Chapter Text
The end of the world was quick and began like any normal day.
It started with breakfast and Shelby’s diet of fruit and egg whites, a staple when she was in the midst of a pageant circuit. And it ended with her hand gripping a kitchen knife, five inches deep in her father’s neck. His blood spilled onto her fingers as he clawed at her shoulders, before going limp and falling to the tiled floor at her feet.
Her mom and two siblings were up north visiting her grandparents for a few days, Shelby staying home in Redmond to tend to pageantry commitments. Her daddy had stayed too. He’d said it was for work, but Shelby knew it was to keep an eye on her. That, due to recent events, he didn’t trust her to be left alone. Trust her to not stray from the path, as he would have so eloquently put it.
And maybe that was a good thing – her family not being home when it happened. Her mother not having to watch as her eldest killed someone, killed her husband — if that was even who he was anymore. It was easier to think of him as no longer there, that he was just a shell, a monster. But everything changed that day – the moment the knife pierced his skin.
Or maybe it was before that, when Shelby pulled the knife from the woodblock on the kitchen bench, or when she heard the inhuman sounds emanating from his throat, Dave looking at her with feral and soulless eyes. Or maybe it was the rumbling of the bombs hitting Houston in the distance, lighting up the night sky like fireworks.
Soldiers soon flooded the streets, evacuated entire neighborhoods, and enforced Martial Law in Quarantine Zones across the country. The fall of society was quick, and Shelby never saw her family again, never knew their fate or if they made it to safety. She could only hope they’d been evacuated to the Dallas QZ, or maybe even Forth Worth.
It had been over four years since that night and Shelby could still hear it, the distant rumbling, the ear piercing screech as she grabbed for the knife. She could still see the vivid image of her dad sprinting at her from across the living room. It probably didn’t help that she still lived in her childhood home, that she’d returned to it after nearly a year at the Beaumont QZ to find his body gone – most likely dragged away and burned by the military like the rest of the infected.
But Shelby couldn’t leave, couldn’t bring herself to move. It was her mom’s house too, it was Mel’s and Spencer’s, and if they ever came back, if they ever came looking for her, this was where they would come first. It was that notion that had made Shelby’s decision to leave the QZ, leaving the illusion of safety created by FEDRA and returning to where it all started — even at 18 years old she’d taken her chances with the infected over torture that was just charading as order.
In some twisted way, Shelby should probably have thanked Dave Goodkind. For unknowingly preparing her for the fall of society. For teaching her to fend for herself and to survive off the grid with their family hunting trips. It was the only useful thing he instilled in her. But that thanks went completely out the window when coupled with the fear and the shame he had left her to deal with too — ingraining in her the belief that what her heart desired was wrong and unnatural.
That was something Shelby would never forgive him for.
When Shelby had first returned to Redmond, parts of the surrounding area had already been ransacked by raiders, homes upended and picked apart. But it was crazy what Texans had hidden away in closets and deep in drawers and locked up in their garages. What started as her fortifying her own house, became a whole street and then eventually a whole block. She made trades when she had to, kept contacts from the year she’d spent behind FEDRA walls, and made new connections through those until she had constructed a close network of a trusted few — if trust was even a thing she could afford to have anymore in this new world.
“I could probably swing it next week.”
The voice came through the radio cracked and broken, Shelby sighing a little before holding down the receiver. “I guess that’ll have to do then.”
Just as Shelby’s thumb eased off the button, Addie’s head lifted suddenly from her lap, ears pricking up as she began to whine.
Shelby scratched at the Border Collie’s neck. “What is it, girl?”
But before Shelby could settle her, Addie took off out of the room in a blur of black and white, barking as she went, Shelby hearing her duck through the flap at the front door.
“Christ,” Shelby muttered, picking up the radio again. “I have to go.”
She didn’t wait for a response before hooking the mouthpiece onto the holder and standing from her desk. The varnished wood was covered in stray papers, and the wall behind her was covered in a large map of Texas and beyond, marked with pins and notes she’d gathered over the years — information on comings and goings and supply routes. And which QZs were still standing in the wake of increased resistance against military presence in the major cities.
In hindsight, it was probably a good thing she got out when she did.
Shelby picked up her hunting rifle that was resting by the office door and shouldered it, before hurrying after Addie. It was noon, the sun just starting to crest above her through the clouds as she wandered into the street.
“Addie?” Shelby called, her boots crunching over the fall leaves scattered across the asphalt. “Adeline?”
She’d been her family’s dog before the outbreak, not even two years old when the cordyceps started to spread throughout the community. Addie had taken off that night, not long after Dave had been infected and Shelby had been forced to put him down in their kitchen. Shelby was honestly surprised to see her old dog early one morning a few weeks after she’d returned, skinnier and in desperate need of a bath but still very much her Addie.
It didn’t take Shelby long to find her growling by one of the perimeter fences that surrounded the block she’d reclaimed. Shelby, over time, had dug and set various traps and deterrents outside the high steel fence. But it had been close to six months since anything besides an errant runner had wandered close enough to set one off.
As she approached, she could hear a distinct human groan coming from the pit a few yards beyond the fence line.
“Shit,” Shelby sighed, as she unlocked the gate and proceeded through. She turned back, closing it securely behind her. “Stay.”
Addie huffed but did as she was told, sitting obediently by the gate.
Shelby kept her rifle readied, her eyes scanning the area for any and all movement. She regularly made sweeps, but Shelby knew better than to assume it was clear, even with the CCTV she had mounted in various spots within the perimeter.
“Are you armed?” Shelby’s gaze was still on the tree line. The closer she got, the clearer the groans became — whoever it was sounded young.
It was silent for a few seconds.
“I should probably lie,” a voice replied. “But no, not armed.”
Shelby was shocked to hear a girl's voice. She took one step closer so she could see down into the hole, leading with the barrel of her rifle and training it on the stranger as she came into view.
She was probably only a year or so younger than Shelby, early twenties at most.
Dark brown hair was pulled into a ponytail that was falling from its band. Thin tendrils were sticking to her skin from a cut bleeding on her forehead, a stream of red running steadily down her temple and jaw – the rigid netting of the trap must have caught her head on the way down.
“You alone?” Shelby asked plainly.
“Yeah.”
Her hands were raised in surrender, but she didn’t hesitate to answer.
“Why are you out here?” she questioned further.
“Was just trying to get to the Beaumont QZ when I stumbled upon this lovely hole.”
“Why?”
“I didn’t really have a choice, kinda just stepped on it,” she retorted, Shelby hearing the sarcasm in her tone.
Shelby huffed, “Why are you tryna get to Beaumont?”
“My QZ fell,” she provided. “It’s all gone. Heard Beaumont might still be there.”
“Which QZ?”
The stranger’s brow pinched. “Why does it matter?”
“Answer the question,” Shelby snapped.
“Houston.”
Shelby mulled over the information. She luckily didn’t have any contacts there, doing most of her business to the east and across the border into Louisiana. But she made a mental note to mark it down.
“I’m Toni, by the way,” she murmured, hands still raised, like knowing that small piece of info would make Shelby trust her or lower her rifle.
Shelby just looked at her, her stance unchanged. “Beaumont’s no good, might be worth trying Baton Rouge or even Alexandria further north.”
“Shit.” Toni put her hands down, her shoulders sagging. “Fucking great.”
She hung her head, Shelby now seeing how bad the cut really was, blood dripping to the loose dirt below her feet.
“You good?“ Shelby muttered, nodding at her head.
“Peachy,” Toni deadpanned. “Besides the whole bleeding profusely thing.”
“You have anything for it?”
“Sorry, I left my Spidey Band-Aids in my other jacket.”
Shelby rolled her eyes. “That’s gonna get infected,” she commented. “The regular kind, not the apocalypse kind. Probably gonna need stitches too.”
Toni continued to just stare up at her, her hands resting on her hips and her jaw set.
Sighing, Shelby turned on her heel to grab a ladder. She knew this was a bad idea. If she had any sense, she would just shoot her. Worst case, Toni attacked her as soon as she was let out. Best case, she told everyone she met where Shelby was. Either way, it was a mistake, and one Shelby was chastising herself for being stupid enough to make.
She carried the ladder back to the pit, sliding it down and switching to the handgun she kept at her thigh.
“Come on,” Shelby instructed with a flick of the gun, indicating for Toni to climb up.
Toni cautiously approached the ladder, taking it a rung at a time until she neared the top.
“Stop there,” Shelby said, taking a step closer and palming the device at her hip. She pressed it to Toni’s neck, keeping a watchful eye on her as it beeped.
“Where’d you get that?” Toni asked, her eyes widening in surprise.
Shelby ignored the question, watching as the small square lit up green.
Negative.
A part of Shelby wished it wasn’t, her survival instincts hoping to see red — it wouldn’t be the first time Shelby had to pull the trigger on someone. And in a lot of ways, that would’ve been easier, safer. But this was a first for her – letting someone, quite literally, past her walls.
Shelby tightened her grip on her sidearm and stepped back so Toni could pull herself up the rest of the way. “Don’t make me regret this.”
“Have you done this before?”
“You sure do ask a lot of questions,” Shelby said in lieu of answering, concentrating instead on her own hands.
Toni was sitting at the kitchen bench, Shelby standing next to her with a needle and thread pinched between her fingertips. She’d already cleaned the sizeable gash just above Toni’s left brow and was two stitches in to closing it up.
“I could say the same,” Toni replied, lifting her chin slightly.
“It’s my house, I get to ask.”
Truth be told, even though Shelby had learnt basic wound care as a volunteer at the hospital, she’d never had to use it until her own leg got tagged when she was constructing her fence a few years ago — not that Toni needed to know that.
She didn’t need to know anything.
It hadn’t even been half an hour and already Toni had asked Shelby about her set up, how long she’d been out here, if she lived alone, and about Addie, who had strangely nipped playfully at her heels when they both came back through the gate. Addie never took to people immediately, usually taking days or even weeks to warm up to them.
Toni winced as Shelby hooked the needle through her skin again and pierced through the other side.
“You owe me a shirt,” she grumbled.
Shelby snorted, “You’re lucky I didn’t just leave you out there.” She continued to methodically thread the stitches, keeping her eyes on her task. “But you’d probably just attract something, so.”
“Fuck off,” Toni chuckled lightly.
“And it wasn’t like it was the cleanest shirt to begin with,” Shelby pointed out. “Hardly think I owe you just ‘cause you got blood on it.”
“Well, not all of us have running water, princess.”
Shelby paused with one stitch remaining. “Do I look like a princess?” she asked pointedly. “And I’d think about what you’re gonna say, considering I got a needle an inch from your eye.”
Toni huffed out a laugh. “Well, I was gonna say that you do, but when you put it like that.”
She didn’t once take her eyes off Shelby as she said it. Her tone seemed to lean toward it being a compliment, Toni’s words suddenly making Shelby’s cheeks feel hot. And those eyes, which were a perfect shade of brown, admittedly had her heart thumping a little faster beneath her chest.
Shelby cleared her throat and got to work on the last stitch, willing her flushed skin and her heart rate back to normal.
“There you go,” Shelby muttered, tying it off and dressing the neat row with what looked to be a small waterproof seal from the medkit. “It’ll leave a scar but should heal easy enough.”
“That’s cool,” Toni shrugged, grinning a little. “Chicks dig scars, anyways.”
She was still looking at Shelby, those deep brown eyes making her stomach turn uncomfortably. “Um, you can use the shower if you want.” Shelby started to clean up the medkit as she spoke, keeping her gaze from Toni. “It’s upstairs, second door on the right. There are towels in the cupboard as you walk in.”
Shelby wasn’t sure how to act, Toni throwing her completely out of her comfort zone. Luckily, Toni merely nodded, murmuring her thanks, and headed upstairs, allowing Shelby the space to breathe easy again.
She had relatively limited experience when it came to receiving attention from girls. She’d never had to really think about it or explore that part of herself, instead concentrating on her own survival for the past four years. The outbreak happened when she was barely into her senior year of high school. She’d had a boyfriend at the time, but thanks to her church and her family, Shelby had conveniently been able to avoid anything resembling intimacy with him. And apart from a brief chaste kiss with a friend right before the world ended, Shelby hadn’t had to exactly figure anything out — and until now, she never expected she would ever have to.
Not that she wanted to explore or figure out anything with Toni.
Shelby would get her cleaned up, give her a change of clothes, and she’d be on her way to Baton Rouge by sunset, or Beaumont for all she cared. Then she’d be the next drifter's problem, and Shelby could go back to living her life like Toni never stumbled upon her small slice of safety.
Shelby closed the lid to the medkit and headed up the stairs to her sister’s room that she now used for storage. She rummaged through a few different boxes, retrieving a pair of jeans, a shirt and a button up, and some fresh socks. She guessed at Toni’s size, figuring it was the same as her own at the quick glance she’d given her. She was really doing more than was necessary and more than her head was telling her she should. If it was up to her head, she would have sent Toni on her way as soon as she’d stitched her up, or better yet not even pulled her out of the hole to begin with.
She heard the water shut off after about 10 minutes. Shelby didn’t want to admit that she was listening for it, for the turning of the taps, or the rattle of the shower door. Shelby rationalized it with her just being cautious – nothing more. It’s how she survived, keeping everyone at arm’s length. It’s how she survived the QZ, and how she’d keep surviving after Toni left.
Shelby knocked lightly on the door, hearing shuffling footsteps before Toni popped her head out moments later. Her hair was wet and falling around her shoulders, a towel wrapped around her.
“Hey,” Toni smiled.
Shelby was flustered at the sight of her, seeing Toni fresh faced for the first time. It was honestly leaving her a bit breathless. She smelled amazing too, like vanilla and coconut from the shampoo Shelby was currently using.
“Here,” Shelby said stiffly, passing Toni the neatly folded stack. “It’s what I owe you.”
“Funny,” Toni quipped, reaching out for the clothes.
Shelby smiled in return, just a light quirk of her lips.
“Thanks,” Toni grinned, her eyes bright. They searched Shelby’s face for a few moments before dropping, as Toni backed up and closed the door behind her again.
When Toni came downstairs, Shelby was sitting at the kitchen table. She had it all set, cutlery, two bowls already on placemats and a pot of day-old stew resting between them. Addie had been following her about the house while she waited for their unexpected guest, Shelby trying to keep herself busy with unnecessary cleaning and primping her flannel shirt and adjusting her collar.
She had debated with herself on whether to give Toni anything to eat. She’d spent a good 30 seconds staring at the cupboard with the two bowls, telling herself to put one back. To just wait for Toni to come back down and then point her in the direction of the closest major city. But Shelby couldn’t make her hands cooperate, a sinking feeling hitting her stomach every time she tried to replace one.
It was just food, after all.
Shelby was being hospitable. Toni hadn’t tried to attack her, and she’d had plenty of opportunity if that was her game plan – and Shelby was pretty sure that she’d have no issue if Toni tried it.
That was what Shelby had been thinking to herself for the last few minutes when Toni came into the kitchen showered and dressed in the clothes Shelby had given her. And Shelby could now see just how attractive Toni really was underneath all of that blood, dirt, and torn clothing.
Shelby’s skin suddenly felt hot beneath her long sleeves. She attempted to calm her instinctual gut reaction with a slow even breath, but butterflies were wreaking havoc on her stomach – which was such a foreign sensation for Shelby. It hadn’t happened since high school and then very briefly in the QZ a few years ago, so fleetingly that it felt like it didn’t count.
Toni was looking at Shelby, standing tentatively and unsure near the kitchen counter. Shelby took another calming breath and motioned for her to join her. Toni smiled and took the seat opposite, before picking up the spoon and taking a bite.
“This is awesome,” Toni mumbled as she chewed her first mouthful.
Shelby merely shrugged, her eyes on her own bowl. “Anything would taste good when you're starving.”
“Not true,” Toni rebutted with a light shake of her head. “Food is fucking horrible in the Quarantine Zones, unless you go black market. But even then, it’s not like this.”
Toni took another bite, chewing happily, her shoulders relaxed and her tiny smile still hinting at the corners of her lips. Shelby knew firsthand what the rations were like with her time in Beaumont. FEDRA wasn’t exactly the Four Seasons of food, so she let the compliment rest.
They continued their meal in silence, and it was comfortable, nice even. Shelby couldn’t remember the last time she ate a proper meal with someone else – it honestly might have been breakfast with her dad the morning of the outbreak.
Toni finished before Shelby, her spoon rattling quietly in her empty bowl as she stretched back in her chair. She had a wide grin on her face, her gaze searching their surroundings absently before landing on the lounge room and Shelby’s stocked TV cabinet.
“Is that a PS2?” she asked, sounding impressed.
Toni stood from the table and started to make her way over before Shelby could even finish her own food.
“Hey,” Shelby called after her, standing up from the kitchen table.
“What games you got?”
Toni couldn’t contain her child-like excitement, bending down to be level with the cabinet.
“Can you not touch that, please?” Shelby fretted, feeling wholly uncomfortable having a stranger touching her stuff and invading her space.
“I haven’t played any of these since I was a kid.” Toni’s fingers flicked gently through the neat row of games. She stopped after a few titles, grabbing one out and turning on her heel to show Shelby. “Mortal Kombat?”
“Toni,” Shelby sighed, worrying her teeth on her bottom lip.
Toni was moving too fast. Shelby liked to be in control. She was feeling totally out of her element with Toni touching her brother’s things, with Shelby’s unexpected attraction toward her, with her being there with Shelby in general.
It was too much.
Toni got to her feet and moved toward Shelby, thankfully at a slow pace.
“Just one game,” Toni reasoned, holding it out to her. “One game and I’ll go.”
Shelby took the offered plastic case, hating that her stomach turned at the suggestion of Toni leaving.
She pushed the feeling to the side, looking back at Toni. “One game, alright?”
They were on their fourth.
Shelby had almost forgotten how nice it was to play with somebody else, after years of her just versing the AI. Toni was decent, though it was currently 3 to 1 in Shelby’s favor. But she’d admittedly had plenty of time to practice.
“I used to play this all the time with my little brother,” Shelby murmured softly after a while. “Before everything.”
It wasn’t necessary for her to share, but playing with Toni had her thoughts turning to her family. Of all those afternoons playing with Spencer. It made her chest ache thinking about him. He’d be 16 now — a far cry from the adolescent kid she left behind.
“Where is he now?” Toni queried, glancing at Shelby. Her tone was cautious, delicate like she was unsure if the topic was off limits.
“I don’t know,” Shelby replied honestly. “Last I knew they were near Fort Worth, so hopefully at a QZ some place. But it’s been years.”
Toni just nodded, continuing to mash the buttons on her controller in quick succession.
“Do you have anyone left?” Shelby deflected before she could think about it too much, feeling the pre-sting of tears pulling at her eyes.
“Nah, and not because of the outbreak. I was alone long before the world went to shit,” Toni muttered. “Used to think people couldn’t out sad me, then the world said hold my beer.”
Toni chuckled at her own joke, but Shelby could hear the loneliness in her voice, a longing Shelby could relate to immensely.
Adeline came up then and rested her chin on Shelby’s leg, letting out an exaggerated breath. Shelby removed her hand briefly from her controller to scratch her head lovingly.
“You two are like Dogmeat and the Lone Survivor.”
Shelby looked at Toni then as they sat next to each other on the couch, “What?”
“Fallout 4?” Toni glanced at Shelby, her fingers continuing to punch out a combo. “You never played?”
“I have no idea what that is,” Shelby laughed, her eyes on the TV screen, concentrating on the game.
“Don’t worry, it’s a compliment. The survivor is a total badass,” Toni assured her. “They wake up in the apocalypse to find their family’s been taken and you spend the whole game searching for them, tryna get them back.”
Shelby falters a little in her next move, her thoughts turning once again to her own family just as the game ends in another KO for Shelby.
“It’s dope,” Toni finished, placing the controller down between them.
Toni fidgeted a little, brushing the palms of her hands on jeans. She must have sensed the change in energy, Toni clearing her throat quietly. “Do you need help washing up?”
The way Toni said it felt like she didn’t want to go yet, but also like she was trying to pull Shelby out of whatever headspace she had landed in with her earlier comment. And it warmed Shelby, at the same time that it made her incredibly nervous. They’d been playing for close to an hour, and the whole time a very different kind of energy surrounded them, hanging over them both like a thick fog, and Shelby wasn’t sure if she was just imagining it or if Toni had felt it too.
She knows Toni should have left by now, that at this stage it was becoming obvious that something else was keeping her here. But Shelby also couldn’t deny how nice it sounded, to just share something as simple as doing dishes with someone else.
“Sure.”
It wasn’t that big of a task, only the two bowls and cutlery, with a serving spoon and the large stew pot.
“You don’t have to do that, you know?” Shelby said, her hands still in the few inches of warm soapy water. “You can just let ‘em drip dry.”
“I know,” Toni nodded softly, biting down on both her lips as she dried the bowl that was in her hands. “I want to.”
They hadn’t really said much since they turned off the game. Just working silently beside each other, clearing the table, and discarding any organic scraps in the composting out back. The sun was starting to set through the kitchen windows, the sky heading toward dark before long.
Shelby placed the last dish in the drying rack and drained the water, before drying her hands. She leant on the metal tub, keeping her eyes on the slowly receding suds that were disappearing down the drain. She had no idea what to do next, whether she should leave Toni to finish drying up, go up to her room and read a book, if she should just shower like she normally would at this time. Or if she should just stay standing here. She hadn’t had to think about anyone else but Addie for years.
She glanced at Toni, who was barely a foot away, absently wiping the bowl. Her thoughts appeared to be far off as well, but she caught Shelby looking at her, those dark eyes capturing hers instantly. And Shelby was frozen, her breath catching in her throat.
The dark honeyed brown was so deep that Shelby felt lost in them. They were so open and soft and human. Toni in that moment wasn’t a threat or even a stranger, she was just a girl. And Shelby could imagine, just for a second, that the world wasn’t over, and that she was just 17 again, and not 22 with the weight of everything that had happened bearing down on her.
“Toni.”
It was barely above a whisper. Shelby said it like a warning — a plea — as she brought a hand up to grip at Toni’s jaw and used it to pull her closer.
Shelby could have just let her leave, go back to the existence of waiting for the possibility of her family, but something inside Shelby begged her to not let this girl walk away.
She brushed her thumb over the soft skin of Toni’s cheek, Toni exhaling into the touch. And that was all the permission Shelby needed, leaning in the rest of the way and kissing her lips.
Toni dropped the towel she was still holding, her right hand coming up to circle Shelby’s wrist as she kissed her back.
Her lips were so soft, and Toni was applying the most delicious pressure. The butterflies that were circling around Shelby’s stomach hid higher under her ribs, making her skin tingle and her head swim. She was so dazed, Shelby tightening her grip on Toni’s jaw to ground herself.
Toni pulled away, whispering against Shelby’s now parted lips. “Are you sure?”
Toni sounded just as gone as Shelby felt, just as dazed.
She nodded, bumping Toni’s forehead. “I’m sure.”
Shelby had never been so sure of what she wanted than her wanting to touch Toni, to feel her skin under her fingers and to kiss those lips again.
Toni swallowed, her chest rising rapidly. “What’s your name?”
“Shelby.”
Toni smiled softly, “You should shower, Shelby.”
The timbre of Toni’s voice caused Shelby’s nerves to tighten. “Is that you making a joke?”
She shook her head.
All of Toni’s teasing was gone, replaced with a raw level of want and need and Toni not being able to take her eyes off Shelby’s lips.
Toni edged forward and kissed her again, and it took Shelby’s breath away. It was short but it left Shelby so needy, her fingertips digging into the soft skin of Toni’s jaw.
“Okay.”
Shelby grabbed her towel from its hook near the door and began drying herself.
Her thoughts were a tangled mess. She was thankful for the chance to have some time to herself, and that Toni had given her space, even if that wasn’t her intention. But Shelby knew Toni was waiting for her, which only made her nerves bundle even tighter in her chest.
She’d never done anything like this before, whether by choice or circumstance. A few minutes ago by the sink with Toni was the furthest she’d ever gone with a girl, and it was amazing and dizzying and everything her heart had told her it would be.
As Shelby wrapped the towel around her, tucking the corner so it wouldn’t fall, she wondered briefly if she should be putting her clothes back on. If it was too presumptuous to walk out in just her towel, if it was too forward – she honestly had no idea what she was walking out to once she left. She’d heard footsteps and the soft creak of a bed through the ensuite door, so Shelby felt justified in that assumption, but the small sliver of doubt latching onto her had her questioning everything.
Like if it was too much too soon, if it was a mistake, if she’d misread the situation entirely and was going to walk out to Toni still completely dressed and lounging on the bed.
Shelby honestly had to laugh.
She’d put down clickers, escaped a QZ, created this place for herself out of nothing. Yet the first pretty girl that had come along had her at a complete loss. It was almost comical.
When she finally opened the bathroom door, Shelby faltered with her eyes on the bed and her heart in her throat.
Toni was lying on top of the covers in nothing but tight gray boyshorts, with her hair up and back in its band. And Shelby couldn’t do more than stare, Toni’s body making her skin feel hot and her knees weak.
“Hey,” Toni smiled from her spot up near the headboard.
The smile was small and reassuring, and somehow made Shelby feel safe despite everything. The gesture calmed her considerably and had her slowly crossing the room, as Toni crawled forward to meet her and sat up on her knees at the foot of the bed.
“Have you ever before?” Toni asked.
Shelby shook her head. “No, have you?”
“Yeah.” Toni nodded gently, her expression growing soft. “I’ll go slow.”
She gripped the edge of the towel, tugging until it fell away from Shelby and to the floor at her feet. Shelby resisted the urge to cover herself or feel self-conscious, as Toni’s eyes roamed over every inch of her.
“You are so beautiful,” Toni whispered, sounding breathless and overwhelmed.
Shelby cheeks pinked at her words, Toni’s hand coming up to trace Shelby’s hip, her thumb rubbing soft circles over her skin and making her suppress a shiver that had shot up her back.
“You don’t have to,” Shelby told her, sighing at the delicate touch.
“Have to what?” Toni was distracted, her gaze still on Shelby’s body and her own hand before flicking up to her eyes.
“Go slow,” Shelby provided. She knew if Toni was to take her time that it would only succeed in driving her crazy — unless that was Toni’s intention.
Shelby watched those eyes grow darker and a strained breath escape. It was so unexpected, seeing the effect Shelby had on Toni, the way her words and her body had Toni gripping her tighter.
Toni used the hand that was already at Shelby’s hip to pull her closer and connect their lips in a tentative kiss. It only took the lightest of pressure for it to turn heated, Shelby’s fingers instantly getting lost in dark hair. It was like the kitchen, only turned up to 11. Shelby let herself be moved, letting Toni ease her onto her back, and kneel between her legs. Toni hovered above her as Shelby settled against the pillows, not putting any of her weight down — not until Shelby brought a hand to the small of her back and urged Toni closer.
“What?” Toni breathed, her palms resting either side of Shelby’s head.
“What’d I say?” Shelby whined softly. “You don’t have to be careful. I’m not some princess.”
“You sure?” Toni chuckled, her eyes alight and teasing.
Shelby groaned at her, finding her lips again in a searing kiss and causing Toni’s laugh to die in her throat. But she seemed to get the idea, her touch having more pressure behind it as Toni kissed her back, her tongue swiping across Shelby’s bottom lip.
Shelby gasped, opening her mouth and allowing Toni’s tongue to slide against her own and have her seeing stars. They exploded just behind her closed eyelids, Shelby getting lost in Toni’s kiss and the touch of her hands. They brushed over Shelby’s hips and down to her thighs where she had them hugging Toni’s waist.
“Just so you know,” Toni said, pulling back so she could look at Shelby. “It usually takes more than just dinner to get me into bed.”
Shelby laughed, her face feeling entirely too warm and not just from Toni’s words – everything about her was making her skin burn. “Noted.”
Toni smirked, tracing the fingertips of her right hand over Shelby’s brow and down her jaw, before kissing her again. It was deeper this time, like they were building toward something. Toni’s hips started to move, rocking against Shelby and pressing down just enough to have her nails biting into Toni’s back.
That same hand disappeared lower, and then Toni was lifting her hips up and sliding her underwear down her legs, before kicking them to the floor. And once Toni shifted back, Shelby’s brain short circuited. She’d never felt anything so amazing and breathtaking before, Toni’s bare skin now pressing between her legs.
Shelby ran her hands up and down the soft skin of Toni’s back, feeling hints of scars every few inches. She briefly wondered how Toni got them, the one on her forehead clearly not going to be her first. Toni hadn’t stopped moving against her, and it was making Shelby so ready. She didn’t think she’d ever been this turned on and she wasn’t too shy about letting Toni know either. The noises Toni was drawing from her escaped her lips, Shelby gasping them softly near her ear.
Shifting to one side, Toni skirted her fingers down Shelby’s stomach, before trailing them lower. She used her left hand to take most of her weight, looking down at Shelby as she did. “I’m gonna touch you now. Is that okay?”
Shelby nodded shakily, already feeling like she was going to pass out and Toni hadn’t really even started yet.
Her touch was soft at first, Toni’s fingertips brushing the area just above where Shelby’s body needed her most. But she soon moved lower, dancing over Shelby’s clit and dipping even lower. And Shelby wasn’t able to stop her hips from canting up to meet Toni’s hand, craving any form of friction at this point.
A satisfied sound slipped from Toni as she brought her lips down to Shelby’s neck, sucking the expanse of skin there just below her jaw. She dragged her fingers back up to circle Shelby, those fingers now wet with her arousal, and Shelby already felt like she was going to explode. She never imagined it feeling this good with someone else. Sure, she’d made herself come countless times, but this felt so much more intense. Each flick of Toni’s fingers over her clit had Shelby making almost inhuman noises.
“Can I?” Toni asked, her fingers now pressed against her entrance again.
“Please,” Shelby whimpered, wanting her to keep going, needing to feel more of Toni – needing to feel all of her.
“Let me know if I do anything you don’t like,” Toni murmured, pressing a quick kiss to her jaw. “Or if I hurt you, okay?”
Shelby nodded, moving her head to meet Toni’s lips again, needing them to ground her as she gripped at Toni’s arm and the back of her neck, her short nails scratching up into her hairline.
Toni eased one of her fingers inside her, Shelby gasping into her mouth. It was slow at first, Toni’s movements barely above a crawl as she pulled out again. But she soon picked up her pace, thrusting into Shelby, as her hips began to keep rhythm with her hand.
Their kiss turned messy and hard to contain, Toni adding a second finger before long. The new addition stung a little as it stretched her further, but Shelby breathed through it, getting used to the feeling until the pain faded to be replaced by something tight and hot and altogether mind blowing.
Shelby buried her face in Toni’s neck, her nails digging into her skin as pressure began to build low in her stomach, something familiar yet at the same time new and untamed.
With each thrust of Toni’s fingers and roll of her hips, it brought Shelby closer. Her palm was pressed against Shelby’s clit with just enough pressure each time to have her losing it and she was so ready to fall.
She gripped at Toni’s back, gasping into her ear. “I think I’m–”
“It’s okay, I got you.”
Toni’s words were so sweet and sexy at the same time. And coupled with Toni reaching a place inside her every other thrust, Shelby was crying out, coming around her fingers a few seconds later.
Waves of pleasure rippled throughout her body, her back arching off the bed and Toni working her through it before she slowly brought Shelby back down.
She gently removed her fingers, Toni allowing Shelby to wrap her arms around her, and pressing soft lingering kisses to her chin and jaw, before finding her lips.
“You okay?”
“Yeah,” Shelby hummed. "Just need a minute."
Toni's accompanying smile had Shelby wanting her all over again.
"We've got time."
Shelby had been awake for close to an hour.
She’d been up watching Toni sleep, watching as the sun had reached their bed and shone across soft skin and dark hair that was splayed out over the pillow.
As soon as she woke, Shelby couldn’t find sleep again. Her thoughts were going over and over the night she’d spent with Toni. Over what it meant, over what happened next now that it was morning, over all of it.
As first times went, Shelby figured hers was probably up there. It had been beyond any expectation she’d had, which was more than she ever thought possible. She’d always expected it to be awkward and unsure, or lately, not ever happen at all. But she had her first, and second, and third time, and Toni definitely hadn’t been taking it slow by the end of it.
Shelby brought her hands up to her face, rubbing gently and sighing softly against her palms.
When she pulled them away, dark eyes fluttered open and were looking at her from the pillow next to her.
“Morning,” Toni mumbled, rolling onto her back.
“Hi,” Shelby greeted, fiddling with the sheet that was pooling around her waist.
Toni sat up, stretching and letting out a loud yawn. “Sorry, slow starter. You been up long?”
“A little.”
Toni nodded, blinking the sleep from her eyes, “Was last night okay for you?”
“Yeah.” Shelby smiled to herself, her thoughts returning to the ones she’d been having since she woke up. “More than okay.”
“What’s wrong then?” Toni asked. She shuffled closer, gliding her fingers through Shelby’s hair near her ear.
“I know you have to go soon,” Shelby began, trying to word what she’d been thinking for the past hour.
But Toni just shook her head, “I don’t have to go anywhere, if that’s not what you want.”
Toni smiled brightly, making Shelby’s breath hitch at the notion of this not being the end she had been preparing herself for. But it was that same notion that had white hot panic shooting through her chest, Shelby shaking her head almost manically, her eyes squeezing shut.
“What if it all goes wrong?” Shelby voiced, her thoughts going a mile a minute, already mapping out every way this could possibly fail. “I mean, what if it doesn’t work out or we just end up hating each other?”
“And what if there’s a global pandemic, and what if society falls apart?” Toni gave a small shrug, completely unphased. “The worst has already happened. I don’t think I’ve got it in me to be scared of something that could be good,” Toni provided, continuing to run her fingertips through Shelby’s hair. “Do you?”
Shelby just looked at Toni, searching her face for any trace of insincerity or hesitation – wanting more than anything to confirm that Toni indeed wanted this too. But she didn’t see regret or fear. All she saw was longing and a gentle kind of happiness that Shelby had only dreamed could be directed at her.
“No,” Shelby answered softly. “I don’t.”
She couldn’t mask the smile that stretched across her lips or the way her heart thudded in her chest. Toni's smile mirrored hers, it reaching her eyes before she surged forward and pressed her lips firmly to Shelby’s, both girls laughing into the kiss.
“What the hell do we do now?” Shelby asked, once Toni had pulled back again.
“Clearing a drawer for me is a good start,” Toni teased, leaning her back against the headboard. “Which I don’t think should be a problem since you have a whole fucking neighborhood.”
“Oh my god,” Shelby exclaimed, covering her face with both hands to hide her ear splitting grin. She felt like hadn’t smiled like this in–ever, and it was all because of a girl who had literally fallen into her world on accident.
Shelby was struck by the thought that not even 18 hours earlier, she had held Toni at gunpoint, and here she was now basically moving in with her.
“We should probably go shopping too,” Toni commented lightly. “Kinda left all my shit back in Houston.”
“You are such a dork,” Shelby chided.
“You have no idea.”