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"Look at you, I almost feel like I should be proud." Kaoru laughed as he watched Rei, squinting, scroll through messages on his phone. He smiled as he lifted his glass up to his lips. He was still just a little too young in this world for anything stronger than what he was sipping, though he was thankful for the chance to go out at all. It'd been a difficult day, adjusting to this and that - but at least the familiarity of the one and only Rei Sakuma could ease some of the worst growing pains.
He would've liked for it to be the producer, of course, but having Rei there was a welcome second place. He claimed that Adonis had been there, as well, but in a place that it was difficult to get ahold of him. There were still intricacies that Kaoru was going to have to get used to over time, apparently. But as much as the younger version of himself rolled in his metaphorical grave, going on a trip to the other side of this new world to see things like real magic and the Bubble world's own version of the sea with such a good friend seemed fun.
The weight on his chest, the one he hadn't even noticed, had almost been lifted as he sat at the living room table with Kanata that morning. As Kanata described how different this world was from the one he'd just fallen asleep in. While hearing that he may not see his sister in a while - or a handful of other people he'd miss, of course - did sting a bit, it meant his life could be completely different.
Not having to worry about anything he did here was... nice.
Being able to kick back with no repercussions, not having to worry about his image whatsoever, not having the same responsibilities but being given the option to pursue them if he chose to was nice.
He could continue doing as he did back home. He could continue as he was - or he could whip his life into a whole different direction and never have to hear a single word from an angry man with strong hands. Kaoru could allow himself to think differently, maybe, if it was true that he would remember nothing upon returning home. If no one else would remember, either.
The 'you won't remember!' depression was something he was hit with for several hours, and multiple people had explained how normal it was. There was also the 'you may only be here for one day!' that followed, but learning that Rei had been there for upwards of nine months or so made him question that.
He spoke kindly as they walked together, finally under the veil of twilight. Kaoru teased about the sensitivity to the light as Rei seemed to be extra wimpy about it but the hushed explanation made a little more sense. Well, as much sense as it would in a dream world. Sure, they'd go with 'the presence of magic is making my condition worse.' Sure, okay, whatever.
The duo had gone to the bar in the hotel Rei had once frequented - quiet, but still with a vibe that the two of them could enjoy together. They'd walked a while and deserved somewhere to rest their (in Rei's case, old) legs.
"I've learned a lot since I've been here. I'd count myself among the lucky few to be here for so long," Rei grinned, finally abandoning his phone to look his company in the eye. He picked up his own glass, much stronger than Kaoru's, and nursed it pleasantly. "Did you know they offer classes on technology specifically for people from different times? There's even one for people who aren't human."
"You're still going with that persona here, old man?" Kaoru shook his head, though there was still a smile on his face, too.
"There are some things I will never be able to change about myself, even in a world where I could be anything I'd like to be." Rei's eyes lingered a little too long on his friend's. Kaoru looked away, though Rei's smile widened. "Ah, but there are some new things you may enjoy learning about me, and about everyone else you knew. It's been enlightening to see everyone frolic in a place of such freedom."
The hair on the back of Kaoru's neck stood up on instinct, and every muscle tensed for just a moment. He reminded himself silently that it was Rei, even he was coming on strong it was his friend and he'd done it himself a time or two for the giggle. And in a world they wouldn't remember what they did or said...
Kaoru turned his head slowly to look him in the eye again, searching for whatever innuendo was behind the hypnotizing stare. 'Frolicking' seemed a little infantile, but 'throwing himself into bed with a man' was probably more what he was going for here. Toying with the idea back home happened, obviously, being surrounded by Japan's most beautiful as well as having to share space with whatever the fuck was happening in that school and that building was far, far from a place a truly straight man would ever be seen. At this point Kaoru had accepted that he would be interested, and it softened his relationships with his unitmates especially. With Rei, now that he wasn't disgusted by the way he would speak when he wanted something.
Now that they were in a place like this, was it wrong for him to want to try?
"Ah, haha, my drink's all gone..." Kaoru placed the empty glass onto the bar after obviously downing the rest.
"Hm..." Rei threw his drink back and swallowed down the rest, obviously exposing his neck to his company as he did so.
Kaoru gulped.
"Ah, it seems mine is gone as well. Shall we continue our tour?"
They stood and left, somehow still smiling and laughing as though there was nothing odd happening. As though they were just friends back home, and they hadn't had a little... moment.
That is, of course, until their phones both went off at the same time.
"Huh... that's... weird." Kaoru screwed up his eyes as he looked down at his, confused at the sudden, erratic buzzing.
Rei dropped his as he read what came up on the screen, effectively shattering it.
But there was no hiding from the message as he looked up at the display behind the windows of the store they were walking past. As he whipped his head around to see the giant, looming screen in the city's center. As he looked in the other direction and saw it on the marquee of the theater across the street. It was everywhere. His name was everywhere, in every language, on every screen, in bright lights.
- REI AND RITSU SAKUMA WERE RECENTLY IN A RELATIONSHIP THAT LASTED OVER FIVE MONTHS. -
"You really pissed someone off to make up something like that of you. What did you do?" Kaoru laughed uncomfortably, trying as hard as he could to deny what he just saw Rei do. Because someone innocent could be that shocked to see something like that, right?
Rei's heart pounded so hard that it began to hurt. It was so loud that it was thundering in his ears. Suddenly every face of every pedestrian was looking at him as far as his mind told him. Suddenly the world completely stopped and he had trouble breathing. It was like cement was trying to pull through his veins, like his lungs froze over and cracked. Every light was too bright, every sound was too loud, he was suddenly struck with the feeling that the ground wasn't moving and the air had gotten so, so cold.
He took one step, not even trying to respond to Kaoru speaking to him. He couldn't hear him over the pounding in his ears.
"Because that's such a weird, impossible lie...?"
Tears welled in his eyes. Everything hurt. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't see anymore. He couldn't think. He couldn't move. He couldn't breathe.
Nothing they did in this world would be remembered when they woke up.
The realization hit Kaoru just as hard as the car that passed by them would have if he threw himself into it. He tried his best to keep on his smile, tried his best to believe Rei wasn't capable of something so revolting, but the look on his face wasn't helping him.
"...right?"
Thankfully there was a trash can on the side of the road. Rei leapt for it, thrusting his head into the smell of rotting fruit and filled it further with the drink he'd just shared with what was a treasured friend. He clutched the metal bar that lined its side, hard enough that his hands shook. There was no way this was happening, he'd taken every precaution so that no one would ever know. They moved to different locations, he put the rooms under a fake name, paid in cash, they staggered when they'd arrive and when they left, he disguised himself, he...
"Are you fucking kidding me?! What the hell's wrong with you?"
Kaoru's voice pulled more from Rei's stomach.
He shook, pathetic and weak, as his body tried to rid him of whatever disgusting filth that lied within him. But unfortunately for everyone who now knew - everyone - there was more inside of him than just his gut. It was in his blood, constantly pounding in his veins. It was in his mind, in his fingers, in places no one else could see. The regret in his heart may have been pure, but the sheer fact that he'd loved every moment he spent with Ritsu would be something he would have to live with now permanently so long as he stayed in this dream.
Would he ever be allowed to wake up?
Rei's feet hit the pavement quickly. He ran from Kaoru, in the direction of his brother's apartment. He ran from having to explain, from anyone who would have seen him and assumed he was the person being put on display, from the life he would never be able to live again in this world.
"Where the hell are you going!?"
Even if he'd told Ritsu they had to be finished, if he'd finally put his foot down and explained how wrong it was for them to even think it was alright to experiment in such a way, even if he'd done everything in his power to keep Ritsu safe... Even if he'd broken his heart badly enough he had to keep other eyes on the boy, even if he'd mourned himself and tried to wash it away, he was still going to have to live with the repercussions. There was nowhere he could hide.
Rei tried to run from it. He'd buried their relationship, even at the cost of Ritsu cutting him off completely. It had been months. Why had it now come back to him? Why did it have to be shared with seemingly everyone in the world?
He had to make sure Ritsu was safe before someone decided to do something that wouldn't be remembered when they woke.
He had to make sure Ritsu was safe from himself before he decided the little announcement everyone had just received was the last thing he wanted to deal with in this life.
They were going to live with being branded from then on, no matter how they tried to cover it. No matter how much Rei would run.