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Wylan's favourite part of the day was the morning. For too many reasons to count. Not the chaos of the later morning, of getting the kids lunch and off to school, make sure that they had their homework and their bags and knew where they were going- because as much as he loved his kids, it was stressful as fuck. No, the earlier morning than that, when Wylan woke up and found Kaz stretched out beside him, usually on his back with his arms behind his head, like nothing else in the world mattered. He looked so peaceful like that, and he couldn't help but take the time to appreciate this more laid-back version of Kaz. He was one of the incredibly few that had seen it.
It got especially good when he started to stir, because as he was in every other part of his life, he did it the same every time. He'd stretch, his muscles would tense, and then he'd let out a long, content sigh. Turn over on his side to face Wylan, and his eyes would crack open slightly. He wouldn't smile, not that much, but his lips would tilt upward a little the moment that he saw Wylan, and he'd make a noise low in his throat and reach out an arm to wrap around Wylan and tug him closer. Whispered something unintelligible but definitely sweet in his ear, kiss the top of his head, and then close his eyes again. From there, sometimes it would go differently, depending on a few things. The time of day that they woke up, how either of them felt, what day it was- which was largely then dependent on if they needed to sort out the kids.
Today, though, they had nothing to do. Wylan reckoned that it was pretty late in the morning for them, probably coming up to 10am, and they had nothing to do for hours. Hours. Julian had gone around to a friends the night before and stayed over, and Marie had then decided that she wanted to go and see Nina and Matthias, who had been more than happy to take her, and it would be late afternoon that they had to pick either of them up. So they had the whole morning and most of the afternoon to themselves.
It'd been fucking ages since that happened. It'd been so long since he had the chance to properly appreciate Kaz in the mornings, been too long since he'd had the chance to properly appreciate Kaz at all. Not in the way that he always wanted to. So this time when Kaz pulled him closer, Wylan peppered kisses over his collarbone. He didn't know why, but he'd always thought Kaz would be one of those people who slept in short and a shirt and didn't take any of it off unless it was unbelievably hot and he was forced unless he wanted to melt. But he'd been pleasantly surprised when Kaz had walked into their room the first time shirtless with a pair of loose-hanging checked trousers. He'd walked in without a care in the world, like he didn't realise just how flushed Wylan had got watching him, because fuck. He was the most attractive man in the world. Especially when his hair was in his face from the day, hanging in perfect strands over those dark, dark eyes, and- it hadn't gotten any less hot since.
Kaz's hands were dragging up and down his spine and he'd moved onto the next phase. "You're so, so, beautiful," He whispered, his voice more raspy than usual from just having woken up, slowed down from the same sleep that kept his eyes half-lidded. "I love you so much. I love you so, so, much. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me." He kissed the top of his head lightly, and then nuzzled him. Kept whispering, but too quiet for Wylan to make out, this time. He pulled back after a moment, and his half-asleep face was in front of Wylan's, "What do you want to do with today, then?"
"You." Wylan responded immediately, and Kaz raised his eyebrows a little. "I didn't mean that in an inherently dirty way." He rolled his eyes, because Kaz's mind was perpetually in the gutter, "I just meant that I wanted to spend today being with you. Appreciating you." He dipped his head a little and licked lightly at his neck, "Though, if you wanted to, uh... then I wouldn't be the one stopping you." He whispered softly, and pressed a light kiss there while Kaz laughed lightly under his breath, tightening his arm around the shorter man to pull him closer. "But I did mainly mean that- that, you know. I have the day with you to myself for the first time since I can remember, and so I think that if I spend any time today physically apart from you then I might actually combust."
"I'm with you on that one." Kaz agreed, speaking as he breathed out a sigh of air. One of his hands lingered at the top of Wylan's spine, where his Dregs tattoo was, and drew light circled there before dipping slightly, down the small of his back, and then resting one of his palms flat against his lower back. "Fuck, baby, I wanna spend the rest of my life with you, not just today." Wylan was beyond happy at that, smiling into his skin for a moment, for more reasons than he could count. He was always softer in the morning, more loving, more inclined to give Wylan gentle touches and sweet words. That made him happy. The way that he called him baby only when they were alone, only if he was feeling one of two ways, made him feel so insanely special. That made him happy. The way that Kaz Brekker, the man that he was so wildly in love with he'd happily give him anything he asked for, insinuated that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Wylan? That made him so happy.
Three reasons, then, he supposed. Three reasons that Kaz made him so intensely happy. Of the many. "I love you." Was all he could reply, mumbled from nuzzling his head further into Kaz while he got hugged tighter. "How about we start off with some pancakes?" He whispered quietly, resting his hands against Kaz's chest and closing his eyes for a second or two while Kaz hummed and nodded, brushing his lips over the top of his head.
"Yes. Yeah. Okay. I'll make you some. Have you got something for toppings? I mean we could eat them plain, but... I'm not very inclined to." Kaz whispered back to him. Wylan only raised his eyebrows, because he was a creature of habit and bought the same things over and over again. So the answer was completely, yes. Of course he did. "Was that a stupid question?" He added softly, and then let out a long breath. Nodded his head. "Okay. I know what you'll have, then. Sorry, the sleep must be burring my mind from knowing just how much you like to do the same thing over and over."
"I'll help." Wylan whispered, "I feel bad that you do the cooking all the time. You know that I can actually cook, right? I cooked all the time when I was with Jesper, I kind of don't know how you've become the house cook. I do actively feel bad about it." After a long groan from Kaz, he was flipped onto his back and Kaz was braced over him, staring down at him with a tilt in his head.
"For the record," Kaz said softly, "I cook because I enjoy it. Because you do so much for this house and the kids that giving you that little bit of time to relax while I do something that I enjoy is the least I can do. You're more than welcome to help if you want to. But I do enjoy it. I don't do anything that I don't want to do. Unless maybe- maybe- you really want me to do it." He murmured, and Wylan supposed that it worked out really well anyway, because if he was being honest with himself then he really hated cooking. He just saw it as a necessity. "Now shut up and let me kiss you before you start questioning other things you should know irrefutably about me."
"You think I wouldn't do so happily?" He whispered back to him, setting his palms on either side of Kaz's face and staring at him for a moment before tugging him closer. Kissing Kaz was like some kind of drug that he'd been deprived of for years, because as with everything else he did, he'd perfected it. He was pretty sure that he could kiss Kaz quite happily for the rest of his life. Everything about him was perfection, but this, in particular, was something that he would never appreciate any less. Wylan slid one of his hands down to rest against his chest, letting out a content breath. He pulled back for a moment while the dark-haired man kept staring at them with his sleepy eyes, but he slowly seemed to be getting more and more awake. "You know what I love?"
"Me?" Kaz replied lazily with a soft laugh, moving to lay down next to Wylan on his back, staring up at the ceiling for a moment. "No, go on. What do you love?"
"I don't know if it's selfish, but I love that I get this part of you all to myself." Wylan said quietly, twisting so he was on his side, his head propped up on his hand and looking down at Kaz. "That everyone else gets Kaz Brekker, Dirtyhands, and I have the very same man complacent in my bed and looking at me like I'm the most important thing in the world. So, yes, I love you. I love every little bit of you. But I really, really, love this part of you. The mellowed-out version."
"You're telling me that you don't think I'm unbearably hot while I'm stalking around brooding?" Kaz challenged, raising his eyebrows, "Because I'm ninety percent certain that you give me that look every time after I snap too quickly back at someone."
Wylan was rolling his eyes, again, and shook his head. "Yes, of course I do, but I think that you look unbearably hot all the time, Kaz. Let's not get that bit mixed up. But everyone gets to see annoyed you, I like that I get mellowed-out sleepy Kaz all to myself. Like I say, I think that it might be selfish, but it's very true. I'm one of the very, very few people that has gotten to see you like this. I'm the only person you've ever been on a date with. I'm the only person you've done a lot of things with, and that's just- it's nice. That even if you or I do something really stupid and we don't end up alright, that I'll always have those little bits of you to know and to cherish."
Kaz seemed to consider that one for a minute, turning his eyes back away from him and staring up at the ceiling. He was starting to look more awake, more functioning, more like the Kaz that operated in the every day world. "I don't get that with you, though." He said softly. "You've done all of this before. With Jesper. And don't get me wrong, I don't begrudge you that, not at all. You've been married before, you've had kids with this man, I know all of this, I know that these bits of you belonged with him long before they belonged to me, but... I can't help but feel like sometimes, I would like to be able to say that I am one of your firsts." He turned his head to look back at him, his hair falling into his face, and Wylan couldn't help but admire the way that it did so before he gelled it back in the mornings. He preferred it like this.
Carefully, he considered what he'd been told. It made sense. He probably could have clocked that doing so would make Kaz feel like this sooner, but he was glad, most of all, that he was properly sharing his feelings. "You are." Was the only thing that he could come up with. It was genuine. "You are some of my firsts. I've done a lot of things with you that I didn't do with Jesper. Maybe he woke up with me, and lived with me, and married me- but- we are so different to what Jesper and I were. Even before you and I were this, you were my firsts." He reached for Kaz's hands and entwined their fingers. "You are the first person to look at me and think that I might have potential to be something, someone else. That was better. You were genuinely the first person I felt safe with. I didn't like you, but I felt safe with you. You were the first person that I took any firsts from. First person to take me to the tower. First person I have ever loved the way that I love you. I could go on."
While he turned it over in his head, Kaz's thumb was rubbing over Wylan's hand, and after a moment, he brought it up to his lips. Pressed a kiss there. "When you put it like that." He turned his head again to look at him and nodded slightly. "Thank you. I think it can be easy to forget those things in the face of the biggest things." There was a short, comfortable silence between them, before he spoke again, "And you were wrong. I've never done this with anyone but you. Shared a bed and woken up next to."
"Really?" He asked, somewhat shocked, and raised his eyebrows. "I assumed that you and Inej had shared a bed and slept next to each other at some point in your life, or maybe just- someone else."
Kaz shook his head slightly. "As much as I liked Inej, I couldn't stomach sharing a bed with her. The idea of that much potential physical touch, especially when I'm you know, unconscious- I couldn't do it. She didn't quieten the roaring. She didn't make it louder, either, and I think that I could have gotten better with it with time, but... no one has made me feel more calm when I am touching them but you. So, no, I have never shared a bed with and woken up next to someone the way I have with you."
"I don't think you can fully comprehend just how happy it makes me to know that you feel like that to me." Wylan dropped his head a little. He didn't even care about the pancakes anymore; he would gladly ignore the slight complain of his stomach to stay in this moment with him for as long as he possibly could. He rested his head against Kaz's chest, stretching out over him, and let out a long sigh. "How are you getting with touching other people?" He asked. As much as he felt like Kaz's gloves were an integral part of his image, just as his cane was, he didn't like the idea of him suffering with this for the rest of his life.
"It's getting better." He murmured, ghosting his hand up and down Wylan's back again, pausing at his lower back to kneed small circles into his skin. "As slow as you can imagine that it would. But with people like- Nina and Inej, the more casual touch is starting to feel like less of a challenge. I would add Matthias, but I think that he still thinks he might become possessed if he came into contact with me. I'm getting a lot better with Nina, and I think it's because she does it so casually. And all the time. Like she's happy, she wants to hug you. She's annoyed, she wants to jab you. It's just part of Nina- so it's starting to become less... anxiety-inducing for me. I don't think that I'll ever get to know someone that bypassed everything as easily as you did, though."
"Well, that was just pure skill. I knew you for so long beforehand that it was like- like, I think that it was easy enough to read you. To know when I was pushing the limits of what you wanted, what you're comfortable with. But you were always very receptive for me, and so, it was a joint effort." Wylan shrugged his shoulders a little, "And there's, you know, still things that you're not okay with. Maybe you don't notice it, but I do. Sometimes you just tense up, sometimes you relax, sometimes you're just neutral- so I've kind of mapped you. Where you don't like it, where you do. What bits depend on what kind of mood you're in. If you're upset, then you like being held, but if you're angry, then you like your space to cool off." He didn't even really notice that he clocked these things about Kaz most of the time, but he did. "And I'm always proud of you for every step you take to getting better with it. Anyway." He turned and stretched out, yawning a little, "Pancakes now?"
"Pancakes now." Kaz agreed, loosened a sigh, and twisted to kiss Wylan's forehead before rolling over and out of the bed. He didn't really know why he'd mentioned it because he wanted to stay in bed with Kaz, but he supposed that he had to get up and do something at some point, so he might as well do this. He got out of bed with Kaz, gave another stretch and let out a long sigh before picking up one of Kaz's t-shirts from the back of a chair and tugging it on. Kaz didn't even bother with doing that, padding out of the room and down the stairs.
Kaz's clothes were always big on him, his shoulders broader, more filled out with muscle. He was taller. Wylan was basically swamped in his clothes, but it was a nice feeling, and he knew that Kaz liked it as well. It wasn't something he vocalised, but he always held him a little closer when he was. Pancakes. He sighed, rubbed his hands through his hair to try and make it resemble what it usually did, and then followed his boyfriend down the stairs. He made some killer pancakes, as he did with everything else that he cooked or baked, and as he thought, his partner was already mixing up the batter for the pancakes. "I'll get the pan and stuff," Wylan murmured, kissing his cheek as he went by and then searched through his cupboards for a pan, and then plates for the both.
"If you want to get the toppings out, then you might as well do so now." Kaz murmured as he poured the first into the sizzling pan, grabbing a spatula to prod at it slightly, "I didn't bother to put chocolate chips in the batter because I didn't want to. If you want, you can always melt some chocolate and pour it on top." He glanced behind him to look at Wylan, who was digging through the fridge, "I know how much of a sweet tooth you have, so."
"You're so good to me." He laughed softly, and piled some of the toppings on the side and then lifted himself to sitting on the counter and watching Kaz as he worked. He would have offered to help, but he already knew that the answer would be no. Kaz only hummed in response, his eyes fixed on the pan in front of him, and he flipped the second pancake and let it sit for a moment. "Have you perfected the flip yet?" He asked, tilting his head a little, and as if in response, he lifted the pan and flicked his wrist slightly so the pancake flipped with it and then landed once again. "I'll take that as a yes."
"Can you think of something that I haven't perfected, baby?" He murmured, and slid the pancake off the pan and onto the plate. He paused for a minute and turned off the stove, walking over to Wylan and standing between his legs, sliding his hands against his thighs and looking up at him for a long moment. "You look really cute in my clothes." He said quietly, brushing his lips against his jaw. "Have I told you that before?" He slid his hands to resting against Wylan's hips instead. "I love you."
"I love you, too." Wylan's eyes closed in contentment, his hands sliding over Kaz's shoulders, just letting himself feel him. Be in the moment with him. "More than anything else."
"I'd kill someone in the heartbeat that they tried to hurt you."
That, at least, drew a short laugh from him as he opened his eyes again, "I love how what you think about while we're being nice is that you'd kill people for me." Kaz gave a shrug, like Wylan should have expected it, and he supposed that he indeed should have. But still. He thought for a moment. "But... you know, same."