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When he had first started travelling with Kazuha, Tomo had the impression that the younger man was good at taking care of himself. On the first glance it certainly seemed like that. Though Kazuha was a wanderer, traveling from town to town, sleeping in barns or simply on the grass, washing his hair in small streams they found along the way, he somehow always managed to look put together. His hands had gotten more rough over time and his hair had grown longer, but still, they were never plastered with bandages due to stinging himself on a bush full of thorns, and his hair always stayed neatly in a ponytail.
His appearance made it seem like he was good at looking out for himself and taking care of his body. But now, Tomo couldn’t help but wonder if he had been wrong. Because maybe Kazuha wasn’t good at taking care of himself, but rather at pretending to do so.
They had travelled together for a few months now, finding a path over Inazuma’s many, many islands. After accidently taking on the same commission once, they had found that they worked quite well together and decided, that travelling together might be easier than doing so alone. (Tomo didn’t ever want to travel alone again, if he was honest.) Kazuha had taken some time to open up. Tomo remembered how he had always been careful with his words, telling only what was needed to keep the conversation between them going, but nothing more. Different from Tomo, who would like to tell his new friend everything that had ever happened in his life. He didn’t have many secrets, so why not share his life with the world.
Only after they went to sleep one almost fateful night, Tomo staying up later to keep the fire running, he had started opening up.
After Tomo had also decided to make his way to bed, he had found Kazuha shivering and shaking in their shared tent. Not from the cold, summer had just awoken and gifted new life and warmth to nature, but from a nightmare, which left him gasping and tearing up in agony after a worried Tomo woke him. Only later Tomo had found out what Kazuha had been dreaming about, but it really wasn’t important. What was important was to wipe the smaller’s tears away, and so Tomo had wrapped his arms around him tightly, gathering him in his hold. Kazuha had grabbed onto his coat and buried his face in the cloth, his quietened sobs reaching Tomo’s ears.
They had spent the rest of night like this, Kazuha tightly attached to him, even after he had fallen asleep, and Tomo himself wrapped around the slender body softly breathing next to him. His coat had been stained with tears the next morning and Kazuha had apologised profusely for it, even offering to wash it for him. Tomo had tried to assure him that it was fine, that he didn’t really care, but Kazuha had been quicker and washed it anyway.
Apart from this, they didn’t talk much the day after. Kazuha seemed to be embarrassed, choosing to sit just a little further away as they were sharing breakfast. A slight blush had coated his cheeks, Tomo remembered it vividly.
But after that day, he had been more open about himself. When they went to sleep, normally with quite some space in between, he’s slide a little closer. When they sat by the fire, cooking and talking, he’d laugh a little louder. When they were walking another path, admiring nature on their way, he’d go next to Tomo instead of behind him.
Tomo loved every moment he spent with Kazuha.
Though, however, he might’ve been a little naïve to think that Kazuha would be just like himself and say when he wasn’t feeling well or was in pain. He had noticed before that he tried to hide his sobs when waking up from another nightmare, and didn’t ask if they could put more wood on the fire if it was a little colder than what he liked.
But it had never been anything as big as this.
The wound was on his thigh, and though it wasn’t particularly big, Tomo couldn’t understand how Kazuha walked around with it the last few days. It probably didn’t look that bad until now that it was infected, but it must’ve hurt terribly. At least three days Kazuha had been in pain and didn’t say anything – it hurt Tomo a bit, if he was honest. He saw himself as someone Kazuha could trust.
Though Kazuha didn’t say, Tomo had a vague idea where he got it from. A few days ago, they ran into a few Kairagi, and while they were both skilled fighters, it wasn`t uncommon to carry a wound after leaving a battle.
Now, they ended up like this: Kazuha laying on their shared futon, his head in Tomo’s lap. He was sweaty, hair sticking to his forehead in strands, and he was blinking up at Tomo with a clouded look in his eyes. It was the first time Tomo had seen Kazuha like this, so close to falling apart from his normally tight pulled strings. It was the first time he really, really realised how utterly bad Kazuha was at seeing himself as a priority, as a person with needs, as person who’s well being was important. While he might be good at keeping himself tidy and clean, his emotions, his needs were neglected.
“You’re burning up, Kazuha”, Tomo said, voice soft and quiet. He couldn’t tell if it was because he was so distressed by the sight in front of him, the sight of Kazuha feeling bad, or if not to startle his friend out of his almost-sleep, tired due to the fever. Tomo placed his hand on Kazuha’s forehead, carefully feeling his temperature. While Kazuha’s touch was normally light and cold, often seeking closeness and warmth in the freezing nights, today he felt like he was on fire. Still, he was shivering in Tomo’s hold.
“I’m sorry”, Kazuha mumbled, voice a bit slurry, as if he couldn’t really notice himself talking.
Tomo sighed, carefully running his fingers through the smaller’s hair. “It’s alright, Kazuha, there’s nothing to be sorry about.” They’d talk about how Kazuha needed to tell when something was wrong, specifically when he was hurt, later. “I’ll take care of you.”
“No need for that”, somehow, Kazuha seemed to find the strength to sit back up straight. “It’s really not that bad. Let me just sleep for a few hours, and then it’ll be okay, and we can continue our journey-” He was interrupted by his own coughing fit, the cough shaking through his normally strong body. Tomo huddled closer, helping Kazuha to lean back against his arm in an attempt to keep him from overexerting himself. Still, Kazuha pulled the blankets closer around himself. Tomo swallowed at the sight. Kazuha looked so small, so vulnerable, so hurt wrapped up in his blanket, with eyes blurry and cheeks red from the fever, while the cough’s rattled through his body, and Tomo could do nothing but pat him on his back, softly, trying to bring a comforting gesture. He couldn’t stand seeing him like this, and everything else would have to wait until Kazuha was fine again. Kazuha was his first priority.
“Kazuha, please, stop arguing. Your wound is infected, you have a fever, and you will get a cold soon with the wind out here and you weakened body. It is that bad”, at his words, Kazuha looked to ground, almost shamefully, as another cough shook through him. Tomo gathered the soft figure in his arms, carefully wrapping the blanket around him in a way which left only his injured leg in the open. “I’ll bandage your wound now, and then I’ll gather our stuff and bring us back to the barn we stayed in last night, I believe it’s decently warm there. We’ll try to lower your fever and do our best to stop the infection, and then you will feel better, okay?”
Kazuha nodded softly, seeming to have given up to argue, his eyes looking strained trying to stay open. Tomo smiled at him, opening his back, trying to find some ointment for the wound which they bought in the last town they had made their way through. “Just in case”, Tomo had said as he saw the merchant selling them for sale. Now he was glad about his purchase.
“I will be careful, yeah? Tell me if anything hurts”, Tomo said, pulling out the package and a pair of bandages. Kazuha nodded again.
He did his best not to touch the red wound while rolling up Kazuha’s shorts to see everything. His gaze was fixed on Kazuha, trying to find any change in expression, scared that other wouldn’t tell if anything was wrong. Kazuha’s gaze instead was fixed onto his fingers, not looking up even once.
He opened the package and started carefully spreading the ointment on Kazuha’s wound. Despite seemingly trying his best not to, Kazuha flinched at every touch on his leg, and Tomo could just barely make out the tears gathering in the corner of his eyes. Oh, how he hated seeing him like this. “It’s okay if it hurts, Kazuha. If you want to cry, I’ll hold you.”
And then Kazuha did look up to him, and Tomo couldn’t help worry filling himself up. “I don’t want to cry, Tomo”, he whispered, but there already was a tear rolling down his cheeks.
So, Tomo pulled the smaller closer, careful not to move his leg, and buried his nose in the other’s hair, giving him a soft kiss on the forehead. “I’ll hold you either way.”
Kazuha sank into his arms, his small frame moulding against Tomo. The taller continued spreading the ointment on the wound, one hand holding Kazuha tightly, caressing his back when he went to hide his face in Tomo’s cloak in pain. He looked out of it, and he was far more touchy and clingy than normally, probably due to the fever. Tomo didn’t mind, while he didn’t like the fact that Kazuha was sick, he was definitely not going to say no to keeping him in his hold.
Finished with his work, he wrapped fresh bandages around the wound, before helping Kazuha pull up his tights and shorts. Kazuha looked up to him, face red from the heat of the fever and eyes puffy from crying. Tomo wanted to hug him, make him feel better, and never let him get hurt like this again.
“I’ll go and pack our stuff now, okay?”, Tomo said, only letting go of Kazuha reluctantly. The smaller nodded, pulling the blanket, which had fallen down while Tomo had bandaged his leg, close around him.
Tomo smiled, hand softly stroking through Kazuha’s hair, before he stood up and started gathering everything. It wasn’t much, they were wanderers after all, and he only needed a backpack for all their things. Only the blanket wrapped around Kazuha was left, which he had decided to let him keep for the way, as the wind on the cliffs they had pulled up their tent at had gotten quite strong now, and he didn’t want Kazuha to catch a cold alongside fever and infection. With the coughs shaking through him every now and then, he had to be careful to not let it get worse.
“Kazuha? Hey, Kazuha”, Tomo spoke, voice low, to the sleepy looking man in the blanket bundle. “I’ve got everything. I’ll lift you up now, and then I’ll carry you back to the barn, and then you can sleep there.”
The only answer he got was a tired nod, the words which were about to leave Kazuha’s mouth instead turned into another coughing fit. Tomo lifted the smaller up, he wasn’t particularly heavy. While Kazuha could win most of their playful fights through speed and coordinated attacks, in sheer strength, Tomo easily overpowered him.
He held Kazuha close to his chest, rubbing comforting circles on his back while picking at the blanket until it kept Kazuha warm to his satisfaction. Maybe he could make a warm water bottle later, for Kazuha to keep on his chest, maybe it would help the coughing once again shaking him up.
The barn wasn’t very far away, and the path wasn’t particularly difficult, but it still took Tomo a while to walk with a sick samurai holding onto his neck and after a while a really, rather heavy backpack on his shoulders. He was glad when he saw the structure between bushes and trees, by now needing some rest himself.
Kazuha first, he reminded himself, remembering the quiet, pained whimpers the man in grasp had let out when there was a particularly heavy coughing fit shaking through him or when Tomo shook him to much while walking.
He pressed open the door with one shoulder, welcoming the warmth and calm inside. He sat Kazuha down in the straw scattered all over the ground, before finally getting rid of the heavy backpack. “Sorry”, he heard Kazuha say, “You shouldn’t have had to carry me all the way here. You’ll hurt your back.”
Tomo sat down next to him, the straw comfortable under him. “There’s no need to say sorry for this, Kazuha. I decided to carry you so you wouldn’t have to strain your wound anymore, and go here, so you wouldn’t catch a cold with your fever.” He held his hand against Kazuha’s forehead, testing again for his temperature. He didn’t notice any change. “It was my decision to help you, because you’re my friend and you’re important to me. Very important. I don’t know what I’d do without you sometimes.”
At those words, a blush coated Kazuha’s cheeks. “But-“ At him seemingly still not giving up, Tomo pulled out his last triumph card.
“You would’ve done the same for me, right? So you deserve the same treatment.” He knew Kazuha would, he knew Kazuha would help anyone he found on his way. Because Kazuha was a good person, a wonderful person, with an even more wonderful heart. (Oh, how he couldn’t help but love Kazuha. He really, really wouldn’t know what to do if it wasn’t for him. How had he ever spent his days without Kazuha?)
Kazuha nodded, before he broke down in tears. For a moment, it was as if Tomo was frozen in movement, shocked by the recent development, before he gathered himself and wrapped Kazuha in his arms again, gathering the smaller in his lap once more and throwing the blanket over them. “Thank you so much, Tomo. I don’t know what I’d do without you either. And I’m sorry for not telling you about my wound, that was irresponsible and dumb from me, because now it ended like this and it’s my fault because I thought it’d be to big of a burden if you knew-“ He was crying, rambling into Tomo’s shoulder, coughing in between his words.
“It’s okay, Kazuha”, Tomo tried to reassure him. “You’ve understood your mistake, but you don’t need to beat yourself up over it. And you’re definitely not a burden, you could never be. The next time, when one of us gets hurt, we’ll tell the other, okay? And then we can learn to take care of each other.”
“Yes”, he felt Kazuha’s hot breath on his neck more than he heard the word, but he understood, and most importantly, Kazuha had understood. And maybe it’d take a while for them to learn, but that was okay, too. Tomo could do and learn everything as long as it was for Kazuha.
“Let’s just go to sleep now. You can sleep your fever off, and then you’ll be feeling better again.”
“And you?”, tired eyes blinked up at him.
“I’ll hold you and take a nap, too”, Tomo answered. Kazuha nodded, seemingly contend, cuddling even closer to Tomo, if that was possible, as if he wasn’t already laying on top of him.
As long as they were both each other’s first priority, they were sure, everything would work out well.