believe?”
Huh. Maybe they were friends.
***
They were watching Mamma Mia 2 to rewind down from a studying session, and Percy would even admit aloud that these calm moments with Apollo were nice. Or it was until Apollo asked which of the guys he thought represented Poseidon in his and Sally’s summer fling twenty years ago, after which Percy started ‘la la la’ing his way through the movie and trying, desperately, not to picture it.
They had somehow managed to become pressed up against each other’s side, Apollo’s heat burning in the contact points. It wasn’t overwhelming though; Percy was starting to get used to it, after all his time in the god’s presence. He tried not to miss it when Apollo was gone and he was left with the ever-present chill that had become his natural state after Tartarus.
“How did you get this scar?”
Percy glanced down reflexively as Apollo lightly traced his index finger over the burn that ran across his collarbone. A shiver traced his spine. Judging by the quirk of Apollo’s lip, he noticed.
“Mount St. Helen’s,” Percy answered nonchalantly, looking back at the TV.
Apollo hummed. “I thought Calypso healed you.”
It always made him feel a little strange to realize how much of his life the gods actually knew about. There was no real privacy. He wondered if they had watched his time on the island, like a television show for their own entertainment. Anger burned, briefly, before he swallowed it down.
“She did.” His voice was curt. “But even she could only do so much.”
“I can heal you,” Apollo offered, almost hesitantly, after a beat of silence.
It really is over, and I’ve let everyone down, Sophie said on screen.
Something sour and bitter twisted in his stomach. Percy shrugged his shoulder, dislodging Apollo’s hand from where it still rested brushing his collarbone. Some things couldn’t be erased that easily.
“No.” He kept his eyes on Sophie. “I want to keep it.”
Apollo didn’t ask about any of his scars after that, but Percy felt him trace them throughout the movie. Like he was trying to prove to Percy that he acknowledged them and their stories.
***
Percy had been in a bad mood since he woke up, groggy and drained. He hadn’t had a good night’s due to nightmares, and he might have also had a prophetic dream or whatever it was called when he dreamed of the past, but he wasn’t really sure if it was or if he’d been his imagination. Either way, his day was terrible before it had even reached 5AM and that was when he last saw sleep.
“Wakey wakey –”
“Don’t,” Percy snarled, lifting his head from the kitchen table to glare fiercely at Apollo. There was a flash of satisfaction at the startlement that cross Apollo’s features. “I’m debating staying home today. I’ve decided that a degree isn’t worth it. Neither are social interactions. Go away.”
He dropped his head again.
Of course Apollo didn’t listen. Percy sensed more than heard him sit in the other plastic chair. The heat coming off the god warded away the chill in Percy’s bones. He pretended it didn’t matter.
“Someone clearly is not having a good morning. How can I help?”
“Give me a whole new life?” Percy suggested, muffled against the tabletop.
Apollo made a sympathetic noise, which was a smart choice because if he’d laughed at Percy’s dramatics – yes, he was aware he was being dramatic – Percy might have just had to kill him.
“Unfortunately, that is beyond my powers,” he remarked. “How about a cup of tea?”
Percy sighed and straightened up, one elbow propped on the table and his chin propped on his hand. “I don’t want a cup of tea. I want to be able to fucking sleep without –” he swallowed down the words.
Apollo’s eyes watched him carefully. “Nightmares?”
“Yeah.” He rubbed at his face. “And maybe a demigod dream. I don’t know.”
“What did you see?”
Percy hesitated. He didn’t feel comfortable telling Apollo that he might have witnessed him grieving one of his past lovers. A difficult moment that should have been Apollo and Artemis’ alone. He didn’t know what was worse: for his brain to bizarrely come up with such a scenario on its own, or for whoever it was to decide that Percy needed to see that. Why the hell would he need to see that?
You always chase the things that hurt you the most, Artemis had scolded her brother, even as she had cradled him with the tenderness of a mother. Your heart is too soft, Apollo, and it falls too easily.
Percy stared at the god across from him, patiently waiting for his answer.
“Nothing. It doesn’t matter.” He looked away, stared at the kettle. “On second thought, I’d quite like a cup of tea.”
He was too tired to think about those implications.
***
Nico and Will were visiting New Rome because Will wanted to check it out. He was planning on joining the university when he had the chance. A tour was easy to come across when your boyfriend’s sister was the Praetor and your boyfriend could shadow-travel you across the country.
At least that was what they told Percy. He was beginning to suspect otherwise.
“So. I hear you and Dad have been hanging out a lot recently.”
Percy froze, his cup of orange juice half-way to his mouth.
Will was sitting on his couch, ankles crossed, half leaning into Nico, as the pair of them looked at Percy. His posture and his tone were casual. Percy did not trust it. Nico looked almost amused.
“Yeah.” Percy cleared his throat. He took a large gulp. “He’s been helping me study.”
“So I hear,” Will said in the same deceptively casual tone. “He talks about you a lot.”
“Like a lot,” Nico added.
Percy willed his face not to heat up. There was a wriggly feeling in his stomach. Discomfort, or pleasure – he didn’t know.
“And not a lot of it in the past few months has been about what you study,” Will continued.
“Unless what you’re studying is each other,” Nico contributed. Will elbowed him in the gut, probably harder than he had meant it; Nico huffed out a breath, doubling over a little bit. “Hey!”
Will turned a stern look on his boyfriend. “We had a plan.”
“Yeah, and it’s already worked, we can see it all over his face –” Nico gestured wildly at Percy.
Percy did not want to know what his face was saying.
“Intellect scouting, not interrogation!”
“I am much more experienced in scouting out information, Will, I know what I’m doing!”
“What information, exactly, are you trying to find?” Percy interrupted.
May as well get it upfront.
Will and Nico stared at him. He made sure to meet their gazes head on. After all, he didn’t have anything to hide. He and Apollo weren’t doing anything wrong. They were friends. Friends hung out. There was nothing that Will and Nico could accuse him of that would –
“Are you dating my dad?” Will asked bluntly.
“No!” Percy didn’t like how squeaky his voice sounded. He cleared his throat. “No,” he added firmer.
Will and Nico continued to stare.
“I’m not!”
Still staring.
“Dude, I’m serious, I’m not dating your dad!”
Will slumped into the seat like that wasn’t what he was wanting to hear. Nico rubbed at his shoulder comfortingly. Bewildered, Percy found that he was now the one staring at them.
“That’s even worse,” Will all but whined, throwing one of his hands up in defeat. “I was hoping that you had a relationship going so his …”
“Yearning,” Nico supplied.
Will clicked his fingers. “Yearning wouldn’t be as pitiful as it is. If you’d had a relationship going, he could maybe be forgiven for all the times we’ve had to suffer through listening to how determined you are to get your degree, and how much he admires you, and how the sun looks in your hair –”
Percy had no idea what to do with that information.
“He didn’t – we’re not – he doesn’t –”
“Oh no.” Nico placed a hand over his face. “They’re both yearning and don’t realize the other is.”
Percy was speechless. Were they?
***
They were friends. They were friends. Even if Apollo did want more, and even if Percy wanted more, nothing had happened so it clearly didn’t need to. Apollo obviously knew as well as Percy that it just wasn’t a good idea. Why waste a perfectly good friendship for a new tragic love story?
They were friends.
“We’re friends,” Percy blurted out in the middle of his kitchen like an absolutely idiot. “Right?”
Apollo was admiring his sunset through the window, but he turned at the sound of Percy’s voice with an arched brow. Gods, he really was beautiful, highlighted in his golden light.
“That was my impression of the last few months, yeah.” Apollo’s smile was blindingly bright, and Percy had to blink through the brain stutter. Then something shifted in Apollo’s expression, a kind of unease. He stepped away from the window and shuffled on his feet. “Unless … you don’t want to be?”
He was trying to keep the hurt out of his voice, but Percy heard it – he knew him too well at this point not to – and the longer the silence went on, the larger it loomed in Apollo’s blue eyes.
“No, it’s –” Percy swallowed. “We’re friends.”
There was intent in those words.
“We’re friends,” Apollo repeated slowly, watching him intensely now.
“And, like, it’s better to be friends, isn’t it? ‘Cause friendship is important,” Percy went on, aware that he was babbling and wishing he could stop. He looked down at the knife he was holding – he was making dinner – and realized his hand was shaking, ever-so-slightly. He put it down. Rested his palms flat on the countertop. “And I’ve got friends, and I’m sure you’ve got lots of friends, and –”
“No.”
“No?” Percy echoed, looking back up to find Apollo closer than before. “No what?”
“I don’t have lots of friends,” Apollo explained. His eyes didn’t leave Percy’s face. “Friendship is …” his head tilted from side to side, as though it was a scale unsure where to drop, “… complicated on Olympus. Gods are so ready to stab each other in the back for their own purposes. I am not excluding myself from that, but … when considering that, no, I don’t have a lot of friends, not like you.”
“As in, you don’t have friends like me, or you don’t have friendships like the friendships I have?”
Gods, Percy, shut up.
Apollo was leaning his hip against the counter now, only one short step between them. The sun came through the window behind him, casting a shadow on one side of his face but somehow highlighting his silhouette in a way that made Percy wondered if he was doing it deliberately.
“Both,” he answered quietly. He still had not looked away. There was a hint of gold in his eyes. “Though there could never be anyone else in the world like you, Percy Jackson.”
Percy’s mouth was dry. They stared at one another.
Beep beep. The microwave went off.
“Oh, shit!” Percy found himself scrambling backwards to open the microwave door. The timer was fucked, he had been intending to take it out at least twenty seconds before it beeped. “Shit, fuck!”
It was rice, it would be fine being overcooked for twenty seconds, but still!
“I’ve been doing so well,” he bemoaned, taking a spoon out of the cutlery drawer so he could test it. “I don’t even really need to follow recipes anymore. And I’d like to not be lying when I tell my mom I can feed myself just fine. I can feed myself just fine –” Percy pointed his spoon at Apollo. “Do not tell her about this. This isn’t even a big deal, this is, like, minor, but – I want her to be proud.”
Apollo’s face was soft. “She’s already so proud of you.” So was his voice.
Percy swallowed. He knew his mom was proud of him, but he wanted to be a competent adult in a way that neither of them would have ever guessed he would be – that he’d even get the chance to be.
Apollo plucked the spoon out of his hand and scooped a lump of rice into his mouth.
“Delicious,” he said around the mouthful.
Percy laughed. The tension from before was gone. He didn’t know if he was glad or disappointed.
**
Another bad night. He had been getting better, but healing wasn’t linear.
Percy paced his apartment, listening to the rain beat against the windows. It had been worse when he had woken up, gasping and drenched in sweat, but he had managed to rein the storm in. To spare New Rome, that was, not himself. His chest was tight and rattling with the desperation to be released.
He had to get out of here.
“Apollo,” he whispered before he had even given into the conscious thought to do so. “Can you –”
In his next blink, Apollo was there.
“Percy?” He looked and sounded concerned. One glance out the window seemed to heighten it. His mouth – gods, his beautiful mouth – pulled into a frown as he stepped closer. “Are you okay?”
“Can you …” Percy paused, not even knowing what he wanted to ask.
“Yes,” Apollo answered anyway.
“You don’t know what I was going to say.”
Apollo shrugged, but his stare was intense. “Either way, the answer is yes.”
Gods. The breath shuddered out of Percy. He brought his hands up to scrub at his face roughly.
“Can you take me away from here?”
He hated how small his voice sounded. He hated that he had to ask. He hated that he was weak.
Apollo didn’t question him. His hands, so warm, settled on Percy’s shoulders and pulled him close. It felt like a blanket had been wrapped around him. Percy thought he might not even need to take him away, as long as he kept holding him like that – but then his apartment was gone.
The island was beautiful. The sun was shining. The air was fresh.
Apollo let him go.
“No.” Percy grabbed onto him, and realized that he was shuddering. “No.”
Apollo halted. His arms wrapped around Percy again.
“Percy?” he whispered, so soft, his breath stirring the hair behind Percy’s ear.
Percy shivered. It ran all the way down his spine and through every limb. He couldn’t speak, couldn’t give an answer. All he knew was that he needed Apollo to hold him, to feel safe and warm enough to dispel the horrors and the bone-deep cold that he feared would never, ever leave him. He opened his mouth to try and explain but nothing was coming out. His jaw clenched shut, tight enough to hurt.
Hold me, he thought – prayed – and Apollo’s arms tightened.
“I’ve got you, I’ve got you,” Apollo murmured into his hair until Percy stopped shaking.
***
Percy was avoiding Apollo. Apollo might also be avoiding him because he hadn’t shown up.
After the other night, in which he had made an absolute fool of himself by near enough crying in Apollo’s arms on a beautiful exotic island, after begging him to hold him, and then apologizing profoundly once he’d regained himself and asked Apollo to take him home – there had been nothing. Not a single visit or word or action from the god as far as Percy could tell.
Clearly Apollo had realized what a fucked-up mess he was.
“Are you okay?”
Percy jumped, startled out of his thoughts, and then yelped when the solid hardback book he had been holding landed on his toe. Annabeth stifled a laugh, then didn’t bother when he glared at her. Still, there was concern etched into the lines of her face as her sharp eyes searched his. He avoided her gaze and bent to pick the book back up before shoving it into his backpack carelessly.
“Percy?”
Her voice was gentle, not prodding. He was grateful for it, he really was, for her concern and her respect for his boundaries. But Annabeth was the last person he wanted to talk to about this. They had come out of their break-up relatively unscratched – better, even, that he could have imagined – but she was still his ex. Obviously it was the best thing for them, to get some distance to heal without the pressure of healing each other. She was still his best friend. That would never change. He was certain of that now, and thankful that things hadn’t gone further and damaged that friendship as well.
On second thought, maybe she was the best person.
“I … might …” Percy stumbled through an explanation.
How could he explain this? He didn’t even know how he had gotten to this point.
“I … like someone,” he settled on cautiously, and watched the surprise flare up in Annabeth’s eyes.
“Oh?” Her tone was neutral.
Percy sighed, wishing he hadn’t opened his mouth. “We’re friends – me and this person – and I, um … I didn’t plan on taking it any further than that. But I’ve recently found out that they, um … might like me, and that some people thought we were in a relationship, and – apparently we’re yearning.”
“Yearning?”
“That was the word used, yeah. But … I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”
Annabeth was silent. He wondered what she was thinking. He didn’t even know what he would think if Annabeth came to him and confessed she was yearning for someone else.
“Do I know this person?” she asked finally.
Percy kind of grimaced. “Yeah. It’s not one of our friends though.”
Admitting it was a god – that it was Apollo – was out of the question. This was difficult enough.
Annabeth’s face went through a series of expression. Wondering how she knew this person if it wasn’t one of their mutual friends, probably, but she’d clearly picked up that he didn’t want to say.
“If you don’t want to ruin your friendship, then don’t,” she said after a long moment of consideration. “I’m glad we still have our friendship. But it doesn’t always work out like that. We’re lucky.” There was bitterness in the word. Percy couldn’t help but snort. “So … I think your priorities are up to you.”
Great. Right where he started.
“To be honest, it probably isn’t even worth debating anymore.” Percy sighed and ran a hand through his hair, shouldering his backpack better. “Something happened, and I haven’t seen them for days. So they’ve probably realized that I’m not even worth the effort anyway.”
Annabeth snorted, glancing at him with fondness. “Don’t be a seaweed brain. You’re aways worth the effort. And if they don’t know that, well, that’s their problem. They aren’t worthy of you.”
A small smile crept onto his lips. Annabeth smiled back.
***
Call it stubbornness, call it embarrassment, but Percy was not calling upon Apollo.
So it was probably for the best that Apollo decided six days no contact was the limit. It was the longest they had been apart in months. Percy didn’t know how he felt about that when he realized. Except now the god was lounging on his couch in his living room looking like he had never been gone.
“Uh, hi,” Percy said, dropping his backpack over the back of a chair.
Apollo grinned at him, all bright and shining and beautiful, and suddenly it was all Percy could think. He’d always known Apollo was beautiful. Of course he was. But now he was beautiful.
He stared, and stared, and Apollo stared back, and the grin dimmed.
Finally, Apollo cleared his throat and sat up. “Hi.”
The TV was on. A crowd was laughing. Percy didn’t look to see what show it was. Nothing felt funny right now. Something monumental was happening right here in his living room.
“About the other night –” Percy started.
“If I made you uncomfortable –” Apollo started.
Percy snorted. That was hilarious. “You? Make me uncomfortable? I was clinging to you!”
“You were upset and I –” Apollo pursed his lips. “I hope I didn’t cross any … boundaries.”
No, of course he didn’t. He did exactly what Percy had asked.
“If anyone was crossing boundaries, dude, it was me,” Percy insisted. He flung himself down onto the opposite couch, just to move, to do something. “And I’m sorry about that. I shouldn’t have called you.”
“I wanted you to call me,” Apollo told him earnestly. He was sitting at the edge of his couch, his eyes bright blue as they tracked over Percy’s face. “If you ever need me, call me. Please.”
Percy nodded and swallowed hard. Well.
“Well,” he said aloud. He ran his tongue over his teeth, like that would somehow bring the words.
What did he say now?
Apollo took a deep breath, abruptly breaking his gaze away to stare at the floor. “I hope I’m not – being too forward here, and if I am, please tell me to stop and everything will go back to the way it was, but I …” he trailed off with a hmm noise at the back of his throat, like he, too, was lost for words.
But Percy got the idea.
He stood up, and Apollo looked up. He stood over the god, staring down at him, taking in the blue eyes and the blond hair and the beautiful face – and how had he missed that, with how open Apollo’s features were as he blinked slowly, waiting for Percy’s next move. Percy reached out to touch his hair, letting his fingers sink into the soft strands. He didn’t pull it, not intentionally, it was just that Apollo tilted his head back a little and Percy’s fingers tightened, and the moan that escaped Apollo’s throat made them both freeze, caught up in each other’s gaze. Apollo’s eyes were threaded with gold.
Percy pulled his hair purposefully.
In an almost too quick motion, Apollo grabbed at his thighs and yanked him onto his lap, buckling Percy, who almost collapsed on top of him, except that his free hand caught and held onto Apollo’s shoulder. He was straddling him, almost eye-level, and then he was kissing him.
Apollo’s lips were warm, naturally, and soft. He didn’t hesitate to open them. Controlling the kiss, Percy’s hand sank deeper into Apollo’s hair, tightened, and the moans that spilled from him inspired Percy’s own. It was pure heat, everywhere, from Apollo’s mouth locked on his, from Apollo’s hands roaming all over him, from Apollo’s body pressed to his as they started to rock into each other.
“Bedroom,” Percy gasped, breaking away from the kiss, mouth sloppy on Apollo’s cheek.
Apollo hummed in response, but he made no move to get up, tugging Percy back in for another kiss when he attempted it. He shifted sideways, and Percy was suddenly on his back on the couch, Apollo looming over him. His eyes were pure gold. Percy stared into them, his breath coming too fast.
“You’re beautiful, you know that,” he whispered, which was stupid, because of course he did.
Apollo didn’t point that out. “Not as much as you,” he breathed, and kissed him again.
They never did make it to the bedroom that night.