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The absurd thing about death is how peaceful it is. One split second and it is all over; just endless darkness with no worries, no fears, no concerns. Every little whisper of a doubt; whisper of uncertainty, which has plagued your mind, like the Black Death centuries ago, is over instantaneously. An aspect which potentially could have been lingering on someone’s consciousness for days, months, or even years; gone in just a fraction of a second. Fleeting moments; split second decisions generate a ripple; the butterfly effect, where a single beat of a wing can potentially influence whether an entire civilisation lives or dies. The craziest part of it all is that in these moments, the points in time which dictates what path you walk, and maybe even your whole entire life, resemble the feeling of an eternity. The shortest span feels like a whole age.
Disturbingly, there is one aspect, one element, far more horrifying and fatal than death itself; the titans. Colossal, grotesque and sickening behemoths, who aimlessly wander; seeking their next meal in hopes of regaining their lost humanity by devouring the living. When faced with these monsters, it suddenly makes those moments in time more preferable; you beg for a quick death instead of mammoth teeth, clamping down on your limbs; crushing your bones and ripping you apart limb from limb. The saddest part of all is that those former people were conscious, forced to watch their own actions, whilst having absolutely no control; a literal living nightmare.
Wall Maria, Wall Rose and Wall Sina defended those inside from the Titans. Constructed as humanity’s last defence, a safe haven to preserve the last of mankind with those in the centre behind Wall Sina being the safest from harm. Like these; Levi fabricated his own walls around his heart; a barrier so he would never be vulnerable or weak again. He couldn’t take it; wouldn’t, not again, not after Isabel, Farlan, and Erwin. Whilst there were those already present in his heart; he did his best to push them away; keep them at a distance and refused to acknowledge his or their feelings at all. He was humanity’s strongest; a beacon of what little hope that they had leftover, it was selfish, after all he has a responsibility to persevere, to keep battling, to carry on the torch until the bitter end. Emotions are luxury he couldn’t afford to acknowledge; if he was vulnerable it could lead to blunders, and in his line of work any blunders, errors or misjudgements were almost guaranteed to be fatal.
Yet you somehow managed to crumble these walls so effortlessly. They collapsed down so swiftly to mere dust. He did his best to force you away; push you aside so he could spare you from any unnecessary pain. Despite neglecting his own feelings, no matter what suffering he caused to himself, nor how selfish he believed it to be, he truly did care for you. Even love you, if he was capable of love anyway. Regardless of his own feelings, he swore on his life, that no anguish would ever come to you as long as he had breath in his body, he would keep protecting you until the very end.
Or so he thought.
Yet here you were, before him, clutched in the grasp of the very behemoths he was meant to destroy. Humanity’s last hope, their salvation, powerless to protect the one person who meant more to him than anyone else in the world. Then was the moment he realised, that without a doubt in his mind, that he was in love with you. Selflessness be damned, with everything he had already sacrificed wasn’t he allowed one chance of happiness? One opportunity to love, and cherish someone like everyone else in Paradis. A feral cry escaped him, as he launched towards the titan. The grapples from his ODM gear anchored to the beast’s neck, as it elevated you, stretching open it’s repulsive grin, baring its murderous teeth to the world. There was just one focus within his mind; a singular goal that mattered more than anything else in that single moment:
Saving you.
Despite appearances, Levi was more in control than ever; more focused than ever. It was in this moment he came to an epiphany; emotions and feelings are not a weakness, but actually a strength. Yet in order to remain strong, to be humanity’s hope and salvation he needed you, as you were the source of his strength. Reaching the monstrosity, the titan’s other hand stretching around, ready to clamp down on him and add him to the menu that was you. However, Levi was focused, he dislodged his grapples, and refired them, aiming at the hand that clutched you in the titan’s grasp. Gracefully spinning as he did this, he landed on the elbow joint, slicing through it effortlessly. Blood spewed from the cut, covering nearly head to toe. Normally he would react differently, making comments such as, “Tch, disgusting.”, but mostly he never stated anything at all. Grimaces and unimpressed, distasteful look were his go to reactions, usually followed up with his meticulous cleaning methods to rid himself of the filth. However, right now only one single thing in the entire world mattered to him; you.
You plunged towards the earth from around 15m high, the world rushing by, just a blur of colour cascading by as you attempted to scream; yet no sound emerged from your mouth. Clenching your eyes shut, you braced yourself for impacting, suspecting that this might be your final few moments. At least they weren’t in the jaws of a titan, where your bones would be crushed and muscles grinded to dust.
“It’s okay, I’ve got you now.” Came a soft, soothing voice. Cautiously, you open your eyes, as a strong pair of arms, wrap around you and pull you close. Gazing down at you was Levi, piercing eyes met yours, but you weren’t met with the usual cold, harsh glare. Instead, you were met with warmth and love, mirrored by a ghost of a smile. Levi realised now, the reality of the world, despite being cruel, gut-wrenching and sorrowful, was also beautiful, loving and full of wonder. The world is what you choose to make of life, an experience completely of your own making. Yes, some factors are outside of you control, you can be thrown into circumstances you cannot help, but how you choose to react and handle them is entirely of your own volition.
He softly brushed some of the hair of your face, before shifting his focus to his ODM gear hellbent on bringing you to safety. Discharging the grapples, they hooked around the protruding, yet unwavering, branch of a mighty oak, he glided swiftly towards one, gripping you possessively to his side. Settling on top of it, delicately released his grip, but not entirely. Softly, his other hand brushed your hair aside from your forehand and leaned down and gently pressed his lips onto your skin. A faint gasp escaped your lips, as a light blush littered your face. Grasping his face, you pulled his lips away, startling him, before slamming your own against his. Gripping you back, he poured every thought, feeling, and emotion he could into the kiss as words had previously failed him; he hoped this time he could clearly convey to you how he truly felt. Cautiously, Levi pulled back, like you, a light blush littered his face too.
“Are you okay?” Levi murmured, as one hand cupped the side of your face with the other looped around you, clutching your back against him. You nod, leaning into his touch, enjoying the surprising warmth emanating from what people perceive to be a cold, harsh, and intimidating man.
“Yes, I am now, thanks to you.” You smiled.
“Good,” he breathed “listen about how I treated you, how I acted and what I said, I didn’t mean any of it. I was trying to be strong, trying to push you away to live up to expectations; to be strong for other people, but I was wrong. So damn wrong, and I’m so, so sorry-”
Swiftly, you placed your hand over his mouth, cutting him off mid ramble, but smiling at him. In that moment he realised that no matter his past actions, what he did, didn’t matter to you; you felt the same way he did. The only thing that truly mattered now was moving forwards; together. All this was the end of the effect, the final results of what seemed to be an inconsequential action. So small, that even a hummingbird was colossal in comparison, much like a titan to a human. Yet this did not mean it was the end of everything, like you and Levi, it was only the beginning; a beginning that starts with one small action:
A single beat of a wing.