Chapter Text
LOCKWOOD IS A DICK
george, stop drawing moustaches on my sketches
It wasn’t me!
don’t lie
I’m wounded. I would NEVER defile your creepy ghost drawings like that
they’re not ghosts, they’re people
taken some creative liberties have you?
shut up
surely lockwood didn’t do this
lockwood would never do this to me
would you, lockwood?
I sincerely apologise, Lucy. I thought they looked funny.
YOU PRICK
always so quick to blame me when he’s the REAL devil here
shut up george
I hope you both stub your toes
LOCKWOOD IS A DICK GENIUS
Milk
Whole grain bread
Apples
Carrots
Hummus
Magnesium flares
Iron filings
Lettuce
no offence hols but this is the worst shopping list i’ve ever seen
also we need butter
full offence, this list sucks
Here’s the real list:
vinegar crisps
bacon
choco leibniz MULTIPLE PACKS
bread that tastes good
milk can stay
butter
flares
filings
salt we are running very low because SOMEONE spilled it all in the garden
only because SOMEONE threw the bag at me without a heads up
George, you know you shouldn’t be throwing things.
because he can’t AIM
Because he can’t aim, yes.
Holly, just get everything, I’ll add some extra notes to the grocery money.
I WILL get you three to eat veg if it’s the last thing I do.
:(
>:(
:(
New rule: you don’t get to survive ghosts just to die of scurvy.
watch out, Lockwood, Holly’s the boss now
Holly’s always been the boss
<3 you lucy
<3 gross
LOCKWOOD IS A DICK GENIUS POMPOUS DICKHEAD
WHO ATE ALL MY JELLY DONUTS
kipps
you’re such a tattletale julie
:P
GO HOME OLD MAN
BUY YOUR OWN DONUTS
respect your elders
FUCK OFF
You can always have some of my baby carrots, George
YOU FUCK OFF TOO
HEY
DON’T SPEAK TO YOUR BOSS THAT WAY
<3 <3 <3
Kipps, did you eat my choco leibniz too?
no
It’s ok if you did
I won’t be angry
I didn’t. I’m allergic to chocolate.
WHAT
FUCK OFF YOU ARE NOT
I am though?
HOW
I’m not teaching you how allergies work
HOW HAVE YOU SURVIVED THIS LONG
AS AN AGENT
AS A PERSON
Quill - should I be storing the chocolates away from you? I’m sorry I didn’t realise you had an allergy
IS ANYONE ELSE ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING THAT I SHOULD BE AWARE OF
PEANUTS? MILK? PENICILLIN?
LOCKWOOD, DO WE NOT HAVE THESE THINGS ON FILE FOR EMPLOYEES?
Does Kipps count as an employee?
LOCKWOOD
I’m allergic to cats
I’m allergic to Lockwood’s cologne
I’m allergic to Lockwood
You’re fired, Kipps
You never hired me
We really should have medical records for employees. If someone is hospitalised we need to know blood type, allergies, medications, etc.
Anthony Lockwood, I don’t know WHERE you are hiding, but we WILL have this discussion.
Have you tried looking in Lucy’s bed?
FUCK OFF
LOCKWOOD IS A DICK GENIUS POMPOUS DICKHEAD Negligent employer
was Flo here? everything’s covered in dirt
YES
she found a fascinating Source for me to examine
is that the ONLY thing you examined? ;)
ew
funny way to tell everyone you’re a virgin, Kipps
Quill - don’t be rude about Flo
I wasn’t! I was being rude about George
that’s allowed
ANYWAY
We think it dates back to Roman occupation
DEFINITELY a powerful spirit attached
Type 2 for sure
Luce you should try to talk to it
Is that really a good idea?
Be careful, you two
That really isn’t what Lockwood & Co.’s M.O.
jesus, must we have every discussion by thinking cloth?
Yes
No
Who wants spag bol for dinner?
LOCKWOOD IS A DICK GENIUS POMPOUS DICKHEAD Negligent employer CHILD
I know everyone won’t see this until the morning
And I know it was a rough night
A really, really rough night
But you all were fantastic. As employees, as agents, as kick-ass human beings.
I know I don’t always express it, but I am honoured and grateful to work alongside you all every day. This truly is the best agency in London, and it’s only because of this team.
Everyone rest up. In the morning I’ll be ordering a veritable feast from Arif’s. We did an amazing job and deserve a party.
Thank you all–George, Lucy, Holly, Quill, and even, on occasion, Flo–for sticking by me. I appreciate you more than words can ever say.
-Anthony J. Lockwood
LOCKWOOD IS A DICK GENIUS POMPOUS DICKHEAD Negligent employer CHILD PRETTY GOOD FRIEND I SUPPOSE
and we love him too <3